Runner Five, Report!

~

ERNIE VAN ARK: Careful, Ranger Five. Keep to the ruin of the church. That’s Valmont’s correctional facility ahead, a former resort on the island of Tabarca. It appears he’s swapped the swimming pool for a 20-foot perimeter wall with turrets every meter. The patrol of guard makes its changing shifts by the gate. I know it’s difficult being back near your kin. Janine is there, I’m sure of it. Getting her out won’t be easy, Five, but no matter what, remember, we’ll be there for you.

PETER LYNNE: Oh, for the love of – did you have to call this one Five? There’s plenty of numbers out there that aren’t dear and absent friends, you know.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Runner Five is heroic, efficient, devoted, brave. Who better as an icon for the escaped experiments of Red Scorpion Base?

PETER LYNNE: Brilliant! I’ve gone from Valmont’s drugged-up lab rat to joining his posse of lost toys! He’s going to find out I’m free any time now, Ranger. We have got to get Janine out before he does!

ERNIE VAN ARK: I wish we could be with you, Five, but only Valmont mechs can enter that building. I’m getting your shoulder cam live and clear. We’ll be monitoring from the boat. Funny... A prison of that size. What does Valmont need it for? He can’t have that many enemies he wants kept alive. Sorry. That’s him, I think. My other self.

PETER LYNNE: I’m telling you, Ranger, you ought to sleep with one eye open. One of these days you’re going to wake up to find he’s stripping you for parts! Oh, the shift change is done. The old patrol’s gone inside. The new one’s walking the perimeter.

ERNIE VAN ARK: They’re out of sight. See the gatehouse, Ranger? The bunker built into the wall with turrets either side? This is your chance to slip inside before that patrol comes back around. Quick march, like you belong. Fast as you can, Five. Go!

~

ERNIE VAN ARK: Gosh, those turrets bracketing the gatehouse door are big. There’s a scanner on the lefthand one, Five. Press your eye to it. The mechs here are old Model 4s. I used to see them on Red Scorpion. I’ve tweaked your transponder to match. You’re clear. You can get inside.

[door creaks]

PETER LYNNE: Not exactly plush, is it? Like a big, bare closet. Just a work station cycling images of the prison.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Not even any chairs for the rangers on duty! And Valmont let them get rusty, too. Barbaric. Better hurry, Five. There’s a guard watching the far monitor, but they haven’t noticed you yet. Plug the cable from your left forearm into the nearest console. The rangers here are networked with the prison. It was similar on Red Scorpion Base. I can use you as a relay to hack the system.

PETER LYNNE: The other mech’s looked your way. That’s a really big gun arm she’s raising. Ernie, hurry up!

ERNIE VAN ARK: Got it! I’ve sent a signal to all the guards, triggering their diagnostic protocols. They’ll be offline for a short while, cycling self checks. According to the database, DeLuca’s in cell 44 on the far side of the prison. Five, you can take the stairwell behind the gatehouse up. That was an extremely messy hack. The guards won’t be offline for long. And they’re going to be very, very angry when they wake up. Run!

~

PETER LYNNE: God, Valmont made this place a proper Cell Block H, didn’t he? And not even the Freak to liven things up. Corridor after corridor of cold, gray cells with murky portholes on the doors. I don’t see any prisoners so far, just lots of ugly stains. Ugh. I thought my prison was hell. This one might be even worse.

ERNIE VAN ARK: She wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me. I put that tracker on the USB stick in Tunisia. I’m the one who got you captured. The old me didn’t make that choice. This was all my fault.

Peter, the others said... You know about guilt. Do you ever... see something beautiful, like a bird or a sunset or this island, and then worry that you maybe don’t deserve it because of what you’ve done?

PETER LYNNE: No. No. I told you in Murcia when you tried to toast those marshmallows. I am not playing therapist with the ghost of Ernest Van Ark! Christ, you were easier as an evil boss! There! That’s her, cell 44. Break the door down, Five, now! [metal slams] It’s... It’s just... An empty cell and a wire cot. [exhales] Ernie? She isn’t here.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Wait. Look. There’s a loose breeze block behind the cot. Five, see if you can pry it all the way out.

PETER LYNNE: A hidey-hole with a snapped off spoon inside. I can see there’s something carved into the stone in the hole. It’s a... is that a... [laughs] It’s a flow chart. A branch plan. Janine told me they help with organizing thoughts in times of extreme stress.

ERNIE VAN ARK: She’s noting the guard patterns, getting floor plans. She’s working out an escape. Oh, Peter, these branches all link to your name. She was planning to find you.

PETER LYNNE: Valmont was threatening to torture her already. If he caught her planning an escape...

ERNIE VAN ARK: She must be in serious trouble. Five, the interrogation wing is on the bottom level. Take the spiral stairs ahead down. There’s a warden’s office in that wing. It has line of sight to anywhere they might have taken her. Freezing the rangers may have bought her some reprieve, but they’ll probably blame her for us shutting time down. We’ve got to get her out of here. Hurry, Five!

~

PETER LYNNE: There, Five! The iron door at the bottom of the stairs, it’s marked Warden. Kick it down!

[door slams open]

ERNIE VAN ARK: Lots of monitors in there, showing all the interrogation rooms. Look for Janine, Five. Hold on. The way Sam used to describe Abel. That room looks like his comms shack, only filled with extra recording equipment. Are those film cameras?

PETER LYNNE: Yep. That room’s got a Maghreb flag pinned up. That one’s got the stars and stripes. They look like... film sets? What is Valmont doing here?

ERNIE VAN ARK: Five, something’s moving in the vent above you. Look out!

[JANINE DE LUCA shouts]

PETER LYNNE: It’s Janine! She just dropped out of the vent! Careful, Ranger, she’s on your back. Jenny, can you hear me?

JANINE DE LUCA: First sever the optic relays, then the cranial wires!

ERNIE VAN ARK: She’s ripping Five’s external cables out. Hold on, I’m routing us through Five’s speakers.

PETER LYNNE: Janine! Janine! It’s me, it’s Peter! It’s okay. The ranger is with me.

JANINE DE LUCA: Peter? No. Enough recordings, enough simulations, enough making me hear him in distress or Mr. Yao in fear. If you think feelings will stop me, you are very much mistaken!

PETER LYNNE: Janine, it’s me, it’s really, uh – Suffolk tequila! Remember? Number 77 on your bucket list, you wanted to be spontaneous with me! Spent two days planning it. We drank a bottle of tequila from the Suffolk enclave on your farmhouse roof. I sang Fernando! Badly! But we danced, and you fell and sprained your wrist. I don’t think Maxine believed it was a training exercise. It’s really me. I came to rescue you.

JANINE DE LUCA: Peter? No. You should not be on this island.

[alarm blares]

ERNIE VAN ARK: That sounds like a problem.

JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Van Ark. I wouldn’t have expected you to be involved in this. The other rangers appear to be shut down. If this was your doing, it was very, very rash. Valmont boasted of the security here when I first arrived. If the guards are inactive for more than a short time, the prison will start a purge. All captives will be executed.

I spent months planning a covert escape by the vents, one that wouldn’t raise the alarm! When the rangers shut down, I was forced to expedite my exfiltration in a far from optimal way. We must evacuate the prison. I’m taking command of this rescue operation, effective immediately. Ranger, follow me. According to that screen, the other prisoners are in this wing. Open every cell door that we pass. There’s no time to lose. Down the corridor, past the guard stations. Move!

~

ERNIE VAN ARK: One more cell ahead, Five. From seeing their databases, the last with a prisoner inside. The rest are all trailing behind you and Janine.

[door slams open]

CAPTAIN : Qu’est-ce que c’est? Qu’est qu’il ce pass?

JANINE DE LUCA: It’s a prison break, Captain. Follow me. To freedom!

ERNIE VAN ARK: Wait a minute. I recognize that man. Captain Blaise [Canard, a French sailor who joined the Maghreb. He caused a lot of trouble for Red Scorpion Base before his ship went down. Some of these prisoners must be his crew.

JANINE DE LUCA: Valmont tried to force me to record tapes for Abel, implicating the Maghreb in my capture. I checked the warden’s office during my escape. He’s trying to do the same to other prisoners here, trying to make the Maghreb believe Abel is holding their sailors ransom. This is no mere prison. It’s a factory for disinformation and false flags!

[jingle over intercom]

PETER LYNNE: Oh, that sounds like a Valmont announcement.

BRENT VALMONT: Attention, prisoners! If you’re hearing this, my guards haven’t regained control in the allotted window. Janine, I bet it’s you, you scamp! Well, don’t worry. As the vet said to the vicar, I’ve got a fix for that. My techs developed a painless gas for quelling prison riots! This isn’t it. This one makes your lungs pop and your eardrums melt. Don’t worry, I’ll have your remains stuffed and sent to Peter. What an end for star-crossed lovers, eh? The exits are all sealed. Enjoy your tomb, Janine. It’s been a wheeze!

JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Van Ark, gas is pouring from the air vents. We could use an exit plan!

ERNIE VAN ARK: I... I don’t know. I thought turning off the rangers was clever. If I had another week, I could have shut the whole system down, but we were in a hurry. I’ve done it again. I’ve doomed you all. I’m sorry.

PETER LYNNE: Ernie! Van Ark, you little megalomaniac, focus! You never felt guilt when you were killing millions. Why start now? They need ideas, not brooding. That’s my turf! What about Five’s arm cannon, is it powerful enough to break through the walls?

ERNIE VAN ARK: It isn’t. Unless... Peter, you’re a genius. The rangers are as deserving of rescue as anyone. The gas will kill them, too. But they might also be our only hope. Janine, Five, there’s a vehicle bay down the corridor. It has poorer ventilation, the gas will take a while to build there. Smash through the doors, Five, and try to hold your breath. Hurry, go!

~

JANINE DE LUCA: [coughs] Mr. Van Ark, we’ve reached the vehicle bay. The door’s sealed behind electrified shutters. The bay is empty save for many frozen guards.

ERNIE VAN ARK: The rangers are all networked, Five, remember? If you use your cable to plug into the nearest one, I can grant you admin privileges. I can route the network through you. You’ll have control of every ranger here, enough to shoot your way out. But the neural strain will be extreme. You won’t be able to take more than a few minutes, maybe not even that. Are you sure, Five?

JANINE DE LUCA: Under the circumstances, Mr. Van Ark, we have no alternative. Your ranger is plugging in.

ERNIE VAN ARK: I’m configuring the network, Five. Linking you to all the other mechs, waking them up, giving you control... now. [Ranger Five screams] Five? Are you all right? If you can still hear me, raise your right arm. It worked! All the mechs in the building are raising their arms! Five, if you can bear the strain, point your gun arm at the nearest wall. Let them follow suit, and fire!

[heavy gunfire]

PETER LYNNE: That did it! And the wall’s coming down. Roof’s starting to give out, too.

JANINE DE LUCA: Thank you, Ranger. Now lead the prisoners into the courtyard before the ceiling collapses. We must get clear of the gas. Through the wall, run!

~

ERNIE VAN ARK: You and Janine are almost across the prison courtyard, Five. Peter and I are waiting past the gates. I’m so sorry, I know this must be agonizing, but if you can manage one more volley, blast the outer wall down.

[heavy gunfire]

Five, thank God you made it out! I’ve set your network to shut down. The other rangers should be going back to sleep any second now. Oh gosh, you fused half your circuits. That gun arm won’t be firing anytime soon. Still, look at all these prisoners you’ve freed!

JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Van Ark, that was quite the rescue plan.

PETER LYNNE: [clears throat] It, uh... wasn’t all him, you know. God. Jenny, come here.

JANINE DE LUCA: Peter, you’re shaking.

PETER LYNNE: Oh, that’s just some uh, drug withdrawal and a spot of joy. I, um... I didn’t think I would see you again.

JANINE DE LUCA: I had no intention, Peter, of letting that be true. You and Mr. Van Ark are a surprisingly effective team.

ERNIE VAN ARK: We’ve had our ups and downs, but I suppose we’re both immortal. We’ve got eternity to work on it.

PETER LYNNE: Under absolutely no circumstances! He’s been worse than torture, Jenny, really.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Janine, it’s my fault you were captured. I promise, I will make up for it. I only wish we’d got more of the rangers out, but at least we’ve rescued most. If I study their software, I think I can work out a shutdown hack that accounts for Valmont traps. And there’s a yacht beached along the shore we can use to send the prisoners home. Now you’re free. If anyone can give us an edge against Valmont, it’s you.

PETER LYNNE: After we get some rest somewhere far from that cell.

JANINE DE LUCA: Alas, that’s not an option, Peter. Valmont chose to gas his captives rather than use explosives. He likely means to count the bodies. When he finds I’m missing...

ERNIE VAN ARK: He’ll know to raise his game.

JANINE DE LUCA: Indeed. Whatever his plans, whatever he was using his prisoners to distract from, our escape only invites an escalation. We must seek to counter him. Whatever friends we have in danger, wherever Valmont has his sights, I fear things for everyone are about to get much worse.

~

[cloth rustles]

FRANCES DEMPSEY: I... Sorry. Madam, I... Oh, thank you, really, but I have to go.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Quinzi, please keep the carnival crowd from jostling Frances. I must say, that magpie mask suits you well. [laughs] And Frances, a black swan to match Maxine’s raven!

MAXINE MYERS: We need to keep our masks on tonight. All the gangs of Venice are out, including the most powerful of them all, the Mala.

MOHAMMED Who, alas, have been on the hunt for myself and Frances since we first stepped foot in this city.

MAXINE MYERS: I’m sorry, it’s my fault! I brought you into danger, into a plague city. But I need your help to locate the source of the sickness. And tonight, with the carnival for cover, we might finally be able to.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: I’m just glad we found you, Maxie. I don’t care about the plague... well, I do. Those poor people. But not as much as I care about you. Me and Mo spent months looking for Five, for any of the missing Abel people, traveling all over Europe. I’d kind of given up hope. And then we found you! That’s awesome. And you think the plague’s waterborne, right? Me and Mo and Quinzi have been drinking bottled water since we got here. We’ll be fine.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: And besides, it wasn’t truly you who summoned us, was it, Maxine? Your messages came via intermediaries. And its origins was this mysterious contact you’ve mentioned to us, the person who helped you to escape from Valmont.

MAXINE MYERS: If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have made it out of Tunisia. When I got away from Valmont, I was half-drowned, no equipment. That’s when I got the first message, just a printed note with instructions on how to find a stash they’d hidden for me. Food, weapons, maps.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: But you never spoke to them. You’ve got no idea who it really is.

MAXINE MYERS: No. But I didn’t know how they knew I needed help, unless it was one of the others. Five, maybe, or Janine. I don’t know why they can’t get in touch directly. But with Valmont watching... That’s another reason you need to keep your masks on tonight! Valmont might have eyes in the city. I know he’s been tracking me since I escaped in Tunisia. That’s why I couldn’t risk a message home.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: I’ve tried to raise Amelia since we found you to tell her the happy news. My signal never gets through. Blocked by this Valmont, no doubt.

MAXINE MYERS: His reach is terrifying.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: But tonight, we’ll be just four revelers amongst many as we search for the origin of the plague devouring the city from the inside. After the next bridge, we’ll be in Mala territory. We must run!

~

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: We are in Mala territory now. Although it doesn’t look as fearsome as their reputation. The lights from all the palaces reflecting in the water, costumed revelers on every balcony, quite beautiful.

MAXINE MYERS: It’s not usually like this. Since Z-Day, this city’s been divided into territories run by the gangs. Some of them, like your magpies, Quinzi, take good care of their people. Others, not so much. This carnival is a general ceasefire. All the gangs are free to move through each others’ territory, and so are we.

[fireworks explode, audience cheers]

FRANCES DEMPSEY: They seem weirdly happy. For, you know, people in a plague city.

MAXINE MYERS: You need to understand, everyone out there has lost someone or is in the process of losing someone to this sickness. There is no escape, no cure. It’s a party for the end of the world.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: And you are entirely convinced, Dr. Myers, that this plague is connected to Mr. Valmont?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Yeah. I know he’s like, a terrible person, but deliberately spreading a plague is next-level terrible.

MAXINE MYERS: It’s him. When the buboes are fully developed, you can see a V-shaped lesion in them. I think Venice must be a failed experiment, a test of his panacea that went horribly wrong. But it can be cured, I am sure. I just need to know where it came from, where it started.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The plague is everywhere! The streets are filled with the sick and the dead! What makes you believe, Dr. Myers, that this has but one point of origin?

MAXINE MYERS: Have you ever heard of John Snow?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Um, yeah. The “You know nothing” guy from Game of Thrones?

MAXINE MYERS: [laughs] No, the other one, the founder of epidemiology. In the 19th century, people thought diseases were caused by miasmas, bad air. He didn’t. There was a cholera outbreak in Soho he was sure was carried through the water. By studying the spread of the disease, he traced it back to just one water pump.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: They removed the pump’s handle! I believe to prevent further infection.

MAXINE MYERS: Yeah! And I’m no John Snow, but I’ve done my best. I’ve spent the last weeks interviewing plague victims, mapping the spread. Quinzi, you’ve been a massive help. You know Venice better than anyone, and you’re very good at opening doors, literally and metaphorically. Thanks to you, I think I’ve located the well that’s the source point for the whole plague. Trouble is, it’s in Mala territory, which we had no chance of getting into before tonight.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: And you think once we’ve found it, we might be able to take the pump handle off?

MAXINE MYERS: Maybe. And more importantly, with a sample from the source of the plague, there’s a chance my contact can synthesize a cure. One of their messages told me that they’ve got access to an advanced lab, but they can’t do anything until they know where the plague came from.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: I see the first Mala checkpoint ahead. Two sentries dressed in red. Even in a ceasefire, it seems they are still on their guard.

MAXINE MYERS: We can’t risk them identifying you. We need to sneak past. Quinzi, take the lead. Stick to the shadows, and move quickly. Run!

~

MAXINE MYERS: I can see the Doge’s palace ahead.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: It’s all illuminated with candles and colored lanterns. Fire breathers, acrobats, and this music... I... I think I recognize it.

MAXINE MYERS: The Mala certainly made themselves at home. They’ve only had this territory for a few months.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Who controlled it before?

MAXINE MYERS: No one knows. The Mala moved in with very little resistance. I think this is where the plague started, a well in the center of the courtyard. We’ll need to blend into the party and get a water sample without anyone noticing.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: I don’t like this...

MAXINE MYERS: You are doing great, Frances. We’re almost at the well.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: No, it’s not that. Doesn’t this feel familiar to you guys?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The Venice Carnival has starred in many a film over the years.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: No, you don’t understand. I’m so sure I’ve heard this music before. If I can just get a closer listen...

MAXINE MYERS: Frances!

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Quickly! Quinzi, hide Frances! That dancer knocked her mask clean off!

REVELER: It’s her, the interloper!

MAXINE MYERS: It’s too late. Back the way we came, now!

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Not possible. Mala thugs have blocked the entry.

MAXINE MYERS: The other way then, under the arches, into the palace. Run!

~

FRANCES DEMPSEY: We’re inside the palace, but the Mala are right behind us. Now where?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: There, a metal door at the bottom of those stairs. If we slip inside before our pursuers arrive, they may not realize where we’ve gone.

[metal rattles]

MAXINE MYERS: Just kick it, Quinzi. [metal bangs, hinges creak] Everybody in.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The Mala have run past. We remain hidden.

MAXINE MYERS: They’ll check that door sooner or later. We need to keep moving.

MOHAMME BOUJETTIF: Where are we?

MAXINE MYERS: I think this might be the old prison. I know it’s beneath the Doge’s palace. Frances, are you all right?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: I don’t know what came over me. I’m so sorry. I felt like I’ve seen it all before, but... Uh, never mind. Can we please keep moving? This place is giving me the creeps. Also, are you seeing lights ahead, Quinzi, or am I officially losing my mind?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: If you are, I’m joining you in madness. This prison should be a shell, derelict, and long-abandoned, but... I see work benches. Are those Bunsen burners? I believe we’re running through a laboratory!

