ice princess

with just another week or so of promotions left for their most recent comeback, things had slowed down quite a bit for yuri, which she was thankful for. the constant schedules and performances had become draining for her after the first week and a half - something that wasn’t new or surprising. it seemed as though the longer that yuri had been an idol, the shorter her tolerance became from promotional cycles. the pizazz and overall appeal of it all had died down by the time lily’s fifth year anniversary had come around. not that it really mattered if she could tolerate it or not. as long as she was contractually obligated and was physically capable of withstanding schedules, she didn’t have a choice but to tolerate it. 

just like she had to tolerate being in bc’s headquarters. promotional cycles meant more time spent there, which she had both a love and hate relationship with. she enjoyed lingering around at bc for a while after the end of schedules, it giving her time to relax and unwind - she didn’t want to take her bad energy into her home. it also gave her an excuse to avoid a particular ‘fan’ of hers that didn’t know what the word ‘boundaries’ meant. she found that sticking around for a few hours threw them off her trail and gave her an opening to go home. 

which was how she found herself held up in one of the dance practice rooms on the farthest side of the building, nursing a bowl of ramen and a bottle of her favorite soda - she knew she shouldn’t have been indulging in that, but she figured she deserved it after her hard work. her head snapped up when the doors to the practice room opened, and she raised an eyebrow as she processed who it was. 

even though yuri couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times she had stood on stage to perform, it would be a bold faced lie for her to say that she didn’t get a fresh bout of nerves and anxiety every time she waited for the lights to come up and the music to start. 

she knew that it was a little ridiculous. as someone who had been performing for over a decade by that point, she shouldn’t feel anything but confident and reassured in her skills as a performer. even if she wasn’t the best performer in her group, she knew how to do her part in order to make lily look good as a unit. 

as the lights lit up the stage and the shouts and screams from the live audience hit her ears, it was like a flip switched within her. autopilot took over as the opening chords of their new song filled the stage. the choreography had been damn near ingrained into her memory at that point, so it wasn’t hard for her in the slightest to fall into line with the rest of her members. dancing had never been her strong suit, but over time she had developed her skills enough to not stick out like a sore thumb compared to the girls apart of lily’s dance line.

somewhere along the line, throughout their performance of ‘you think’, yuri found herself enjoying herself here and there. it was hard not to - the song wasn’t bad. in fact, it was one of their better releases in her opinion. it was fun and more mature, which she naturally fell into a little bit more than a lot of their previous releases. the cheering and fanchants from the live audience and the adrenaline of having people excited just to see them only added to her enjoyment. 

it was moments like those that she remembered the aspects of what she liked about being an idol. the major one was being on stage. when she forgot about the strenuous schedules, the lack of privacy and lack of proper rest, and just focused on the sole act of performing, she could find enjoyment in it. 

she didn’t even realize that she was smiling until she was standing in the choreography’s ending pose, two fingers pointing at her temple as she looked over her shoulder. the screams from the crowd had only gotten louder, and she couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped her at the excited looks on their faces. 

if she could feel that all the time, she would have no issues with the idol life. if it was all fancy clothes and high energy performances, she could actually see herself enjoying her career. however that wasn’t the end of it. no matter how great she felt standing on stage, there would always be that nagging at the back of her mind. that nagging that would forever remind her of just how trapped she was. that the pros of that world didn’t outweigh the cons. 

the lights dimmed down on the stage. yuri and the rest of the members quickly made their way off stage to make room for the next performances. as soon as she entered their green room, yuri felt the surge of energy she had during their performance ooze out of her just as quickly as it had coursed through her veins.

open! : famedcrowned3, august 27, on-camera

ingredients are spread out on the kitchen island as mirae considers them for a moment. practicing right now might be more conducive to giving as close to a flawless final performance as selene can get, but it’s outside of selene’s allotted practice hours, so .she turns her focus to endearing the audience through milking potential screentime instead. her parade through the gold star halls, the bearer of gifts in the form of food, hadn’t done what she’d hoped it would, but she comes back to food again, hoping beyond hope that it will have more effect this time.

