đđđđđđđđ âââ juhoon who was never good at telling his emotions started crying infront of you after a heated argument between you two
â bf ! juhoon Ă fem!reader
word count ââ 3.2k
ËáŻœ ĘË đđđđđđâđ đđđđ coco speaking here! JUHOON GOTTA BE THE PRETTIEST CRIER IVE EVER SEEN LIKE WHY IS HE JUST SO PRETTY ALL THE DAMN TIME đđđ UGH MY AEGI HES SO PRECIOUS TO ME đ§§ đđđđđđđđđđ
The fight began the way most disastrous arguments doânot with screaming or shattered glass, but with something deceptively insignificant.
A forgotten text, a delayed response, a sigh delivered with the wrong tone. By midnight, however, the tiny fracture had widened into something jagged and catastrophic.
Rain tapped relentlessly against the apartment windows while the city beyond the glass dissolved into blurred streaks of gold and gray. The kitchen lights remained dim, casting amber shadows across the marble counters and illuminating the tension suspended thickly between the two of you.
You stood near the island with your arms wrapped tightly around yourself, nails digging crescents into your sleeves as though physically holding yourself together.
Across from you, Juhoon leaned against the counter in suffocating silence.
That silence again. That unbearable, impenetrable quietness that made every disagreement feel one-sided, like throwing your emotions against a locked door and hearing nothing echo back.
His expression was composed in the infuriating way it always wasâcontrolled, restrained, unreadable. Even now, during an argument that had your chest aching so violently you could barely breathe, he looked devastatingly calm.
You hated that, not because he was cruel, but because you could never tell if he cared as much as you did.
âYou could at least look at me while Iâm talking,â you said at last, your voice strained from holding too much emotion for too long.
His gaze flickered upward briefly before drifting away again. âIâm listening.â
âThatâs the problem,â you replied bitterly. âYouâre always listening. Never talking.â
His jaw flexed, a subtle reaction most people would miss.
You didnât. You noticed everything about him because you had spent months teaching yourself how to love someone who communicated through fragments instead of sentences.
The way his fingers curled meant irritation. The slight tension in his shoulders meant discomfort. The silence meant he was overwhelmed.
Except tonight you were exhausted from deciphering him. âYou always do this,â you continued, voice trembling despite your efforts to steady it. âEvery single time we argue, you shut down and leave me to figure everything out on my own.â
âIâm not shutting down.â
âYou havenât said more than five words to me in ten minutes.â
He exhaled slowly through his nose, already looking fatigued by the conversation. âYou know Iâm not good at this.â
A humorless laugh escaped you. âAt what? Communicating? Having emotions?â
âThatâs not fair.â
âNo?â Your eyes burned. âThen tell me what is fair, Juhoon. Because I spend half this relationship wondering whether you actually want me here.â
That finally made him look at you directly, and the hurt in his eyes was immediate. But instead of softening you, it only made the frustration twisting through your ribs intensify. âYou know thatâs not true.â
âHow would I know?â you shot back. âYou never tell me anything.â
His patience began to fracture. You could hear it in the clipped cadence of his breathing. âI show you.â
âYou show me in ways I have to analyze like Iâm decoding some impossible language,â you said, voice rising. âDo you know how exhausting that is?â
He pushed away from the counter then, agitation radiating from him in restrained waves. âAnd do you know how exhausting it is feeling like nothing I do is enough for you?â
The words struck harder than expected. You blinked. âI never said that.â
âYou donât have to.â His tone sharpened. For the first time that night, genuine anger seeped through his carefully maintained composure.
âItâs always the same conversation,â he continued. âYou keep asking for more and more and more from me like Iâm failing some test I didnât even know I was taking.â
âThatâs not what this is!â
âThen what is it?â he snapped suddenly. âBecause apparently loving you quietly isnât enough. Remembering everything about you isnât enough. Being there whenever you need me isnât enough because I donât say pretty things every five seconds.â
The accusation stole the air from your lungs. âI never asked for perfect words,â you whispered.
âCouldâve fooled me.â The cruelty in his voice was subtle, not loud nor explosive.  Which somehow made it worse.
Your throat tightened painfully. âI just want reassurance sometimes.â
âAnd Iâm telling you Iâm trying.â
âYou barely talk to me when somethingâs wrong!â
âBecause every time I do,â he said sharply, âit turns into this.â
Silence crashed between you again, only this time it felt vicious. Your heartbeat thudded painfully against your ribs. âYou know what hurts the most?â you asked quietly. âI feel lonely even when Iâm standing right beside you.â
Something cold flickered across his face then. Exhaustion, the kind born from feeling perpetually misunderstood. âAnd you know what Iâm tired of?â he replied. âFeeling like I have to become someone else just to keep you satisfied.â
Your lips parted. âThatâs notââ
âNo, listen,â he interrupted, voice rougher now. âI canât love the way you want every second of every day. Iâm not overly emotional. Iâm not good with words. And honestly?â His eyes hardened slightly. âMaybe if you stopped needing constant validation, we wouldnât keep ending up here.â
The sentence landed like a blade driven straight between your ribs. The room went completely still. Juhoon seemed to realize it immediately.
You saw the regret flash across his features the second the words left his mouth. But it was too late, because suddenly every insecurity you had buried deep inside yourself came clawing violently to the surface.
Too clingy, too emotional, too much. Your face went blank in the terrifying way heartbreak sometimes empties a person instead of making them cry. âWow,â you whispered.
âBaby, I didnât meanââ
âNo.â Your voice sounded distant even to yourself. âYou meant it.â
His expression crumpled slightly. âI was angry.â
âThat doesnât make it less true.â
âItâs not true.â
But now you couldnât stop hearing it. Maybe if you stopped needing constant validation. The sentence echoed viciously through your head.
You swallowed hard, suddenly unable to bear the sight of him. Without another word, you turned and grabbed your jacket from the back of the chair.
Juhoon straightened immediately. âWhere are you going?â
âI need to leave for a while.â
âItâs raining.â
âI donât care.â
He stepped forward then, panic finally overtaking the frustration on his face. âDonât do this.â
You laughed softly, but the sound was hollow. âDo what? Leave before I embarrass myself by begging someone to love me correctly?â
His face paled. âThatâs not what I said.â
âItâs what you meant.â
âI was frustratedââ
âAnd I was hurt.â
Your voice cracked at last. Raw devastation bleeding through the numbness settling over you. âYou know what the worst part is?â you whispered, eyes glossy now. âI defended your silence for so long. To everyone. I kept telling myself you loved differently, that you cared in ways people couldnât see.â
Juhoon looked like he physically couldnât breathe.
âBut tonight,â you continued shakily, âyou made me feel stupid for wanting reassurance from the person I love.â
The apartment fell deathly silent. Rain battered the windows harder. His eyes glistened with immediate remorse âPlease donât leave angry.â
You stared at him for a long moment. At the boy you loved so desperately it frightened you. The boy whose quiet tenderness had once felt safe. Now it only felt unreachable. âI think if I stay right now,â you said softly, âIâll say something unforgivable.â
Then you walked toward the door.
âBabyââ
But this time, when he said it, you didnât stop, and the sound of the door closing behind you felt far too much like something breaking forever.
The night had become glacial by the time you finally wandered back toward the apartment. Hours had passed in a blur of rain-slick sidewalks, blurred streetlights, and thoughts so tangled they felt impossible to unravel.
The city was nearly silent now, stripped of its usual vibrancy, leaving only the distant hum of traffic and the occasional rush of cold wind biting against your skin.
Your fingers were numb inside your jacket pockets. Your chest hurt worse. The argument replayed relentlessly in your mind no matter how hard you tried to outrun it.
Maybe if you stopped needing constant validation.
The sentence echoed like a bruise pressed over and over again. Part of you understood he hadnât meant it the way it sounded. You knew Juhoon better than anyone. You knew frustration twisted his words sharp sometimes, especially when emotions overwhelmed him.
But another part of you, the quieter, more fragile partâcouldnât stop wondering if there had been truth hidden beneath the cruelty.
Maybe you were too much. Too emotional, too needy, too difficult to love properly.
The thought hollowed something inside you, and somehow, despite all of it, despite the hurt still lodged painfully beneath your ribsâYou missed him desperately, pathetically.
It had only been a few hours, yet every second away from him had felt profoundly wrong, as though some invisible thread tethered between your hearts had stretched too far without snapping completely.
By the time you reached the apartment building, exhaustion clung heavily to your bones. Your phone read 2:07 AM.
The hallway outside your apartment was eerily quiet. Even the usual flickering overhead light seemed dimmer tonight.
You stood outside the door for several seconds, staring blankly at the handle while anxiety twisted violently in your stomach. What if he was still angry? What if he regretted everything? What ifâ
You swallowed hard and unlocked the door anyway. The apartment was almost entirely dark. Only the small lamp beside the couch remained on, casting a muted golden glow across the living room. Shadows stretched lazily along the walls while rain continued murmuring softly against the windows.
And there he was. Your breath caught instantly.
Juhoon was curled awkwardly against the couch cushions, still wearing the same black hoodie from earlier. One arm lay draped over his face while the other rested limply against his stomach, like exhaustion had finally dragged him under after hours of waiting.
The sight alone nearly shattered you. He looked uncomfortable, restless. Like sleep had only claimed him out of complete emotional collapse.
Your chest constricted painfully. Slowly, carefully, you stepped closer. âJuhoon,â you whispered.
No response.
You crouched beside the couch quietly, your heart aching at how pale he looked beneath the warm light. Strands of dark hair had fallen messily across his forehead, soft and disheveled in a way that made him seem unbearably vulnerable.
Tentatively, you brushed your fingers through it. âBaby.â
His eyelashes fluttered faintly. Then slowly, reluctantly, his eyes opened, and your entire body went still.
His eyes were swollen, red-rimmed, wet. Like he had spent hours crying alone in the dark.
Your stomach dropped immediately. âOh my godâŠâ
The devastation on his face the moment he fully recognized you was almost unbearable to witness. Relief hit him so violently it physically altered his expression. His lips parted shakily.
Before you could even process it, Juhoon surged upright and wrapped his arms around you with desperate force, nearly knocking the breath from your lungs entirely, and then he broke apart.
