ive been here for so long, just a little too long

Icelandic folklore requires you avoid saying the names of evil whales, otherwise you’ll draw their attention.

Yall have evil whales?

what if we took polaroids of each other and then i kept one of you,,, and you kept one of me,, and we put them in the back of our phone cases,,,, just a thought,,

I think as adults with our own living spaces it's important to have your friends over periodically for a sleepover. And i mean a real sleepover. Staying up late to watch movies with junkfood and popcorn and then going to bed only to stay up even later talking in the dark and laughing because you're so exhausted that everything's funny but you still don't want to fall asleep.

I just lost 3 years of my life

UNMUTE THIS OH MY GOD

This would immesurably improve both sports.

Lmao I just realized I can prove that reality shifting isn’t real with one single experiment

Let me be clear! If someone can do this and does get provably correct results, that’s amazing! I will eat my hat while apologizing all the way! However, I highly doubt that there will be any such results, as I believe that reality shifting is in fact lucid dreaming (Occam’s razor).

people are calling dreams reality shifts now huh

not surprised by people believing in anything at this point, but i am surprised i’ve never encountered anyone who thinks this is a thing you can do.

you ever just see some Massive Fucking Discourse barreling past you like a truck going the other way on the interstate and then try to forget you ever saw it

If I ever became very exceedingly rich I would scout some superb animators and hire them for what I would call ‘the most canonically accurate possible films of the lord of the rings’ where every single scene of it would turn out exactly the same as the book. I would perhaps add pieces of dialogue but I would take away NONE of it. YES that includes the entire council. I would make this the longest, most beautiful, most agonising three films to watch imaginable. I would hire voice actors with incredibly specific accents, Forlong would sound subtly different to Boromir but not as different as Hirluin and all of Gondor would sound completely different to anyone in the north. Glorfindel and Elrond would sound italian. I would even include Tom Bombadil. You would know and care about every single one of these minor side characters that were cut from the originals. Erkenbrand will be so dear to you when I’m done… when I’m done Farmer Maggot will be a household name. I have scene changes and shift structures and visualisations planned for this I’m not joking. I think about this all the time. You would all love and hate me and despair. As you turned on my 56 hour nightmare of a visual feast and weep at hour 5 when you still haven’t even left the shire yet. 

To be clear, I would then release this for free onto the internet on stable servers that allowed downloads and link sharing. Even if the tolkien estate told me to take it down, they would never get it in time and it would be on the internet in some form forever. Any proceeds I made would go directly to the animators whom I will then have employed for, I assume, the last ten years. 

You really must pity these animators whom I am going to be just the worst kind of producer for, I come in to see the new frames every morning and just burst into tears and that’s like the first 10 minutes of every meeting, immediately going into like some important discussion where they beg me to allow them to cut even one of these lines of dialogue or at least streamline this scene and I’m just like no <3 Actually I have an extra scene I want you to storyboard so they understand who Arvedui is and then they all groan and sob themselves but they do it because I am simply paying them so so very well and I don’t care about deadlines whatsoever. 

Thank you all for your support and offers of aid, I will become obscenely rich as soon as possible and let you all know

Gofundme when?

Never, I will fund this entirely out of my own pocket or it will not be funded at all, this is not going to turn into another ‘all or nothing’ so HELP me god. Unless one of those Gamestop millionaires would like to sell me a single infinity money stock for one british pound I will accept no donations whatsoever

i liek cosmic brownie :) *eats one* *gets sick for a little bit* *recovers* *eats one again*

anyone know that reddit post about a girl who’s gf washes her hair and it talks about non sexual intimacy

My heart..

people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now

The older this post gets the funnier it becomes

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?

Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.

i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone

They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them

world heritage post