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you looked over at him for the thousandth time. none of your actions were intentional for him to notice you, but you knew that him not acknowledging you for the past hour was making you upset.

he laid above the two sets of blankets, with his left arm nested beneath the back of the head and his right hand gripping onto the phone. his eyes were locked onto the blasting bright video that didn't fit the environment of the warm, cozy, and slightly annoying room.

his hood was on, looking so relaxed as ever, as you caught the slight purse of his lips he had due to his focusing. his hair was slightly messy from underneath the hood, as the collar of the hoodie was rested comfortably onto his chin. and unfortunately, you thought he looked so cute.

you rolled your eyes, turning your head to look at the blank beige wall, forming a pout of your own onto your lips.

you brought your foot up to the wall for the sake of your entertainment and your boredom, sliding it side to side onto the cold wall, creating loud, harsh sounds throughout the room.

and keonho still didn't budge. at this point, every deep sigh, every loud shuffling of the sheets you had made, every big movement you made with sitting up and dramatically falling back down, the occasional glances at him, and the whole foot on the wall — it all felt intentional and he still hadn't brought a single, simple glance towards you.

you wanted to speak, you wanted to complain, you wanted to let out a remark of your failure within the relationship and that he's ignoring you for a reason — just to simply get his attention. but you didn't, nor did you want to. you wanted his attention through his spite and not by your own.

your foot fell harshly onto the bed, creating a loud ruffled sound against the blanket, causing your foot to slightly bounce from the impact. you rushed to shuffle onto your side, laying your head on both palms of your hands, now staring at his side profile.

he remained relaxed, and unsurprisingly in the same position as when you last looked at him. was he in a whole new world that he can't even smile or peek at his annoyed girlfriend ? what was so special about the youtube video he was watching.

your gaze stilled on him, clearly with beg and fury. your pout was still heavy on your lips. you tried to get your mind to connect to his so he could feel your stare onto him, just to make simple eye contact. you needed something; his touch on you, his eyes on you, the gentle smile he always makes towards you — his whole attention is what you begged for.

but nothing worked.

you closed your eyes, shoving your face deep into your palms as you groaned — and this groan had intention behind it. you stayed deep into your hands, eyes ready to hear a shuffle from him. but nothing was heard beside the annoying audio. you peeked from your hands, eyeing keonho, and still had not budged.

you took matters into your own hands. you were tired of relaxing with nothing held against you, nothing fullfilling your needs. your phone was charging in the kitchen, leaving you to lay with nothing. it was like this whole time keonho was bragging that his phone was charged and actually had something to do. and to make things worse, your own boyfriend didn't even bother with you for the past hour.

you scooted closer to him until your side met the side of his body. you rested your cheek on his shoulder, draping your arm across his chest, as well as draping your leg over his waist. you held on so tightly, that it made you feel butterflies that you felt like you hadn't had in awhile.

you let out a breath, a breath that screamed success simply because you had him.

you watched his screen, not really caring with the video. your pout was still on your lips, but the heaviness of it died down. your breathing became ragged and your heart started rapidly beating. you were so sure that he could feel it on his side.

you nested your cheek deeper into his neck line, the top of your head almost butting his cheek. within that movement, he brought his arm from underneath his head and wrapped it around your back, his hand resting on your shoulder blade.

you let out a smile, it was finally working for you and you loved every second of it.

but that simple touch wasn't enough. where was the head and forehead kisses he gave you every cuddle session. why wasn't his hand reaching towards your chin to bring your face up and plant a teasing kiss on the side of your mouth and then finally a real one on your lips.

it made you slightly angry that he wasn't being his usually clingy self and you knew it had to be a tease. this wasn't the keonho you knew. you always had him hooked around your finger, his attention was always on you.

your eyebrows furrowed from the thought. you looked away from the screen and onto the furniture that was set on the other side of the room. though your touch remained tight and lovingly on his body, he sure can't tell what you're feeling right now since your touch didn't reason with your expression.

you looked up at him, your faces so close to each other it made you even eager.

you did something you didn't want to do, something you fought against earlier but it came out so unexpectedly.

"keonho." you whined out quietly. the furrow of your eyebrows came neutral, but your eyes dreamed with hope, and the same pout that screamed begging came back.

he hummed, still not glancing down at you.

you wanted to let out a smile as he finally acknowledged your presence — but at what cost. you hummed back sadly, resting your cheek back down deep into his neck.

you closed your eyes, trying to atleast fall asleep to by pass the internal pain your indulging — the hurt he had caused you. now you understand him and his feelings whenever you pushed him away at times when he just wanted to simply be attached to his girlfriend. it was most likely pay back.

but the clinginess in your body didn't let you rest. the eager that sat in your body wanted you to go all out and try to get back at him. this was not you, you tried to relax your mind to hold yourself back. but clearly your actions won over.

your eyes opened, meeting with the layer of clothing in front of you that covered your first spot. you slightly brought your head up, bringing your fingers to the side of the hood, pushing it back a little to expose the skin of the crook of his neck.

you pushed yourself deeper towards it. your lips rested right above the skin, clearly teasing as you smiled at your actions.

you placed light kisses on it ; just an easy one, two, three times, then resting your cheek back onto his shoulder, your arm casually going back to clinging around his chest.

you felt the way his head leaned slightly back at your touch. he let out a deep breath, clearly affected by the gesture, but his composure remained calm.

you rolled your eyes, as you brought your stare back on the video as your expression turned into pure grump once again.

but you didn't bother to wait any longer or let this go on for much longer than you anticipated.

your head was brought back up from his shoulder, as your eyes locked onto his. he could clearly see you from his peripheral vision, but it's like he wanted to see your next move.

you brought your hand to his chin, stabilizing it as you leaned down quickly pecking the corner of his lips — an action he always does, that you now caught on yourself.

you didn't bother to bring your gaze back up to his face, so you planted a kiss fully on his lips now — multiple in fact. the first one your lips stilled on his own for a bit, then letting go to place small easy ones. you then brought it to his cheek, pecking a bunch around that one area.

and that finally won him over.

he let out a smile, alongside with a string of giggles. he turned his head away from you, but it only brought you closer, still kissing his cheek.

he closed his eyes, his head shifting back to normal but instead he turned over to you, his lips catching your own this time.

he placed his phone down on his waist, shutting it off, as he brought his hand up to your cheek to hold your lips against his. you hummed against his lips at the harsh pressure, forcefully pulling away with a huge smile written on your face now.

the butterflies in your stomach grew louder and made your breath hitch every few seconds. the action, his smile, his touch, his kiss was all you asked for and you finally got it. you had him right where you wanted him to be.

"you're so clingy now." he lowly remarked, his hand still placed onto your cheek as he scanned your face, his eyes dropping to your lips once a while.

"you weren't acknowledging me." you let out a breathy laugh, sadness laced in your voice, as your eyes dropped back down to his lips as well.

he hummed, dragging his thumb across your cheek, this time fully locking his gaze onto your mouth, "now i am."

you guys remained like that for a little bit, indulging in each others beauty. hearts stammered with nerves and affection, as your touch lingered with heat and warmth.

you couldn't help but chuckle nervously at his intense gaze, almost wanting to look away and hide yourself in a hurdle, but it's almost like he caught on and he didn't want you going anywhere.

he brought your face closer to a proper, real kiss. the hand that rested casually on his other shoulder blade snuck up to the back of his neck, getting comfortable with the kiss.

"look who's the clingy one now." he murmured against your lips, pure tease in his tone. "shut up." you replied back in a whisper, as a smile formed on your lips while still meeting with his.

you two where right where you wanted to be. at peace, in love, no distractions, and lost in the moment. good to know that there's no losing each other after that.

ness ˎˊ˗ i'm cheating on juhoon right now so here's this :)

© yuesning — all rights reserved. DO NOT translate, copy, or transfer my works to other sites. this is my only writing blog.

you looked over at him for the thousandth time. none of your actions were intentional for him to notice you, but you knew that him not acknowledging you for the past hour was making you upset.

he laid above the two sets of blankets, with his left arm nested beneath the back of the head and his right hand gripping onto the phone. his eyes were locked onto the blasting bright video that didn't fit the environment of the warm, cozy, and slightly annoying room.

his hood was on, looking so relaxed as ever, as you caught the slight purse of his lips he had due to his focusing. his hair was slightly messy from underneath the hood, as the collar of the hoodie was rested comfortably onto his chin. and unfortunately, you thought he looked so cute.

you rolled your eyes, turning your head to look at the blank beige wall, forming a pout of your own onto your lips.

you brought your foot up to the wall for the sake of your entertainment and your boredom, sliding it side to side onto the cold wall, creating loud, harsh sounds throughout the room.

and keonho still didn't budge. at this point, every deep sigh, every loud shuffling of the sheets you had made, every big movement you made with sitting up and dramatically falling back down, the occasional glances at him, and the whole foot on the wall — it all felt intentional and he still hadn't brought a single, simple glance towards you.

you wanted to speak, you wanted to complain, you wanted to let out a remark of your failure within the relationship and that he's ignoring you for a reason — just to simply get his attention. but you didn't, nor did you want to. you wanted his attention through his spite and not by your own.

your foot fell harshly onto the bed, creating a loud ruffled sound against the blanket, causing your foot to slightly bounce from the impact. you rushed to shuffle onto your side, laying your head on both palms of your hands, now staring at his side profile.

he remained relaxed, and unsurprisingly in the same position as when you last looked at him. was he in a whole new world that he can't even smile or peek at his annoyed girlfriend ? what was so special about the youtube video he was watching.

your gaze stilled on him, clearly with beg and fury. your pout was still heavy on your lips. you tried to get your mind to connect to his so he could feel your stare onto him, just to make simple eye contact. you needed something; his touch on you, his eyes on you, the gentle smile he always makes towards you — his whole attention is what you begged for.

but nothing worked.

you closed your eyes, shoving your face deep into your palms as you groaned — and this groan had intention behind it. you stayed deep into your hands, eyes ready to hear a shuffle from him. but nothing was heard beside the annoying audio. you peeked from your hands, eyeing keonho, and still had not budged.

you took matters into your own hands. you were tired of relaxing with nothing held against you, nothing fullfilling your needs. your phone was charging in the kitchen, leaving you to lay with nothing. it was like this whole time keonho was bragging that his phone was charged and actually had something to do. and to make things worse, your own boyfriend didn't even bother with you for the past hour.

you scooted closer to him until your side met the side of his body. you rested your cheek on his shoulder, draping your arm across his chest, as well as draping your leg over his waist. you held on so tightly, that it made you feel butterflies that you felt like you hadn't had in awhile.

you let out a breath, a breath that screamed success simply because you had him.

you watched his screen, not really caring with the video. your pout was still on your lips, but the heaviness of it died down. your breathing became ragged and your heart started rapidly beating. you were so sure that he could feel it on his side.

you nested your cheek deeper into his neck line, the top of your head almost butting his cheek. within that movement, he brought his arm from underneath his head and wrapped it around your back, his hand resting on your shoulder blade.

you let out a smile, it was finally working for you and you loved every second of it.

but that simple touch wasn't enough. where was the head and forehead kisses he gave you every cuddle session. why wasn't his hand reaching towards your chin to bring your face up and plant a teasing kiss on the side of your mouth and then finally a real one on your lips.

it made you slightly angry that he wasn't being his usually clingy self and you knew it had to be a tease. this wasn't the keonho you knew. you always had him hooked around your finger, his attention was always on you.

your eyebrows furrowed from the thought. you looked away from the screen and onto the furniture that was set on the other side of the room. though your touch remained tight and lovingly on his body, he sure can't tell what you're feeling right now since your touch didn't reason with your expression.

you looked up at him, your faces so close to each other it made you even eager.

you did something you didn't want to do, something you fought against earlier but it came out so unexpectedly.

"keonho." you whined out quietly. the furrow of your eyebrows came neutral, but your eyes dreamed with hope, and the same pout that screamed begging came back.

he hummed, still not glancing down at you.

you wanted to let out a smile as he finally acknowledged your presence — but at what cost. you hummed back sadly, resting your cheek back down deep into his neck.

you closed your eyes, trying to atleast fall asleep to by pass the internal pain your indulging — the hurt he had caused you. now you understand him and his feelings whenever you pushed him away at times when he just wanted to simply be attached to his girlfriend. it was most likely pay back.

but the clinginess in your body didn't let you rest. the eager that sat in your body wanted you to go all out and try to get back at him. this was not you, you tried to relax your mind to hold yourself back. but clearly your actions won over.

your eyes opened, meeting with the layer of clothing in front of you that covered your first spot. you slightly brought your head up, bringing your fingers to the side of the hood, pushing it back a little to expose the skin of the crook of his neck.

you pushed yourself deeper towards it. your lips rested right above the skin, clearly teasing as you smiled at your actions.

you placed light kisses on it ; just an easy one, two, three times, then resting your cheek back onto his shoulder, your arm casually going back to clinging around his chest.

you felt the way his head leaned slightly back at your touch. he let out a deep breath, clearly affected by the gesture, but his composure remained calm.

you rolled your eyes, as you brought your stare back on the video as your expression turned into pure grump once again.

but you didn't bother to wait any longer or let this go on for much longer than you anticipated.

your head was brought back up from his shoulder, as your eyes locked onto his. he could clearly see you from his peripheral vision, but it's like he wanted to see your next move.

you brought your hand to his chin, stabilizing it as you leaned down quickly pecking the corner of his lips — an action he always does, that you now caught on yourself.

you didn't bother to bring your gaze back up to his face, so you planted a kiss fully on his lips now — multiple in fact. the first one your lips stilled on his own for a bit, then letting go to place small easy ones. you then brought it to his cheek, pecking a bunch around that one area.

and that finally won him over.

he let out a smile, alongside with a string of giggles. he turned his head away from you, but it only brought you closer, still kissing his cheek.

he closed his eyes, his head shifting back to normal but instead he turned over to you, his lips catching your own this time.

he placed his phone down on his waist, shutting it off, as he brought his hand up to your cheek to hold your lips against his. you hummed against his lips at the harsh pressure, forcefully pulling away with a huge smile written on your face now.

the butterflies in your stomach grew louder and made your breath hitch every few seconds. the action, his smile, his touch, his kiss was all you asked for and you finally got it. you had him right where you wanted him to be.

"you're so clingy now." he lowly remarked, his hand still placed onto your cheek as he scanned your face, his eyes dropping to your lips once a while.

"you weren't acknowledging me." you let out a breathy laugh, sadness laced in your voice, as your eyes dropped back down to his lips as well.

he hummed, dragging his thumb across your cheek, this time fully locking his gaze onto your mouth, "now i am."

you guys remained like that for a little bit, indulging in each others beauty. hearts stammered with nerves and affection, as your touch lingered with heat and warmth.

you couldn't help but chuckle nervously at his intense gaze, almost wanting to look away and hide yourself in a hurdle, but it's almost like he caught on and he didn't want you going anywhere.

he brought your face closer to a proper, real kiss. the hand that rested casually on his other shoulder blade snuck up to the back of his neck, getting comfortable with the kiss.

"look who's the clingy one now." he murmured against your lips, pure tease in his tone. "shut up." you replied back in a whisper, as a smile formed on your lips while still meeting with his.

you two where right where you wanted to be. at peace, in love, no distractions, and lost in the moment. good to know that there's no losing each other after that.

ness ˎˊ˗ i'm cheating on juhoon right now so here's this :)

© yuesning — all rights reserved. DO NOT translate, copy, or transfer my works to other sites. this is my only writing blog.

the thought of james and all of a sudden ran through your head, the composure that you usually have became undone and he had only walked through the door.

this wasn't the person who you thought you were.

"are you okay?"

you snapped back into your thoughts, eyes flashing wide open as you felt a hand grip onto your shoulder, "you almost fell there, let's take a break on drinking, yeah?" your friend rushed hurriedly, grabbing the cup from your hand and placing it back onto the counter.

"no i'm fine i just – i drank too fast, ill go back to the couch." you smiled innocently, like you weren't just stress sweating a minute ago. "okay but if this happens again, we're dipping out of here."

"i'm fine." you reached out of her grip, fixing your hair as you made your way towards the couch.

you stepped in slowly, trying to avoid contact with everyone — specifically james. you felt your heart pounding, as you walked to one of the empty spots on the couches and by mind you sat next to james without intent, but just because it's a habit.

you sighed, running your hands down your bare thighs from nerves, feeling the warmth of james right beside you.

james noticed the small movement, raising an eyebrow at your impulsive breathing and your hands slowly rubbing up and down your legs like you tried to hide your nerves with comfort.

"you okay?" he leaned down, whispering against your ear, eyeing the people beside him.

"yeah im okay," you replied quietly. you looked over towards him, scanning his face. james met your gaze, staring deeply into you, "then why are you nervous?" he teased, a smile coming across his face.

your eyebrows furrowed, "i'm not nervous."

james saw the flutter in your eyes, the breaking in your voice, your voice getting quieter as the sentence progressed. he already knew the reasoning behind all your actions.

he hummed, "i believe you." he leaned back on the couch, shamelessly letting an arm rest behind you.

you shut your eyes, your arms coming to a cross, your heart only beating faster and faster. you already knew this night wasn't going to last the way you anticipated.

you sat beside james the whole time, easing off with conversations between you and your own friends, zoning out into spaces, anything to try to get james off of your mind.

james did the same thing — like usual; made conversations with his own friends, but his arm still rested behind you like it was a normal friendship action to do. good thing nobody questioned about it.

you really thought your composure regained itself with the distractions, with the ignorance of his arm behind you — though his hand got closer to closer to your shoulder as time went on and you never noticed until you felt the warmth of his hand on your shoulder, his fingers grabbing around the blade of it.

nobody noticed it – most likely too immersed in the different topics that were thrown around the room, but you sure did. your breath hitched mid conversation with your friend, the same stuttering happening all over again.

james smirked to himself, feeling the glow of your skin get hotter by his gesture, but he continued on with his conversations, despite the tension only getting deeper internally.

you tried laughing it off, giggling at whatever your friend had just said, regardless if it was humorous or not, you just needed to distract yourself harder.

but his hand dragged down the sole of your shoulder, reaching down to your elbow, then raising it back up to your blade, resting it there once again.

you bit your lip, letting out a deep breath, as you removed your gaze from your friend.

her voice came to a stop, as you snapped your head towards her, nervous that she may have caught on. "are you okay?" she titled her head.

"yeah?" you replied, confused.

"oh you just looked away from me randomly, i thought something happened again." her lips slanted, worry written all over her face.

you looked at her dumbfounded, not sure if she was being sarcastic or if she was completely oblivious to the hand that was currently rubbing up and down on your arm.

"are you drunk?" you questioned.

"no?" she furrowed her eyebrows, "why would you think that?"

you looked at her up and down, "just - just continue. i'm listening."

"i'll just talk to you later." she rolled your eyes, "or i'll talk to someone else that won't look away from me mid conversation." she huffed out a breath, crossing her arms in the meantime.

you looked over to james, watching the way he scrolled on his phone. "what the fuck are you doing?" you leaned in closer, yelling out quietly.

he met your gaze, "i'm on my phone." he replied blankly, "what are you accusing me of?"

"look at where your hand is and tell me what i'm accusing you of?"

"i'm touching my girl?"

you closed your eyes, "look where we are. if someone sees this you're fucked."

"i don't think they know regardless." he looked around the room, "they're all drunk. also, your friend didn't even catch it. i could make out with you right now and nobody would know."

you rolled your eyes, smiling hard, blush seeping through your cheeks, "don't talk to me like that, you're already doing this."

he chuckled, "i can talk to you however i want cause i know you wouldn't mind."

your tongue met the inside of your cheek, scanning his face once again. you felt your breath becoming rapid, your stare getting lost into his face, words coming blank to your mind.

"i'm going back to the kitchen." your voice came out soft, shaking your head away from any thoughts getting further the more you looked at him.

he smiled, "i'll be waiting for you"

"please don't be." you joked, rushingly getting up from your seat, making your way over the ruckus on the floor.

james watched you as you walked away, both of his arms coming to the top of the couch.

you let a hand run down your forearm, letting out another deep breath that was held in for a long time. you swore that you were going to be out of oxygen as the night approached, he was making you feral by this point.

and he knew.

you arrive to the kitchen, immediately resting your hands on the counter as the breeze from the semi opened window right above the sink settled in, causing you to squint your eyes at the air.

you ran a hand through your hair, letting it sit for a bit before running it through completely, your mind completely bombarded.

his looks remained unchanged in your mind, he has always looked good but never this good to the point you felt feelings you never felt before.

you were always patient, always composed to everyone, nobody knew about your relationships simply because you knew how to handle one privately — but now, you fell like a whole different person.

he knew what he was doing, he knew how you felt and he just wanted to see how far you could go.

you heard shuffling come from behind you, soft footsteps approaching behind you. you looked up at the reflection of the window and your lips immediately came to a smirk, dipping your head back down to stare down at the marble.

he stared at the back of your head the whole time, now resting his back against the counter beside you as he now stared at your side profile.

he dipped his hands in the pockets of his sweats, "you're acting different than usual." he finally broke the silence, lowly.

"you know what you're doing james," you huffed out a breath, raising your head up to look over at him, "i know what you're doing." you added on.

"what am i doing?" he raised an eyebrow. "don't act stupid cause you never do this in front of people." you replied back in an argumentative tone.

"don't get messy with me." he replied sternly, watching your change in demeanor, "i don't like when you start arguing with me."

you remove your hands off the counter, moving closer to him before coming to a stop right in front of him.

his hands stayed flat against the counter, looking at you up and down, watching you carefully. his mind fought the urge to bring his hands towards you, but he wanted to see where you'd take this.

you brought your hands onto his lower stomach, gliding it up until it landed onto his collarbone, meeting his gaze.

he watched you deeply, "don't start this."

you smiled, "you started this." you titled your head, bringing obvious tease onto the scene.

his heart fluttered, letting out a breathy chuckle. he finally brought his hands onto your waist, bringing you in closer until both of your chests glued together, "but i don't like when you do it."

you pouted sarcastically, your hands sliding up to his cheeks, bringing his face closer.

he immediately looked down to your lips, then back to your eyes. he chuckled once again, with a shake of his head, rising his head up a bit, "you're fucking crazy."

"how am i crazy?" you smiled. he licked his lips, heaving a breath, "you're doing this to me knowing that there's people out there."

you hummed, "now you know how i feel." you nodded slowly, "but you're only saying that because you know i won."

"won wh –"

you brought his face back down, planting a quick, lingering kiss onto his lips. you pulled back smiling, and he chased to meet your lips again, but your head retracted back before he could.

"don't get ahead of yourself, maybe someone's watching." you laughed, sliding his hands off of you. you turned on your heels, now leaving him to sulk in the kitchen.

he tried to reach out for your arm, but your legs were faster than him. he placed both of his hands back onto the counter, throwing his head back with a small smile.

you made your way back to the living room , scanning the scene; everyone got worse, multiple cups stacked onto the table, some of them sleeping on the floor — it was a mess.

you stopped in your tracks when you felt a sudden spark reappear in your stomach as your eyes gazed over the spot you and james sat in prior, now empty, yearning for your name.

your mind replayed the moment that happened seconds ago, the shift in tension, the closeness, his stare, his presence — the confidence you had before, is now gone.

you moved forward into the room, grabbing your car keys off of the coffee table.

"where are you going?" one of the boys asked, sitting up straight like you leaving was the end of the world. "home?" you squinted your eyes.

they groaned, "it's only like ten pm though."

"yeah and i'm going home." you rolled your eyes, brushing your top, getting ready to head to the enterance.

"no you're not." you heard a voice call out, the room falling silent. you turned around, only to meet james standing right by the couch.

oh's, flooded around the room, some of them trying to hold in their laughter at the sudden remark from james after being quiet for so long.

"he's serious too." one of his friends added intently, too engaged in the sudden change of tension.

you rolled your eyes once more, "i'm going home."

"why?" james questioned.

your mind froze, searching for an excuse, "i'm tired and i have a cat to feed." you turned back around, ready to head out.

"no don't go home!" one of your friends picked herself up from the couch, running straight to your arms, indulging you into a tight hug, "you can't go.." she mumbled into the crook of your neck, the cup in her hand only getting deeper and deeper into your stomach at that point.

"you're so fucking drunk." you patted her back, laughing while trying to pull back but she only emerged forward after every movement, pain now striking in, "your cup..." you said softly, panic scattering your body.

everyone rised up from the couch as they saw your expression shift to panic, trying to remove her from the scene.

"i told you to hold her down, she's so drunk." one of the other girls yelled out to the guy that sat beside her. "she left me!" he yelled back.

you opened your eyes, catching james in the corner of your eye, standing there almost like he was admiring the scene. "you going to help or what dude?" you yelled out loud.

"your girl is calling for you bro." one of his friends teased, patting his shoulder as he dragged the girl back onto the couch.

you stare wide eyed between the two of them, your eyebrows furrowing as your chest heaved up and down, "what the fuck is wrong with you." you yelled out, grabbing your stomach in the process.

"this is why im leaving, all of you guys are a mess." you turned on your heels but instead of rushing to the enternace you settled yourself into the bathroom that was down the hall.

you weren't even in pain anymore, it was more fury than anything. you knew the relationship was secretive but you had just gotten hurt and he had stood there in awe the whole time.

it got to you when you realized his own friends cared more about you than him and it genuinely upsetted you and that almost made him become fully erased from your mind – just like what happened in the kitchen scene.

you planted your car keys onto the counter, flatting the top of your hair down, fixing the flyaways as it got progressively messier when they tried removing your friend.

"what the hell bro?" you whispered to yourself, trying to fix anything that had gotten ruin physically.

the door suddenly opened, leading your movements to a halt.

"listen –" the sudden entry started.

you groaned deeply, "there's no listen. get out." you faced toward the door, peaking through the creek of the opened door, "please leave me alone." you whined when you realized who it was.

he didn't listen, instead he opened the door further, making you push away from it, leaving no room to push him away any farther.

"i know you're mad at me." he whispered, closing the door behind him. "of course i'm mad at you, you didn't even protect me."

"i didn't know what to do. and you know how she is, she's crazy." his tone remained calm, the lack of anger laced in his voice,

"still, it was a whole glass cup and you stood there." you sighed in disbelief.

"realistically, everyone was already up to help you –"

"but i wanted you to help me." you cut him off, slightly harsh.

he sighed, fingers running through his hair.

just by that moment, you felt the anger flush away within a second, your eyes beaming into him, erasing your thoughts completely.

you sighed back — not from disbelief of the situation this time, but more so from the same feeling you had felt earlier when he entered.

the new look, the way his whole persona changed just by a small detail. it almost made you not want to argue anymore – the feeling fuming its way back into you once again,

"i don't like how you're acting today." you crossed your arms, "you never, ever do this during a group hangout. it's like you dyed your hair and knew how i was going to act."

"or maybe you put a spell on me." you added on.

he laughed, stepping closer to you, "that's exactly it. i just know you so well."

"is this really the day you want us to expose – our whatever we have – to everyone in this house right now?"

"well that depends on how obvious you make it."

you rolled your eyes, arms coming down to your side in defeat, "you made it more obvious than me."

"i just wanted to show you some love." he mumbled, stepping even more closer, watching you with a look that made your heart beat fast.

"stop," your lips forming into a slight pout that eventually turned into a smile.

he chuckled, not even bothering with a reply as he brought a hand to your waist and the other one on your chin, bringing your face closer to his.

you looked in between his lips and his stare, sweat bawling up on the palm of your hands, your nervous system getting intense, the heat now running through your body.

your brought your hands up to the back of his neck, unintentionally bringing his face even closer to your own, lips only inches away from being touched.

"i knew you weren't going to stay angry at me." he mumbled, his breath fanning your lips. "shut up." you whispered, as you were the one who finally closed the distance.

his lips immediately took charge, the hand that was on your chin fell down to the other side of your waist, pulling you in even closer.

it was the usual soft kiss he always gave you, the passionate one that went on for hours and never got too intense — the one that screamed the patience you had for each other, never rushing the moment.

he titled his head, bring you in deeper into the kiss. your hands glided to his chest, soft breathing filling up the room.

the sound of chatter, the sound of bottles clinking, the sound of the hum from the tv fell into the back of your mind as it remained on james, feeding into the moment.

it seemed like the same way for him as he slowly controlled the kiss more intensely; his hand moving to the sole of your back, rubbing up and down, as the other reached the back of your thigh.

you caught onto the signal as your legs wrapped around his waist. he guided you onto the counter in a swift motion, both of his hands landing back onto your waist as you sat down on the edge of the marble.

your arms wrapped around his neck, shoving him deeper into the kiss to the point where he was hovering over you on top of the counter, the back of your head almost meeting the backsplash on the wall.

he broke away from the kiss, his breath still heavy on you, "you trying to make me sit up here with you or something?" he chuckled with humor, but the heat on his face, the slight purse of his lips didn't make you find the comment funny, only wanting more.

"not my intention." you replied blankly, eyes scanning back down to his lips, as you brought him back with no hurry.

"damn." he mumbled to himself against your lips, your lips now becoming more intense — the mood now feeling more like love than anything else.

"yo james what the fuck are you doing in there?" a muffled voice was heard from behind the door, alongside with some harsh knocks, the loud noise forcefully making you two break the kiss.

"dude." he whispered, "this is dangerous love." he shook his head, his head falling to the crook of your neck.

"you better go otherwise we're gonna expose ourselves." you managed to let out, despite the fact that your face was flushed and the flyaways that were once up were now stuck to your forehead.

"at this point, i don't even care." he met your gaze, "hide in the shower, i'll leave first."

"yeah go help the drunk one out there otherwise she'll shove a cup into you too."

he shook his head with laughter, "i love you." he planted a kiss onto your cheek, before sliding off of you.

you watched him intently, "also keep the blonde it looks nice – really nice on you." you smiled, kicking your feet that hung off the counter, watching him clean himself off.

"wait did you just say i love you?"

ness ˎˊ˗ YOO JAMES WORK!! who cheered cause i did. the blonde hair got a hold on me for awhile and i was down to write something for him... i can't write anymore help me

© yuesning — all rights reserved. DO NOT translate, copy, or transfer my works to other sites. this is my only writing blog.

the thought of james and all of a sudden ran through your head, the composure that you usually have became undone and he had only walked through the door.

this wasn't the person who you thought you were.

"are you okay?"

you snapped back into your thoughts, eyes flashing wide open as you felt a hand grip onto your shoulder, "you almost fell there, let's take a break on drinking, yeah?" your friend rushed hurriedly, grabbing the cup from your hand and placing it back onto the counter.

"no i'm fine i just – i drank too fast, ill go back to the couch." you smiled innocently, like you weren't just stress sweating a minute ago. "okay but if this happens again, we're dipping out of here."

"i'm fine." you reached out of her grip, fixing your hair as you made your way towards the couch.

you stepped in slowly, trying to avoid contact with everyone — specifically james. you felt your heart pounding, as you walked to one of the empty spots on the couches and by mind you sat next to james without intent, but just because it's a habit.

you sighed, running your hands down your bare thighs from nerves, feeling the warmth of james right beside you.

james noticed the small movement, raising an eyebrow at your impulsive breathing and your hands slowly rubbing up and down your legs like you tried to hide your nerves with comfort.

"you okay?" he leaned down, whispering against your ear, eyeing the people beside him.

"yeah im okay," you replied quietly. you looked over towards him, scanning his face. james met your gaze, staring deeply into you, "then why are you nervous?" he teased, a smile coming across his face.

your eyebrows furrowed, "i'm not nervous."

james saw the flutter in your eyes, the breaking in your voice, your voice getting quieter as the sentence progressed. he already knew the reasoning behind all your actions.

he hummed, "i believe you." he leaned back on the couch, shamelessly letting an arm rest behind you.

you shut your eyes, your arms coming to a cross, your heart only beating faster and faster. you already knew this night wasn't going to last the way you anticipated.

you sat beside james the whole time, easing off with conversations between you and your own friends, zoning out into spaces, anything to try to get james off of your mind.

james did the same thing — like usual; made conversations with his own friends, but his arm still rested behind you like it was a normal friendship action to do. good thing nobody questioned about it.

you really thought your composure regained itself with the distractions, with the ignorance of his arm behind you — though his hand got closer to closer to your shoulder as time went on and you never noticed until you felt the warmth of his hand on your shoulder, his fingers grabbing around the blade of it.

nobody noticed it – most likely too immersed in the different topics that were thrown around the room, but you sure did. your breath hitched mid conversation with your friend, the same stuttering happening all over again.

james smirked to himself, feeling the glow of your skin get hotter by his gesture, but he continued on with his conversations, despite the tension only getting deeper internally.

you tried laughing it off, giggling at whatever your friend had just said, regardless if it was humorous or not, you just needed to distract yourself harder.

but his hand dragged down the sole of your shoulder, reaching down to your elbow, then raising it back up to your blade, resting it there once again.

you bit your lip, letting out a deep breath, as you removed your gaze from your friend.

her voice came to a stop, as you snapped your head towards her, nervous that she may have caught on. "are you okay?" she titled her head.

"yeah?" you replied, confused.

"oh you just looked away from me randomly, i thought something happened again." her lips slanted, worry written all over her face.

you looked at her dumbfounded, not sure if she was being sarcastic or if she was completely oblivious to the hand that was currently rubbing up and down on your arm.

"are you drunk?" you questioned.

