"life is tough my darling, but so are you"

Happiness did not feel like I thought it would. It did not find me in a tearful exchange with my mother, or in a sunrise painted with colors so vibrant and exquisite that they seemed to be dancing across the horizon. There was no moment that transcended time and space in which I finally felt that all of my troubles had faded away into the background. Happiness was not an event. It was not a moment. It was a taxing and heartbreaking and pitiful process, but ultimately, it was magnificent, not in the sense of a Hollywood-worthy scene complete with the perfect soundtrack, but in the sense that for the first time in almost three years, I felt as if my life was getting better. In the end, happiness was not a moment or an experience or even an emotion. Happiness was hope.

No, fuck you. I deserve better.