bipol-her

Ugh first post so here...I...go!

These past couple of weeks have been quite eventful and I don’t say that with a happy face (or would it be a sad face my emotions don’t know). A little under 3 years ago I was clinically diagnosed with Bipolar 2 disorder which if you don’t know is a mood disorder including drastic changes in mood throughout various periods of time. You see, my moods can go from extreme depression of not wanting to go anywhere, to “ugh I hate that I don’t want to go anywhere”, to “why can’t I get up, back to “I can’t believe I can’t control this”, all the way to “okay I can get up”. Trippy right?? Imagine living it! 

I came on here simply to have an escape to where my thoughts can run as wild as they usually do but without judgment or desire from my family to “fix” my running wild mind. So far this is quite cathartic.

I know for sure I drive my hubby crazy with all of the variations of my mood that I can experience even within an hour! Yes, I’m on meds but they can only do so much. Even being on them I go through crazy emotions just at the simple thought that I HAVE to take them. And when I say that it’s mandatory I use that in a sense of if I want to maintain my marriage, job, lifestyle, and refrain from going into an utter depression that I end up killing myself...that’s pretty mandatory to me. The meds make me wacky though because I experience all types of side effects definitely including brain fog, the dreaded weight gain (UGH), constant cravings, and slow metabolism to name a few. I know there are some of us out there that are saying “PREACH my sister!”. The side effects alone make me feel so frustrated and depressed at the same time! I’m frustrated that I’ve gained weight, can’t remember things from 5 mins ago, wanting to eat everything in sight, but can’t poop for days...