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the best thing a man can do is have big brown eyes. the second best thing a man can do is be bisexual

There are around 7 videogames

(knows nothing about a subject) I Should Start An Ambitious Project

sorry i'm still angry about this but if your excuse for not caring about female characters is because you're not sexually attracted to them you are exactly 0 degrees of rhetorical separation from a redditor whining about how his favourite video game is now "too woke" because the women don't show enough skin

[record scratch] [freeze frame]: yeah that's me. that's me in the corner. that's me in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Nervously, I pull from the tarot deck. It's the Nine of Clocks. My fate is revealed to me: It's my bedtime, and I gotta go to sleeps

worry about it kitten daddy fucked up

i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays

Waiter? For me, your yummiest slices of meats & cheeses. For the lady one yucky berry

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

Airport stress level gap relationship

hello my name is Stray Hair snd my big dream is to play the itsy bitsy spider on broadway. doyou mind if i practice on the side of your head.

when you’re having a laugh with your dad but then you suddenly remember that he’s going to hell

This is what it’s all about. Saturday night. At home. Switching between the same 4 apps on my phone. Getting scared.

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

being single sucks [remembers that romantic love isnt the gleaming beacon of salvation that will fix the chasm within me] #mychasm #isupportmychasm [remembers not to trivialize my emotions] but it is painful to never have been deemed worthy of that kind of lasting love [remembers how many incels there are] but honestly you should be totally self-sufficient and never want anything ever [remembers that im evil] im evil