wow babe ur so prey coded and breedable

Doms be assigning bedtimes as if they don’t have the most horrific sleep schedules?

The most pious monk of the 2000s was reported to get two more ribs inserted to make double sure he couldn't such his own dick

internet wiccan tries to harm me with an emoji spell but i narrowly survive bc my phone is too old for updates so i just get black rectangles, easily one of my favorite color and shape combinations

god I wanna show this image to a medieval peasant SO bad

I’m crying because when my dad was eighteen he was going to join the airforce and then the night before he had a dream that Jesus slapped him in the face with a gigantic fish and asked him what he was doing and he woke up and thought, “Jesus is right what am I doing?” And that’s why my dad did not join the military. 

you gotta just thug out this uti man theres no way we're missing the final wiggles concert

tony soprano could've built a meth empire but walter white couldn't have gone to therapy