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the crier stepped out into the mud, stopping at the fence splitting the field, and turned towards prince baelor and his brother with a deep breath. you already knew who he was about to announce. the thread tightened on your finger, choking the flesh and stopping the blood, though when you looked down it was unchanged from that morning. you flexed your hand and rubbed at the joint, your lips pinching at the phantom throb.

aerion.

he took delight in snapping your attention towards him, reminding you of his looming presence, niggling at you from afar.

the closer you got, the stronger the hold he had on your fate tie felt. his reach had its limit however; you’d noticed so after suffering through a week of his childish games during the last tourney but three moons back. the tugging had been insistent and never ending after you’d given your favour to another knight, keeping you up late at night even, only for it to stop suddenly as the distance grew between you when you travelled home.

the relief was immediate, but closely followed by a gaping absence, a throbbing grief for where aerion had burrowed and made himself home in the back of your mind. you were restless for the last portion of the trip home, squeezing your own finger in comfort to try and still your foolish need to move and get close again.

it had been like this for two years almost, dipping in and out of each others’ lives, tasting what it could be like together as aerion somehow got more brazen and clever with each meeting and you tried to ignore your budding fondness for him.

you weren’t sure of the exact date you’d first crossed paths, but you could remember the warmth of kings landing and the last of the preparation for egg’s name day celebration rushing around you as you followed on your mother’s heels, determined not to make a fool of yourself.

it was your first visit there as a lady in your own right, no longer a child, a girl holding tightly to your mother’s dress, but a woman that must make her own connections. it was for this reason that your father was looking after your younger brother, tomas, for the day instead of you or your mother.

you were taking lunch with a group of other lesser houses’ ladies and their daughters outside, sat quietly while the older women gossiped among themselves in between sips of wine. it was hot, as it always seemed to be in king’s landing, and your dress felt too thick. coming from the north, it was difficult to find dresses appropriate for the weather, and you only had so much money to spend on the higher priced tailoring at this end of the kingdoms, but the thick cotton you favoured was a touch too heavy for the heat of blaring sun.

your mother had a dress or two held back from her previous visits across the kingdom with your father, so she was faring better than you were, but you knew she’d run out of dresses made of airy material before the week was done and she’d soon be sweating alongside you.

you swallowed drily, and took a sip of your water, peeking longingly at one of the younger women sat with you as she fanned herself in the steady heat. a single drop of sweat trickled from behind her ear to her collarbone where it soaked into the delicate, twisted braid resting over her shoulder.

you looked back down to your hands and sneakily wiped the condensation from your glass into the folds of your dress, hoping the sweat wouldn’t stain the material too noticeably.

you had brought your embroidery with you; a handkerchief for your father that you’d had to restart three times over so far on your mother’s request. your skills in sewing, practical or decorative, were questionable, though you were determined to improve, so you had thought to take the spare time during the visit to keep practicing, hoping to seize the opportunity to ask your peers for any advice if they seemed friendly enough not to boast over your disadvantage.

just as you were starting on the second of your house’s three flowers, you pricked your finger roughly.

“seven bloody hells,” you swore under your breath, your finger rearing back before you sucked on it. you pulled it from your soft mouth at your mother’s harsh glare and dropped your head, your lips a thin, pinched line of regret even as you wanted to shake your hand out to ease the throbbing.

“hmm. unable to tell where the needle will be?” one of the other ladies spoke up, humming disapproval.

“it can be a terribly tricky thing to get the hang of when you’re first starting, i’m sure,” a second piped up before sipping at her wine with a smirk. “i remember my elissa struggling… when she was little.”

you kept your mouth closed, having no urge to tell them that you’d been learning since you were five as most girls did, you’d just never been able to pick it up quite as quick. the careful hand for fine details escaped you.

“perhaps you should find the maester to look at it if it was so painful as to yell. the walk may steady your hands for when you get back so there are no further accidents,” your mother suggested bluntly, giving you no option to decline.

you tightened your clenched hold on the handkerchief, thread hanging loose and needle discarded on the table beside you, and nodded with a wane smile.

“of course, mother.” you stood and left the garden, following the path back to the castle. when you looked down at the soft silk in your hand you wanted to cry, the tiniest speckles of blood stained the pale material from your finger.

you would try again. perhaps the fifth attempt would be the most fortuitous.

you wiped preemptively at your dry eyes, the familiar ache of building tears enough to have you reflexively reach up while quickening your pace to reach the maester’s working quarters.

“what upsets you, my lady?” a voice called out, pulling you to a temporary stop as you turned to find the man it came from.

his eyes were intrigued as he took in your wobbling pout and wide eyes, but he didn’t seem empathetic in his curiosity. you recognised him as a prince immediately from his pale hair and vivid purple eyes. he carried his grandfather’s targaryen looks proudly.

he raised his eyebrows expectantly when you stayed silent, staring. “well?”

“i pricked my finger, just a silly accident,” you tried to laugh off, your nerves turning into shambles over speaking to a targaryen without chaperone.

he scoffed.

“and so where were you hoping to go? to the maestar, to heal such a damning wound?” he mocked.

your lips pinched as he stepped closer, the cruel twist to his features became more evident, but you didn’t move as he lifted your wrist carelessly to gaze at the single, tiny pearl of blood gathering on the pad of your finger.

he cooed with an insincere sympathy, laughing as you tugged your hand away in barely concealed anger and offence.

“i believe the fresh air of the walk will do me more good than an actual visit to the maesters,” you said sharply, feeling your hand twitch and throb where you held it staunchly by your side. “i’m sure they’re quite busy.”

“quite.” he stared at you, like a brightly coloured insect he’d found beneath a rock. unsure if he wanted to poke and prod, but unwilling to look away. the silent attention pulled taut at your nerves.

“is there something i can help you with?” you finally asked, a little brusque, but more clearly anxious as you picked at the small wound with your nail. your manners left bereft and wanting.

“now, now,” he tutted with a barely contained smile. “do not snap at your prince, not when i was simply extending my concerns to a lady walking alone around the castle grounds.”

your eyes widened once more and you wanted to curse your loose tongue.

“please accept my sincere apology, my prince. it must be the heat that has me acting out of sorts,” you said, ducking into a deep curtsy and quickly turning on your heel. you walked away with speed, biting your lip and praying to the old gods and the new that he didn’t—

your hand tugged back towards him sharply, but when you looked he was still several paces away. aerion’s own hand had risen and he was looking just as confused as you were until his eyes caught on your hand and he tilted his head and closed the distance between you.

you saw a pale flash of red from his hand as he lifted yours once more, gentle this time as he rubbed his thumb over the thread linking your pinkies together.

his jaw was slack, the tip of his pink tongue visible behind his teeth as he tilted his head lower, enraptured by the invisible tie between you slowly developing thicker and stronger.

you ran the tip of your middle finger over his own tie and he shivered, the red grew bold in colour. his eyes darted up to yours and you held your breath.

he lifted your hand higher and took your injured finger in his mouth, pressing his tongue flat and broad against the pad to lap at the burst of blood until you came to your senses and pulled it back and stumbled out of his reach.

you cradled your hand to your chest, flushed and hot and no longer able to blame it on the high sun. you gawped at the smiling prince, unable to find words as he looked at you like he wanted a second taste.

without a word more you ran back to your mother and the other ladies as though he might’ve given chase. you slowed your pace as you got closer and stayed quiet for the rest of the day. though his spit had soon dried upon your skin, the heat of his tongue became unforgettable.

the last few days of the celebration were spent trying to avoid aerion as best you could, hoping the connection would break or grow weak, that the gods would realise their mistake. but it did no such thing and the red thread stayed tied tight and you could feel his eyes on you at all opportunities, sizing you up and seeking you out in the crowds.

you’d catch his lilac gaze across feast tables as he sat with his father and brothers, or over his shoulder, benches apart, as a play was performed in honour of eagon’s ninth name day. he found you at every turn, but made no move to come close, apparently aware of how skittish you were and adapting to it.

you’d thought you had maybe managed to lose his interest by the end of the week, having not spoken to him a second time and resisted with all your might the temptation to play and pull at the thread on your end. you could feel him sometimes, testing its give, but you’d ignored it until you’d gotten back home where you scratched and tugged at the thread freely, easing the urge that had grown recklessly in you every time you saw red in your peripheral.

you weren’t mindless, however, and you’d made sure your parents and little brother never caught you fiddling with what they’d see as air on the journey back.

you’d barely unpacked the evening of your arrival home, so distracted by the tie around your right finger, that you were caught by surprise when your parents called for you.

you left your travel trunk for your handmaid to see to in the morning and met with your mother and father in the small library. your mother pulled you to sit by her side, a warm smile gracing her face as she tucked you in tightly so the warmth of the fire would reach you. you longed for the warmth of the south as the snow of your home bled back into your bones.

“you know we’ve done our best to fend off unwanted proposals over the years,” you mother started as your father stared pensively into the fireplace. “tried to protect you for as long as we could.”

“of course,” you whispered as dread seeped in faster than the cold ever could.

“but it is no longer proper, not for a woman of your age,” you mother said. she stroked a gentle thumb over your round cheek, her touch light and fleeting. mourning.

“we’ve received an offer,” your father spoke up, finally looking at you. his gaze was heavier than it had been that morning, he looked at you differently. “we’re considering it.” your mother cleared her throat and your father sighed heavily and looked away. with a nod seemingly to himself he continued, “i’m going to accept.”

who would this man be? a knight, a lord, a kind man or a cruel one? someone powerful enough to have your father back down, at least. you’d always half-thought he’d push you towards becoming a septa with how he coveted you from other men in the region.

you thought back to aerion and wondered if he would stop this matrimony before it had chance to take place. if he heard news quick enough you thought there was potential; there had been enough rumours around the keep during your visit of his jealousy, enough comparisons of his dragon-like hoarding, that you’d believe he’d do so just to prove he could. a flash of his family’s power and wealth, and his control over even the most inconsequential things.

perhaps he’d do it by sending forth a counter offer your father would be unable to refuse. perhaps—

i’m going to accept.

“what house does he bear, father? do i know him?”

your father’s lips pursed.

“we don’t need to discuss this any further,” your mother interrupted smoothly. she ran a hand down your back comfortingly, but it set your further on edge. “the details have not been struck, you will know all you need to as the time comes. for now, you’ve had a long day or travel, you should go rest, as we should. we will speak in the morning.”

despite your unsatisfaction to her non-answer, you knew you’d get no more from her if you pushed. you nodded and bid them both a good night as you left with your heart racing.

before you reached the stairs, you saw your father’s solar door cracked open. with a brief look behind you, you went inside and thanked the old gods that he’d left a candle burning on his desk.

you couldn’t get his pensive look out of your head, the tense hold of his back as he’d refused to look at you, the grey of his beard glittering sharply in the firelight. and no matter how much your mother had smiled, you had seen the worry buried in the lines around her eyes.

you saw the letter, unfolded and abandoned on the corner of his desk.

“…my apologies for placing this letter among your belongings, lord fenn, it was imperative that we discuss this matter without any further delay. i’d have liked to do so in person but the knowledge of our childrens’ fate tie was only made known to me the morn you were set to ride and so…”

your breath caught and you flipped the top of the folded letter down to find the targaryen seal set in red wax.

slowly you released a thin breath and put the letter back down. you knew what it would say, you didn’t need to keep reading. aerion had told his father about you and your fate tie. he had sealed your lives together without a second thought, you had never lost his interest.

—

you pulled yourself back into the present and looked down to the grounds, letting your eyes drift over the opposing knight first before finding finding aerion’s eyes already set on you from where he sat atop his steed. it felt like he had a sixth sense as to where you were at any point in time with the way he could locate you in a crowd, as though you stood out in any regard.

his wrists were crossed nonchalantly over his saddle’s horn, the reigns loose in his hold as he gazed up at you with a small, patient smile. your lips pursed.

he was leant back in the saddle, satisfied and calm despite the charge he was about to ride. he’d caught you looking at the other man and you knew nothing good would come of it, regardless of it meaning nothing. you tugged discreetly at your thread and watched his smile widen before he trotted forward to face his uncle and father. after a brief look shared with his blood, he lowered his visor and turned back to head to his starting place. you watched anxiously, toes curling in your shoes.

it was a blur as the horses moved, your brows tugged together snugly as you desperately tried to keep your squinting eyes on the two men hurtling towards each other. aerion’s lance dropped low at the last moment and broke off into the knight’s leg.

you bit your tongue at the agonised yell, your face pinching in distaste. you didn’t delight in pain like your fated seemed to. you watched as he trotted along, his visor lifted now as he watched the other knight grasp at his bleeding leg with shaking hands.

his eyes lingered between the man and you, a sick pride flourishing in his chest. he was better.

he urged his horse forward with a subtle shift of his hips.

the knight’s squire stood by the injured knight’s side, just short of the horse’s back, where he tugged too roughly trying to release the lance head from his leg. every spurt of blood was accompanied by a new, sharply bitten swear echoing across the flat grounds. the joust would continue if the man didn’t forfeit or move from his horse and aerion was taking his time heading back towards his own squire and second lance.

the injured knight’s squire saw this and tried to corral the horse and his knight back to their end, desperate to hand him his own lance if he couldn’t relieve the pain.

with your heart beating like thunder you watched as aerion waited for the other knight to hitch his lance with tired arms before kicking his horse into action. you waited for him to drop his forearm again, but tugged at your fate thread hard before he could, flinching his arm off target enough to correct his purposely harmful aim. it still hit the knight in the ribs and knocked him from his horse, and aerion was skimmed at his shoulder, but a second lance was not dug deep into flesh and for that you were grateful. perhaps the knight would have a chance to live now.

“father, did you see that? prince aerion was barely even scathed,” your little brother chittered excitedly by your side, clapping along with the crowd as aerion paraded and peacocked for a moment before leaving the grounds free for the next set of knights.

you watched the injured man get carried off away from the stands and tried not to remember his face or name, the colours on his house flag. it’d be easier to ignore the damage aerion caused if you didn’t notice the man’s absence at the next games.

“one day i’ll be able to best prince aerion in a joust,” your brother continued, his arms flailing as he pretended to thrust an invisible joust forward. your father only hummed.

you sat quietly as another two sets of knights won and lost, their names barely having chance to register as your patience wore thin and your attention was pulled to aerion, out of sight but plucking at your thread. gentle twangs and tugs that felt carefully leading, like he was encouraging you to come find him.

your distraction throughout the next jousts must have not been as well hidden as you’d hoped as your father cleared his throat during a break between competitors.

“perhaps we should congratulate prince aerion on his win,” he suggested.

“and wish him luck for the next,” tomas added eagerly, already taking your hand to lead you from the stands despite your hesitance. your brother was barely seven, but his grip was strong as he tried to push through the crowd to get to aerion sooner, only slowing to look over his shoulder at your father to check he was still headed in the right direction.

you father had stayed silent behind you on the walk, only stepping forward once you reached the pair of kings guards stood outside the bright red tent. they recognised you easily enough, but your father still introduced himself for propriety’s sake.

ser roland crakehall let his eyes linger on you over your father’s shoulder for a moment before he dipped into the tent. you heard soft mutterings before aerion’s voice broke through rudely.

“i don’t want to see any guests, send them away, they can find entertainment with my cousin or daeron if he’s been unable to climb his horse,” he scoffed.

you felt heat rush to your face, anger over embarrassment, and you dropped your brother’s hand temporarily to rub harshly at your finger where your thread hung limp. you tugged it harshly, glaring at the tent and hearing ser roland explain exactly who was outside of aerion’s tent waiting to see him, your name whispered with purpose.

the air seemed to still before suddenly aerion was opening his tent flap with a frown, his thumb rubbing at his own threaded finger irritatedly. his eyes softened at the sight of you; you’d be tempted to call the look fond if his smug smile didn’t ruin it, the way he held his shoulders back full of pride and satisfaction. the caution you’d felt in his tugs not long before had all but disappeared now that you stood before him.

you knew he’d be insufferable about your appearance, and gods help you, you couldn’t help but let a small smile of your own grow; your anger all but fizzled out as quickly as it had grown.

“what a pleasant surprise,” he started, sparing but a glance and a nod for your father before looking back to you. “impressed by the performance so far?”

you wanted to roll your eyes, but a lady would do no such thing. and even with your mother absent from your side, busy with commitments back at home, her voice rang loud and you didn’t forget your manners. instead you opened your mouth to give a neutral review of aerion’s violence, but tomas interrupted first.

“it’s been fantastic, prince aerion, you were spectacular!” his big eyes looked up at aerion like he’d hung the stars and you pursed your lips in worry. aerion wasn’t known for his patience and this would be the first time he’d spoken to your brother since he was a toddler.

“is that so?” he asked, turning his attention down. he knelt, lowering himself to below your brother’s height and you stared on in shock. “and are you after becoming a knight yourself one day?”

tomas nodded enthusiastically, leaning into aerion’s orbit inadvertently.

it was easily done; you’d found yourself doing the same over the years, for as tiring and sharp as aerion was, he could be just as charming and quietly calm.

“then perhaps one day we shall train together, hm?” aerion offered, watching as your brother’s eyes got bigger in awe. you weren’t faring much better, unused to aerion playing so patiently, especially with a child, with someone he couldn’t gain something from. “i’m sure you’ll make a worthy opponent,” he joked. “you could train with me when you come to king’s landing to visit your sister.”

there it was.

you stiffened, your smile thinning out into a pinched grimace you tried to hide as soon as you felt it.

“isn’t that right?” he turned to you directly as he stood back up.

aerion delighted in winding you up; he knew you’d declined the proposal, or would have if you’d had the option, but he also knew your parents had said yes as soon as they’d received maekar’s letter all those years ago. this unfound patience, this slow courting, had been for your benefit to grow used to your bound fate. no matter how protective your parents were, you couldn’t really say no. not to him.

it was the lack of choice that curdled your stomach, though you had known all your life it would be like this. the way aerion liked to remind you of his power and parade your obedience around had you acting out like you were still a girl and not a grown woman.

it wasn’t as though you didn’t want to marry aerion. the gods had willed it and though you may have started this proposal hesitant to be fated to aerion brightflame, and the violence that followed him, he had managed to slowly burrow his way closer to your heart. like a rat in search of a warm, dry home.

there was just a part of you that couldn’t help but want to make it difficult for him as nothing ever had been for him before. your mother would call it petty difficulty, but it wasn’t. there was a fondness to your actions that you couldn’t ignore.

“that’s right, of course you can visit as often as you’d like,” you said to your brother. “though we don’t have to think of that right now, i won’t be leaving home any time soon.”

“hmm,” aerion’s mouth pulled down in a moue as he teased, “sooner than you think, perhaps. the gods grow impatient, as do i.”

“i wouldn’t want to test the gods’ patience,” you hummed.

he smiled. “smart girl.” pausing to fully take you in, he smiled as he registered what dress you were wearing. “you look beautiful as always, my lady. that colour suits you.”

“you had it made for me, my prince, i would have hoped you’d pick a colour you thought would flatter,” you said, your tone leaning more teasing than berating. aerion’s tongue poked at the corner of his lips, enjoying your bite, as toothless as it was.

“i won’t have my future wife dressed in anything less than what she deserves. you’re the one that insists on keeping your family crest and colours apparent.”

“we’re not yet married, my prince, it wouldn’t be proper to wear targaryen colours—“

“you could do as you pleased and i would make sure not a word was said about it,” he said decisively.

before you could rebut his push for you to be regaled in red and black, head to toe, every time you stepped foot in king’s landing, your father cleared this throat. aerion dragged his eyes away from you and over to him, barely hiding his immediate switch to impatient boredom at the interruption.

“your skills in jousting flourish each year, my prince.” your father could barely hide his distaste for the unnecessary violence and gore from the fight, but he pushed out the complimentary words nonetheless.

aerion paused, sizing your father up for a moment before looking over at your brother and then back at him. his eyes had dragged up in down in the same lazy way they had to you, but there was no warmth to be found in his gaze now. it instead felt unpleasantly dismissive as opposed to heavily wanting.

“have you spoken to my father today, lord fenn?” the question caught your father off guard and he floundered a for a second before shaking his head and answering no. “hm. you should visit us after the tourney; come back in one of our carriages, im sure your wife will enjoy the sun for a while longer instead of returning to the cold so soon.”

“prince aerion, my wife is not with us on this visit. im not sure—“

“you should discuss it with my father, he has been eager to speak with you on other matters,” aerion said, turning away with a sharp sniff, his nose scrunching as he faced you once more. “he’ll be having lunch with my uncle and cousin in their tent i suppose. you know the way?”

your father pursed his lips at the unsubtle dismissal. he nodded once, stiffly.