A strangled sob ripped from his chest so abruptly that it startled you. His entire body trembled violently against yours while another shattered sound escaped him, raw and uncontrollable.
âHeyâhey, itâs okay,â you whispered immediately, climbing onto the couch beside him as your own vision blurred with tears. âJuhoonâŠâ
He buried his face against your neck like he couldnât bear to look at you directly, fingers clutching the fabric of your hoodie so tightly it almost hurt.
But you didnât care, because Juhoon was crying. Juhoon, the boy who concealed every emotion behind silence and restraintâwas sobbing in your arms like he had been holding himself together by a single unraveling thread.
âIâm sorry,â he choked out brokenly. Your heart cracked clean down the middle. âIâm so sorry.â
Another sob tore through him, rough and uneven. You froze for half a second, overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of his grief.
You had never seen him like this before. Never.Â
Even during the worst moments of his life, Juhoon had always remained composed in that quiet, self-destructive way of his. He internalized everything. Buried everything. Suffered in silence because vulnerability terrified him more than pain itself.
But now?
Now he was unraveling completely beneath your touch, and somehow that hurt more than the argument ever had.
âI didnât mean it,â he whispered frantically between shaky breaths. âI swear to god I didnât mean it like thatâI didnât mean to make you feel unwanted.â
Tears spilled down his cheeks faster than he could wipe them away. His breathing came unevenly, fragile hiccups interrupting nearly every sentence.
âYou left and I justâŠâ He swallowed hard, voice splintering apart. âI thought you were done with me.â
âOh, JuhoonâŠâ
âI called you like ten times,â he admitted weakly, words muffled against your shoulder. âI kept trying to figure out what to say, but nothing sounded right and Iâfuckââ
His voice dissolved into another sob. âI canât lose you.â The confession was so painfully sincere it made your own tears fall instantly.
You cupped his face carefully, forcing him to look at you despite the embarrassment flickering through his watery eyes.
And god, he looked devastated.
Wet lashes clung together while tears slid endlessly down flushed skin. His lips trembled uncontrollably, breath hitching every few seconds as though his body physically could not calm down now that the fear had finally escaped him, and beneath all that anguish.
Love.
So much overwhelming love it nearly stole the air from your lungs. âYouâre not losing me,â you whispered softly.
His expression crumpled further. âI thought I already did.â
You brushed your thumbs beneath his eyes gently, catching tear after tear.
âI know Iâm difficult,â he whispered hoarsely. âI know I make things hard because I donât talk right, but I swear I love you more than anything.â
The sincerity in his voice shattered whatever remained of your anger, because he meant it. Every single syllable.
Juhoon loved with terrifying intensity. He just expressed it differentlyâthrough actions, through presence, through quiet devotion hidden in places words could never fully reach.
âI donât know how to explain things the way you need,â he continued shakily. âBut I need you here. I need you.â
Your chest ached so violently it almost felt unbearable. Without thinking, you leaned forward and kissed him softly.
The second your lips touched his, he melted completely. A trembling breath escaped him, shaky and uneven, before his hands slid around your waist with unmistakable desperation. Not possessive, but clinging, almost fragile, like he needed physical proof that you were truly there and not about to disappear again.
The kiss carried remnants of tears and exhaustion and unspoken apologies.
Juhoon kissed you like someone starved for reassurance, every movement hesitant at first before gradually deepening with overwhelming emotion. His lips trembled faintly against yours while his fingers curled tighter into the fabric of your hoodie, anchoring himself to you with quiet urgency.
You could still taste salt from his tears. Could still feel the uneven rhythm of his breathing brushing shakily against your skin, and somehow, that vulnerability shattered you more thoroughly than the argument ever had.
When you pulled back only slightly, your foreheads rested together, breaths mingling in the small space between you.
His eyes remained half-lidded and glassy, lashes damp and clumped together from crying. There was something devastatingly defenseless about the way he looked at you now, like every carefully constructed wall heâd spent years building had finally collapsed under the sheer magnitude of loving you.
âIâm sorry too,â you whispered against his mouth.
He shook his head immediately, brows pinching together. âNo, donât apologize.â
âI left.â
âYou were hurt.â
âSo were you.â
That alone nearly made him cry again. A shaky breath escaped him before he buried himself against you once more, arms wrapping tightly around your middle as though separation itself had become unbearable now.
This time, he didnât fight the tears. He let them come. Soft, broken sobs trembled through him while your fingers combed gently through his hair, untangling the storm little by little.
âI love you,â you murmured repeatedly against his temple. âI love you so much.â
Every single time you said it, his grip tightened, as though he was memorizing the feeling of hearing it.
Eventually his crying softened into quiet sniffles and exhausted breathing. You pressed a lingering kiss against his forehead. âCome to bed with me?â
He nodded weakly. The two of you moved through the apartment in silence, but it no longer felt hostile. Now it felt delicate, tender. Juhoon never let go of your hand once.
The second you both slipped beneath the blankets, he immediately curled himself against your side, burying his face near your shoulder while one arm wrapped securely around your waist.
Your fingers drifted slowly along his back beneath his hoodie, soothing the occasional tremor still lingering through his body.
The room remained quiet except for rain tapping softly against the windows and his gradually steadying breathing. Then, after several long minutes. âI never think youâre annoying.â
Your heart squeezed painfully. You glanced down at him. His eyes remained closed, voice rough and sleepy from crying. âI like when you cling to me,â he admitted quietly. âMakes me feel⊠wanted.â
A weak, watery laugh escaped you. âYeah?â
âMhm.â His fingertips curled faintly into the fabric of your shirt, hesitant and delicate despite the vulnerability trembling beneath the gesture. âWhen you need me like that,â he whispered quietly, voice still rough from crying, âit reminds me I matter to someone.â
You stared at him in stunned silence for a moment, because suddenly everything made sense. All this time, Juhoon had been loving you with the exact same desperation you loved him.
He just buried it beneath silence because he never learned how to voice it aloud.
Your expression softened entirely. The tension lingering in your chest melted into something overwhelmingly tender as your fingers brushed carefully along his cheek, your thumb grazing beneath his eye where faint traces of tears still remained.
He leaned into the touch instinctively. The sight nearly shattered you.
Slowly, you leaned down and kissed him again. This kiss was different from before, slower, sleepier. Overflowing with forgiveness instead of panic.
Your lips moved against his with lingering tenderness while his breathing softened gradually beneath the warmth of your touch. He kissed you back carefully, almost reverently, as though savoring every second instead of fearing its disappearance.
The room around you had become impossibly still. Only the rain tapping faintly against the windows and the occasional shaky exhale from Juhoon disturbed the silence.
One of his hands slid slowly upward along your side until it rested lightly against your ribs beneath your hoodie. The touch was featherlight, unhurried, his fingertips tracing absentminded patterns there like he simply needed to feel your heartbeat beneath his palm.
Yet even now, wrapped around you beneath dim bedroom lighting, Juhoon continued kissing you with heartbreaking sincerity, as if every unspoken emotion heâd buried for months was finally pouring out through touch instead of words.
Juhoon sighed softly against your lips before tucking himself impossibly closer, his face hidden safely against your neck now. âI love you,â he whispered once more, barely audible.
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âïž synopsis: After accidentally kicking a football straight into your face, Seonghyeon is prepared to spend the rest of the week apologizing. You meanwhile, discovered that being mildly injured comes with some surprisingly enjoyable perks.
âïž genre: classmate!seonghyeon x classmate!reader, highschool!au, SLOWBURN.., fluff, teasing, kissing, mutual pining, footballplayer!seonghyeon, shy!reader, jealousy, lots of yearning, a lil angst in there, protective!seonghyeon, shy girl & popular guy or wtv, some cringeworthy scenes, introverted reader x extroverted? seonghyeon
âïž wc: 17,6k MASTERLIST
If anyone asked later, you would insist you saw the football coming.
You didnât.
Not until it was already flying toward you at an alarming speed.
Then- well. Getting hit in the face tends to interrupt a personâs train of thought.
The impact came fast and hard, sending a sharp sting across your cheek. Your eyes watered instantly as the ball bounced away somewhere across the field, but you barely noticed. All you could do was stand there, blinking in disbelief.
Seriously? Out of everyone on the field, it had to hit you?
A mixture of gasps and laughter erupted around you. Heat rushed to your face immediately, not from the pain, but from the sudden realization that half the football field was staring at you. Great.
Nothing was more humiliating than becoming the center of attention because a football had smacked you directly in the face. You pressed a hand against your cheek, hoping the ground would open up and swallow you whole.
A pair of hurried footsteps pounded across the grass, growing louder by the second. Before you could even recover, someone came to a stop right in front of you. âOh my god.â
You looked up, it was Seonghyeon. His eyes were wide, his face pale. Judging by his expression, youâd think he just witnessed a murder.
âAre you okay?â he asked immediately. You opened your mouth to answer.
âI am so sorry.â Then closed it again.
âI wasnât aiming anywhere near you, I swear. I donât even know how that happened. Are you hurt? Does your head hurt? Can you see properly?â
The questions came so quickly that you barely had time to process them. You just stared at him. It wasnât really because your head hurt, more so because Eom Seonghyeon, the same Seonghyeon who usually looked far too cool and confident for his own good, looked like he was seconds away from having a complete breakdown. Finally, you sighed.
âI got hit by a football, not hit by a truckââ
ââSome would argue that thatâs worse.ââ
Despite yourself, a faint laugh escaped you. The tension in Seonghyeonâs shoulders eased immediately at the sound of your laugh. For some reason, that made your stomach do something strange.
âYou laughed,â he said, narrowing his eyes slightly.
ââHm?ââ
âIt means youâre okay.â
You blinked at him. Then, before you could stop yourself you let out a quiet groan and pressed a hand to your forehead. Immediately, panic returned to his face. âWait. What happened? Are you dizzy?â
ââŠVery.â
The reaction was instant.
âOh god.â
You had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling. âVeryâ was apparently the wrong thing to say. Seonghyeon looked seconds away from calling an ambulance.
âI might die, it could be because of you.â you said dramatically.
âItâs that bad?!â
Then he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
âCome on.â
âWhat?â
âIâm taking you to the nurse.â
You opened your mouth to protest, then closed it again. ActuallyâŠthat didnât sound so bad.