"no?" she furrowed her eyebrows, "why would you think that?"

you looked at her up and down, "just - just continue. i'm listening."

"i'll just talk to you later." she rolled your eyes, "or i'll talk to someone else that won't look away from me mid conversation." she huffed out a breath, crossing her arms in the meantime.

you looked over to james, watching the way he scrolled on his phone. "what the fuck are you doing?" you leaned in closer, yelling out quietly.

he met your gaze, "i'm on my phone." he replied blankly, "what are you accusing me of?"

"look at where your hand is and tell me what i'm accusing you of?"

"i'm touching my girl?"

you closed your eyes, "look where we are. if someone sees this you're fucked."

"i don't think they know regardless." he looked around the room, "they're all drunk. also, your friend didn't even catch it. i could make out with you right now and nobody would know."

you rolled your eyes, smiling hard, blush seeping through your cheeks, "don't talk to me like that, you're already doing this."

he chuckled, "i can talk to you however i want cause i know you wouldn't mind."

your tongue met the inside of your cheek, scanning his face once again. you felt your breath becoming rapid, your stare getting lost into his face, words coming blank to your mind.

"i'm going back to the kitchen." your voice came out soft, shaking your head away from any thoughts getting further the more you looked at him.

he smiled, "i'll be waiting for you"

"please don't be." you joked, rushingly getting up from your seat, making your way over the ruckus on the floor.

james watched you as you walked away, both of his arms coming to the top of the couch.

you let a hand run down your forearm, letting out another deep breath that was held in for a long time. you swore that you were going to be out of oxygen as the night approached, he was making you feral by this point.

and he knew.

you arrive to the kitchen, immediately resting your hands on the counter as the breeze from the semi opened window right above the sink settled in, causing you to squint your eyes at the air.

you ran a hand through your hair, letting it sit for a bit before running it through completely, your mind completely bombarded.

his looks remained unchanged in your mind, he has always looked good but never this good to the point you felt feelings you never felt before.

you were always patient, always composed to everyone, nobody knew about your relationships simply because you knew how to handle one privately — but now, you fell like a whole different person.

he knew what he was doing, he knew how you felt and he just wanted to see how far you could go.

you heard shuffling come from behind you, soft footsteps approaching behind you. you looked up at the reflection of the window and your lips immediately came to a smirk, dipping your head back down to stare down at the marble.

he stared at the back of your head the whole time, now resting his back against the counter beside you as he now stared at your side profile.

he dipped his hands in the pockets of his sweats, "you're acting different than usual." he finally broke the silence, lowly.

"you know what you're doing james," you huffed out a breath, raising your head up to look over at him, "i know what you're doing." you added on.

"what am i doing?" he raised an eyebrow. "don't act stupid cause you never do this in front of people." you replied back in an argumentative tone.

"don't get messy with me." he replied sternly, watching your change in demeanor, "i don't like when you start arguing with me."

you remove your hands off the counter, moving closer to him before coming to a stop right in front of him.

his hands stayed flat against the counter, looking at you up and down, watching you carefully. his mind fought the urge to bring his hands towards you, but he wanted to see where you'd take this.

you brought your hands onto his lower stomach, gliding it up until it landed onto his collarbone, meeting his gaze.

he watched you deeply, "don't start this."

you smiled, "you started this." you titled your head, bringing obvious tease onto the scene.

his heart fluttered, letting out a breathy chuckle. he finally brought his hands onto your waist, bringing you in closer until both of your chests glued together, "but i don't like when you do it."

you pouted sarcastically, your hands sliding up to his cheeks, bringing his face closer.

he immediately looked down to your lips, then back to your eyes. he chuckled once again, with a shake of his head, rising his head up a bit, "you're fucking crazy."

"how am i crazy?" you smiled. he licked his lips, heaving a breath, "you're doing this to me knowing that there's people out there."

you hummed, "now you know how i feel." you nodded slowly, "but you're only saying that because you know i won."

"won wh –"

you brought his face back down, planting a quick, lingering kiss onto his lips. you pulled back smiling, and he chased to meet your lips again, but your head retracted back before he could.

"don't get ahead of yourself, maybe someone's watching." you laughed, sliding his hands off of you. you turned on your heels, now leaving him to sulk in the kitchen.

he tried to reach out for your arm, but your legs were faster than him. he placed both of his hands back onto the counter, throwing his head back with a small smile.

you made your way back to the living room , scanning the scene; everyone got worse, multiple cups stacked onto the table, some of them sleeping on the floor — it was a mess.

you stopped in your tracks when you felt a sudden spark reappear in your stomach as your eyes gazed over the spot you and james sat in prior, now empty, yearning for your name.

your mind replayed the moment that happened seconds ago, the shift in tension, the closeness, his stare, his presence — the confidence you had before, is now gone.

you moved forward into the room, grabbing your car keys off of the coffee table.

"where are you going?" one of the boys asked, sitting up straight like you leaving was the end of the world. "home?" you squinted your eyes.

they groaned, "it's only like ten pm though."

"yeah and i'm going home." you rolled your eyes, brushing your top, getting ready to head to the enterance.

"no you're not." you heard a voice call out, the room falling silent. you turned around, only to meet james standing right by the couch.

oh's, flooded around the room, some of them trying to hold in their laughter at the sudden remark from james after being quiet for so long.

"he's serious too." one of his friends added intently, too engaged in the sudden change of tension.

you rolled your eyes once more, "i'm going home."

"why?" james questioned.

your mind froze, searching for an excuse, "i'm tired and i have a cat to feed." you turned back around, ready to head out.

"no don't go home!" one of your friends picked herself up from the couch, running straight to your arms, indulging you into a tight hug, "you can't go.." she mumbled into the crook of your neck, the cup in her hand only getting deeper and deeper into your stomach at that point.

"you're so fucking drunk." you patted her back, laughing while trying to pull back but she only emerged forward after every movement, pain now striking in, "your cup..." you said softly, panic scattering your body.

everyone rised up from the couch as they saw your expression shift to panic, trying to remove her from the scene.

"i told you to hold her down, she's so drunk." one of the other girls yelled out to the guy that sat beside her. "she left me!" he yelled back.

you opened your eyes, catching james in the corner of your eye, standing there almost like he was admiring the scene. "you going to help or what dude?" you yelled out loud.

"your girl is calling for you bro." one of his friends teased, patting his shoulder as he dragged the girl back onto the couch.

you stare wide eyed between the two of them, your eyebrows furrowing as your chest heaved up and down, "what the fuck is wrong with you." you yelled out, grabbing your stomach in the process.

"this is why im leaving, all of you guys are a mess." you turned on your heels but instead of rushing to the enternace you settled yourself into the bathroom that was down the hall.

you weren't even in pain anymore, it was more fury than anything. you knew the relationship was secretive but you had just gotten hurt and he had stood there in awe the whole time.

it got to you when you realized his own friends cared more about you than him and it genuinely upsetted you and that almost made him become fully erased from your mind – just like what happened in the kitchen scene.

you planted your car keys onto the counter, flatting the top of your hair down, fixing the flyaways as it got progressively messier when they tried removing your friend.

"what the hell bro?" you whispered to yourself, trying to fix anything that had gotten ruin physically.

the door suddenly opened, leading your movements to a halt.

"listen –" the sudden entry started.

you groaned deeply, "there's no listen. get out." you faced toward the door, peaking through the creek of the opened door, "please leave me alone." you whined when you realized who it was.

he didn't listen, instead he opened the door further, making you push away from it, leaving no room to push him away any farther.

"i know you're mad at me." he whispered, closing the door behind him. "of course i'm mad at you, you didn't even protect me."

"i didn't know what to do. and you know how she is, she's crazy." his tone remained calm, the lack of anger laced in his voice,

"still, it was a whole glass cup and you stood there." you sighed in disbelief.

"realistically, everyone was already up to help you –"

"but i wanted you to help me." you cut him off, slightly harsh.

he sighed, fingers running through his hair.

just by that moment, you felt the anger flush away within a second, your eyes beaming into him, erasing your thoughts completely.

you sighed back — not from disbelief of the situation this time, but more so from the same feeling you had felt earlier when he entered.

the new look, the way his whole persona changed just by a small detail. it almost made you not want to argue anymore – the feeling fuming its way back into you once again,

"i don't like how you're acting today." you crossed your arms, "you never, ever do this during a group hangout. it's like you dyed your hair and knew how i was going to act."

"or maybe you put a spell on me." you added on.

he laughed, stepping closer to you, "that's exactly it. i just know you so well."

"is this really the day you want us to expose – our whatever we have – to everyone in this house right now?"

"well that depends on how obvious you make it."

you rolled your eyes, arms coming down to your side in defeat, "you made it more obvious than me."

"i just wanted to show you some love." he mumbled, stepping even more closer, watching you with a look that made your heart beat fast.

"stop," your lips forming into a slight pout that eventually turned into a smile.

he chuckled, not even bothering with a reply as he brought a hand to your waist and the other one on your chin, bringing your face closer to his.

you looked in between his lips and his stare, sweat bawling up on the palm of your hands, your nervous system getting intense, the heat now running through your body.

your brought your hands up to the back of his neck, unintentionally bringing his face even closer to your own, lips only inches away from being touched.

"i knew you weren't going to stay angry at me." he mumbled, his breath fanning your lips. "shut up." you whispered, as you were the one who finally closed the distance.

his lips immediately took charge, the hand that was on your chin fell down to the other side of your waist, pulling you in even closer.

it was the usual soft kiss he always gave you, the passionate one that went on for hours and never got too intense — the one that screamed the patience you had for each other, never rushing the moment.

he titled his head, bring you in deeper into the kiss. your hands glided to his chest, soft breathing filling up the room.

the sound of chatter, the sound of bottles clinking, the sound of the hum from the tv fell into the back of your mind as it remained on james, feeding into the moment.

it seemed like the same way for him as he slowly controlled the kiss more intensely; his hand moving to the sole of your back, rubbing up and down, as the other reached the back of your thigh.

you caught onto the signal as your legs wrapped around his waist. he guided you onto the counter in a swift motion, both of his hands landing back onto your waist as you sat down on the edge of the marble.

your arms wrapped around his neck, shoving him deeper into the kiss to the point where he was hovering over you on top of the counter, the back of your head almost meeting the backsplash on the wall.

he broke away from the kiss, his breath still heavy on you, "you trying to make me sit up here with you or something?" he chuckled with humor, but the heat on his face, the slight purse of his lips didn't make you find the comment funny, only wanting more.

"not my intention." you replied blankly, eyes scanning back down to his lips, as you brought him back with no hurry.

"damn." he mumbled to himself against your lips, your lips now becoming more intense — the mood now feeling more like love than anything else.

"yo james what the fuck are you doing in there?" a muffled voice was heard from behind the door, alongside with some harsh knocks, the loud noise forcefully making you two break the kiss.

"dude." he whispered, "this is dangerous love." he shook his head, his head falling to the crook of your neck.

"you better go otherwise we're gonna expose ourselves." you managed to let out, despite the fact that your face was flushed and the flyaways that were once up were now stuck to your forehead.

"at this point, i don't even care." he met your gaze, "hide in the shower, i'll leave first."

"yeah go help the drunk one out there otherwise she'll shove a cup into you too."

he shook his head with laughter, "i love you." he planted a kiss onto your cheek, before sliding off of you.

you watched him intently, "also keep the blonde it looks nice – really nice on you." you smiled, kicking your feet that hung off the counter, watching him clean himself off.

"wait did you just say i love you?"

ness ˎˊ˗ YOO JAMES WORK!! who cheered cause i did. the blonde hair got a hold on me for awhile and i was down to write something for him... i can't write anymore help me

© yuesning — all rights reserved. DO NOT translate, copy, or transfer my works to other sites. this is my only writing blog.

the thought of james and all of a sudden ran through your head, the composure that you usually have became undone and he had only walked through the door.

this wasn't the person who you thought you were.

"are you okay?"

you snapped back into your thoughts, eyes flashing wide open as you felt a hand grip onto your shoulder, "you almost fell there, let's take a break on drinking, yeah?" your friend rushed hurriedly, grabbing the cup from your hand and placing it back onto the counter.

"no i'm fine i just – i drank too fast, ill go back to the couch." you smiled innocently, like you weren't just stress sweating a minute ago. "okay but if this happens again, we're dipping out of here."

"i'm fine." you reached out of her grip, fixing your hair as you made your way towards the couch.

you stepped in slowly, trying to avoid contact with everyone — specifically james. you felt your heart pounding, as you walked to one of the empty spots on the couches and by mind you sat next to james without intent, but just because it's a habit.

you sighed, running your hands down your bare thighs from nerves, feeling the warmth of james right beside you.

james noticed the small movement, raising an eyebrow at your impulsive breathing and your hands slowly rubbing up and down your legs like you tried to hide your nerves with comfort.

"you okay?" he leaned down, whispering against your ear, eyeing the people beside him.

"yeah im okay," you replied quietly. you looked over towards him, scanning his face. james met your gaze, staring deeply into you, "then why are you nervous?" he teased, a smile coming across his face.

your eyebrows furrowed, "i'm not nervous."

james saw the flutter in your eyes, the breaking in your voice, your voice getting quieter as the sentence progressed. he already knew the reasoning behind all your actions.

he hummed, "i believe you." he leaned back on the couch, shamelessly letting an arm rest behind you.

you shut your eyes, your arms coming to a cross, your heart only beating faster and faster. you already knew this night wasn't going to last the way you anticipated.

you sat beside james the whole time, easing off with conversations between you and your own friends, zoning out into spaces, anything to try to get james off of your mind.

james did the same thing — like usual; made conversations with his own friends, but his arm still rested behind you like it was a normal friendship action to do. good thing nobody questioned about it.

you really thought your composure regained itself with the distractions, with the ignorance of his arm behind you — though his hand got closer to closer to your shoulder as time went on and you never noticed until you felt the warmth of his hand on your shoulder, his fingers grabbing around the blade of it.

nobody noticed it – most likely too immersed in the different topics that were thrown around the room, but you sure did. your breath hitched mid conversation with your friend, the same stuttering happening all over again.

james smirked to himself, feeling the glow of your skin get hotter by his gesture, but he continued on with his conversations, despite the tension only getting deeper internally.

you tried laughing it off, giggling at whatever your friend had just said, regardless if it was humorous or not, you just needed to distract yourself harder.

but his hand dragged down the sole of your shoulder, reaching down to your elbow, then raising it back up to your blade, resting it there once again.

you bit your lip, letting out a deep breath, as you removed your gaze from your friend.

her voice came to a stop, as you snapped your head towards her, nervous that she may have caught on. "are you okay?" she titled her head.

"yeah?" you replied, confused.

"oh you just looked away from me randomly, i thought something happened again." her lips slanted, worry written all over her face.

you looked at her dumbfounded, not sure if she was being sarcastic or if she was completely oblivious to the hand that was currently rubbing up and down on your arm.

"are you drunk?" you questioned.

"no?" she furrowed her eyebrows, "why would you think that?"

you looked at her up and down, "just - just continue. i'm listening."

"i'll just talk to you later." she rolled your eyes, "or i'll talk to someone else that won't look away from me mid conversation." she huffed out a breath, crossing her arms in the meantime.

you looked over to james, watching the way he scrolled on his phone. "what the fuck are you doing?" you leaned in closer, yelling out quietly.

he met your gaze, "i'm on my phone." he replied blankly, "what are you accusing me of?"

"look at where your hand is and tell me what i'm accusing you of?"

"i'm touching my girl?"

you closed your eyes, "look where we are. if someone sees this you're fucked."

"i don't think they know regardless." he looked around the room, "they're all drunk. also, your friend didn't even catch it. i could make out with you right now and nobody would know."

you rolled your eyes, smiling hard, blush seeping through your cheeks, "don't talk to me like that, you're already doing this."

he chuckled, "i can talk to you however i want cause i know you wouldn't mind."

your tongue met the inside of your cheek, scanning his face once again. you felt your breath becoming rapid, your stare getting lost into his face, words coming blank to your mind.

"i'm going back to the kitchen." your voice came out soft, shaking your head away from any thoughts getting further the more you looked at him.

he smiled, "i'll be waiting for you"

"please don't be." you joked, rushingly getting up from your seat, making your way over the ruckus on the floor.

james watched you as you walked away, both of his arms coming to the top of the couch.

you let a hand run down your forearm, letting out another deep breath that was held in for a long time. you swore that you were going to be out of oxygen as the night approached, he was making you feral by this point.

and he knew.

you arrive to the kitchen, immediately resting your hands on the counter as the breeze from the semi opened window right above the sink settled in, causing you to squint your eyes at the air.

you ran a hand through your hair, letting it sit for a bit before running it through completely, your mind completely bombarded.

his looks remained unchanged in your mind, he has always looked good but never this good to the point you felt feelings you never felt before.

you were always patient, always composed to everyone, nobody knew about your relationships simply because you knew how to handle one privately — but now, you fell like a whole different person.

he knew what he was doing, he knew how you felt and he just wanted to see how far you could go.

you heard shuffling come from behind you, soft footsteps approaching behind you. you looked up at the reflection of the window and your lips immediately came to a smirk, dipping your head back down to stare down at the marble.

he stared at the back of your head the whole time, now resting his back against the counter beside you as he now stared at your side profile.

he dipped his hands in the pockets of his sweats, "you're acting different than usual." he finally broke the silence, lowly.

