8

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

oh so you’re evil? Name every resident.

break up with your controlling boyfriend. call off the wedding, get divorced, whatever you have to do. it's not worth it i promise. don't let the sunk cost fallacy rob you of your happiness. he's mediocre at best i promise there's so much better out there for you and deep down you know it too. leave him. escape! FLEE!

i really genuinely wish I could hit chatgpt with my bare fists and hear its pityful electronic voice fade into glitched robotic gibberish and choking beeps as I hit it before I smash it for good and it shuts the fuck up forever

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

unfortunately i will always view demonic possession as romantic. This is because i have issues & problems

no i dont want to ‘ask chatgpt’ i want to go to a wikipedia page and spend half an hour reading an article like a real person

The later this gets posted, the funnier it gets

Dick van dyke... God. What a name. I wish I could be named penis from lesbian.

I swear to god if this gets 10k i'm [remembers violent jokes are bad] donating to wikipedia

shit man tomorrow is christmas eve i swear yesterday was June 2010

As is tradition in tumblr culture the locals unearth the corpse of a long deceased figure and drag it across the streets merrily, laughing at what is preserved of the person’s words. This custom, seen as morbid in other cultures, is instead done gleefully and with an unmatched enthusiasm