“do you like cake or cupcakes?” she breaks her moment of silence to ask her baking partner. there’s only so much intrigue a lone baker has, but two working together by mirae’s invitation in the house of gold’s kitchen will be more worth the time. “cupcakes would be easier to hand out to everyone, but there’s something satisfying about decorating one big cake.”

lily’s leader hadn’t been on the prowl for screen time as much as the group’s management team would have preferred. the fact that she hadn’t done much of anything worthy of her getting more than a moment or two of screen time had landed her in a bit of hot water, with her manager asking, or more accurately telling, her to be a little bit more proactive with her time on crowned. which was why she had accepted mirae’s offer of coming over to the house of gold. she wasn’t a great baker by any means, but if it would get her team off of her back, then she would do it. 

crowned interview #3

crowned interview #2

crowned interview #1

— @yurifmd / day of live recording, on camera.

on d-day, yerin jolts awake from her catnap with a shuddering gasp. immediately, she takes it as a sign of haywire nerves and inadequate sleep. that instinct proves right when it’s time to go live and yerin’s hands won’t stop shaking, fingers clenched tight around the handful of custom picket signs her fans had given her as she walked into the building. she glances at one that reads: i’m in a good mood, really and can’t even laugh. it seemed her fans knew her too well, already anticipating potential for evil-editing and post-production drama. sighing, her wandering eyes make contact with someone else. yerin freezes on reflex, schooling her face into something blandly neutral with the barest hint of demurred respect. swiveling in her seat, she bows gracefully at yuri and makes sure a picket sign (wow, i love this!) was in full view of the camera she spots pointed at them. 

“yuri sunbaenim, hello.” 

there’s a beat of awkward tension as yerin struggles to fill it with something to say. it’s been years since she’s learned of the fandom-wide comparisons juxtaposing the two of them; similarities drawn to the minute detail (from positions to specialty to image and even their visuals), making it hard for her to ignore the commentary of her being an inadequate carbon copy of yuri. it stings at her pride to have her entire existence trampled upon in favor of someone else — especially when said person was yuri; her labelmate, senior, and by fan standards, completely out of her league and levels above her.

the screams and shouts from excited fans as she got out of the black SUV that picked her up from bc entertainment’s headquarters to bring her to the crowned recording that day should have been enough to give her the motivation she needed to get through the day. it should have been enough to wipe away her bad mood. it should have been enough to make her excited. but it wasn’t. it was only another reminder of how she had fallen into the trap of the idol world. how she had made the biggest mistake of her life all those years ago by accepting bc’s offer to become a trainee. it had become second nature to plaster on a fake smile as she moved past fans, offering a wave and a head bow here and there - but as of late, she couldn’t even find herself willing to bother with the smile. but once the cameras were on her, the acting skills kicked in and the usual fake smile, as always, became a semi permanent part of her expression. 

the sight of a familiar pair of eyes made yuri’s smile falter a bit. 

it wasn’t that she had any issue with yerin. for all she knew, the girl could be sweet and great to be around, but that was just the thing - she didn’t know. yuri didn’t know yerin. at least not any deeper than surface level. it didn’t help that they were pretty much written off as enemies-slash-rivals by their fanbases from the beginning of yerin’s career. both the leaders and main vocalists of their respective groups, as well as both being actresses; fans had even gone so far as to compare them visually, which.. yuri could see why. they were both beautiful and shared similar strong suits and "personalities”. but despite the fact that yuri didn’t care about being an idol, she still hated being compared to anyone. which only made the tension worse between them. 

𝙶𝚁𝙴𝙴𝙽   𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙼   ,   𝙾𝙵𝙵   -   𝙲𝙰𝙼𝙴𝚁𝙰   ,   𝙳𝙰𝚈   𝙾𝙵   𝚁𝙴𝙲𝙾𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶. 

                 ————   𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷   @yurifmd​.

𝙸𝚃   𝙷𝙰𝙳   𝙱𝙴𝙴𝙽   𝙰   𝚁𝙰𝚁𝙴   𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃   𝙾𝙵   𝚂𝙻𝙰𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶   𝙾𝙵𝙵   𝚂𝙷𝙴   𝙵𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳   𝙷𝙸𝙼   𝙸𝙽.   but   he   could   be   afforded   that   ;   all   that   was   required   of   daewon   and   his   group   today   (   and   polaris   ,   he   thought   with   the   requisite   amount   of   annoyance   )   was   some   good   shots   of   them   gawping   and   gawking.   and   he   had   a   cup   of   green   iced   tea   in   hand.   just   as   much   as   it   was   jetsetting   and   energy   ,   the   job   was   a   lot   of   hurrying   up   and   waiting.   as   the   crew   bustled   about   to   put   together   the   set   for   the   next   stage   ,   daewon   had   taken   the   time   to   whip   out   his   phone   and   scroll   through   social   media.   he   did   it   less   these   days—had   found   it   difficult   to   open   his   phone   when   he   would   get   bombarded   with notifcations   from   random   numbers   calling   and   texting   him   nonstop—but   he   was   bored.   still   cross   -   legged   where   titan   was   meant   to   sit   and   observe   the   stages   from   the   monitor   ,   daewon   chose   to   stay   while   the   other   members   of   his   group   wandered   off.

