og whiskey stan

Bitty’s post-kiss conversation with his parents goes better than he’d feared, though they need some time to adjust to the triple surprise of “our son is gay,” “our son is dating a rising NHL star,” AND “we learned about it on national tv.”

Yet the next time Jack’s in Madison, he and Bitty can’t help but notice that Coach’s behavior toward him has… cooled. He’s not overtly rude or dismissive, but the effusive welcome of Jack’s first visit is nowhere to be found. It hurts, knowing that Coach’s regard was conditional.

Jack tells Bitty it’s no big deal, but Bitty sees right through that, like always. He’s not up to confronting Coach directly, but he hauls Jack into the kitchen while Suzanne’s making dinner and demands to know what the heck Coach’s problem is.

Suzanne laughs and says, “Of course he’s standoffish. Oh, it was all well and good when we thought Jack was just your friend, Dicky. Now that we know he’s your boyfriend, your daddy can’t be too nice ‘til he’s sure Jack’s good enough for you.”

Bitty’s appalled. Given Jack’s challenging relationship with his own dad and the endless criticism of sports journalists, what a blow it must be to hear that his boyfriend’s father doesn’t think he’s “good enough” (to say nothing of the fact that he should be the judge of that, not Coach, thank you very much).

he grew up in the south (which is like openly homophobic), it’s understandable that even if suzanne hadn’t done anything to make him think she was homophobic bitty wouldn’t necessarily feel safe coming out to her. this isn’t bitty ‘breaking the relationship’ it’s a canonically gay character being scared to come out to his parents and then them finding out

We don’t have a clear reason why he didn’t come out to his mother. Just because he doesn’t want to come out doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t feel safe. Coming out is complex. In Simon Vs./ Love, Simon, his hesitancy to come out wasn’t because he didn’t feel safe, he was supremely loved and supported, but it was a new thing, a pretty huge new thing, and it was daunting.

South = homophobic, that’s a pretty broad brush you’re painting with there. Yeah Bitty undoubtedly dealt with homophobia, but that doesn’t automatically connote that his parents are homophobes or bigots and as far as I’ve seen in the comic, his parents haven’t said or done anything to imply that.

Bitty hurt his mom. A lot. He never gave her a chance. And now he’s kissing his boyfriend after the Stanley Cup, hugging Alicia, ignoring his mom’s calls. That would be like jamming a knife in her heart and then twisting it.

Right before this, he didn’t tell his mom that he wasn’t coming home for summer until the last minute. This was his last summer before graduation and she must have been looking forward to it and treasuring it and he just *shrug* “gonna live with a friend instead mom”. Pretty dickish.

Being afraid to come out doesn’t absolve Bitty of the collateral damage he’s done and Suzanne doesn’t deserve to be thrown under the bus like she’s some bigoted homophobe. She’s a mom who is close to her son and doesn’t understand why he’s pulling away and he didn’t give her a chance.

first off, my original post wasn’t talking about bitty coming out it was talking about how differently coach and suzanne are going to react to learning that bitty had kept something from them. 

secondly, bitty had a /panic attack/ when he tried coming out to his mother recently. he might not feel unsafe, but he is 10000% not comfortable with the concept of coming out, and that’s okay. i could have members of my family tell me to my FACE that they aren’t homophobic and i still wouldn’t want to come out to them because i know it would change our relationship. but no go ahead and tell me, a  bi person, more about how coming out is complex. 

bitty is from a small town in southern georgia. saying the south is more likely to be homophobic and racist is not “painting it with a broad brush” or whatever the shit its just reality? im not saying the /entire/ south is homophobic. also i literally am not throwing suzanne under the bus at all and i literally said that i didn’t think she was homophobic? i love suzanne. she’s a fantastic mom if a little overbearing. coach might be distant but nowhere ever did i say that his family wasn’t supportive of him, or wouldn’t be supportive of him coming out. that’s not the point

“he never gave her a chance” ... again, he almost came out to her and then panicked before he could. there’s a reason, logical or not, behind why he didn’t want to come out to suzanne. also, someone doesn’t deserve your coming out. you don’t owe it to another person to come out to them. suzanne from what we see has been nothing but supportive of her son but that doesn’t = bitty being forced/expected to tell her that he’s gay. 

the summer thing is a stupid argument i’m sorry but bitty is a senior in college he doesn’t owe his parents staying at home? i only went home for the summer one time when i was at school. it’s fine if suzanne is hurt by that but bitty isn’t being a dick by not going home during the summer. hes 20/21 years old, he’s an adult who can make his own decisions. her seeing him hug the parents of his boyfriend who were literally at the game because their son is on the team shouldn’t be that big of a deal, and it probably isn’t to her. 

i’m not saying suzanne’s feelings are invalid. but when you’re an lgbtq+ person, you simply don’t know how the people around you are going to react if you come out, even if they aren’t homophobic. it’s ok for suzanne to feel upset that bitty didn’t come out to her, but that doesn’t automatically mean that bitty needs to apologize for it or feel bad that he didnt. you wanted to use love simon as an example, ok, lets. “coming out was supposed to be my thing” => suzanne is not entitled to have a personal moment when bitty came out to her. bitty came out his way and he doesn’t need to apologize for that? 

he grew up in the south (which is like openly homophobic), it’s understandable that even if suzanne hadn’t done anything to make him think she was homophobic bitty wouldn’t necessarily feel safe coming out to her. this isn’t bitty ‘breaking the relationship’ it’s a canonically gay character being scared to come out to his parents and then them finding out

Jack Laurent Zimmermann himself: