I Don’t Know What I’m Doing

Oat milk was discovered much more recently than you may have known. Like many now-familiar technologies, it was found by accident during the Apollo program when NASA learned what a zero-g environment does to goat milk.

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

they should let me listen to music while looking out the window of a train for my entire life

I don't understand how cis people obsessed with gender norms think trans people are the weird ones. they're going around believing that your name has to correlate to your genitals. your fashion has to correlate to your genitals. your behaviours have to correlate to your genitals. your hobbies have to correlate to your genitals. who you date has to correlate to your genitals. whether you can put sparkles on your eyelids or not has to correlate to your genitals. and then people like me go "hmm. I might not do that. maybe I'll just do what feels fun and okay instead" and they LOSE their MINDS

something they never told me about adulthood: mimic keys will attach themselves to your keychain in the hopes you use them and they can have sex with your keyholes

i got spanish anon hate for this one btw

what should I listen to

women

Lois buys Clark a "Not to say I'm Superman but Superman and I have never been seen together in the same room" shirt because it's the funniest thing she's ever seen and Clark wears it because it's also the funniest thing he's ever seen. They are made for each other.

Bruce Wayne once got called to jury duty and said he shouldn't be on the jury because he was Batman and had caught the guy going to trial. He couldn't lie about who he was, he was under oath! Bruce would think this was hilarious.