MAXINE MYERS: A hidden laboratory right under the well that’s the source of the plague? It’s got to mean something.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Perhaps our answer lies ahead of us, and with our enemies behind, I suggest we all make haste!

~

MAXINE MYERS: This underground lab goes on forever. What were they doing?

FRANCES DEMSPEY: And why all these cells? Some of them look like part of the original architecture, but... Hey, I think there’s someone in there. Hello? [metal slams, zombie growls, chains clink, FRANCES gasps] Oh, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s a zombie. I can deal with zombies, especially when they’re locked up. Look, it’s wearing a lab coat. But can you see, Quinzi? It’s got this horrible oily green goo leaking out of its eyes.

MAXINE MYERS: It could be the plague. In its later stages, patients show greenish-black veins all over their face and lymph nodes. Most of them die soon after. The bodies are cremated to prevent further infection. We might be looking at the post-mortem stage.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Over here. I believe I may have found something. A telegram. “Stage one infection completed. Withdraw and observe.”

MAXINE MYERS: I was right. This is the source. I guess that’s my area of expertise these days, the zombie virus and other plagues. [laughs] Talk about a specialism you never wanted. But then... How did they get it in the water?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Over there, pipes leading upward. The well is above here, right? And there’s a huge container of that sickly green goo feeding into the pipes. We found your water pump, Maxine!

MAXINE MYERS: That’s not all. Look at the initials.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: V. Of course.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Again, he marks his gruesome handiwork. An egoist of repulsive proportions!

MAXINE MYERS: Frances, help me disconnect this pipe. It’s probably too late, but let’s stop any more of this stuff getting into the water. Quinzi, get a sample of that goo and let’s get out of here.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Wait, is that... It looks like mold growing in the tank. A horrible sickly green mold. Get some of that, too, Quinzi. [metal creaks and bangs, zombies growl] The cell doors have all opened. It must have been triggered when we touched the pipes!

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: An undead fail-safe. There are dozens of them! White lab coat, barely decayed, weeping that pustulent ooze!

MAXINE MYERS: Mo, behind you. Quinzi, it’s about to grab him!

[zombie growls, splatters]

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: A most inventive use of the spectrometer, Quinzi. Thank you.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: They’re swarming the lab!

MAXINE MYERS: We can’t go back the way we came, the Mala will be waiting. Our only choice is to go deeper into the tunnels. Run!

~

FRANCES DEMPSEY: We can’t seem to lose those zoms!

MAXINE MYERS: We did lose our way, though. All those tunnels look the same.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Wait, are you hearing this?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Music. We must be getting close to the surface!

FRANCES DEMPSEY: It’s the same music from the party. The same song, echoing all over the city. I know this music. Like Alice singing when we were kids, like... something in my bones. The music, the dancers with their grinning masks... I remember now! It reminds me of the dreams I had when I lived in the Far Hebrides. Maxine, do you think the plague is connected to the Red God?

MAXINE MYERS: I don’t know how it could be. This isn’t the zombie virus. There’s no red fungus in Venice.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: But there was mold growing in the tanks that held the plague. I have a sample here. And molds are a form of fungus.

MAXINE MYERS: Well, we’ll have to worry about it later. For now, we need to follow the music. Just run.

~

MOHAMMED Through there! I can see a light.

MAXINE MYERS: It’s coming from up that ladder. It must be a sewer hatch in the street. We can make it. Quickly! Give me your hand, Quinzi. Mo, get the hatch ready to shut behind us.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: There.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: We’re alive! We made it out!

MAXINE MYERS: I can’t thank you enough. Now that we have found the source of the plague, you can take it to my contact. They can finally start working towards a cure. They’re based somewhere in the Alps. They said they’d have a car waiting for you at the edge of the city with a map inside.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: A vehicle waiting for us and not for you? But surely you will accompany us, Dr. Myers.

MAXINE MYERS: No, I won’t. I can’t leave Venice. Look, we’re clear of the Mala. I think it’s time to unmask.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Your face! Maxine, what are those marks? Those green-black veins?

MAXINE MYERS: I started getting sick just before you arrived. Fever, joint pain. The more visible symptoms came slower. The veins appeared last night. We know Valmont infected people through the water, but there’s a chance the plague itself is infectious in its later stages. I-I can’t risk leaving.

FRANCES DEMSPEY: You should have told us.

MAXINE MYERS: It would have just distracted you, and with what we’ve found today? If you can get to my contact, maybe you’ll be able to save me. And if not me, a lot of other people.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Frances and I will fly like birds to find this contact. Faster! We won’t fail you, Dr. Myers.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: No. Sorry. It doesn’t take two of us to carry that plague sample, and you’ll be faster without me anyway, Mo. I’m staying.

MAXINE MYERS: Frances!

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Look, I’m not a runner or a thief or a genius who solved the zombie plague like you, Maxine. But I worked on Dearg for a long time. If anyone knows the red fungus, it’s me. Or whatever other sort of fungus we’ve got going on here. This is where I need to be.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Are you quite sure, my friend?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Yes. I’m at least going to stay until the fresh water runs out. And then, well, you’ll have brought a cure by then, right, Mo?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: You have told me many tales of your sister, Frances. I know you don’t want to live in her shadow, but I feel she would be proud. Take care of each other. I will use the escape route you’ve prepared, Maxine, and I will cross rivers, fields, and mountains to bring you back a cure. On this, you have my word!

~

[splashing footsteps]

ZOE CRICK: Thanks for coming with me, Five. Sorry it’s all drizzly and muddy. You don’t mind me just calling you Five rather than Canton Five, do you? Well, obviously not. That’s what I’ve always called you. It’s only... Since Abel Five and all the rest went missing, people have started getting a bit emotional about it.

I know Amelia’s been running you ragged. She’s been running herself ragged, too. I’m not even at Abel, and nothing feels right with all of them gone. Amelia says she’s going to find them, and let’s be honest, she always gets what she wants. But this time just seems different.

Brent Valmont wasn’t who I expected to hear from when Phil and I opened up the lines for a call-in today. Amelia says he’s a terrible person, which is incredible, coming from Amelia. But I don’t see how telling us about a lost shipping container full of rare animals could be part of some nefarious plot.

So I thought you and I could pick them up, Five. If they’re cute, maybe we can bring them in for the kids in our mental health support group. And if they’re not cute... highly unlikely. They’d have to be hissing cockroaches or something. Whatever they are, it’s going to be better than those otters we tried. I don’t think Sam will ever forgive us for the mess they made of his hoodie collection. Although it’s his own fault for being so lazy with his laundry.

Oh God, I really miss them. Hold on. How is it that time? Valmont said he’d get someone to meet us at the beach five minutes ago. I hope it’s Jody. I barely get to see her, now she’s in charge of Abel. Come on, Five. Race you! Only don’t go too fast because I’m not actually a runner.

~

ZOE CRICK: Look, Five, up ahead, leaning against that half-rotten rowing boat on the beach. It isn’t Jody. Much too tall. Actually, I don’t recognize her at all, do you? Hello? Are you from Valmont?

SLAVA: Hello. Yes, I am. You must be Zoe. Mr. Valmont didn’t say you’d be bringing company.

ZOE CRICK: Oh, yes. This is Canton Five. Five, this is... Someone whose name I don’t know, sorry.

SLAVA: Miroslava. It’s Slava to my friends. Great to meet you, Five. And you, Zoe Crick, First Lady of the UK.

ZOE CRICK: [laughs] First Lady? Wait. [sighs] Let me just enjoy picturing Amelia’s face if she heard that. There’s only room for one first in Amelia’s life, and that’s Amelia.

SLAVA: [laughs] You’re funny. Not what I was expecting. Not the way Mr. Valmont described.

ZOE CRICK: Oh. He told you about me, did he? I didn’t actually think he knew who I was until he contacted us earlier.

SLAVA: [laughs] Are you kidding? He calls you “Amelia’s little side piece.”

ZOE CRICK: Mm. Lovely.

SLAVA: Because you’re sleeping with his wife. They are still married, aren’t they?

ZOE CRICK: Yeah, I suppose. Technically. Amelia says a zombie apocalypse is as good as a divorce.

SLAVA: Come on. Let’s move. The shipping crate is that way.

ZOE CRICK: So uh, who exactly are you? I mean, what do you do for Valmont?

SLAVA: I’m his Chief Executive Operative.

ZOE CRICK: That’s one of those titles that could mean absolutely anything.

SLAVA: [laughs] You’re right! Come on. The shipping container is on a sand bar. When the tide comes in, whatever’s inside it will drown. Let’s run!

~

ZOE CRICK: There they are, Five. Look, they’re birds. Just two of them, waddling up and down the sand bar, looking distraught. The tide’s already coming in. We’ll need to wade to get to them.

[splashing footsteps]

SLAVA: They’re big. Must be 20, 25 kilo. I don’t recognize the breed.

ZOE CRICK: I think I do... but that would be ridiculous. [birds coo and honk] Five, look at those beaks. Are they – are they dodos?

SLAVA: I don’t see why not.

ZOE CRICK: [laughs] Because they’re extinct! This is so weird. I mean, awesome, obviously. Look at their cute fluffy faces! But what on earth are two dodos doing in a shipping container off the British coast? Never mind. Let’s just catch them first. Move nice and slowly, Five. We don’t want to spook them. [water splashes, bird honks] Oh my God! Slava, look out!

SLAVA: [shouts] Get off me, you disgusting thing!

ZOE CRICK: One on the left, Five! It’s trying to headbutt Slava.

SLAVA: Thanks for the assist, Five! Now hold it still while - [bird honks] Dammit! It’s going for Zoe’s leg with its beak.

ZOE CRICK: With its massive beak! Massive and actually quite sharp.

SLAVA: We have to get away from them.

ZOE CRICK: Oh my God, they’re chasing after us. The one on the left looks literally murderous. Why did no one ever tell me dodos were this aggro?

SLAVA: Oh well. We tried.

ZOE CRICK: What are you talking about? We’re still going to rescue them, even if they are absolutely horrible. Maybe we can let them chase us back to New Canton, then we can get more runners to help us round them up?

SLAVA: The things you Brits waste resources on.

ZOE CRICK: Not an animal lover, then?

SLAVA: They’re all just meat on legs to me.

ZOE CRICK: If you try to eat one of my cats, I would have to kill you.

SLAVA: Don’t worry. Not enough flesh on the bone, barely a mouthful. Mr. Valmont always says, “Make sure the prey is worth the hunt.”

ZOE CRICK: Oh no. Zombies heading our way. They’re all rotted and waterlogged. The flesh is falling off in lumps. We need to steer the dodos away from them.

SLAVA: Okay. Let the dodos almost catch us, and... Uh, yes. That’s it. Now speed up, but curve your run towards those rocks.

ZOE CRICK: It’s working. They’re following us, and I know the caves up ahead. They should bring us out between Abel and Canton. Come on, Five!

~

SLAVA: Almost at the caves, now.

ZOE CRICK: The dodos are still following us. Also, the zoms.

SLAVA: Those birds are fast! Weren’t they supposed to be slow and docile?

ZOE CRICK: Yeah, but our records come from the colonizers who eventually killed them off. Hardly unbiased.

SLAVA: [chuckles] That’s the beauty of winning. You get to write the history. Come on, into the caves. We should be able to lose the zoms in here.

ZOE CRICK: Those zoms aren’t letting up. We can’t seem to shake them.

SLAVA: Sure we can! You see that pothole up ahead? Wide and very deep.

ZOE CRICK: You’re not thinking of a McShell?

SLAVA: When in Rome.

ZOE CRICK: But I thought you weren’t meant to do them in odd-numbered groups.

SLAVA: Every rule was made to be broken. I’ll take the left-hand passage, you and Five take the right. I’ll meet you at the exit nearest to New Canton. No time to argue. Here they come! Go, go, go!

~

[splashing footsteps]

ZOE CRICK: Slava? Slava?

SLAVA: [radio crackles] Zoe, Five?

ZOE CRICK: Maybe the rock’s blocking her signal. Hopefully she’s made it through. Can you see the dodos, Five? I should have made sure they were following us. These caves are pretty twisty and turny, but I think the exit we want is at the end of this passage. Oh, that’s not good. The way out’s blocked by a huge rock. [struggles] It won’t budge. But that can’t be right! Phil and Layla were down here rockpooling the other day. They never mentioned this!

[zombies growl]

Oh, brilliant! Some of the zoms must have evaded the McShell. Oh, I knew we shouldn’t have tried it in a three! You heard me say that, right, Five? [water pours] Jesus, and now the water’s rising! Phil said these caves flood fast at high tide. Why am I only remembering that now? No. I refuse to survive the zombie apocalypse only to drown to death a few miles from my own front door! There should be another way out further down. Come on, Five!

~

ZOE CRICK: Five, I’m sorry. Can you give me a hand over this rock? I can’t feel my feet anymore. The water’s up to my waist. Why won’t it stop rising? I’m so sorry, Five. What a ridiculous way to die, chasing after 50-pound extinct birds. 50-pound extinct birds with, it turns out, awful personalities. Amelia’s going to be furious. I think... I think I want to call her now.

AMELIA SPENS: [static] Zoe, for the last time, we are not dressing up as Jawas for Halloween! If we must go as Star Wars characters, I’ll be Kylo Ren and you can be General Hux.

[ZOE CRICK laughs]

AMELIA SPENS: What’s up? What’s the matter?

ZOE CRICK: Know how you said I should never go on missions because I’m so rubbish at them?

AMELIA SPENS: I do recall. Where are you?

ZOE CRICK: Caves. Sea caves. I’m with Five. They’re filling up with water really, really fast.

AMELIA SPENS: [sighs] Sea caves is dazzling nonspecific. Where, exactly?

ZOE CRICK: Oh, um... Wait. I filed a mission plan with Nadia like you always tell me to. She’ll have a map.

AMELIA SPENS: [shouts] Jules, get a snorkel team prepped now. Coordinate with Nadia, she’ll tell you where to send them. Tell them to take two extra oxygen tanks. My idiot girlfriend is trying to drown herself. Go, now!

ZOE CRICK: You never call me that.

AMELIA SPENS: You’ll need to be my girlfriend if I’m going to play the grieving widow. Oh no, hang on. Life partner’s better. My life partner tragically passed away while for some reason prancing around a water hazard with my chief runner. That should be worth a few points in the polls.

ZOE CRICK: [laughs] Will you go into official mourning?

AMELIA SPENS: Black’s always suited me rather well, so yes. Zoe, why are you prancing around a water hazard rather than running a bath for me like I asked you to?

ZOE CRICK: You’re not allowed to be cross with me when I tell you.

AMELIA SPENS: I’m already cross with you!

ZOE CRICK: Dodos! I mean, we didn’t know it was dodos originally. Not that that would have made us any less likely to go. More likely, really.

AMELIA SPENS: Dodos?

ZOE CRICK: Valmont tipped us off about them.

AMELIA SPENS: Brent. Huh. Yes, I see. He would think it was funny, luring you to your death with an extinct animal.

ZOE CRICK: Can you... Can you tell Phil that I love him? I know I don’t say it enough, or really at all, but -

AMELIA SPENS: Zoe, stop being maudlin, you know I can’t abide it. I will get you out of this. [sighs] Five, you’re the professional, for heaven’s sake. Help her. We’ll be having words when you get back to New Canton.

ZOE CRICK: It’s not Five’s fault!

AMELIA SPENS: Save your breath. Just keep treading water, keep your arms and legs moving.

~

AMELIA SPENS: Five, Zoe, can you hear me? Zoe!

ZOE CRICK: I’m here. I’m here.

AMELIA SPENS: My scuba divers are 12 minutes out.

ZOE CRICK: Oh. Okay. So... How long after drowning can you resuscitate someone?

AMELIA SPENS: Up to 6 minutes.

ZOE CRICK: You were right. I’m such an idiot.

AMELIA SPENS: Don’t. This isn’t your fault. It’s mine! You’re only a target because of me. Sorry, Zoe.

ZOE CRICK: No. It’s all right. I always knew exactly what I was getting into with you, and I did it anyway!

AMELIA SPENS: More fool you.

ZOE CRICK: It’s been good though, hasn’t it?

AMELIA SPENS: I wouldn’t change a single minute, my darling. Except this one.

[explosion]

SLAVA: Zoe, Five?

AMELIA SPENS: What the hell was that?

ZOE CRICK: Slava, is that you? Amelia, the water’s draining. I think Slava’s blasted through the wall of the cave. We’ve got an escape route!

AMELIA SPENS: Who’s Slava when she’s at home?

ZOE CRICK: I’ve got to go. I’ll tell you when I get back. Amelia?

AMELIA SPENS: Oh, there you go. I knew you were making a big old fuss about nothing. I’ll see you both in New Canton. Expect a stern lecture! [radio clicks]

SLAVA: Zoe, Five, I’ve blown a hole in the cave wall. It’s about half a click down that tunnel. You need to get to it fast before the water refills.

~

[zombies growl]

SLAVA: Zoe, Five! Quick, into the Jeep before those zoms get you.

[door slams, engine revs]

ZOE CRICK: You’re a literal lifesaver. [bird squawks] Oh my God, and you got the dodos, too.

SLAVA: They found their own way out of the caves. Must have a better instinct for self-preservation than you.

ZOE CRICK: We thought you’d lost you there.

SLAVA: Ah, got turned around in the tunnels. Sorry for the radio silence. Guess my mic took a knock on the cave wall. I could still hear you, when you were uh, talking to Amelia. Used it as a locator beacon to find you.

ZOE CRICK: Oh, yeah. Um... I think I was losing it a bit.

SLAVA: It’s funny. Mr. Valmont says Amelia can’t possibly care about you at all, but that’s not true, is it?

ZOE CRICK: For certain definitions of “care.” When I first started seeing her, everyone thought I’d lost my mind. Especially Jody. Amelia framed her for murder once, and Jody’s never forgiven her. Which, to be fair, is pretty reasonable. But I suppose there must be a reason I’ve stayed with Amelia this long.

SLAVA: I like you, Zoe Crick. I think we should be friends. We can compare life lived in the shadow of great leaders.

ZOE CRICK: As long as you don’t mind me persuading you not to believe everything Valmont says.

SLAVA: [laughs] You can try. Come on. Let’s get you and Five back to New Canton. Amelia’s waiting.

~

ERNIE VAN ARK: Well, Ranger Five, that should be it, on the horizon. The base holding your namesake, Runner Five. A top secret Valmont facility in the Spanish desert. An entire prison dedicated to a single high-priority captive. That’s what it said in the intelligence we stole from Casablanca, but all I see is an Old West town. A single strip of wooden buildings. A saloon, a sheriff’s office. No signs of life.

I don’t know much about the American West, Five. They only had so many history texts on Red Scorpion Base. Sam once said they used to make cowboy movies in the Spanish desert. There must be old sets in this area. Sam knew a lot about movies. I hoped... one day I might get to watch some with him.

[Ranger Five’s implants whir]

Weeks of searching, Ranger. Weeks since we escaped Red Scorpion. All those Valmont decoys. The fake prison in Gibraltar. The false Fives in Tangier. This can’t be another dead end, it can’t be! What would the old me say, I wonder? Something megalomaniacal, I expect. I hear him sometimes in the night, Five, scolding foolish little Ernie for letting Valmont get ahead.

Valmont’s weakness is his flair for drama. That’s what the old Van Ark would say. His tendency for fancy. Just because he built a prison doesn’t mean it looks like one! See? Most of these buildings are wooden backdrops, but not the saloon. Its windows are all barred and sealed. Hiding a prison in plain sight surrounded by tumbleweed, that’s the sort of thing Brent Valmont would do!

You’d better get your implants ready for a fight. Runner Five’s imprisoned on that film set, I’d bet on it. It’s getting dark. We can use those wooden carts to cover our approach. Watch out for guards. There’s a hero waiting on our rescue. Run!

~

ERNIE VAN ARK: Here we are, Ranger Five. The saloon. It’s even got swinging doors. Sam’d love this, wouldn’t he? We’d best be careful. We don’t know what we’ll find inside, although... it’s strange we haven’t encountered a single guard yet.

