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you know he had to do it to em 😔

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Someone with ADHD: I really really struggle to fall asleep at “regualr times”, no matter how tired I am I just can’t seem to fall asleep at 10 pm!!! But I almost instantly fall asleep any time after 2 am. What should I do?

NT sleep advice: You, someone who cannot conceptualize time in any way whatsoever, need to identify TWO HOURS in advance when you want to sleep and, with your executive dysfunction that makes making decisions at will almost straight up impossible, make the decision to stop whatever you’re involuntarily hyperfixating on. Then, you, with a focus disorder that makes it so that you have to be doing something at all times, sit and do nothing for 2 hours. You cannot read. You cannot be on your phone. Do not move. Do not talk to people. Just sit and do nothing. If you can’t fall asleep it’s because you Did Something and it’s your fault. Bluelight 24 hours before you want to sleep is the reason. Never look at a TV, Phone, computer, OR let one of these objects be within a 24,000 mile radius of you. Never ever go NEAR your bed unless you’re already asleep. If you are AWAKE in your bedroom ever you will not be able to sleep. 

What helped was 1) anxiety meds and 2) melatonin. I have multiple timers on my phone to ensure that I take both of these before 10 PM every night, and if I’m consistent about it I can reliably fall asleep around midnight and wake up at 7 even without a morning alarm. (I still HAVE a morning alarm, obviously. not gonna tempt fate over here.) Waking up before 7 and being any kind of functional is still a challenge, but if I had to I could probably make it work.

Also, I have emergency backup Xanax (in a tiny baby dosage) for nights when my usual routine fails to silence the hamster wheel. I go through a 30-pill refill of that in six months or so, normally. Although 2020 has been, uh, a lot more anxiety-inducing than average.

It seems so obvious in hindsight, but for me it was this huge revelation that the most important thing was getting a good night’s sleep, not ‘doing it the right way’. There is absolutely no reason why I (or anyone) should feel bad about taking a supplement that helps me do that. Melatonin is also a hormone your body naturally produces, and a hell of a lot safer than sleeping pills. And hey, it comes in gummies.

I will warn though, from personal experience, you do want to figure out what dosage works best for you, because if you take a higher dosage, it will put you into a deeper sleep. Which sounds great, but I was having an issue for a while where I kept waking up with neck and back pain, and I finally figured out— I was sleeping in awkward positions, but was in a deep enough sleep that I wouldn’t move around or adjust, and then I’d wake up hurting. I adjusted the dosage back a little and the problem instantly resolved. For reference, you can get melatonin OTC in dosages of 1-10 mg; I currently use 5 mg gummies, and will occasionally take two as needed, about 1-1.5 hrs before I want to go to sleep. Or… y’know, when I realize that I should be asleep already and forgot to take it earlier, better late than never.

yes! I distinctly remember, not long after I started taking it, a night when it was 10:30 PM and I had the thought “oh, I’m tired. I should go to sleep now” 

Logan: That... can’t be right.

Thomas: What?

Logan: What you described. Is that not just the normal experience of being in the company of friends?

Thomas: What??? No.

Logan: But that’s how I always feel in the company of all the other sides...

Thomas: ......

Thomas: Uuuhh—

Logan: Am I missing something?

There’s no good reason why you don’t deserve these basic parts of living, so don’t let your anxious mind tell you otherwise! 💛