Dungeons & Dragons Shenanigans

Man, I’ve been gone dealing with my life for the last two years and y’all are still here and growing? OMG <3

Our Party: Gold Dragonborn Barbarian (Me) A Tobaxi Rogue, Forest Gnome Monk, Tiefling Wizard and a Human Sorcerer.

We were playing the starter campaign and we got tasked by this druid to take care of a Young Green dragon in exchange for giving us intel about Wave Echo cave and Kragmaw Castle. Keep in mind that we're all level 4. We explored the town more and then I thought to myself, 'What would a hulking, challenge seeking dragon borne raised by dwarves do?' After defeating some Twig Blights at the local farm and finding a pile of rusty horseshoes and an iron chest, I hatched my plan. I gathered the iron chest and filled it with horseshoes.

I explained the plan to the party and they were in. We arrive at the tower and the Sorcerer casts spider climb on the barbarian (Me) and the wizard casted enlarge when I got to the top. The green dragon was curled up sleeping 30ft bellow the top of the castle and 30ft above the entrance. I jump down in full rage yelling "I AM A GOLDEN GOD!!!!!!" I slammed the now 400lb chest of horseshoes onto the dragon's head breaking the wooden floor and landing on the ground.

I fall to the ground with only 7hp left. Initiative is rolled and thank the dice lords it rolled shit on initiative. Everyone. Goes. Fucking. Nuts. Spell casters bombarded it with magic missile (Sorcerer rolls a critical) The rogue jumps up onto the dragon's back and stabs with her rapier. The Monk starts throwing Javelins. I pick myself up and take a Greater healing potion then climb up with the rogue just before the dragon picks itself up off the ground Needless to say, it was pissed. It nearly kills the monk with a multi attack and downs our wizard with a breath attack the following turn.

The little LG monk gives the wizard his last potion of healing while only having 3hp left. The Tobaxi and I are tearing into the back of this dragon while the spell casters hit it from afar with magic missile and ray of frost. It's the monk's turn. He throws a dart and does 4 damage. DM: "It's.....dead."

Context: We've stumbled onto some cult activity, and our Rogue is politely attending the sermon to buy us some time. He's reporting back on earrings that are basically earpieces. He's giving a play by play of the sermon to the Paladin.

Sorcerer: So what's our plan to get Rogue out?

Paladin: I don't know, lemme listen to this

Rogue: *sudden silence*

Paladin: Hello? What's going on?

DMing Dragon Heist at a players house. Player has a cat named Ed that really likes to lay on maps. New house rule: Whenever Ed jumps on the table players roll initiative to fight a pit fiend.

What follows is the hilarity of a Pit Fiend makes Ed that is constantly hunting the characters, dropping through the ceiling in Taverns and busting down walls like the Kool-Aid man.

Warlock OOC: Okay so we all know { Druid } is suffering… Druid: [overly dramatic dying noises ] Warlock OOC: Hey, { me } if I roll a 20, you have to buy us all drinks. Me, making up a mourning speech: Alright, hit me.

Player 1: Is that a spaceship?