A few minutes later, you found yourself sitting on a chair in the nurseâs office while Seonghyeon hovered nearby like an anxious parent. The nurse had spent less than thirty seconds checking you over before declaring you completely fine. Unfortunately for Seonghyeon, he didnât seem convinced.
âAre you sure?â he asked. The nurse looked mildly offended.
âYes.â
âBut the ball hit her pretty hard.â
âSheâs fine.â
âHow do you know?â
You looked away before either of them could see your smile. This was getting ridiculous. Yet you couldnât remember the last time someone had worried about you this much. When the nurse finally sent you back out, Seonghyeon stayed beside you the entire walk down the hallway.
âYou sure youâre okay? Do you want me to get you something? Youâre not bruised, are you? Wait, let me check-â Before you could respond, Seonghyeon was already leaning closer, his eyes narrowing slightly as he examined your cheek. You froze for a second, suddenly very aware of how close he was. After a moment, he leaned back with a small frown.
âI think itâs going to bruise.â
A few days have gone by, and Seonghyeon had somehow managed to become your personal caretaker. At first, it had been small things.
A bottle of water placed on your desk every morning with a bright smile that had you not doubt why everyone was charmed by him. When you carried many books, heâd take them out of your hands without hesitation. Everytime he would walk past you, heâd ask you this question:
ââHowâs your head today?ââ as if you were recovering from a life threatening injury. You have never met someone so commited. At some point you stopped correcting him because everytime he checked on you, his face softened in a way you have never seen before.
Before what happened in the football field, Seonghyeon had been one of those people you only knew from a distance. The kind of person everyone seemed to recognize. He wasnât loud or constantly trying to be noticed, he never really had to. People gravitated towards him naturally.
Teachers liked him. Students liked him. Heck, even the security guard near the front entrance seemed happy to see him every morning. You had always thought Seonghyeon was cold and intimidating, which is why you have never spoken to him before. You werenât exactly the type to walk up to people.
While Seonghyeon seemed to move through school as if he belonged everywhere, you preferred blending into the background. You kept your circle small, avoided unecessary attention and spent most of your time in your own world. The idea of starting a conversation with someone like Seonghyeon had never even crossed your mind. You were pretty sure he didnât know who you were, or at the very least never bothered to pay any attention to you. Then he kicked a football directly into your face, now he wouldnât leave you alone.
You really shouldâve kept your mouth shut. It had been a completely harmless comment, a passing observation. Something youâd mutter to your friend while packing up your things after class.
ââIâm hungryââ
You hadnât asked anyone to get you anything, and you certainly hadnât been talking to Seonghyeon. Yet somehow a few minutes later, he came back with a recognizable sandwich from the school cafeteria. You looked up in confusion.
âSo..â
Before you could finish your sentence, Seonghyeon handed you the sandwich.
âYou said you were hungryâ
You stared at him, then the sandwich, then back at him.
â..oh.â
Very articulate. His expression didnât change.
âEat.â
âI was going to buy one after class.â
âNow you donât have to.â
You opened your mouth to argue, then closed it again. Because the problem wasnât the sandwich. The problem was that half the classroom had suddenly become very interested in what was happening. You could practically feel the stares.
The girls sitting by the window had stopped talking. Someone behind you let out a suspiciously amused laugh. Your friend looked seconds away from exploding. She had many questions, the look upon her face says it all. Heat immediately rushed to your face.
ââTha..nks.ââ You mumbled, taking the sandwich quickly in your hand while lowering your head. Seonghyeon was completely unaware of the crisis unfolding internally.
ââYour head okay?ââ
ââYeah..â
ââYou sure?ââ
ââYes.ââ
ââGood.ââ
The conversation really shouldâve ended there. Instead, Seonghyeon remained standing next to your desk. Your face grew warmer. Why is he still here? Finally, after a few seconds he spoke again.
ââLet me know if it starts hurting.ââ
Then, as casually as heâd arrived, turned and walked away. You turned to your friend, you already knew where this was going.
ââY/n-ââ
ââNo.ââ
ââThereâs like-clearly something going on that youâre refusing to inform me about.ââ
ââLike what?ââ
Her expression changed, as if it was obvious and self explanatory.
Choi Haejin was the complete opposite of you. You were reserved, she was sociable and open. You were in your own world and Haejin was in everybody elseâs, gathering information to gossip about later. Somehow this dynamic worked extremely well. You needed a friend to do all the talking, and you really do enjoy it.
ââHello? Why is he practically working for you?ââ
ââItâs not reasonable for him to have any hatred towards you though..â
ââHow are you so calm?!ââ
Yes, one of Choi Haejinâs many loveable qualities. Her overwhelmingly stacked questions.
Seonghyeonâs concern didnât seem to fade with time. If anything, it had simply evolved. A week after the football incident, you found yourself stuck in a conversation you had absolutely no interest in being part of. Youâd only been trying to get to class. That was it.
Somehow, somewhere between leaving the cafeteria and reaching the stairs, a girl from your year had stopped you. You knew who she was, but not well enough to have a ten minute conversation in the middle of the hallway. Yet here you were, smiling politely, nodding occasionally and secretly praying for an escape.
â-and then she literally posted about it!â the girl continued. âReally?â you replied.
You didnât even know what you were saying âreallyâ to anymore. The conversation had dragged on for so long that youâd completely lost the plot. You shifted your weight awkwardly, glancing toward the staircase. Your next class started in a few minutes, but cutting her off felt rude. Standing here forever also felt rude to yourself.
âSo then I told her-ââ
âThere you are.â
The familiar voice made you look up immediately. Seonghyeon. For a second, you just stared. He stopped beside you, one hand shoved casually into his pocket.
âWhy are you still here?â he asked.
You blinked.
âWhat?â
âClass starts in like two minutes.â
Your eyes widened slightly.
It did?
Before you could check your phone, Seonghyeon looked over at the girl.
âSorry,â he said easily. âI need her for something.â
Need you?
The girl glanced between the two of you.
âOh.â
You felt your face heat up instantly.
âOh.â
Seonghyeon, meanwhile, looked completely unaffected. The girl quickly stepped aside.
âYeah, of course.â
And just like that, you were free. You followed Seonghyeon down the hallway, still trying to process what had happened. Neither of you spoke.
âYou didnât need me for anything.â You began.
âNope.â You stared at him. He glanced over.
âYou looked like you wanted to escape.â Your steps faltered slightly.
âWas it that obvious?â
âTo me?â he shrugged. âA little.â
You looked away before he could see the smile threatening to appear. The strange thing was that you hadnât even told him you were uncomfortable. You hadnât said anything at all. And somehow, heâd noticed anyway.
The next day, by the time you reached your classroom, you were expecting everyone to already be inside. Instead, a small crowd had gathered outside the locked door.
A few students sat on the floor scrolling through their phones while others stood around complaining about the teacher being late. Relieved that you hadnât actually missed anything, you slipped into an empty spot against the wall and pulled out your phone, hoping to blend into the background until the classroom opened. It was working for about thirty seconds, then a familiar voice spoke beside you.
âYouâre late, Itâs not because of your head is it?ââ
You looked up to find Seonghyeon standing there. Before you could answer, someone walking down the hallway lifted a hand.
âHey, Seonghyeon.â
âHey.â
Another student nodded at him as they passed. A group farther down the hall called his name and he acknowledged them with a small wave. It was such a normal thing that he barely seemed to notice it. You did.
Before he acknowledged you, this was exactly how youâd always seen him, from a distance. Someone who seemed to know everyone and be known by everyone. Teachers greeted him. Students greeted him. Even people who werenât in his friend group seemed comfortable walking up to him. Meanwhile, you were usually trying to avoid being perceived altogether.
âWell?â he asked.
You blinked.
âWhat?â
âWhy are you late?â You immediately looked away because the answer was embarrassing.
âI couldnât find a pen.â Seonghyeon stared at you.
âA pen.â
âYes.â
âYou were late because of a pen.â
âIt was an important pen.â
The corner of his mouth twitched, you felt strangely defensive.
âIt was.â
A laugh escaped him.
Not loud enough to draw attention, but enough that you looked up in surprise. You werenât sure why the sound caught you off guard. Maybe because Seonghyeon always seemed so composed around everyone else. Maybe because youâd spent months assuming he was intimidating. Now he was laughing because you apparently make hilarious jokes.
The interaction hadnât gone unnoticed, somehow you caught two girls nearby glancing over before quickly looking away. One of them whispered something to the other. Heat immediately crept up your neck.
For some reason, whenever Seonghyeon talked to you, it felt like everyone else suddenly became interested too. Seonghyeon either didnât notice or didnât care. A few minutes later, one of his friends appeared and nudged his shoulder.
âCome here for a sec.â You expected him to leave but instead he glanced over briefly. âIâll be there in a minute, Keonho.ââ His friend looked between the two of you before smirking slightly. âRight.â
The second he walked away, you wanted to disappear. Seonghyeon meanwhile, looked completely oblivious. The conversation continued in small pieces after that. Nothing important. Complaints about homework. A teacher neither of you liked. The upcoming test everyone was stressing about. You still werenât saying much but for the first time, the silences didnât feel awkward.
That was what surprised you the most because before all of this, talking to Seonghyeon had never even seemed like a possibility. Now you found yourself hoping the teacher would stay late for a few more minutes.
If there was one thing youâd learned from being friends with Haejin, it was that she was incapable of making a quick decision. She was supposed to buy a game for her younger brotherâs birthday.
You were only there because sheâd insisted she needed a âsecond opinionâ. According to Haejin, this was a very important responsibility. According to you, she just didnât want to go alone. Twenty minutes later, your theory was proven to be correct.
âYouâve been staring at these three games for like ten minutesâ
Haejin gasped dramatically. âThis is a life changing decision.â
ââŠItâs a birthday gift?ââ
ââExactly.ââ
You sighed and glanced around the store.
The place was busier than youâd expected for a saturday afternoon. The game store was warm and slightly crowded, lined with shelves stacked with colorful game cases and collectibles. Bright lights reflected off display screens scattered throughout the store, while the faint sounds of racing games, button mashing, and excited conversations filled the air.