“lovely, i’m sure little aegon will be there to entertain the boy,” he gestured down to your brother who had begun to peek inside aerion’s tent. with a sharp whistle from your father tomas moved back to his side with a lowered head, one hand gripping the fabric of your father’s britches behind his knee. when aerion saw your father hesitate, eyes twitching to you, he continued, “not to worry, i can stay with your daughter while you discuss it. it’s not proper to make a lady walk back and forth in the mud and heat, hm? she’ll be in safe keeping with the king’s guard nearby, and i’m sure i can keep her entertained until you return.”

you resented the way you were being spoken about as if you weren’t present, but you’d grown used to it from being young. and you knew tugging on your fated connection would only encourage aerion to do so again in the future to garner a reaction. you almost had to provide attention to him like a treat, reinforcing positive behaviour instead of when you wanted to react in response to his more vile habits.

you watched your father clench his jaw as he realised the trap he was laid in; unable to say no to the prince without upsetting him despite the impropriety of leaving behind his unwed daughter alone with just her fated. it would have every bone in his body screaming in protest, but as the king’s guards shifted on their feet, watching, your father could do nothing but nod silently.

a part of you hated him for it; his cowardice and submission, but as you felt aerion guide you into his tent with a light hand between your shoulders you felt akin with your father. you were not so stupid as to be unaware of the position aerion had placed your family in, even if you were secretly ashamed of how quickly they rolled over for him.

once in the tent, the front flap closed once more and the king’s guard left posted on the other side, aerion surprised you by linking your pinkies.

your eyes darted down to look at where the tie had shortened with your proximity, wrapping and tangling around your fingers tightly to keep them together after being so far apart for so long. seeing your tie act so possessively, so needy, only encouraged aerion you knew. you looked for longer than necessary, entranced by a short, loose drape tickling at your other dangling fingers.

waiting for an explanation or for his next move, you looked back up at him.

“why do you avoid me?” he asked softly, once again doing the opposite of what you’d expected. he stared into your eyes deeply, unwaveringly focused on you in his tenuous grasp.

“i- i don’t, i do not avoid you, m—“

“you do,” he corrected before you could continue to stutter out an excuse. “you’re frightened,” he spoke aloud your secret plainly, offering space for your fear to breath. “you need not fear me, we were made for each other by the gods; old or new, i care not to know. but there is nothing to be afraid of, i know you shall not disappoint me.”

your eyes darted away, his words settling an anxiety deeper into your bones than before.

“you cannot guarantee that,” you whispered. finding a pinch of bravery at your very core, even as you hid from his gaze, you continued in your hushed tone, “and you cannot guarantee you won’t disappoint me.”

he scoffed, like the idea wasn’t worth thinking about.

“you want for compassion,” he said after a brief silence, reading you easier than a book.

he tilted your chin back to face him with his spare hand, his eyes amused, almost kind. you pursed your lips, feeling petulant.

“you will learn to want for your prince and what he gives you.” his hand dropped to your waist, his fingers rubbing at the cooling silk he’d draped you in, rubbing as though hoping to dig through the sleek material to feel your skin instead.

your ‘brows tugged down into a frown at his words, delighting him further as his sly smile grew.

“it’s not wrong to hope for tenderness,” you let the words continue to slip, contrasting the hand reaching towards his belt. the pads of your fingers trailed across the soft, expensive leather, starting from his stomach and ending at his hip.

“aren’t you tired of gentle hands and careful words?” he asked, hushed, his voice placating. “you may enjoy my touch more than you are expecting.”

his fate-tied finger curled unbearably tighter before releasing, his full hand moving instead to hold yours more securely. he brought it up to kiss your knuckles, his pale lashes fluttering over high cheekbones as his lips brushed your soft skin, before he rested your palm over his heart.

“you’re spoiled,” he noted, not unkindly, of your need for sweet handling. “but if i cannot oblige my tenderhearted wife, who am i to bend to?”

“i’m not yet your wife—“

“yet.” his thumb rubbed at your pinky finger laid across his doublet, catching the buzzing, red thread. “but inevitably.”

your gaze dropped to his plush lips, watching the words form on his tongue. you almost wished you felt a cold indifference to the prince, but his touch sent bees swarming between your ribs.

he tilted his head close and nuzzled your noses gently before nudging at your cheek, then finally letting his lightly parted lips brush against yours.

he stayed gentle in the kiss for longer than you’d expected, but the eager brush of your tongue, curious against the gentle curve of his upper lip, had him tugging you forward and curling over you. his hands moved to cradle you close, stilling your nervousness with an arm around your waist and stealing your breath with a hand at the back of your neck.

you were all encompassed. it should’ve felt claustrophobic, it should’ve felt embarrassing knowing his guards were mere feet away, likely listening, barely separated by thick cotton, but it didn’t.

wantonly, you tugged at his doublet, making no real move to escape him. your elbows were tucked in close to your ribs, your hips close to his, and you begged with the gods not to let anyone see how you moaned softly, desperately, into his mouth as he gasped and groaned against yours.

his hand dropped to your backside and your mouth moved to kiss along his jaw, desperate to find the air he was insistent on stealing from your lungs. you quietened your whines with a bite to his shoulder, growing frustrated when he laughed, unable to feel the strength of your teeth through the thick material lining his jacket.

feeling mean, but feeling free of consequences, you dropped one of your hands back to his belt, using it as a guide to find his stiffening cock through his trousers and squeezing it. his laughter broke off into a moan, huffed directly into your ear. the sound so addictive you were ready to do it again until he pushed you back.

your stomach dropped as you stared at him with wide eyes. you’d gone too far, you’d acted like a whore and now he wasn’t interested, you’d—

“how long do you think your father will last with mine before he’s sent back?”

you blinked; aerion’s hands were suddenly dropping to his belt, fiddling with the complicated clasp shaped like a dragon’s head as you tried to catch up. why were you talking about your fathers right now?

“depends,” you huffed, a little out of breath. aerion dipped close to kiss you once more and your eyes closed at the here-and-gone-again feeling. “how badly have you worn away at your father’s patience this morning?”

aerion scoffed, finally pulling his belt free and working at the loose tie to his britches before pausing, a serious look coming over his handsome face. “hm. perhaps we’ve not got long then.”

he tugged you back towards him.

“aerion—“

“the sooner we put a targaryen baby in that belly, the sooner the wedding shall have to be,” he whispered. your heart thumped painfully loud and your stomach lit alight with flutters. you shouldn’t. your mother would kill you, aerion was just testing your strength of will. “no more delaying it, my sweet.”

he kissed your cheek with a wet smack and began lifting your skirt.

you watched him drop to his knees before you, trousers half open and cheeks a ruddy, excitable pink as his hands climbed higher up your thighs, spreading them as you struggled to stay stood steadily beneath his eager pawing. heat spread thickly, like honey, between your legs and the urge to tell aerion to stop disappeared.

your right hand drifted to his blonde hair, tugging at what you could of the short length to keep his eyes up on you.

“it would satisfy the gods?” aerion licked his lips at your question, his eyes flickering to what laid between your spread legs for a moment.

“it will satisfy me,” he answered truthfully. “and i will satisfy you.”

the slow brush of his thumb back and forth across the soft skin of your inner thigh broke your gaze momentarily, a shyness overcoming you, even as you nodded. with a growing smile, you held up the ruffle of your dress skirt at the front and loosened your hold on his hair.

the confidence in his voice that he would please you had you forgetting the precarious position you were both in, and the first hungry lick of his clever tongue to your cunt had your body singing and your voice calling out louder than it should have given the lack of privacy the tent offered.

he’d managed to wring your first orgasm out of you and stood to shove your hand down the front of his open britches by time the familiar sound of your father’s voice returned outside the tent.

you laughed into aerion’s snarling mouth, legs still shaky and sweat clinging to your temples, as your father called for you.

They aren’t strict or anything, in fact they loved you. They loved you in the only way they knew how: through control.

But in their eyes, they werent being cruel, and were just preparing you for the life Eywa intended.

You were told not to rush through life. Taught not to seek a mate too soon, not to entertain the attention of boys just yet, and to devote yourself to the Tsahìk’s teachings.

Right now, it felt very far away as your body lay on the soft grass, breathing heavily after the intense orgasm Neteyam had just given you. His strong arms were wrapped around your waist from behind, spooning you as he pressed kisses behind your ear.

You squeezed his hand that rested on your waist in which he squeezed back. You turned onto your back and looked up at him. He leaned down and met your eyes before you pulled him into a deep kiss, arms wrapping around his neck.

You both sighed into the kiss. When you pulled away, he tried to lean in again but you placed a finger on his lips, stopping him. “...Neteyam,” you whispered, looking away while your arms stayed around his neck.

He hummed, before pulling you back into another kiss, and when he pulled away, he brushed the hair from your face gently. “I missed you, baby…”

You didn’t respond and just let him hold you even though you knew you shouldn’t. You had already ended things with him weeks ago. You told him it was over. Yet here you were again, letting him touch you like you still belonged to him.

You had heard the elders talking about pairing one of the huntresses in the clan with the Olo’eyktan’s first son for the upcoming mating ceremony in the next moons.

It hurt more than you wanted to admit.

That was why you gave Neteyam that stupid excuse, telling him you wanted a break because you had fallen out of love.

After all, it wasn’t as if your relationship was anywhere near actual mating; the two of you were strictly forbidden. Hell, you could get yourself killed if your parents ever found out that you hadn’t been a virgin for a long time, all because you had been secretly dating Neteyam.

At first, he didn’t believe you. He even laughed and said it wasn’t a good prank. But your face told him you were serious. The pain in his eyes that day still stayed with you.

After that, you started distancing yourself from him. You worked more with the elders knowing he couldn’t approach you easily when others were around.

But Neteyam kept coming back to you anyway. He would get himself injured on purpose just to have a reason to see you. Every visit was supposed to be quick and professional, but most nights ended with him fucking you senseless, your soul feeling like it was leaving your body.

Even though you kept telling him to stop being foolish, and warning him about the danger of getting caught, he never listened. He just refused to believe you really fallen out of love with him, not when his heart was still so ready to tear down the stars and give you everything you thought was impossible.

“You must stop this, sneaking me out into the forest like this… I told you that I—”

Neteyam cuts you off by pulling you into another sloppy kiss. He moved on top of you again, lifting your legs to wrap around his waist as he rubbed his cock against your pussy. You pulled away from the kiss and pushed his chest, sitting up.

“I said stop.”

Neteyam’s eyebrows knitted together in pain as he looked at you. You had to turn your face away because seeing him like that made your chest hurt too much. “I’m sorry… I don’t know what I did wrong. Why are you doing this, baby?” he whispered, reaching for your hands on your lap.

You swatted his hand away and grabbed your loincloth, fastening it around your waist. “I’ve told you already... I don’t feel the same anymore. It’s as simple as that.”

Neteyam sat up beside you, pulling on his own, his eyes never leaving your face. “I don’t believe you, not even a little,” he choked out, his voice cracking. “Please... tell me what’s happening. I’ll fix it, I’ll do anything you ask of me, just talk to me. You may tell me any lie, but don’t ask me to believe that your love has simply vanished…”

You fixed your hair and top with shaking hands then turned toward the village. But before you could walk away, he grabbed your wrist. When you looked at him angrily, he let go reluctantly, eyes dropping to the ground with trembling lips.

“Why won’t you tell me anything?” Neteyam asked, his voice thick with emotion as he stared at you. “We were whole before this... we never even fought, and I made sure to give you every piece of me that I could… whatever burden you’re carrying… let me bear it with you. Please.”

He stared at your back as you breathed, listening to every word he said. “What part of ‘I fell out of love’ do you not understand, Neteyam?” you replied. “We’re simply not meant to walk the same path. There’s a far better match for you out there—”

“I don’t want anyone else,” he cut in, raising his deep voice. “I only want you…”

You finally turned to face him, biting your lip hard. “Well, I don’t.” Your eyes met his golden ones, now glistening with unshed tears.

He looked like you had just stabbed him, his ears pinned back and his tail stopped moving completely. “Don’t say that… please,” he whispered, stepping closer to you. “You’re lying to me... I know you are. I can see it in your eyes.”

“Believe whatever you wish but you must stop coming to me. Stop sneaking into my hut. Stop… everything!”

Neteyam frowned. “I love you, y/n…”

You felt tears burning hot behind your eyes once again. You desperately wanted to tell him everything, about your endless worries, what you had overheard, and how you’d wanna be in his arms again. But the words remained heavily stuck in your throat, refusing to come out.

“I have to go. Do not follow me.”

You knew both of you had no real say in whatever the council decided for your futures. You told yourself you were doing both of you a favor, even if it was breaking you inside.

It wasn’t long before Neteyam found out about his own arranged mating. He sat through the meeting, nodding along to everything they said, but his mind was elsewhere. He was connecting the dots, realizing this was probably why you suddenly ended things with him.

After it ended, he left as fast as he could and went straight to look for you. He was lucky to find you alone. When you heard a footsteps, you already knew it was him, so you kept your back turned and continued wiping the jars.

“Is that it? You’re letting me go just because I’m to be arranged with another?”

You sighed, placing the jar down a little too hard against the wood before turning to face him, looking him straight in the eyes. “Yes.”

“Why?”

You scoffed, crossing your arms. “Why not? Do you really think we could go somewhere from this?”

Neteyam furrowed his brows and stepped even closer, braids swinging, his tall frame towering over you as his ears pinned back. “So you’re just going to throw me away? Throw us away? Just like that?”

“What else can I do?!” you shouted. “What can you do?! The Council of Elders has already spoken. You cannot defy them!”

“I can,” he stated, his golden eyes blazing. “And I will. If that’s the only hurdle between us, I’ll stand before them and end this arrangement myself.”

Your eyes widened i shock, you opened your mouth, but the breath caught in your throat, forcing yourself to speak. “…If you do that, you’ll never see my face or hear my voice again, Neteyam. I mean every word.”

You watched his eyes widen as he looked away, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard, “What do you want me to do then? Just force myself into this? You know how much my heart belongs to you. Why won’t you let me fight for us?”

You turned your back to him completely, refusing to let him see the pain on your face. “There’s nothing left to fight for. This was bound to happen sooner or later anyway... I’ve been disobeying my parents for far too long already.”

Neteyam stepped closer and wrapped his arms around you from behind. He buried his face in your neck, whimpering as he breathed in your scent. “Please… do not do this. It hurts, baby. It really hurts.”

You swallowed hard, your eye twitching as you felt the warmth of his tears burning against your neck. You pried his hands from around your waist and turned back around to face him. “Go. You must meet the girl. And wipe those tears away.” You snapped your gaze aside, utterly unable to keep looking at his expression.

“I—”

You clenched your jaw and pushed him to the entrance. “Just go, Neteyam. Please. Stop making this any harder.”

It felt like your heart was disintegrating into a thousand pieces as you watched him walk away. His shoulders were slumped, his posture broken, looking like he had to drag the entire weight of the world just to take a single step away from you.

The two of you kept your distance from each other, against your will. He knew very well how much you still wanted him, just like you knew how badly he still craved you.

You later found out that the woman he was arranged to mate with was Reyna’lin. She was one of the best huntresses in the clan, beautiful, amd talented. You weren’t surprised she was chosen.

You often saw them together around the village, walking side by side, talking and getting to know each other. Sometimes they went deeper into the forest together.

However, his gaze always found you, even when you tried to hide. You looked for him too, only to make sure you could avoid him.

Right now, you were talking with the sky-traders who had just returned. And from the corner of your eye, you saw them together. She was holding onto his biceps, pulling him toward the offerings while smiling brightly. She looked perfect beside him, there was no doubt she was one of the most beautiful girls in the clan.

Visiting Mo’at more often for extra lessons helped distract you from thinking about him. You knew there was a possibility something was forming between Neteyam and Reyna’lin. You wouldn’t even blame her for he’s a good man. Majority of the girls in the clan would feel their knees weaken every time he walked by and smiled at them politely.

Your thoughts were interrupted when a female voice called from outside. “Is anybody here?”

You wiped your hands on a cloth and opened the curtain. Your eyes widened when your eyes landed at Reyna’lin and Neteyam standing there. “Good day,” she said, flipping her hair while squeezing his arm. “My boyfriend thought climbing a tree without looking was a good idea. Now he’s injured. Mo’at told us to go here, so I guess you’ll have to do it. Can you make it fast?”

You opened the curtain wider. “Ah— yes, come in.” For a second, time felt like it slowed down when your eyes met Neteyam’s. You quickly looked away. “Just lay him on the mattress then you can go.

Reyna’lin raised an eyebrow at you. “I’m not leaving my boyfriend here. Why can’t I stay while you treat him?” She crossed her arms.

You waved your hands. “We cannot show the herbs to anyone. It’s not safe for the wound if someone stays inside during treatment.”

She stepped closer, eyes narrowing. “Are you saying I carry dirt on me?”

“No! I’m only saying it’s safer this way. If he got injured from climbing trees, the wound might be serious.” You gulped.

Reyna’lin was about to argue again when Neteyam spoke up. “Reyna’lin, just go. It’s already hurting.”

She rolled her eyes, walked back to him, and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be back, okay?” She patted his shoulder before leaving.

You gulped again, ignoring the ache in your chest after seeing that. You nodded at her as she walked out. Then you approached Neteyam. “Where’s your wound?” He pointed at his chest, you examined it and saw it was a deep open wound, probably from tree bark.

You took your premade herbs and sat on the mattress beside him, keeping a respectful distance. Theb began wiping the wound with a clean cloth, making him hiss from the sudden contact.

Even after almost a week of silence, he couldn’t stop looking at you.

As you applied the herb, he bit his tongue to hold back a groan. You remembered the old days when you would scold him for getting injured so often. Back then your kelku was filled with banters and laughter when you were alone together, now it’s filled wit silence.

Neteyam took his time examining your face. He watched how your eyebrows moved when you focused on his wound, how your nose scrunched when you pressed the cloth against his skin, and how you bit your lip or gulped often.

He just couldn’t stop admiring you.

A strand of hair fell onto your face, so he reached out and tucked it behind your ear. You looked up at him and leaned in closer. His eyes widened, gaze dropping to your lips as he started leaning in too.

Just when he thought you were about to kiss him, you pulled away and grabbed the bowl behind him. His ears fell back in embarrassment. He mumbled, “...Sorry,” and bowed his head.

Your heart skipped a beat when he finally spoke after staying quiet since Reyna’lin left. You nodded your head, feeling heat rise up your neck from being so close to him.

Then, for some reason, you were glad you had finished treating his wound, wrapping the bandage tightly around his chest to cover the open cut.

You patted his forearms out of habit, like you always did when treating him. You ignored what you just did even though he noticed it too.

You stood up and went to your jars, then approached him again as he sat up. “Here. apply this every evening,” you instructed, placing the jar in his hands. “The paste will draw out heat from the wound and keep the flesh clean while new skin forms beneath it. If you neglect it, the cut will heal poorly and leave a thicker scar.”

He looked at the jar in your hand, then back up at your eyes. You gulped when your gazes met. “I will not.”

You flinched at his response. “Come again?”

“You heard me. I. will. not.”

“That’s not a suggestion, Neteyam. You must. The flesh won’t mend as it should otherwise.” You pressed your eyebrows together, not liking his stubbornness.

“Then let your own hands tend to it. Surely you wouldn’t leave your patient to dress his own wound. What if I were to do it poorly?”

You scoffed at his attempt and pressed your tongue against your teeth. “Then you’ll have only yourself to blame. Or have Reyna’lin tend to it. Surely she would not mind helping her boyfriend. I’ll be far too occupied once the others return from patrol anyway.”

Neteyam stepped closer, pushing the jar against your chest until your back hit the counter. “And I said no. Either you tend to it yourself or I shall let the wound remain open. If it scars, then so be it.”

You rolled your eyes. “Did you do this on purpose as well? Injure yourself again just to trouble me?”

A faint smile tugged at his lips. “Perchance I did. Is it working?”

“If you won’t take it, Neteyam, then stop wasting both my time and yours.”

He still refused to take the jar from your hand. “I would never call seeing you a waste of time, Y/n. I won’t let anyone tend to my wound. Not even my grandmother. If these hands are to heal me, I want them to be yours.”

You felt yourself getting pissed. “You cannot be this stubborn. Just apply the herb yourself. Why must you make this so difficult?”

He took another step toward you, leaving barely any space between your bodies. “Because I want you to… If you refuse, then I shall tell grandmother that my healer has neglected my wound.”

A humorless grin spread across your face. “Are you threatening me?”

“If that’s what it takes to see you…” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Then yes.”

You shook your head. “Stop this, Neteyam.”

His body pressed against yours, trapping you against the counter. He brought his mouth close to your ear, whispering. “I miss you so much, Y/n. Do you not miss me too?”

You bit your lip hard, trying not to moan when you felt his hard cock pressing against you through his loincloth. His hands moved down to your ass, squeezing gently while his fingers brushed your tail.

He sucked on your earlobe, knowing exactly how sensitive you were there. “Tell me you don’t miss my touch. Tell me you don’t miss me.”

Your thighs rubbed together, breathing getting heavier. “N-Neteyam…” you groaned, pulling on his hair to try and push him away. But your body arched toward him instead, wanting him closer.

He kept whispering against your ear, hands still on your ass. “Let me take care of you again, baby. Let me make you feel good like before, please…”

You were about to give in completely when you heard footsteps outside. Reyna’lin’s voice carried through the air as she bid farewell to her friends and headed toward your hut. You pushed Neteyam away, heart racing. “Move.”

Reyna’lin escorted him back to his family that night. She even gave you looks, implicitly telling you not to make any move on him.

You felt sick to your stomach, really.

-

You let out a hiss when the heavy grinding rock slipped, striking your finger instead of the medicinal leaves you were supposed to be crushing. Grimacing, you brought the finger to your lips, blowing over the throbbing skin, only to hear a sigh from a woman standing just behind you.

“Sorry, Tsahìk,” you murmured, ducking your head in apology.

Mo’at stepped forward, placing a hand upon your shoulder. “One whose thoughts wander far beyond the forest shouldn’t be tending to the wounds within it.”

You gave her a small, sheepish smile, leaning into her comforting touch. “It won’t happen again.”

She gently adjusted the lace at the collar of your top before speaking, “The clan gathers by the hearth in celebration while you stay here. Leave the returning warriors to the hands of the other healers for a time.”

“I insist. I want to help.”

“Your thoughts are elsewhere.“

You assured her it was nothing more than a simple lack of rest. Though she didn’t look convinced, she gave your shoulder a parting squeeze and urged you to find your sleeping mat the moment the opportunity arose.

But before you could slip away, your friends caught you by the arms, dragging you right into the village. The great communal campfire crackled, a group of young hunters had gathered right across from you, their laughter booming over the sparks.

“What about you, y/n?” your friend, Ayrein, asked from your right, her eyes gleaming as she pointed toward the young men laughing in front of you. “What do you think of those guys? Aren’t they handsome?” She nudged your side playfully.

Your eye twitched, “Uhhh…”

Ayrein let out an exaggerated groan. “There she is... Teyanä, I told you she’d dodge the question again.”

The two began arguing over their little bet, each insisting they had predicted your answer correctly and wagering tonight’s dinner as if you weren’t sitting right in front of them.

“I guess they’re.. okay,” you said, glancing toward the group of young men. Both of them looked at you, waiting for more, but you just shrugged your shoulders. “…That’s it.”

“That’s it?!”

“Don’t be boring, y/n,” Ayrein shook your shoulder and turned your head so you would look at the boys. “Just look at them! The finest warriors in the clan, and every one of them is unmated. They keep us safe, bring back our food, and you’re seriously telling me not a single one has caught your eye? Look again, they’re all fine!”

However, your gaze went to the side where you saw Neteyam talking to the children, smiling down at them as he gave them meat.

Your heart skipped at the sight. You had always known how naturally children gravitated toward him. Perhaps it was because he was the eldest, or the kindness simply came as easily to him as breathing. Watching him make them laugh warmed your heart in ways you wished it no longer could.

“...Really fine,” you mumbled.

Ayrein covered her mouth to hide a giggle while Teyanä simply pouted, reaching over to steal a piece of roasted meat from her leaf-plate. “By the way, Tey,” Ayrein said between bites, “why aren’t ya with your hunter?”

Teyanä brushed a long braid over her shoulder, “He said we’re going out into the forest tonight. He has been planning something since sunrise and told me to just be ready.”

“Then why are you still here?”

Teyanä giggled, a deep blush rising on her blue skin. “I’m already prepared, sister. I believe we’re going to mate tonight. I told him I’m in my heat cycle, so I expect he’s going to do something about it.”

“Ma Eywa! Seriously?! Right in front of Y/n too?!” Ayrein glared at her, making a sound of mock disgust before wrapping an arm around you to pull you into a protective hug. “Ignore her. She’s a disgrace.”

Teyanä crossed her arms, a sly smirk playing on her lips. “Do not act so innocent, Ayrein. As if you didn’t just return from the brush of a male’s tongue between your thighs before you walked over here.”

“Hey! No vulgar words in front of Y/n!” Ayrein warned. You chuckled. “It’s alright, Ayrein.”

They looked at each other, before Teyanä finally broke the silence. “No offense, Y/n, but are you really not going to seek a mate anytime soon?”

Ayrein’s smirk faded into a frown, and she nudged your arm gently with her shoulder. “Yeah... Are your parents still... y’know?”

You offered them a small smile and looked on the dancing fire. “I suppose so. I just... I don’t see myself pursuing anyone right now. It’s not that my parents would forbid it, they would just rather I wait.”

“But do you want to? You’re already of age!”

You let out a sigh, your gaze drifting toward the group of young warriors sitting nearby, laughing as they stole food from one another’s plates. “I don’t mind the idea. I just don’t think any of the men you keep trying to pair me with are the ones I would choose.”

“Then go for my brother!” Ayrein said, making you and Teyanä exchange a glance before she continued with a wide grin, “He’s one of the clan’s cooks and I believe he prepared the very meat you’re eating right now, so if you choose him, he will surely keep your bowl full of it.”

You felt a drop of sweat at the suggestion, murmuring, “I don’t believe that’s a wise choice, Ayrein... I’m older than him.”

She tossed her hair over her shoulder with a huff. “Yeahvlike a year! He’s mature, skilled, and gentle, and the more I think on it, the more I see how well your spirits would match.”

Teyanä whistled, nudging your side. “This is the first time I’ve ever heard her offering her own blood to anyone. Ayrein, why the change of heart?”

Ayrein rolled her eyes, scoffing, “It’s just that the other young women here are too entitled, and my brother is one of a kind... he’s exactly the kind of man who could win you over, Y/n.” she winked.

The next day, Ayrein introduced you to her big brother, whose name is Eykxan. You were familiar with him as one of the cooks, but you weren’t really used to talking to boys since your parents didn’t recommend it. However, this guy immediately took an interest in you.

As Ayrein had said, he started giving you food. Every time he saw you, he offered you one of the meals before anyone else could get skme. He also let you taste his new dishes first, letting you try them before the others.

Eykxan was very gentle with you. He always made sure to give you what you wanted and looked for. He told you that before he courted you, he would first court your parents for their permission to take you as his mate.

You just kept nodding and giving him a warm smile, making him flush every time. He was actually serious about it. After two weeks, he already got your father’s approval for always bringing your family early dinners.

Your mother, however, didn’t share everyone else’s opinion of him. During meals, she would always send you looks whenever he sat too close, telling you not to encourage his attention.

Not that you ever did.

The very thought of someone trying to win your heart left a bitter taste in your mouth, for it had belonged to Neteyam long before Eykxan entered your life.

That only made the guilt worse as you hated thinking about him while another man was openly pursuing you, especially when Neteyam himself was meant to be spoken for.

Although Eykxan seemed determined to earn your affection. Every time he came to visit, he arrived with freshly picked flowers in hand, offering them with the same proud smile feeling that each and every gift brought him one step closer to your heart.

Yet every time you looked at them, you found yourself frowning instead. A good thing is that he remembered that you liked flowers, but never that you disliked seeing them plucked from where they bloomed.

Someone else knew how much you hated that.

You remembered the day Neteyam laughed when you told him you disliked picking real flowers because they withered too quickly and you hated stripping the forest of its living beauty. He had only smiled, calling you adorable that night.

Then the very next day, he returned with a bouquet of flowers woven from fabeics. Holding it out to you with that smile, he scratched the back of his neck and said, “You told me you didn’t like real flowers, baby. But you never said anything about woven ones.”

You forced a smile though, not wanting to hurt Eykxan’s feelings. “Thank you, Eykxan.”

“Of course, darling,” he said before grabbing your hand and kissing the back of it. You smiled awkwardly and pulled your hand back, placing the flowers on the grass.

“By the way, you should ease in with the... names. And the touching as well. My mother isn’t fond of either. I hope you understand.” You offered him a polite smile.

“I do understand,” Eykxan let out a chuckle. “But y/n, we’re alone. Surely you don’t think I would disrespect you.” His hand rested against your waist. “I’m only trying to make you feel comfortable, I would never do such a thing.”

Your eye twitched. “And I said no. I don’y like it when... you do that.”

He looked at you before withdrawing his hand. “Of course.” He smiled, “My bad. Thought we had grown close enough for something as harmless as that.”

A knot formed in your stomach. “Sorry.”

“Yknow, Y/n… we should—”

“Eykxan.”

Before he could finish his sentence, a voice called out from behind you. You both turned your heads to the source.

Your heart dropped when you saw Neteyam standing there. The boy beside you quickly sat up and bowed respectfully. “Sir!”

Neteyam looked at him with a serious expression. “The kitchens are short-handed and the evening meal begins soon. Tell me, what excuse am I supposed to give the Olo’eyktan for your absence?”

Eykxan looked nervous. “I’m sorry… I just—”

Neteyam cut him off. “Go.” He pointed toward the village, telling him to leave. Eykxan didn’t even glance at you before walking away fast.

When he left, you sighed then picked up the flowers and were about to leave too. Before you could take a step, Neteyam grabbed your wrist, you turned around, heart beating fast when your eyes met his.

“Are you okay?”

You pulled your wrist away and gave him a small smile. “Yes.”

Neteyam stepped closer. “He was making you uncomfortable.”

You shook your head. “No, he wasn’t, Neteyam. He just gave me flowers.”

His gaze fell on the flowers in your hand. He scoffed, braids swinging as he moved even closer. “Yeah? Are you trying to convince yourself?”

You frowned. “What are you implying?”

Neteyam tilted his head. “I’m implying how you dislike freshly picked flowers. That your tail lashes aggressively when you grow uneasy, and your left eye twitches every time you lie. Just as it is doing now.”

You looked away. “You don’t know me.”

Neteyam grinned. “I do. Far better than he ever will.”

You stepped back. “Just leave me alone, Neteyam. I refuse to see you—” Before you could finish, he gently pushed you against the tree and pulled you into a kiss. You stumbled into him, swallowing your words.

His hand held your jaw as he deepened the kiss. When his other hand moved to your waist, you gasped, giving him the chance to slide his tongue into your mouth. You felt his smirk against your lips when your hands moved to his biceps instead of pushing him away.

You pulled away first, keeping your head lowered as you stared at the floor with a deep frown, whispering, “We shouldn’t be doing this…”

Neteyam refused to step back, his warmth remaining flush against yours as he asked, “Why?”

You bit your lip, avoiding his gaze as you murmured, “Reyna’lin might see us, and I… I don’t wish to bring another woman such misery.” You tried to unwrap your arms from his shoulders, but his hands held yours in place, “Then don’t bring it upon me either.”

“What?”

You looked up at him with furrowed brows as he leaned in to press a kiss against your cheek, his breath trembling as he whispered, “Don’t make me miserable too… I cannot endure this life without you.”

“Oh, Neteyam…” You held his cheeks, he closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. He pulled you into another kiss hands moved from your waist down to your ass, squeezing and making you hiss.

You kissed him back just as hard, fingers tangling in his braids and pulling him tighter. The jealousy from knowing someone else could be having this made you kiss him even more possessively.

Neteyam groaned into your mouth, his hands gripping your waist before he pulled back to breathe, his chest heaving as he gasped, “I cannot stop thinking about you…”

You bit your lip, gulping hard as you stared up at him, “And what would your future mate think of this?”

Neteyam shook his head fast, ears pinning back as his golden eyes started to water, desperate to convince you as he choked out, “She’s not my future mate. I’ll never give her or anyone else that part of me... it’s all yours to keep.”

You looked away fromn his face, swallowing the lump in your throat as you whispered, “Don’t say that…”

“Please... Don’t push me away again.”

You felt your own eyes sting, heart dropping when you heard him sniffle. You didn’t like seeing Neteyam cry. Groaning in frustration, you pulled him back into a kiss. “You’re so irresponsible.”

Neteyam brought your face closer and kissed you, starting slow until you parted your lips. He responded by placing a hand on your leg and throwing it over his hip.

Your mouths were wet and slippery as he humped against you. You tightened your arms around his shoulders, pulling his hair for support as you could feel his hard cock bulging and rutting against your pussy desperately.

He whimpered into your mouth, hands sliding under you to squeeze your thighs. “May I taste you, baby?”

You hummed against his lips, too weak to resist. He dropped to his knees, looking up at you before biting his lip when his eyes fell on you rubbing your thighs together.

He looked up at you again with that pleading gaze, asking you to open your legs for him, so you did. His heart thumped louder than before. He was trying hard to keep himself together, not wanting to rush this moment with you.

He pushed your loincloth aside and examined your wet pussy, swiping his tongue across it before letting his fingers rub your clit in circles. You sighed, throwing your head back against the tree as your hand found its way to his braid.

He buried his face between your thighs and began devouring your pussy. “Fuck… missed you so much.”

Your hand tightened against his braids, moaning loudly. “Neteyam… oh fuckkk.”

His fingers pressed against your folds, rubbing your clit in slow circles again, then slid his tongue inside you. He looked up at you from between your thighs with teary eyes. “Tell me what you want.”

You whimpered. “Fuck… fuck me.”

He groaned and pushed two fingers inside you, curling them perfectly. “Shit… you want that?”

You nodded fast, thighs shaking. “Yes— hurry. I’m so close.”

Neteyam kept sucking and fingering you, making sure you felt every inch of his fingers and the way his lips wrapped around your pussy. “Fuck— Neteyam—”

Your eyes rolled back when you came on his tongue. Right then, he didn’t stop. He kept licking through your orgasm, making you whimper. “So hot and beautiful..”

You were shaking, pulling his hair, but still letting him lick you. “Noo, it’s….” He looked up at you with desperate eyes, lips shiny with your wetness. “Let me do it again. I missed making you feel good.”

You just sighed happily and gave in, legs trembling as he licked you thoroughly. You knew how much he loved eating you out and making you cum with his tongue, as every time you were together, he would always find a way to give you pleasure.

He was certain he could last a whole week without cumming if it meant he could eat you out from time to time.

When he noticed your legs shaking, he held your other leg and let it rest on his shoulder. Now you were fully riding his face, rolling your hips onto his tongue as he lapped at your juices.

“So wet… All this for me, right?”

You threw your head back against the tree, moaning shamelessly. “Mhmm yes…” He brought you to another orgasm, making him groan loudly against your pussy, addicted to your taste. And when you couldn’t take his tongue anymore, you removed your leg from his shoulder and pulled him up by his hair, kissing him hard and tasting yourself on his tongue.

Your pussy was still clenching and throbbing from the orgasm. You wrapped your arms around his neck as your tongue fought for dominance. He submitted to you, whimpering into your mouth as you pulled harder on his braid.

You pulled away, biting his lip while keeping your eyes on his half-lidded ones. Your lips moved down to lick his jaw, sucking on it gently. He whimpered, hands restless on your waist as you kissed your way to his ears.

When he felt your tail lashibg slowly against his legs, he reached for it and caressed it up and down. You sucked on his earlobe, making him sigh. Your hips swayed as your tail did, his own tail curling from your presence alone.

You pulled away and squeezed his cheeks. He smiled down at you. “I missed you, y/n…”

You whispered seductively against his lips. “Need you to fuck me.” You pulled his chin closer and kissed him before pushing his head to your neck so he could suck on your skin. You brought your hair to the side and turned your back to him, giving him more access while grinding your ass against him.

Neteyam groaned, licking your shoulder and grinding back against your ass, he held your waist. “Yeah? Need me to do what?” His hands guided your hips toward his aching cock.

You felt his hard length sliding against your ass. “Fuck me…” you begged before letting yourself fall onto the grass on all fours. He went down with you, squeezing your ass with both hands before smacking it hard, you hissed from the sting.

“Gonna let me fuck you raw in this forest while your new suitor prepares the clan’s feast?” he teased, making you whimper. He slid your loincloth aside and teased his tip against your hole. “He isn’t my suitor, Neteyam. We’re not together… I don’t even like—”

Your words were cut off when he licked your back, making your back arch from the sudden touch. You let your head fall onto the grass, hands fisting tightly in it. Your hips raised and rolled against his tip as his fingers rubbed your pussy.

You felt his lips pressing directly against the sensitive skin of your tail. Involuntary pleasure shot straight up your spine, causing your tail to twitch and brush eagerly against his face before you could even think to stop it. He let out a smug chuckle, “Glad to know you’re still hung up on me.”

Hot flush rushed to your cheeks as you scoffed furiously. “And are you not?” you fired back, glaring up at him from where you lay, your tail delivering a slap right against his bare chest.

“Oh, y/n… I know you know the answer to that.” He finally pushed his cock inside you slowly, watching how you took him. He threw his head back when he bottomed out, thrusting slowly to let you adjust.

Even though you had done this many times before, you still couldn’t get used to his size.

He was long and thick, fitting inside you perfectly. It felt like his cock and your pussy were made for each other. You clenched around his girth when the thought of belonging to each other crossed your mind.

Neteyam watched you thrust your hips back onto his shaft, taking your own pleasure when he wouldn’t move. He chuckled and leaned down to kiss your back. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and held your hips, thrusting deep into you.

You moaned louder when he pulled your hair, making your head tilt back. He kissed your cheek. “Oh Neteyam… so big…” Your legs trembled under you as his legs straddled yours.

“Nothing to feel sorry for. I know it’s big.”

You bit your lip at his arrogance, clenching around his cock as he groaned, biting his own lip to hold back another sound while keeping his hand gripped hard on your hip, and your hair.

“Fuck,” he whimpered, “missed being inside you like this.”

You moaned uncontrollably, pushing your ass back to meet his thrusts while whispering, “Neteyam… faster.”

He leaned over your back, pulling his hand away from your hair and reaching down to slide beneath your top accessories, lifting the piece to bare your breasts to the cool air while his palm massaged the soft weight of one breast, squeezing before rolling your nipple between his fingers.

You let out a gasp, your back arching into his touch as his other hand reached around to find your clit, his thumb rubbing it in tight, wet circles that had you weeping into the grass.

“Do you feel how wet you are?” he murmured, his thumb pinning your clit with pressure to make your thighs tremble before he increased the pace of his hips.

You nodded fast, whimpering a desperate yes against the dirt as he groaned again, thrusting faster while your nipples hardened under his rough fingers.

​“Want you to remember this feeling, okay? Remember exactly how you feel right now,” he said, hips driving relentlessly into you, holding you right on the edge of breaking.

You couldn’t stop the clenches around his cock, moaning his name endlessly as he buried himself deep inside you over and over. His breathing filled your ear, he then pulled his fingers from your nipple, pressing his broad palm flat against your lower back to guide your hips, his gaze locked downward as he watched himself sliding in and out of your soaking core.

“I feel so hot... everything hurts, please just fill me up…” you begged, the double stimulation of his cock filling you and his fingers working your clit making your vision blur.

You were utterly undone, his name spilling from your lips because your brain couldn’t process anything else. The universe narrowed down to this forest, the heavy weight of him, and his length rutting into you.

Neteyam groaned, his hand tightening on your hip as he slowed his thrusts to savour the tight pull of your walls, whispering, “Don’t say that, baby, or I’ll cum too fast… I don’t wanna finish yet.”

“Push deeper...”

“Kiss me…” he breathed, and you turned your head around, fisting your fingers into his braided hair to pull him down into a breathless kiss that he moaned into. “I don’t wanna stop…” he cried out against your lips, his grip on your hips tightening securely before your next words shattered his control.

“Fuck me like you missed me, Neteyam.”

Neteyam let out a loud, uncharacteristic cry, his hips snapping forward against you as he confessed, “I did miss you, so fucking much,” his thrusts turning wild and deep.

You were both breathing heavily, your bodies moving together as the risk of being heard in the forest made the friction feel bunch times more intense.

“Neteyam… I’m close again,” you moaned, and he rubbed your clit faster, demanding, “Come for me, let me feel you,” until you groaned, clenching hard around him as you came.

Neteyam bit his lip again, thrusting through your orgasm while his thumb kept heavily vibrating against your overstimulated clit, gasping, “Oh, shit… you’re squeezing me so tight, I’m g-going to cum too.”

You pushed back against him, whining, “Do it inside me,” until he collapsed against you with a trembling breath, his fingers digging into your hips as the last of his heat spilled inside you.

He leaned down to press his forehead against your back, his tail loosely uncurled on its own, letting you feel the frantic beating of his heart against your skin.

The bioluminescence on his whole body flared bright, glowing in sync with yours as you two shared the orgasm, the friction of his body leaving you done while your whimpers were swallowed by the humid night air.

When he finally moved to pull out, the slick liquid pooled down your thighs, making you shiver at the sudden loss of his cock inside you while you hissed in place, your tail curling when you felt his fingers push the cum back into your pussy.

You sighed as your top accessories fell back into place, covering your flushed chest. He then caught your jaw, tilting your head up to press a lingering kiss to your lips while murmuring sweet words to you, both of you staying like that for a moment before you finally collapsed into the grass, breathing hard.

He lay beside you, pressing gentle kisses to your cheeks until your breathing finally regained. The moment you sat up, he did the same, his worried eyes never leaving your face. He watched as you reached for your discarded loincloth, he took a hold of your forearm before you could stand. “Let me help you.”

You shook your head, avoiding his gaze as you gathered your things. “It’s alright,” you whispered. “I’ll take care of myself.”

“Y/n, please. Let me make this up to you. Let me fight for us…” His shoulders fell, before standing to adjust his loincloth around his hips, dragging a hand across his face, wiping away the tears he had failed to hide.

“Neteyam, clean yourself up.”

“Forgive me, baby...” he whispered, guilt can be heard in his voice, he’s regretting how everything had unfolded, pulling you into a sex session right after the guy who obviously had feelings for you just left, and especially after you had tried so hard to push him away.

You turned back to him, cupping his cheeks with both hands. Pressing a gentle kiss on his cheeks, you lingered for only a heartbeat before letting your hands fall away, the faint smile on your face disappearing.

“I’ll leave first. Follow after me... and don’t let yourself get caught, okay?”

-

After that, the two of you returned to pretending the other didn’t exist. It was easier that way anyway. At least, it kept suspicious eyes away from the truth the two of you had worked so hard to hide.

By the time you got home, your family had already begun the evening meal. It wasn’t long before Eykxan arrived at your family’s place as well, sending you an apology for leaving you alone in the forest.

Your mother scowled, questioning why the two of you had been alone in the first place, then turned to Eykxan and asked why he had left a lady on her own.

He mentioned having duties to attend to and couldn’t escort you back himself, though he insisted he had left you in the care of a trustworthy man. Your mother’s expression didn’t change, nearly growing angry at the thought of you being left alone with another male, until you intervened to calm her.

You assured her that everything had been perfectly fine, explaining that the Olo’eyktan’s eldest son had personally accompanied you safely back to the heart of the village.

