06-14-2022
Famous Hollywood actor, Tom Cruise, was declared missing last night after neighbors reported a magnitude 4 earthquake yesterday. Interestingly, this earthquake was centered at Tom Cruise’s estate.
Investigations are on-going, but police did find a strange metal contraption in Cruise’s basement. Near the contraption was a calendar clock, but the date was off. It read “August 18, 1984”. Along with a high-end laptop, his wallet and other items that the house staff knows he keeps on his person were not found. For whatever reason, Cruise lives completely alone aside from his hired house keepers and cooks.
“For the past four months, he would just lock himself down there for hours!” said Sara Vásquez, one of Cruise’s housekeepers. “He never let me or anyone else down there. We became very concerned.”
These events occurred after several users on the social media app, TikTok, have been posting videos of deep fakes that allow the user to impersonate the famous Hollywood actor. Cruise spoke publicly about these videos, commenting on how they did not personally bother him, but he was concerned about the dangers of the technology. “I don’t see the problem with more images of my beautiful face” he commented. “I wish that there couldn’t be a single day that someone could avoid seeing my sexy visage.”
Vásquez had this to say: “Although not at first, the deep fakes certainly bothered him personally. I could sense it. I have a sort of gift for sensing these things, and I can say for certain that it bothered him. Those people who make fun of him for advocating Scientology also bother him. Not many other things bother him though. He became very obsessed with deep fakes and he wanted to speak nothing of it. Maybe I’ve said too much. If he found out I spoke of this he will fire me for sure! Do not include any of this, please.” Vásquez refused to comment any further.
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