"you know what you're doing james," you huffed out a breath, raising your head up to look over at him, "i know what you're doing." you added on.

"what am i doing?" he raised an eyebrow. "don't act stupid cause you never do this in front of people." you replied back in an argumentative tone.

"don't get messy with me." he replied sternly, watching your change in demeanor, "i don't like when you start arguing with me."

you remove your hands off the counter, moving closer to him before coming to a stop right in front of him.

his hands stayed flat against the counter, looking at you up and down, watching you carefully. his mind fought the urge to bring his hands towards you, but he wanted to see where you'd take this.

you brought your hands onto his lower stomach, gliding it up until it landed onto his collarbone, meeting his gaze.

he watched you deeply, "don't start this."

you smiled, "you started this." you titled your head, bringing obvious tease onto the scene.

his heart fluttered, letting out a breathy chuckle. he finally brought his hands onto your waist, bringing you in closer until both of your chests glued together, "but i don't like when you do it."

you pouted sarcastically, your hands sliding up to his cheeks, bringing his face closer.

he immediately looked down to your lips, then back to your eyes. he chuckled once again, with a shake of his head, rising his head up a bit, "you're fucking crazy."

"how am i crazy?" you smiled. he licked his lips, heaving a breath, "you're doing this to me knowing that there's people out there."

you hummed, "now you know how i feel." you nodded slowly, "but you're only saying that because you know i won."

"won wh –"

you brought his face back down, planting a quick, lingering kiss onto his lips. you pulled back smiling, and he chased to meet your lips again, but your head retracted back before he could.

"don't get ahead of yourself, maybe someone's watching." you laughed, sliding his hands off of you. you turned on your heels, now leaving him to sulk in the kitchen.

he tried to reach out for your arm, but your legs were faster than him. he placed both of his hands back onto the counter, throwing his head back with a small smile.

you made your way back to the living room , scanning the scene; everyone got worse, multiple cups stacked onto the table, some of them sleeping on the floor — it was a mess.

you stopped in your tracks when you felt a sudden spark reappear in your stomach as your eyes gazed over the spot you and james sat in prior, now empty, yearning for your name.

your mind replayed the moment that happened seconds ago, the shift in tension, the closeness, his stare, his presence — the confidence you had before, is now gone.

you moved forward into the room, grabbing your car keys off of the coffee table.

"where are you going?" one of the boys asked, sitting up straight like you leaving was the end of the world. "home?" you squinted your eyes.

they groaned, "it's only like ten pm though."

"yeah and i'm going home." you rolled your eyes, brushing your top, getting ready to head to the enterance.

"no you're not." you heard a voice call out, the room falling silent. you turned around, only to meet james standing right by the couch.

oh's, flooded around the room, some of them trying to hold in their laughter at the sudden remark from james after being quiet for so long.

"he's serious too." one of his friends added intently, too engaged in the sudden change of tension.

you rolled your eyes once more, "i'm going home."

"why?" james questioned.

your mind froze, searching for an excuse, "i'm tired and i have a cat to feed." you turned back around, ready to head out.

"no don't go home!" one of your friends picked herself up from the couch, running straight to your arms, indulging you into a tight hug, "you can't go.." she mumbled into the crook of your neck, the cup in her hand only getting deeper and deeper into your stomach at that point.

"you're so fucking drunk." you patted her back, laughing while trying to pull back but she only emerged forward after every movement, pain now striking in, "your cup..." you said softly, panic scattering your body.

everyone rised up from the couch as they saw your expression shift to panic, trying to remove her from the scene.

"i told you to hold her down, she's so drunk." one of the other girls yelled out to the guy that sat beside her. "she left me!" he yelled back.

you opened your eyes, catching james in the corner of your eye, standing there almost like he was admiring the scene. "you going to help or what dude?" you yelled out loud.

"your girl is calling for you bro." one of his friends teased, patting his shoulder as he dragged the girl back onto the couch.

you stare wide eyed between the two of them, your eyebrows furrowing as your chest heaved up and down, "what the fuck is wrong with you." you yelled out, grabbing your stomach in the process.

"this is why im leaving, all of you guys are a mess." you turned on your heels but instead of rushing to the enternace you settled yourself into the bathroom that was down the hall.

you weren't even in pain anymore, it was more fury than anything. you knew the relationship was secretive but you had just gotten hurt and he had stood there in awe the whole time.

it got to you when you realized his own friends cared more about you than him and it genuinely upsetted you and that almost made him become fully erased from your mind – just like what happened in the kitchen scene.

you planted your car keys onto the counter, flatting the top of your hair down, fixing the flyaways as it got progressively messier when they tried removing your friend.

"what the hell bro?" you whispered to yourself, trying to fix anything that had gotten ruin physically.

the door suddenly opened, leading your movements to a halt.

"listen –" the sudden entry started.

you groaned deeply, "there's no listen. get out." you faced toward the door, peaking through the creek of the opened door, "please leave me alone." you whined when you realized who it was.

he didn't listen, instead he opened the door further, making you push away from it, leaving no room to push him away any farther.

"i know you're mad at me." he whispered, closing the door behind him. "of course i'm mad at you, you didn't even protect me."

"i didn't know what to do. and you know how she is, she's crazy." his tone remained calm, the lack of anger laced in his voice,

"still, it was a whole glass cup and you stood there." you sighed in disbelief.

"realistically, everyone was already up to help you –"

"but i wanted you to help me." you cut him off, slightly harsh.

he sighed, fingers running through his hair.

just by that moment, you felt the anger flush away within a second, your eyes beaming into him, erasing your thoughts completely.

you sighed back — not from disbelief of the situation this time, but more so from the same feeling you had felt earlier when he entered.

the new look, the way his whole persona changed just by a small detail. it almost made you not want to argue anymore – the feeling fuming its way back into you once again,

"i don't like how you're acting today." you crossed your arms, "you never, ever do this during a group hangout. it's like you dyed your hair and knew how i was going to act."

"or maybe you put a spell on me." you added on.

he laughed, stepping closer to you, "that's exactly it. i just know you so well."

"is this really the day you want us to expose – our whatever we have – to everyone in this house right now?"

"well that depends on how obvious you make it."

you rolled your eyes, arms coming down to your side in defeat, "you made it more obvious than me."

"i just wanted to show you some love." he mumbled, stepping even more closer, watching you with a look that made your heart beat fast.

"stop," your lips forming into a slight pout that eventually turned into a smile.

he chuckled, not even bothering with a reply as he brought a hand to your waist and the other one on your chin, bringing your face closer to his.

you looked in between his lips and his stare, sweat bawling up on the palm of your hands, your nervous system getting intense, the heat now running through your body.

your brought your hands up to the back of his neck, unintentionally bringing his face even closer to your own, lips only inches away from being touched.

"i knew you weren't going to stay angry at me." he mumbled, his breath fanning your lips. "shut up." you whispered, as you were the one who finally closed the distance.

his lips immediately took charge, the hand that was on your chin fell down to the other side of your waist, pulling you in even closer.

it was the usual soft kiss he always gave you, the passionate one that went on for hours and never got too intense — the one that screamed the patience you had for each other, never rushing the moment.

he titled his head, bring you in deeper into the kiss. your hands glided to his chest, soft breathing filling up the room.

the sound of chatter, the sound of bottles clinking, the sound of the hum from the tv fell into the back of your mind as it remained on james, feeding into the moment.

it seemed like the same way for him as he slowly controlled the kiss more intensely; his hand moving to the sole of your back, rubbing up and down, as the other reached the back of your thigh.

you caught onto the signal as your legs wrapped around his waist. he guided you onto the counter in a swift motion, both of his hands landing back onto your waist as you sat down on the edge of the marble.

your arms wrapped around his neck, shoving him deeper into the kiss to the point where he was hovering over you on top of the counter, the back of your head almost meeting the backsplash on the wall.

he broke away from the kiss, his breath still heavy on you, "you trying to make me sit up here with you or something?" he chuckled with humor, but the heat on his face, the slight purse of his lips didn't make you find the comment funny, only wanting more.

"not my intention." you replied blankly, eyes scanning back down to his lips, as you brought him back with no hurry.

"damn." he mumbled to himself against your lips, your lips now becoming more intense — the mood now feeling more like love than anything else.

"yo james what the fuck are you doing in there?" a muffled voice was heard from behind the door, alongside with some harsh knocks, the loud noise forcefully making you two break the kiss.

"dude." he whispered, "this is dangerous love." he shook his head, his head falling to the crook of your neck.

"you better go otherwise we're gonna expose ourselves." you managed to let out, despite the fact that your face was flushed and the flyaways that were once up were now stuck to your forehead.

"at this point, i don't even care." he met your gaze, "hide in the shower, i'll leave first."

"yeah go help the drunk one out there otherwise she'll shove a cup into you too."

he shook his head with laughter, "i love you." he planted a kiss onto your cheek, before sliding off of you.

you watched him intently, "also keep the blonde it looks nice – really nice on you." you smiled, kicking your feet that hung off the counter, watching him clean himself off.

"wait did you just say i love you?"

ness ˎˊ˗ YOO JAMES WORK!! who cheered cause i did. the blonde hair got a hold on me for awhile and i was down to write something for him... i can't write anymore help me

© yuesning — all rights reserved. DO NOT translate, copy, or transfer my works to other sites. this is my only writing blog.

the thought of james and all of a sudden ran through your head, the composure that you usually have became undone and he had only walked through the door.

this wasn't the person who you thought you were.

"are you okay?"

you snapped back into your thoughts, eyes flashing wide open as you felt a hand grip onto your shoulder, "you almost fell there, let's take a break on drinking, yeah?" your friend rushed hurriedly, grabbing the cup from your hand and placing it back onto the counter.

"no i'm fine i just – i drank too fast, ill go back to the couch." you smiled innocently, like you weren't just stress sweating a minute ago. "okay but if this happens again, we're dipping out of here."

"i'm fine." you reached out of her grip, fixing your hair as you made your way towards the couch.

you stepped in slowly, trying to avoid contact with everyone — specifically james. you felt your heart pounding, as you walked to one of the empty spots on the couches and by mind you sat next to james without intent, but just because it's a habit.

you sighed, running your hands down your bare thighs from nerves, feeling the warmth of james right beside you.

james noticed the small movement, raising an eyebrow at your impulsive breathing and your hands slowly rubbing up and down your legs like you tried to hide your nerves with comfort.

"you okay?" he leaned down, whispering against your ear, eyeing the people beside him.

"yeah im okay," you replied quietly. you looked over towards him, scanning his face. james met your gaze, staring deeply into you, "then why are you nervous?" he teased, a smile coming across his face.

your eyebrows furrowed, "i'm not nervous."

james saw the flutter in your eyes, the breaking in your voice, your voice getting quieter as the sentence progressed. he already knew the reasoning behind all your actions.

he hummed, "i believe you." he leaned back on the couch, shamelessly letting an arm rest behind you.

you shut your eyes, your arms coming to a cross, your heart only beating faster and faster. you already knew this night wasn't going to last the way you anticipated.

you sat beside james the whole time, easing off with conversations between you and your own friends, zoning out into spaces, anything to try to get james off of your mind.

james did the same thing — like usual; made conversations with his own friends, but his arm still rested behind you like it was a normal friendship action to do. good thing nobody questioned about it.

you really thought your composure regained itself with the distractions, with the ignorance of his arm behind you — though his hand got closer to closer to your shoulder as time went on and you never noticed until you felt the warmth of his hand on your shoulder, his fingers grabbing around the blade of it.

nobody noticed it – most likely too immersed in the different topics that were thrown around the room, but you sure did. your breath hitched mid conversation with your friend, the same stuttering happening all over again.

james smirked to himself, feeling the glow of your skin get hotter by his gesture, but he continued on with his conversations, despite the tension only getting deeper internally.

you tried laughing it off, giggling at whatever your friend had just said, regardless if it was humorous or not, you just needed to distract yourself harder.

but his hand dragged down the sole of your shoulder, reaching down to your elbow, then raising it back up to your blade, resting it there once again.

you bit your lip, letting out a deep breath, as you removed your gaze from your friend.

her voice came to a stop, as you snapped your head towards her, nervous that she may have caught on. "are you okay?" she titled her head.

"yeah?" you replied, confused.

"oh you just looked away from me randomly, i thought something happened again." her lips slanted, worry written all over her face.

you looked at her dumbfounded, not sure if she was being sarcastic or if she was completely oblivious to the hand that was currently rubbing up and down on your arm.

"are you drunk?" you questioned.

"no?" she furrowed her eyebrows, "why would you think that?"

you looked at her up and down, "just - just continue. i'm listening."

"i'll just talk to you later." she rolled your eyes, "or i'll talk to someone else that won't look away from me mid conversation." she huffed out a breath, crossing her arms in the meantime.

you looked over to james, watching the way he scrolled on his phone. "what the fuck are you doing?" you leaned in closer, yelling out quietly.

he met your gaze, "i'm on my phone." he replied blankly, "what are you accusing me of?"

"look at where your hand is and tell me what i'm accusing you of?"

"i'm touching my girl?"

you closed your eyes, "look where we are. if someone sees this you're fucked."

"i don't think they know regardless." he looked around the room, "they're all drunk. also, your friend didn't even catch it. i could make out with you right now and nobody would know."

you rolled your eyes, smiling hard, blush seeping through your cheeks, "don't talk to me like that, you're already doing this."

he chuckled, "i can talk to you however i want cause i know you wouldn't mind."

your tongue met the inside of your cheek, scanning his face once again. you felt your breath becoming rapid, your stare getting lost into his face, words coming blank to your mind.

"i'm going back to the kitchen." your voice came out soft, shaking your head away from any thoughts getting further the more you looked at him.

he smiled, "i'll be waiting for you"

"please don't be." you joked, rushingly getting up from your seat, making your way over the ruckus on the floor.

james watched you as you walked away, both of his arms coming to the top of the couch.

you let a hand run down your forearm, letting out another deep breath that was held in for a long time. you swore that you were going to be out of oxygen as the night approached, he was making you feral by this point.

and he knew.

you arrive to the kitchen, immediately resting your hands on the counter as the breeze from the semi opened window right above the sink settled in, causing you to squint your eyes at the air.

you ran a hand through your hair, letting it sit for a bit before running it through completely, your mind completely bombarded.

his looks remained unchanged in your mind, he has always looked good but never this good to the point you felt feelings you never felt before.

you were always patient, always composed to everyone, nobody knew about your relationships simply because you knew how to handle one privately — but now, you fell like a whole different person.

he knew what he was doing, he knew how you felt and he just wanted to see how far you could go.

you heard shuffling come from behind you, soft footsteps approaching behind you. you looked up at the reflection of the window and your lips immediately came to a smirk, dipping your head back down to stare down at the marble.

he stared at the back of your head the whole time, now resting his back against the counter beside you as he now stared at your side profile.

he dipped his hands in the pockets of his sweats, "you're acting different than usual." he finally broke the silence, lowly.

"you know what you're doing james," you huffed out a breath, raising your head up to look over at him, "i know what you're doing." you added on.

"what am i doing?" he raised an eyebrow. "don't act stupid cause you never do this in front of people." you replied back in an argumentative tone.

"don't get messy with me." he replied sternly, watching your change in demeanor, "i don't like when you start arguing with me."

you remove your hands off the counter, moving closer to him before coming to a stop right in front of him.

his hands stayed flat against the counter, looking at you up and down, watching you carefully. his mind fought the urge to bring his hands towards you, but he wanted to see where you'd take this.

you brought your hands onto his lower stomach, gliding it up until it landed onto his collarbone, meeting his gaze.

he watched you deeply, "don't start this."

you smiled, "you started this." you titled your head, bringing obvious tease onto the scene.

his heart fluttered, letting out a breathy chuckle. he finally brought his hands onto your waist, bringing you in closer until both of your chests glued together, "but i don't like when you do it."

you pouted sarcastically, your hands sliding up to his cheeks, bringing his face closer.

he immediately looked down to your lips, then back to your eyes. he chuckled once again, with a shake of his head, rising his head up a bit, "you're fucking crazy."

"how am i crazy?" you smiled. he licked his lips, heaving a breath, "you're doing this to me knowing that there's people out there."

you hummed, "now you know how i feel." you nodded slowly, "but you're only saying that because you know i won."