As you inspected your pouches for any danages, the curtain was suddenly thrown back wherein an energetic voice pierced the atmosphere.

“You’re blooming, Y/n!”

You snapped your head toward the entrance, watching your friends stroll in with a trader’s bag slung over their shoulder.

“Did my brother finally make his move on you?” Ayrein teased, a wicked grin spreading across her face. “I mean, not that I would wanna hear the details of how he—”

“No, Ayrein,” you cut, shutting down the topic. The last thing your heart could handle right now was discussing men. You pointed a finger at the bundle in her hands. “What’s that?”

“We only hope we’re not disturbing you, but the sky-traders arrived at the outer camp earlier, and we managed to get some supplies for you.” Teyanä said, stepping forward and pointing to the bag.

“They arrived?!” you gasped.

“...Yes?” Ayrein blinked, exchanging a confused look with Teyanä. “Did you not hear the horns blowing across the canopy?”

“No!” Panic flared in your chest as you wiped your stained hands frantically on a cloth. “I didn’t hear anything. I needed to trade something to them before they packed up and headed back to the base.”

Teyanä sets the heavy woven bag down on your mat with a thud. “Well, you better hurry if it’s that urgent. They usually only stay by the lower platforms for a few hours to trade medicine and tools with the warriors.”

Your heart hammered against your ribs. You had been so completely lost in the memory of… him.

You cursed under your breath, quickening your pace toward the lower forest platforms where the late sky-traders usually set up camp.

Occasionally, you bowed your head to the passing elders who acknowledged your presence with nods, though your mind remained completely preoccupied.

Your eyes drifted down toward the Tlalim airships, where several people stood talking with the others and examining the newly brought offerings.

Taking another step forward, your heart suddenly dropped as your eyes widened at the sight unfolding just a short distance away.

Huh…

You spotted Neteyam’s broad back as he placed a beaded necklace around Reyna’lin’s neck, her hands resting on his biceps as she smiled up at him. The moment her gaze clashed with yours, her smirk widened maliciously as she stepped closer into his space, her body disappearing behind his large frame.

From your angle, all you could see was her head tilting and leaning deeply into his, making it look exactly like they were sharing something intimate that you wouldn’t even dare name.

Nausea surged through you, forcing you to avert your eyes instantly as you spun on your heel, abandoning the trading tents to head back toward your kelku.

You swallowed hard against the lump in your throat, your pulse throbbing painfully against your skin as you practically sprinted away from the scene.

You completely forgot about the items you had intended to trade, the vivid image of Reyna’lin’s triumphant grin before she leaned into Neteyam burned into your mind.

Hoeever, you tried to tell yourself you had no right to feel this shattered, especially since the council had already decreed their future together as leaders of the clan.

Yet, your heart still ached, ruined by the memory of his desperate confessions in the forest only days prior.

He had held you oh so tight, whispering about his undying love and how desperately he missed you, but now it all felt like a sickening lie.

You had never wanted to think of Neteyam this way, but the harsh reality staring you in the face proved he was likely just after your body.

The realization cut deeper than any physical wound, leaving you entirely hollowed out as you retreated into the shadows of the village.

“Oh my! Why are you crying, Y/n?!” Ayrein gasped, her eyes widening as she took in your flushed nose and trembling lips.

“I… I didn’t see them,” you lied, wiping away the hot tears you hadn’t even realized were falling until she pointed them out.

“It must’ve been that important for you to be crying over missing them,” Teyanä noted, crossing her arms before offering a reassuring shrug. “Don’t worry, they return by the next moon.”

Don’t worry…

It was the phrase you kept repeating to yourself like a hollow mantra, though it did nothing to stop the heavy grumpiness that took over you for the rest of the weeks. You intentionally pulled away from the village life, determined to avoid drawing any sort of interaction from anyone around you.

Your mornings were consumed by helping Mo’at prepare the winter poultices. You successfully avoided Neteyam, and whenever your paths did cross near the communal fires, you made sure your gaze never lingered on his face for more than a millisecond.

While avoiding most people had been easy, Eykxan had practically integrated himself into your daily life.

He constantly brought early meals to your family, laughed along with your father’s jokes, and brought fine fabrics for your beloved mother to gain her favor. He also saved the best cuts of roasted meat specifically for you, making sure your bowl was full before anyone else’s.

Eykxan had been there during the weeks when you were drained, noticing your sour mood and constantly bringing you flowers alongside neatly leaf-wrapped meals.

You wouldn’t really admit, but having an accompanist was exactly what you needed to silence the aching noise of heartbreak inside your chest.

You were currently sitting by the lower riverbanks, scrubbing the sticky residue of crushed herbs from your wooden medicine bowls. Then a shadow suddenly fell over you as the person slid down onto the mossy rock, its fingers brushing your jaw to tilt your face up.

Your entire body went rigid as you slapped his hand away with irritation, “Eykxan… you startled me.”

“You wouldn’t be so jumpy if you actually welcomed my presence, pretty,” he replied, shrugging with a grin that made your eye twitch before he let out a low chuckle.

He attempted to flirtatiously invite you to a secret meeting spot in the forest, claiming it is both of your spot away from the noise of the village. When you point out that you don’t actually share a spot tofether, he got a bit clumsy with his words before giving up and promising to just come and get you later.

You informed your friends that you wouldn’t be able to join them for dinner because Eykxan had asked you to meet him. They just giggled at your explanation, then began swarming you to help you get ready instead.

Soon enough, you were on your way into the forest with your hair unbraided, your friends had put in colorful decorations and hairpins to brighten your strands.

He had indeed come to you to fetch you, presenting you with yet another flower alongside a leaf-wrapped bundle of your favorite food. Throughout the entire walk, he made sure to guide your steps, keeping his hand resting against your waist.

You finally arrived at a secluded clearing near the lake that he claimed as your shared spot, even though you had never been here with him before. You simply ignored the comment as he spread a mat over the grass, taking a seat beside him as the two of you began to talk, slowly getting to know one another.

The conversation went from village gossip to your personal life, his questions gradually becoming more invasive as the twilight deepened around the lake.

“I mean, I’ve been courting you for almost two months now, Y/n, the least you could do is tell me about your past experiences. Surely a beauty like you had suitors.” he said, leaning back on his arms.

“I told you the answer already.”

“There’s just no way you don’t. Your parents are incredibly easy to please, especialy your father! Just tell me who else walked into your life and had him giving his blessing to court you in just a matter of weeks? I literally charmed him,” he grinned to himself, making you look at him offended.

“What did you say?”

“I said it’s easy to trick your father, it’s just your mother that’s stopping me from going full out on you. She’s so unnecessarily strict like? As if I’m going to impregnate you the second we’re alone. No offense, y/n, but how pathetic it is that she won’t let you be with the finest cook of the clan unless you sneak out,” he rolled his eyes.

“That’s because she cares about me, Eykxan. And you’re not courting me. I never gave you permission to,” you said, sitting up straight before he matched your stance, his expression hardening.

“What do you mean? I’ve been giving you a taste of what it feels like to be fed by the best in the clan. I have done nothing but show you the kind of life you’ll have as my mate. No other man can give you that, y/n.”

“You… never asked me to.”

“I don’t have to, that’s expected. The things I did for you, do you want me to count them?”

“Eykxan, please—”

He raised a hand, ticking his fingers one by one in your face. “One, I mend your father’s hunting gear, a difficult task for a weapon that was about to fail him by the way, yet I did everything to fix it. Two, I give your mother the rarest weaving fabrics, the ones you would never obtain easily unless the sky-traders came and you offered your own blood, you should know I have my connections. Three, I prepare the most exquisite meals specifically for your bowl, ensuring your whole family eats like royalty... Do you know how many women in this village wish they had someone like me providing for them every day? What even is courting for you?”

He leaned into your face, prompting you to scramble up from the mat, though he rose just as fast to loom over you. “Eykxan, I appreciate everything you do for us, you know that. I’ve always told you how grateful I am, but that’s not you courting me because I haven’t given you permission.”

“Your father did. He explicitly told me that he would be the happiest to have me as his son-in-law,” he said, stepping closer until you were forced to take a step back.

You moved uncomfortably at his suffocating closeness. “That’s… my father. My mother didn’t agree to anything, nor does she know about this. I didn’t even know your intentions were like this—”

He scoffed, “Are you serious? You’re telling me I made all those sacrifices of risking getting caught reserving the best meat and neglecting my own kitchen duties just for a woman who claims she did not know? You must be completely stupid to think a male of my status does all that for free!” He suddenly shoved your shoulder, the force making you stumble hard against the massive tree trunk behind you.

“Eykxan, t-that’s not—”

“You know what I learned while humbling myself to feed you and your family, Y/n? I learned that you’re nothing but a selfish, ungrateful woman who’s hungry for attention,” he stated, his gaze dropping to your lips as he stepped into your space, his hand caging you against the tree.

You swallowed hard, your left eye twitching as his eyebrows furrowed, your heart stuttering at the sudden toxicity rolling off him.

“Just so you know, I turned down two of the finest women who wished to court me this season. All because I chose to be loyal and waste my time on you. And yet you play the victim, refusing to let me get a single taste of what I’ve rightfully earned.”

You flinched violently when his hand clamped around your wrist like a vice. “E-Eykxan, I demand— it hurts—”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic, princess. It doesn’t hurt,” he dismissed sharply, tightening his grip as he leaned in until his breath hit your cheek. “Yoi’re the one hurting me. You won’t even let me touch you, acting like you’re too innocent for the best male in your circle. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to cater to you while you give me nothing in return? You’re going to start showing me the respect I deserve, starting right now.”

“Let go... please,” you whispered, tears of frustration stinging your eyes as you tried to pull away, but he only pressed his weight heavier against your body.

“She said let go.”

His body went stiff, jaw tightening as he turned his head toward the darkness where Neteyam stepped into the moonlight, his yellow eyes pinned onto Eykxan’s hand around your bruised wrist. He removed his hand and knees from you, making you release the breath you were holding.

Eykxan chuckled, raising his hands and facing him, blocking you from the elder son. “Don’t worry, my girl and I were just doing—”

“Did you not hear what she said?”

“Huh?”

“She said let go.”

Eykxan shifted his weight, still shielding you away from the warrior. “Sir, I don’t think you understand, she and I agreed to meet here, her father already gave me his—”

Before he could finish the sentence, Neteyam moved with the lethal speed of a viper. He stepped into Eykxan’s personal space, his hand clamping around the front of Eykxan’s neck with enough force to cut off his breath instantly, slamming him back against the tree, making you gasp.

“I do not care what her father said,” Neteyam hissed, his face inches from Eykxan’s as his ears pinned flat against his head in pure aggression. “If someone tells you to stop, you stop. If I see your face near her again, I’ll personally ensure you never step foot in the communal kitchens again. Now, get out of my sight before I forget my position.”

You covered your mouth, watching the boy sprint back toward the village while clutching his throat. You let your knees collapse down the grass, letting out a breath, the release of tension making you give out.

Neteyam was by your side by then, dropping to his knees and grasping your shoulders. “Are you alright? Did he hurt you?”

Wiping the cold sweat from your forehead, you forced yourself up and shoved his arms away. You turned to walk back to the village, but he stepped into your path, blocking your escape. Your gaze snapped up to his, your pulse still racing. “Move.”

He shook his head, looking down at your troubled face with deep concern. You inhaled and tried to step around him, but he matched your movement, making you glare at him in pure frustration.

“Didnt you hear what I said—”

“I’m not moving until you speak to me.”

“There’s nothing for us to speak about,” you stated, twisting your arm to break his touch.

“There is. The fact that you have cast me aside for months… what’s the meaning of that?”

You let out a harsh scoff, your hair swinging over your shoulder. “Maybe the fact that you’re to be spoken for, and I refuse to stand between a future Olo’eyktan and his chosen woman?”

“What are you saying?” He raised an eyebrow, and his clueless expression only fueled your anger. “Stop tormenting me,” you snapped, attempting to push past him only to collide directly with his broad chest. “I said stop—”

“You always do this, you close yourself off and tell me nothing. How am I supposed to fix us if you won’t even let me—”

“There’s no us, Neteyam! Understand that. There’s no us now, nor will there be in the future. Everything we had, I left in the past along with your empty promises, so I suggest you—”

He seized your arm again, desperation bleeding into his features. “Why must you make things so difficult for us?”

Your eyes widened at his words, a bitter laugh escaping your lips as you stepped into his space, your voice dropping to a harsh whisper. “You mean, why must you always be the perfect son?”

His jaw slackened, his pupils contracting as the words hit him. He blinked, his mouth opening and closing before he could barely utter, “...What?”

“I believed you, Neteyam. When you swore you would fight for us, I trusted you. I never forced your hand because I believed you would protect our dream.”

Tears finally spilled over your eyelashes, your bioluminescent dots flaring in the dim forest light. He stood frozen, swallowing hard as he let you pour out your agony.

“y/n…”

“...I doubt you know how deeply ashamed I feel whenever our people praise your devotion as her suitor.” The suppressed rage of the past months finally broke free, spilling out of you unchecked.

His eyes widened in horror as the weight of your words crashed down on him, but before he could speak, you pressed on.

“When you told me you dreamed of mating with me under the Tree of Souls and raising a family... you have no idea the joy that brought me.”

He stood completely paralyzed, his heart shattering into pieces as he watched the tears stream down your face. He wanted nothing more than to reach out, to wipe away your sorrow and hold you against his chest, but your next words anchored him to the spot.

“The day you pulled me away from that starving creature and looked me in the eyes, my soul knew yours before my mind ever could. I saw my future there. I saw my husband... the father of my children. I knew that vision by heart, that’s why I risked a lot.

Every dream I ever dared to have had you in it. Every prayer I whispered to Eywa carried your name. I loved you long before I ever found the courage to say it aloud, and even before I knew your name.

But you’re just sooo perfect, aren’t you? So perfect that I kept wondering what someone like you ever saw in someone like me. I suppose that’s why I could never understand how we fit together. I should’ve known there was always going to be something wrong.

You’re the man every child looks up to. The one who never disappoints his father. You carry the weight of your clan so proudly, yet the moment it’s us standing before you, you set me down first.”

You didn’t fail to notice the way he swallowed hard, his eyes trembling as tears gathered along his lash line. His lips had flattened into a tight line, fighting to keep his composure, yet you couldn’t waste this moment without telling him what had been haunting your mind.

“You’re the finest warrior Omatikaya has ever known. But when it comes to us... You’re nothing more than a coward, Neteyam.”

Finally, you sniffled, turning your head away as your trembling lips pressed together. You wiped your tears, refusing to look at him. You couldn’t bear the thought of seeing the tears you knew were already slipping down his cheeks because of the words you had just spoken.

You never imagined you would say them to him. Not before, and certainly not now. If there was ever a future where those words left your lips again, you hoped it would never come.

Letting out a heavy sigh, you turned to leave, but his hand clamped around yours, pulling more tears from your eyes. “Let go, please..."

“You won’t give me a chance to talk?”

“No. I have a trial with the Tsahik at dawn and I must rest. If you have words to say, swallow them for I’m no longer listening.”

“Please... you know our ways better than anyone. I cannot— I must not—”

You whirled around, wrenching your wrist from his grasp. “When you spoke to Eykxan and told him that when someone says to stop, you stop. So now, I’m telling you this: Stop approaching me. Stop looking for a past that’s dead. From this sun down, Neteyam… we are nothing but strangers.”

Sleep didn’t come easily after that.

You spent the entire night muffling your sobs against your sleeping mat, your chest tightening as you struggled to catch your breath, tears streaming endlessly until you were exhausted from weeping.

The next morning, Mo’at noticed the way your eyes were swollen and heavy, but she made no remark on that state.

On the other hand, Neteyam was no better. She didn’t fail to see the lack of motivation in her grandson. But he still moved with that lifeless gait during his regular perimeter patrols, flying his ikran on scouting missions and checking the borders for any signs of the sky people, doing it all with no rests, tiring his banshee.

It was obvious to the Tsahik that he was desperately seeking extra duties and more duties to keep his hands occupied.

Whenever he returned from the dangerous hunts, he would hand the heavy tools and gathered goods over to the village cooks, giving a polite bow to the elders before retreating right back to his tasks.

Lo’ak had to constantly shake his older brother awake, as Neteyam no longer resembled the Olo’eyktan’s proud first son. He stopped smiling, barely touching his meals, and his mind wandered so badly during patrols that the other people with him literally had to yank him out of the path of a charging viperwolf.

His skin looked dull, the bioluminescent dots on his body barely glowing in the dark, and his tail trailed limply along the ground, while his ears drooped to express his misery.

Neteyam had been sinking into a place so dark that even hope struggled to reach him, your words from that night in the forest echoing louder than anything else, along with all the ones he never had the chance to say.

Your teary stained face haunted his thoughts, tormenting him from the moment he woke up until he tried to sleep. Your voice replayed in his mind, each word striking him just as painfully as it had the night you said them.

Reyna’lin practically had to force him out of his state, dragging him across the village grounds while leaning closely into his arm as she rattled on about their plans for the day. She tried her absolutw best to cheer him up, bringing him along to gather resources and whispering sweet things, but every single attempt failed.

He just allowed her to drag him along through the high forest canopy, following her across the massive branches to hunt and test his skills once again, yet no amount of physical distraction could fill the void inside him.

He went through each day like a puppet, for no duty nor pastime could soothe his aching heart the way your presence once did.

“You’ve been lazing around…”

Reyna’lin said, rubbing her hands on Neteyam’s lap. He just looked down from the tree, the two of them sitting 50 ft above the ground on one of the thick branches.

Reyna’lin held his cheeks, caressing them. “Would you ever tell me what’s going on inside that pretty head of yours?” Neteyam nodded, not really listening to her words, his mind was somewhere else.

She leaned up and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek, trying to get some reaction from her future mate. He didn’t pull away, nor did he lean into it. His body stayed numb as his eyes stared blankly past her shoulder.

Reyna’lin straddled his legs, taking his hands and placing them on her waist. She held his jaw and turned his head so she could kiss his neck. Neteyam’s hands just rested there, not moving at all.

His heart felt like it was breaking again. His ears stayed pinned back, tail not moving. His eyes were half-lidded, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep. He could barely hear her whispering seductively in his ear, her breath hot against his skin.

She guided his left hand up to the side of her breast, humping slowly against his leg, looking for any friction as she kissed his neck again. Neteyam stayed completely still, not responding to any of her touches.

Reyna’lin kept going, pressing her body closer and whispering more desperate things into his ear as she tried to force a spark from him. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, her hands tangling into his braids, sighing and begging his body to acknowledge her.

He just let his head fall back against the tree, staring up through the canopy at the distant stars with unblinking eyes. His hands remained limp where she had placed them, refusing to grip her, refusing to push her away, detached from the skin-to-skin contact.

Her movements grew more desperate until the whole lack of warmth from him became too loud to ignore. Slowing down, she pulled back from his neck and cupped his jaw, leaning in to finally connect her lips to his.

He could feel her warm breath brushing across his skin, causing his eye to twitch, but just before their lips could meet, she stopped herself. Pulling back to examine his face, she saw what he was trying so hard to hide.

She let out a low groan of frustration, shifting so she was simply sitting between his legs rather than straddling him, her hands dropping heavily into her own lap. She watched as a tear spilled over his eyelashes and rolled down his cheek, He looked away into the dark canopy as he sniffled to himself.

“Just spit it out, Neteyam.”

-

Weeks later, you managed to stay far away from both males after that night, as the ordeal had took the soul right out of you. The news of the incident traveled its way to the Olo’eyktan’s ears, and he immediately sent Eykxan out on a grueling, solitary hunt so he could reflect on the gravity of what he had done.

Your friends also found out what happened, and a devastated Ayrein went down to her knees to bow before you and your parents, sobbing as she begged for your forgiveness. She felt responsible for the mess, since she was the one who had insisted on pairing you up with her brother.

Relief washed over you when Jake decided to keep the issue confidential between your two families, making sure rhat no gossip would ruin anyone’s standing. You didn’t want to bring shame upon his family, especially since your best friend was only trying to help you experience life beyond your family’s expectaions.

“I told you it’s alright, please don’t drown in your guilt,” you murmured, chuckling as you tried to pull away from her tight embrace.

She shook her head, her hands still trembling against your shoulders as fresh tears welled up in her eyes. “No, y/n, I have all of you to thank for being so merciful… for not demanding my brother be locked away in the dungeons or shamed before the clan! You’re far too considerate, and you truly deserve nothing less than a proud warrior who gives you everything!”

Teyanä suddenly stepped forward and pinched Ayrein’s skin to silence her, her own tail flicking with sharp annoyance. “Hey, stop speaking of mates right now! That’s the exact reason why y/n was almost harassed! I now understand why auntie was so against this pairing from the very beginning!”

Ayrein pulled back, resting her hands on your shoulders as her eyes searched yours. “I’m just really glad that Neteyam was there to come to your rescue. I cant even imagine what could’ve happened otherwise…” she murmured with a deep frown.

You swallowed hard against a dry throat at the very mention of his name, a wave of heavy realization washing over you. You were grateful too, but you realized that you hadn’t even gotten to properly thank him that night, giving him nothing but a cold shoulder and harsh words when he was desperately just trying to communicate with you.

A sense of shame settled in your chest, knowing he always seemed to appear right when you needed saving, yet whenever he asked for just a moment of your time, you couldnt give it.

“Me too, y/n. we’re both so sorry for forcing you into this whole mess,” Teyanä sighed, stepping closer to pat the top of your head.

You shook your head, wanting to ease their guilt. “Id admit, a part of me had been curious to see what would happen if he kept this up. But there was another part that just knew something was off about him. Sorry, sister, for my soul didn’t see him.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, y/n,” Ayrein interrupted, squeezing your shoulders. “It’s all my fault for not taking the time to ask how you two were doing, I just assumed the best and thought my… brother was conducting a proper courting. I must apologize as well for making so many inappropriate jokes, I definitely made you uncomfortable.”

Your friends made sure you forgot all your negative thoughts, dragging you along with them down to the river for a swim. The water was cold, feeling incredible as the three of you sat with your backs to the rushing falls, letting the heavy pressure of the cascading water give you a free massage.

They even left their boyfriends behind for the time being, abandoning their usual day in a life just so they could protect your peace and hang out with you for the next few weeks.

Mo’at also made sure to avoid overworking you, going noticeably easy on you during your recent training sessions to give your spirit time to heal. She purposely assigned you lighter tasks, allowing you to focus on guiding the younger apprentices while she took full charge of leading the daily rituals for the clan.

You bid farewell to the young girls, sending them out after they hugged, and thanked you for the lessons today. Your heart felt full of warmth from their pure cuteness, bringing a genuine smile to your face.

You then began cleaning the Tsahik’s hut, clearing the tables and mats the children had used for the class before picking up the leftover materials to store them away safely.

Humming while washing the wooden cups and bowls was your usual hobby, but the melody died down when a rush of heavy, panicked footsteps echoed right outside the entrance.

“C’mon!”

“Over there!”

You dropped your cleaning cloth and yanked open the curtain, stepping back to let the frantic warriors carry someone inside. There were too many of them crowding around, blocking your view of the injured hunter as they rushed toward the medical mats.

“What’s going on?” you demanded, approaching the group as they laid the body down onto the soft mattress. The warrior closest to you turned, out of breath as he explained, “We need Tsahik… he fell from a very dangerous height.”

“Who is—”

Your voice caught as your eyes finally tracked down to the unconscious male covered in cuts and bruises, your lungs seizing up when you realized it was none other than Neteyam.

You shoved the males out of your way, kneeling beside him to look at his wounds while demanding a report. “What happened?!”

“W-We were assigned to the afternoon patrol at the high cliffs, but we didn’t realize he had drank some of the heavy ceremonial wine from today’s ritual,” the lead warrior admitted guiltily, his tail twitching.

“We only caught the scent of it once we were high up, and before we could ask, he fainted, lost his balance, startled his ikran, and plummeted straight down.”

You let out a gasp, your heart hammering against your ribs as you scrambled up to gather your emergency herbs. One of them added, “It was fortunate that he landed directly on the huge leaves… it absorbed the momentum and saved his life…”

“Fortunate?!” A hiss ripped from your throat, your ears pinning flat against your head as you glared at the reckless patrol team. “Get out of here! Go find Tsahik!” you snarled, enraged that they hadn’t even bothered to check on their fellow warrior before taking to the sky, knowing damn well he could’ve died if those giant canopy leaves hadn’t caught his fall.

When all of the warriors finally left, you pressed your palm against Neteyam’s forehead and then his neck, checking for his temperature. You turned his palm upward, placing your fingers on the thumb side of his wrist to gauge his pulse, counting the rhythm of his heartbeat.

You let out a sigh when you realized his vitals were stable, turning away to sit on the floor and begin grinding the healing herbs together. Your hands suddenly froze when a painful groan cut through the room, causing you to look back over your shoulder.

He began to sob, bringing a trembling hand up to clutch his head before shifting his entire forearm to cover his eyes. You felt the ache in your chest at the rare sight of him breaking down, his broad shoulders shaking with every ragged breath.

“Y/n…”

Your heart dropped at the vulnerable sound of him calling out your name beneath his arm. Quickly finishing the herbal paste, you crawled back over and sat beside him, gently reaching down to rub his tear-stained cheek. “Shhh…”

He didn’t take his arm off his face, sobbing even louder than before as he gasped for air. “I… I need to see y/n… Please bring me to her…” Your eyes widened, his body tensing up when you tried to pull his arm away. “Hey,” you whispered.

“Don’t— Don’t touch me, please… I don’t want anyone touching me but her,” he choked out, entirely blind to his surroundings.

“Neteyam, I’m here…” you said, finally prying his arm away from his face. He squinted hard against the light, his swollen yellow eyes blinking rapidly until they locked onto your worried face and the deep frown on your lips.

A smile broke through his tears before he abruptly bolted upright, startling you. “Y-you have to lay down before you hurt yourself—”

Neteyam threw himself onto your lap, crashing onto his knees right in front of you as he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, burying his face against your skin to inhale your scent. He kept weeping against you, throwing you shock as you watched him ignore his fresh wounds just to jail you in his embrace.

“Y/n, forgive me please!” he cried out, squeezing you tighter against his chest. Your throat tightened, and you swallowed hard. “Stop it… you have to lay down!” You desperately tried to peel his arms off your waist, scrambling to your feet the second you broke his grip, but he immediately shifted and wrapped his arms around your thighs instead.

“Please… talk to me…” he begged, his ears pinning completely flat against his head in sheer desperation as he locked his hold around your legs. Your tail lashed violently from side to side in frustration. “Hey! Stand up right now—”

He didn’t listen, dragging his heavily bruised body forward across the mat, nearly causing you to stumble before you caught your weight. He looked pathetic, completely broken down by grief as he clutched the fabric of your loincloth, burying his wet face directly into your lap while his broad shoulders shook.

“I can’t do it… I can’t live without you— I’m so sorry... I’m a coward, you were right... I’m such a coward man.”

“You need to calm down! Your wounds are terrible, you’re not sober, and Mo’at might walk in at any moment!” you pleaded, placing your hands over his trembling shoulders to push him back. Instead, he pulled your hands down, gripping your wrists with a strength to press your palms flat against his wet cheeks before forcing himself to look up at you.

He was begging so hard he could barely catch his breath. “Let her see. I don’t care anymore. Y/n... I cannot do this, I cannot sleep… every time I close my eyes, I just hear you yelling at me and I see the look on your face.”

Your heart twisted in your chest, the anger you had carried for days now smothered by a wave of pure sorrow.

Your warrior was a mess.

You forced yourself to look away from his gaze, your eyes darting anxiously toward the entrance of the pod as you waited for the Tsahik to return.

“Please… look at me...” he whispered, “I’ll crawl through the mud for you, y/n. Just please don’t look at me like I’m nothing to you…”

“What’s going on here?”

Your eyes went to the entrance as Mo’at pulled back the curtain, her gaze taking in the sight of you gripping Neteyam’s cheeks while he’s on his knees before you. He didn’t even look back at his grandmother, ignoring her presence as he waited for you to meet his eyes again.

“He—uhm…” You swallowed hard, the words dying in your throat as you struggled to find an explanation before she stepped closer, then took her grandson’s arms away from your thighs and forced his weak body down onto the medical mattress.

“Hand me the herbs.”

Your feet stuttered over the woven mats as you retrieved the wooden bowl you had been mixing earlier, avoiding Neteyam’s longing eyes. “Sorry…” you mumbled, hands trembling, giving the remedy.

“You will tell me what’s happening here, y/n,” Mo’at spoke, her eyes locking onto you as she began to assess his injuries. “Why was my grandson on his knees?”

You inhaled, looking down at your lap as you prepared to speak, but Neteyam cut in before you could even form a syllable. “I’m in love with her.”

Your eyes widened, snapping up to look at him as he stared right back at you. His skin twitched in pain as Mo’at applied the stinging herbal paste to his wounds, but he didn’t care, making your heart beat fast in your chest as he continued.

“I have longed for y/n for so long, and I cannot… I will not walk the path with anyone else, grandmother,” Neteyam whimpered, he refused to break eye contact with you.

“Y/n?”

Finding it incredibly difficult to speak under the weight of her presence, you cleared your dry throat. “We… we were walking together in secret before, but I took matters into my own hands and severed our relationship so that… he could fulfill his duty to the clan,” you whispered, a hot blush of embarrassment creeping up your cheeks as you confessed your forbidden love to the highest authority.

“Y/n, I—”

Neteyam opened his mouth to protest, but he was suddenly pinched by Mo’at, forcing him to shut up as she looked up at you. “And how does all of that make you feel?”

“What… what do you mean, Tsahik?”

“Do you want him to fulfill his duty to the clan?” she asked directly, the blunt question making your chest tighten as you looked down at the woven mats, entirely unwilling to give a straight answer while Neteyam sat right there, desperately waiting for your words.

“It wouldn’t be inaccurate to say that I... wouldn’t wish for him to do such a thing... though I cannot exactly deny that I wouldn’t be opposed to the possibility of wanting him to. But should that ever happen, I’d wish that it be of his own choosing, rather than the consequence of any wish I may... or may not... have held.”

Neteyam tilted his head, his ears twitching in confusion as he tried to understand your words. His bruised brow knitted together as he looked from you to his grandmother, wonderjng whether the wine had finally gone to his head because not a single sentence you uttered seemed to make sense anymore.

Mo’at let out a hum, her eyes softening as she soon realized and saw right through your protective walls while her grandson remained baffled.

“What do you mean—” Neteyam began, before he was cut off by a hard smack from Mo’at.

“You brought this upon yourself, child, you knew very well that you had a patrol this afternoon, yet you allowed yourself to get drunk,” she scolded, “What kind of warrior are you behaving like, and what would your father say if he saw you right now? You had best be glad I ordered your patrol members to keep this foolishness away from Jake or you would be facing much worse than my medicine.”

He winced, scratching the back of his neck as he muttered an apology and looked down at his lap, thoroughly ashamed to be getting lectured like a child right in front of you.

Both of your hearts were still thumping wildly against your chest. Is this it? Out of all the people in the clan who could’ve discovered the secret between the two of you, it had to be the Tsahik herself.

Later that night, Mo’at instructed you to stay and watch over Neteyam, who had fallen into a deep, heavy sleep mostly due to the effects of the wine, informing you that she had urgent business elsewhere in the camp.

Before she could step out, you asked her to keep your secret safe, and she gave you a nod, saying that your truth was not hers to tell before patting your shoulder.

Left alone with your racing thoughts, you sat just outside the entrance, peeling the fibrous veins from a basket of medicinal leaves to keep your hands from shaking.

“Hey.”

You snapped your head up from your work, not having heard a single footstep approach, only to find Reyna’lin standing before you with a wave and a smile. “Is Neteyam inside?” she asked, her fingers pointing toward the curtained entrance.

You straightened your posture, a tight knot forming in your body as you gave her a nod. “Yes, he’s asleep though, but you may go inside.”

She nodded and went inside, leaving you alone with your thoughts again, as a pit formed in your stomach.

Of course she would visit her future mate.

Check on him.

Make sure he was alright.

You shook your head, swallowing the bitterness that threatened to surface. Out of everything, you refused to resent her for worrying about the man who was, by all accounts, meant to become her husband, even if a part of you still wondered whether Neteyam’s heart belonged to you too.

You let the frown stay on your face though as you resumed peeling the leaves and putting them in the bowl for tomorrow’s children’s lesson.

“Y/n?”

You looked up and saw her leaning against the wood before she approached and sat down beside you, purposely bumping your shoulder.

“Yes?”

“I suppose we haven’t had a proper meeting. I was such a bitch for some reason, so… sorry for that,” she said, pointing to herself with a grin.

You nodded. “It’s alright. I didn’t really... mind.”

“Well, that’s good to know, because next week me and Neteyam are to be mated under the Tree of Souls, before Eywa…” her voice trailed off as she looked at you. She saw the way you swallowed hard.

Then she burst into laughter.

You looked at her, confused. “What?” Reyna’lin wiped her eyes, still smiling. “I’m kidding! We’re absolutely not gonna be mated!”

Your eyes widened. “...What?”

“Oh please, cut it out, girl. I know you have a thing for him. Not even a thing, let’s be real. Who knows, you could be carrying his child already for how many times he has sneaked you out and fucked you!”

Rhe free way she spoke had a hot blush burning purple across your cheeks, your mind racing as you wondered how she could possibly know any of that. Did he actually tell her that?

“There’s no life growing inside me! We didn’t even mate.”

“Yet!”

Seeing your stunned silence, she finally let out a sigh, clearing her throat as she leaned her head dangerously close to yours. You instinctively flinched away, but she only gave a knowing smirk.

“He told me. Everything.”

-

“Just spit it out, Neteyam.”

He didn’t look at her, keeping his head turned away. He inhaled a deep breath, letting another tear slip down his cheek before he finally spoke. “I’m already in love with someone else.”

He expected her to gasp or slap him across the face evem but she only stared at him. “It’s the healer girl, isn’t it?” she asked, making Neteyam snap his gaze toward her.

“She isn’t just some healer; her name is y/n, and she saved my life. She’s the love of my life, so I cannot do this, and I absolutely won’t.”

He braced himself for her to scream and run straight to his parents to ruin his reputation, but insteaf, he watched her stand up, then flinching when she suddenly clapped her hands together and let out a cheer.

A massive, satisfied smirk spread across her face as she let out a happy groan, throwing her hands in the air “Greatmother, thank you!” she exclaimed, bouncing excitedly on her feet.

Neteyam blinked, “...huh?”

She rolled her eyes at him, her smirk only growing wider. “Do you have any idea how exhausting it has been acting like some lovesick maiden? Man, I’ve been waiting for weeks for you to finally grow a spine and refuse this arrangement.”

Hs was stunned. “...you’re not mad at me?”

Reyna’lin scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest as she asked why she would be mad. “Unlike you, I’m not some girl born with privilege, meaning I cannot just walk up to the council of elders and tell them ‘hell nah’ without bringing shame upon my family. I needed your ass to do it for me, ‘coz you have the bloodline.”

“Sorry…”

She raised an eyebrow at him, “Why are you apologizing for loving this girl?”

“I’m not apologizing for loving her, I’m apologizing for wasting your time.”

“Oh then, apology accepted!” she grinned, though her expression changed when she noticed he was still frowning deeply. “What are your plans then? Isn‘t that chick expected to be with someone else now? She could’ve already fallen for the cook before your jealous ass interrupted their so-called date.”

“That wasn’t a date, he was harassing her,” he said, “And I… I don’t want that. I don’t want her to fall for someone else… I want her to keep thinking about me, even after I return to Eywa… I don’t want her to fulfill our dream with someone else…” he cried out pitifully.

-

“—And I stared at him with wholeee disgust, I didn’t know the mighty warrior could get any more pathethic than that!”

You stared at her in pure shock, your mind spinning as you tried to process the wildly unexpected story she was telling.

“Oh by the way, sooo sorry too for almost initiating sex with him,” Reyna’lin said, giggled. “I was getting so bummed out that he wasn’t doing anything with that position of his! I had to rile him up… and you too, heh.” She winked at you. “Remember the day when the sky-traders were here? I made it look like I was leaning in to kiss him, when in reality I blew on his eyes because he was glaring like he was angry at me. We cannot let the elders see that, right?”

She laughed. “and before you panic, I threatened him to put the necklace on me.”

You stared at her, jaw slack as your mind scrambled to piece together the whirlwind of information. Reyna’lin leaned back, looking satisfied with herself. She was really talkative... you found yourself struggling to keep up with the pace of her words, your mind chasing after the details as she spoke far too fast for a mind already burdened with heartache to fully comprehend.

“I’m gonna be honest with you… I can’t imagine the depression I put you through! I mean, your man was in deep, girl. He must love that pussy of yours so much to not even give this huntress a chance to prove herself! I’m kidding by the way if you couldn’t tell.”

Earlier that day, you had fallen asleep on the woven floor mats that night, collapsing from exhaustion after changing his bindings and watching the rise and fall of his chest.

As the early morning light began to filter, you woke to the sensation of a large hand stroking your hair. You opened your eyes, and looked up to find Neteyam staring down at you with a stupid smile plastered across his face.

You sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as your ears twitched in relief. “You’re awake…” you whispered.

“I am,” he rasped, his voice hoarse from sleep.

You nodded before standing up to tend to your morning routine. After washing your face with fresh water, you popped a crisp mint-leaf into your mouth, chewing on it to freshen your breath before gathering the freshly crushed herbs from yesterday. Settling yourself back down on the mat beside him, you caught sight of his wide grin. “Why are you… smiling like that?”

“Because I missed you. So much.”

The confession made your lips pout, a hot flush rising to your cheeks as you forced yourself to focus on the task at hand. You peeled away his old dressings to reapply the cool herb paste onto his wound.

Even though he knew his injuries were tko sensitive, he couldn’t bring himself to look away, his golden eyes tracking your movements as you worked over him.

You were so focused, your expression oh so serious, and the sight of your dedication only made his smile grow. Finally, as if overwhelmed by his own affection, he forced his gaze away, looking down and burying his face in one hand to hide the deep purple blush spreading across his cheeks.

When you finally finished tying the clean cloth, you patted his forearm. “All done,” you murmured, preparing to stand up.

Before you could even rise to your feet, Neteyam’s hand shot out. He caught you by the wrist, pulling you back down to the mats with a gentle tug. Before you could gasp, his hand traveled up your jaw, and he pulled your lips down to meet his.

A whine escaped your throat against his mouth, your tail curling, but you didnt pull away. Instead, you melted into him, kissing him back with a matching hunger born from the weeks you had spent apart.

His grip around your waist tightened, his large fingers digging into your skin as his other hand guided your captive wrist up to his shoulder, prompting you to drape your arms securely around his neck. He tilted his head, deepening the embrace, and you could feel the vibrations of his purr against your lips as you both smiled into the kiss.

Neteyam let out a groan when he tasted the fresh sting of a mint on your tongue. He caressed the smooth skin of your hip while your hand migrated to his cheek, pulling him closer, desperate to lose yourself in his warmth.

“Oh, Eywa.”

You tore yourself away, eyes widening in sheer horror as your gaze collided directly with Mo’at, who stood at the entrance carrying a heavy foraging basket.

Panicking, you scrambled to your feet, nearly tripping over your own tail as you rushed to take the basket from her hands to help her carry it inside. Your throat swallowed hard, your chest tight with the terrifying knowledge that the Tsahik had just caught you thoroughly mouthing her grandson.

Neteyam who was unbothered, bit his lip to hide his amusement, his tail flicking happily as he watched you nervously move around his grandmother.

Mo’at didnt say a word as she let you take the heavy basket from her arms. She stared at your clumsy actions with an arched eyebrow. Walking past you to check the shelf where the children’s lesson herbs were stored. “I trust the medicine was applied to the wound, and not just... swallowed?”

Your ears pinned flat against your head, a deep purple blush exploding across your neck. “I—yes. The poultice is fresh. He’s bandaged too.”

Neteyam let out a muffle chuckle, trying desperately to look innocent as he adjusted his blanket. He flonched when his grandmother turned a glare in his direction.

“And you. The Greatmother granted you a second chance at life, not a license to exhaust yourself before your ribs have even knit back together. Lie down before you bleed through those fresh linens.”

“Yes, Grandmother.”

Mo’at sighed, shaking her head as she began sorting through the basket you had set down. “The camp is already waking. Go, y/n. Wash the mortar and pestle, and prepare the courtyard for the youth, we’ll do the lesson there. We’ll not speak of what your mouth was busy with. Keep your mind on the healing arts today.”

“Noted. Thank you, Tsahik,” you squeaked out, bowing before you grabbed the dirty wooden tools and bolted out, your heart still racing.

As you stepped outside to the washing station, a familiar giggle made you freeze. Reyna’lin was leaning against a nearby tree trunk, idly braiding a piece of twine, a massive smirk on her face.

“Well well well,” She purred, strolling over to you with a swing in her step. “Judging by how your face is, I’m guessing you either saw a ghost... or the mighty warrior finally used his mouth for something other than crying.”

“It’s not what you think it is…” you stammered, your ears burning as you tried to focus on washing the residual herb paste from the wooden bowl. She just rolled her eyes, letting out a scoff. “Also… why are you even out here so early?” you asked.

“I came to get your man since we’re supposed to have training class together this morning,” she explained, casually tossing her braid over her shoulder. “But I completely forgot the idiot almost died thats why he’s cooped up in there!!!”

Over the following weeks, Neteyam’s strength returned, his wounds finally knitting together under your devotion until he was once again whole. He walked into the sacred council big tent, stabding at his side was Reyna’lin. Together, they turned down the arranged mating match, fulfilling the exact defiance Reyna’lin had desperately needed from him to save her own family.

The elders gasped in surprise, demanding to know who could possibly replace the match they had so chosen.

Before Neteyam could even open his mouth, Reyna’lin boldly stepped forward, slinging an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into the light. “My heart belongs elsewhere, my people. In fact, I introduce to you, y/n—my cute mate!”

You froze, your tail going completely stiff while your ears raised, the elders gasped. Neteyam’s head snapped toward her so fast his braids swung, murderous glare at Reyna’lin that could have pierced thr Great Leonopteryx.

Catching his deadly look, she quickly cleared her throat, clearing her hands with an innocent grin. “Ah—apologies, I mean his! She’s his girlfriend. My bad you guys!”

When you finally found a moment alone with Neteyam, away from the eyes of the clan, he looked down at you, examining the details of your face. He told you that he wanted to court you properly this time. Even when you insisted that he didn’t need to prove himself anymore, that your heart was already his, he remained too persistent though.

He took your hands, his eyes locking onto yours as he murmured that he would pursue you every single day, no matter what you said.

And he kept his word.

