"what a nerd lol" i said with barely controlled lust

the part of adulthood that no one ever warns you about is the amount of surfaces you need to acquire to put your things and trinkets on

Well maybe you're having an "epidemic of mental illness" because your society sucks and systematically breaks people did you ever think about that

I wanted to go see that gay horror movie and I’m the only person here

turn up the harpsichord i cant hear the harpsichord

i think the angriest ive ever made someone on reddit was when they used an emoji while arguing and i said "What is this tiny yellow picture"

me, making a phone call: god i hope they don’t answer

You wanna log in? What's your username? No. What's your email address? What's your password? What code did we just send to your email address? Now what code did we just text to you? New IP address detected. We sent you an email. Click the link to confirm the new address. Scan your fingerprint. Turn on your camera for age verification. Sign the updated user agreement. Accept all cookies? That feature isn't available on the website. Download the app. Those features are in the app. The app that's really a web browser.

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies