AmFrog

I have always hated the phrase "just friends."

"We're just friends" is shorthand for "we aren't romantically involved, our relationship is entirely platonic" in a way that is absolutely riddled with amatonormativity. The idea that romance is more or additional to friendship, that a romantic or rose relationship is somehow bigger or better or more than "just friendship" is completely baked into that phrasing. Every time I hear someone say it, I want to cry.

Nothing makes me feel more alienated from others than hearing that the love I have is considered lesser. Nothing makes me feel more hated and worthless than the idea that no one will ever appreciate the familial and/or platonic love I absolutely pour out for them the same way they appreciate a romantic partner's.

My love is not less just because it is non-rose. My friend who wanted to date me didn't want something more, he wanted something different.

The love I feel for my friends and family is deep and meaningful and real and beautiful. My best friend has my entire heart, and he always will. I love him so much it hurts. I want to spend every single day hanging out with him, and that love being platonic does not make it inherently inferior to romantic love.

I am so tired of the love I can and do offer being seen as weak or lesser, even by my own family, and it all comes down to the idea that being completely platonic is a "just" or an "only", that dating is something "more".

So, here are some alternatives that don't make me feel horrible:

Purely friends

Simply friends

Solely friends

Entirely platonic

Completely platonic

Purely platonic

Simply platonic

Solely platonic

Entirely non-rose

Completely non-rose

because you stop being your parents' priority when you become an adult. you're never yours siblings' priority. and you stop being your friends' when they start dating. and you only become your child's priority when you're old if you were a good parent and that's a terrible reason to have a child. most people prioritize their romantic partners.

Not a partner, but a companion and friend.