Peaky Blinders

As for where he gets the idea—I think sex as a means of gaining trust and/or information is something Tommy has always understood (and is part of what makes him and Lizzie generally accepting of each other) and I don't know that I think he's ever been above using himself in that context under the right mix of circumstances and emotional triggers. We know he has an understanding of sex as a means of gaining trust very early on, because he thinks he can go through with leveraging Grace in season 1 to get to Billy Kimber. Tommy finds there actually is a moral line he won't cross here and decides he can't go through with it, but he plays at the edge of that line with Grace and Lizzie in season 1 and 2 (then blows tf up about the mere suggestion in season 5), and then in season 2, he clocks May's interest in him and immediately notes that she has useful contacts which shows a way in which he might hope to gain something beyond the motive of getting laid.

We might also argue that he gets the idea from Tatiana. She's extremely open about offering sex as a means of establishing trust and gaining information. Tommy decides to do the same with her. There's a correct mix of circumstances and emotional triggers. With Jessie, it becomes even more transparent that he is whoring himself out (and Tommy is again, open about this in conversation with Ada).

As for what I might imagine Lizzie notices... I think it makes sense if in season 3, she can simply tell how fucked up he is about it (just by looking at him, observing his behavior maybe including changes in the way they have sex). By the time Tommy sleeps with Tatiana, we know he's at a stage where he's confiding in Lizzie, and I think we can infer by the end of the season, she's seen him in some vulnerable state(s) nobody else has. Tommy keeps repeating "I was working", then the next time he visits Tatiana, he's gonna unavoidably come back bruised around the neck. So probably a combination of things from the way he behaves to the evidence on his body (and her knowing what kind of things he's into and that being choked is not one of those things) along with what he says out loud about what he was up to probably would tell her what she needs to know.

It came across to me less like embarrassment and closer to... partially anger, but he's mostly he's upset, affronted even. I think it's because Grace *did* just die, and he didn't want to fuck Tatiana, as you pointed out the whole thing ended up way more traumatic than he was counting on (what with the Russian roulette after he just watched his wife shot to death) and he's working. There's a lot going on there. I don't get the sense he's embarrassed. I think if he was embarrassed about it he'd let them have their assumptions that it was lust. Instead he's acting upset that they're not listening and in a weird way, that he's not being seen. He was working. It's actually really interesting and almost counterintuitive that he just says it outright and that it's important to him that they all understand this was his motivation. At this point he’s not even showing shame about the idea.

I think sex as a means of gaining trust and/or information is something Tommy has always understood (and is part of what makes him and Lizzie generally accepting of each other) and I don't know that I think he's ever been above using himself in that context under the right mix of circumstances and emotional triggers. We know he has an understanding of sex as a means of gaining trust very early on

This is the part I find very interesting because there's a couple of different threads. First, the idea that Tommy has always understood that sex is a means of gaining trust/information, that Tommy's never been above using himself in that context -- where does that come from? His brothers and even Polly don't conceptualize sex that way. Arguably the pattern is revealed right away in season 1, when he's willing to "submit" to Billy Kimber by ignoring the insult to pride and bending down to pick up the coin, despite the very different reactions from his brothers. What's causing the difference?

There's a big separation between offering up someone else (especially a woman who is 'impure' already, as he assumes Grace is in s1 and as Lizzie is) and offering up yourself, especially as a cishet man, and I'm always interested in people's thoughts about where that comes from in Tommy. Because it doesn't seem like a new idea to him at all even in season 1 -- "Everyone's a whore, Grace." Again, not something his brothers would say about themselves.

We might also argue that he gets the idea from Tatiana. She's extremely open about offering sex as a means of establishing trust and gaining information. Tommy decides to do the same with her.

The context around Tatiana's "offering" sex is that she's been ordered to do so by her aunt and uncle as part of their plans -- she's basically just as coerced as Tommy is in s6 with Mitford, probably with fewer options to refuse. So it becomes very interesting to consider in terms of "offering sex as a means of establishing trust and gaining information." Tatiana uses it to her own benefit and against her family; Tommy's not coerced directly here but he probably sees few options given he's been coerced into the Russian business in general under threat of death to his entire family. The line he gives Tatiana about the nail in the tire is very telling -- "so that neither of us can change our minds." So this first instance where Tommy is directly exchanging sex for trust/information has elements of coercion on both sides.

With Jessie Eden it's the first time the whole thing is his idea from the start, though there's definitely an element of Jessie playing him back (she knows what she's doing when she shows up to dinner). The evolution is interesting. And then, of course, the subtext with Moseley in s5 and Mitford in s6.

As a clarification: I considered "embarrassed" a good general word. Maybe a more general word is "uncomfortable", but I don't seem to mean by "embarrassed" what I seems like maybe you think I mean? Which is to say— I agree! He doesn't like the assumptions being made about why he did it, including the assumption that it was lust. I characterize his feelings about being misread (and also teased while being misread) as embarrassment (which also very often co-occurs with anger, which I also agree is happening here). I do think there's something about everybody knowing about it that is also upsetting him, but probably wouldn't if they weren't making the assumptions about his motives that they were (or if it hadn't gone the way that it did). Obviously, people are welcome to use different descriptors to dig into the mess of it more.