[footsteps on creaking wood, piano plays]

I don’t understand. This place is deserted, but it’s certainly not a real saloon. Look at that thick metal door behind the self-playing piano. And the bar’s a computer terminal in disguise. [sighs] Hold on, I’ll hack the door. [computer zaps] Inside, Five. Quick!

[door opens, devices whir and hiss, chemicals bubble]

So much for the Old West. This is a laboratory! Centrifuges, robot arms, dissection tables, all fully automated. There! A cell door, in the corner. That must be where Runner Five is kept. Can you wrench it open? [implants whir, metal creaks, monitor beeps] A padded cell. One poor soul strapped to a gurney... Don’t worry, Runner Five, we’re here to - ! Oh. That’s... Not Runner Five.

PETER LYNN: Time for another robot checkup, eh, Brent? Got to top me up? Oh God! Oh, that’s Van Ark himself! That’s all I... [laughs] That’s all I need.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Peter Lynn! He’s unconscious. So many tubes connected to him. The immortal! He’s the priority prisoner, not Runner Five! [discordant piano chord, alarm blares] Damn! Can you carry Peter, Five? [implants whir] Please try not to hurt him when you unhook the tubes. There’s a back exit past the fume cupboards. Must lead up into the hills. We’ve got to get him out of here. Come on, Five!

~

[alarms blare in the distance]

ERNIE VAN ARK: Alright, Five. We’re out of the immediate danger zone. These hills and gullies will give us cover, but security can’t be far away. There must be guards somewhere. We need to keep moving. How’s our patient faring? Can you hear me, Peter?

PETER LYNNE: [gasps] Cold... So cold. Oh... no, no, no! Take me back!

[cloth rustles, metal clanks]

ERNIE VAN ARK: Don’t struggle, Peter, you’ll hurt yourself. Here, take my coat. [rocks clatter, zombies growl] What was that? A hand reaching out of the ground right where my foot was a moment ago. Zombies! Another one. Careful, Five. That one almost got your leg. We need to get Peter out of here before they surface fully. Quickly, run!

[footsteps in gravel]

PETER LYNN: What’s going on? Van... Van Ark? No, you can’t have me.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Keep a good hold on him, Five.

PETER LYNN: Get your metal monstrosity off me. I can’t be here! Jenny needs me.

[cloth rustles, metal clanks]

ERNIE VAN ARK: You won’t be doing anything for anyone if those zombies get you. Now, where have they gone? [rocks clatter, zombies growl] Up ahead, Five, clawing their way out of the ground. They must have burrowed under us. No time to evade them, Ranger. We’ll have to take them out. Put Peter down and fire.

[implants whir, zombies splatter]

Thank you, Five. These must be a variant of our Tunisian zombies. [footsteps] Oh no, Peter’s running away! I didn’t think he was well enough. He’s in no state to fend for himself out here. We need to get after him. Come on, Five!

~

ERNIE VAN ARK: Another Old West film set, and nothing but scrubby desert all around. Peter must be hiding in there. Keep your sensors hot, Five. [devices whir] There, slumped against that stagecoach. The adrenaline must have worn off finally. Peter, please do listen to me. We’re here to rescue you. Well... maybe that wasn’t the initial intention, but it’s certainly what we intend to do now. You have to stop running away! Let Ranger Five help you.

PETER LYNNE: [laughs] Your oversize Roomba can just keep its distance! I have had enough robotic hands inserting things in me for a lifetime! There are only so many curative substances one man can take, even me!

ERNIE VAN ARK: Curative substances?

PETER LYNNE: Which one was your favorite, Ernie? The one that blistered every inch of skin on my body? Or what about the projectile vomiting? Or – or that one where all my blood vessels ruptured at once, leaving me clinically dead for a week?

ERNIE VAN ARK: Peter, these experiments, these horrible experiments, they weren’t mine! I-I know what my other self did to you. Janine told me. I think it was the thing she was angriest about. But I’m not with Valmont. I was his prisoner, too! He destroyed the only homes I’ve ever known. Red Scorpion Base, my friends from Abel. He even killed Guillemette. And she was... kind to me, in her way. I saw him bragging about it in a Ranger’s files.

PETER LYNNE: I... don’t know what your game is. Maybe you are telling the truth, [laughs] I can’t tell! I think I lost touch with reality several experiments ago. You need to stop your walking Tonka truck stomping around like that. If you are who you say you are, I would get going while I still can.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Not without you.

PETER LYNNE: I have to say, [laughs] I’m surprised this latest batch is so mild. Uh, you know, I’ve had worse comedowns in abandoned warehouses in Manchester. Credit where it’s due, though, it certainly is... moreish.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Moreish? Has Valmont been injecting you with opiates? To make you dependent, I suppose.

PETER LYNNE: You know, a normal person’s first thought would have been to numb the pain.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Oh. Yes, I suppose it would.

PETER LYNNE: It doesn’t. Just FYI. Numb the pain, I mean. Oh, and as-as for the dependency, bit redundant if you ask me. Not like I have much choice but to stay here. [rock rumbles and clatters] Oh, [laughs] there’s my ride now.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Burrowing zombies, more this time! We need to move before the whole street gives way! [ground collapses] Peter, Ranger? Is everyone alright?

PETER LYNNE: Oh, yep, never better!

ERNIE VAN ARK: Fascinating! We’ve fallen into some kind of underground tunnel system.

[zombies growl]

PETER LYNNE: And we’re not the only ones.

ERNIE VAN ARK: There’s zombies breaking through the walls. I thought they had human hands, but they’re actually more like huge blunt claws.

PETER LYNN: This is no time to admire monster design, Van Ark. Listen, I don’t much care if you live, but assuming you do, I suggest you follow me. I’ve been here before... and I know a way out, but we need to go now.

ERNIE VAN ARK: You heard him, Five. Run!

~

PETER LYNNE: Looks like we’ve lost them for now.

ERNIE VAN ARK: A chamber in the tunnels filled with Old West memorabilia. A sheriff’s hat, a gun holster, a giant cow’s skull. Wait. Not all of these are animal bones. That’s a human tibia with some flesh still hanging off it. It looks like it’s been... gnawed! Peter, what is this place?

PETER LYNNE: Ah, it’s just a cavern.

ERNIE VAN ARK: A cavern with claw marks on the walls that are a perfect match for those mole-like zombies and pits in the ground filled with more half-eaten corpses. I think that one’s moving! This isn’t a cavern, it’s a larder!

PETER LYNNE: I suppose you could call it that.

ERNIE VAN ARK: You brought us here deliberately! You wanted to be caught!

PETER LYNNE: Well, what was I supposed to do, trust you? Ernie Van Ark, action hero? Oh, forgive me if I don’t buy that from the man who ended the world!

ERNIE VAN ARK: And you allied with him from what I’ve heard! Why am I irredeemable, but not you?

PETER LYNNE: I don’t know! Uh, maybe both of us are, uh... But I can’t leave. The way out’s over there. I’m going this way, into the belly of the beast. Follow me or don’t follow me. I don’t care.

~

ERNIE VAN ARK: There he is, Ranger. Just standing in the center of a huge chamber surrounded by decaying, half-eaten corpses. He looks utterly without hope. Peter, please -

[intercom squeals]

BRENT VALMONT: Petey, Petey, Petey. If you’re hearing this, it means you’ve tried to escape again.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Oh no.

PETER LYNNE: Don’t worry, it’s a recording. I don’t even rate live surveillance, apparently.

BRENT VALMONT: You remember the rules of La Prisión de la DeLuca, don’t you? You stay put and let me try out my samples on you and I don’t cut off Janine’s fingers one by one and make you listen to her screams. Got it? Good! Now you enjoy the zombies hospitality and I’ll have someone out to pick you up ASAP. ASAPish, anyway. Only fair to let my undead security team have a nibble after the trouble you’ve given them. Oh, and uh, don’t try this again! Third strike, and Janine really will be out. Ta-ra.

PETER LYNNE: Oh, I escaped once before, but the zombies caught me. They’ve got a slow-acting strain of the virus, so they don’t need to feed as ravenously as your normal zom. They just bury you in a pit and pull bits off whenever they fancy a snack. It was... Days before the extraction team arrived.

ERNIE VAN ARK: So Valmont says he has Janine, and you just... believe him?

PETER LYNNE: [laughs] What choice do I have? If there’s any chance I can keep her safe -

ERNIE VAN ARK: No.

PETER LYNNE: What do you mean, no?

ERNIE VAN ARK: I won’t allow it. We came here to rescue a friend and that’s exactly what we’re going to do. We can find Janine together. Runner Five, too.

PETER LYNNE: And if I don’t want to come, you’ll just kidnap me again, I presume.

ERNIE VAN ARK: No. If you stay, we stay, too.

PETER LYNNE: Oh great, very productive. We can all enjoy Brent’s lovely acid trips together!

ERNIE VAN ARK: Yes, except he won’t need you then, will he, if he has me? I can be his scientist and lab rat rolled into one. What do you think happens to you then? To Janine?

PETER LYNNE: You... [laughs] you wouldn’t.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Don’t presume to know what I would or wouldn’t do, Peter Lynne! You refuse to believe I’m on your side, so do you really want to risk Valmont getting his hands on me again? [zombies growl, rock clatters] Hundreds of burrowing zombies bursting out of every square foot of wall and ceiling. Decision time, Peter. Them or me.

PETER LYNNE: Alright, fine! That tunnel to the left, that’s the route Valmont’s men took the last time they hauled me out of here. It’s a safe passage to the surface. Follow me. Go, go!

~

[footsteps]

PETER LYNNE: [gasps] The surface. We’ve made it.

ERNIE VAN ARK: Keep running. These zombies tunnel at incredible speed. We’re not out of the woods yet. [zombie growls, rock clatters] To your left, Five! Claws bursting out of the ground.

PETER LYNNE: Up ahead, a whole line of them like an undead barbed wire fence!

ERNIE VAN ARK: We’ll have to jump them, then head for the river beyond. Ready, Ranger? 1, 2, 3, jump! [implants whir, footsteps, water flows] We’re over the river. Keep going!

PETER LYNNE: Wait! [laughs] Wait! [laughs] They’ve stopped following us.

ERNIE VAN ARK: The river must act as a natural boundary to their territory.

PETER LYNNE: Oh God... Oh God, what was I thinking? I can’t go on the lam with Van Ark! Janine...

ERNIE VAN ARK: Peter, you being locked up in that lab helps no one but Valmont. What do you think he’ll do to Janine once you’ve outlived your purpose, hmm?

PETER LYNNE: But when he finds out I’ve escaped -

ERNIE VAN ARK: Who’s going to tell him, the zombies? That message was prerecorded. He doesn’t know you’ve escaped yet. And he doesn’t expect you to actually try, not with Janine at stake. He won’t know you’re not in the zombies’ larder until he can get a recovery team out here. That will be two weeks at the earliest based on the map I’ve constructed of Valmont’s facilities. Find her before then, and Janine’s safe.

PETER LYNNE: All right... Say I trust you on that. What’s next? Do you even have a plan?

ERNIE VAN ARK: That recording, do you remember hearing anything in the background?

PETER LYNNE: I don’t know. Bird calls, maybe?

ERNIE VAN ARK: Several different species, if I’m not much mistaken. And more than that. There were waves, too, crashing against rock.

PETER LYNNE: So we’re looking for a seaside location that’s... popular with birdwatchers, or-or used to be?

ERNIE VAN ARK: There’s only one Valmont facility that matches those criteria. I’ve got the map here. Look, this island.

PETER LYNNE: Tabarca. That’s... really close. All right. Okay. I don’t know what Valmont’s drugs have done to me, or... how I’ll cope without them. But I can last until we get to Janine. I can free Jenny. And then nothing else matters.

~

[van creaks]

BRENT VALMONT: Alright, Five. Let’s hash this out. I really hate to show my temper, but you’ve left me no choice. Are you sitting comfortably in the back of that van? Got your Valmont headset tight? Good, because I know you’ll want to hear who I’ve got speaking next.

[tape recorder clicks]

SAM YAO: Five? Five, it’s me. It’s Sam. It’s going to be okay, Five. Everything’s going to be alright.

[tape recorder clicks]

BRENT VALMONT: Spoiler alert: it’s not.

[tape recorder clicks]

SAM YAO: Valmont said I have to tape this message. I... I don’t know how long it’s been since Tunisia. He showed me the footage of your last run to the Maghreb border. Oh, you were so fast, leaving the whole Red Scorpion Army behind! They never would have caught you... if he hadn’t have been waiting in that boat. Amelia always said we shouldn’t trust him. Of all the ways to find out she was right.

Valmont says he’s got a mission for you, Five. He showed me the brief. It’s just a simple item grab. I don’t have every detail, but nobody’s about, nobody gets hurt... and what they’ll do to you if you refuse... I think you have to do it, Five. Just this once, I think you have to do his run.

[tape recorder clicks]

BRENT VALMONT: I know you miss him, Five. I can see it on your face. Those Valmont headcams work both ways! So I’ll make this really simple for you. You turned down all my other jobs. The assassination in Bolivia, the firebombing in Berlin! But this one’s non-negotiable. Get it done within the hour or Sam loses a thumb.

[van door slides open]

Back of the trucks’ cracking open. Look at all that daylight spilling in! I know I’ve got you fighting mad, so let’s channel that rage! Down the ramp, full speed ahead, just follow the street, straight along the cobbles, under the big stone arches. Don’t think of it as helping me. Think of it as saving him. Here, I’ll even let Sam play you out!

[tape recorder clicks]

SAM YAO: It’ll be okay, Five. I know it will. Remember what Janine’s always saying? When things are at their darkest, a runner strikes a match. You keep the hope. No matter what, you keep that flame alive. And promise me, the first chance you get, promise me you’ll run.

~

[birds coo, wings flap]

BRENT VALMONT: Mind the pigeons, Five! But take in the sights! Italy, the Vatican, St Peter’s Square itself. Look at those grand colonnades on either side, the great Egyptian spire in the middle. Though the basilica’s looking a bit dowdy, isn’t it, the way the dome’s collapsed in? Head straight for its entrance, past the burned-out popemobile. It’s through those great big pillars where the tourists used to queue.

It’s been hard on landmarks, Five, the end of the world. The Eiffel Tower, Washington DC, poor old Red Square. Not exactly sitting pretty since Van Ark’s Armageddon did the renovators in. Oh, I know. I told you the apocalypse was mine. I didn’t mean it literally. It was Sigrid’s passion project, Van Arks’ silly plague. [sighs] He was such a stupid genius, wasn’t he? Took the blame for the disease to please that humorless wife of his. Invented immortality, but he couldn’t get the hang of spin.

ANNIE knew what they were planning, Five, long before it happened. I had her watching Sigrid, Van Ark, Moonchild, too. You don’t become a billionaire without probing your rivals. We caught their little scheme to end the world, and yes, I could have stopped it, it’s true, but I know a bargain when I see one. The whole world on fire sale! I’m not the one made the end, but I like to think I’m who it’s for.

[door clatters open] This is a grand old entrance, isn’t it? That distant gilded ceiling, the sunswept marble floor. All those saintly statues watching with white eyes. [building creaks] Careful! Sidestep to your left. The ceiling isn’t stable. Some of it’s coming down.

You, me, mortal peril! It’s just like the old times, eh? Admit it, I was quite the charmer, running with your Abel crew. You were all so wonderfully obliging. I always needed Sigrid gone, and V-types can be a pain, but I never lied about it being a good time, Five. As far as handy decoys go, your lot were the best.

See that body, beneath the fallen pillar? That’s Valmont Runner Sixty-Four. Last one in before you. I warned her that this mission was a risk, but still, she volunteered! It’s amazing, the loyalty people give you in a post-apocalyptic world. So much for so little. You dig them out of burning rubble, offer them beans and a bed, and suddenly their life is yours. I used to run orphanages on the same principle. Shame my finest runner’s busy on assignment. She’d have at least survived the masonry, unlike poor old Sixty-Four.

I know what you’re thinking, Five. How many have gone in ahead of you? Oh, I’ve lost count! There’s something I need in that city, something hard to find, but you’ve got an advantage. You’ve seen it before. We just need to be careful, with all that panacea in your blood. My doctors have been draining what, a pint of plasma at a time over the last few months? That’s plenty of samples. Your body’s a little panacea factory now, thanks to that injection you stole! But we’ve got big ambitions. Things will go much smoother if they can harvest a whole lot more!

[building creaks] Better get a move on, Five! That building really doesn’t like my people. The ceiling almost sounds upset! Turn right at the papal altar, take the tour guide passage to the Sistine Chapel. And ignore the fallen runners up ahead. There’s no point dwelling on them, Five. There’s no profit counting the dead.

~

BRENT VALMONT: Look up at the ceiling, Five! Soak that culture in. The Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo’s masterpiece! All those gorgeous frescoes painted on the walls. Saints, sinners, serpents. And Adam, on the ceiling, about to high five God! [sighs] I was planning to steal this, but ANNIE says it wouldn’t survive the airlift. [sighs] Follow the frescoes down the corridor, the one with all the maps. Try to find an open window. You need to get outside.

Moonchild used to say my collections were “bad karma,” that it was wrong to try to cage the world. This, from Lady Mind Control. She reminded me of my mother, Five. Ghastly, hippy-drippy woman. Stole my father’s fortune, frittered it on “charity.” Said the world was full of wonders, but not a single one was ours! A thing’s not beautiful until you own it, that’s the dirty, ugly truth. Knowing something might be taken is a spoiling blemish. I used to tell Amelia that. Maybe when I take her world, she’ll learn.

It’s hard to find people who understand, Five. I wake up every morning with this screaming hunger in my heart, the torture of ambition. No matter what I have, no matter who I own, I know I can do better. It’s like an engine in my belly. I know I can own more!

There, an open window. Climb out to the courtyard, quick! Have you heard much lately from that Moonchild in your head? I bet you haven’t. Maybe my panacea killed her. Maybe she’s finally dead. The Cortile del Belvedere A pope once paraded his elephant here. That’s my kind of style! Just parked cars and a broken fountain now. See that big beige building over there? That’s the Vatican library with the Apostolic Archives next door. Those archives hold the secret storeroom of the Catholic church, and what we want’s inside.

[laughs] I know what you’re hoping, Legs. You think my wife will come and save you, Amelia and the rest. But the truth is, they’re not even in the game. I’ve got decoys with your shirt on from Peru to Paraguay, corpses with your DNA slung into shallow graves. I’ve got moles in the Maghreb, spies in the UK. I’ve got Amelia spun in circles, always looking the wrong way.

Sigrid, Van Ark, Moonchild, they were all small fry. Couldn’t even keep their Armageddon to a timetable. ANNIE didn’t expect their gray plague to get loose so soon. I wasn’t quite ready to put the Ministry straight down. But I was miles ahead in stockpiling, and I’ve had eons to prep since. I knocked down half the satellites, razed the global village. No more cheap communications, no calling distant ears for help. The market should be nice and manageable, survivors stuck in isolated pockets. I’ve got bases like Red Scorpion all over the world, allies in armies you’ve never heard. I know what happened to the last aircraft carrier, why zombies scream on roads. I am a one-man superpower. Your friends don’t have a chance!

Uh-oh! Zombie priests crawling out of the cars, and those look like Swiss Guards lurching from the buildings, the elite protectors of the Vatican with feathered caps and halberds high. Well, that one’s got halberd sticking through his chest, but what can you expect from zoms? They’re closing in behind you, still guarding the library even in death. There’s a car crashed through the archive wall. That’s your way inside. Get into that building, then down to the basement. Do not let them catch you! Go!

~

BRENT VALMONT: That’s it, Five. Keep going straight. They call this part of the archive the Bunker, where the most precious texts are kept. Frankly, I’m disappointed. I expected flaming torches, spotlights, demons dancing around the Holy Grail, not just endless dusty bookshelves. [zombie growls] Careful, there are zombies crushed together between some of those shelves. Stay clear of the books. Their arms are clawing out between them.

Do you know what the worst part of this church is, Five? It’s that it isn’t dead. There’s a whole new pope in Istanbul readying teams to nab these treasures, and they’re not the only holdouts. There are still rabbis, and imams, Buddhist monks, Mormons, Quakers, Sikhs. People who believe in gods, or hope, or just each other, joining hands to cope. Little groups like Abel brightening the dark.