Knowing how much you disliked real flowers, always preferring to leave the living flowers untouched or saved purely for healing, he got creative. He would spend hours weaving artificial blossoms out of dried reeds, supple leather cords, and fibers, shaping your favorite medicinal plants into a permanent bouquet that would never wither.

If you so much as whispered a craving, even those rare fruit that only grew at the dangerous summits of the Hallelujah Mountains, he wouldn’t rest until it was in your hand, even if it meant flying through turbulent winds just to capture a taste you’d only mentioned yesterday.

He had become an inseparable part of your family dynamic too, perhaps too much. It wasn’t uncommon to walk into the family tent and find them arguing over who got to keep his company…

Your father was usually showing him the intricacies of a new weapon design, while your mother had him sitting knee-to-knee with her, teaching him the finer points of weaving. He didn’t mind at all, he had even taken it upon himself to craft the both of you a matching loincloths.

you often found yourself having to “steal” your own boyfriend away from your parents, who treated him more like their favorite child than a suitor.

Even when the day ended and you were long asleep beside him, his care didn’t cease. You’d wake up to find your kit transformed as he would spend his night re-wrapping the worn leather grips of your tools so they wouldn’t blister your palms.

And whenever the traders arrived, he was always the first at the stalls with you. He ignored the weapons and the pelts, his eyes instead scanning the wares for rare beads or iridescent shells that would catch the light just right against your skin.

It was really full of love.

For the first time, you both had the permisssion of your families to see each other freely. There was no more hiding in the shadows, no more burying your affection away from the people’s eyes.

You could finally sit across the campfire, lock eyes across the crowded circle, and share a longing look before ducking your heads with matching smiles.

Best of all, you could finally hold each other close, free of that old, bitter anxiety, knowing you didnt have to tear yourselves apart the second someone walked through the curtain.

You let out a ringing laugh as Neteyam nearly slipped right off his ikran when you suddenly swooped your own mount right over his head, startling it. He let out a booming shout of laughter that echoed through the open air before diving after you, pushing his to fly faster to chase you down.

Laughing breathlessly, you guided yours toward the highest, most secluded cliffside, landing gracefully and scrambling down from the saddle. A squeal escaped your lips when you heard the heavy thud of his own mount landing right behind yours, Neteyam giving chase across the rocky plateau.

Just as you thought you were going to escape, his large hand shot out and caught the very tip of your tail. You let out a playful hiss, spinning around on your heel to face him, in which he hissed lowly in return.

You both froze, biting your lips as you simply looked at each other, the rush of the wind howling around you. You let out a giggle, looking down with deeply flushed purple cheeks before stepping closer into his space. Reaching up, you looped your arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.

You both let out a contented sigh against each other’s lips. Every single time you kissed him, it felt like the world around you was calming down, the howling winds of the cliffs fading into a murmur. Neither of you could fail to smile into the intimacy.

Slowly, you pulled away to breathe, resting your forehead against his as your eyes closed, simply soaking yourself in the reassuring beat of his heart. You opened your eyes and gave him a sly grin before leaning in again. Just when he thought you were going to capture his lips, you sank down to your knees on the grass. Your hands slid down the blue skin of his as you went down slowly.

Neteyam looked down at you, eyss blown wide and hungry as you gazed up at him from below. He leaned over, his large hands caressing your cheeks before his long striped fingers brushed against your lips.

You parted them, darting your tongue out to lick his thumb before drawing the two of his fingers into your mouth. A muffled moan vibrated in your throat as your tongue swirled around them.

He swallowed hard, a purr rumbling in his chest while his tail curled on its own. You wrapped your hands around his wrist, guiding his fingers deeper in your mouth making you gag. When you pulled his hand free, you let your tongue roll over every inch of his damp skin, your eyes never leaving his blown-out gaze.

You reached for the edge of his loincloth, tugging it slightly for a permission. A chuckle escaped his throat as he lifted it for you. Your breath hitched as you came face to face with his cock. Grinning up at him, you leaned forward and pressed a warm kiss to the very tip.

Your hands wrapped around it, stroking him up and down. He let out a whimper, his hand burying into your hair for support. He threw his head back, his ears pinning flat against his hair.

“Stop teasing, please…”

You bit your lip from him moaning and swiped your tongue across his tip, licking away the slick bead of pre-cum leaking out from him. You guided your tongue down the underside to wet him completely before finally taking him deep into your mouth.

Your cheeks hollowed around him as you sucked, your eyes locked on his face. Neteyam moaned at the sight of you, his hand in your hair guiding the bob of your head on his shaft. “Taking it so well… can you still fit it all?”

“Mhm… it got bigger, baby,” you mumbled around him. The vibration of your voice made him let out a hiss. He looked down, watching your tail wagging behind you, your ears twitching with satisfaction.

Just before the movement could push him over the edge, he let out a desperate groan and pulled your head away. He couldn’t risk spending himself just yet, especially since you haven’t come first.

Sitting down on the grass to meet your height, he cupped your jaw and pulled you into a deep kiss. His chest heaved against yours as he breathed you in, using the collision of your lips to ground himself and soothe the aching throb of his cock.

“Baby…” he breathed against your skin, pulling back to rest his head against your shoulder. You let out a hum as you felt his calloused fingers slide beneath the edge of your top. A shiver ran down your spine as his thumb brushed over your bare chest, his touch hot as he began to tease your nipple, making your tail curl in responsr.

“I wanna try something that we haven’t done before.”

“What is it, pretty boy?”

Neteyam looked up at you, cheeks flushed. “I want… I want you to sit on my face. If that’s okay?” You blinked, surprised by his request. Your face heated up fast as you processed what he just said.

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna suffocate you with my… weight.” Neteyam shook his head, hands resting on your thighs. “I’m sure. And you won’t.”

You bit your lip. “What if I hurt you?”

He squeezed your skin and leaned up to peck your lips. “Again, you won’t.”

You hesitated for another second before moving up his body. You positioned yourself over his chest, thighs on either side of his head. Neteyam untied your loincloth before looking up at you with wide eyes.

“Baby… I’m not sure about this. I don’t think I can behave.”

He smiled softly. “Trust me, okay? If you’rr okay with it, then it’ll be fine. I got you.”

You nodded before lowering yourself, not putting your full weight on him yet. “Tell me if it’s too much?” Neteyam nodded, hands holding your thighs. “I will. Just sit, please.”

You finally lowered yourself onto his face. Neteyam immediately held your thighs firmly and started licking your pussy, moaning against you. You gasped, hands gripping his hair as pleasure shot through you. “Oh… Neteyam…”

He held your thighs tighter, tongue moving eagerly. You tried to keep some of your weight off him, but he pulled you down harder. “Don’t hold back,” he mumbled against your pussy. “I want all of you. Suffocate me if you may.”

Neteyam knew he was losing it.

From the way your lips sucked him down had already left him hard and aching against his loincloth, but now that he’s tasting you again pushed him straight over the edge. He was practically mindless with need, his hips humping the air as he starved in your inner thighs.

You moaned louder, hips starting to roll against his face. Neteyam groaned, eyes rolling back as he tasted you. “So good… that’s right, use me.” You were breathing hard, trying not to crush him but losing control from how good his tongue felt.

He licked you hungrily, sucking on your clit while pushing his tongue inside you. “You’re so wet, baby...”

You grabbed his braids tighter. “Neteyam… fuck.”

He kept sucking and licking, still addicted to your taste. You were shaking, rolling your hips faster on his face. “Neteyam… I’m close.” He groaned against you, eyes rolling back again. “Go on… let me taste you.”

You came hard with a loud moan, thighs trembling around his head. Neteyam moaned too, drinking every drop as his eyes rolled back. “Oh shit…” You squeaked, quickly lifting yourself off him before falling onto the grass beside him.

Neteyam sat up and moved on top of you, pulling you into a kiss. You wrapped your legs around his hips and your arms around his shoulders, deepening the kiss. Your back arched against his chest as you both moaned into each other’s mouths.

You pulled away from the kiss, gazing up at him with almost heart eyes. Neteyam smiled down at you, and cupped your cheeks. Your jaw dropped, heart stopping for a moment as you had a feeling of wgat will happen.

“Y/n…” he mumbled, his voice cracking with an emotion so raw it made your chest ache. “Not once did I ever regret chasing after you. Everything that I did, I would do it again, a thousand times over.”

You smiled, your heart swelling to the point of tears. “Neteyam…”

“I’ve always known... ever since we were children, I knew that the woman I wanted to lead and raise this clan with was you. The day I saved you, I also knew. It’s you that I want for the rest of my days, y/n. I’ll choose you over and over again, in this life and the next.”

You couldnt bring yourself to utter a word. Neteyam noticed the tears slipping down your cheeks and used the pad of his thumb to wipe your wet eyes. “I know we always dreamed of mating beneath the glowing tendrils of the Tree of Souls, and I promise you, I’ll still take you there no matter how much you want. We’ll stand before the Greatmother and give her a show of our romance.”

You laughed and his eyes burned into yours, his hand traveled down to the base of his neck, carefully bringing his braided queue forward. “But I cannot wait another night to bind my soul to yours... Will you please let me choose you? Right now?”

“...Yes. We’ll do it again and again and again and… again,” Your heart hammered against your ribs as you brought your own in front, your hands trembling as you both looked at it. When the neural tendrils of your queues met, blooming and wrapping around each other, a violent gasp left both of your lips.

You felt the agonizing pain he went through when he thought he’d lose you, the pride he felt standing up to the elders, and the warmth of how consumed by you he was.

Neteyam groaned, the intensity of the bond sending a massive shriving through his long frame. He leaned down, burying his face in the crook of your neck as his unreleased length pressed against you, holding you so close like he wanted to press you directly into his skin.

He pulled away from your neck the moment you murmured for him to, his heavy breaths fanning over your skin. Reaching up, you cupped his high cheekbones, guiding his face down to capture his lips in another lingering kiss.

When you finally parted, you stayed close, your eyes tracing the breathtaking pattern of the bioluminescent dots glowing across his skin, pulsing in sync with his racing heart.

“I’m so in love with you, Neteyam.”

His breath hitched, his chest rising beneath your touch. “I—I’m soooo much in love with you more… y/n.”

You could feel his love flowing through your bond. You pulled each other back in, dissolving into a heated making-out session. He didn’t wanna pull away from your lips for even a second, his hands gripping you as your kisses were the very air he needed to breathe.

He guided his cock down, teasing the sensitive entrance of your heat. The sudden touch made you let out a breathless moan into his mouth. Pulling back from the kiss, you locked your arms around his broad shoulders, burying your face into the crook of his neck. “Put it in…”

He didn’t make you wait, sinking his hips in, he guided himself inside you. The slick warmth from your recent release combined with his own made the entering smooth, his thick length stretching you open completely.

Heat coursed through your shared bond the exact moment you were filled. Neteyam froze, holding himself perfectly still to let you adjust to his size. “Y/n…”

You could feel how much he wanted to move but was holding back for you. You wrapped your legs tighter around his waist, pulling him deeper. “Move, Neteyam… I need you.” He groaned and started thrusting, “You feel so good, baby. So warm around me.”

You moaned, hands running down his back as he moved inside you. He kissed your neck, breathing against your skin. “I’ve wanted this for so long…”

You tilted your head to give him more access, fingers digging into his shoulders. “Me too… missed feeling you like this.”

“Missed you more…” He kept his pace slow and deep, making sure you felt every inch. “You’re so tight.. I love it so much.”

“R-Right there…” Your back arched as he hit that perfect spot inside you. Neteyam groaned, burying his face in your neck again. “Right there? Does that feel good?”

You nodded, moaning his name. “Yesss… don’t stop.”

He lifted his head to look at you, eyes soft even as he kept thrusting. “I won’t. I love being inside you. Especially right now… I can feel almost everythng.”

You pulled him down for a kiss, tongues sliding together slowly. Neteyam broke the kiss to rest his forehead against yours again. “I missed you so damn much… I just really hope I won’t ever wake up from this dream.”

You bit your lip. “I don’t wanna wake up as well if that’s the case.”

Neteyam kept his weight balanced over you, chest pressed against yours as he moved inside you. His breath was hot against your ear with every slow thrust.

You moaned loudly, arms wrapped around his back. His golden eyes stayed locked on yours, darkening with heat as he watched your face. “You’re so beautiful like this,” he whispered, voice rough. “I cannot believe I get to have you. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever gazed upon.”

You blushed hard, cheeks turning deep purple as he kept praising you. “Neteyam…”

He grinned, still thrusting. “I’m the luckiest man alive. Getting to be inside you like this, feeling you clench around me… it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”

You whimpered louder, legs tightening around his waist. Neteyam kissed your neck, still whispering against your skin. “I don’t know hwo many times I have to say this but you’re so perfect… I could stay like this forever with you.”

Your hands moved up to his face, pulling him down for a kiss. He kissed you deeply, hips still rolling slowly. You whined into his mouth. “Neteyam… I’m close again.”

He groaned, picking up the pace just a little. “Okay, baby. Let me feel you come around me. You look so pretty when you do, y’know.” You blushed even harder, moaning his name as the orgasm washed over you.

Neteyam kept moving through your orgasm, chasing his own release. His thrusts became deeper and a little faster as he kissed your face. “Fuckkk baby… you’re squeezing me so tight.”

Yor legs wrapped around his waist as you took every thrusts he gave you. Neteyam groaned against your neck, breathing hard. “I-I’m so close, y/n…”

You held onto his shoulders, nails digging in. “Go on, Nteeyam. I want to feel you.”

He whimpered, hips snapping harder as he got closer. “I’m going to fill you up. Going to cum so deep inside you. You want that?”

You kissed his neck, whispering against his skin. “Do it. I want it all. ​W-wanna be swelled with your children...” you cried out softly, your back arching up into his. “Wanna carry your life inside me, please...”

“F-Fuck...” He whimpered, thrusting deep one last time before he came hard. His body shook as he filled you, moaning your name against your shoulder.

A synchronized moan tore from both of your lips as your walls suddenly clamped tight, pulsing and clenching around him as you felt him cum inside you.

You heard his racing pulse, felt the thud of his heart, your minds bled into one another as you knew his thoughts, felt the devotion consuming his mind as he completely lost himself to you.

He stayed buried deep inside you, his breaths hot over your neck as the aftershocks of his release slowly calmed down. Sinking his weight over you, his large arms wrapped around you, pulling you so close against his chest.

“Forgive me, yawne…” he whispered into your shoulder.

You let out a tired chuckle, your fingers tangling into the beads of his braids. “I can feel you, Neteyam. You feel guilty?”

He seallowed, burying his face deeper into the crook of your neck, queues still connected. “I do. I feel like we spend so much of our time in heat... I don’t want you to think I only see you for this. I mean—”

Your heart swelled at his adorableness, pulling back to look into his eyes, you cupped his cheek, letting your thumb trace his high cheekbone. “But I love this with you, Neteyam,” you whispered softly, your thoughts bleeding straight through him that he could feel the truth of it. “It makes me feel so beautifully close to you. Especially now, knowing our souls are tied.”

“Did you mean that, too?” he asked. “When you talked about... yknow...” He couldn’tbeven finish the sentence, a dark flush spreading across his face as you laughed at how flustered he was.

“About having your kids?” you teased, your smirk widening. You caught his jaw, pecking his hot cheek affectionately. “Of course. I meant every word, baby. You’re the only one I want to bear children for.”

He smiled, pressing a peck to your jawline while still holding you beside him. “I see you, y/n.”

“I see you, too.”

extras:

҉　- main story canon compliant piece.

Ꮺ୧ making out w/ better bobby. Ꮺ୧ better you! ҉　 Ꮺ୧ "baby." ҉　 Ꮺ୧ "open your mouth." Ꮺ୧ pillow fort. Ꮺ୧ in the beginning. ҉　 Ꮺ୧ my, what long tongue you have. Ꮺ୧ sunlight. ҉　 Ꮺ୧ slow dancing. ҉　 Ꮺ୧ rib time. Ꮺ୧ conceiving w/ bb. Ꮺ୧ bb watching you w/ bobby. ҉　 Ꮺ୧ intimacy hdcs w/ BB. Ꮺ୧ memories. ҉　 Ꮺ୧ cuteness aggression. Ꮺ୧ twins au. / bb & bobby. Ꮺ୧ mr. kitty. ҉　 Ꮺ୧ entity discourse. Ꮺ୧ tolerance.

⎋ M.E.G. ENTITY 0 — RESEARCH FILE INDEX:

↹ MEG-ENT-0000-ADDM-██ — Restricted Addendum: Reproductive Capability Assessment (Filed Under Protest)

extras:

҉　- main story canon compliant piece.

Ꮺ୧ making out w/ better bobby. Ꮺ୧ better you! ҉　 Ꮺ୧ "baby." ҉　 Ꮺ୧ "open your mouth." Ꮺ୧ pillow fort. Ꮺ୧ in the beginning. ҉　 Ꮺ୧ my, what long tongue you have. Ꮺ୧ sunlight. ҉　 Ꮺ୧ slow dancing. ҉　 Ꮺ୧ rib time. Ꮺ୧ conceiving w/ bb. Ꮺ୧ bb watching you w/ bobby. ҉　 Ꮺ୧ intimacy hdcs w/ BB. Ꮺ୧ memories. ҉　 Ꮺ୧ cuteness aggression. Ꮺ୧ twins au. / bb & bobby. Ꮺ୧ mr. kitty. ҉　 Ꮺ୧ entity discourse. Ꮺ୧ tolerance.

⎋ M.E.G. ENTITY 0 — RESEARCH FILE INDEX:

↹ MEG-ENT-0000-ADDM-██ — Restricted Addendum: Reproductive Capability Assessment (Filed Under Protest)

But where was the danger now? In your costal little town, in your cozy little house, in each other's arms, married. Everything you dreamed of together.

You could feel his cock pulsing, his brows were furrowed as sweat dripped across them, his mouth open and body taunt, resisting staying inside your pussy, but just barely. He couldn't make his mind up so you did it for him. When he pulled back you locked your legs around him, ankles firmly pressed over each other and arms around his back. "I don't care if you do it inside. I want it, I want your cum, I want you make me pregnant. Don't just say it this time. Please." You didn't expect the rush of emotions when you said the words, or the tears down your cheeks.

"Babe... you really mean that? You want to make me a dad?" Zoro smiled down at you and let his cock sink back in balls deep, out as far as your legs allowed before your thighs squeezed around his hips and you pulled him back down.

"Yes... put a baby in me please, please..." You whimpered, begged and pulled at him, your cunt trying to keep his cock from going anywhere but deeper inside. Zoro pushed himself up, pressing on you harder, your knees pushed closer to your chest and slammed into you with a new purpose. "Please... daddy."

a/n: Hey readers! Long time no see - hope your holidays were fantastic. As promised, I'm releasing this in January. Please let me know your thoughts and don't forget to reblog! There is a sensitive scene filled with macho bullshit at the start but it doesn't last long. I must say, writing for Chan is always such a ride. Anyways, enjoy! 🖤🌻

Smut: dom/sub dynamics, dry sex, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (don't), dacryphilia (crying/begging kink)

Explicit content - minors do not interact.

“Look at Y/n for example, she’s hot but also a gaming nerd obsessed with Kpop so she hardly gets any. We should be going after girls like that since they’re not the sluts showing their tits on OnlyFans.”

You slid further into the couch, trying to make yourself look small. Your mind was a haze and you could hardly stand up for yourself like you normally would. Your colleague was making the most ridiculous, sexist statements that screamed ‘Andrew Tate’ but all you could do was try and hide your shaking nerves. It had gotten so bad that your teeth were chattering. Jack had always been nice to you and you thought he was a solid guy but a different side was brought out when he revealed the party favours. You had accepted the invitation to his house warming without worrying about what the night would hold - your plan was to show up, act impressed at the large space, have one drink and then bounce. It couldn’t have been further from the truth because now you were sitting in a room with around six people, coming down from the coke they had pressured you into taking (you were too inebriated to say no) and he was spouting all this bullshit about how women were always out to get each other and kissing you all over your face. The more invasive he got about your body, your sex life and the inferiority of women, the more you froze up. You had never felt so unsafe before so you stumbled to the bathroom, trying to think fast - who could you message to come get you? It was 3 am in the city and most people were either too drunk or asleep. Who could you count on to always answer the phone? Who would you feel safe with whilst coming down? The questions were racing through your brain and you were about to give up when a name hit you square in the face. He was here. You thought hard about this - he had arrived the previous day and you hadn’t seen him in years. Would you really want your friend’s older brother seeing you high? Yes, you had kept in touch over the years - he had even gotten you a VIP ticket at a discount price - but this was too much. Suddenly, a knocking startled you out of your reverie.

“Y/n?”

It was Jack.

“What are you doing in there? Do another line with us because you’re looking way too sober, you can stay over!”

Oh fuck no.

You texted Chan.

You didn’t know how much time had passed - perched miserably on the couch, staring into space when a banging was heard over the music. The others looked at each other warily and a girl proceeded to open the door, widening her eyes. In strode a medium-length broad-chested man wearing a tight black t-shirt, ripped jeans and a black cap pulled low over his face. His silver earring glinted in the soft lighting. He tipped his head at her slightly and then lifted his head, serious eyes searching for something. When they landed on you, his jaw clenched. Hard. You struggled to focus but you were pretty sure you looked wrecked. Crossing the room, he knelt down at your side, glaring at the guy next to you who shifted further away. 

“Y/n.”

“Channie,” you breathed out, relief etched across your features.