Groups of friends wandered between aisles, kids begged their parents to buy things and somewhere in the back of the store, a racing game played loudly through a set of speakers.
ââOh, what do i do? Haemin likes all of these.ââ At this point, you were mostly waiting for Haejin to decide which game sheâd buy for her brother so you could both leave. Then a familiar voice drifted across the store.
ââYou canât blame me for that.ââ
For a second, you thought youâd imagined it but then another voice answered.
ââOh yes i can.ââ
You turned your head slightly. Near the racing simulator setup stood two boys. One was sitting in the simulator, controller still in hand. The other stood beside him with his arms crossed. You recognized them immediately.
Seonghyeon and Keonho.
You simply stared. Not because seeing them was surprising, youâre sure many highschoolers come here.
Because seeing them like this was.
ââYou literally drove into me!ââ Keonho blamed.
ââI didnât-ââ
ââYou did.ââ
ââI barely touched you.ââ
Keonho looked genuienly offended.
ââYou sent my car into a wall.ââ
ââWell you suck at this game anyway.ââ
A laugh escaped Seonghyeon.
Even after becoming friends with him, most of your conversations had happened between classes, in hallways, or during lunch breaks.
School Seonghyeon was confident, calm, and seemingly unbothered by everything. This version felt more relaxed, warm. More real. Like the moment he stepped outside school, some invisible pressure disappeared.
Beside you, Haejin finally noticed where your attention had gone. She looked at the two boys.
âNo way.â
You already knew that tone.
âHaejin.â
âNo way.â
âHaejin.â
âThatâs Seonghyeon- and Keonho.ââ
âI can see that.â
She looked far too excited about this discovery. Fate apparently hated you because at that exact moment, Keonho looked up and spotted the two of you. His grin appeared instantly.
âOh, this is interesting.â
Seonghyeon frowned.
âWhat?â
Keonho tilted his head toward the entrance. Slowly, Seonghyeon turned around. For a brief moment, surprise flashed across his face. His eyes met yours. The first thing he did was smile, a genuine smile. Suddenly, becoming very interested in the floor seemed like a fantastic idea. Haejin had other plans. Before you could stop her, she grabbed your wrist and started walking.
âHaejin.â
âNope.â
âHaejin, come on-â
âWeâre already committed.â
âWe absolutely are not.â
Across the store, you could hear Keonho laughing which somehow made everything worse. By the time the two of you have reached them, your dignity had already left the building.
ââY/n,ââ Seonghyeon said.
The fact that he greeted you first did absolutely nothing to help.
ââHi.ââ
Haejin meanwhile, had abandoned all subtlety.
ââWhat happened to fourth place?ââ
Keonho immediately pointed at her.
ââTHANK YOU.ââ
Seonghyeon closed his eyes briefly. ââYou are not helping.ââ
ââYou came fourth?ââ
You really couldnât help asking. The look Seonghyeon gave you was almost enough to make you laugh, almost. Keonho looked delighted. Finally, someone was on his side. âYou see?â he said, pointing at you. âEven y/n agrees.â
âI didnât agree with anything,â you replied immediately.
âYou asked the question.â
âThatâs not the same thing.â
âIt basically is.â
âIt absolutely is not.â
Seonghyeon looked exhausted.
âYou two are impossible.â
The comment earned matching offended expressions from both you and Keonho which, unfortunately, only made Haejin laugh.
âWow,â she said. âIâve never seen him lose an argument before.â
âIâm not losing.â
âYou came fourth.â
âI came fourth because somebody doesnât know how to drive.â
Keonho gasped.
The betrayal.
The audacity.
The complete disrespect.
For a second, the two of them resumed arguing while you stood there trying- and failing not to smile. It was strange. Before today, youâd never really seen Seonghyeon with his friends. Not properly.
At school, people always seemed drawn to him. There was always someone talking to him, waving at him, asking him something. But this felt different, like it was more real, less intimidating.
You followed his gaze. Haejin was holding up two game cases while Keonho looked like he was defending his thesis.
âYeah.â
âTheyâve been arguing about the same thing for like ten minutes.â
âYou say that like you werenât arguing over a racing game when I walked in.â
Seonghyeon looked over.
âThat was different.â
âWas it?ââ
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
Neither of you said anything for a moment. You found yourself looking around the store instead, eyes moving over shelves packed with games you knew nothing about. Then Seonghyeon pointed toward one.
âHave you played that before?â
You glanced at the cover.
âNo.â
âWhat about that one?â
âNo.â
He pointed at another.
âNo.â
Another.
âNo.â
Seonghyeon stared at you.
âHave you ever had fun before?â
You were slightly taken aback.
âExcuse me?â
âIâm trying to figure out why Haejin brought you to a game store.ââ
âIâm here to supervise.â
To your surprise, he laughed.
Slowly, Your conversations started to flow naturally. It felt easier to talk to him. Maybe because it didnât feel like talking to the cool guy everyone knew. Or the football player.
Just Seonghyeon.
Talking to him was becoming easier than talking to most people.
âYou owe me.â
You looked up from your phone.
Across the lunch table, Haejin was staring at you expectantly.
âWhat?â
âYou owe me.â
â..I donât think I do.â
âYou do.â
You narrowed your eyes, then Haejin leaned forward.
âArenât friends supposed to support each otherâs interests?â She gave you a cheeky smile.
ââMm..that depends.ââ
ââOn what?ââ
âWhether those interests involve dragging me somewhere against my will.â
A look of betrayal crossed her face.
âWow.â
âYou still havenât told me where weâre going.â
âHaejin.â
She grinned. âWhat?â
You gave her a knowing look before she finally decided to answer.
âThereâs a football match after school.â
You stared at her.
âSeriously? No.â
The answer came so quickly that she looked offended.
âYou didnât even think about it.â
âI did.â
âYou really didnât.â
âI absolutely did.â
Haejin pointed at you.
âSee? This is exactly why I didnât tell you sooner.â
Unfortunately, that was how you found yourself sitting on the school bleachers three hours later, questioning every life decision that had led you to this moment. It seemed fun though.
The field was already crowded by the time you arrived.
Students filled up most of the seats, scattered in groups with friends, snacks and far more enthusiasm than you could ever relate to. The noise was conversations overlapping, people calling out to eachother, the occasional burst of laughter carrying across the field.
You adjusted your position on the bleachers and glanced around.
âThis is way more people than I expected.â
âObviously,â Haejin replied.
âWhy obviously?â
She looked at you as if youâd asked something ridiculous.
âItâs the biggest match of the season.â
âOh.â
âYou didnât know that either?â
âNo.â
Haejin sighed. Sometimes you genuinely worried about her blood pressure whenever she talked to you. The teams began gathering on the field below. A few students immediately started cheering. Others waved at friends playing.
You found yourself mostly observing, until a familiar figure stepped onto the field. The annoying thing was that you recognized him immediately. Not because of the jersey, not because he was standing the closest, your eyes had simply found him automatically.
You hated that, a lot.
Before he hit you with the football, Seonghyeon wouldâve blended into the crowd of players. Now he stood out immediately. The realization was embarrassing enough that you quickly had to look elsewhere.
When you looked back a few moments later, your eyes found him again. And again. And again. It was becoming a problem.
The whistle blew.
The game began.
At first, you paid attention out of politeness. Haejin had dragged you here, after all. The least you could do was pretend to care. A few minutes passed. Then ten. Then twenty. Somewhere along the way, you realized you were actually watching.
Not football.
Seonghyeon.
The thing was, youâd never seen him like this before. At school, Seonghyeon always seemed relaxed and comfortable. The type of person who could walk into any room and immediately belong there. On the field, however, there was something different about him. He moved with an ease that made everything look effortless. Even from a distance, you could tell people listened when he spoke.
Teammates glanced toward him constantly. A few times, he called something out and everyone immediately adjusted. It was strange. Not because you hadnât known he played football. Because youâd never really thought about what that meant.
For the first time, you understood why so many people admired him. And for some reason, that realization made your stomach feel weird. Beside you, Haejin followed your gaze. Then smirked. You knew that smirk. It was never a good sign.
âWhat?â
âNothing.â
âHaejin.â
âI didnât say anything.â
âYouâre thinking something.â
âI am.â
You groaned.
âPlease donât.â
The smirk only grew.
Thankfully, before she could speak, the crowd suddenly erupted around you. Cheers echoed across the bleachers. Students jumped to their feet. You blinked.
Apparently something had happened. Unfortunately, youâd been too busy arguing with Haejin to notice.
âWhat happened?â
Haejin stared at you, then at the field, then back at you.
âYou werenât watching.â
âI was.â
âYou literally werenât.â
âWhat happened?â
She pointed toward the field and you followed her gaze. Seonghyeon was jogging back toward the center, teammates crowding around him.
âOh.â
âOh?â Haejin repeated.
âHe scored.â
âHe scored.â
You nodded.
For some reason, a smile pulled at your lips. A small one. One you didnât even notice until Haejin did. Her eyes widened immediately.
âWow.ââ
Your smile disappeared.
âWhat?â
âYou smiled.â
âSo?â
âYou smiled because he scored.â
Heat immediately rose to your face. You felt your ears swell.
âNo i didnât.â
âYou did.â
âI did not.â
âYou absolutely did.â
You looked away before she could continue. You werenât entirely sure she was wrong. That realization lingered for the rest of the match. Long after the cheering died down. Long after the game resumed. Long after youâd convinced yourself you were imagining things.
Because every time something happened on the field, your attention drifted toward the same person. Everytime he did something impressive, you felt strangely proud. As if youâd somehow earned the right.
Which was absurd.
You were still trying to convince yourself of that when the final whistle blew. The crowd immediately came alive. Students began standing, gathering their things, and making their way toward the exits. Some headed toward the field. Others were already talking excitedly about the game.
You stayed seated. Mostly because moving required effort. Partly because Haejin had disappeared five minutes ago after spotting someone she knew. Youâd just pulled out your phone when a shadow fell across you. You assumed it was Haejin. Then a familiar voice spoke.
âI need an unbiased opinion.â
You looked up.
And immediately wished you hadnât. Seonghyeon was standing there. Still wearing his uniform. Still slightly out of breath. His hair was damp from the game, falling messily across his forehead. For some reason, that bothered you.