It makes me so damn angry! It’s... not the apocalypse I bought! I wanted Mad Max, the Walking Dead, the first bit of The Road! Ruins, misery, hopeless dread, and I’d swoop in with my hoarded cans and lift the peons up, have them rebuild in my image, grateful for the helping hand. ANNIE predicted overwhelming collapse, once the dust settled. You were supposed to get nuked offing Sigrids or implode like Sage. Those Last Riders had the right idea, until they turned V-type. But no, you had to flourish, didn’t you? All over the world. The groups that defy the odds. The Maghreb, Arcadia, Abel, Vashisht. That galling, glowing 1% like aniseed in the stew!

There, see that staircase behind the red cordon with a vault door in the bottom? That’s the hidden heart of this bunker. A room that’s not on any maps. If there were demons locked away, that’s where they’d be. It’s time for the big drum roll, Five. The reveal of why you’re here. Remember your trip to Moore Island, the [red god] and the cult? Amelia never let me read the Edda, but the church has another copy hidden in their vault. Moonchild stole a partial transcript before they upped security. My runners don’t know what it looks like, but you’ve seen it before.

[zombies moan] Damn! Coming up the stairs, are those - red robes and pointy hats. Oh no, lots of zombie cardinals, and they’re in your way. The others are closing in behind you, too. Swiss Guards, priests, tourists in backpacks. There’s no going back. Forward is your only shot. Those are halberds lying on the floor. The guards must have made a stand here. Quickly, pick one up. [metal clinks] You’re going to have to rush them straight down to the vault. I can hack the door with ANNIE. That blade looks blunt, but you can at least push them back. Move it, Five, get down the stairs! Not sure what a zombie bite will do with all those Valmont patents in your blood. Don’t let the cardinals grab you. Run!

~

[door clatters open]

BRENT VALMONT: Now this is more like it! Big, oblong chamber full of sealed glass cases. Ancient scrolls, mysterious parchments. No sign of the Holy Grail, but I bet it’s around here somewhere. Find my Edda, Five. You don’t have much time.

[alarm blares]

This room is pumped full of an inert gas to preserve the relics. We don’t have the proper codes. I can’t hold it open long. See those dead runners on the floor? They all thought they’d find my prize, and they all died choking anyway. Funny thing, Five. None of them blamed me. Now that’s lasting ownership, the kind that leaves them dying but still feeling the love.

Aha, you’ve spotted something. The big tome on the plinth. Smash the casing and grab it! Use that halberd, now! [glass breaks, alarm beeps, zombies growl] Those zoms are pouring in behind you, they’re blocking the way out. There’s another vault door straight ahead, right across the archive. Move it, Five, and hold the Edda tight! If you die of oxygen deprivation, Sam’s the one I’m sending in there next. Speed up, before the door snaps shut. Run!

~

[birds caw, wings flap]

BRENT VALMONT: You did it, Legs! You’re clear of the archive and clear of the Vatican, footloose on the streets of Rome. And you’ve got my Edda. Oh, I know what you’re thinking. Yes, you could destroy it, tear it up and run, but what would happen to poor Sam, and Janine, and Peter, too? That’s right.

[engine rumbles] My truck’s approaching. Drop the halberd, get inside. [metal clinks, van door slides open] There you go, Five. Straight into the back. I’ll see you get a raise for this. That means extra cushions in your cell!

The apocalypse hasn’t gone as planned, it’s true. But I’ve had a fix brewing for years. You pushed up my timeline with that scramble through Tunisia. I was worried we might not pull it off, but now I’ve got the panacea and the Edda. I’m all set for the apocalypse, take two.

The panacea, Five, that’s my little joke. You see, it is a cure, of sorts. The cure for all my ills. Soon, I won’t have any rivals. The whole world will be my orphanage. Amelia, Abel, and the rest, they’ll be swept away, or transformed, replaced by broken, helpless, loving people. Like Adam on the ceiling, Five. They’ll all be looking up... to me.

~

[water swirls]

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: “In the glare of the day, there is little poetry about Venice. But under the charitable moon, her stained palaces are white again.” I see now that Mark Twain was quite correct. A moonlit gondola ride across the Venice Lagoon has always been a dream of mine. My wife and I booked tickets only two months before the gray apocalypse. We never took that trip.

FRANCES DEMPSY: [gasps] Quinzi, stop rowing! I can hear a patrol boat.

[boat motor rumbles]

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: I believe we remain unobserved. Quinzi, you may resume your labor at the oar. We’re close now. I see the [?] of the Grand Canal.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: We got through because they’re looking in, not out. They’re only worried about stopping people leaving. They don’t think anyone would be mental enough to try to sneak into a plague city.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Indeed. We’re most lucky.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Is luck the right word?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Fortuna has favored us in one regard, at least. After months of fruitless searching, we have a lead to Runner Five’s location at last. And with Quinzi as our local guide, our visit should be brief.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: I wish we could do it all by gondola. People said they’ve got the zombie situation in Venice under control, but that could mean anything. And do we even know what this plague is?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Only that it’s almost invariably fatal. But the aquatic route isn’t possible, I’m afraid. In days past, the canals of Venice were home to a profusion rats. Today, it’s the restless dead who clog the waters.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: There, Quinzi. There’s a dock at the base of the stairs. [gondola bumps against dock, canal water splashes] Throw me the rope!

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Careful! Frances, Quinzi, the steps are slimed with weed.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Don’t worry, I never slip. Alice always said I was like a goat. At least, I think that’s what she meant. She might have just been telling me I needed deodorant.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Lead the way, Quinzi. The one we seek is at the far end of the canal. The mysterious Raven nests in the Giardini Reali, the Royal Gardens. We’re in Venice, a plague city ruled by unknown powers. I believe we should make haste.

~

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: This place is labyrinthine. We’d be lost without the map your band of thieves supplied, Quinzi.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: You call yourself the Magpies, right, Quin? Why does everyone in Venice name themselves after birds? And how do we know we can trust this Raven person? The message came through like, five different people before it reached us, and no one even agrees who the Raven is.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Indeed. A shoe seller in Istanbul was quite certain the Raven is a man of indeterminate but enormous age. An immortal, older than the city of Venice itself. A [?] assassin described a girl of twelve, a killer like himself, the most deadly of them all.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: That’s not ominous.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: They say the plague began with the Raven. Its first victim appeared the day after the arrival of that ill-omened bird. Of course, people have always blamed outsiders for their misfortune. And Venice has a shameful history in that regard. Did you know that the word ghetto had its origins here? It was the area of the city the government forced its Jewish inhabitants to live.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Yeah, we did the Merchant of Venice in school. Antonio was a dick.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: My feelings entirely. And I can tell by your face, Quinzi, that you feel the same.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: I don’t like it here. There’s something... wrong with this place.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: It’s sinking. The waters always clamored to reclaim it, and the apocalypse has hastened the process.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: It’s more than that. It’s the way the paint’s all flaking off the walls. The buildings are beautiful, but the stonework’s crumbling. It looks, I don’t know, decaying? Like it died a long time ago.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: But someone yet lives here. Two factions patrol the streets of Venice, keeping an uneasy peace, one by day and one by night. Neither is our friend. The Raven advised us to travel in that liminal time when powers change hands and Venice has no true master. Our window of opportunity is brief.

FRANCES DEMSPEY: You know the route the Raven sent us, don’t you, Quinzi? Let’s run.

~

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Oh, we’re back at the Grand Canal. I’ve got totally turned around. I think I can see... Up ahead, that covered bridge. Is that...?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The Rialto. It houses stone shops within its arches. Venice was a city built on commerce, and so it remains. Trade is the lifeblood of this place and the reason so many still make their home here.

FRANCES DEMSPEY: But who’s in charge? You said two factions.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: They are but parasites on the body politic! The gondoliers and their poisons roam during the day, while the Mala del Brenta patrol at night. Once, the Mala were a mere mafia. Now they’re said to traffic in far worse than drugs. But as for who rules? Venice has changed hands a dozen times since the apocalypse. Rumors are the King of Zagreb ran it at one time. The French warlord Jacques Le Renard claimed dominion for a year and two days. Now? Perhaps the city belongs only to itself.

GONDOLIER: Knives for sale, [?]. Knives, knives for sale!

FRANCES DEMSPEY: The gondola! I guess the changeover hasn’t happened yet. Quick, under this bridge. Hide in the shadows.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: There are three women in that boat. One to row, one to cry their wares, the third has a knife! She’s using it to sever the hands.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: The hands!

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Grasping for the boat out of the water. Bloated and white in death, the flesh half-peeled away. The dead seeking company in their watery grave.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Glad we didn’t try to row in. Look, the boat’s tying up. They’re getting out.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The time of the gondoliers draws to a close, and the hour of the Mala approaches. We must hurry!

~

FRANCES DEMPSY: It’s so silent. I know there are people living here. Up there, see? Eyes watching us from the window. But there’s no one on the streets.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: We’ve traveled broadly, you and I, in our quest for Five. A sighting in Budapest that was nothing but smoke and mirrors. A trail running through the warring cantons of the Alps. Helpless people pulled from danger by a nameless benefactor. No trace of them remained. We’ve visited pirate archipelagos and a warlord’s palace, but Venice is more dangerous than all of them.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: I heard Amelia the last time you spoke to her. She sounded really worried, for Amelia. Actually, not even just for Amelia.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: She’s followed many fruitless leads in the search for Five, made many painful deals for information that proved of little value.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: We’ve all tried so hard for nothing. If we need to take risks to finally get an answer, I don’t care. It’s worth it. [flies buzz] Ugh, that’s horrible! Quinzi, watch out. There’s a pile of corpses in the middle of the road. They’ve just been... thrown there, like chucking out the rubbish!

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Only recently deceased. Their skin is covered in lumps, buboes.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Buboes? Like... Bubonic plague?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: More yellow in color, with a curious purple marking in their center. It’s almost like a letter.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Don’t get too close. Could infect you. [distant shout] Where did that come from?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: One of the arms in that pile of corpses is twitching. A leg is kicking out.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Are they zombies, or... God. People just left them here to die?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: We cannot stay to find the answer. Quinzi, lead on!

~

[bell rings]

BELL RINGER: Portate fuori i vostri morti!

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The bell-ringer and his companions are entering a crumbling palazzo, no doubt to collect the bodies of more unfortunates. From the charnel smell, I believe that’s their wagon up ahead.

FRANCES DEMSPEY: Ugh, it’s full of decapitated heads. They’re still alive! I mean, dead-alive. Their teeth are snapping.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Lacking their spines, they shouldn’t be capable of movement.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: V-types do that, though. You have to disassemble them into basically atoms before they stop moving. But there shouldn’t be any V-types outside the UK.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Perhaps the plague creates them.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: That’s... That’s a really bad thought. I can see people on the other side of the canal. I think they’re having dinner. There’s a white tablecloth and candles and everything. Who does that on the side of a canal full of corpses?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Italians.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: It’s my fault, you know. Five being missing, everyone being captured. It’s all my fault.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: I hardly think that’s true.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: They told me not to come. They never wanted me on the mission to Tunisia. They knew I’d be a liability, but I wanted to be part of the team. [sighs] I wanted to be as valuable to them as Alice was. And because I was there, it all went wrong! I’m a jinx.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: I believe in many things, Frances. I believe our spirit survives us after our death, and that a higher power guides the turning of the ages. But I will never believe that an innocent young woman, acting from love and with courage, is responsible for so much ill luck. No. There is some other force working against us, some malevolence that hasn’t yet shown its face.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: What if it is the Raven?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Then we’ve made a very serious mistake. Alas, we have no choice but to see it to its end. There, do you see? On the balcony of that half-destroyed house, figure in feathered carnival masks watching us. They are the Mala. We’re on their territory, uninvited. If they catch us, they will kill us.

~

FRANCES DEMPSEY: I can hear them following us, but I can’t see them. [distant shouts] Oh God, what’s that?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The Mala’s hunting call, or...

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Or what?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Another variant of the undead, perhaps unique to these shores. Who knows what strange and terrible forms the virus may have taken in such a place as this?

FRANCES DEMSPEY: I can smell them, I think. It’s not like normal zom smell. It’s almost... Sweet?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: There are many mysteries to unravel here. Our challenge is to live to unravel them.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: What are you even doing here, Mo? You could have put me on a boat back to England and gone home to your wife. This isn’t your fight.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: I made a promise to Miss Spens that I’d see her people safe. My word is my bond. No true currency remains in this world except that.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: You’re a good man, Mo.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: One could ask for no higher praise!

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Look, over there, past the narrow marble bridge. Is that someone wearing a bird mask? The Raven, it must be!

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: A plague doctor’s mask, of course!

FRANCES DEMPSEY: They’re pointing left. What does it mean?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Ah! Ah, a narrow alley between buildings, hidden in shadow. We would have run straight past it!  I believe the Raven means for us to take it!

FRANCES DEMPSEY: What if it’s a trap? What if it leads us straight to the Mala? Maybe that was the whole point of bringing us here.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: We have quite literally no other option. Follow our masked friend’s directions. Quinzi, run!

~

FRANCES DEMPSEY: There, at the end of the street. The person in the plague mask, the Raven. They’re waiting for us the other side of the bridge. They’re beckoning. But we’ve got the Mala or the zombies or whatever they are right behind us.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Ah, no! I understand now. The bridge is wooden, do you see? And there is some sort of mechanism. I believe it’s a drawbridge. We merely have to make it across and our safety is ensured. It appears the Raven was indeed attempting to aid us. It’s a balm to the soul to find such an honor in this fallen world.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Come on, Quinzi! Last burst of speed. We did it! We’re safe.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Not until we raise the drawbridge. Quinzi, you could take the other side.

[drawbridge mechanism clanks]

FRANCES DEMPSEY: That’s creepy. The sound just... Stopped. Are they really gone?

THE RAVEN: The hunt’s over. They won’t bother me here. We have, uh... An understanding.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Is that...? No, it can’t be!

THE RAVEN: Oh, let me take this damn thing off. Oh, I can hardly breathe up here! [sighs] It’s so good to see you, Frances!

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Maxine!

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Our missing doctor. We have come here in search of one lost companion, and found quite another.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: How did you get here, and what are you doing? Do you really know where Five is? Do you know how to rescue the others?

MAXINE MYERS: One question at a time, please! I don’t know it all, Frances, but I have found out a few things. Venice may be a hellhole, but a lot of information finds its way here. There is so much for me to tell you, and so much for us to do.

~

AMELIA SPENS: What do you mean, Red Scorpion is gone? Well, satellite images aren’t good enough! I need minions on-site telling me what’s going on. Yes, it certainly would make sense to use Mr. Boujettif, except for the very small problem that he’s on an entirely different continent, which you would know if you read the morning briefing documents. I don’t care that they’re 50 pages long, Paul. That’s the job. And while we’re at it, my breakfast Moët was lukewarm this morning. Yesterday, it was Prosecco. I didn’t become PM to drink second-rate champagne knock-offs. Right, Jody.

JODY MARSH: Nice of you to join us, Amelia. Sorry if we’re interrupting your very important call. You know, by turning up to the rendezvous with New Canton Five you arranged. Also, why did it have to be Canton Five? No offense, Five. It’s just dead weird running with a different Five when the real Five’s missing. I mean, you’re not even the original Canton Five.

AMELIA SPENS: Excuse me for thinking you might find it comforting. This Five’s nauseatingly heroic too, if that helps. Also, I do so enjoy watching you froth with anger, Jody. It’s very stimulating.

PAULA COHEN: What’s going on, Amelia? You said it’s to do with our missing people. Is there some news about Maxine?

AMELIA SPENS: Not precisely.

PAULA COHEN: Oh. I thought... I thought I’d have something to tell Sara. She’s been having nightmares. Are you even looking for them? Or have you just written them all off?

AMELIA SPENS: Of course I haven’t. If Janine and the real Five were here, I wouldn’t have to rely on idiots like Paul to run my security service. I was hoping to appoint Sam as head of AmeliaCom, and there are some very interesting experiments I want to run on Peter. Frances, I could leave or take, if I’m honest. But in point of fact, I do have news. Not about Five, who remains frustratingly elusive. But two weeks ago, the Maghreb Protectorate offered to send us a message from their “honored guests.”

PAULA COHEN: Two weeks ago? And you didn’t tell us?

AMELIA SPENS: I don’t trust the Maghreb. Not since they got it into their heads that we stole this panacea from Red Scorpion Base. I’m not convinced the Maghreb didn’t steal it themselves and blame us. I needed to be sure the offer wasn’t some sort of trap.

JODY MARSH: And?

AMELIA SPENS: We’ll see, won’t we? They’ve arranged for someone to meet us at the duck pond in Barton in... Goodness, five minutes. I have been gabbing on, haven’t I? Chop chop, Canton Five. Show them the way.

~

JODY MARSH: We’ve reached the duck pond, but there’s no one here. I mean, apart from a few mallards.

AMELIA SPENS: Well, that is disappointing. I had to reschedule my hot stone massage for this.

PAULA COHEN: No wait, what’s that floating in the center of the pond? It looks like a document case. Canton Five, can you reach? [water splashes, case clicks] Oh, it’s just a scribbled note. [paper rustles] It says, “Go to the statue of Thomas Gainsborough in Marfield Lestone. Await further instructions.” Amelia, are you playing games with us? Because if you are, it’s terribly cruel.

AMELIA SPENS: Someone’s playing games, but it’s not me. I wasn’t going to mention it, but a V-type’s been spotted near Marfield. Terrible nuisance. The whole area’s evacuated, and my anti-gray berets are tied up dealing with a minor hoard in Chiswick. I did think I had the undead situation in hand. It was the one campaign promise of mine that I actually intended to keep, but there’s been a positive profusion of outbreaks recently. [sighs] I suppose we’d better give this outing up as a bad job.

JODY MARSH: No way.

PAULA COHEN: Absolutely not.

AMELIA SPENS: I can’t guarantee your safety if you carry on. Well, I suppose I could if I really wanted to make the effort, but I don’t.

JODY MARSH: [scoffs] Stuff being safe! This is the only sniff of a clue we’ve had since all our friends went missing. I’m not giving up.

PAULA COHEN: Marfield is east of here. Come on!

~

PAULA COHEN: I can see Marfield on the brow of the next hill. Lots of little Elizabethan cottages and a half-built McShell lane.

AMELIA SPENS: Therefore useless. I’ve ordered a squadron of my anti-gray berets to head your way, but it will take them at least 15 minutes. Honestly, do you have any idea the havoc you two have wreaked on my schedule today? Now I’m Prime Minister, my day has to be timetabled to the second. I’m not enjoying it at all!

JODY MARSH: You wanted the job, Amelia. Deal with it.

AMELIA SPENS: Admit it, Jody. I’m the best PM this country has ever seen. And the rest of them didn’t have to deal with the shambling undead outside of their own cabinets.

PAULA COHEN: There’s no sign of that V-type.

JODY MARSH: No sign of anything. It’s weird to see it all so empty. Corn ripe in the fields but not a single person. I’d sort of forgotten what it was like before the cure.

AMELIA SPENS: And before I reestablished order and a semblance of normality.

JODY MARSH: Yeah, it was definitely all you, Amelia. I used to do airdrop pickups around here. The road was cracked, grass growing up through. There was a cherry tree right in the middle. Now it’s all paved over again. Back then, it felt like nature had had enough of us. Game over, next player’s turn. Time to hand it all back to the foxes. It used to feel like we were an endangered species.

PAULA COHEN: We were an endangered species! And we still would be if it weren’t for Maxine. Veronica’s research was all built on hers. Without her, there’d be no cure! I’d still be... Without her, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t want to be.

AMELIA SPENS: Please don’t cry, you’re not one of those people who can do it attractively! And what happened to that trademark Abel sunny optimism in the face of insurmountable odds?

PAULA COHEN: It disappeared with all our friends! Five’s just gone. We think the Maghreb are holding the rest prisoner. Veronica’s been hunting for traces of her other self, but all she’s found are bits of code and rumors of a brain in a suitcase. We know Maxie went to help the Maghreb with a measles outbreak. Apart from that, what do we really know? Just reports of a burn cube explosion, right back when they first went missing. Peter had a burn cube inside him. What was that?

