Embrace the Jeskai way.

“For sun’s sake, I just want a crab!" 

"I will be there.

It’s only manipulation when it’s intentional/premeditated. Otherwise it’s just your words having an influence on someone, i.e. The Concept Of Human Interaction.

Sometimes that influence is good, sometimes bad. But never malicious.

I'm sorry if my wording is poor, but I've dealt with too many people who would repeatedly do things that I have expressed that I dont like just to get my attention, and it ranged from bombarding my phone with texts, accusing me and my friends of hating them, and even making threats of suicide and sending self harm pictures. I have lasting trauna because of a "friend" repeatedly doing things that would trigger my episodes. Your fears are not an excuse to stop bettering yourself and working on your flaws, and your mental illness does not excuse toxic behavior.