Not because it looked bad, quite the opposite actually. Judging by the expression on his face, something had clearly bothered him.
âHello to you too.â
âThat can wait-ââ
You blinked.
âThatâs sort of concerning.â
âI was robbed.â
A pause.
ââDidnât you guys win?ââ
ââThatâs not the point.ââ
ââFeels like a pretty important point.ââ
Seonghyeon looked genuinely frustrated, his breathing was heavier since the game had ended.
ââThe referee was seriously against me.ââ
You stared at him for several seconds before you shifted in your seat.
ââYouâre one of those people?ââ
ââWhat?ââ
ââThe people who blame the referee everytime something doesnât go their way.ââ
ââIt didnât go my way.ââ
ââWell, you won.ââ
ââOf course i did.ââ
You laughed, the reaction was immediate.
ââYou didnât even pay attention.ââ
ââI was.ââ
ââNo you werenâtââ
ââHow would you know?ââ
ââBecause if you did, youâd be angry too.ââ
ââIâm not emotionally invested enough to be angry.ââ
The look he gave you suggested this was the wrong answer.
âOkay, imagine thisââ
ââOh-ââ
ââI score.ââ
ââYou score.ââ
ââA beautiful score.ââ
ââAccording to whom exactly?ââ
ââEverybody.ââ
ââMm.ââ
ââThen the referee- whoâs job is to observe accurately, calls it offside.ââ
You considered this, then shrugged.
ââWell- maybe it was offside.ââ
The betrayal on his face creeped up fast.
ââI swear it wasnât.ââ
ââWere you the referee?ââ
ââNo.ââ
ââThen how do you know?ââ
For a moment, Seonghyeon simply stared at you, then he pointed accusingly.
ââYouâre terrible at this.ââ
ââAt what?ââ
ââAt being supportive.ââ
ââYou wanted an unbiased opinion.ââ
ââI wanted you to agree with me.ââ
ââThatâs not quite what unbiased means.ââ
The corner of his mouth twitched. You knew he was competitive, he shot a football straight at you a few weeks ago.
ââYou know what? Nevermind.ââ
You laughed again.
This time, Seonghyeon shook his head dramatically and dropped down to the bleacher seat in front of you. The field behind him remained crowded with players and students slowly making their way home. Voices carried across the evening air while coaches gathered equipment near the sidelines.
âYou stayed for the whole match.â
The comment caught you off guard.
âWhat?â
âThe whole thing.â
He leaned back slightly.
âI thought youâd get bored and leave.â
You narrowed your eyes.
âYou have a very low opinion of me.â
âI watched you spend twenty minutes in a game store staring at absolutely nothing.â
âI was being supportive.â
âYou were wandering.â
âI was observing.â
âYou were probably lost.â
âI knew exactly where I was.â
âSure.â
You hated how satisfied he looked, with a smile to follow up on. His smile was genuine, like you could argue about anything- and it would still feel like you won, simply because he gave you that smile.
Then again, you hated how often he made you laugh. Before either of you could continue, a voice called from somewhere behind him.
âSeonghyeon!â
You looked up automatically.
A girl was jogging across the field toward the two of you, a bottle of water in one hand. She couldnât have been much older than you. She looked pretty, and confident. The type of person who seemed completely comfortable talking to anyone. The type of person you immediately disliked for absolutely no reason.
She stopped beside him and held out the bottle. âYou left this.â
âOh.â Seonghyeon took it.
âThanks.â
The interaction was completely normal.
The girl smiled. âNo problem.â
Then she started talking, and Seonghyeon talked back. Which again, was normal. Because why wouldnât he? But as you stood there listening to their conversation, a strange feeling settled in your chest. One you didnât particularly like. The girl seemed familiar with him, she was comfortable like this wasnât the first time theyâd spoken. Obviously it wasnât, Seonghyeon knew everyone. You already knew that.
Still, you found yourself looking away. Suddenly very interested in fixing the strap of your bag.
âYou coming to practice on monday?â the girl asked.
âYeah.â
âGood.â She grinned.
âCoach wouldâve killed you if you missed it.â
Seonghyeon laughed. The same laugh youâd spent the last few weeks becoming far too fond of. Hearing it now felt different, a little less special.
Youâd never thought it was special. Not really. Right? The realization hit, maybe that was the problem. You had.
At some point, without noticing, youâd started treating every conversation with Seonghyeon like it meant something. When in reality this was just who he was. He was friendly, easy to talk to. He was comfortable around everyone.
The girl finally glanced toward you.
âOh.â
For a second, she looked between the two of you then smiled politely.
âHi.â
âHi.â
The conversation lasted another minute or two.
You werenât really paying attention anymore because the stupid feeling in your chest had only gotten worse. Thankfully, someone else called Seonghyeonâs name from across the field. A teammate this time.
âSeonghyeon!â
He looked over, then back at you.
âI should probably go.â
The words were simple and harmless, but for some reason they felt disappointing.
âYeah,â you said.
âSee you monday?â
You smiled, disingeniously.
âSee you.â
The second he stood up and walked away, you knew something was wrong. Not with him, but with you. You spent the entire walk home thinking about a conversation that hadnât even involved you. You replayed everything, the exchanged conversation, his gaze, his laughter. You replayed him.
The realization irritated you more than anything else. It wasnât as if Seonghyeon had done something particularly memorable. Heâd talked to a teammate, thatâs all. The interaction had been completely normal, yet somehow your brain insisted on revisiting it every few hours like there was some hidden meaning youâd failed to uncover the first time around.
By monday morning, youâd become so annoyed with yourself that youâd practically banned yourself from thinking about him altogether. Unfortunately, that lasted less than a day.
School carried on as usual. Teachers assigned work, students complained about it, and Haejin continued collecting gossip the way other people collected hobbies, which was admirable really. Everything felt normal. At least until the end of third period.
Your teacher had been gathering her things when she suddenly bent down and picked something up from beside one of the desks near the front of the classroom. It was a dark grey hoodie, slightly oversized and folded in on itself as if somebody had shoved it underneath a chair and forgotten about it.
âDid someone leave this behind?â she asked, holding it up.
A few students glanced over before immediately losing interest, you looked up too and knew exactly who it belonged to.
The answer came so quickly that you didnât even question it at first. Seonghyeon. There wasnât a moment of hesitation, you simply looked at the hoodie and knew.
Maybe it was because youâd seen him wearing it countless times over the past few weeks. Maybe it was because it had become one of those things your brain automatically associated with him. Whatever the reason, the certainty came naturally enough that you barely thought twice about it.
Then somebody behind you spoke.
âOh, thatâs Seonghyeonâs.â
Somehow, it felt odd. It wasnât because theyâd confirmed it, it was more so because they hadnât told you anything you didnât already know.
The rest of the class moved on immediately. The teacher placed the hoodie on her desk, someone made a joke and within seconds everyone was talking about something else. Everyone except you.
For some reason, that insignificant moment refused to leave your head. You spent the next hour trying to convince yourself it meant nothing. It was just a hoodie. People recognized each otherâs belongings all the time. There was really nothing strange about it.
The argument wouldâve been much more convincing if you hadnât immediately noticed he wasnât wearing it during lunch. The realization hit you before you even saw his face.
Your eyes found him automatically across the cafeteria surrounded by Keonho, Martin, James and Juhoon, the same group of friends he was always with. The first thing your brain registered wasnât the conversation he was having or the fact that Keonho was laughing at something.
It was the absence of the hoodie. Thatâs why he looks different. You seriously didnât like this, you in fact hated it. Seonghyeon, whom you hadnât bat an eye on two months ago had occupied your mind the past four days. It was torture, simply because you refused to accept the thoughts. You denied everything, you brushed everything off and went about your day.
The following morning started with a problem. Not a particularly serious one, nor one that should have occupied more than a few seconds of your time, yet somehow you found yourself standing in front of your bedroom mirror far longer than necessary. Youâd already finished getting ready.
Your makeup was done, your uniform was on, your bag was packed and waiting by the door. By all accounts, you shouldâve been downstairs eating breakfast. Instead, you were still there staring at your reflection as if it had personally offended you. Something felt wrong.
The frustrating part was that you couldnât figure out what. Your hair looked fine, more than fine actually. You had spent enough time on it to ensure that. Yet your hand still reached up to smooth down a strand near your cheek before stepping back again.
A few seconds later you found yourself leaning toward the mirror adjusting something else, then immediately questioning whether it had looked better before. The cycle repeated itself often enough that by the time you finally checked the clock, nearly fifteen minutes had disappeared. You frowned. That couldnât be right.
Normally, getting ready in the morning wasnât something you thought much about. You liked looking presentable and usually put effort into your appearance, but there was a difference between effort and whatever this was. This felt suspiciously close to perfectionism, except there was nothing to perfect.
Every time you fixed one thing, your eyes immediately found something else to focus on. A different hairstyle. A little more lip tint. Maybe a different pair of earrings. None of the changes were dramatic enough for anyone else to notice, but you noticed them, and apparently that was enough to keep you rooted in front of the mirror like an idiot.
Moments later, your phone buzzed. Haejin was texting you.
HAEJIN
Overslept.
Canât make it to first period.
Meet you second periodđŽ
Haejin was a bit careless when it came to school. You donât think itâs on purpose, she just doesnât see the need to wake up at 7:30 AM for merely first period. She makes it so justifiable, so you guess you could see it from her perspective, however not today. Today, was an important day.
By the time first period began, you were already feeling self aware. Now, instead of sitting beside your best friend, you found yourself alone at your desk while the teacher droned on at the front of the classroom. The seat beside you remained empty, which felt strangely noticeable. Haejin had a way of filling every space she occupied, and without her there the morning seemed significantly quieter.
When the bell finally rang, you gathered your things and stepped into the hallway with no particular destination in mind. Your next class was on the opposite side of the building, leaving you with more than enough time to get there. Normally, you would have spent the break with Haejin. Today however, you found yourself wandering alone through the crowded hallways.
âY/n, hey.ââ
The familiar voice made you turn immediately.
Seonghyeon stood a few feet away, one strap of his backpack slung over his shoulder. For a moment, your brain supplied an extremely unhelpful thought.
Did he notice?
You hated yourself instantly.
Notice what?
Your hair?
