What a crazy world...

3500 years ago a bunch of people decided to build a tower to the sky and now I have to worry about keeping up my Duolingo streak

no, i don’t have a “dream job.” i want to spend my days reading and writing and lazing in the afternoon sun. i want to bake bread and brownies and apple crumble. i want to grow my own vegetables and plant a rainbow of flowers. i want to be with nature. i want to be at peace.

I could recognize any Fall Out Boy song within the first five seconds of hearing it being played but if you asked me the name it would take me a few minutes and I would probably say it wrong

By fall out boy

i wonder what war soulja boy fought in

wish there was a washing machine type thing for humans... i too would like to gently whumbltmgrwhgbsvbsh and be cleaned

@ricebutts

🙄

im a person who wants to do lots of things trapped inside a body that wants to SLEEP at all times

This is the way you’re supposed to do pranks!

I try SO hard not to make faces when I hear someone around me say wild shit but I just can’t stop myself

I know for a fact I’ve told this story on here before but I’ll never get over the time when I was working retail and I was cashing out some lady so I asked “cash, debit or credit how are you paying, ma’am?” And she said “that’s none of your business.” And demanded to speak to my manager about my invasive question

I am trying so hard to imagine how she thought that was supposed to work.

this next trick is a little something i like to call “bulking out my bibliography with articles I barely looked at”

“Works Sighted”

New pants

ppl w curly hair are so important