Today in 5 words: I MET TOM FUCKING HIDDLESTON
AND TALKED TO HIM FOR THE WHOLE 5 STOPS OF HIS TRAIN JOURNEY.
HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK
Guys, I justâŚI donât even know what to say. I donât even know how to talk about this yet, without YELLING LOTS OF NONSENSE. But I feel like I need to share, so Iâm going to try, and convey the important bits at least. Apologies if this devolves into some series of all-caps word vomit (spoiler alert: it will), but you know, at least Iâm still alive and typing. Not functioning, not even close, but I suspect thatâs my default state now for days or maybe weeks.
I was really upset - devastated actually - that I wasnât able to get tickets to Hamlet earlier this week. I was feeling quite sorry for myself because I have an expiration date on my time here in London, and I felt severely disappointed that I missed out on what was likely my only chance of seeing my absolute favourite person live on stage.
But apparently, Iâve done something right in my life? Because today the universe decided to make it up to me.Â
I was sitting in the tube station and out of the corner of my eye, saw a strikingly familiar, very tall and recognisably-clothed silhouette coming towards me. I think my brain actually stuttered, if thatâs a thing, because even though I recognised him immediately, it seemed to take a minute for my brain to catch up and start screaming, WHAT DO WE DO NOWWWW? at me. I quite literally could not believe my eyes. He walked past me. Itâs likely at this point I suffered a mild stroke.
I screwed up all my courage, even though I felt like an idiot, because I just could NOT let this opportunity pass me by. So I went up, tapped him on the shoulder, said âIâm so sorry to bother you, but I just have to say hello, because I love you SO MUCHâ whichâŚcringe? Ahaha. But also, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO START THIS CONVERSATION? There is literally no good way. And I wanted to somehow express my admiration - I mean, I didnât want him to think I was just approaching him because heâs a celebrity, any celebrity, you know? I would only go up to somebody who sincerely means something to me, someone who I just canât not take the chance to speak to. Basically, TOM. Heâs the one. Anyway. Iâm sure some people will think this is embarrassing, and uh yeah, it totally is, but he just gave a little laugh (RIP, ME) and said, âThatâs very kind, Iâm really just a regular guy.â (Um, no.)
At this point I was going to be like, Anyway love your work, thank you, byeee or something like that and slide off and leave him alone, but then he asked my name, shook my hand (DEAD, AGAIN) and asked where I was from. In the middle of me trying to explain where Manitoba, Canada is (again, he asked - I was really trying my best not to be intrusive on his time!), the train we were both waiting for pulled up.Â
(Me on the inside: What the fuck do I do now?! Do I get on this train? Does that seem like Iâm following him, creepy stalker style? BUT THIS IS MY TRAIN. BUT ITâS HIS TRAIN TOO. ARE WE JUST GETTING ON THE TRAIN TOGETHER NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING)
Long story short (haha jk, this is already not short and itâs about to keep being not short, at all), we did get on the train together. We both stood at the back of the carriage, leaning against the back wall, and we had an ACTUAL FUCKING CONVERSATION FOR TEN STRAIGHT MINUTES. A conversationâŚbetween me and TOM. THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE, AND ALL OUR LIVES. ALLOW ME SEVERAL LINES MORE OF SCREAMING HERE BECAUSE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
And Tomblr friends, this is what I would like most to tell you: he was exactly everything I had hoped he would be. An absolute dream. He was kind, inquisitive, thoughtful, down to earth, and just so perfectly genuine. He did not have to keep talking to me - he couldâve said, âNice to meet youâ, walked away and sat down and put his headphones in, the way everyone does on the train, and Iâd never have thought any less of him for it. Instead, he stood there with a stranger who probably had a noticeable hint of hysteria in her voice/face, and asked me questions, and looked me in the eyes, and listened to me, and made my fucking day/week/year/LIFE.
Here are some other things:
The superficial: He was BREATHTAKING in person. Just so, so, so beautiful. He actually glowed like a movie star. He was wearing the official Out and About in London Tom uniform: dark blue sweater, faded black jeans, the cuddly coat (!!), grey suede shoes, andâŚglasses. GLASSES. GLASSES!!!
