if my surname was moog or theremin i'd invent a fuckass instrument too

Not enough people talking about how well broccoli holds a sauce

“nobody wants to work anymore” yeah because everyone wants to kill themselves

If i had a daughter i would name her indietronica

sometimes when I’m being especially self deprecating and convinced no one likes me I have to tell myself “you’re being goob. you are being goob right now”

catching a glimpse of your computer screen when the sunlight hits it: oh ok, i must be a spittle machine. I must be slobbering globs of spit everywhere in a 90 degree arc at all times. and rubbing my greasy paws on the screen without knowing it. i must be some sort of disgusting beast.

how is there so much DUST

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

don't shave your legs this summer HOLD THE FUCKING LINE

if you're about to reblog this post seeking approval for shaving your legs, please close the tab containing this post and go watch a gillette ad or smth cause you're not gonna get it from me

i hate you private jets i hate you bitcoin i hate you cars that go 200 mph i hate you golf parks i hate you yachts i hate you huge mansions with a pool i hate you luxery resorts i hate you exessive wealth causally killing the planet and using up ressources we all need

“okay but it’s their money! They can decide how to spend it!” Yeah okay but it’s our atmosphere! and water! and no amount of wealth should give you free reign over that!

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

The B-52s creepypasta youtube thumbnail

"your life is yours to mold" oh nooooooooo oh no oh my god. oh fuck me. no. oh my god. oh im so fucked dude.