carpe diem

So, I asked the people of twitter what I should make for dinner. Half of them said meth. The other half said pot brownies. Cool.

...and did you make either of those?

I don’t know how I feel so tired yet I can’t sleep. I think I’m just going to just grab my guitar and work on some music and hope that can help.

Are you ready to sing for us yet?

Three days ago, I decided that I would s- spend the last three days of the World Cup focusing on only that– soccer, that is. And now that it’s the last day, I’m r- really depressed that it’s over and don’t know what to do with my life anymore. So in hindsight, I probably should’ve never gotten so obsessed but soccer– and the boys playing it– is scarily addicting.

You only focused on soccer? What about eating and showering? Awh, I'm sorry you're depressed, Jake. I didn't really watch it, but I was keeping up with the guys playing it, so I understand you there. 

They do for my brother, but even pretending to be him just isn’t the same y’know? Some people have like memorized our jawline and facial structure, it’s really weird. They’re gonna come for me when I win the show, though. 

You should at least try pretending to be him, it would be fun. It would really confuse people, especially me. I'm not surprised, people are really obsessive over you guys. 

I don’t think they did, because how did they even get my number? But seeing me naked should be an exclusive thing. We wouldn’t want my nudes all over the Internet, would we?

Well actually, we would. No, Zoey, that's inappropriate. I mean-- it'd be a shame for your nudes to be all over the internet.

They do for my brother, but even pretending to be him just isn’t the same y’know? They’re gonna come for me when I win the show, though. 

You have a brother? That's so cool! Why would you pretend to be him? Oh my god, are you twins? That's even cooler! I've probably met him, but I probably thought it was you. You've got tough competition though, Luca. I believe in you though.

I replied after getting the first message that they should probably check the number they sent their pictures to, but I woke up to six other messages by the same number anyway.

They probably meant to send it to you then. Maybe you should send them nudes back. Give them a taste of their own medicine.

So I dropped my IPod in the toilet. I don’t know if I should scream, cry, or buy a new one.

Well screaming and crying won't do much and only give you a headache, but it does let out pent up anger and sadness, so that's good. I'd say buy a new one.

Did you reply to them?

People can be allergic to other people? I wonder if people can be allergic to, like, water or something.

Ooh, that'd suck. But it'd probably be the easiest allergy to have. Just don't drink water.

Wait, really? Hit me up the next time and I’ll come over. I just want one really good chance to mess with them.

Do they not come to your house?

That’s too much work. Does holding my iphone up in the air while don’t you forget about me from breakfast club plays count?

Well.. I do love that song. But can't you sing it yourself?

Can people even be allergic to chocolate?

I guess so. I think people can be allergic to about anything, even other people. But I think people just say they're allergic to other people because in reality they hate their guts.

Zoey, no one’s gonna die because they ate a chocolate.

What if they're allergic to chocolate? Then you'd never know if they died from the chocolate or the poison.

I-I guess so. Or maybe I can set them up so that someone else eats one, then I can see if they’re poisonous or not, then eat them if they aren’t.

But what if they end up dying? That'd be awful, I'd probably cry.

You’re so adorable , and I’m sure somebody will do it someday 

Well thank you. I hope so, it's literally on the top of my bucketlist.