"won wh –"

you brought his face back down, planting a quick, lingering kiss onto his lips. you pulled back smiling, and he chased to meet your lips again, but your head retracted back before he could.

"don't get ahead of yourself, maybe someone's watching." you laughed, sliding his hands off of you. you turned on your heels, now leaving him to sulk in the kitchen.

he tried to reach out for your arm, but your legs were faster than him. he placed both of his hands back onto the counter, throwing his head back with a small smile.

you made your way back to the living room , scanning the scene; everyone got worse, multiple cups stacked onto the table, some of them sleeping on the floor — it was a mess.

you stopped in your tracks when you felt a sudden spark reappear in your stomach as your eyes gazed over the spot you and james sat in prior, now empty, yearning for your name.

your mind replayed the moment that happened seconds ago, the shift in tension, the closeness, his stare, his presence — the confidence you had before, is now gone.

you moved forward into the room, grabbing your car keys off of the coffee table.

"where are you going?" one of the boys asked, sitting up straight like you leaving was the end of the world. "home?" you squinted your eyes.

they groaned, "it's only like ten pm though."

"yeah and i'm going home." you rolled your eyes, brushing your top, getting ready to head to the enterance.

"no you're not." you heard a voice call out, the room falling silent. you turned around, only to meet james standing right by the couch.

oh's, flooded around the room, some of them trying to hold in their laughter at the sudden remark from james after being quiet for so long.

"he's serious too." one of his friends added intently, too engaged in the sudden change of tension.

you rolled your eyes once more, "i'm going home."

"why?" james questioned.

your mind froze, searching for an excuse, "i'm tired and i have a cat to feed." you turned back around, ready to head out.

"no don't go home!" one of your friends picked herself up from the couch, running straight to your arms, indulging you into a tight hug, "you can't go.." she mumbled into the crook of your neck, the cup in her hand only getting deeper and deeper into your stomach at that point.

"you're so fucking drunk." you patted her back, laughing while trying to pull back but she only emerged forward after every movement, pain now striking in, "your cup..." you said softly, panic scattering your body.

everyone rised up from the couch as they saw your expression shift to panic, trying to remove her from the scene.

"i told you to hold her down, she's so drunk." one of the other girls yelled out to the guy that sat beside her. "she left me!" he yelled back.

you opened your eyes, catching james in the corner of your eye, standing there almost like he was admiring the scene. "you going to help or what dude?" you yelled out loud.

"your girl is calling for you bro." one of his friends teased, patting his shoulder as he dragged the girl back onto the couch.

you stare wide eyed between the two of them, your eyebrows furrowing as your chest heaved up and down, "what the fuck is wrong with you." you yelled out, grabbing your stomach in the process.

"this is why im leaving, all of you guys are a mess." you turned on your heels but instead of rushing to the enternace you settled yourself into the bathroom that was down the hall.

you weren't even in pain anymore, it was more fury than anything. you knew the relationship was secretive but you had just gotten hurt and he had stood there in awe the whole time.

it got to you when you realized his own friends cared more about you than him and it genuinely upsetted you and that almost made him become fully erased from your mind – just like what happened in the kitchen scene.

you planted your car keys onto the counter, flatting the top of your hair down, fixing the flyaways as it got progressively messier when they tried removing your friend.

"what the hell bro?" you whispered to yourself, trying to fix anything that had gotten ruin physically.

the door suddenly opened, leading your movements to a halt.

"listen –" the sudden entry started.

you groaned deeply, "there's no listen. get out." you faced toward the door, peaking through the creek of the opened door, "please leave me alone." you whined when you realized who it was.

he didn't listen, instead he opened the door further, making you push away from it, leaving no room to push him away any farther.

"i know you're mad at me." he whispered, closing the door behind him. "of course i'm mad at you, you didn't even protect me."

"i didn't know what to do. and you know how she is, she's crazy." his tone remained calm, the lack of anger laced in his voice,

"still, it was a whole glass cup and you stood there." you sighed in disbelief.

"realistically, everyone was already up to help you –"

"but i wanted you to help me." you cut him off, slightly harsh.

he sighed, fingers running through his hair.

just by that moment, you felt the anger flush away within a second, your eyes beaming into him, erasing your thoughts completely.

you sighed back — not from disbelief of the situation this time, but more so from the same feeling you had felt earlier when he entered.

the new look, the way his whole persona changed just by a small detail. it almost made you not want to argue anymore – the feeling fuming its way back into you once again,

"i don't like how you're acting today." you crossed your arms, "you never, ever do this during a group hangout. it's like you dyed your hair and knew how i was going to act."

"or maybe you put a spell on me." you added on.

he laughed, stepping closer to you, "that's exactly it. i just know you so well."

"is this really the day you want us to expose – our whatever we have – to everyone in this house right now?"

"well that depends on how obvious you make it."

you rolled your eyes, arms coming down to your side in defeat, "you made it more obvious than me."

"i just wanted to show you some love." he mumbled, stepping even more closer, watching you with a look that made your heart beat fast.

"stop," your lips forming into a slight pout that eventually turned into a smile.

he chuckled, not even bothering with a reply as he brought a hand to your waist and the other one on your chin, bringing your face closer to his.

you looked in between his lips and his stare, sweat bawling up on the palm of your hands, your nervous system getting intense, the heat now running through your body.

your brought your hands up to the back of his neck, unintentionally bringing his face even closer to your own, lips only inches away from being touched.

"i knew you weren't going to stay angry at me." he mumbled, his breath fanning your lips. "shut up." you whispered, as you were the one who finally closed the distance.

his lips immediately took charge, the hand that was on your chin fell down to the other side of your waist, pulling you in even closer.

it was the usual soft kiss he always gave you, the passionate one that went on for hours and never got too intense — the one that screamed the patience you had for each other, never rushing the moment.

he titled his head, bring you in deeper into the kiss. your hands glided to his chest, soft breathing filling up the room.

the sound of chatter, the sound of bottles clinking, the sound of the hum from the tv fell into the back of your mind as it remained on james, feeding into the moment.

it seemed like the same way for him as he slowly controlled the kiss more intensely; his hand moving to the sole of your back, rubbing up and down, as the other reached the back of your thigh.

you caught onto the signal as your legs wrapped around his waist. he guided you onto the counter in a swift motion, both of his hands landing back onto your waist as you sat down on the edge of the marble.

your arms wrapped around his neck, shoving him deeper into the kiss to the point where he was hovering over you on top of the counter, the back of your head almost meeting the backsplash on the wall.

he broke away from the kiss, his breath still heavy on you, "you trying to make me sit up here with you or something?" he chuckled with humor, but the heat on his face, the slight purse of his lips didn't make you find the comment funny, only wanting more.

"not my intention." you replied blankly, eyes scanning back down to his lips, as you brought him back with no hurry.

"damn." he mumbled to himself against your lips, your lips now becoming more intense — the mood now feeling more like love than anything else.

"yo james what the fuck are you doing in there?" a muffled voice was heard from behind the door, alongside with some harsh knocks, the loud noise forcefully making you two break the kiss.

"dude." he whispered, "this is dangerous love." he shook his head, his head falling to the crook of your neck.

"you better go otherwise we're gonna expose ourselves." you managed to let out, despite the fact that your face was flushed and the flyaways that were once up were now stuck to your forehead.

"at this point, i don't even care." he met your gaze, "hide in the shower, i'll leave first."

"yeah go help the drunk one out there otherwise she'll shove a cup into you too."

he shook his head with laughter, "i love you." he planted a kiss onto your cheek, before sliding off of you.

you watched him intently, "also keep the blonde it looks nice – really nice on you." you smiled, kicking your feet that hung off the counter, watching him clean himself off.

"wait did you just say i love you?"

ness ˎˊ˗ YOO JAMES WORK!! who cheered cause i did. the blonde hair got a hold on me for awhile and i was down to write something for him... i can't write anymore help me

© yuesning — all rights reserved. DO NOT translate, copy, or transfer my works to other sites. this is my only writing blog.

the thought of james and all of a sudden ran through your head, the composure that you usually have became undone and he had only walked through the door.

this wasn't the person who you thought you were.

"are you okay?"

you snapped back into your thoughts, eyes flashing wide open as you felt a hand grip onto your shoulder, "you almost fell there, let's take a break on drinking, yeah?" your friend rushed hurriedly, grabbing the cup from your hand and placing it back onto the counter.

"no i'm fine i just – i drank too fast, ill go back to the couch." you smiled innocently, like you weren't just stress sweating a minute ago. "okay but if this happens again, we're dipping out of here."

"i'm fine." you reached out of her grip, fixing your hair as you made your way towards the couch.

you stepped in slowly, trying to avoid contact with everyone — specifically james. you felt your heart pounding, as you walked to one of the empty spots on the couches and by mind you sat next to james without intent, but just because it's a habit.

you sighed, running your hands down your bare thighs from nerves, feeling the warmth of james right beside you.

james noticed the small movement, raising an eyebrow at your impulsive breathing and your hands slowly rubbing up and down your legs like you tried to hide your nerves with comfort.

"you okay?" he leaned down, whispering against your ear, eyeing the people beside him.

"yeah im okay," you replied quietly. you looked over towards him, scanning his face. james met your gaze, staring deeply into you, "then why are you nervous?" he teased, a smile coming across his face.

your eyebrows furrowed, "i'm not nervous."

james saw the flutter in your eyes, the breaking in your voice, your voice getting quieter as the sentence progressed. he already knew the reasoning behind all your actions.

he hummed, "i believe you." he leaned back on the couch, shamelessly letting an arm rest behind you.

you shut your eyes, your arms coming to a cross, your heart only beating faster and faster. you already knew this night wasn't going to last the way you anticipated.

you sat beside james the whole time, easing off with conversations between you and your own friends, zoning out into spaces, anything to try to get james off of your mind.

james did the same thing — like usual; made conversations with his own friends, but his arm still rested behind you like it was a normal friendship action to do. good thing nobody questioned about it.

you really thought your composure regained itself with the distractions, with the ignorance of his arm behind you — though his hand got closer to closer to your shoulder as time went on and you never noticed until you felt the warmth of his hand on your shoulder, his fingers grabbing around the blade of it.

nobody noticed it – most likely too immersed in the different topics that were thrown around the room, but you sure did. your breath hitched mid conversation with your friend, the same stuttering happening all over again.

james smirked to himself, feeling the glow of your skin get hotter by his gesture, but he continued on with his conversations, despite the tension only getting deeper internally.

you tried laughing it off, giggling at whatever your friend had just said, regardless if it was humorous or not, you just needed to distract yourself harder.

but his hand dragged down the sole of your shoulder, reaching down to your elbow, then raising it back up to your blade, resting it there once again.

you bit your lip, letting out a deep breath, as you removed your gaze from your friend.

her voice came to a stop, as you snapped your head towards her, nervous that she may have caught on. "are you okay?" she titled her head.

"yeah?" you replied, confused.

"oh you just looked away from me randomly, i thought something happened again." her lips slanted, worry written all over her face.

you looked at her dumbfounded, not sure if she was being sarcastic or if she was completely oblivious to the hand that was currently rubbing up and down on your arm.

"are you drunk?" you questioned.

"no?" she furrowed her eyebrows, "why would you think that?"

you looked at her up and down, "just - just continue. i'm listening."

"i'll just talk to you later." she rolled your eyes, "or i'll talk to someone else that won't look away from me mid conversation." she huffed out a breath, crossing her arms in the meantime.

you looked over to james, watching the way he scrolled on his phone. "what the fuck are you doing?" you leaned in closer, yelling out quietly.

he met your gaze, "i'm on my phone." he replied blankly, "what are you accusing me of?"

"look at where your hand is and tell me what i'm accusing you of?"

"i'm touching my girl?"

you closed your eyes, "look where we are. if someone sees this you're fucked."

"i don't think they know regardless." he looked around the room, "they're all drunk. also, your friend didn't even catch it. i could make out with you right now and nobody would know."

you rolled your eyes, smiling hard, blush seeping through your cheeks, "don't talk to me like that, you're already doing this."

he chuckled, "i can talk to you however i want cause i know you wouldn't mind."

your tongue met the inside of your cheek, scanning his face once again. you felt your breath becoming rapid, your stare getting lost into his face, words coming blank to your mind.

"i'm going back to the kitchen." your voice came out soft, shaking your head away from any thoughts getting further the more you looked at him.

he smiled, "i'll be waiting for you"

"please don't be." you joked, rushingly getting up from your seat, making your way over the ruckus on the floor.

james watched you as you walked away, both of his arms coming to the top of the couch.

you let a hand run down your forearm, letting out another deep breath that was held in for a long time. you swore that you were going to be out of oxygen as the night approached, he was making you feral by this point.

and he knew.

you arrive to the kitchen, immediately resting your hands on the counter as the breeze from the semi opened window right above the sink settled in, causing you to squint your eyes at the air.

you ran a hand through your hair, letting it sit for a bit before running it through completely, your mind completely bombarded.

his looks remained unchanged in your mind, he has always looked good but never this good to the point you felt feelings you never felt before.

you were always patient, always composed to everyone, nobody knew about your relationships simply because you knew how to handle one privately — but now, you fell like a whole different person.

he knew what he was doing, he knew how you felt and he just wanted to see how far you could go.

you heard shuffling come from behind you, soft footsteps approaching behind you. you looked up at the reflection of the window and your lips immediately came to a smirk, dipping your head back down to stare down at the marble.

he stared at the back of your head the whole time, now resting his back against the counter beside you as he now stared at your side profile.

he dipped his hands in the pockets of his sweats, "you're acting different than usual." he finally broke the silence, lowly.

"you know what you're doing james," you huffed out a breath, raising your head up to look over at him, "i know what you're doing." you added on.

"what am i doing?" he raised an eyebrow. "don't act stupid cause you never do this in front of people." you replied back in an argumentative tone.

"don't get messy with me." he replied sternly, watching your change in demeanor, "i don't like when you start arguing with me."

you remove your hands off the counter, moving closer to him before coming to a stop right in front of him.

his hands stayed flat against the counter, looking at you up and down, watching you carefully. his mind fought the urge to bring his hands towards you, but he wanted to see where you'd take this.

you brought your hands onto his lower stomach, gliding it up until it landed onto his collarbone, meeting his gaze.

he watched you deeply, "don't start this."

you smiled, "you started this." you titled your head, bringing obvious tease onto the scene.

his heart fluttered, letting out a breathy chuckle. he finally brought his hands onto your waist, bringing you in closer until both of your chests glued together, "but i don't like when you do it."

you pouted sarcastically, your hands sliding up to his cheeks, bringing his face closer.

he immediately looked down to your lips, then back to your eyes. he chuckled once again, with a shake of his head, rising his head up a bit, "you're fucking crazy."

"how am i crazy?" you smiled. he licked his lips, heaving a breath, "you're doing this to me knowing that there's people out there."

you hummed, "now you know how i feel." you nodded slowly, "but you're only saying that because you know i won."

"won wh –"

you brought his face back down, planting a quick, lingering kiss onto his lips. you pulled back smiling, and he chased to meet your lips again, but your head retracted back before he could.

"don't get ahead of yourself, maybe someone's watching." you laughed, sliding his hands off of you. you turned on your heels, now leaving him to sulk in the kitchen.

he tried to reach out for your arm, but your legs were faster than him. he placed both of his hands back onto the counter, throwing his head back with a small smile.

you made your way back to the living room , scanning the scene; everyone got worse, multiple cups stacked onto the table, some of them sleeping on the floor — it was a mess.

you stopped in your tracks when you felt a sudden spark reappear in your stomach as your eyes gazed over the spot you and james sat in prior, now empty, yearning for your name.

your mind replayed the moment that happened seconds ago, the shift in tension, the closeness, his stare, his presence — the confidence you had before, is now gone.

you moved forward into the room, grabbing your car keys off of the coffee table.

"where are you going?" one of the boys asked, sitting up straight like you leaving was the end of the world. "home?" you squinted your eyes.

they groaned, "it's only like ten pm though."

"yeah and i'm going home." you rolled your eyes, brushing your top, getting ready to head to the enterance.

"no you're not." you heard a voice call out, the room falling silent. you turned around, only to meet james standing right by the couch.

oh's, flooded around the room, some of them trying to hold in their laughter at the sudden remark from james after being quiet for so long.

"he's serious too." one of his friends added intently, too engaged in the sudden change of tension.

you rolled your eyes once more, "i'm going home."

"why?" james questioned.

your mind froze, searching for an excuse, "i'm tired and i have a cat to feed." you turned back around, ready to head out.

"no don't go home!" one of your friends picked herself up from the couch, running straight to your arms, indulging you into a tight hug, "you can't go.." she mumbled into the crook of your neck, the cup in her hand only getting deeper and deeper into your stomach at that point.

"you're so fucking drunk." you patted her back, laughing while trying to pull back but she only emerged forward after every movement, pain now striking in, "your cup..." you said softly, panic scattering your body.

everyone rised up from the couch as they saw your expression shift to panic, trying to remove her from the scene.