He cupped your cheek softly and sucked in a breath, finally taking note of the situation. When he saw the white lines of powder on the mirror in the middle of the table, his head whipped back to you with a questioning frown - you could only nod in response, too ashamed to admit to it verbally. His frown deepened and you instinctively cowered back in response - why did you think it was a good idea to text him? But, as if he knew what you were thinking, he grabbed your hand and rubbed soothing circles into the back of it, trying his best to school his expression. 

“Knew it was too good to be true.”

Why couldn’t he just shut up? Chan shifted himself so that he was facing the rest of the room, scowl deepening with every second. 

“What?”

Jack eyed him from where he was pacing, “I said it was too good to be true. Here I was, thinking that Y/n was so innocent - I was actually telling her to go to Korea to hook up before she grows old in order to satisfy her curiosity. With that hair, those tits and face - they would definitely notice her! But I had no idea she had already found herself one. Careful, Y/n, don’t turn into one of those loose bitches.” 

There was so much to unpack here and your eyes widened in horror, frustrated tears pooling in your eyes. How dare this asshole speak about a culture like that? All you did was appreciate Kpop, the fact that he had implied it was a fetish for you had your brain spiraling. You didn’t even care about the remarks about your body - he had insinuated that you were sleeping with Chan and that you were only sleeping with him because he was Korean. You didn’t know where to look, humiliated and furious beyond belief. You opened your mouth, about to rip him a new one, but the man next to you had stood up, hands balled lightly into fists and eyes stern.

“Say one more thing to her and I’ll tear your head off.” 

You couldn’t look up, too anxious to lift your head but the tone of his voice sent a ripple of fear through you. You could see it mirrored in the others’ faces because they immediately grabbed Jack and whispered in his ear. He casually sat down with a grin.

“I’m just messing around, man, what you do with your free time is not my problem. You sound like you’re from around here - have a line with us, let’s chat. What’s your type?”

Oh, this guy was deranged. Chan turned to you again, trying to meet your eyes in order to assess the damage. When he saw the panic he gently helped you up, pushing past the others with an arm around your shoulders. He silently led you down the stairs and while you waited for an uber, he held you close. You shook in his warmth, his strong arms encircling you - you were too embarrassed to look at him and he knew this so he whispered soothing words into your ear. He helped you into the car and when the driver set off, he started to talk.

“You all right?”

You studiously avoided him and he gently touched your hand, waiting a while before trying again. 

“Y/n, look at me.”

You sighed and looked at him from the corner of your eye. He noticed something outside the window and straightened up.

“We can talk inside.”

Inside? You saw that you were entering an underground carpark of a hotel and turned to face him fully with an eyebrow cocked. 

“You can’t honestly believe I would drop you off at your place after all that’s happened, right? Especially in this condition…” His voice had softened and he was back to stroking your hand. You just blinked and turned away again, feeling his hand retract. 

When the car stopped, he opened the door for you, guiding you in with a gentle hand on the small of your back. He pulled out a keycard and you were ushered into an elevator. A thought struck you and you forced out a hushed question.

“Chan, we’re not going to your room, are we? What if the others found out?”

“Don’t worry, I booked another room as soon as you texted.”

Oh. You felt something that you couldn’t identify. Why would he do all this for you? Where was the boy who would push you into the pool as kids, who’d lock you out the house when you came over? You studied him surreptitiously - at least, you thought you were discreet. It had been years since you’d last seen him - you had obviously seen photos and videos, being a fan of their music, but nothing compared to the real thing. His shoulders had broadened, his face had become more defined and the look in his eyes had matured. When did his arms turn into those? Even in your beaten down state, you could appreciate this evolution. But you shook your head, you would not think of him like that. You hadn’t really spoken to his sister since you grew apart in first year but it was still slightly odd to find her brother attractive. You’d had a puppy crush on him back then but wasn’t that normal? It didn’t feel normal right now. You felt like a creep and tried not to let your admiration show. He and Lily only had a few years between them and you used to go over there quite often as kids which is why you had exchanged the odd message every couple years or so. He must have seen you as the annoyance of his childhood - especially now. He led you to your room at the end of the corridor, keeping his hand on you. You wished he would let go and just step back.

When you were inside he turned to you.

“Have a seat and I’ll be right back.” 

You grabbed his hand as he tried to walk past you, silently asking him not to leave you. He removed his hand carefully and cupped your face, murmuring, “Don’t worry, I’m just getting you some clothes. Take a shower and I’ll be back before you know it.”

You slowly nodded and took a deep breath, watching him leave then you looked around. The room was magnificent. Everything was lit up in a soft, golden glow and the furniture was plush and new. The bed was monstrous and looked like you would sink straight into the mattress. But none of that registered with you - you felt disgusting. A dark cloud of insecurity had settled over you, chilling you to the bone. You had never done that particular drug before but the comedown was bleak. You felt so vulnerable, convinced that no one would be there for you. If Chan hadn’t been in the country, how would this night have ended? The chill had numbed you, made you apathetic - you were upset but couldn’t get the emotion out. You wandered into the bathroom, hoping the heat from the shower would warm you up and get you to feel something.

A soft knock on the door had you startling out of your thought process. Chan’s voice came through, telling you he had left the clothes outside the bathroom. You heard his footsteps retreat back into the room. When had he gotten back? You realised you’d been in the shower for a while, trying to get the heat back into your bones but it hadn’t worked. You felt cold. Cold and alone. You wrapped a towel around your shivering shoulders and cracked the door open, swiping an arm out for the clothing. You pulled on the navy blue t-shirt which was wonderfully baggy and settled on your thighs but the pyjama trousers were way too uncomfortable so you decided to forgo those. You were now faced with a dilemma - do you don your underwear or do you go commando in order to separate yourself from the night’s events? You skipped the panties. The shirt was so long that he wouldn’t notice anyway - at least, you hoped not.

You exited the room, still feeling nothing but the biting cold. Chan was settled on a champagne coloured armchair on the other side of the room, freshly showered and dressed in a black t-shirt and soft, cotton shorts. His dark hair was still damp and he was busy running his hand through it, looking tired. As soon as he saw you he froze, eyes raking down your bare legs. You almost felt a spark. Almost. When he noticed you shudder, he nodded towards the bedside table closest to him where a steaming cup of tea sat. You gingerly walked around the bed to his side and opened the duvet, sliding into the bed and propping yourself up against the headboard as gracefully as possible - your mind was still numb yet full of images, you needed this cloying frost to dissipate. 

“Y/n.”

You lifted your mouth from the cup, sighing in defeat as the hot water still did nothing for your nerves. You wanted to scream but the emotion was so deeply embedded into your chest that you couldn’t claw it out. 

“Y/n.”

You met his gaze timidly. He was bent over, resting his elbows on his muscular thighs to be closer to you and you took in every detail. Tired but warm eyes, curly hair, prominent nose and a plush mouth. A plush mouth that was pulled down in a concerned grimace. Again, you almost felt something stir. 

“How are you feeling?”

You cleared your throat and willed yourself to speak but only a whisper was heard, “Better now, thanks to you.”

He narrowed his eyes but did not refute you.

“What happened tonight?”

“I went to a housewarming party and took drugs, that’s all.” You couldn’t bear to go into details, it was all too raw. 

“Did you accept the coke willingly?”

You thought about it, did you consent? To be honest, you couldn’t remember much of how it started.

“Well, I didn’t say no…”

“Were you drunk when they offered you some?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever taken it before?”

“No.”

“Fuck.” 

“I’m sorry..”

Chan snapped his head up from where he had been glaring at the floor and looked at you in confusion, “For what?”

You didn’t want to talk about it but knew you had to since you owed him that much, “For what he said. About you. You have to know - that isn’t - I would never…” Chan made a furious noise at the back of his throat.

“Don’t apologise for that asshole! You have nothing to feel guilty about - how long have we known each other? I know you. You have a kind and beautiful soul. God, when he said those things about you, about your body - I thought I was going to have to bury a corpse. You don’t go near him again, got it?” 

You didn’t respond, looking down at your hands until you felt him remove your cup. 

“Hey. Don’t cry, I’m here now - you’re safe.” You hadn’t even registered the icy droplets running down your cheeks. He grabbed your hand and looked into your eyes, “How are you feeling? Are you sober?”

You numbly nodded your head and stated in a small voice, “I can’t feel anything except the cold - I can’t warm up.” 

“Here, move up.” He slipped into the bed and tugged you down, coaxing you into turning on your side and wrapping his arms around you - effectively spooning you. Your breath hitched in your throat as you finally felt a spark of heat run up your back. Turns out, you needed to feel safe in order to heat up. But it was still not enough. Chan felt you shiver and pulled you closer, not an inch of space between you. He then started talking in order to distract you.

“Are you still a horror fanatic?”

“What?”

“I remember you and Lily being obsessed with those god-awful movies about possession and zombies - remember thinking, how could these munchkins enjoy that stuff? But then, your true colours revealed themselves and I was more terrified of you two, to be honest.”

You chuckled weakly along with him and bit back, “Hey, it’s not my fault you were scared of your own shadow - you made it way too easy to get back at you for all the times you’d bully us.” He shifted behind you with a sound of incredulity, “Excuse me, how was I able to be the bully when two vicious girls were ganging up on me all the time. If anything, I’m the victim here.” He giggled, hugging you tighter instinctively and you bit back a gasp. His face was now buried in your neck and you suddenly lost the ability to breathe. 

“Do you ever talk to Lily?” He murmured against your skin.

Sighing, you felt yourself grow sad again. “No… I let us drift at uni, didn’t make enough effort with all the shit I had going on. I feel so guilty, she must hate -” He cut you off, turning you to face him.

“Hey. No, she doesn’t. I know my sister and she has a tendency to get swept up in her own life, she is just as much to blame and she’ll come around if you reach out. Besides, no one could ever hate you.”

 He stared into your eyes for a couple seconds and you felt yourself heat up some more. But it was still not enough. The frost would dissipate for a few moments and then insidiously pull you back in again. At this point, you didn’t know what to do and he must have recognised the insecurity in your eyes because he gently brushed your hair away from your face. 

“Y/n…” he breathed. “What’s up?”

Your lip trembled. 

“I’m so cold.”

“Still?”

The frustration pulled at his features as his mind raced. He entwined his legs with yours and stroked your hair and then… And then he softly pressed his full lips against your forehead, lingering. The warmth trickled from that point all the way to your toes and you let out a relieved sigh. He took note and rested his forehead against yours - the calm gradually stretched until it twisted into something else, something heavy. It built until he tilted your face up slowly but instead of stopping there, he searched your eyes carefully and found whatever he was looking for because his own widened and you felt his heart race as he pressed his nose against yours. 

You felt dizzy but this was the boost of emotion you were chasing so you closed the distance and brushed your lips against his. It wasn’t fireworks, not by a long shot. It was the comfort you needed which was a million times better. You moved slowly in tandem, experimentally angling your heads and applying different degrees of pressure - when you accepted his silky tongue he melted into your mouth, hand moving down to your hip.

You couldn’t believe this was happening - kissing Channie after all these years was never on the agenda. You were so lost in your head that when he made a strangled noise and pulled back, staring at you in a panic, you were thoroughly confused. Did you do something wrong? Were you a bad kisser? 

“You’re not wearing any underwear!”

Oh. Right. Fuck.

You looked down quickly, realising he had been stroking your naked hip under the shirt. Where his fingers trailed, a line of fire was left in their wake - the desire was clogging your throat. Not enough. He made to disentangle himself but you weren’t about to let that happen so you pulled him back, swinging your leg over his hip, grinding up against his clothed erection. You both keened hard into each other’s mouths, caught up in the situation. The frosty darkness had started to seep from you entirely and you felt the knot unravel in your chest but all of a sudden, Chan pulled back, panic flitting across his face again. His chest was heaving in exertion and something else, you weren’t sure what.

“We can’t… we can’t do this.” 

“Why!” Your outburst shocked the both of you but you didn’t care. Anything to feel. Anything to get rid of the gnawing ache of fear inside of you.

“Please, Chan, please, I need this. I need to feel warm, I need to feel safe, I need to get rid of this pain, I can’t….” You didn’t even notice the tears running down your face in absolute devastation. He quickly moved back in and cupped your face, whispering, “Hey, sshh, sweetheart, you’re okay. You’re okay. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

You quietened down, soft whimpers falling from your lips as he gently pushed you onto your back and caged you in. He lifted up to rip his shirt off and then leaned back over you, bringing his lips down to yours. When you tried to remove yours too, however, he grabbed your wrists to stop you.

“If we’re doing this, we’re doing this my way.” Never breaking eye contact, he parted your legs and settled between them. He brushed your hair to the side and when he started to softly suck a mark into your neck, his hips started rolling. And rolling. And rolling. 

“Fuck, Channie!” 

You were in agony. There was so much, almost too much. His strong arms kept you close, the heat from his shining chest washing over you - you were separated by the thin layer of his cotton shorts but nothing could prevent you from feeling his enormous, leaking member grinding against your pulsing clit. You begged to remove your shirt but he wouldn’t let you, hands staying over the material - he didn’t even caress your breasts. You couldn’t worry about it though, not when he was giving it to you so good. 

“I-I think I’m gonna cum,” you panted against his skin to which he groaned a response. 

“Yeah? You gonna cum for me, baby?” He started sucking harsher marks onto your collar bones, speeding up his movements. 

“Cum for me, sweetheart.”

The orgasm ripped through you - it was unlike anything you had ever felt before, the fire spread over you, burning everything in its wake. 

You were finally safe.

When he was sure you had come down from your high, he lifted his head, looking at you. Simply looking at you with blown pupils and you had no idea what he was thinking but, at that moment, you didn’t mind. He kissed you sweetly and rolled off you, spooning you again. Before you drifted off, you heard a faint murmur into your hair.

“Good night, baby girl.”

The sun was high in the sky when you woke up. When you woke up alone in a hotel room, to be exact. You tried to rack your brain in your sleepy state and it took you a few moments but boy, did it pay off when the memories came rushing back. Chan had brought you here. Chan had brought you here and you’d had dry sex. But wait… You sat up swiftly. Where did he go? Did he not enjoy it? You remembered your mindblowing orgasm but couldn’t remember his. Oh god. You had embarrassed yourself. You had begged him to fuck you and he hadn’t even enjoyed it. You had taken advantage of him in your desperate state and it was a pity fuck. Quite frankly, you wanted to disappear. As you turned around to bury yourself into the pillow, two foreign items on the bedside table caught your eye - a coffee cup and a paper bag. There was no note. Good old Chan, despite thinking you were pathetic, he still took care of you. You grabbed your phone off the table, checking for messages but none were from him. What was interesting was the notification you received about a concert that night - a certain Stray Kids concert you would be attending as a VIP. You sucked in a deep breath and then let out a huge..

“FUCK!”

“What’s he staring at?” 

“I don’t think it’s a what, I think it’s a who.”

“I can hear you.”

Chan turned around from where he had been standing backstage and the two who had been observing him, Hyunjin and Jisung, took the opportunity to sneak around him. They craned their necks as they located the object of his scrutiny. The smaller crowd had walked in to see their soundcheck and so it was easy to spot you.

“Ahhhh is that the girl you raced to help last night, Ch-rizz-topher?”

“Ooh I can see why, she’s hot!”

“Shut the fuck up, Hyunjin.” Chan rubbed his temple and stared at you again, brows furrowing as he noticed a young guy lead you to your seat, hand on your lower back. He couldn’t blame him though - you looked amazing. You were wearing a tight contraption in your skin colour with red outlines tucked into black jeans, and a black leather jacket thrown over. The corset gave the impression that your torso was bare with blazing streaks across your body and he visibly twitched. Why did you have to wear that? The guilt was eating away at him already. 

“What are you guys staring at?” Minho and Changbin had just joined the fray.

“Chan-hyung’s girl!”

Minho moved closer, “The girl from last night? She’s hot.” 

Changbin eagerly nodded along and Chan could feel his blood pressure rising.

“Guys, she is not my girl. Simply Lily’s friend who needed help.”

“Hey Seungmin! Check out Chan-hyung’s hot girlfriend who happens to be Lily’s friend!”

“Jesus Christ, Jeongin!”

Chan had had enough. He couldn’t have this distracting them right now. They were about to go onstage in a city near his home and they needed to focus. He decided it would be best for everyone if he ignored you so, squaring his shoulders, he said something that he thought would end the discussion.

“She’s like a sister to me.”

“So you mean she’s available? OW, WHAT THE FU-”

You were right. You had embarrassed yourself last night. There were a number of factors that led up to this conclusion. Firstly, he hadn’t texted you since the incident. You chalked it up to his schedule but you were slightly hurt by the notion that he didn’t want to check up on you. Despite your mortification, you had dressed up really nicely - you weren’t sure why as you would not let it get to you. He was just busy. But now, as he walked down the stage, right past you, he kept his eyes carefully trained away from you. You knew he was aware of you, it was obvious by the way his jaw was clenched. You sighed inwardly - this was awful. Would you get the chance to apologise or would he shut you out completely? At this thought, your throat closed up but you were getting ahead of yourself. One step at a time. 

The concert was incredible. You had never had so much fun in your life despite feeling the underlying stress of the situation. The boys were so talented and gorgeous. You admired Chan and even though you knew you shouldn’t, the events of the previous night flitted through your mind. When he hugged Minho tightly from behind, you felt his arms around you too - soothing you to sleep. When he brushed the hair from Felix’s eyes, you felt his featherlight touch as he dried your tears. When he lifted his shirt you were reminded of the smooth, hard muscles rippling under your fingertips as he brought you to your demise; and when he turned around, you remembered the firmness of that ass, clenching in your grip. Fuck - this was not happening. You were not growing feelings for him, were you? He had simply helped you out platonically and the way he was ignoring you proved that. But you found yourself questioning everything when he pulled his tight pants lower surreptitiously, showing his happy trail and briefs. You saw him look at other girls and your heart dropped - his dimple was on full display for everyone but you… You were shaken from your maudlin thoughts, however, when the other members drew your attention. They seemed to have taken quite a shine to you, completing hearts and throwing big smiles your way. It didn’t seem like a coincidence by the way that Chan visibly tensed up and pulled Hyunjin away from your side of the stage or smacked Changbin over the head when he sat down and stared at you during a speech. How much did they know? They were quite obviously getting a rise out of him and you were kind of enjoying it immensely. You were about to give up hope completely until something finally happened. It was during Red Lights. Chan was directly in front of you when he was doing his floor work and when he lifted himself up somewhat, his eyes locked with yours. You felt the air escape your lungs. The way his revealing jacket gleamed in the red spotlight, making his firm chest glow; the way the sweat trailed down his neck; the way his pretty pink mouth parted. All that made you dizzy but what had you wet was his stare. His stare. The way his dark eyes drove into you, the way his brows furrowed in consternation. You couldn’t decipher what he was feeling but you needed him. You hoped he craved you too. You were royally screwed. 

The members were backstage while the audience was watching a video, getting ready for the final number. Minho saw Chan nervously darting his eyes to the wall, as if he had suddenly received the gift of X-ray vision. Chuckling lightly, he rested his chin on his shoulder and proceeded to play the part of the devil.

“How you doing?”

“Fine.”

“She’s alone here, right?”

“Yeah. Wait, I mean, I think so?”

“She staying at the hotel again?”

“How did you know where she stayed?” Chan turned to him in confusion. Minho merely smirked which annoyed him further and he turned back around, moving to catch a glimpse of you. His second in command zeroed in again.

“So? She coming with us?”

“No.” Chan grit his teeth, wanting nothing more to do with the situation. Nothing more to do with you.

“But… how will she get home? You can’t expect her to wait outside, in the cold, in the dark, alone, for a random taxi?”

Chan faltered at that. What kind of person would he be if he left you alone without checking up on you? He thought back to how small, vulnerable, scared you looked sitting on that couch and his heart clenched, the anger stirred. He still had your room since he didn’t know how much time you needed to rest so what was stopping him? He didn’t want to think about the answer to that question.

“Fine.” We probably have something to discuss anyway.

You were singing along with the final number when you heard a voice in your ear, shocking the bejeezus out of you. You turned around to find the young, attractive usher from earlier hovering - he beckoned you closer and told you to meet him by the side door as soon as the audience started filing out. You tentatively agreed, knowing what this meant and wondering what the fuck you were going to say when you were face to face with the man you simultaneously wanted to kick and kiss. As you turned back to the stage you caught him quickly turning his gaze away from the two of you - did you perhaps affect him in the same way? No, surely not. He was probably just annoyed at his protective instincts - that’s what landed you in this mess in the first place.

You realised you had zoned out because when you came to, most were cheering and moving around to leave. This was your cue. You moved to the door behind you and loitered a bit until the staff member came to get you. His name was James and he really was very nice but you couldn’t reciprocate his flirting - not when you were about to meet him. He led you through the corridor all the way to the back of the building and knocked on the door of the green room. You felt a warm sensation on your lower back and noticed his hand resting there - before you could ask him to remove it the door opened, revealing a wet-haired Changbin in fresh clothes. He opened the door with a wide smile and stepped back to let you in. You looked beyond him and saw Chan staring daggers at the man behind you who dropped his hand reluctantly. You thanked him gently and walked in. 

You knew this was a mistake the moment you did because Chan went back to ignoring you, making you feel very out of place. The room was big, couches settled against the walls and make-up stations set up in the middle but, because of the absolute rejection, you felt the walls squeeze you in from all sides. Your heart stuttered and you started to instinctively move back. This was worse than you thought. How would you two ever be able to go back to normal? You wanted to be alone to mourn your childhood but, just as you were about to make your excuses and leave, a hand guided you to the couch where you were gently pushed down. The man followed you swiftly and sat by your side - it was almost invasive. You turned your head and found yourself staring at the most beautiful pair of lips. Hyunjin. His voice was like molten silk, sliding over your nerves, settling you. 