It's actually really interesting and almost counterintuitive that he just says it outright and that it's important to him that they all understand this was his motivation. At this point he’s not even showing shame about the idea.

Yes! I do also think this is Grace-connected. He slept, specifically, with a woman who his wife thought wanted to get in his pants. That was what Grace was arguing with him about moments before she died, and that only adds insult to injury in terms of being the windower who now everyone is saying "haha you slept with a duchess" As if he wanted to do it just for the hell of it, and that bothers him in part because his grief is not seen (and imo we get Tommy feeling unsupported and misunderstood in his grief in 3x06 too when he says Lizzie was the only person who helped him). It's what—an episode before this that he grabs Tatiana by the throat for suggesting he didn't care about Grace after all? And we get that moment where he looks up at Grace's portrait before convincing himself to track Tatiana down again.

There's a big separation between offering up someone else (especially a woman who is 'impure' already, as he assumes Grace is in s1 and as Lizzie is) and offering up yourself, especially as a cishet man, and I'm always interested in people's thoughts about where that comes from in Tommy. Because it doesn't seem like a new idea to him at all even in season 1 -- "Everyone's a whore, Grace." Again, not something his brothers would say about themselves.

I do think this is where people's "Tommy may have been previously sexually abused" (or maybe even more specifically "Tommy may have prostituted himself as a kid") headcanons really work well, with Tommy also characterizing himself as "impure" because of that.

Setting those headcanons aside, we also see Tommy's general ways of processing/coping with trauma tends to diverge from his family, though (to the point his family often doesn't really understand him). Trauma changed not only how he reacts to things but his whole worldview, and we could suggest that for Tommy specifically, something about spending the war feeling like a weapon and feeling disposable (and maybe even how that process continues through section D) makes Tommy more likely to see himself as an object who is suitable to be used in this way. In season 2 in particular, the Irish business is affecting Tommy pretty specifically, and he's keeping everybody else out of it.

It did just occur to me: While I think arranging John's marriage is a bit different, maybe it is worth thinking about that fitting here too in a way. Maybe Tommy putting himself, Lizzie, and Grace in this separate category isn't as clear cut? Hm. (There's also the scene where John and Arthur have to disrobe at the Petrovna house... maybe there's something even more different going on there too though. It's... interesting).

The context around Tatiana's "offering" sex is that she's been ordered to do so by her aunt and uncle as part of their plans -- she's basically just as coerced as Tommy is in s6 with Mitford, probably with fewer options to refuse. So it becomes very interesting to consider in terms of "offering sex as a means of establishing trust and gaining information."

This is in a large part why Tatiana is so transparent about it in my opinion—because it isn't her own idea—it's her family's practice, so she doesn't care about subtlety, and that's SO interesting imo.

So this first instance where Tommy is directly exchanging sex for trust/information has elements of coercion on both sides.

“Ada, you don't breathe a fucking word of this to the boys. No, no, I mean it, Ada. His friends write the papers, Ada. Tommy would try to close them [him?] down.”

"Tommy says you can't date this guy. He could be bad news. He could be spying on us or something."

That is a delightfully mean angle that I love. But to provide some insight on mine:

Lizzie: I'm not allowed a man on my arm? Michael: Tommy says that they're the rules. Lizzie: Fucking Parish bastard.

"Tommy says you can't date this guy. He could be bad news. He could be spying on us or something."

As for where he gets the idea—I think sex as a means of gaining trust and/or information is something Tommy has always understood (and is part of what makes him and Lizzie generally accepting of each other) and I don't know that I think he's ever been above using himself in that context under the right mix of circumstances and emotional triggers. We know he has an understanding of sex as a means of gaining trust very early on, because he thinks he can go through with leveraging Grace in season 1 to get to Billy Kimber. Tommy finds there actually is a moral line he won't cross here and decides he can't go through with it, but he plays at the edge of that line with Grace and Lizzie in season 1 and 2 (then blows tf up about the mere suggestion in season 5), and then in season 2, he clocks May's interest in him and immediately notes that she has useful contacts which shows a way in which he might hope to gain something beyond the motive of getting laid.

We might also argue that he gets the idea from Tatiana. She's extremely open about offering sex as a means of establishing trust and gaining information. Tommy decides to do the same with her. There's a correct mix of circumstances and emotional triggers. With Jessie, it becomes even more transparent that he is whoring himself out (and Tommy is again, open about this in conversation with Ada).

As for what I might imagine Lizzie notices... I think it makes sense if in season 3, she can simply tell how fucked up he is about it (just by looking at him, observing his behavior maybe including changes in the way they have sex). By the time Tommy sleeps with Tatiana, we know he's at a stage where he's confiding in Lizzie, and I think we can infer by the end of the season, she's seen him in some vulnerable state(s) nobody else has. Tommy keeps repeating "I was working", then the next time he visits Tatiana, he's gonna unavoidably come back bruised around the neck. So probably a combination of things from the way he behaves to the evidence on his body (and her knowing what kind of things he's into and that being choked is not one of those things) along with what he says out loud about what he was up to probably would tell her what she needs to know.