JODY MARSH: Probably just the wind. But maybe we should pick up the pace. Not much further to Marfield.

~

JODY MARSH: We’re here. Marfield Town Square. Looks like they got evacuated right in the middle of a market day. This stinks of decaying cabbage and spoiled meat. [gags] The butcher store’s buzzing with flies.

PAULA COHEN: Here’s the statue of Thomas Gainsborough. Oh my God. Do you see that, Five? On the pedestal, it’s a tape recorder. A proper old-fashioned tape recorder with a tape in it! Jody, do you think this could... Could this really be a message from them?

JODY MARSH: It’s got to be, hasn’t it? What would be the point otherwise? Well, go on, then. Play it. The suspense is killing me.

PAULA COHEN: I know... I know. I’m sorry, I just... What if it’s not? Okay. Okay, here goes. Five, my hands are shaking. Can you figure out how to get this thing to play?

JANINE DE LUCA: Well, what exactly would you like us to say?

JODY MARSH: Oh my God.

PETER LYNNE: It doesn’t matter what you say. It’s proof of life, Janine. I mean, proof of how great our life is and how well we’re being looked after.

JANINE DE LUCA: Don’t be absurd, Mr. Lynne. Proof of life only works if it’s a live broadcast. They could record this and then kill us. Doesn’t mean anything.

PETER LYNNE: I think it might be nice for our friends to have some reassurance, Jenny.

JANINE DE LUCA: Well, yes. We really are... We’re perfectly fine. It’ll take more than this to break us.

DISTORTED VOICE: I think that’s enough for now.

AMELIA SPENS: You need to stop the tape right now.

PAULA COHEN: There could be more messages. We haven’t heard Maxine yet.

AMELIA SPENS: Quiet, for goodness sake! There’s movement on the monitor, doodahs. [sighs] It’s keeping to the shadows, but it’s very fast and it’s definitely heading in your direction. I hate to be all doom and gloom, but it’s probably our V-type. I don’t suppose you fancy acting as bait to lure it away, do you, Jody?

PAULA COHEN: We’re not risking losing anyone else.

AMELIA SPENS: [sighs] Why do I even bother asking? Then you’d better head east towards that ghastly industrial estate. And don’t dawdle!

~

JODY MARSH: Anything on your cameras, Amelia?

AMELIA SPENS: Not a sausage.

JODY MARSH: I can’t see anything. Can you, Five? It’s dead quiet. Just lots of half-demolished warehouses. But I can feel it. All the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up.

AMELIA SPENS: It seems to be hiding from the cameras, which it should be far too stupid to do. [sighs] I thought Paul was being hysterical when he started blathering on about signs of increased intelligence in solitary V-types. I suppose I should apologize to him. I won’t, obviously.

PAULA COHEN: Five, play the tape.

AMELIA SPENS: I really don’t think you should -

PAULA COHEN: I’m not waiting any longer. I can’t.

SAM YAO: I really don’t see why I should help you. Oh, are you already recording? Now that’s not fair! I said I wouldn’t cooperate. No, you’re not doing it to be nice. You’re trying to freak my friends out or-or manipulate them or something, and I’m not going to help you. Guys, no one knows where Five is, but we think they -

JODY MARSH: Stupid Sam. Always worrying about other people when he should be worrying about himself.

PAULA COHEN: There’s still... There’s nothing from Maxine.

JODY MARSH: Maybe it’s further on.

PAULA COHEN: That’s it. That’s the end of the tape.

AMELIA SPENS: Emote about it while you move. I finally got a clear and frankly stomach-turning look at your pursuer. It’s missing a head and still very much ambulatory, so call me an old worrywart, but I think it’s a V-type. I was really hoping we could avoid this, but there’s a place to the north where you can evade it. Just go on, then. Run!

~

[zombie growls]

JODY MARSH: Oh God, it’s nearly on us!

AMELIA SPENS: Just as well good old Amelia’s led you to safety. On your left, the side door to Marfield Storage. Five, enter 2574 on the keypad.

PAULA COHEN: I don’t understand. Why wasn’t there a message from Maxine? She was there. We know she was there.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Voice scan required for entry.

AMELIA SPENS: Let me just... Ah.

RECORDING: Sigrid Hakkinen, access code Sigma Alpha Epsilon.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Authorization granted, Minister.

JODY MARSH: Paula, Five, get in now.

AMELIA SPENS: There’s another exit at the far side of the complex. It should take you well clear of the V-type.

PAULA COHEN: Does it mean they don’t have Maxie, or does it mean they... they had Maxie and now they don’t?

JODY MARSH: There was nothing from Five, either. This was probably just like, a teaser trailer, something to get us interested.

PAULA COHEN: Yeah, no. [laughs] Yeah, you’re right. Why would they hurt Maxie and not the others? Except for the fact that she’s a doctor, and there’s this sudden outbreak of new diseases and maybe she knows something about it they don’t want her to know!

JODY MARSH: My nan always said don’t borrow trouble, you’ll get enough for free. And we think Van Ark’s got something to do with it, right? I mean, we got a message saying he wasn’t the real Van Ark, but that could have been faked. Van Ark wouldn’t kill Maxine. He’d use her. You know that.

PAULA COHEN: Yes, I know that very well.

JODY MARSH: Amelia, what is this place? I mean, it’s one of Sigrid’s secret bases, obviously. It’s all pastel walls and surveillance cameras and posters of her on every wall. I’d forgotten how smug she always looked. But why did you have the passkey, and why were all the lights on when we came in, like someone’s been here recently?

PAULA COHEN: I can see the labs through the glass doors. Some of the equipment looks like it’s running. The sign about this one says, “Bioweapons, alpha access only.” [door knob rattles] It’s locked.

AMELIA SPENS: I would like to explain, but I’m afraid the V-type’s found a way in.

JODY MARSH: Oh, bollocks. You just don’t want us to look around.

[zombie roars]

AMELIA SPENS: I might be lying. I could have recorded that sound and saved it for a rainy day. Or maybe you’re being hunted by a virtually unkillable zombie. Up to you, of course. You could keep trying more locked doors, or you could run!

~

[door creaks open and shut]

JODY MARSH: We’re out of the base. No sign of the V-type, if it was ever there.

AMELIA SPENS: No need to worry your pretty head about it any longer, Jody. My anti-gray berets have arrived.

PAULA COHEN: I can see them rappelling out of the helicopter. Rappelling... Is that the word?

AMELIA SPENS: Yes, they certainly made good time.

JODY MARSH: You don’t sound very pleased. I thought you were a big fan of efficiency.

AMELIA SPENS: It may shock you to learn I used to carry out a heist or two?

PAULA COHEN: No, not really.

AMELIA SPENS: Before every escapade, I’d send my crew to carry out a minor break-in, making absolutely sure to trip the alarm. Can you guess why?

JODY MARSH: I don’t care.

AMELIA SPENS: It was to test police response times. Terribly clever of me, really. Create a problem, and then see how the opposition goes about solving it. It teaches you an awful lot about them.

PAULA COHEN: You think that’s what this was about? A way for the Maghreb to test our V-type defenses?

AMELIA SPENS: Or to discover the location of a place I’d rather have kept under wraps for a while. And what have we really gained today? I suppose it was nice for you to hear your friends’ voices, although personally I’ve always found Peter’s rather grating. But Maxine is missing, we’re no closer to finding Five, and our opponents, whoever they truly are, have learned a great deal about us.

~

[helicopter blades whir]

SLAVA: Red Scorpion Base just on the horizon. See it now, Ranger Five? And all around it, rolling dunes, a few isolated caravans winding their way between oases. Must have looked the same a thousand years ago. You’d hardly know the zombie apocalypse happened. [chuckles] Mind you, briefing said the zoms hide beneath the sands in these parts. Useful adaption. Mr. Valmont says, “We have to change with the times or die.”

RANGER SEVEN: Correction. Zombies are already dead.

SLAVA: [laughs] Good one, Ranger Seven! Oh wait, you weren’t joking. Not in the programming, right? Closer now. Can you see the smoke? That’s courtesy of Abel Township.

RANGER SEVEN: Abel Township. Designation: enemy settlement. Action plan: eradicate.

SLAVA: Give that supersoldier a cigar! But that’s a problem for future us. [rocket launches, alarm blares] Rocker launch on our three! Evasive maneuvers! [rocket zooms past] Nice piloting, Five! Best put us down here, outside the perimeter. Don’t want anyone else taking a pot shot.

[chuckles] Mind you, I don’t think that rocket was aimed at us. Looks like there’s a firefight going on inside Red Scorpion. Lucky I’ve got two strapping soldiers to guard me. Mr. Valmont said you’d been a bit glitchy lately, but you’re the only two in fighting condition. “Always make the best of what you’ve got, Slava!” That’s what Mr. Valmont told me.

Touchdown. Out of the bird, both of you. Better get moving. [door opens] This mission is time critical. [zombies groan] Also, looks like we’ve woken up a few of those burrowing zoms. More than a few. Remember the brief: find and eliminate Ernie Van Ark. Now run!

~

SLAVA: We’ve outpaced the zoms. Got to say, you guys are quick on your feet. Not exactly been dazzling me with your witty repartee. But then, Mr. Valmont told me he took your voice box out, Five. Guess there’s not much point talking when all you’re saying is, “Yes sir, no sir.” Ranger Five, take point. Seven, guard our rear.

RANGER SEVEN: Yes, sir.

SLAVA: I’ve got to be honest, you guys give me the creeps. Don’t get me wrong, almost unkillable cyborg soldiers definitely a mission asset. You’ve got to respect a trooper with built-in ordinance. But your eyes... Oy. You always look like you’re screaming on the inside!

RANGER SEVEN: Error. Enhanced soldiers don’t experience fear.

SLAVA: [chuckles] Or happiness, or sadness. Or that feeling when you get when you’re too full, but you’re going to eat the last chocolate anyway. You know what I mean? What am I saying, or course not. I heard it was quite the technical challenge making it so you don’t care about anything.

Me, I came that way out the box. A 93 on the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale. Took that test when I was seven. Bet you’re wondering why they gave a seven-year-old psychopathy tests, aren’t you?

RANGER SEVEN: No, sir.

SLAVA: Hm. Well, it was Mr. Valmont. He funded a string of orphanages across the old Eastern Block. “Charity has its place.” That’s what he says. “And that place is when it’s benefiting me.” He arranged for the orphanages to give all the kids the Levenson test, and the real high achievers like me got taken out and put into special schools, Valmont Academies. Mr. Valmont’s been training me for a long time. That’s why I’m the best at what I do.

RANGER SEVEN: Ranger Five has reached the perimeter wall.

SLAVA: [sighs] I can see that. Now breach it.

RANGER SEVEN: Ranger Five, initiate perimeter wall breach protocol.

[rubble clatters]

SLAVA: If Mr. Valmont wants one for the tip box, maybe give the next batch of supersoldiers a bit more get up and go. Nicely done, Five. You’re through! We’re heading for Control Alpha. That’s the blocky concrete monstrosity at the back. But we need to keep our heads down. Mr. Valmont’s been cleaning up shop. And by cleaning up, I mean shooting, and by shop, I mean all the base personnel.

[zombies groan]

Damn it! Zoms are catching up, and they’ve brought some friends. I guess the noise drew them. And now we’ve given them a way into the base. Oh well. Should help the other crews with the cleanup, but we’d better run.

~

SLAVA: No hostile contact yet. Lots of broken glass. Remains of a solar panel field, I’d say. Looks like old damage. Mr. Valmont told me those Abel Township people did a number on the place. Ranger Five, clear us a path to the entrance.

[glass clatters]

Guess you guys are wondering why Ernie’s a target. Wondered the same thing myself. I know how much effort Mr. Valmont put into creating him. But he said to me, “I had such high hopes. The original Van Ark was so bracingly immoral! But remakes are always a disappointment, aren’t they, Slava? Ernie’s the Wicker Man of evil masterminds.”

Remake! [laughs] Mr. Valmont got a way with words, hasn’t he? When I was a kid, I used to write down everything he said to me. Had a secret journal for it. Hid it under my bed. They didn’t like you keeping anything private in the Valmont Academies, but I wanted to remember it all! He only came to visit us at Christmas and Easter, spent a little time talking to everyone. Highlight of my year.

RANGER SEVEN: The path to the door is clear.

SLAVA: I can see that. Five, override the security lock on the door, would you? Looks like someone’s tried to disable it from the inside. [electronics whir] See the corpses, Seven? One to the chest, one to the head. Classic double tap. Mr. Valmont sent in a few kill teams before us. People here knew too much about his plans.

That’s the trouble with new hires. They’re never completely loyal, not like me. Can’t trust them not to blab. “It’s not a secret when three know it.” [laughs] That’s not Mr. Valmont. Heard it off a kid from one of those weird Scottish islands. Morn, Marn? Something like that. Lot of kids from around there in the orphanage.

[door opens]

RANGER SEVEN: Ranger Five has gained access. We can go home now.

SLAVA: Home? I suppose it is the closest thing they’ve got to home. Okay. Ernie’s holed himself up in the executive bunker. Probably treating himself to Mr. Valmont’s 60-year-old Macallan whiskey. Probably thinks he’s sitting pretty in there, but you guys laugh in the face of reinforced steel.

The zoms have reached the breach in the wall. Must be a good score of them now. Doesn’t matter. We’re on a timer, anyway. Oh, didn’t I mention? Mr. Valmont wants a tissue sample from Van Ark. That’s why we’re going in. But more importantly, he wants Van Ark dead, so he’s got a bomber standing by. The whole place is going boom in 15 minutes, and if we’re not out by then, so are we. “Pressure’s good. It’s how you make diamonds.” [chuckles] He told me that when I was 13. Ranger Five, Ranger Seven, watch my six. We’re going in.

~

[gunshots]

SLAVA: So this is where the real action is. Armory. Figures. “We’re just apes fighting over scarce resources,” like Mr. Valmont says. We’ve got cover behind these crates, but it’ll be hard to get across without catching a stray bullet. I can’t see who’s fighting who. Looks like every man for himself. Very high body count. Okay, Seven. See that metal table? That’ll have to do for our next piece of cover. Five, suppressing fire while we run. Now! Made it. Looks like they winged you though, Seven.

RANGER SEVEN: They wired the pain receptors to the pleasure receptors in my brain. I was made to be hurt.

SLAVA: Yeah, sure, buddy. Come to us now, Five. Seven will cover.

RANGER SEVEN: We’re not alone.

SLAVA: Yeah, I see them. Zoms have come to join in the fun. Good news for us. Everybody turned fire on them.

RANGER SEVEN: Ranger Five, we’re not alone.

SLAVA: You already said! No, wait. Is that another supersoldier?

RANGER SEVEN: His battles are over.

SLAVA: Oh shit, a zombie supersoldier! Forget cover, just run!

~

SLAVA: This place is a maze. Endless olive green corridors. Could have gone for a more cheerful color. It’s not like the walls need camo. [zombie growls] Damn it, can’t seem to shake that supersoldier zom! Guess the cybernetics keep working even while the flesh is rotting away. You’ve got a clear shot, Five. Take it! Five, don’t malfunction on me now! [gunfire] All right, belay that. It hasn’t even dented him. Take a left here. Schematics say it should lead to... Yes. Inner courtyard, greenhouse. There’s a service hatch to the tunnel network there, shortcut to Ernie’s hidey-hole

RANGER SEVEN: This was Ernest Van Ark’s place. Ernest Van Ark was happy here.

SLAVA: Was he? Guess you’d know. You must have seen him around the base back in the day.

RANGER SEVEN: All the plants are dry and dead. No one to water them while Ernest Van Ark was gone. When things are neglected, they die.

SLAVA: Not necessarily. Take me. Mr. Valmont gave me my psych profile to read a couple of years back. There’s stuff in there from before I can remember. Like apparently no one hugged me for the first whole year of my life. Crazy, right? But Mr. Valmont says that’s what makes me me. It makes me special.

RANGER SEVEN: When things are neglected, they die on the inside.

SLAVA: Jesus, you’re weird. Five, what are you waiting around for? Get that trap door open. [hatch creaks open] Seven, buy us time to get clear, any means necessary. I don’t care if that zom tears you from limb to limb. I don’t need both you and Five to finish this mission. [glass shatters] It’s here! Five, take point. Go!

~

SLAVA: This is it, the entrance to Ernie’s bunker. What are you waiting for, Five? Get that door off. Only eight inches of steel, shouldn’t take you long.

RANGER SEVEN: Wait... for... me.

SLAVA: Seven, I thought I told you to guard our rear.

RANGER SEVEN: I must... complete... the mission. Ernest Van Ark is the mission. I must complete the mission for Ernest Van Ark.

[metal creaks]

SLAVA: Nicely done, Five. Took that door clean off. Now stand back.

ERNEST VAN ARK: Finally! I wasn’t sure you’d make it. It’s a bit of a mess out there.

SLAVA: Sorry, Mr. Van Ark, but we’re not here to rescue you.

ERNEST VAN ARK: Oh, I wasn’t talking to you. Thank you, Five. Thank you, Seven. I’m grateful for the risks you took. I suppose you’d better relieve your companion of that rather dangerous-looking gun.

SLAVA: What? Five, let go of me! What are you doing?

ERNEST VAN ARK: The inevitable. It’s the nature of sentience that a being will come to know and choose for itself. My friends at Abel taught me that.

SLAVA: Ranger Five, you are malfunctioning. Run diagnostic Hotel Golf. Obey me, damn it! Valmont made you. He owns you!

ERNEST VAN ARK: The thing is, Miroslava, a child doesn’t belong to its parents. A clone isn’t... fenced in by his genetics. And supersoldiers can break free of their programming, with a little help.

RANGER SEVEN: Ernest Van Ark freed soldier 2759. Ernest Van Ark is our friend.

SLAVA: It’s the supersoldier zom! You aren’t getting out of this alive, Van Ark!

ERNEST VAN ARK: If I die, you die. But you genuinely don’t care about that, do you? What did Valmont do to you?

RANGER SEVEN: Go, Ernest Van Ark. I will stop him.

ERNEST VAN ARK: Nonsense. We’re all getting out of this together.

RANGER SEVEN: I am hurt. I will slow you down. My tactical onboard computer calculates 13% survival chance if I accompany you.

ERNEST VAN ARK: Seven, no!

RANGER SEVEN: Five will protect you. This is my choice.

~

ERNEST VAN ARK: I think that’s far enough, Five. We’re clear of the base, and clear of the zoms. Too much food inside for us to be of interest. No sign of Seven. I thought... I thought he might make it out after all. How arrogant of me to assume it would all go according to my plan. Not entirely free of my genetics after all.

There’s no sign of Miroslava, either. It would have been sensible to dispose of her, but I know you don’t much care for killing anymore, Five. She could cause problems for us down the line. But then again, she could be trapped inside when... right on schedule. Valmont’s bomber, come to dispose of the evidence. [explosion] Dear me... He doesn’t do things by halves, does he? And now he thinks we died in the base.

I imagine New Agadir would be happy to take you in, Five. They’re very keen on new tech, and on freedom. No? Onward, then. Without Valmont on our backs, we can concentrate on what’s important. What do you say, Five? Do you think it’s time to go and find your namesake?

~

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: Are you there, Runner Five? I must admit, I admire your resolve, as I always have. Blinded by storm, wrapped in dust and darkness, pursued by an entire army, and still you run. Most people would have collapsed into a dispirited wreck by now. My boss is very impressed.

But it will not avail you. We have you in our sight. The storm has our scanners blunted, not blinded, and the storm is dying now. If you didn't have valuable research in your blood, we would have shot you dead by now. This ends one way and one way only.

De Luca is here, if you'd like proof of that. I was just about to send her for a full debriefing. Anything to say, Janine?

JANINE DE LUCA: Five, it's me. Do not give in! You have the USB and the panacea in your blood. You must get to Miss Abani. They will not follow you across the border. You could be there in minutes!

