i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably
it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this
every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@1pandamanypanda
i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably
it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this
every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly
World Heritage Post

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heard someone say "who even owns a rolling pin anymore" and my brain froze trying to process it. what does that mean. are u implying rolling pins are outdated technology? did we come up with a shiny new 21st century method of flattening dough of which i remain uninformed? is there now an app on the app store people are using instead??? im losing my mind "who even owns a rolling pin" people who BAKE
#kneadless comment
Comic about amnesia
Aw, Quincey Morris saying he’s going to have ‘a pretty lonely walk between here and kingdom come’ but he spends those days surrounded by friends, fighting beside those friends, dies to protect them, and dies in their arms.
Being turned down by Lucy didn’t make him lonely, it made him even more loved and gave him a family.

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@ralfmaximus Showers that will kill you
Holy shit I thought this was a Sims bit or someone playing with CAD software, but the last few seconds knocked me out
@thebibliosphere I'm pretty sure you are the appropriate recipient for other people's terrifying home renovation choices
Smeemo no!!!!!
My fellow Tumblr denizens may be confused by this image, but trust and believe that the chiveposting that has been happening is in a chef/back-of-house subreddit and everyone has been so so loving and supportive (for line cooks) of this fellow who started it all by wanting to improve their knife skills. He is taking it all in good humor, the edits with the airplanes crashing into "towers" (wrong size long chives) have been consistently funny, and the mod comments of "we WILL continue chiveposting despite the haters of repetitive content bc We Like It" have been a delight. He was a few hours later than he normally posts today and the subreddit was in an uproar bc they feared something had happened to him, but thankfully he uodated with the above image and the shitposting hit the algorithm so hard it was briefly one of the top posts.
Please understand, we love the chive man. His sisyphusian attempts, which are never perfect, gives him an excuse to practice every day and his efforts are rewarded with updoots (high praise on a critical af platform)
Some day he might get bored and not post. Until then, chive on.
The German company that built the forklift used in the Louvre robbery uses a photo of the heist to advertise itself: ”
"The Böcker Agilo moves your 400kg treasure with a speed of 42meters/minute. Quiet as a whisper thanks to the 230v electric motor."

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Self harm is an unhealthy coping mechanism. Substance abuse also. Nicotine and alcohol too, even if they're legal. Binge eating, starving yourself, isolating yourself, pushing your loved ones away, these are all unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Writing dark fiction and drawing dark art to vent is healthy, doesn't hurt anyone, and unlike all of the above, helps you process your trauma.
They see disgust as "harm"
They are personally disgusted by some topics, therefore they see themselves as harmed by them
They also cannot believe that anyone else would have a different opinion, and those who don't view those topics as disgusting are secretly lying
So ultimately they see engaging with dark fiction as a form of self harm
This is really, really interesting to me and actually does help me understand antis' perspective.
It falls under the immature assumption that your feelings are facts.
It's the "If I feel someone is angry at me, that means they are angry at me" kind of thinking (completely discounting whether the other person is actually angry or not).
It's an immature, but also unfortunately, common way of thinking.
"This topic makes me feel bad, there for it is bad," treats feelings as if they are facts, discounts logic, and is almost impossible to argue against, because the person is not using conscious thought to begin with.
This just reinforces to me that the only way to deal with antis is to just not engage with them. Until you reach a level of maturity where you can separate your emotions from facts, I don't know how to talk to you.
It falls under the
immature assumption that
your feelings are facts.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
let's put Scooby and the gang in a genuine horror movie situation, i wanna see what these freaks are truly capable of
"didn't they already do this with—" no. put them in a slasher film. put them in a BLOODBATH. put this van full of weirdoes in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenario i have FAITH in them
THEY'D DO WELL IN SAW
okay I'm thinking about this
not Saw specifically but a slasher with a legit body count. Summer camp slashers are overplayed but I think it really works because it's the type of thing the Scooby gang WOULD get caught up in.
like some of the counselors didn't show up (got got) so the head counselor calls his younger cousin to see if him and his friends can fill in last minute. They show up and they're a bunch of nerds, one of them even has an anxiety dog, and they don't have a big role at first. It seems like the movie is setting them up as cannon fodder.
and then the deaths start and suddenly the nerds are locked the fuck in. The little one with the glasses actually fixed the phone line and is taking stock of all their supplies in case the vehicles go out. The counselor's cousin who seemed like a himbo has set up a perimeter and made makeshift alarms for all the doors and windows, knows all the entry points. The anxious one and his dog are keeping the mood up with the snacks and activities that were supposed to be for the kids, making sure nobody panics and starts making dumb decisions. Somebody tried to grab the redhead and she flipped him over and had him zip-tied before anybody noticed. Weren't they a D&D group or something? What is happening???
one thing you gotta appreciate in Carpenter’s The Thing is that it is also a horror from the POV of the monster. At the end of the day it’s a movie about a bunch of assholes isolated in the middle of nowhere doing what they can to survive, and by “doing what they can” I mean freaking out and screaming and throwing up. this also includes the Thing.
Everybody in the Thing, including the Thing: FUCK!!!!! THESE GUYS ARE GONNA KILL ME!!!!!!! FUUUUUCK!!!!!!
found goat milk and wheat ale at the store. theres no way im NOT making a white gilgamesh tonite
ok here we go. recipe/original post here:
i sent this post to my friend who is known for making Concoctions. thinking she'd just find it funny. i underestimated her hubris
so for anyone curious about the white gilgamesh experience. i hope this satiates that sick desire in your hearts
TWO THIRDS BEER AND ONE THIRD MILK
FROM A GOAT OR OF ITS ILK
SURPRISINGLY IT'S REALLY GOOD
WHITE GILGAMESH, MISUNDERSTOOD

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found out that sex is only something you can imagine, not anything that actually happens irl. relieved is an understatement