“So what’s your name?”

“Y/n.”

“A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

You heard a scoff from somewhere and straightened up, refusing to appear vulnerable. Minho jumped into your line of sight and towered over you, gripping the couch. 

“So. You’re the girl Chan valiantly rescued last night.” He smirked evilly, shooting a look at him who had his back to you, shoulders tensed. He still hadn’t acknowledged you. Minho, undeterred, was on a roll.

“How long have you known each other? Because he was frantic when he got the message from you. You two must be awfully close. Isn’t that right, Chan? I think he’d practically do anything for you.”

You schooled your breathing and answered without thinking, using his childhood nickname, “Well Channie and I -”

“Of course, I would. She’s basically my little sister.”

He didn’t look at you as he cut you off and you fought to swallow down the bile comprised of hurt, shame, anger. You knew he was in the right since you forced him into what had happened but you couldn’t help it. You needed to be wanted, you needed to be seen as a woman so you decided to fight fire with fire and focus on the members instead. You let a mask slide across your features.

 Leaning back, you smiled demurely up at Minho, saying nothing in return. You took in the other boys - they were all so striking, so unique. Jeongin was staring at you shyly, Seungmin was maintaining nonchalant eye contact and Jisung was adjusting his belt. Good god. Felix had made himself comfy on the other side of you and thrown his arm around your shoulders, murmuring into your ear with his deep voice.

“If I may be so bold, I love your outfit. The red really pops against your smooth skin.” At this point, your face had started to match said colour. What were they playing at? You couldn’t say you weren’t relishing in it, however, as your inner brat was trying to rear its ugly head.

You crossed your legs and pushed your chest out slightly, noticing that Chan had now turned around and was staring balefully at the others. You couldn’t help but stare at him, his annoyance rolling off him in waves. The way the black tank hugged his torso as he crossed his arms really had you pulsing. 

“Thanks, I am feeling a tad warm right now though so I might take off this jacket - could someone help me?”

 Changbin appeared out of nowhere, pulling you upright and helping you out of it. You practically purred out a thanks and pretended not to notice how Chan’s scowl had deepened dramatically. The boys raked their eyes unabashedly over your body and when you turned you heard an appreciative gasp. You felt someone’s fingers trail over your shoulder and realised what they had seen.

“Your tattoo... So fragile, so delicate, so dark.” You realised it was Hyunjin and shivered when he brushed your hair to the side, seeing that it flowed up the back of your neck. It wasn’t a big tattoo by any means but you looked over your shoulder and caught Chan staring at it, eyes wide. You felt a quiet sense of satisfaction which was masking your lingering hurt so, clinging onto it, you gave Hyunjin a cheeky smile and reached out to touch his new piercing, eyes locked on his. His hair was shorter, shimmering maroon and his shirt was showcasing his collarbones. He was beautiful.  He seemed just as entranced by you so he leaned in.

“Are you single then?”

“All right, Jesus! Stop acting like horny teenagers - she’s here because we’re helping her, what use is that when you’re harassing her? Y/n, put your damn jacket on - I can see the goosebumps from here.”

Chan started aggressively gathering his things, muttering under his breath. Hyunjin’s eyes gleamed at you and it all fell into place. They were all baiting him…and it had worked. As everyone got their bags, you moved to slip past them to the door.

“And where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

Chan was grimacing at you, arms crossed.

“You guys are getting ready to leave? Didn’t want to be in the way. Have a safe flight and well done for the great concert.” He was being an absolute prick and you realised that a written message three years from now would be sufficient. But as you started to open the door, a strong hand kept it closed, an arm effectively caging you in. You turned your head slightly and was met by his hard stare. Fuck me. You quickly looked behind you to see all the boys simultaneously turn and stare at a particularly ugly painting. 

“I like the…brush strokes.”

“Yes, the mustard yellow is quite…prominent.”

Chan lowered his voice, “You’re here because the hotel room is still available and we don’t want you going home alone. Please… just go there.” 

You grit your teeth and tried to tug at the door but his hand wrapped securely around yours and held you still. He leaned in, face unreadable, “What’s going on with you? I’m getting worried.” Your heart clenched painfully and you schooled your expression.

“Oh, don’t worry about me big bro - I’ll be fine.” He flinched and you cast your eyes down, feeling slightly guilty. You sighed, adding, “But I’ll take you up on your offer as I’m too fucking tired to find an uber in this madness.”

Everyone was quick to gather their things and when it came time to leave, you received your instructions.

“We will head out first, draw the crowd in and so forth. Once we’re on the road, you’ll follow us in a company car. You have your room key card?”

You nodded mutely and stared at the ground - so he wasn’t going to talk to you later. The disappointment and relief twirled into a glutinous mess and you felt sick. Someone approached you with a black cap and face mask, and you looked up to see Hyunjin in front of you. He gave you a gentle smile and silently asked if he could apply them. You nodded again and he slowly slid your mask into place, fingers trailing across your cheekbones. A hiss came out of nowhere and suddenly a new person had taken over. From behind you, Chan ran his fingers through your hair - you had seen him approach you but even if you hadn’t, you would recognise those fingers anywhere. The way they raked across your scalp had you seeing stars, the sensation threw you back to the bed where this had all started. You thought you might be imagining it but you could feel his heart race through his shirt and you shivered. After he had balled your hair up, under the cap, you were ready. He stepped back and avoided your gaze. You noticed Jisung clutching his chest, expression cooing and Jeongin blushing in the back. You rolled your eyes and watched the members move towards the van. Just as you started contemplating making a run for it, a harsh voice whispered in your ear.

“Don’t you dare think about it. Stop being a brat and go to the hotel.”

“Come on, Channie! The car is waiting!” Minho cackled and Chan jogged on, scowling the whole way.

Once in the car, Chan’s mind raced. He felt like absolute scum. He had hurt you. He had hurt you the night before and it was evident in the way you interacted with him. He knew he was being standoffish but he was scared to look you in the eyes because everytime he did he was reminded of the tears glistening there as you begged him to fuck you. He didn’t even know he had a crying kink until you outright sobbed, clutched onto his shirt and stared beseechingly into his eyes. God, he had never been so hard in his life. He had let himself get swept up and now he was paying the price. He had acted like a frat boy and taken advantage of you in your vulnerable state. You. You, who knew who he really was, who had grown up with him - he was supposed to protect you, you fucking trusted him. He’d let one of the most important people to him down and he couldn’t bear to face you. He’d seen the hurt etched across your features while he was onstage and, like the coward he was, he ignored it. Like the coward he was, he had slipped out of your bed and fled. Like the coward he was, he didn’t message you, no matter how much he wanted to. And like a pervert…he had gotten himself off in the shower as soon as he could. How could he not when he noticed the patch of arousal you had left on his boxers? You probably hated him and he couldn’t face it. He instinctively gripped his seat as he remembered how you looked in the changing room. His heart had stuttered seeing you up close, your hair tousled, your eyes shining as you looked at the other members. He thought about that tattoo, when had you gotten that? It might quite possibly have been the sexiest thing he had ever seen. It reminded him of how you’d grown up without him, how you had bloomed into this gorgeous creature, how you were different yet not. He wanted to trace his fingers over it or better yet, his tongue but Hyunjin had beaten him to it and Chan had to hold himself back from strangling him. He didn’t know how you felt about him, he wasn’t supposed to want you but he couldn’t help it. When did he start liking you in this way? Did you like Hyunjin? The jealousy had flooded him when you touched his piercing with a smile. You had smiled at him like that when you were in his arms. Right before you cried and begged him to fuck you. Fuck. He was an absolute fucking mess. 

He had to apologise to you, he had to make this right.

When you opened the door to your room, you froze. There, sitting in the same armchair as the night before, was Chan. He was staring hard at the carpet, saying nothing. After a while you slowly closed the door and shifted from one foot to the other, not sure what to do next - you didn’t particularly want to sit on that bed in front of him. 

“Are you just going to stand there?”

His face was impassive as he looked at you, it made your heart hammer in your chest. He was angry at you - you wanted to melt into the carpet but knew it was better this way. You wanted him to just get it over with - yell at you and then leave. You didn’t deserve anything less. So, mustering up your courage, you made your way to the bed and perched on the side of the mattress closest to him. His eyes were dark and you forced yourself to maintain eye contact - he was really angry. Your lip trembled as you realised there was no going back for the two of you. This was the end of everything.

“Y/n. I need to say something to you - fuck.”

He hissed the last word as he noticed your eyes glinting. Scrambling out of the chair, he moved to the massive windows, back to you.

“Please stop crying,” he gritted out.

Embarrassed at how pathetic you must look to him, you hastily wiped your cheeks and stood up, moving towards him. When you placed a hand on his arm (you had to apologise to his face) he jerked away as though electrocuted, muttering, “I can’t do this.” 

You turned away in defeat and made your way to the shower, thinking you would make it easier for him to leave. You found his pyjamas on the sink and choked back a sob, why was this so hard? 

After scrubbing your skin for fifteen minutes, you ventured out. You wanted to curl up into a ball and berate yourself further for jumping the man who’d always been there for you in one way or another but you came face to face with Chan again. He hadn’t left, he was sprawled in the chair again. Why won’t he just leave? I would much rather send him a fruit basket than do this. You steeled your shoulders, opened your mouth, but before you could say something he cut in.

“I’m sorry.”

What?

He repeated it and looked you dead in the eye. It confused you so much that you stood there, gaping like a fish for a good few seconds. When you were finally able to get words out, your voice sounded shrill.

“Chan… what are you apologising for? I’m the one who should be doing that.”

His brow furrowed and he tilted his head questioningly.

You stepped forward slowly, it was now or never.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for last night - I forced myself on you. I begged you to sleep with me and you gave in. I assaulted you. I’m so fucking sorry!”

Now it was his turn to gape - he felt even worse than before. 

“Is that the impression I gave you? That I didn’t want it?”

“You were hardly touching me, wouldn’t take my shirt off and you didn’t come!”

“That’s because I was forcing myself to stay calm and not lose control! You have no idea how incredible you looked under me, how fucking much I wanted to ruin you. I am so sorry. Even though I tried to restrain myself somewhat, I violated your trust in me. You were coming down from cocaine for god’s sake and I took advantage of you. I don’t even deserve to be alone with you right now.”

“No.”

You started to panic, hands shaking and breaths shallow. You couldn’t believe he was trying to do this again. To protect you and make you feel better about you assaulting him. Typical Chan. You’d had enough. Angry tears pooling in your eyes, you strode forward until you were standing right in front of him.

“You don’t get to do this. Not again! I fucking attacked you and now you’re trying to make me feel better? Chan, stop hiding your feelings - I know you’re resenting me right now and I need you to be honest. You’ve been ignoring me all evening, acting aggressive when I approach you. Saying you ‘can’t do this’ a moment ago. Stop being so nice!”

He had stood up by this point, towering over you. 

“Being nice? I’m being nice? Do you want to know what I actually meant when I said I can’t do this?” There was no trace of empathy on his face and it made you nervous. Were you wrong? He continued on, moving even closer.

“You had just started crying and it turned me on. It fucking turned me on. Apparently I’m into that. If I didn’t shake you off, I would have taken you against the window for everyone to see. I’m disgusting.”

Your breath caught in your throat. God, you wanted him. He was about to move away in shame when you caught his wrist. He studied you carefully and noticed your dilated pupils, mouth parted and cheeks flushed. You loved his confession and it twisted something in his chest. He wrapped a hand around your hair and lifted your face up, admiring the silvery sheen of tears glistening on your cheeks. He groaned and with his free hand, wiped them away with his thumb. When he slid it into his mouth and sucked at the salty residue, you felt your guilt wash away. He wasn’t joking. And you were going to lose it.

Gripping the back of your neck, he bent down to lightly brush his lips against yours but you both stopped before sealing the deal. His eyes danced.

“Tell me to stop.”

“No.” 

You mirrored his words, “Tell me to stop.”

His reply came fast and breathless.

“Never.”

The kiss was immediate, it was forceful with teeth clashing and lip biting. 

He pushed you onto the bed and, this time, ripped your shirt off. 

“As much as I love seeing you in my clothes, I just need to fucking check something.” He turned you onto your front and roughly brushed your hair out the way, stilling for a moment as he took in the sight. Your painted shoulder was glorious.

“When did you even get this?”

“Back in uni, six shots of tequila helped me gain the confidence to share my design with an artist.”

“So you’re saying, I leave you for a couple of years and you go wild? Shit, I’ll have to keep my eye on you in case you come back with a nose ring.” You felt his arousal through his shorts and smirked to yourself.

 He bent his head down and finally got to slide his tongue slowly over the clean lines, causing you to shudder and arch your back. He licked up your shoulder, to your neck where he bit down. Hard. It had you bucking in his grasp and he sternly pushed your hips down.

“Oh baby - settle down unless you don’t want to come. At all.”

Your eyes rolled back into your head and you quietened down, panting in anticipation. 

“Good girl.”

Fuck. When did he get so authoritative? He gripped your hair and bruised your mouth with his, licking into you. The pace was rough and you suddenly became aware of how gentle he had been with you when you needed him the previous night. He had gone at your pace, fluttered his fingers over you and made sure not to make you uncomfortable. You smiled into the kiss as you truly realised that he wasn’t reluctant, he was respectful - he was treasuring you. You were both idiots. He quirked a brow, feeling your smile and pulled away. 

“What’s on your mind, baby girl?”

“Channie, you could never hurt me - not even if you tried.”

He understood your meaning, giggling shyly (how?), but decided to take your words literally. 

“You sure about that?”

He bit the shell of your ear sharply and your eyes darkened in response. Now was not the time for sentimentalities. Ripping his shirt off, he flipped you over and nestled between your legs - his eyes trailed down and his lips quirked.

“You didn’t learn the last time?”

“I have a thing against wearing dirty undies after a shower.”

“Who are you?” His face tightened in thought and you needed to bring him back.

You cupped his face, “Chan, I need you to understand that I’m not the girl from your memories anymore. I’ve grown up - which you can clearly see - so please, don’t be gentle and don’t regret this. I want you and I realise I’ve kind of always wanted you - you were just either too thick to see it or you didn’t want to. I’ve grown up, I’ve dated and I still want you. Tell me you want this and then stop worrying about hurting me, if you’ll have me - I’m all yours. At least for tonight.” You swallowed thickly with nerves and waited for his response - would he finally see a beautiful, worldly woman (like the ones he must hang out with) or would he not be able to get past his impression of you, his little sister’s friend. You hoped it was the first. He took a few moments and you thought you might just cry which you did not want to happen as it would, apparently, just persuade him to fuck you.  

He sucked in his bottom lip with a sigh and stared up at you from below his lashes. His warm brown eyes narrowed in something akin to concern. He opened his mouth and then thought better of it, leaning down to place a warm kiss against your forehead. You shuddered and waited, heart sinking.

“Y/n. I can’t promise that I’ll be able to separate you from the girl I knew when I was little. In fact, I don’t want to.” Your shoulders tensed and you waited for the inevitable rejection. What an unfortunate position to be doing this in. 

“When I saw you on that couch yesterday, scared and so alone, an image of you crying in the rain hit me. I don’t know if you remember but you were sixteen - your parents had had a fight and gone to bed, forgetting to unlock the front door for you. I pulled you to your feet and cuddled you on Lily’s bed while we waited for her to get home. Anyways, you looked exactly the same, lost and feeling abandoned. I wanted to gather you in my arms again, I needed to protect you again. You mean so much to me and I wouldn’t want you to be anyone else. Just be Y/n, the annoying neighbour who I had a massive crush on before I left. Why do you think I kept in touch all these years? I needed some semblance of normalcy, I needed the comfort of home. I needed you. And I still do. So, stay with me as you. Yourself. Be mine.”

You let out a relieved laugh and he cradled your face again, whispering,“But you gotta stop doing this, darling, as you’ll send me to an early grave and you wouldn’t want to disappoint my fans now, would you?” 

He was kissing a stray tear away and you decided you would indeed try your best to shed a few everyday if it meant getting this treatment. 

Suddenly, you felt his breathing grow ragged as he looked you over.

“Now call me Channie again and let me have you.”

You bit back a whimper as he lowered his mouth to your neck and then, realising you were stark naked under him, you tugged at his waistband. He broke away for a second to rip both layers off and then captured your lips with his. It was a slow, deep kiss this time - as though you were savouring this pivotal moment together. His hands softly entwined in your hair again and yours slid leisurely over his back, running your nails over the tight planes of flesh. He hissed and you felt woozy, arousal dripping from your core. He slid his cock through your folds gently and held eye contact - it was almost too intense for you so you turned your face away, only for him to grip your chin and bring you back.

“Look at me. Please.”

You blinked and nodded dumbly, watching as he slid his fingers down to your begging hole. You were sopping, ready, and he knew this but a cheeky smile flashed across his features and you narrowed your eyes at him as he slowly made his way down your body. He trailed his tongue across your collarbones, flicked your nipples, grazed his teeth along your ribs and when he reached your pelvis he bit down on your hip. All while maintaining eye contact. You yelped and jerked your hips up from the bed but he easily draped a muscular arm across your torso, glaring at you.

“What did I say about moving?”

“Sorry…” you murmured, head in the clouds. You felt him chuckle, breath ghosting over your pussy. He hummed quietly and kissed your folds. It felt so good that you knew you’d be begging for more later. When his tongue swept over your slit you keened loudly, forcing yourself to stay still. He sucked your bud in between his plush lips and you felt your waterline pleading to release. No, this is too soon! You tried to keep your impending orgasm at bay but it was as though he knew all the right spots on you so as soon as his tongue slid inside you and lapped at your walls you lost it, thighs locking around his head and mouth open in a silent scream.

You felt him nip at your thigh and position himself over you, waiting for you to return to him. You lazily smiled at him, combing a hand through his messy locks and he kissed you all over your face, making you push at him.

“Tell me to stop before I make you scream.”

You widened your eyes as his confidence swept back at full force and choked out, “No.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

He gripped your hip with one hand and sheathed himself in you, apparently deciding he couldn’t hold back anymore. And scream, you did. 

“Fuck, Channie!”

He said nothing, starting off at a punishing pace and you felt the breath leave your lungs. You held onto his biceps, honestly trying not to pass out. You realised he adored edging you because the heat in your belly would build up at the abuse you endured by his thick cock slamming into your walls but, at the last minute, he would feel you clenching and change the pace. It was frustrating the hell out of you and you wouldn’t have it any other way. He had monumentally slowed down his pace when he started talking. 

“How are you still so tight, baby girl? I’m so deep inside you and your wet cunt is still trying to suck me in. Fuck. Is this good for you? Do you like it when I take you like this?”

You let out an embarrassing noise, too fucked out to speak. At this, he slowed down even more.

“What was that? Speak to me - what do you want?” His face hovered over yours, smirking devilishly at you. God, you hated this man. You tried your best to glare at him and pulled your lips firmly shut, two could play at this game. He stopped completely and gripped your face hard, pushing his thumb into your mouth - you felt your eyes roll back as you instinctively clenched around him.

“Stop being a fucking brat, Y/n, and tell me what you want. Beg for it or I’ll make you cry.” He clearly was not going to move and your pussy ached so much as you had been going for quite a while. You realised that if you were going to sleep with him again, you would need to learn to hold your own but it wouldn’t be tonight. He heard a sound around his thumb and pulled it out.

“Hmm? What was that, sweetheart?”

“Cum. I need to cum. Now.” Your voice broke around the last word and he sucked in a breath, eyes darkened to black. He rose up on his knees and folded your legs up against his chest. You had thought it would be impossible but he was even deeper than before.

“If I see even one more tear, I’m going to stop.”

He started up his brutal pace, watching your face contort in the most delightful way. Your eyes took him in as much as you could - the furrow between his brow, his mouth hanging open, sweat trickling down his neck and shoulders. The way his arms bunched around your legs and the way he was breathing was coaxing you to the edge - when he started to feel you contract he licked his thumb and swiftly brought it down onto your clit. It sent you hurtling to your destruction, taking him with you.

Later, whilst facing each other on the bed, arms and legs tangled, you searched his eyes. The sparkle was there, no hint of regret in sight. You felt a surge of relief until you heard his next words.

“The sun’s not out yet and we are far from finished.”

Fuck.

Your body was sore. Really sore. It felt as though he had split you in two, you shuddered at all the positions you had tried (successfully). But you had been over-ambitious and now you were paying the price. Opening a weary eye, you looked around. It was morning, the sun was gently washing in from behind the light curtains…and there was nothing blocking it. Chan wasn’t there, Chan was gone. You struggled to sit up but managed to slouch against the headboard. Was something wrong? Had you fucked up again? You got nervous - when he said “be mine” did he mean “just for tonight?”. You racked your brain, trying to remember what time his flight was but the sound of your discarded phone ringing had you scrambling to reach for it. When you looked at the caller ID, the air returned to you. 

“Channie?”

A warm chuckle met you and you sighed in happiness - until you realised he had destroyed you physically and ran. Was he already at the airport?

“Where are you?”

“I’m at a cafe, getting us some breakfast. In fact, I’m currently fighting over a Pain au Chocolat since I remember you liking those.”

“ …oh.” 

“Baby, did you think I’d left you again?” You imagined him softly smiling into the phone and you mirrored his action as you heard his next words.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ve got you.” 

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