Your makeup?
The fact that youâd spent half your morning acting like a love island contestant? Thankfully, Seonghyeon seemed completely unaware of the spiraling thoughts currently unfolding.
âHaejinâs late,â you explained before he could ask. Before you could think of a more logical answer, like a simple hey.
Seriously?
What does Haejin have to do with this?
Why would he care?
Seonghyeon almost surpressed his reaction.
ââOh- right.ââ
He was confused. Did you think he approached you to talk to Haejin? He didnât read much into it though.
However, he did notice something was different about you today.
At first, he couldnât figure out what it was.
Maybe your hair looked different. Maybe your makeup. Whatever it was, it gave you a slightly softer appearance than usual. Not dramatically different, just enough to make him pause for a second longer than normal.
âYou look tiredâ he said instead.
You stared at him. Of all the things he couldâve said.
âTired?â
âYeah.â
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
âDidnât sleep?â
The betrayal you felt was immediate. You had spent an embarrassing amount of time getting ready this morning. An embarrassing amount. And somehow the only conclusion heâd reached was that you looked tired. For a brief moment, you considered pushing him down the nearest staircase.
âThatâs offensive.â
His eyebrows lifted slightly.
âWhat?â
âNothing.â
âNo, tell me.â
âIâm choosing peace.â
Seonghyeon laughed.
Unfortunately, the sound did absolutely nothing to improve your mood. If anything, it made it worse. Because now all you could think about was the twenty minutes youâd wasted staring at yourself in the mirror. The universe clearly had a sense of humor.
âYou look fine, by the way.â
The comment was casual. So casual that he probably didnât think twice about saying it. You however, nearly forgot how to function. Before you could respond, Martin called Seonghyeonâs name from farther down the hallway. He looked over his shoulder, then back at you.
âIâll see you later.â And just like that, he was gone.
Leaving you standing in the middle of the hallway wondering why two completely harmless words had managed to ruin the rest of your morning. The rest of the day passed surprisingly quickly after that.
Haejin eventually arrived halfway through second period carrying the same energy she always did, immediately filling the empty space beside you with stories, complaints and dramatic retellings of how she had supposedly fallen victim to circumstances completely beyond her control.
According to her, the blame rested entirely on a combination of faulty alarms, unfair school schedules and a universe that seemed personally determined to make her suffer.
The rest of the day continued pretty much the same way. Haejin spent most of her time insisting she was being unfairly persecuted by the education system. By the final bell, you had almost forgotten about the awkward interaction from that morning. Almost. Unfortunately, while you were fully prepared to go home, Haejin apparently had other plans.
âIâll be two minutes.â
âYou said that fifteen minutes ago.â
âThis time I mean it.â
âYou also meant it last time.â
Ignoring you entirely, she disappeared back into the building after being stopped by a teacher regarding an assignment she had forgotten to submit. So you waited.
The afternoon air was cool, carrying the familiar sounds of students lingering around school grounds before heading home.
Groups gathered near the entrance, conversations overlapping as people delayed going home for as long as possible. You had been scrolling through your phone for several minutes when a football rolled across the pavement a few meters away. Your eyes followed it automatically.
Several members of the football team had gathered near the edge of the courtyard, passing time before practice. Some were kicking a ball around while others leaned against a nearby fence talking amongst themselves. The sight wouldâve gone largely unnoticed if Haejin hadnât finally emerged from the building at that exact moment.
âOh.â
âWhat?â
Her eyes lit up. âKeonhoâs here.â
Before you could stop her, sheâd already started walking.
âHaejin.â
No response.
âHaejin.â
Still nothing.
Sometimes you genuinely believed she could hear only the things she wanted to hear. Unfortunately, Keonho seemed equally enthusiastic. A few minutes later, the two of them had somehow dragged everyone into the same conversation.
You werenât entirely sure how it happened. One moment you were waiting for Haejin, the next you were standing in a loose circle listening to Keonho passionately argue that football players deserved special treatment during exam season.
âYou kick a ball around.â
âThatâs not all we do.â
âThatâs literally what football is.â Seonghyeon let out a faint laugh. Keonho pointed at him immediately.
âSee? He understands.â
âI didnât say anything.â
âYour silence supports me.â
The conversation drifted from one topic to another after that. Homework became complaints about teachers, which somehow turned into stories from middle school and then an argument over who had the worst attendance record. At some point, Keonho glanced toward Seonghyeon.
âActually, speaking of people abandoning their friends.â Seonghyeon already looked tired.
âYou spend more time talking to y/n than you do with me nowadays.â
The comment earned a laugh from Haejin. You wished it hadnât, because now everyone was looking at the two of you. Seonghyeon meanwhile, seemed completely unaffected.
âYouâre being dramatic.â
âIâm serious.â
For a second, Keonho gestured vaguely between the two of you as though presenting evidence to a jury. The response came easily. Without hesitation. Without even a second of thought.
âSheâs just a friend.â
The following morning began with rain.
Not the kind that belonged in movies, where people stared moodily out of windows while life changing realizations unfolded in the background. This was ordinary rain. Annoying rain. The sort that turned sidewalks slippery and made umbrellas feel completely useless because somehow you still ended up getting wet anyway.
By the time you arrived at school, your shoes were damp, your patience was gone and Haejin was already waiting by the entrance looking personally offended by the weather. She immediately launched into a five minute rant about how rain should be illegal before eight in the morning, only pausing long enough to complain about an upcoming assignment and the fact that she had forgotten to study for a quiz she apparently hadnât known existed until fifteen minutes ago.
The conversation continued all the way to class. Then through first period. Then through half of second period. That was one of the things you liked most about Haejin. Being around her left very little room for overthinking. Unfortunately not no room, just very little.
The thought arrived sometime during lunch. You were sitting across from Haejin while she attempted to convince three people that she deserved compensation for having to wake up before sunrise every day. Around you, the cafeteria buzzed with the usual noise of conversations, laughter and the occasional argument over stolen food. It was normal. Completely normal.
Yet for some reason, you found yourself looking up whenever the doors opened. The first time, you didnât think much of it. The second time, you barely noticed. The third time however, you caught yourself doing it and immediately looked back down at your food. That was strange. You frowned slightly.
Because you knew exactly what you had been looking for. Or rather, who. The thought irritated you far more than it should have. The problem was that it happened automatically. You had not consciously wondered where Seonghyeon was. You hadnât been sitting there waiting for him to appear. Your eyes had simply searched the room on their own before your brain had the chance to stop them. Annoying. Deeply annoying. Across from you, Haejin paused mid-sentence.
ââŠWhy do you look angry?â
âIâm not angry.â
âYou look like it.â
âIâm thinking.â
âThat explains nothing.â
You stabbed a french fry with considerably more force than necessary. Haejin narrowed her eyes immediately. Never a good sign.
âWhat happened?â
âNothing.â
âThatâs a lie.â
âIt isnât.â
âIt literally is.â
You sighed. The problem with having a best friend for years was that they became impossible to fool.
âYou know,â Haejin continued, leaning back in her chair âmost people donât glare at potatoes unless something is bothering them.â
For a brief moment, you considered telling her. Not everything. Then immediately decided against it. Mostly because hearing your thoughts out loud would somehow make the situation significantly worse, and because deep down there was a part of you that already knew exactly what Haejin would say. The problem was that you werenât entirely sure you wanted to hear it.
If someone had asked Seonghyeon whether anything had changed over the past couple of weeks, he probably wouldâve said no.
Life looked exactly the same as it always had. Football practice continued to consume most of his afternoons and Keonho remained committed to making every situation at least twice as loud as necessary. The days blended together in the way school days often did. One class became another. One week became the next. Nothing particularly significant seemed to happen. At least, that was what he thought.
The realization didnât arrive all at once. It wasnât grand. It wasnât even particularly noticeable at first. Instead, it appeared in small moments and then disappeared again before he could properly think about it. A hallway conversation that felt strangely short. An empty seat during lunch that shouldnât have mattered. The first few times, he ignored it. By the tenth, it was becoming difficult to.
Thursday afternoon found him sitting through one of the most painfully boring lessons of the semester. Even the teacher seemed tired of listening to himself speak. Around the classroom, students had long since given up pretending to pay attention. Some were doodling in notebooks, others were staring blankly out windows, and James had somehow managed to fall asleep while sitting upright. Honestly, it was impressive.
Seonghyeonâs attention had drifted somewhere around twenty minutes earlier. His notebook remained open in front of him, untouched except for a few half finished notes written without much thought behind them. He wasnât really looking at anything in particular when the teacher suddenly stopped speaking and sighed.
Immediately, several students sat up. The word easier had that effect.
The teacher began asking questions instead, pointing at different students around the room whenever he needed an answer. Most people responded with varying levels of enthusiasm. Some answered correctly. Others guessed. One student somehow managed to produce an answer so incorrect that the entire class burst out laughing. Including Seonghyeon. For some reason, the moment reminded him of y/n. The thought appeared so unexpectedly that he almost frowned.
It wasnât even a specific memory. Just a vague association. Something about the expression she wouldâve made if sheâd heard the answer. The way she tried not to laugh when she found something funny. The way she usually looked away immediately afterward as if being caught smiling was somehow embarrassing. For a second, he found himself glancing toward the row she usually sat in. Then paused, because that was strange. He hadnât spoken to y/n properly in what felt like ages. It didnât make sense.
A few weeks ago, running into her had somehow become normal. Conversations before class. Conversations after class. Random interactions in hallways that stretched far longer than either of them intended. Nothing major. Just enough that heâd stopped noticing when they happened.
Now he was noticing when they didnât. The thought lingered for the rest of the lesson. Then followed him into the hallway. Then all the way to lunch. By the time football practice started, he still hadnât managed to shake it. People got busy, that was all. School happened, life happened. There was no reason to think about it this much.
Unfortunately, that explanation became slightly harder to believe when he realized he couldnât remember the last actual conversation theyâve had.
Instead, he found himself standing on the edge of the football field staring at absolutely nothing while the rest of the team warmed up around him.
âEarth to Seonghyeon.â
Martinâs voice snapped him out of it.
âWhat?â
âYouâve been staring at the same patch of grass for thirty seconds.â
Seonghyeon blinked.