he   only   looked   up   when   he   noticed   footsteps   approaching   ,   a   smile   blossoming   across   his   face   as   he   recognized   the   person   before   him.   ❝   what’s   cookin’   ,   good   lookin’   ?   ❞   he   punctuated   the   question   with   a   wink   and   the   light   nudge   of   an   elbow   to   indicate   he   was   the   furthest   thing   from   serious.   daewon   had   always   felt   a   kinship   with   yuri.   a   sameness   ,   as   though   they   were   opposite   halves   of   the   same   coin.   he   patted   the   open   seat   beside   him   in   invitation.   ❝   yeesh   ,   those   heels   don’t   look   fun.   sit   ,   sit.   ❞

yuri wasn’t sure what more she could do or say to convey that she didn’t want to be there. that she considered crowned to be a waste of lily’s time - a waste of her time. escaping from her group’s green room during a particular lull in activity was her next best bet. while coming across daewon in his downtime might have seemed as if she had been seeking him out, it was only a product of her trying to avoid lily’s team that led to her finding him - which she didn’t necessarily look at as a bad thing. daewon was one of the people that she had no problems or qualms with; in fact, she could say that she enjoyed his company a lot more than she enjoyed the company of quite a few other people. that being said, the two of them hadn’t built up a bond as strong as, say that of the bond she shared with duri and haesol, but they had a bond nonetheless. one that she had come to enjoy. 

even though yuri was used to performing and being on stage, that didn’t mean that she particularly wanted to be on stage or wanted to perform. when she had been told about crowned and lily’s participation on the show, she had been dreading having to deal with that even though she would be doing it with her members - who typically tended to make idol related schedules bearable for her. with as much time as yuri was being forced to spend on the set of crowned, she had not seen as much of her friends as she thought she would have. of course she knew that they were all busy with their own groups, rehearsing and preparing for the live stages and performances, but she thought that she would have run into someone for sure by that point. 

@yurifmd, first unit stage rehearsal, on camera.

excitement had seemingly filled duri, truth be told. he was really excited about the fact that he got to do a unit stage, not to mention getting to do said unit stage with one of his best friends. it was also another song that duri really likes, carter 2 u by destiny’s child, so it probably wasn’t surprising that that had managed to be the song for the unit stage. he was simply just really excited to do another performance. he was always just incredibly happy getting to be on stage in any way that he possibly could be. he truly just really looked forward to it. 

he had arrived to where the rehearsal would be occurring. there wasn’t much that he actually had to do, since it was only a vocal stage - so, he didn’t need to really stretch or anything. he was just sure to do his vocal warm-ups, just to make sure that he was all ready. of course, the cameras were capturing it, just to have footage. though, his attention is taken away when he hears the door open. 

“noona!” he called out, giggling happily. “thank you for doing the unit stage with me! i’m really looking forward to it!” he said, his smile growing bigger. luckily, duri got his schedules done, so he was able to really make the time to practice. “since i’m the unit leader, i promise i’ll take care of you well!” he said, giggling softly. “are you ready to get started?” 

as much as she didn’t want to be there, yuri had decided that she would at least try to put forth a good game face while being forced to participate in the competition. that particularly week she was given the opportunity to perform with one of her best friends, which made her a little bit less sour towards the idea of participating. but, if she were being honest, she didn’t see the point in lily being involved in crowned - they had already been in the industry for a decade and they were the so called “queens of k-pop” - surely the queens didn’t have to perform for a crown, right? 

wrong. yuri still found herself, and in turn, lily, being subjected to being at the mercy of netizens and the general public’s vote. competing with other groups for a figurative crown. she just wanted to get through the whole experience and leave it behind her, but it seemed to drag on for forever. at least if she had to deal with crowned, she got to suffer through it with people that she could actually tolerate and enjoyed being around. and she had never gotten the chance to perform with duri before - at least not publicly, so that was something a little exciting that she could look forward to.