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: Oh yes, over the bridge to safety. Can you even see it, Five? Get De Luca out of here!

JANINE DE LUCA: Five, the bridge crosses a ravine. The ravine holds a river. Listen, Five – [shouts as she is knocked out and then dragged away]

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: She isn't coming to help you, Five. No one is. We have your friends. Sam, left in the comms station. We found him. He's still unconscious. Peter, left in the mountains. His rescuer was intercepted by our mercenaries. Your band of thieves stole vital research. Did you really think Red Scorpion wouldn't search every inch of your trail?

Is that your plan? [scoffs] Veering toward a clump of rock formations? I bet you barely see them. Just looming shadows in the dark. They won't obscure you long, Five. Perhaps you'll hide from us for five minutes at most. I suppose you believe every minute makes a difference. I'll see you very soon.

~

[mechanical legs whir and stomp]

SUPER SOLDIER: Command, squad nine reporting. Visibility still low. Rock formations all around. Target lost, hiding between them. Splitting team to search. Enhanced vision on full. Awaiting further support.

[Jeep engine rumbles]

LEADER: We're near the bridge, so scour this smog. Fan out between the rocks. Keep your eyes on those scopes.

SOLDIER: Sir, yes sir!

SUPER SOLDIER: Rocks blocking thermal sight. Recommend we tell backup to encircle before the target slips away. Over.

MAXINE MYERS: Five, Five, are you there? It's me, across the river.

SUPER SOLDIER: Signal intercept, comm ping, six of my location. Matches captured headsets. There. Heat profile on the move. All forces converge. Run the target down. Do not let it escape!

~

BRENT VALMONT: Five? Five! Are you receiving? Wave a hand if you are! Oh, thank God. It's me, Five! Valmont to the rescue... sort of! I came for Sam. Took a fast plane and a stealth boat. Thought I might find another crossing point upriver, but they're all buttoned up. Got a bit stuck.

MAXINE MYERS: Five, it's Maxine. I'm over the bridge with the squad from the Maghreb Protectorate. Valmont volunteered to help us. Our night vision doesn't like the storm. We couldn't see or signal you until the weather started clearing. We're nearly at the bridge. Keep going.

It is good to be back with you, Five. I've been up north treating measles outbreaks. Followed an epidemic into the protectorate. They all knew about me and they let me help their medical program. Maryam sent word that I'd be useful here.

I've seen a lot of sick people, Five. At borders and on beaches. International refugees, displaced locals. Survivors from the world over. Diseased, dying, hopeless. The panacea you've got, it's the potential for a cure. Not just for the ailments. It'll show the world our science can still work! This isn't a new dark age. Our knowledge can save us. It's hope, Five! That is what you're carrying.

[flares explode]

Oh wow, Five. You're out of the worst of the storm. It's still hazy behind you and-and there are flares going up in the murk. A line of rising green lights showing... Oh. Oh no, th-that's a huge army. There's got to be thousands of soldiers, jeeps, mechs, tanks, squads of infantry, all charging after you. Oh, dear God, the scale of it! Showing us their numbers. It is a way to bare their teeth. We've only got a dozen soldiers here, but they daren't cross the border. It'd start a war. We'll hold position, Five. You're almost at the bridge. Keep going no matter what!

~

MAXINE MYERS: Five, the storm has died down completely. No more wind cover, no more dust. You are totally exposed. Oh, damn! There's a lot of starlight. Scopes don't even need NV. That's it, you're at the bridge. Hurry! If you get past halfway, you're over the line.

[explosion]

Five! Five's hit. Five, are you all right? On your feet! Th-there's something on your back j-just above your pack. A canister stuck to you with putty?

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: I see you got your gift, Five. Didn't want to deploy it in the storm. Wind can throw off aim.

[canister beeps]

MAXINE MYERS: Is it beeping? Five, Five, you're stumbling. What's wrong?

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: The canister is administering injections, Five. The cocktail in your blood is sensitive. You need to be dosed in stages.

MAXINE MYERS: That thing's tranquilizing you, Five. [sound slows, distorts] I can see it in the way you're swaying. Fight it! For God's sake, fight it! [sound returns to normal] That's it, keep moving. You don't have far to - oh no, Five. Incoming copters.

[explosion]

BRENT VALMONT: They blew up the bridge with missiles! A rather impressive barrage, to be honest!

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: There's no way to their side now, Five. I held my forces back a bit to avoid driving you into the blast. No need for that now. We're on the bridge behind you. There's nothing you can do. [sound slows, distorts] I hope you understand that.

MAXINE MYERS: Five, Five, stay conscious. I have an idea. Valmont, you got here by boat, right? Five, just keep going. They blasted the bridge just before its midpoint. Head for the rubble. Get to where the bridge ends. It is not over yet. Go!

~

[rushing water, shouting, heartbeat]

[sound slows and fades until only the heartbeat is left]

SAM YAO: Uh, the tranq thing stopped beeping, Five. Must be empty. [echoes] You know, I hate to break this to you, but I think you might be... [high-pitched, distorted] hallucinating a little?

[bubbles pop]

FRANCES DEMPSEY: I mean, I don't think this bridge should be lurching up and down like that, do you?

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: Stop running, Five. If you go over the edge of that bridge, you'll drown. There's enough tranquilizer in you to stun an elephant.

[elephant trumpets]

MARYAM ABANI: What? [?], what?

SAM YAO: Run! Run! Run!

[helicopters whir, mechanical legs stomp, bubbles pop]

VERONICA MCSHELL: Fading in and out here, Five. Wonder why you're hearing us? [distorts] Probably just scrambled synapses in your brain.

[elephant trumpets]

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Or perhaps you're remembering who you'll fail if you fall.

SAM YAO: I need help! I need help! Listen!

MAXINE MYERS: Five, are you receiving? Do you copy? I hope you can hear me. Listen, Valmont has a speed boat and there's a river running under the bridge. We're coming for you. The helicopters are pulling back. It's too close to Protectorate airspace. Valmont, step on it.

[maniacal laughter]

JANINE DE LUCA: I think it's sunrise, Five. Or the sky is bleeding. One of the two.

SAM YAO: [echoes] Hurry!

JANINE DE LUCA: [South African accent] Have you... got my voice wrong, Five? [own accent] It's Moonchild in your head, isn't it? Honestly, what have you [?]

MAXINE MYERS: Five, we're speeding toward you. Just get to the end of the bridge. And Valmont and I'll be waiting underneath. Focus, Five! Just one foot in front of the other. You're close. Run!

[high-pitched voice whoops, Abel Township gate siren]

~

MAXINE MYERS: Five, concentrate. You're at the middle of the bridge. Well, the end of the bridge now. Nothing there but rubble.

SAM YAO: Five!

BRENT VALMONT: Five, we're going to be too late. You have to dive into the water. We'll swing by and pick you up. Tuck the USB inside your clothes. You won't be in the water for long. It'll work!

[bell rings, spring bounces, animal roars]

MAXINE MYERS: We're almost there, Five. They're right on top of you. Stop swaying. Snap out of it! They're going to grab you!

[mechanical legs whir and stomp]

SOLDIERS: Get back here! Get back here!

[helicopter whirs]

JANINE DE LUCA: I would jump, if I were you.

MAXINE MYERS: I said jump, Five. Off the bridge.

SAM YAO, VERONICA MCSHELL, OTHER VOICES: Jump, now!

[wind whistles, footsteps crunch, water splashes and swirls]

MAXINE MYERS: Five, I've got you. I've got you. Floor it, Valmont! [speedboat engine revs] It is okay, Five. You did it! We're pulling toward the other side of the river. That's protectorate waters. They can't touch us there. [laughs] You did it, Five! I've got the USB. You've got the data out. This is going to save millions. Oh, it is okay, Five. [echoes] You can rest. We'll get you somewhere safe. You hear that, Five? It's okay. You can rest.

[sound slows]

~

[fire crackles]

BRENT VALMONT: Five. Five, are you awake? [sighs] You gave me quite a scare there, Five. After we got off that boat, you wouldn't wake for love nor money. No, it's okay. Don't try to sit up. You're still weak. Do you... like the office? It's one of my favorites. Fireplace, leather couch, fur rug. Classic look! Whiskey? I've got some nice ones. Oh, maybe not, eh? With all that magic in your blood.

[door opens]

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: Sir -

BRENT VALMONT: I said not now, Guillemette!

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: I'm sorry, sir, but it's urgent. The other one, she slipped away. I've got people looking -

BRENT VALMONT: Oh yes, really? And where have I heard that before? No, don't tell me. It was when Five "slipped away" from you on the salt flat. You know, you had such a promising record, Guillemette. I heard such very good things. And yet you betray me!

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: No -

[three gun shots, GUILLEMETTE collapses]

BRENT VALMONT: Damn! I should have said, "you fail me for the last time." She has been such a disappointment, Five. She really had to go! But you... you've been adorable, so entertaining! All these years, running through all those wheels! I'd say my apocalypse was worth it just to find you. And yes, you almost took my panacea, but don't worry. You'll earn forgiveness.

Cheers. [clinks glass, sips, sighs] Oh, Five. You should see your face. Yes, Five. I was her boss! And now I'm yours! Because from this moment to forever, my dear, determined Runner, you belong to me!

~

SAM YAO: Ah, another beautiful day in New Agadir. Funny how much easier it is to enjoy the colorful mosaics of stone and solar tile when you're not moments from having your brain turned into a poached egg.

JANINE DE LUCA: Fortunately, that entire incident is now behind us, Mr. Yao. While the puzzle scavenger hunt you, Runner Five, and I are about to engage in -

SAM YAO: - is the perfect way to build our cover as Death's Hand. Now, any halfway decent group of ruthless mercenaries begins by gathering intel and mixing in with the locals. Oh... oh, now does that make us double undercover? Undercoverer?

JANINE DE LUCA: Mm. Mr. Yao, please. Let's save the wordplay for the main event.

SAM YAO: I'm sorry, Janine. I'm just excited! This hunt was created by Halcyon, the creator of Poshington, the Demons and Darkness setting based on modern England.

HALCYON: Are you ready?

[applause]

SAM YAO: Oh, there he is! Somehow, I thought he'd be taller.

HALCYON: Then let's begin. Tea for two and two for tea. Take yourselves to a popular local tea tent and drink up to reveal your next clue. I'll see you at the finish line. And remember -

[SAM chuckles]

HALCYON and SAM YAO: [in unison] Keep calm and blimey on!

JANINE DE LUCA: Right. Unless you or Runner Five know more about the tea shops of New Agadir than I think, Mr. Yao, we'll need to keep up with this crowd. Run!

~

JANINE DE LUCA: Up ahead. Do you see, Five? All the participants in the game appear to be visiting the Two Scoops tea shop. I see, yes. Two for tea. Very clever.

SAM YAO: Very Halcyon. Oh, come on, we're falling behind.

JANINE DE LUCA: On the contrary. Hang back a little, Five. We should remain in the middle of the pack, exactly where cautious mercenaries like Death's Hand would place themselves during an intel mission.

SAM YAO: Yeah. Or, or, or maybe we should try to get to the head of the pack, exactly where ruthless superfit mercenaries like Death's Hand would definitely want to be.

JANINE DE LUCA: I feel, Mr. Yao, that your motivation has less to do with building our cover and more to do with obtaining first prize. A gold-plated crumpet, wasn't it?

SAM YAO: Oh, was it? I didn't know. Anyway, we're here now. Uh... yeah. See that woman inside wearing the top hat and Union Jack ascot? She must have the next clue.

JANINE DE LUCA: Wait, I know that face. If I'm not mistaken, she was working in the refreshment tent outside the city when we came into town.

SAM YAO: What? The tent ransacked by our goats? Hopefully she doesn't remember us. Come on, let's go in.

[bell jingles, Pomp and Circumstance music plays]

TEA SELLER: [posh accent] Who's here for tea and crumpets? [own accent] You three? I appreciate you finding me to apologize for your previous antics, but I do not have time for it today. Please be on your way!

SAM YAO: But we're not – I mean, we are. But this time we're not -

TEA SELLER: On your way. [posh accent] No crumpets for you!

HALIYAH AMANI: Psst! Over here.

SAM YAO: Who's...? Oh, in the corner there, the woman in the Critical Role T-shirt.

JANINE DE LUCA: Yes? What can we do for you?

HALIYAH AMANI: You need the clue, right? I've got it. I found it on the saucer under a tea cup. “Here comes the sun. Find some stones that don't roll in this place that's less rock than metal."

SAM YAO: Less rock than metal... hmm. Hmm. A music store, maybe? Or the scrapyard outside the walls. I know it's filled with metal parts being repurposed by the city.

HALIYAH AMANI: That has to be it. That's great!

JANINE DE LUCA: On the contrary, it is not in the least bit great. I was conducting a reconnaissance mission near that scrapyard this morning. I saw at least half a dozen zoms.

HALIYAH AMANI: Oh no. Are you sure?

JANINE DE LUCA: Quite positive.

HALIYAH AMANI: But all the contestants are headed there already, and no one's armed. It'll be a massacre.

JANINE DE LUCA: We have to warn them before they reach the zombies. What's the quickest route, Miss...?

HALIYAH AMANI: Amani. Haliyah Amani. And it'll take too long to explain, but I can take you there. Follow me. Quickly!

~

HALIYAH AMANI: This is it. To enter the scrapyard, the group has to come through this crossway.

SAM YAO: Well, I don't see anyone.

HALIYAH AMANI: Without that short cut, they'll be at least a few minutes behind us. It is eerie how quiet the place is, though. Usually you can hear the rhythm of the auto sorters and the clang of people looking through old metal for spare parts.

JANINE DE LUCA: No doubt news of the zombies has spread. Hopefully only the contestants are in any danger.

SAM YAO: Great. And you know, while we wait to warn them, maybe we can take a gander at whatever it is Five's standing in front of. Are those classic rock guitars propped up on stands, like a... like a Neolithic stone circle?

JANINE DE LUCA: It's meant to be Stonehenge, I think, though whoever created it didn't quite get the proportions right. That psychedelic-looking guitar by Runner Five's left foot is much too far to the right.

HALIYAH AMANI: I wonder if the error is a clue. Part of the game somehow.

[zombies scream]

JANINE DE LUCA: Perhaps. But those zombie screams definitely are not. Is it possible the group somehow got ahead of us, Miss Amani?

HALIYAH AMANI: I don't see how.

JANINE DE LUCA: Someone else may have stumbled on those zoms. At the very least, we may be able to draw them away from this area. Miss Amani, stay here to warn the group in case we're wrong. Runner Five, Mr. Yao, with me. Quickly, run!

~

[zombies scream]

SAM YAO: Well, we're halfway through the scrapyard and I've seen every kind of metal heap I could possibly imagine and I still don't see any zoms.

JANINE DE LUCA: I think I know why. Listen. Hear that click at the beginning, Five? A recording resetting itself. All part of this puzzle, I guess. Unfortunately, it's going to attract some very real zombies if we can't shut it off.

SAM YAO: Yeah, and all this metal bouncing the sound around isn't helping. Okay. Okay. Think, Sam. Think. Now where would a zombie attack take place in Poshington? Marmite convention? Cricket match? Wait, Five, over towards you. Is that an old bus?

JANINE DE LUCA: Painted red like a London double-decker. Mr. Yao, I think you're onto something. Runner Five, see if you can get the door open.

[door creaks open]

SAM YAO: Ugh. I've heard Halcyon wanted to adapt Poshington to our new post-Z-Day era, but a dark bus filled with mannequins and the sound of zombies screaming is not my idea of a cracking good time. Can you see what's playing the screams, Five?

[recording clicks off]

JANINE DE LUCA: Much better. Thank you.

[zombie gasps]

SAM YAO: Oh, what, there's a backup recording? Oh. Or a very real zombie sitting in that seat. Watch out, Five.

JANINE DE LUCA: Off the bus, everyone! I should have anticipated that the real zombies would be on the bus, drawn by the screams. Runner Five, see if you can find a piece of metal to bar the door. That isn't going to hold them for long. We need to warn the players before they reach the bus. Run!

~

[crowd chatters]

SAM YAO: We're nearly out. That's the entrance to the scrapyard up ahead, and we've managed to pull away from the zombies.

JANINE DE LUCA: But not by much, and it appears Miss Amani has been unable to dissuade the game's competitors from completing the challenge. There must be at least 50 people here!

HALIYAH AMANI: You need to get out of here. You have to believe me. There are zoms up ahead. Stop looking at Guitarhenge and listen!

PARTICIPANT 1: Don't worry, Haliyah. We can find the next clue without your help.

JANINE DE LUCA: This isn't part of the game. There are real zombies headed in this direction!

PARTICIPANT 2: She says, in a Poshington accent. You can't fool us. Now please, we are trying to gather clues here.

HALIYAH AMANI: This is all my fault. I didn't want to tell you, but I'm Halcyon's writing partner. That's why I latched onto you as soon as I heard you in the tea shop. I couldn't miss the chance to research some real Brits! But we made the games too sneaky. Now everyone thinks this is just another trick.

SAM YAO: Then we'll have to make the game work for us. Five still has the fake zombie recording. If we turn it on at the right moment, I bet the real zoms will follow the sound and leave these people alone.

JANINE DE LUCA: Agreed, Mr. Yao, but we need somewhere to direct them that won't hurt anyone else.

HALIYAH AMANI: There's an exit from the city not too far from here. If we circle the exterior wall, we can lead the zoms right to the defenses by the southern gate. I'll show you where.

JANINE DE LUCA: It does seem to be our best option at the moment. Runner Five, be ready to turn the recording on as soon as we catch sight of the zombies. Miss Amani, lead the way. Run!

~

SAM YAO: Well, normally I'd stop to enjoy the view of the rolling desert sands along the city wall, but our plan seems to be working. Wait. Wait, aren't there eight zoms behind us now? Instead of the five who followed us out of the city? Wait, two more just joined the pack! Lovely.

HALIYAH AMANI: I'm sorry. Halcyon and I like our adventures to be exciting, but this is taking it a bit far.

SAM YAO: So you really write the adventures with him? Did you work on Dog Save the Queen?

HALIYAH AMANI: It was my idea.

SAM YAO: [laughs] I love that one! Oh, the bit where the demon corgis are out to kill the royal family and you have to fend them off in the Tower of London. Me and Five had so much fun.

HALIYAH AMANI: I was rather proud of that adventure.

SAM YAO: Then why don't you put your name to them? Poshington wouldn't exist without you. You deserve to be famous every bit as much as Halcyon.

HALIYAH AMANI: But I prefer not to be. If my face and name aren't known, I can join in the games without being recognized. I love seeing people enjoy what I've created up close. I'll take that over fame any day.

JANINE DE LUCA: Your native zombies appear to be a faster subspecies than our own, Miss Amani. They're gaining ground.

HALIYAH AMANI: Don't worry. Can you see, Five? That's the defense tower up ahead. Yoohoo, zoms incoming!

JANINE DE LUCA: I don't think they can see us just yet, and the zombies behind us are moving faster. We're going to have to put on a burst of speed.

SAM YAO: Yeah. Pretend those demon corgis are nipping at your heels. Run!

~

[zombies scream, lasers fire]

SAM YAO: That's it. The last of the zoms down.

JANINE DE LUCA: Indeed. I'd heard of the efficiency of the New Agadir laser defense grid, but seeing it in action is really quite impressive. Those tower guards are to be commended.

HALIYAH AMANI: And so are you. Without you, a lot of people could have died today.

SAM YAO: All's well that ends - wait, is that Halcyon there ahead of us?

HALCYON: [posh accent] Welcome to the finish line, Poshinton knights. But where is your changing of the guard getup?

HALIYAH AMANI: It's all right, Hal, they know who I am.

HALCYON: [own accent] I'm so relieved to see you, Haliyah. I heard all kinds of rumors about zombies in the scrapyard.

JANINE DE LUCA: Taken care of, Mr. Halcyon, but I would suggest avoiding loud noises at any of your future setups.

HALCYON: Sorry, who are you?

HALIYAH AMANI: Our future security consultant. Now shush, here come the first players. They don't need to know how close to disaster we came. Why ruin the illusion? Go on, Hal, do your thing.