Had he? Apparently. Keonho narrowed his eyes immediately.
âWhat are you thinking about?â
âNothing.â
âLiar.â
Seonghyeon didnât understand why he had thought about it this much. He wasnât the type to. Heâd logically examine situations, come up with a logical answer and move on with his day. Somehow this was different, yet he couldnât pinpoint why.
Keonho had never been the type of person to let things go. In fact, if Seonghyeon had to describe him using a single phrase, it would probably be incapable of minding his own business. The moment practice ended, Keonhoâs attention returned to the subject with the determination of somebody investigating a crime.
At first, Seonghyeon didnât even realize it was happening. The team had just finished collecting equipment, everyone moving around the field in various states of exhaustion while the sun slowly disappeared behind the school buildings. Conversations overlapped from every direction.
Somebody was complaining about the coach, somebody else was arguing about where to eat afterward and a football rolled across the grass before being kicked back toward a storage cart. Everything felt normal. Until Keonho appeared beside him. That wasnât unusual. The fact that he remained there in complete silence however, definitely was.
For several seconds he simply walked beside him without saying anything. Coming from Keonho, that was concerning enough on its own. When Seonghyeon finally glanced over, he immediately regretted it. Keonho was already staring at him. âWhy are you looking at me like that?â Seonghyeon asked.
âIâm thinking.â
A sigh escaped him. The evening air had turned noticeably cooler now, students gradually filtering away from the field in small groups as the noise around them slowly faded into the distance. For a brief moment it almost seemed like Keonho might finally drop the subject. Then he spoke again.
âYou know what I think?â
âNo.â
âI think youâre lying.â
Seonghyeon barely reacted. Mostly because this conversation happened at least three times a week.
âAbout what?â
âI donât know yet.â
The answer was so stupid that a laugh almost escaped him.
âNo, seriously.â Keonho adjusted the strap of his bag before continuing. âYouâve been zoning out lately.â
That got his attention. It wasnât the first time heâd heard something similar. Over the past week different people had made almost identical observations often enough that it was becoming difficult to ignore. Martin had asked whether he was tired. His mother had asked whether something was bothering him. Even the coach had commented on him being distracted during practice yesterday.
At the time Seonghyeon had brushed all of it off. Now however, standing on the sidewalk outside the school while Keonho kicked absentmindedly at loose gravel beside him, he found himself wondering whether they all had a point.
The problem was that he couldnât figure out what exactly was different. Or rather, he could. He just didnât particularly like the answer. Because every time he started pulling at the loose thread of the thought, it somehow led back to the same place. The same person. The same question. When was the last time heâd actually talked to y/n?
Not seen her. Not waved at her from the other end of a hallway. Talked to her, a proper conversation. The answer shouldâve come immediately. Instead, he found himself drawing a blank.
And for reasons he couldnât explain, that really bothered him.
By the time he got home later that evening, dropped his bag beside the door and collapsed onto his bed, the thought was still there. Which was annoying, because he had homework to finish and football practice again tomorrow. He had significantly more important things to think about. Yet somehow, while staring at the ceiling of his room, his mind drifted back to the same thing. He dug deep into his thoughts.
The first time was almost laughably insignificant. Class had just ended, and students were spilling into the hallways at every direction. Seonghyeon had been halfway through putting his books away when he spotted y/n a little farther down the corridor.
She was standing beside her locker, listening to something Haejin was saying. Or rather, dramatically performing. Haejinâs hands were moving so aggressively that even from a distance it looked less like a conversation and more like an emergency press conference.
Without really thinking about it, Seonghyeon started heading that way.
Then suddenly y/n grabbed Haejin by the wrist and dragged her around the corner. Gone. Seonghyeon stopped walking, he had simply stared at the space where sheâd been stadning.
ââWhy are you just standing there?ââ
He looked over and Juhoon was staring at him.
ââNothing-ââ
Juhoon looked unconvinced.
The second time happened during lunch, Seonghyeon had just entered the cafeteria when he noticed y/n sitting at her usual table. For some reason, the sight made him smile.
He grabbed his tray and joined his friends. Halfway through Jamesâs completely unecessary rant about him having to balance both the exams- since heâs a few years older, and football practice, Seonghyeon glanced across the cafeteria again.
The seat was empty, he frowned.
ââHow dare they stack up on exams the second football season gets serious? I canât be expected to memorize biology and score goals.ââ
Yeah that was just background noise for Seonghyeon.
The third time was when it had actually started bothering him. School had ended, and the campus was filled by students and chatter. Seonghyeon, Keonho, Juhoon, Martin and James stood in front of the school, talking while Martin shot the basketball into the hoop continuously.
Suddenly, he spotted y/n coming out of the main entrance. She was carrying a bag over her shoulder, already heading toward the front gate. He considered calling her name, the thought had appeared automatically. Then he paused. Because that would be weird, wouldnât it? He wasnât even sure what he wouldâve said. Hey? Hello? Why have we apparently forgotten how to exist in the same space lately?
Before he could decide, a group of guys crossed between them. By the time they passed, she had already disappeared around the corner. That annoyed him.
He found himself looking for her the next day. Which felt ridiculous, thatâs what he told himself while scanning the cafeteria without realizing he was doing it. He didnât understand why it had bothered him so much.
Everytime he looked up, she seemed to walk the other way. He couldâve sworn she stood wherever he saw her, then poof sheâs gone again. He missed talking to her. The more he thought about it, the more he realized y/n hadnât actually disappeared. She was still around.
The strange thing about time was that it continued moving whether you wanted it to or not.
A few weeks ago, youâd convinced yourself that liking Seonghyeon was some life altering catastrophe. Every conversation felt important. Every interaction lingered longer than it should have. Youâd spent an embarrassing amount of energy thinking about things that in hindsight, probably didnât deserve nearly that much attention.
Now however, life had begun settling back into place. It wasnât really because your feelings had disappeared, they hadnât. You still liked him, that much obvious.
The difference was that it felt like your entire existence no longer revolved around it. Somehow, focusing on all ordinary frustrations had made everything else feel smaller. For the first time in a while, you felt like yourself again, which was probably why you agreed to help one of your teachers after class.
It seemed harmless enough at the time. It was just a simple favour, five minutes of your time. Unfortunately, teachers had a very different understanding of the word simple. Twenty minutes later, you found yourself carrying what felt like the entire contents of a storage room through one of the academic buildings.
A stack of folders was balanced precariously against your chest, several textbooks were tucked underneath one arm and a plastic container filled with miscellaneous classroom supplies kept threatening to slide out of your grasp every time you took a step.
You couldnât see properly.
You couldnât walk properly.
You were beginning to suspect your teacher had deliberately chosen you because you looked too polite to say no.
The hallway itself was mostly empty. Classes had ended nearly half an hour ago, leaving only the occasional student lingering behind for clubs, sports or whatever mysterious activities seemed to keep people at school long after everyone else had gone home. The combination of limited visibility and questionable balance meant you didnât notice someone approaching from the opposite direction.
Not until it was too late.
The collision wasnât dramatic, nobofy went flying across the hallway, well just the stack of folders that immediately tilted sideways, and the plastic container that slipped- oh and a pencil case launched itself onto the floor.
And before you could react, several sheets of paper had already escaped and scattered across the hallway like they were making a run for freedom. For one dreadful second, you simply stood there staring. Of course this was happening. Then a voice spoke.
âWhoa.â
You froze. Slowly, you looked up.
Seonghyeon looked just as surprised as you felt, then he looked down at the disaster surrounding your feet. Then back up at you. Then back down again. A smile appeared.
âDonât.â
âIâm not saying anything.â
âYouâre thinking something.â
âI am.â
You sighed.
âGreat.â
The smile widened slightly.
Without another word, he crouched down and began gathering the papers scattered across the floor.
You hated how familiar the sight felt.
A few months ago, seeing Eom Seonghyeon kneeling on a hallway floor collecting your homework wouldâve felt absurd. Now it barely registered as unusual. Together, the two of you began collecting the mess. Most of it in silence. The kind that had somehow become normal between you before either of you noticed.
The strange thing was that for the first time in weeks, you werenât hyperaware of him. You werenât overthinking every word, you werenât wondering what something meant. You were simply trying to stop your papers from disappearing underneath a nearby vending machine.
âYou know,â Seonghyeon said eventually, handing over another folder âfor somebody who was late because of a pen, I feel like this tracks.â
You stared at him then immediately groaned.
âNo.â
âOh, yes.â
âThat happened once.â
âYou were defeated by a mere pen.â
âI wasnât defeated.â
âYou absolutely were.â
To your annoyance, a laugh escaped before you could stop it. The sound earned a grin from him. The folders had been restacked, the notebooks gathered and the loose papers that had scattered across half the hallway had been retrieved. Only one sheet remained. It had drifted farther than the others. The hallway itself had grown noticeably quieter during the few minutes.
You moved first, or atleast you thought you did. The second you stepped forward, Seonghyeon did too. The realization seemed to hit both of you simultaneously. You stopped, he stopped. The paper remained exactly where it was.
ââGo ahead.ââ
You looked up.
ââWhat?ââ
ââYou saw it first.ââ
ââNo i didnâtââ
ââYou did.ââ
ââI was being polite.ââ
ââYouâre never polite.ââ
The response left his mouth so quickly that he seemed to realize what he had said only afterward. You stared at him, and he stared back. Then a smile appeared, it was small. The kind that always seemed to show up before he could stop it.
ââYou know what i mean.ââ
ââDo i?ââ
ââNo.ââ
You smiled- it was stupid. You loved the conversations, you missed them. Both of you moved at the same time again. The result was immediate. Your shoulders bumped together.
ââOw.ââ
You immediately laughed in shock. He was being dramatic, it was a small bump.
The past few weeks suddenly seemed a little ridiculous. Seonghyeon spent so much time wondering why something felt off only to discover the answer was embarrassingly simple. Heâd missed this aswell.
Haejin had never been particularly interested in making your life easier. The first sign of trouble appeared at exactly 5:34 PM on a Saturday.
Your phone buzzed.
Haejin
Can i come overrrr~
You stared at the message. Of course she could, rather it was weird she didnât show up at your door to ask that.
You
obv
Three dots appeared almost immediately.