"i told you to hold her down, she's so drunk." one of the other girls yelled out to the guy that sat beside her. "she left me!" he yelled back.

you opened your eyes, catching james in the corner of your eye, standing there almost like he was admiring the scene. "you going to help or what dude?" you yelled out loud.

"your girl is calling for you bro." one of his friends teased, patting his shoulder as he dragged the girl back onto the couch.

you stare wide eyed between the two of them, your eyebrows furrowing as your chest heaved up and down, "what the fuck is wrong with you." you yelled out, grabbing your stomach in the process.

"this is why im leaving, all of you guys are a mess." you turned on your heels but instead of rushing to the enternace you settled yourself into the bathroom that was down the hall.

you weren't even in pain anymore, it was more fury than anything. you knew the relationship was secretive but you had just gotten hurt and he had stood there in awe the whole time.

it got to you when you realized his own friends cared more about you than him and it genuinely upsetted you and that almost made him become fully erased from your mind – just like what happened in the kitchen scene.

you planted your car keys onto the counter, flatting the top of your hair down, fixing the flyaways as it got progressively messier when they tried removing your friend.

"what the hell bro?" you whispered to yourself, trying to fix anything that had gotten ruin physically.

the door suddenly opened, leading your movements to a halt.

"listen –" the sudden entry started.

you groaned deeply, "there's no listen. get out." you faced toward the door, peaking through the creek of the opened door, "please leave me alone." you whined when you realized who it was.

he didn't listen, instead he opened the door further, making you push away from it, leaving no room to push him away any farther.

"i know you're mad at me." he whispered, closing the door behind him. "of course i'm mad at you, you didn't even protect me."

"i didn't know what to do. and you know how she is, she's crazy." his tone remained calm, the lack of anger laced in his voice,

"still, it was a whole glass cup and you stood there." you sighed in disbelief.

"realistically, everyone was already up to help you –"

"but i wanted you to help me." you cut him off, slightly harsh.

he sighed, fingers running through his hair.

just by that moment, you felt the anger flush away within a second, your eyes beaming into him, erasing your thoughts completely.

you sighed back — not from disbelief of the situation this time, but more so from the same feeling you had felt earlier when he entered.

the new look, the way his whole persona changed just by a small detail. it almost made you not want to argue anymore – the feeling fuming its way back into you once again,

"i don't like how you're acting today." you crossed your arms, "you never, ever do this during a group hangout. it's like you dyed your hair and knew how i was going to act."

"or maybe you put a spell on me." you added on.

he laughed, stepping closer to you, "that's exactly it. i just know you so well."

"is this really the day you want us to expose – our whatever we have – to everyone in this house right now?"

"well that depends on how obvious you make it."

you rolled your eyes, arms coming down to your side in defeat, "you made it more obvious than me."

"i just wanted to show you some love." he mumbled, stepping even more closer, watching you with a look that made your heart beat fast.

"stop," your lips forming into a slight pout that eventually turned into a smile.

he chuckled, not even bothering with a reply as he brought a hand to your waist and the other one on your chin, bringing your face closer to his.

you looked in between his lips and his stare, sweat bawling up on the palm of your hands, your nervous system getting intense, the heat now running through your body.

your brought your hands up to the back of his neck, unintentionally bringing his face even closer to your own, lips only inches away from being touched.

"i knew you weren't going to stay angry at me." he mumbled, his breath fanning your lips. "shut up." you whispered, as you were the one who finally closed the distance.

his lips immediately took charge, the hand that was on your chin fell down to the other side of your waist, pulling you in even closer.

it was the usual soft kiss he always gave you, the passionate one that went on for hours and never got too intense — the one that screamed the patience you had for each other, never rushing the moment.

he titled his head, bring you in deeper into the kiss. your hands glided to his chest, soft breathing filling up the room.

the sound of chatter, the sound of bottles clinking, the sound of the hum from the tv fell into the back of your mind as it remained on james, feeding into the moment.

it seemed like the same way for him as he slowly controlled the kiss more intensely; his hand moving to the sole of your back, rubbing up and down, as the other reached the back of your thigh.

you caught onto the signal as your legs wrapped around his waist. he guided you onto the counter in a swift motion, both of his hands landing back onto your waist as you sat down on the edge of the marble.

your arms wrapped around his neck, shoving him deeper into the kiss to the point where he was hovering over you on top of the counter, the back of your head almost meeting the backsplash on the wall.

he broke away from the kiss, his breath still heavy on you, "you trying to make me sit up here with you or something?" he chuckled with humor, but the heat on his face, the slight purse of his lips didn't make you find the comment funny, only wanting more.

"not my intention." you replied blankly, eyes scanning back down to his lips, as you brought him back with no hurry.

"damn." he mumbled to himself against your lips, your lips now becoming more intense — the mood now feeling more like love than anything else.

"yo james what the fuck are you doing in there?" a muffled voice was heard from behind the door, alongside with some harsh knocks, the loud noise forcefully making you two break the kiss.

"dude." he whispered, "this is dangerous love." he shook his head, his head falling to the crook of your neck.

"you better go otherwise we're gonna expose ourselves." you managed to let out, despite the fact that your face was flushed and the flyaways that were once up were now stuck to your forehead.

"at this point, i don't even care." he met your gaze, "hide in the shower, i'll leave first."

"yeah go help the drunk one out there otherwise she'll shove a cup into you too."

he shook his head with laughter, "i love you." he planted a kiss onto your cheek, before sliding off of you.

you watched him intently, "also keep the blonde it looks nice – really nice on you." you smiled, kicking your feet that hung off the counter, watching him clean himself off.

"wait did you just say i love you?"

ness ˎˊ˗ YOO JAMES WORK!! who cheered cause i did. the blonde hair got a hold on me for awhile and i was down to write something for him... i can't write anymore help me

© yuesning — all rights reserved. DO NOT translate, copy, or transfer my works to other sites. this is my only writing blog.

the thought of james and all of a sudden ran through your head, the composure that you usually have became undone and he had only walked through the door.

this wasn't the person who you thought you were.

"are you okay?"

you snapped back into your thoughts, eyes flashing wide open as you felt a hand grip onto your shoulder, "you almost fell there, let's take a break on drinking, yeah?" your friend rushed hurriedly, grabbing the cup from your hand and placing it back onto the counter.

"no i'm fine i just – i drank too fast, ill go back to the couch." you smiled innocently, like you weren't just stress sweating a minute ago. "okay but if this happens again, we're dipping out of here."

"i'm fine." you reached out of her grip, fixing your hair as you made your way towards the couch.

you stepped in slowly, trying to avoid contact with everyone — specifically james. you felt your heart pounding, as you walked to one of the empty spots on the couches and by mind you sat next to james without intent, but just because it's a habit.

you sighed, running your hands down your bare thighs from nerves, feeling the warmth of james right beside you.

james noticed the small movement, raising an eyebrow at your impulsive breathing and your hands slowly rubbing up and down your legs like you tried to hide your nerves with comfort.

"you okay?" he leaned down, whispering against your ear, eyeing the people beside him.

"yeah im okay," you replied quietly. you looked over towards him, scanning his face. james met your gaze, staring deeply into you, "then why are you nervous?" he teased, a smile coming across his face.

your eyebrows furrowed, "i'm not nervous."

james saw the flutter in your eyes, the breaking in your voice, your voice getting quieter as the sentence progressed. he already knew the reasoning behind all your actions.

he hummed, "i believe you." he leaned back on the couch, shamelessly letting an arm rest behind you.

you shut your eyes, your arms coming to a cross, your heart only beating faster and faster. you already knew this night wasn't going to last the way you anticipated.

you sat beside james the whole time, easing off with conversations between you and your own friends, zoning out into spaces, anything to try to get james off of your mind.

james did the same thing — like usual; made conversations with his own friends, but his arm still rested behind you like it was a normal friendship action to do. good thing nobody questioned about it.

you really thought your composure regained itself with the distractions, with the ignorance of his arm behind you — though his hand got closer to closer to your shoulder as time went on and you never noticed until you felt the warmth of his hand on your shoulder, his fingers grabbing around the blade of it.

nobody noticed it – most likely too immersed in the different topics that were thrown around the room, but you sure did. your breath hitched mid conversation with your friend, the same stuttering happening all over again.

james smirked to himself, feeling the glow of your skin get hotter by his gesture, but he continued on with his conversations, despite the tension only getting deeper internally.

you tried laughing it off, giggling at whatever your friend had just said, regardless if it was humorous or not, you just needed to distract yourself harder.

but his hand dragged down the sole of your shoulder, reaching down to your elbow, then raising it back up to your blade, resting it there once again.

you bit your lip, letting out a deep breath, as you removed your gaze from your friend.

her voice came to a stop, as you snapped your head towards her, nervous that she may have caught on. "are you okay?" she titled her head.

"yeah?" you replied, confused.

"oh you just looked away from me randomly, i thought something happened again." her lips slanted, worry written all over her face.

you looked at her dumbfounded, not sure if she was being sarcastic or if she was completely oblivious to the hand that was currently rubbing up and down on your arm.

"are you drunk?" you questioned.

"no?" she furrowed her eyebrows, "why would you think that?"

you looked at her up and down, "just - just continue. i'm listening."

"i'll just talk to you later." she rolled your eyes, "or i'll talk to someone else that won't look away from me mid conversation." she huffed out a breath, crossing her arms in the meantime.

you looked over to james, watching the way he scrolled on his phone. "what the fuck are you doing?" you leaned in closer, yelling out quietly.

he met your gaze, "i'm on my phone." he replied blankly, "what are you accusing me of?"

"look at where your hand is and tell me what i'm accusing you of?"

"i'm touching my girl?"

you closed your eyes, "look where we are. if someone sees this you're fucked."

"i don't think they know regardless." he looked around the room, "they're all drunk. also, your friend didn't even catch it. i could make out with you right now and nobody would know."

you rolled your eyes, smiling hard, blush seeping through your cheeks, "don't talk to me like that, you're already doing this."

he chuckled, "i can talk to you however i want cause i know you wouldn't mind."

your tongue met the inside of your cheek, scanning his face once again. you felt your breath becoming rapid, your stare getting lost into his face, words coming blank to your mind.

"i'm going back to the kitchen." your voice came out soft, shaking your head away from any thoughts getting further the more you looked at him.

he smiled, "i'll be waiting for you"

"please don't be." you joked, rushingly getting up from your seat, making your way over the ruckus on the floor.

james watched you as you walked away, both of his arms coming to the top of the couch.

you let a hand run down your forearm, letting out another deep breath that was held in for a long time. you swore that you were going to be out of oxygen as the night approached, he was making you feral by this point.

and he knew.

you arrive to the kitchen, immediately resting your hands on the counter as the breeze from the semi opened window right above the sink settled in, causing you to squint your eyes at the air.

you ran a hand through your hair, letting it sit for a bit before running it through completely, your mind completely bombarded.

his looks remained unchanged in your mind, he has always looked good but never this good to the point you felt feelings you never felt before.

you were always patient, always composed to everyone, nobody knew about your relationships simply because you knew how to handle one privately — but now, you fell like a whole different person.

he knew what he was doing, he knew how you felt and he just wanted to see how far you could go.

you heard shuffling come from behind you, soft footsteps approaching behind you. you looked up at the reflection of the window and your lips immediately came to a smirk, dipping your head back down to stare down at the marble.

he stared at the back of your head the whole time, now resting his back against the counter beside you as he now stared at your side profile.

he dipped his hands in the pockets of his sweats, "you're acting different than usual." he finally broke the silence, lowly.

"you know what you're doing james," you huffed out a breath, raising your head up to look over at him, "i know what you're doing." you added on.

"what am i doing?" he raised an eyebrow. "don't act stupid cause you never do this in front of people." you replied back in an argumentative tone.

"don't get messy with me." he replied sternly, watching your change in demeanor, "i don't like when you start arguing with me."

you remove your hands off the counter, moving closer to him before coming to a stop right in front of him.

his hands stayed flat against the counter, looking at you up and down, watching you carefully. his mind fought the urge to bring his hands towards you, but he wanted to see where you'd take this.

you brought your hands onto his lower stomach, gliding it up until it landed onto his collarbone, meeting his gaze.

he watched you deeply, "don't start this."

you smiled, "you started this." you titled your head, bringing obvious tease onto the scene.

his heart fluttered, letting out a breathy chuckle. he finally brought his hands onto your waist, bringing you in closer until both of your chests glued together, "but i don't like when you do it."

you pouted sarcastically, your hands sliding up to his cheeks, bringing his face closer.

he immediately looked down to your lips, then back to your eyes. he chuckled once again, with a shake of his head, rising his head up a bit, "you're fucking crazy."

"how am i crazy?" you smiled. he licked his lips, heaving a breath, "you're doing this to me knowing that there's people out there."

you hummed, "now you know how i feel." you nodded slowly, "but you're only saying that because you know i won."

"won wh –"

you brought his face back down, planting a quick, lingering kiss onto his lips. you pulled back smiling, and he chased to meet your lips again, but your head retracted back before he could.

"don't get ahead of yourself, maybe someone's watching." you laughed, sliding his hands off of you. you turned on your heels, now leaving him to sulk in the kitchen.

he tried to reach out for your arm, but your legs were faster than him. he placed both of his hands back onto the counter, throwing his head back with a small smile.

you made your way back to the living room , scanning the scene; everyone got worse, multiple cups stacked onto the table, some of them sleeping on the floor — it was a mess.

you stopped in your tracks when you felt a sudden spark reappear in your stomach as your eyes gazed over the spot you and james sat in prior, now empty, yearning for your name.

your mind replayed the moment that happened seconds ago, the shift in tension, the closeness, his stare, his presence — the confidence you had before, is now gone.

you moved forward into the room, grabbing your car keys off of the coffee table.

"where are you going?" one of the boys asked, sitting up straight like you leaving was the end of the world. "home?" you squinted your eyes.

they groaned, "it's only like ten pm though."

"yeah and i'm going home." you rolled your eyes, brushing your top, getting ready to head to the enterance.

"no you're not." you heard a voice call out, the room falling silent. you turned around, only to meet james standing right by the couch.

oh's, flooded around the room, some of them trying to hold in their laughter at the sudden remark from james after being quiet for so long.

"he's serious too." one of his friends added intently, too engaged in the sudden change of tension.

you rolled your eyes once more, "i'm going home."

"why?" james questioned.

your mind froze, searching for an excuse, "i'm tired and i have a cat to feed." you turned back around, ready to head out.

"no don't go home!" one of your friends picked herself up from the couch, running straight to your arms, indulging you into a tight hug, "you can't go.." she mumbled into the crook of your neck, the cup in her hand only getting deeper and deeper into your stomach at that point.

"you're so fucking drunk." you patted her back, laughing while trying to pull back but she only emerged forward after every movement, pain now striking in, "your cup..." you said softly, panic scattering your body.

everyone rised up from the couch as they saw your expression shift to panic, trying to remove her from the scene.

"i told you to hold her down, she's so drunk." one of the other girls yelled out to the guy that sat beside her. "she left me!" he yelled back.

you opened your eyes, catching james in the corner of your eye, standing there almost like he was admiring the scene. "you going to help or what dude?" you yelled out loud.

"your girl is calling for you bro." one of his friends teased, patting his shoulder as he dragged the girl back onto the couch.

you stare wide eyed between the two of them, your eyebrows furrowing as your chest heaved up and down, "what the fuck is wrong with you." you yelled out, grabbing your stomach in the process.

"this is why im leaving, all of you guys are a mess." you turned on your heels but instead of rushing to the enternace you settled yourself into the bathroom that was down the hall.

you weren't even in pain anymore, it was more fury than anything. you knew the relationship was secretive but you had just gotten hurt and he had stood there in awe the whole time.

it got to you when you realized his own friends cared more about you than him and it genuinely upsetted you and that almost made him become fully erased from your mind – just like what happened in the kitchen scene.

you planted your car keys onto the counter, flatting the top of your hair down, fixing the flyaways as it got progressively messier when they tried removing your friend.

"what the hell bro?" you whispered to yourself, trying to fix anything that had gotten ruin physically.

the door suddenly opened, leading your movements to a halt.

"listen –" the sudden entry started.

you groaned deeply, "there's no listen. get out." you faced toward the door, peaking through the creek of the opened door, "please leave me alone." you whined when you realized who it was.

he didn't listen, instead he opened the door further, making you push away from it, leaving no room to push him away any farther.

"i know you're mad at me." he whispered, closing the door behind him. "of course i'm mad at you, you didn't even protect me."

"i didn't know what to do. and you know how she is, she's crazy." his tone remained calm, the lack of anger laced in his voice,

"still, it was a whole glass cup and you stood there." you sighed in disbelief.

