Abby Drill

Mum: Reading book, pencil case, snack bar... Zara why is there a pack of cat food in your school bag?

Zee: In case Minnie gets hungry.

Mum: How many times? Minnie doesn't need to go to school.

Ava: Told you so.

Zee: She wants to go, she told me.

Mum: Well, she told me she wants to stay here.

Zee: I told you I wanted to stay here, but you said I still had to go to school. So are you saying I don't?

Mum: ...........

Zara: Fleur, hold the torch, I can't see.

Ava: Eeee's ooo mal.

Zara: Can't hear you.

Me: That's probably because Ava's got her mouth wide open while Fleur, who is too small by the way, holds a torch while you attempt to look down her throat. Where has this craziness come from? Or do I want to know?

Zara: Mummy said Ava has a frog in her throat and I want it to come out so it can be my pet.

Ava: I didn't eat a frog Abby, I don't know how it got there.

Me: She just meant that your voice is a little croaky, probably from the plane. I'll make you some hot water and honey, that will help.

Ava: Phew, thank you.

Zara: Boo, I really wanted a pet frog.

Me: Well,next time you see Davina you can ask to see hers.

Zara: Okay *Sneaky grin*

Me: Zee, don't even think about putting one in your pocket. Again. Mama still hasn't recovered from the last time you tried that trick.

Ava: It jumped onto her head!

Me: I still can't figure out why she needed to phone Mildred afterwards to see if she was alright. Strange. Anyway, we're on holidays and there's fun to be had, let's go.

Ava and Fleur: Okay.

Zara: If we find a frog I get to keep it.

Me: Hey Zee. Hi Granny.

Granny: Hello dear.

Zara: I don't work here.

Me: Huh?

Zara: This isn't my job, I'm just helping Granny fold clothes.

Me: That's very nice of you.

Zara: Yes, I think it's very nice to help.

Me: Where did that pound coin come from?

Granny: I gave it to her for helping me.

Me: I see.

Elizabeth: Oh Ava, aren't you lucky having a big sister who can paint pretty flowers on your face for your birthday party?

Ava: Yes. I love my pink roses. And Fleur's a unicorn.

Elizabeth: So she is. And Zara, you're.... errrr?

Ava: *side-eyes Zee* I WANTED her to be Hello Kitty.

Zara: I'm Batman.

Davina: Oooh, that must make me Batwoman. Can I have my face painted too, Abby, pleeeeeease.....?

Me: Of course you can.

Mama: *Eyeroll*

Me: Well, you did tell me to make sure all the party guests were happy.

Mama: The children, next time I'll be more specific.

Granny: Oh, in this case I think you were just specific enough my dear.