I was a professional juggler for like five years and all of my friends politely pretend it never happened.

Sometimes I will be holding three or more similarly sized objects and they will all shoot me the kind of warning glances typically reserved for cats who are about to swipe a fresh and crispy fish stick from a small child’s hand.

I gaze wistfully at a basket of apples and they all think, “Don’t you FUCKING dare,” so hard that I take psychic damage.

They were FORCED INTO CONCENTRATION CAMPS WTF LA TIMES

thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis is how you normalize fascism

HOW DO YOU FORGET THE CAMPS

oh god this is too much of a mood

God tier humor

@muslimfinn

After this week, this gives me faith

he’s mirroring! cats do that to be social that’s also why they will lie on laptops or books. they want to do what their humans are doing because they enjoy being in the same room and socializing that way. getting him his own prayer mat was a really good idea bc now he gets to mirror without being in the way!

The other thing is that cats have a very good sense of time and tend to like regular schedules. If OP’s family members pray every day at the same times, in the same place, the cat knows the drill and probably considers this an official Household Activity which requires Feline Supervision.

Halal kitty

This cat is Muslim and there’s nothing anyone can do about that

Rb to pet Muslim kitty

sorry the what? the what moray

as a bisexual, some of the shit y’all try to claim is “bi erasure” is just fucking BANANAS 

"Be sure to pass my complaint along to management." I won't. In fact, I'm going to tell him you left a compliment. Eat ass

"You've lost a customer!" No. No, I wouldn't call this a loss

Ma'am I know this may come as a shock to you but the reason you're unhappy everywhere you go is because every time you go somewhere, you are there. And I can sympathize. Because I'm experiencing this problem right now, too. But together. I believe we can make it through this

4 tennants of my religion