There was adjusting of the glasses happening while we were conversing. Oh yes, there was. Also brow furrowing.
I cannot even convey the depth of my delight over his hair right now. Itâs grown out even more since SDCC. Curls - glorious curls!!! IT IS SO CUTE.
Also: BEARD. The effect of the curls and the beard and the glasses altogetherâŚis simply indescribable. ThisâŚthis was PEAK TOM, you guys!
Iâm honestly having trouble remembering what we talked about, which Iâm so mad at myself for, but itâs rather difficult to register things when youâre having an internal meltdown, I guess? I am proud of myself for managing to form coherent words and sentences (How? How? I donât know. By the grace of god, I suppose). He asked me what I was doing in London, and what I liked most about London. When I told him I up and moved here with zero plans, just to have an adventure, he said âWowâ and asked if I found the city overwhelming (Uh, NOT AS OVERWHELMING AS THIS IS RIGHT NOW. But also, what an adorable thing to say. I melted. Ugh).Â
At one point he said my name, looked right at me and very clearly said âSARAHâ and my heart exploded and I canât even remember what it was about. I may have temporarily blacked out. I will surely never be the same again.
I mentioned being a bit sad about my unsuccessful attempt at Hamlet tickets, as we were talking about theatre in London, but said he must be excited to get back on stage and he said, yes, heâs looking forward to it. He said heâs very sorry that anyone was disappointed about not getting tickets, but he was really glad that it was done in a way that gave everyone a fair chance (which I agreed with).
He asked me about my job (I do social media customer care for a tech company) and then we talked for a bit about social media and what a weird thing it is. Which was probably quite an interesting conversation, but again, I think I blacked out because I barely remember any of it. I hate myself. I DO remember that his voice in person is even more heavenly than itâs possible to describe. And that he was doing that Tom thing of thinking really carefully about his answers, and crafting them so eloquently. I will try to come up with more details if anyone wants to hear them. I feel such a stupid idiot for not being able to remember more at the moment!
One thing I would like to express but donât know how to say it exactly, so I hope this comes across as I mean it: he was not overly cheerful. He seemed more than willing to chat, was extremely kind and expressive, and as I said - if he hadnât wanted to talk to me he had every opportunity to make his exit, so I think he was happy to do so. But he was not all smiles, he seemed kind ofâŚpensive, I guess? And I could see that this was the real Tom - just caught in a moment of a quiet day, making his way through London, having a little chat with a stranger. He wasnât being âon.â He actually frowned more than smiled, but not in an unhappy way - just in that really thoughtful way of his, where heâs weighing his words, and really listening. I actually loved it, because he seemed soâŚreal, and solid, and normal, and so HIM.
I did not ask for a picture because I didnât want to make things uncomfortable, or interrupt the flow of conversation, and I was much happier having a chance to talk to him. The only thing I regret is not having a photo of him just to remember how goddamn gorgeous he looked. ButâŚthis was so much better.
If youâve read this far, first of all, Iâm sorry this is SO MANY WORDS, and thank you. I guess there are maybe more things to say, but Iâll stop here. I need to attempt to calm the fuck down now and go to sleep. Feel free to chime in or drop into my inbox if you want to hear more. This is literally the only thing I will be talking about from now until the end of time, so sorry, everyone in my life.
One last thing: Iâm more convinced than ever that all of us who fell in love with this man, we were right. He deserves it. He was perfect.
I feel so unbelievably lucky at this moment. The world is beautiful, I love you all, good night.
(Tags for some of you who may be interested in this overly long and magical tale - Iâm sincerely sorry that Iâm sure to forget lots of you - but as you now know Iâve recently suffered a massive brain and heart meltdown, so. @ceciliasyndrome @hiddleston81 @devikafernando @magnetobsessed79 @craftynidan @thehumming6ird @insanely-smart @beaglebitch @tomhiddleston-kikibfairy @freckletriangleofdoom@restlesstymes @nelsonn8 @8thwonderofthewxrld @desert-power-6 )
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