HALCYON: All right. [posh accent] Now it's time for the winning team to come and collect their... [makes a fanfare sound with his mouth] golden crumpet!

[crowd cheers]

JANINE DE LUCA: I'm sorry that we were unable to win the prize for you, Mr. Yao.

SAM YAO: No, that's all right. Getting to hang out with Poshington's creator was a thousand percent better than any crumpet, golden or otherwise.

HALIYAH AMANI: Actually, I was thinking maybe you could give me a few pointers? Help me make the British setting more accurate?

SAM YAO: It's perfect already. Don't change a thing. But maybe... maybe you could write a sequel to Dog Save the Queen? I need to know who sicced the demon corgis on the royals in the first place.

HALIYAH AMANI: Well, I'd hate to leave you in suspense. We'll have to play sometime. You bring your accents, I'll bring the tea. And remember -

SAM YAO and HALIYAH AMANI: [in unison] Keep calm and blimey on!

~

JANINE DE LUCA: Stay low, Five. These rocks provide some cover, but we must not attract attention. Sergeant Felis and Red Scorpion have deployed hundreds of troops in our path. They're creating a cordon, preventing us from crossing by sheer force of numbers. The ravine ahead marks the border. There is only one route across it, the small suspension bridge to our east. On the other side of the bridge, Miss Abani is waiting with troops from the Maghreb Protectorate. Red Scorpion cannot seize us if we cross.

We are so close, but our foe has positioned her soldiers wisely. And we must not delude ourselves. Sergeant Felis is our foe now. Though she helped us when she could, with her commander's eyes on her, she will pursue us with utter ruthlessness. Two armed cordons, stretching as far as the eye can see, blocking off the ravine. One a good distance in front of the other. Impossible to rush both. Black Hawks circling the cordons. If we get closer, they will see us.

The stars are radiant, aren't they? Milky Way streaking overhead, so bright. We've left so many behind. Mr. Yao, Miss McShell, Miss Dempsey, Mr. Boujettif, Peter. Even General Bakari. In truth, your best chance of survival is surrender. You have panacea biodata in your blood. Even without our stolen USB drive, that has value. If you surrender, show willing, you might be able to barter humane treatment from our enemies. If we try for that bridge, the likelihood is we will both be killed, or captured and tortured. But if we could somehow beat the odds, millions could be saved. I need to know, Five, are you with me to the last?

I knew you would be. The helicopters are withdrawing northward. Clouds are covering the stars. Feel the winds, Five? Dust storms are unusual at night, but they happen. We may have a window, one chance. Look at the plateau ahead. Rock formations litter it like broken teeth half-buried in sand. The enemy cordons are composed of guarded checkpoints with vehicle patrols. The night is darkening. The storm will block line of sight between the checkpoints. That is our opportunity, Five.

There! That checkpoint is still setting up. If we stay low, use the rocky ground for cover, we can get close without being seen. We have less than an hour before the tracking device in our USB pings again. We must be over the border before it gives us away. Come on, move!

~

JANINE DE LUCA: Visiblity is dropping sharply. Excellent. This storm is weaker than the one we previously encountered, Five. Still, cover your nose and mouth. There. The torchlights ahead mark the checkpoint. I can just make out three soldiers setting up a barricade. I'll get their attention. You edge behind them. On my signal, attack.

SOLDIER 1: All these rocks and dead bushes, too much cover. And this basic [?] is no good.

SOLDIER 2: You whined in New Mexico, too. It's just the storm, it'll... Hey, you! Identify!

JANINE DE LUCA: Don't you know me? I'm Steel Fist with Death's Hand, you idiots. Look, we don't have time to mess around. We've got intel from the boffin, Ernie. Needs to reach the Chief.

SOLDIER 2: Death's Hand? We heard -

JANINE DE LUCA: Don't care what you heard. It was all cover, said we were dead so we could work covert ops for the boss. This intel is urgent, Felis's eyes only. No radio transmissions, or are you too thick to get that? Need to get this across the cordon.

SOLDIER 1: Storm's scrambling comms, but we've got signal boosters setting up. When they're on, we'll verify you. Meantime, stay right where you are. Uncover your face. Hey, hand away from that pocket!

JANINE DE LUCA: Relax! Just getting my vape pen. I expect you wouldn't belive me if I said look out, there's someone right behind you.

SOLDIER 1: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

JANINE DE LUCA: Thought not. It means now, Five. Good tackle, Five! The big one's down. Look out! Nice moves, Five. Staying too close for them to aim. Gave me the chance to pistol whip the other two. They're out cold.

Grab their gear and clothes. When they come to, they'll need to report our attack, but we have their radios. And they'll get lost in the gloom if they go looking for the nearest checkpoint. Their best bet will to be to head downwind of the barricade, try to get caught by the rear cordon. I have a plan, Five. I know how to use that to our advantage, if we're fast. I'll explain as we go. We need to be away from here when they wake up. This way. Run.

~

JANINE DE LUCA: There's the second cordon, Five, not far ahead. Look, even through the dust, I can see headlights. Dozens of Jeeps creeping back and forth, far more vehicles patrolling the rear line. Those are spotlights activating, one per checkpoint. Searchlights to penetrate the dust. Our stolen uniforms are some disguise, but we won't get through another round of questioning.

The shadow behind you is a rock formation, Five. Put your back against it. It will be some shelter from the wind. We must hope Sergeant Felis lives up to her normal efficiency. If they take too long to get their comms online... Ah, signal on our stolen radios.

SERGEANT FELIS: This is command. Booster stations active. Weather is delaying thermal sight rollout. Airlift to resume ASAP. Storm will reduce sensor efficacy. The boss has promised additional help. Meantime, hold the line. Command out.

JANINE DE LUCA: Good. They do not know we are here. From the sound of it, fielding this many troops is stretching their equipment. My uniform has a name on the chest. Do you see a rank insignia, Five? Ah, shoulder.

This is Sergeant Wilson. Repeat, Wilson. Two assailants hit our checkpoint, took a hostage. All three headed for the rear cordon. Radio damaged. Send backup.

RADIO OPERATOR: Say again, Wilson? Confirm report. What did you - ?

JANINE DE LUCA: With luck, that should be enough to get them moving. There! A column of Jeeps is moving towards the checkpoint we attacked, scrambling to investigate. The cordon is redeploying its troops to make up for the departing units. Lots of movement. In the dark, with these uniforms, we can slip by unnoticed. Follow me, Five. Into the cordon. Avoid the spotlights as much as possible. Run!

~

JANINE DE LUCA: Stand straighter, Five. Hold yourself as if you belong. Hard to make out what's around us, I know. Nothing but headlights and silhouettes in gray haze. Just follow me. I was always a good operative, Five. Led dozens of disruption ops like this for the state. Of course, the state turned out to be unworthy of the service.

I miss Abel very much, but seeing Tunisia has reminded me our duty is not to rebuild any one place. It is to do whatever we can to help the whole world prosper. The UK caused the apocalypse. If we hope to remedy that, we must reach out and work with others. This panacea could be a crucial step on that path. Take the radio, Five. Keep this channel open.

RADIO OPERATOR: General checkpoint update. Three figures spotted roaming between cordons, did not respond to signals coordinating intercept. Alert level 1.

JANINE DE LUCA: As I hoped. Without their radio, the soldiers we attacked have no means to identify themselves. They've been mistaken for us. The others will be focused on them, and – [zombie screams] What was that? Those are zombie screams.

SERGEANT FELIS: All forces, Z alert. The storm has exposed zombies that were buried under the sand dunes near the rock formations. They are between cordons. Destroy verified undead on sight. Command out.

JANINE DE LUCA: Buried, like the first screamer we uncovered in the desert, Five. The sound of the cordons will have driven them wild. This is our best chance! The army will be disrupted. And that sounds like zombies right behind us. Forward, Five. We're almost through the cordon. Faster! Hurry!

~

JANINE DE LUCA: Five, slow down. I think we lost the zombies in the dark. That sounded like artillery fire, heavy guns. They must have identified a cluster of zombies. The cordons will recover quickly, but I think we're through them both. If I angled us correctly, the bridge should be directly ahead, though it is impossible to tell. All I see is murk! We can only hope this is the right direction, Five. The rear cordon was placed well ahead of the ravine. We are not safe yet.

SERGEANT FELIS: This is command. Priority message. We have secured the strays between the cordons. They were not, repeat, not the targets. Yes, I said every sensor we have pointed behind the cordon! Then show me the damn feeds. Two figures moving fast. It's got to be them. Deploy the reserves, all of them! That's why I held them back. And change this frequency. They've got to have - !

JANINE DE LUCA: Do you hear that, under the wind? It sounds like super soldiers. I thought they were all disabled or subverted by us or by ANNIE. She must have more. These are almost certainly the most loyal and reliable ones, not malfunctioning. We will not be able to fight them. Speed up, we have to find the bridge. Move!

~

JANINE DE LUCA: This is no good, Five. The super soldiers are catching up too quickly. Even if we find the bridge now, they will take us before we're halfway across. Can't see them in the dust, but they're coming from behind us. There's one more trick up my sleeve. It's not exactly keeping you safe, but I can buy you time. I'll veer toward them, guns blazing, draw them off. You keep going for the crossing. It will only gain you minutes, but on a night like this, every minute counts.

Look over your shoulder, Five. Lances of red light piercing the dust, dark shadows behind them. Those must be laser sights of some kind, coming from eye level. This is all I can do for you. My risk, my choice. Take the USB, get that data out. Cross the finish line for me. Go, Five. I will occupy them for as long as I can. Straight forward, run!

~

SERGEANT FELIS: So then, it's Runner Five, yes? I know you're on this frequency. You've been eavesdropping again. I suppose you're wondering how I know it's you. I'll let my reserve commander explain.

SUPER SOLDIER: This is Squad 9 reporting in. Target attempted diversionary tactic, as expected. Neutralized with ease. Closing on remaining target.

SERGEANT FELIS: Your comrade has bought you time. You're the one with the special blood, which means you've got the data, too. That information belongs to Red Scorpion, Five. Nobody else. There's a whole army behind you. My boss is listening. It's been a merry chase, spy, but it's over now. Let me make it clear.

This is command. We're not leaving this to the enhanced soldiers. All forces move to intercept. No matter what happens, the target does not get away!

~

SAM YAO: Oh, Five! Oh my God, it's so good to see you!

JANINE DE LUCA: Yes, you have been extraordinarily lucky. We cannot rely on such good fortune again. Sergeant Felis made it clear she will be duty-bound to hunt us down if she pinpoints us again.

SAM YAO: Yeah. But these enormous, echoing, empty caves should conceal us, right? Hmm, looks quite dusty. [coughs] And uh, it's full of old computer, uh... stuff.

JANINE DE LUCA: Yes, I believe this cave complex was hollowed out by some precursor to Red Scorpion before the zombie apocalypse. It has certainly been abandoned now for a very long time, probably because it is too close to the border with the Maghreb.

SAM YAO: Yeah, I mean, Guillemette wouldn't have led you here if they could instantly find you. Right, Five?

JANINE DE LUCA: Indeed. These caves tunnel right through the rocky hills leading to the Maghreb border. Our extraction point is not far from the other side.

SAM YAO: Well, that's if we can find our way through. Looks like half the doors here are sealed. No point getting stuck in here. They'll work out where we are eventually.

VERONICA MCSHELL: I think I can sort that out. The systems here look like something I can interface with. We need to head down that passageway to a command nexus. No time to wait, come on!

~

VERONICA MCSHELL: Good, these computers look like what we need, and there's residual power here from a small generator. Sam, I'm just going to need to take control of one of your hands. I need to connect to a little node in the back of your neck.

SAM YAO: Uh, yeah. Okay, V. Uh, I'm just gonna close my eyes, let you take over.

VERONICA MCSHELL: I'm just going to connect this cable. I should be able to open all the doors in the place. [computers hum] I'm into the system. All terminals are networked. Locating central hub. [over intercom] Ah, there are speakers here! Much more comfortable than that synthesizer. Hub located, in hibernation. I can -

[SAM YAO and VERONICA MCSHELL scream, computers zap, door slams shut]

JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Yao, Miss McShell, what's happening? The blast door just closed over main entrance!

ANNIE: Now then, who's prodding me awake? Camera's warming up... oh look, there you are.

JANINE DE LUCA: ANNIE! That is... ANNIE, Mr. Valmont’s rogue AI!

SAM YAO: [weak, severely pained] Five, get this cable out of me. My head! Oh God, it hurts! Five, ANNIE’s in the computers. She did something to Veronica. Oh, it hurts...

ANNIE: Insects. Insects in my body? Parasites? And not authorized parasites. Can't have that.

[doors slam open]

JANINE DE LUCA: Doors are opening to adjacent rooms. Those are zombies coming out. We can't stay here. Five, remove that cable. Get Mr. Yao on his feet! The door behind you leads to a clear hallway. Move!

~

SAM YAO: Five, is that you holding me up? [shouts] It hurts so much! It... It... [SAM’s voice combined with the distorted voice of VERONICA] It hurts. No control. Like a splinter in the logic, the numbers terrified. Fading in and out. It hurts.

[SAM screams]

JANINE DE LUCA: He's barely conscious. Keep moving, Five. This corridor is nothing but empty offices. We must find an exit! The zombies are closing.

[zombies groan]

ANNIE: Ah, my staff. So hungry. I penned them in for study after they went rotten. Then I got bored, went into hibernation to save power. And you intruders make me spend it. Though I saw such interesting things in the conjoined one's mind. You all know me already, Insect Five especially. Delighted to be killing you.

VERONICA MCSHELL: -nine? Janine, I-I think she knew we might come here, has been waiting for us, might even have nudged us by taking control of the super soldiers.

[SAM screams]

VERONICA MCSHELL: 14% probability of that. Would have calculated it higher without this stupid optimistic brain.

JANINE DE LUCA: I doubt Red Scorpion knows about ANNIE. She's been a rogue element for a long time. This corridor forks. Miss McShell, did you see a floor plan in the database?

SAM YAO: [with difficulty] J-Janine, it's me. Probably. Hard to tell right now. Ronnie says go left, find the supervisor's office. This place got its ANNIE from Valmont pre-Z-day. The supervisor has a private line to Valmont. [chuckles] Loyal customer bonus. [shouts] If the power’s on, so’s the line. Valmont’s the last person in the world who still has long range comms infrastructure. V thinks he can help.

JANINE DE LUCA: First we must outpace these zombies. That way, Five. Faster!

~

[zombies groan]

VERONICA MCSHELL: It’s okay, Five. You don't have to hold Sam up. [with difficulty] I can... keep us on our feet. Janine, we want the office ahead with-with the frosted windows.

[door creaks shut]

JANINE DE LUCA: The supervisor certainly lived up to their title. CCTV monitors on every wall.

VERONICA MCSHELL: [with difficulty] The private line’s on the... desk. Video link. Sending signal... using Valmont’s priority codes.

[radio static]

BRENT VALMONT: Hello? Who's this? This is an old channel. How do you know my code for Amelia updates? Oh! Runner Five, Janine, my favorite people! What are you doing calling from... Tunisia? Goodness.

ANNIE: What are you doing, insects? Accessing an encrypted comm line? We can't have -

[keyboard clicking]

BRENT VALMONT: Sorry, ANNIE. Just overriding to access your logs. Oh dear, this one's buggy, isn't she? What's she been up to? Remote accessing super soldiers, good lord. Better shut her down. Now ANNIE, come on. No, no countermeasures. Bad ANNIE! Ow! Ah, she's got into my system, frazzled half my comm relays. Fused loads of her own systems doing it. Didn’t want to go, poor thing.

JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Valmont, I'm patching you into our comms. Do the logs mention medical facilities? We -

BRENT VALMONT: Ah, I see what you have. ANNIE recorded it. Two minds in one brain, [laughs] imagine the patterns. Bad news, though. Uh, ANNIE disrupted the copy of Veronica inside Sam. She's collapsing in a feedback loop, overclocking herself and him. It's going to, well, liquefy Sam's brain.

JANINE DE LUCA: I will not permit that to happen!

SAM YAO: Oh God. Oh no! Janine, look, the CCTV!

JANINE DE LUCA: Helicopters have landed outside. Red Scorpion soldiers are emerging. Sergeant Felis’s ability to help us is evidently at an end.

BRENT VALMONT: There is one option for you. That's an old comms station. Has an archive drive for storing transmissions, lots of space. If you could download Veronica onto the drive, she'd be out of Sam's head. He'd be safe. Keep the drive offline, halt her decay, and you can get her home to fix. The drive's in room B17. Down the corridor, four rights and a left.

JANINE DE LUCA: I see B17 on the monitors. There's a fire door nearby we can exit through. The soldiers are entering the base. ANNIE's demise must have unsealed the door. We have little time. The zombies are catching up. Everyone, run!

~

JANINE DE LUCA: Door B17. Inside, now. [door shuts] A single computer terminal, plenty of cables. Miss McShell, what do you need?

SAM YAO: Janine, I’m pretty scared. Head pounding, burning up.

VERONICA MCSHELL: We both are. Give me the blue cable, Five. That'll work.

BRENT VALMONT: Now listen, once Veronica's downloaded, you can pull the hard drive from the machine and run. She'll be safe on there.

VERONICA MCSHELL: Not enough time.

SAM YAO: What? Veronica -

VERONICA MCSHELL: [over intercom] Ah! Speakers in here, too. 8 minutes until those soldiers reach us, at best. 22 to download me. Not enough time.

JANINE DE LUCA: Miss McShell, can you speed up the transfer?

VERONICA MCSHELL: Not without killing Sam! Organic brains, so fragile. Could do one thing, though. Could wipe myself from Sam's head, erase my software, take burden off him.

JANINE DE LUCA: No, Miss McShell, you cannot!

VERONICA MCSHELL: It's fine. I'm safe in the UK. One of me is, anyway. Not this one.

SAM YAO: Ronnie, come on, don't talk like that. We can figure it out. We-we can figure something out. Having you in my head... I've never felt smarter. I’d have passed my degree like this.

VERONICA MCSHELL: I'm sorry, Sam. I loved being in your brain. You should see it, Five! The way he views the world, it's like the whole thing's blazing with hope. Every person, every moment, every day, a chance for joy. Faith in friendship, and love, and Marmite! [laughs] Even when I was human, I-I never could have imagined it. It made my calculations feel... kinder.

SAM YAO: Ronnie, please.

VERONICA MCSHELL: It's okay, Sam. I'll still be in your memory. I've seen myself there, flaring with your faith in me. Thank you so much for sharing that. [powers down]

SAM YAO: [cries] Ronnie! Ronnie, no! Oh, come back! Come back, please! She's gone. I... I can't feel her. Oh... oh God. Five, m-my head - [collapses]

JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Yao!

BRENT VALMONT: He'll be okay! He's just unconscious. Needs rest, though. I wouldn't move him. I'm into the station systems. I can seal that room, make it look packed with zombies on CCTV so the soldiers ignore it. I'll send a retrieval squad for Sam. You could hide with him. [gunfire in background] Better decide quick. Those soldiers are close, fighting their way through the zoms. 

JANINE DE LUCA: We're carrying a USB tracker that pings at regular intervals, Mr. Valmont. A hostile army is massing nearby. If we remain anywhere for long, they will realize and descend. We cannot stay. Five, there's a fire escape outside. Head for it, then into the hills. Mr. Yao... Sam will be safer if we leave him, Five. I'm sorry, but we have no choice. Come on, move!

~

JANINE DE LUCA: Stay low, Five. Keep using the hills for cover. The comms station is well behind us. I hear no pursuit. The soldiers must still be searching it. We've lost Mr. Valmont's signal. Too far from the station. It's just us now. The others, our entire team, lost and scattered.

We've come so far, Five, across an unknown country with enemies at our back. We've faced unfamiliar zombies, super soldiers, aerial assaults. It has been... exhausting. Now we have to get to the border and the extraction point in time, with an army against us. Mr. Yao would tell us to have hope. We must honor him and Miss McShell and all those left behind. This is the final stretch, Five. Let's go.