"realistically, everyone was already up to help you –"

"but i wanted you to help me." you cut him off, slightly harsh.

he sighed, fingers running through his hair.

just by that moment, you felt the anger flush away within a second, your eyes beaming into him, erasing your thoughts completely.

you sighed back — not from disbelief of the situation this time, but more so from the same feeling you had felt earlier when he entered.

the new look, the way his whole persona changed just by a small detail. it almost made you not want to argue anymore – the feeling fuming its way back into you once again,

"i don't like how you're acting today." you crossed your arms, "you never, ever do this during a group hangout. it's like you dyed your hair and knew how i was going to act."

"or maybe you put a spell on me." you added on.

he laughed, stepping closer to you, "that's exactly it. i just know you so well."

"is this really the day you want us to expose – our whatever we have – to everyone in this house right now?"

"well that depends on how obvious you make it."

you rolled your eyes, arms coming down to your side in defeat, "you made it more obvious than me."

"i just wanted to show you some love." he mumbled, stepping even more closer, watching you with a look that made your heart beat fast.

"stop," your lips forming into a slight pout that eventually turned into a smile.

he chuckled, not even bothering with a reply as he brought a hand to your waist and the other one on your chin, bringing your face closer to his.

you looked in between his lips and his stare, sweat bawling up on the palm of your hands, your nervous system getting intense, the heat now running through your body.

your brought your hands up to the back of his neck, unintentionally bringing his face even closer to your own, lips only inches away from being touched.

"i knew you weren't going to stay angry at me." he mumbled, his breath fanning your lips. "shut up." you whispered, as you were the one who finally closed the distance.

his lips immediately took charge, the hand that was on your chin fell down to the other side of your waist, pulling you in even closer.

it was the usual soft kiss he always gave you, the passionate one that went on for hours and never got too intense — the one that screamed the patience you had for each other, never rushing the moment.

he titled his head, bring you in deeper into the kiss. your hands glided to his chest, soft breathing filling up the room.

the sound of chatter, the sound of bottles clinking, the sound of the hum from the tv fell into the back of your mind as it remained on james, feeding into the moment.

it seemed like the same way for him as he slowly controlled the kiss more intensely; his hand moving to the sole of your back, rubbing up and down, as the other reached the back of your thigh.

you caught onto the signal as your legs wrapped around his waist. he guided you onto the counter in a swift motion, both of his hands landing back onto your waist as you sat down on the edge of the marble.

your arms wrapped around his neck, shoving him deeper into the kiss to the point where he was hovering over you on top of the counter, the back of your head almost meeting the backsplash on the wall.

he broke away from the kiss, his breath still heavy on you, "you trying to make me sit up here with you or something?" he chuckled with humor, but the heat on his face, the slight purse of his lips didn't make you find the comment funny, only wanting more.

"not my intention." you replied blankly, eyes scanning back down to his lips, as you brought him back with no hurry.

"damn." he mumbled to himself against your lips, your lips now becoming more intense — the mood now feeling more like love than anything else.

"yo james what the fuck are you doing in there?" a muffled voice was heard from behind the door, alongside with some harsh knocks, the loud noise forcefully making you two break the kiss.

"dude." he whispered, "this is dangerous love." he shook his head, his head falling to the crook of your neck.

"you better go otherwise we're gonna expose ourselves." you managed to let out, despite the fact that your face was flushed and the flyaways that were once up were now stuck to your forehead.

"at this point, i don't even care." he met your gaze, "hide in the shower, i'll leave first."

"yeah go help the drunk one out there otherwise she'll shove a cup into you too."

he shook his head with laughter, "i love you." he planted a kiss onto your cheek, before sliding off of you.

you watched him intently, "also keep the blonde it looks nice – really nice on you." you smiled, kicking your feet that hung off the counter, watching him clean himself off.

"wait did you just say i love you?"

ness ˎˊ˗ YOO JAMES WORK!! who cheered cause i did. the blonde hair got a hold on me for awhile and i was down to write something for him... i can't write anymore help me

© yuesning — all rights reserved. DO NOT translate, copy, or transfer my works to other sites. this is my only writing blog.

the thought of james and all of a sudden ran through your head, the composure that you usually have became undone and he had only walked through the door.

this wasn't the person who you thought you were.

"are you okay?"

you snapped back into your thoughts, eyes flashing wide open as you felt a hand grip onto your shoulder, "you almost fell there, let's take a break on drinking, yeah?" your friend rushed hurriedly, grabbing the cup from your hand and placing it back onto the counter.

"no i'm fine i just – i drank too fast, ill go back to the couch." you smiled innocently, like you weren't just stress sweating a minute ago. "okay but if this happens again, we're dipping out of here."

"i'm fine." you reached out of her grip, fixing your hair as you made your way towards the couch.

you stepped in slowly, trying to avoid contact with everyone — specifically james. you felt your heart pounding, as you walked to one of the empty spots on the couches and by mind you sat next to james without intent, but just because it's a habit.

you sighed, running your hands down your bare thighs from nerves, feeling the warmth of james right beside you.

james noticed the small movement, raising an eyebrow at your impulsive breathing and your hands slowly rubbing up and down your legs like you tried to hide your nerves with comfort.

"you okay?" he leaned down, whispering against your ear, eyeing the people beside him.

"yeah im okay," you replied quietly. you looked over towards him, scanning his face. james met your gaze, staring deeply into you, "then why are you nervous?" he teased, a smile coming across his face.

your eyebrows furrowed, "i'm not nervous."

james saw the flutter in your eyes, the breaking in your voice, your voice getting quieter as the sentence progressed. he already knew the reasoning behind all your actions.

he hummed, "i believe you." he leaned back on the couch, shamelessly letting an arm rest behind you.

you shut your eyes, your arms coming to a cross, your heart only beating faster and faster. you already knew this night wasn't going to last the way you anticipated.

you sat beside james the whole time, easing off with conversations between you and your own friends, zoning out into spaces, anything to try to get james off of your mind.

james did the same thing — like usual; made conversations with his own friends, but his arm still rested behind you like it was a normal friendship action to do. good thing nobody questioned about it.

you really thought your composure regained itself with the distractions, with the ignorance of his arm behind you — though his hand got closer to closer to your shoulder as time went on and you never noticed until you felt the warmth of his hand on your shoulder, his fingers grabbing around the blade of it.

nobody noticed it – most likely too immersed in the different topics that were thrown around the room, but you sure did. your breath hitched mid conversation with your friend, the same stuttering happening all over again.

james smirked to himself, feeling the glow of your skin get hotter by his gesture, but he continued on with his conversations, despite the tension only getting deeper internally.

you tried laughing it off, giggling at whatever your friend had just said, regardless if it was humorous or not, you just needed to distract yourself harder.

but his hand dragged down the sole of your shoulder, reaching down to your elbow, then raising it back up to your blade, resting it there once again.

you bit your lip, letting out a deep breath, as you removed your gaze from your friend.

her voice came to a stop, as you snapped your head towards her, nervous that she may have caught on. "are you okay?" she titled her head.

"yeah?" you replied, confused.

"oh you just looked away from me randomly, i thought something happened again." her lips slanted, worry written all over her face.

you looked at her dumbfounded, not sure if she was being sarcastic or if she was completely oblivious to the hand that was currently rubbing up and down on your arm.

"are you drunk?" you questioned.

"no?" she furrowed her eyebrows, "why would you think that?"

you looked at her up and down, "just - just continue. i'm listening."

"i'll just talk to you later." she rolled your eyes, "or i'll talk to someone else that won't look away from me mid conversation." she huffed out a breath, crossing her arms in the meantime.

you looked over to james, watching the way he scrolled on his phone. "what the fuck are you doing?" you leaned in closer, yelling out quietly.

he met your gaze, "i'm on my phone." he replied blankly, "what are you accusing me of?"

"look at where your hand is and tell me what i'm accusing you of?"

"i'm touching my girl?"

you closed your eyes, "look where we are. if someone sees this you're fucked."

"i don't think they know regardless." he looked around the room, "they're all drunk. also, your friend didn't even catch it. i could make out with you right now and nobody would know."

you rolled your eyes, smiling hard, blush seeping through your cheeks, "don't talk to me like that, you're already doing this."

he chuckled, "i can talk to you however i want cause i know you wouldn't mind."

your tongue met the inside of your cheek, scanning his face once again. you felt your breath becoming rapid, your stare getting lost into his face, words coming blank to your mind.

"i'm going back to the kitchen." your voice came out soft, shaking your head away from any thoughts getting further the more you looked at him.

he smiled, "i'll be waiting for you"

"please don't be." you joked, rushingly getting up from your seat, making your way over the ruckus on the floor.

james watched you as you walked away, both of his arms coming to the top of the couch.

you let a hand run down your forearm, letting out another deep breath that was held in for a long time. you swore that you were going to be out of oxygen as the night approached, he was making you feral by this point.

and he knew.

you arrive to the kitchen, immediately resting your hands on the counter as the breeze from the semi opened window right above the sink settled in, causing you to squint your eyes at the air.

you ran a hand through your hair, letting it sit for a bit before running it through completely, your mind completely bombarded.

his looks remained unchanged in your mind, he has always looked good but never this good to the point you felt feelings you never felt before.

you were always patient, always composed to everyone, nobody knew about your relationships simply because you knew how to handle one privately — but now, you fell like a whole different person.

he knew what he was doing, he knew how you felt and he just wanted to see how far you could go.

you heard shuffling come from behind you, soft footsteps approaching behind you. you looked up at the reflection of the window and your lips immediately came to a smirk, dipping your head back down to stare down at the marble.

he stared at the back of your head the whole time, now resting his back against the counter beside you as he now stared at your side profile.

he dipped his hands in the pockets of his sweats, "you're acting different than usual." he finally broke the silence, lowly.

"you know what you're doing james," you huffed out a breath, raising your head up to look over at him, "i know what you're doing." you added on.

"what am i doing?" he raised an eyebrow. "don't act stupid cause you never do this in front of people." you replied back in an argumentative tone.

"don't get messy with me." he replied sternly, watching your change in demeanor, "i don't like when you start arguing with me."

you remove your hands off the counter, moving closer to him before coming to a stop right in front of him.

his hands stayed flat against the counter, looking at you up and down, watching you carefully. his mind fought the urge to bring his hands towards you, but he wanted to see where you'd take this.

you brought your hands onto his lower stomach, gliding it up until it landed onto his collarbone, meeting his gaze.

he watched you deeply, "don't start this."

you smiled, "you started this." you titled your head, bringing obvious tease onto the scene.

his heart fluttered, letting out a breathy chuckle. he finally brought his hands onto your waist, bringing you in closer until both of your chests glued together, "but i don't like when you do it."

you pouted sarcastically, your hands sliding up to his cheeks, bringing his face closer.

he immediately looked down to your lips, then back to your eyes. he chuckled once again, with a shake of his head, rising his head up a bit, "you're fucking crazy."

"how am i crazy?" you smiled. he licked his lips, heaving a breath, "you're doing this to me knowing that there's people out there."

you hummed, "now you know how i feel." you nodded slowly, "but you're only saying that because you know i won."

"won wh –"

you brought his face back down, planting a quick, lingering kiss onto his lips. you pulled back smiling, and he chased to meet your lips again, but your head retracted back before he could.

"don't get ahead of yourself, maybe someone's watching." you laughed, sliding his hands off of you. you turned on your heels, now leaving him to sulk in the kitchen.

he tried to reach out for your arm, but your legs were faster than him. he placed both of his hands back onto the counter, throwing his head back with a small smile.

you made your way back to the living room , scanning the scene; everyone got worse, multiple cups stacked onto the table, some of them sleeping on the floor — it was a mess.

you stopped in your tracks when you felt a sudden spark reappear in your stomach as your eyes gazed over the spot you and james sat in prior, now empty, yearning for your name.

your mind replayed the moment that happened seconds ago, the shift in tension, the closeness, his stare, his presence — the confidence you had before, is now gone.

you moved forward into the room, grabbing your car keys off of the coffee table.

"where are you going?" one of the boys asked, sitting up straight like you leaving was the end of the world. "home?" you squinted your eyes.

they groaned, "it's only like ten pm though."

"yeah and i'm going home." you rolled your eyes, brushing your top, getting ready to head to the enterance.

"no you're not." you heard a voice call out, the room falling silent. you turned around, only to meet james standing right by the couch.

oh's, flooded around the room, some of them trying to hold in their laughter at the sudden remark from james after being quiet for so long.

"he's serious too." one of his friends added intently, too engaged in the sudden change of tension.

you rolled your eyes once more, "i'm going home."

"why?" james questioned.

your mind froze, searching for an excuse, "i'm tired and i have a cat to feed." you turned back around, ready to head out.

"no don't go home!" one of your friends picked herself up from the couch, running straight to your arms, indulging you into a tight hug, "you can't go.." she mumbled into the crook of your neck, the cup in her hand only getting deeper and deeper into your stomach at that point.

"you're so fucking drunk." you patted her back, laughing while trying to pull back but she only emerged forward after every movement, pain now striking in, "your cup..." you said softly, panic scattering your body.

everyone rised up from the couch as they saw your expression shift to panic, trying to remove her from the scene.

"i told you to hold her down, she's so drunk." one of the other girls yelled out to the guy that sat beside her. "she left me!" he yelled back.

you opened your eyes, catching james in the corner of your eye, standing there almost like he was admiring the scene. "you going to help or what dude?" you yelled out loud.

"your girl is calling for you bro." one of his friends teased, patting his shoulder as he dragged the girl back onto the couch.

you stare wide eyed between the two of them, your eyebrows furrowing as your chest heaved up and down, "what the fuck is wrong with you." you yelled out, grabbing your stomach in the process.

"this is why im leaving, all of you guys are a mess." you turned on your heels but instead of rushing to the enternace you settled yourself into the bathroom that was down the hall.

you weren't even in pain anymore, it was more fury than anything. you knew the relationship was secretive but you had just gotten hurt and he had stood there in awe the whole time.

it got to you when you realized his own friends cared more about you than him and it genuinely upsetted you and that almost made him become fully erased from your mind – just like what happened in the kitchen scene.

you planted your car keys onto the counter, flatting the top of your hair down, fixing the flyaways as it got progressively messier when they tried removing your friend.

"what the hell bro?" you whispered to yourself, trying to fix anything that had gotten ruin physically.

the door suddenly opened, leading your movements to a halt.

"listen –" the sudden entry started.

you groaned deeply, "there's no listen. get out." you faced toward the door, peaking through the creek of the opened door, "please leave me alone." you whined when you realized who it was.

he didn't listen, instead he opened the door further, making you push away from it, leaving no room to push him away any farther.

"i know you're mad at me." he whispered, closing the door behind him. "of course i'm mad at you, you didn't even protect me."

"i didn't know what to do. and you know how she is, she's crazy." his tone remained calm, the lack of anger laced in his voice,

"still, it was a whole glass cup and you stood there." you sighed in disbelief.

"realistically, everyone was already up to help you –"

"but i wanted you to help me." you cut him off, slightly harsh.

he sighed, fingers running through his hair.

just by that moment, you felt the anger flush away within a second, your eyes beaming into him, erasing your thoughts completely.

you sighed back — not from disbelief of the situation this time, but more so from the same feeling you had felt earlier when he entered.

the new look, the way his whole persona changed just by a small detail. it almost made you not want to argue anymore – the feeling fuming its way back into you once again,

"i don't like how you're acting today." you crossed your arms, "you never, ever do this during a group hangout. it's like you dyed your hair and knew how i was going to act."

"or maybe you put a spell on me." you added on.

he laughed, stepping closer to you, "that's exactly it. i just know you so well."

"is this really the day you want us to expose – our whatever we have – to everyone in this house right now?"

"well that depends on how obvious you make it."

you rolled your eyes, arms coming down to your side in defeat, "you made it more obvious than me."

"i just wanted to show you some love." he mumbled, stepping even more closer, watching you with a look that made your heart beat fast.

"stop," your lips forming into a slight pout that eventually turned into a smile.

he chuckled, not even bothering with a reply as he brought a hand to your waist and the other one on your chin, bringing your face closer to his.

you looked in between his lips and his stare, sweat bawling up on the palm of your hands, your nervous system getting intense, the heat now running through your body.

your brought your hands up to the back of his neck, unintentionally bringing his face even closer to your own, lips only inches away from being touched.