~

SAM YAO: All right, Five. Yeah, I can see you through binoculars. We can't bring the Jeep to you. It gets stuck in the dense, sandy salt you're running through. But you’re making good time.

JANINE DE LUCA: The path ahead of you is straight, Runner Five. You must simply avoid the... obstacles.

SAM YAO: Yeah. So uh, yeah. Where you are, you'll notice those sort of crystalline lumps sticking up out of the salt flats. And I bet you're thinking, “What are those?” And the answer is - as is so often the case - they're zombies.

JANINE DE LUCA: This area only experiences rain every two or three years. Otherwise, it is entirely arid. These zombies must have become stuck in the earth during the last rainstorm and subsequently have been dried by the relentless sun.

SAM YAO: Yeah, they're all caked with salt, sort of glittering in the sun. And as you can see, it means they can't... move, like the zombies in that red salt lake Chott elDjerid. Now are they actually still... alive, Janine?

JANINE DE LUCA: Zombies are undead, Mr. Yao.

SAM YAO: Yeah. Yeah, I... but I mean, yeah, they're like undead, but not... dead. Dead again. Right?

JANINE DE LUCA: I believe, under the salt, they are still, yes, undead.

SAM YAO: Right. So yeah, don't stop to look around, Five. Keep running.

~

SAM YAO: Doing well, Five. Just miles and miles of crystalline zombies around you. Ahead of you - what is it, Janine? You're making a funny face.

JANINE DE LUCA: I'm listening to the bug planted on Sergeant Felis. Although Ernest Van Ark has convinced her to send the majority of her soldiers back towards the acid-soaked city of Alkursi, she and several of her forces remain in the vicinity.

SAM YAO: She stayed here? Why?

JANINE DE LUCA: She's a formidable enemy. It is not easy to hoodwink her. Some of her super soldiers are functioning oddly, probably because of Ernest Van Ark's interventions. And... oh.

SAM YAO: Oh?

JANINE DE LUCA: Oh no. Runner Five, keep going!

SAM YAO: What do you mean, “Runner Five, keep going,” Janine? Runner Five always keeps going.

JANINE DE LUCA: There is a reservoir next to the airfield, a reservoir held back by a dam. One of the super soldiers had taken refuge there. In a confused state, it is firing its rockets at the sky, at birds...

[explosions]

SAM YAO: Oh, it's exploding stuff next to the dam. [dam creaks and crumbles] Oh! Runner Five, the dam behind you has burst. There's, well, there's a tsunami coming for you. There's a sort of hilly outcrop ahead to your left. Head for that. Don't look back! Really don't look back. Just run!

~

SAM YAO: Right. That's great, Runner Five. You're on top of an outcrop and the water hasn't reached that far. That is absolutely brilliant work. And look, the dam water has gushed past and it's being absorbed into the salt flats really quickly, because everything was so... everything was so... so dry and crystalline.

JANINE DE LUCA: Unfortunately – well, Five, as I'm sure you can see – the zombies are no longer -

SAM YAO: - dry or crystalline. It's gonna be okay, though. Right, Janine? It's going to be totally okay?

JANINE DE LUCA: Five, while the zombies are still partially salt-encrusted, this is your best chance to continue your journey.

SAM YAO: There must be a thousand zombies on the salt flats though, Janine.

JANINE DE LUCA: They have not moved for years. They will not be able to move quickly. Five, you have your side arm. You have your recoilless anti-tank rifle. Use the rocket launcher now to clear a path for yourself.

[explosion]

SAM YOA: Oh wow! That's-that's a big trench of flying zombie bits you've cleared there, Five.

JANINE DE LUCA: Good. Now run!

~

[zombie growls]

SAM YAO: On your left, Five! [gunshots] Now keep going. Oh wow, you've got half the zombies on the salt flat behind you. Just keep on going, Five! [zombie gasps] To your right! [gunshots]

JANINE DE LUCA: That's right. You have two more rockets in your rifle. You'll need to use them wisely to clear the path for yourself. Mr. Yao and I will keep watch for as long as we can, but we will need to move soon. The tsunami is approaching our vehicle.

SAM YAO: Yep. There's a cave system to the west of where we are, in higher ground. We'll shelter there. We might go out of radio contact, but we'll be watching you. [starts jeep]

JANINE DE LUCA: To your left, Five! A large group of crystalline zombies crawling their way out of the sand. They appear to have been completely submerged.

SAM YAO: Oh no. Five, that's a lot of zombies. You need to use your rocket launcher. But no, no! There are more behind you, more to your left! [gunshots] They're on you from the right, Five! Just try to keep moving. [gunshots] They're not strong, but there are so many. Just-just keep going forward!

JANINE DE LUCA: Someone is approaching from behind you on a set of exoskeleton legs.

SAM YAO: Five, to your right! [gunshots]

JANINE DE LUCA: We must leave now. The wave is approaching. Who is that figure?

SAM YAO: But Five! There are too many zombies. At your seven o'clock, Five! Oh no. Janine, Five's out of ammo. [machine-gun fire] Bloody hell. That person on exoskeleton legs has shot the zombies. Five, try to keep moving! [distorted audio, radio static]

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: Ah, Vampire Squid. Or should I say, Abel Township Runner Five? You are out of ammo and out of options. It's my sworn duty to protect you. Oh no, you're not having a gun. Give me your rocket launcher. Take this set of exoskeleton legs. We're getting out of here alive.

[machine-gun fire]

~

[machine-gun fire]

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: I see you looking around, Five. You're wondering where my soldiers are. I don't trust them anymore. They've been acting strangely since we came to Red Scorpion. Blowing up that dam... it's as if they're trying to sabotage us now.

[zombie growls] Duck down! [machine-gun fire] I suppose I should be grateful for the dam explosion. If I hadn't watched the path to the tsunami, I would never have spotted you here, and then you'd be dead, and the panacea gone with you. [machine-gun fire]

I must say, I rather admire you for making it this far. You're only miles away from the border with the Maghreb. That's where you're going, isn't it? And then they'll extract the panacea from your blood, and take the information on how to reproduce it, and spread it around the world.

And the end to disease. It's not quite the answer to death that Professor Van Ark found for himself, but it's not far off, is it? If it gets out into the world, all of us will have an extra souped-up immune system, one that'll wipe out cancer cells and most diseases.

You could still fall off a cliff or get shot. [zombie growls, machine-gun fire] Or get bitten by a zombie. That one almost got you. No, it's no cure for the zombie plague, but never to worry about most natural diseases again, that'd be something. Something to show for these dark years of plague. [machine-gun fire] This way, Five, toward the mountains to the west, and keep running. That's quite the crowd of zombies behind us.

~

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: You know, I could let you go. [machine-gun fire] I am an American citizen, naturalized at 23. I believed in what we were doing at Red Scorpion before the apocalypse. We destroyed a fungus that was a threat to mankind. We took on difficult, dangerous research.

[zombie moans, machine-gun fire]

When I saw the zombies, I knew that the work we'd been doing was important. The red fungus would have made more of them, and more quickly. The world needed solutions. The super soldiers were volunteers, defenders against the armies of the undead. Still, I wouldn't have made them that way. I wouldn't have gone to war with the Maghreb. Those were decisions made by the boss.

Stand behind me for a moment. [explosion] Good, that's the path clear.

I believe in that, the chain of command. That's how things get done. It clears a way. You work better as a focus team. You obey your superior officers. I didn't know what you'd stolen, you see. Secrets are very closely guarded at Red Scorpion base.

But I couldn't stop wondering why Bakari risked so much to help you. I never liked the man. A turncoat, ruthless and self-interested. Then I finally discovered just what I've been working so hard to recover. Do you obey your Superior officers when they tell you to stop a cure for all disease making its way into the world?

The zombies are closing in again. Keep running, please.

~

GUILLEMETTE FELIS: [machine-gun fire] That's it. Most of the zombies are behind us now. Just a few stragglers. [zombie growls] You could overpower me here, Five. No one is listening. No one knows where we are. If you had overpowered me in this mountain pass, if you'd knocked me out, no one would ever know. Your friends are waiting in this cave system, I believe.

I believe in the chain of command, but I also believe in my own soul. If you overpowered me now and I saw you again, I would have to chase you with all my might. Do you understand? You would have to run from me. My boss would be watching. The other soldiers on the base would be watching. I would have to try to recapture you.

But if I stumbled here, if you took advantage and took your gun back and your rocket launcher... just obeying orders has never been an excuse, has it? [dramatically] Ah! Oh no, you have overpowered me, knocked me to the ground. I have no idea where you are going. [chuckles] Godspeed, Five.

~

SAM YAO: Five, Five, in here! We can hide in these old trailers. [door creaks shut] I knew that garage would be crawling with zombies!

PETER LYNNE: Yes, everywhere's crawling with zoms, Sam! You're not exactly Nostradamus. Eugh, it is really musty in here. Must have been empty since the apocalypse. Five, could you hand me that old tea towel so I can clean the window? [glass squeaks]

SAM YAO: Are the zoms still out there?

PETER LYNNE: Well, I don't see them. So knowing our luck, yes.

SAM YAO: [sighs] Well, at least we've got a moment to catch our breath. See if you can find any useful parts here, Five. Janine always has that “I'm not angry, just disappointed” look when we come back empty-handed.

PETER LYNNE: What are a bunch of rusting camper vans doing out here in the desert, anyway?

SAM YAO: [rummages] Junk. Junk. Junk. Oh? Nah, probably shouldn't eat that. Ooh, I think this radio might be - ! Uh, salvageable?

PETER LYNNE: There's a cluster of buildings in the distance past those dunes. Let's grab what we can and head over there. They look more secure than a rusty old caravan. After you, Five.

[door creaks open]

SAM YAO: I can hear moaning. Can you hear moaning?

PETER LYNNE: Over there, rising out of the sand dunes. It's a... [clears throat] It's a zombified Napoleonic regiment. Huh.

SAM YAO: Are those muskets they're holding? That's so weird! Well, maybe this was a battle sight or something!

PETER LYNNE: Zombies... zombies from the 1800s? It doesn't matter, because there's more coming from the left. Oh, and behind us. Uh, we need to get out of here. Pronto! Make for those buildings, run!

~

SAM YAO: Look at that! A few hundred meters behind the buildings, it's-it's a whole Roman amphitheater! It's still in pretty good nick, too. This must have been a tourist site.

PETER LYNNE: The whole area's fenced off, though. Five, could you give me a boost over? There's a bench on the other side. Once I'm over, I can pull you both up. Great, now give me your hand.

SAM YAO: That's it, we're all in.

PETER LYNNE: Oh, and just in time, too. The zombie regiment’s arrived.

SAM YAO: Oh wow, that's a lot of zombies. Oh, and just a rusty bit of chain holding the gate.

PETER LYNNE: Uh, the amphitheater looks really sturdy, nice and defensible. Once we're there, maybe we can figure out where the imperial guard came from.

SAM YAO: Yeah, well, I think I might have cracked that one.

PETER LYNNE: What?

SAM YAO: Well, there's a trailer over there just like the ones we found in the dunes, except this one's full of camera equipment.

PETER LYNNE: Oh, a film set! See, I knew there was a logical explanation for finding a bunch of zombies dressed as 19th century French grenadiers in the middle of the Tunisian desert. Oh, bloody hell! More zombies. Are those... are those Roman legionnaires?

SAM YAO: Must be the rest of the cast. Dozens of them, and they're all flinging themselves against the fence!

PETER LYNNE: Well, the costumes are right, but the formation's terrible. Oh, there goes the chain. Time to exit stage left.

SAM YAO: Head for the arena, Five. Run!

~

[zombies moan]

SAM YAO: Quick, Five, into the tunnel.

PETER LYNNE: Damn it! There's no gate. There's nothing to stop the zoms.

SAM YAO: Uh, yeah, I can see light at the other end of the passageway. It... yeah, it must come out inside the arena. Look, when we've got some breathing space, we can do a McShell, then circle back around here -

[explosion]

PETER LYNNE: What the hell was that? The whole tunnel's collapsing!

SAM YAO: There's slabs of rock falling all around! Ugh, that one just squished two zoms like flies.

PETER LYNNE: Well, it'll squish us, too, if we don't get out of here! Now come on, the end of the tunnel's just ahead. [coughs]

SAM YAO: Daylight! The arena! We made it.

PETER LYNNE: Okay, that wasn't Roman cowboy builders, that was a bomb. It's buried half the zoms.

SAM YAO: Yeah, but the others are still after us. Uh, and now the way out's blocked.

PETER LYNNE: Come on, there must be another exit. These places were the sports stadiums of their day, right? If we just look around...

SAM YAO: Wait, wait. There's someone in here with us. Look, up in the box at the far end of the arena. Is that... is that a camera?

HAYDEE: Everyone, give a warm welcome to the newest members of the cast. I was saving those explosives for the grand finale, but no matter, there are plenty more. At long last, we can complete the picture.

PETER LYNNE: [laughs] Of course. Of course there's an insane director coordinating this whole thing.

SAM YAO: Yeah, no. No, sorry. Sorry, w-we're actually on kind of a mission here. If you could just like... show us the exit?

HAYDEE: What mission could be more important than cinema? And at last, I have three living actors to complete the great work, my terminal oeuvre, an epic history of the Tunisian people.

SAM YAO: But we're not even Tunisian!

HAYDEE: We'll fix it in post. This is the day Haydee Ghazal becomes a name to be remembered. This is the moment that makes it worth all the scorn. All the battles with producers, all the notes, all the... all the death!

PETER LYNNE: Uh, zombies still quite close. Getting closer.

[explosion]

SAM YAO: [coughs] Five! Five, are you all right? She just blew a hole in the arena floor! The whole place must be rigged!

PETER LYNNE: And full of zombies. They're crawling up out of the rubble and they are - [sighs] they are dressed like Ottoman janissaries. Really, could you just pick an era and stick with it?

HAYDEE: It's allegory. The survival of Tunisia through centuries of struggle. Just as you must now struggle to survive.

SAM YAO: Five, look, there's a collapse in the arena wall. If we scramble up the rubble, I think we can get up to the stands.

PETER LYNNE: We have to reach it first.

HAYDEE: Action!

~

SAM YAO: Here, Five, we can climb up this rubble and into the stands.

PETER LYNNE: Well, we can hide between the seats. That might buy us a bit of time. But we'll still be stuck starring in Zombie Apocalypse Now. Oy, you. Haydee, you've got this whole place wired for explosives, haven't you? If you don't take out the zoms behind us, your magnum opus is going to be short three stars!

HAYDEE: But that's the ending the movie needs, don't you see? I was hired to direct some brainless propaganda movie, utterly worthless. Then one of the undead broke into the set. One bite, that was all it took. Now it's my duty to make a truly great film! A film worthy of the sacrifice. Something truthful. And how can my film be truthful if you survive, if any of you survive? That's not... that's not what happens. In this world, people don't live, they die. However hard you try to save them.

SAM YAO: Ah, I see. I'm so sorry, Haydee. How long have you been here on your own?

HAYDEE: [sighs] All great artists are ultimately alone.

PETER LYNNE: It's no use, Sam. She's too far gone. And the Napoleonic zoms are right behind us, [laughs] and there's a pack of Red Scorpion soldiers pouring in from the left.

SAM YAO: There's another set of steps leading back down to the arena. We can make it, but that's where all her explosives are.

PETER LYNNE: Don't worry, Sam. I have a plan. Follow me, run!

~

SAM YAO: It's not good. We're just running in a huge circle, and we're picking up more zoms all the time. And the bunch right behind us looks like Aztecs. She must have scavenged costumes from every am-dram company in Tunisia.

PETER LYNNE: We're nearly there, Sam. You see that balcony up ahead? While we're in its shadow, she won't be able to see us. Just for a few seconds, but it will be long enough, I hope.

HAYDEE: I can tell you're tiring. Please, come down to the arena. All my cameras are trained on it. I need to film your deaths. If they aren't preserved in celluloid, how can they mean anything?

PETER LYNNE: Three people torn apart by zoms? Bit of an anti-climax isn't it? How about a real blockbuster of an ending? A man sacrificing himself for Tunisia! For life! For freedom!

HAYDEE: You'd do that? [laughs] Yes! Yes, of course! Method acting, true dedication to the craft! At the moment of your triumph, I'll blow it all up. The arena, me, you, the zombies, all gone! The perfect climax!

PETER LYNNE: Keep that camera on me, Haydee, because we're only getting one take.

SAM YAO: Peter, what are you doing?

PETER LYNNE: Get close to Haydee, Sam. Talk to her, keep her distracted. Five, you run up and around until you're just above her. I can get her to use the explosives to take out the zoms, but you need to stop her taking us out with them.

SAM YAO: I hope you know what you're doing.

PETER LYNNE: Well, that seems unlikely, doesn't it? Now run! Bring it on, you incoherently-themed buggers! It's time to die again!

~

PETER LYNNE: That's good, Five. I can see you running towards the back of the emperor's box. There aren't any zoms after you. There's so much noise down here, they're all heading towards it. But you're going to be in Haydee's line of sight in a moment. Sam, you are right in front of her. Now get her attention.

SAM YAO: Ah, so this is where the magic happens.

HAYDEE: Don't get any closer. I can't have any distractions while I'm filming.

SAM YAO: No no. No. No, I-I understand. You need to capture every moment of this. Peter's... God, he's surrounded by zoms. Oh, no. No no, he's okay! He's climbed onto that statue of Zeus. The zombies are trying to pull him down, but he's fending them off. Oh, look at that sword work! He’s just like Errol Flynn!

HAYDEE: I haven't seen star power like that since - ! Since... but Aziz would understand. Sometimes a part needs to be recast.

SAM YAO: Aziz... was he your lead? Before the zombies came?

HAYDEE: Yes, he was. He was very young. I discovered him in open casting. His mother didn't want him to do it, but I told her his talents would be wasted outside the cinema. But your friend has even more raw talent! Look at him go! He's leapt from the statue and is running toward the arches of the amphitheater, just where I placed the explosives.

PETER LYNNE: Well, Sam's done his job. Haydee hasn't spotted you, Five. Just run a bit further and you will be in position.

~

PETER LYNNE: You're almost there, Five. Just a few more paces and you'll be in position.

HAYDEE: It's spectacular! One man against an army of zoms. Now for the climactic explosion!

SAM YAO: Haydee, please. You can't set them off, the blast will kill him.

HAYDEE: I have to, don't you see? There has to be an ending!

SAM YAO: No, don't!

[explosion]

SAM YAO: Peter! Peter! There's so much dust, I can barely see.

HAYDEE: I thought... I thought for a moment, he might survive. But of course, we must stick to the script. Only one explosive left now, the one beneath the stand.

SAM YAO: No, no wait. I can see Peter. He made it! He's striding over the rubble, haloed in flames. Is that... is that a prop sword in his hand?

HAYDEE: He survived? The zombies are gone and he's still here?

PETER LYNNE: Now, Five!

[Five tackles HAYDEE]

SAM YAO: Five, quick, grab the detonators!

HAYDEE: No! Give them back. I have to finish the film!

SAM YAO: No no no, you have finished it, Haydee. Good triumphed. Evil was destroyed. Just because it's a happy ending doesn't mean it's not a true one. The world isn't always cruel. Sometimes things really do work out for the best.

HAYDEE: Y-you really think so?

SAM YAO: Yeah, I really do. You've made a great film, Haydee. One that will last. And your leading man barely has a scratch on him. Peter, that was... amazing!

PETER LYNNE: Yeah, it was one of my better performances, if I do say so myself. Oh, and [laughs] and you, too, Five. Well, the zoms are all buried under the rubble. And uh, [clears throat] we just need to find another way out.

HAYDEE: There's another exit above us. You can leave that way.

SAM YAO: We can leave. You're coming with us, Haydee. We can get you some help.

HAYDEE: I have to stay with my crew. I-I can't leave.

PETER LYNNE: Oh, of course you can. You do want your film to find a distributor, don't you?

HAYDEE: Yes! Yes, of course! A distributor, wide release. The footage is too good to waste.

PETER LYNNE: Exactly. Maybe I'll put it on showreel, just-just to see what happens. I mean, at least one agent must have survived the apocalypse.