"i knew you weren't going to stay angry at me." he mumbled, his breath fanning your lips. "shut up." you whispered, as you were the one who finally closed the distance.

his lips immediately took charge, the hand that was on your chin fell down to the other side of your waist, pulling you in even closer.

it was the usual soft kiss he always gave you, the passionate one that went on for hours and never got too intense — the one that screamed the patience you had for each other, never rushing the moment.

he titled his head, bring you in deeper into the kiss. your hands glided to his chest, soft breathing filling up the room.

the sound of chatter, the sound of bottles clinking, the sound of the hum from the tv fell into the back of your mind as it remained on james, feeding into the moment.

it seemed like the same way for him as he slowly controlled the kiss more intensely; his hand moving to the sole of your back, rubbing up and down, as the other reached the back of your thigh.

you caught onto the signal as your legs wrapped around his waist. he guided you onto the counter in a swift motion, both of his hands landing back onto your waist as you sat down on the edge of the marble.

your arms wrapped around his neck, shoving him deeper into the kiss to the point where he was hovering over you on top of the counter, the back of your head almost meeting the backsplash on the wall.

he broke away from the kiss, his breath still heavy on you, "you trying to make me sit up here with you or something?" he chuckled with humor, but the heat on his face, the slight purse of his lips didn't make you find the comment funny, only wanting more.

"not my intention." you replied blankly, eyes scanning back down to his lips, as you brought him back with no hurry.

"damn." he mumbled to himself against your lips, your lips now becoming more intense — the mood now feeling more like love than anything else.

"yo james what the fuck are you doing in there?" a muffled voice was heard from behind the door, alongside with some harsh knocks, the loud noise forcefully making you two break the kiss.

"dude." he whispered, "this is dangerous love." he shook his head, his head falling to the crook of your neck.

"you better go otherwise we're gonna expose ourselves." you managed to let out, despite the fact that your face was flushed and the flyaways that were once up were now stuck to your forehead.

"at this point, i don't even care." he met your gaze, "hide in the shower, i'll leave first."

"yeah go help the drunk one out there otherwise she'll shove a cup into you too."

he shook his head with laughter, "i love you." he planted a kiss onto your cheek, before sliding off of you.

you watched him intently, "also keep the blonde it looks nice – really nice on you." you smiled, kicking your feet that hung off the counter, watching him clean himself off.

"wait did you just say i love you?"

ness ˎˊ˗ YOO JAMES WORK!! who cheered cause i did. the blonde hair got a hold on me for awhile and i was down to write something for him... i can't write anymore help me

© yuesning — all rights reserved. DO NOT translate, copy, or transfer my works to other sites. this is my only writing blog.

the thought of james and all of a sudden ran through your head, the composure that you usually have became undone and he had only walked through the door.

this wasn't the person who you thought you were.

"are you okay?"

you snapped back into your thoughts, eyes flashing wide open as you felt a hand grip onto your shoulder, "you almost fell there, let's take a break on drinking, yeah?" your friend rushed hurriedly, grabbing the cup from your hand and placing it back onto the counter.

"no i'm fine i just – i drank too fast, ill go back to the couch." you smiled innocently, like you weren't just stress sweating a minute ago. "okay but if this happens again, we're dipping out of here."

"i'm fine." you reached out of her grip, fixing your hair as you made your way towards the couch.

you stepped in slowly, trying to avoid contact with everyone — specifically james. you felt your heart pounding, as you walked to one of the empty spots on the couches and by mind you sat next to james without intent, but just because it's a habit.

you sighed, running your hands down your bare thighs from nerves, feeling the warmth of james right beside you.

james noticed the small movement, raising an eyebrow at your impulsive breathing and your hands slowly rubbing up and down your legs like you tried to hide your nerves with comfort.

"you okay?" he leaned down, whispering against your ear, eyeing the people beside him.

"yeah im okay," you replied quietly. you looked over towards him, scanning his face. james met your gaze, staring deeply into you, "then why are you nervous?" he teased, a smile coming across his face.

your eyebrows furrowed, "i'm not nervous."

james saw the flutter in your eyes, the breaking in your voice, your voice getting quieter as the sentence progressed. he already knew the reasoning behind all your actions.

he hummed, "i believe you." he leaned back on the couch, shamelessly letting an arm rest behind you.

you shut your eyes, your arms coming to a cross, your heart only beating faster and faster. you already knew this night wasn't going to last the way you anticipated.

you sat beside james the whole time, easing off with conversations between you and your own friends, zoning out into spaces, anything to try to get james off of your mind.

james did the same thing — like usual; made conversations with his own friends, but his arm still rested behind you like it was a normal friendship action to do. good thing nobody questioned about it.

you really thought your composure regained itself with the distractions, with the ignorance of his arm behind you — though his hand got closer to closer to your shoulder as time went on and you never noticed until you felt the warmth of his hand on your shoulder, his fingers grabbing around the blade of it.

nobody noticed it – most likely too immersed in the different topics that were thrown around the room, but you sure did. your breath hitched mid conversation with your friend, the same stuttering happening all over again.

james smirked to himself, feeling the glow of your skin get hotter by his gesture, but he continued on with his conversations, despite the tension only getting deeper internally.

you tried laughing it off, giggling at whatever your friend had just said, regardless if it was humorous or not, you just needed to distract yourself harder.

but his hand dragged down the sole of your shoulder, reaching down to your elbow, then raising it back up to your blade, resting it there once again.

you bit your lip, letting out a deep breath, as you removed your gaze from your friend.

her voice came to a stop, as you snapped your head towards her, nervous that she may have caught on. "are you okay?" she titled her head.

"yeah?" you replied, confused.

"oh you just looked away from me randomly, i thought something happened again." her lips slanted, worry written all over her face.

you looked at her dumbfounded, not sure if she was being sarcastic or if she was completely oblivious to the hand that was currently rubbing up and down on your arm.

"are you drunk?" you questioned.

"no?" she furrowed her eyebrows, "why would you think that?"

you looked at her up and down, "just - just continue. i'm listening."

"i'll just talk to you later." she rolled your eyes, "or i'll talk to someone else that won't look away from me mid conversation." she huffed out a breath, crossing her arms in the meantime.

you looked over to james, watching the way he scrolled on his phone. "what the fuck are you doing?" you leaned in closer, yelling out quietly.

he met your gaze, "i'm on my phone." he replied blankly, "what are you accusing me of?"

"look at where your hand is and tell me what i'm accusing you of?"

"i'm touching my girl?"

you closed your eyes, "look where we are. if someone sees this you're fucked."

"i don't think they know regardless." he looked around the room, "they're all drunk. also, your friend didn't even catch it. i could make out with you right now and nobody would know."

you rolled your eyes, smiling hard, blush seeping through your cheeks, "don't talk to me like that, you're already doing this."

he chuckled, "i can talk to you however i want cause i know you wouldn't mind."

your tongue met the inside of your cheek, scanning his face once again. you felt your breath becoming rapid, your stare getting lost into his face, words coming blank to your mind.

"i'm going back to the kitchen." your voice came out soft, shaking your head away from any thoughts getting further the more you looked at him.

he smiled, "i'll be waiting for you"

"please don't be." you joked, rushingly getting up from your seat, making your way over the ruckus on the floor.

james watched you as you walked away, both of his arms coming to the top of the couch.

you let a hand run down your forearm, letting out another deep breath that was held in for a long time. you swore that you were going to be out of oxygen as the night approached, he was making you feral by this point.

and he knew.

you arrive to the kitchen, immediately resting your hands on the counter as the breeze from the semi opened window right above the sink settled in, causing you to squint your eyes at the air.

you ran a hand through your hair, letting it sit for a bit before running it through completely, your mind completely bombarded.

his looks remained unchanged in your mind, he has always looked good but never this good to the point you felt feelings you never felt before.

you were always patient, always composed to everyone, nobody knew about your relationships simply because you knew how to handle one privately — but now, you fell like a whole different person.

he knew what he was doing, he knew how you felt and he just wanted to see how far you could go.

you heard shuffling come from behind you, soft footsteps approaching behind you. you looked up at the reflection of the window and your lips immediately came to a smirk, dipping your head back down to stare down at the marble.

he stared at the back of your head the whole time, now resting his back against the counter beside you as he now stared at your side profile.

he dipped his hands in the pockets of his sweats, "you're acting different than usual." he finally broke the silence, lowly.

"you know what you're doing james," you huffed out a breath, raising your head up to look over at him, "i know what you're doing." you added on.

"what am i doing?" he raised an eyebrow. "don't act stupid cause you never do this in front of people." you replied back in an argumentative tone.

"don't get messy with me." he replied sternly, watching your change in demeanor, "i don't like when you start arguing with me."

you remove your hands off the counter, moving closer to him before coming to a stop right in front of him.

his hands stayed flat against the counter, looking at you up and down, watching you carefully. his mind fought the urge to bring his hands towards you, but he wanted to see where you'd take this.

you brought your hands onto his lower stomach, gliding it up until it landed onto his collarbone, meeting his gaze.

he watched you deeply, "don't start this."

you smiled, "you started this." you titled your head, bringing obvious tease onto the scene.

his heart fluttered, letting out a breathy chuckle. he finally brought his hands onto your waist, bringing you in closer until both of your chests glued together, "but i don't like when you do it."

you pouted sarcastically, your hands sliding up to his cheeks, bringing his face closer.

he immediately looked down to your lips, then back to your eyes. he chuckled once again, with a shake of his head, rising his head up a bit, "you're fucking crazy."

"how am i crazy?" you smiled. he licked his lips, heaving a breath, "you're doing this to me knowing that there's people out there."

you hummed, "now you know how i feel." you nodded slowly, "but you're only saying that because you know i won."

"won wh –"

you brought his face back down, planting a quick, lingering kiss onto his lips. you pulled back smiling, and he chased to meet your lips again, but your head retracted back before he could.

"don't get ahead of yourself, maybe someone's watching." you laughed, sliding his hands off of you. you turned on your heels, now leaving him to sulk in the kitchen.

he tried to reach out for your arm, but your legs were faster than him. he placed both of his hands back onto the counter, throwing his head back with a small smile.

you made your way back to the living room , scanning the scene; everyone got worse, multiple cups stacked onto the table, some of them sleeping on the floor — it was a mess.

you stopped in your tracks when you felt a sudden spark reappear in your stomach as your eyes gazed over the spot you and james sat in prior, now empty, yearning for your name.

your mind replayed the moment that happened seconds ago, the shift in tension, the closeness, his stare, his presence — the confidence you had before, is now gone.

you moved forward into the room, grabbing your car keys off of the coffee table.

"where are you going?" one of the boys asked, sitting up straight like you leaving was the end of the world. "home?" you squinted your eyes.

they groaned, "it's only like ten pm though."

"yeah and i'm going home." you rolled your eyes, brushing your top, getting ready to head to the enterance.

"no you're not." you heard a voice call out, the room falling silent. you turned around, only to meet james standing right by the couch.

oh's, flooded around the room, some of them trying to hold in their laughter at the sudden remark from james after being quiet for so long.

"he's serious too." one of his friends added intently, too engaged in the sudden change of tension.

you rolled your eyes once more, "i'm going home."

"why?" james questioned.

your mind froze, searching for an excuse, "i'm tired and i have a cat to feed." you turned back around, ready to head out.

"no don't go home!" one of your friends picked herself up from the couch, running straight to your arms, indulging you into a tight hug, "you can't go.." she mumbled into the crook of your neck, the cup in her hand only getting deeper and deeper into your stomach at that point.

"you're so fucking drunk." you patted her back, laughing while trying to pull back but she only emerged forward after every movement, pain now striking in, "your cup..." you said softly, panic scattering your body.

everyone rised up from the couch as they saw your expression shift to panic, trying to remove her from the scene.

"i told you to hold her down, she's so drunk." one of the other girls yelled out to the guy that sat beside her. "she left me!" he yelled back.

you opened your eyes, catching james in the corner of your eye, standing there almost like he was admiring the scene. "you going to help or what dude?" you yelled out loud.

"your girl is calling for you bro." one of his friends teased, patting his shoulder as he dragged the girl back onto the couch.

you stare wide eyed between the two of them, your eyebrows furrowing as your chest heaved up and down, "what the fuck is wrong with you." you yelled out, grabbing your stomach in the process.

"this is why im leaving, all of you guys are a mess." you turned on your heels but instead of rushing to the enternace you settled yourself into the bathroom that was down the hall.

you weren't even in pain anymore, it was more fury than anything. you knew the relationship was secretive but you had just gotten hurt and he had stood there in awe the whole time.

it got to you when you realized his own friends cared more about you than him and it genuinely upsetted you and that almost made him become fully erased from your mind – just like what happened in the kitchen scene.

you planted your car keys onto the counter, flatting the top of your hair down, fixing the flyaways as it got progressively messier when they tried removing your friend.

"what the hell bro?" you whispered to yourself, trying to fix anything that had gotten ruin physically.

the door suddenly opened, leading your movements to a halt.

"listen –" the sudden entry started.

you groaned deeply, "there's no listen. get out." you faced toward the door, peaking through the creek of the opened door, "please leave me alone." you whined when you realized who it was.

he didn't listen, instead he opened the door further, making you push away from it, leaving no room to push him away any farther.

"i know you're mad at me." he whispered, closing the door behind him. "of course i'm mad at you, you didn't even protect me."

"i didn't know what to do. and you know how she is, she's crazy." his tone remained calm, the lack of anger laced in his voice,

"still, it was a whole glass cup and you stood there." you sighed in disbelief.

"realistically, everyone was already up to help you –"

"but i wanted you to help me." you cut him off, slightly harsh.

he sighed, fingers running through his hair.

just by that moment, you felt the anger flush away within a second, your eyes beaming into him, erasing your thoughts completely.

you sighed back — not from disbelief of the situation this time, but more so from the same feeling you had felt earlier when he entered.

the new look, the way his whole persona changed just by a small detail. it almost made you not want to argue anymore – the feeling fuming its way back into you once again,

"i don't like how you're acting today." you crossed your arms, "you never, ever do this during a group hangout. it's like you dyed your hair and knew how i was going to act."

"or maybe you put a spell on me." you added on.

he laughed, stepping closer to you, "that's exactly it. i just know you so well."

"is this really the day you want us to expose – our whatever we have – to everyone in this house right now?"

"well that depends on how obvious you make it."

you rolled your eyes, arms coming down to your side in defeat, "you made it more obvious than me."

"i just wanted to show you some love." he mumbled, stepping even more closer, watching you with a look that made your heart beat fast.

"stop," your lips forming into a slight pout that eventually turned into a smile.

he chuckled, not even bothering with a reply as he brought a hand to your waist and the other one on your chin, bringing your face closer to his.

you looked in between his lips and his stare, sweat bawling up on the palm of your hands, your nervous system getting intense, the heat now running through your body.

your brought your hands up to the back of his neck, unintentionally bringing his face even closer to your own, lips only inches away from being touched.

"i knew you weren't going to stay angry at me." he mumbled, his breath fanning your lips. "shut up." you whispered, as you were the one who finally closed the distance.

his lips immediately took charge, the hand that was on your chin fell down to the other side of your waist, pulling you in even closer.

it was the usual soft kiss he always gave you, the passionate one that went on for hours and never got too intense — the one that screamed the patience you had for each other, never rushing the moment.

he titled his head, bring you in deeper into the kiss. your hands glided to his chest, soft breathing filling up the room.

the sound of chatter, the sound of bottles clinking, the sound of the hum from the tv fell into the back of your mind as it remained on james, feeding into the moment.

it seemed like the same way for him as he slowly controlled the kiss more intensely; his hand moving to the sole of your back, rubbing up and down, as the other reached the back of your thigh.

you caught onto the signal as your legs wrapped around his waist. he guided you onto the counter in a swift motion, both of his hands landing back onto your waist as you sat down on the edge of the marble.

your arms wrapped around his neck, shoving him deeper into the kiss to the point where he was hovering over you on top of the counter, the back of your head almost meeting the backsplash on the wall.

he broke away from the kiss, his breath still heavy on you, "you trying to make me sit up here with you or something?" he chuckled with humor, but the heat on his face, the slight purse of his lips didn't make you find the comment funny, only wanting more.

"not my intention." you replied blankly, eyes scanning back down to his lips, as you brought him back with no hurry.

"damn." he mumbled to himself against your lips, your lips now becoming more intense — the mood now feeling more like love than anything else.

"yo james what the fuck are you doing in there?" a muffled voice was heard from behind the door, alongside with some harsh knocks, the loud noise forcefully making you two break the kiss.

"dude." he whispered, "this is dangerous love." he shook his head, his head falling to the crook of your neck.

"you better go otherwise we're gonna expose ourselves." you managed to let out, despite the fact that your face was flushed and the flyaways that were once up were now stuck to your forehead.

"at this point, i don't even care." he met your gaze, "hide in the shower, i'll leave first."

"yeah go help the drunk one out there otherwise she'll shove a cup into you too."

he shook his head with laughter, "i love you." he planted a kiss onto your cheek, before sliding off of you.

you watched him intently, "also keep the blonde it looks nice – really nice on you." you smiled, kicking your feet that hung off the counter, watching him clean himself off.

"wait did you just say i love you?"

ness ˎˊ˗ YOO JAMES WORK!! who cheered cause i did. the blonde hair got a hold on me for awhile and i was down to write something for him... i can't write anymore help me

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