Haejin
keonho is coming too apparently
You
Oh
Why?
Haejin
because heâs annoying and wonât leave me alone
he just texted me
heâs already on the bus
Before you could gather your thoughts to respond, another message arrived.
Haejin
oh Seonghyeonâs coming too
You nearly dropped your phone.
The thirty minutes Haejin had promised turned into forty three. Not that you were counting. You absolutely werenât. The problem was that once somebody informed you that Haejin, Keonho and more importantly- Seonghyeon would be entering your house, suddenly every insignificant detail became a problem.
The blanket draped over the couch looked wrong. The cushions looked wrong. The stack of books sitting on the coffee table looked wrong. Even the framed photo sitting on the shelf near the television somehow looked wrong despite having remained in the exact same position for nearly three years. You were in the middle of rearranging the cushions for the third time when a voice spoke from behind you.
ââIs Haejin coming over?ââ
Your mother stood in the doorway between the kitchen and living room. Her eyes moved from you to the perfectly arranged couch, then to the freshly folded blanket, then to the coffee table youâd wiped down approximately fifteen minutes ago.
You nodded, before following it up.
ââAnd two other friends.ââ
ââThatâs fine- Should i go make something? A snackplate? Cut up some fruits?ââ
ââNo, thatâs okay.ââ
The doorbell rang. The sound practically echoed throughout the house. The second your hand touched the doorknob, you could swear your heart dropped, like seriously. The door opened, and Haejin immediately walked inside without waiting for an invitation.
ââHello to you too.ââ You said.
ââThank you.ââ
ââWhat?ââ
Behind her came Keonho, then Seonghyeon.
For some reason, seeing him standing on your doorstep felt stranger than seeing him anywhere else. Maybe because heâs become so firmly associated with school that your brain momentarily struggled to place him here. There was no football field, no hallway. Just your front porch, and Seonghyeon standing on it looking mildly uncomfortable beneath your scrunity. There was a long pause, it felt awkward.
ââHi.ââ
Immediately, you wanted to throw yourself into traffic. It was a groundbreaking greeting, really. Thankfully, Seonghyeon wasnât much better.
ââHi.ââ
Behind him, Keonho sighed dramatically. ââThis is painful.ââ
The two of them stepped inside while Haejin continued acting like she had lived there for years. Almost immediately, your mother appeared from the kitchen.
ââHello, dear.ââ
ââHi!ââ
The response came so naturally that it sounded like a part of a routine they had performed hundreds of times before. Then your mother looked toward the boys. Before Seonghyeon could do anything, Keonho stepped forward.
ââIâm Keonho,ââ
ââNice to meet you.ââ
ââAnd thatâs Seonghyeon.ââ
A brief silence followed. Seonghyeon looked over, Keonho looked back.
ââI can introduce myself.ââ
ââYou were taking too long.ââ
ââYou spoke first.ââ
ââExactly.ââ
Your mother laughed.
ââItâs nice to meet both of you.ââ
ââNice to meet you too.ââ Seonghyeon replied, then bowed out of respect, Keonho followed. Hearing him speak to your mother felt oddly surreal. Your mother smiled politely.
The second everyone made it upstairs, the energy somehow shifted.
Maybe it was because school had become such a permanent backdrop to all of your interactions that seeing those same people inside your house felt strangely unnatural. Haejin immediately made herself comfortable. Keonho wasnât much better.
He wandered around without shame, examining random objects on your shelves with the confidence of somebody who had been granted permission despite the fact nobody had actually given him any. Meanwhile, you found yourself standing near your desk, suddenly hyperaware of everything around you.
The room wasnât messy. That wasnât the problem. The problem was that it was yours.
School only allowed people to know certain versions of each other. Hallway conversations. Lunch breaks. Shared classes. Small pieces. Nobody saw what happened outside of that. Nobody saw your room at midnight when you were studying for exams. Nobody saw the stuff lying on your vanity or the old concert tickets tucked into your mirror frame. Nobody saw the photos you had forgotten were hanging on the wall until this exact moment.
And Seonghyeon seemed to notice everything.
Not in an obvious way. He wasnât walking around inspecting things. If anything, he seemed quieter than usual. While Keonho was busy making himself at home and Haejin was already flopped across your bed scrolling through her phone, Seonghyeonâs gaze occasionally drifted around the room before moving elsewhere again. Small observations. Brief glances. Yet somehow those felt worse. You couldnât tell whether he was actually paying attention or whether your brain was simply inventing reasons to be nervous.
âYou definitely cleaned.â
You immediately looked at Haejin.
âNo.â
âYes you did.â
âI didnât.â
âYou moved something.â
âI didnât.â
Haejinâs eyes slowly travelled across the room.
âThe cushions downstairs.â
You hated her.
The smile spreading across her face told you sheâd won.
âOh my god. You did move the cushions.â
âI hate talking to you.â
From somewhere beside the bookshelf, a laugh escaped Keonho.
âYou cleaned for us?â
âIt wasnât for you.â
The room fell silent for half a second before Haejin started laughing because of Keonhoâs reaction. The next hour passed surprisingly quickly. Conversations drifted from one topic to another without much direction. Somebody brought up an old teacher. That somehow became a discussion about embarrassing middle school memories. Then football. Then exams. Then an argument, nobody actually cared about the answer. The argument continued anyway.
At some point, somebody stole your blanket. At some point, Keonho and Haejin became invested in a debate so stupid that the original topic had long since been forgotten.
âYou are fundamentally misunderstanding the point.â
âI understand it perfectly.â
âNo, you donât.â
âYouâre just wrong.â
âIâm always right.â
âThatâs not how opinions work.â
Watching them argue was a bit like watching two people accidentally start a fire and then continue pouring gasoline on it.
Eventually, they ended up sitting on the floor near your television, completely absorbed in whatever nonsense they were discussing now. For the first time all afternoon, the room became quieter. You were sitting near the edge of your bed, scrolling through your phone while the sound of Haejin and Keonho arguing faded into the background. Beside you, Seonghyeon sat comfortably against the wall. Neither of you were really speaking.
The silence wasnât awkward. A few months ago, silence between you wouldâve felt unbearable. Now it barely registered. You scrolled past an old photo without thinking, then immediately scrolled back. A small laugh escaped you.
âWhat?â
You glanced up.
âNothing.â
âThatâs never true.â
You looked back down at the screen.
âIt was from middle school.â
âLet me see.â
Without thinking, you handed him your phone but the second you did, you regretted it. Because the photo was awful. Seonghyeon looked at the screen, then looked at you. He smiled.
âWhat?â His smile widened.
âYou look twelve.â
âI was twelve.â
âYou look younger than twelve.â
âGive it back.â
You reached for the phone. At the exact same moment he pulled it slightly away, your hand brushed against his. The movement was tiny, it was barely anything. Yet both of you froze for a second. The noise from the rest of the room suddenly felt strangely distant. You werenât sure why, it was stupid. People accidentally touched hands all the time, nothing shouldâve happened.
Then Seonghyeon handed the phone back.
And somewhere across the room, Haejin suddenly yelled:
âTHATâS LITERALLY NOT WHAT I SAID.â
Seonghyeon didnât realize he was still thinking about it until he walked straight into his bedroom door. The impact wasnât hard enough to hurt, but it was embarrassing enough that he immediately looked around despite being completely alone. A second later he let out a quiet groan and rubbed a hand over his face.
A few minutes later after showering and changing into comfortable clothes, he found himself sitting on the edge of his bed with a towel draped around his neck. His phone had been abandoned somewhere beside him. Downstairs, he could faintly hear the television playing. Everything felt normal. The day was over. There was absolutely no reason for him to still be thinking about it.
Nothing important had happened. They had gone to y/nâs house, wasted an entire afternoon doing nothing productive, listened to Keonho and Haejin argue about things neither of them cared enough to remember and eventually gone home. That was it. Yet every time Seonghyeon tried focusing on something else, his mind drifted right back there again.
The strangest part wasnât that he had seen y/nâs room for the first time. It wasnât even that he had spent several hours with her outside of school. It was the fact that every new thing he had learned about her somehow felt oddly expected. Not because he knew those things already, but because they fit.
The way everything looked slightly messy until you paid attention and realized there was a system behind it. Even the way sheâd reacted whenever somebody pointed something out. Half embarrassed. Half annoyed. Like she wanted people to know her but only on her own terms.
A quiet laugh escaped him before he could stop it. He could already imagine how offended sheâd be if she knew he was sitting here psychoanalyzing her bedroom.The thought shouldâve ended there, instead another one immediately followed.
The look on her face when Haejin exposed the fact that she had obviously cleaned before they arrived. The way she tried denying it despite the evidence being painfully obvious. Then the laugh sheâd let out later. Then the smile sheâd been trying not to show when he teased her.
Seonghyeon dropped backward onto his mattress and stared at the ceiling. There it was again. That same problem. Every thought somehow led back to her. It was infuriating, itâs like his brain had no originality.
He had known y/n for what? A couple of months? Yet lately it felt like she kept appearing in places she wasnât even supposed to be. In random thoughts, in conversations, in moments where he was supposed to be focusing on literally anything else. It was getting harder and harder to ignore. For the first time, Seonghyeon found himself staring directly at a possibility he had been avoiding for weeks. Not accepting it. Definitely not accepting it. Just looking at it from a safe distance. Then immediately backing away.
Nope, absolutely not.
For a long moment he simply layed there with one arm thrown across his face, feeling increasingly annoyed with himself. Because the more he thought about it, the worse his life defense became. Maybe there wasnât some complicated explanation. Maybe the reason he had spent weeks looking for her in crowded hallways, noticing when she wasnât around, and wondering why everything felt different lately wasnât because something weird was happening.
Maybe the problem was much simpler than that, and thatâs exactly why he didnât wanna think about it, didnât wanna consider it.
The problem started with a pencil.
Not because the pencil itself was important. It wasnât. The pencil belonged to Keonho, who had somehow managed to drop it three separate times during a single class period. By the third time, the teacher looked ready to launch it out the nearest window.
A few people around the classroom were already trying and failing to hide their laughter, while Keonho seemed completely oblivious to the fact that he was seconds away from becoming someoneâs least favorite student.
Normally, Seonghyeon wouldâve found this entertaining. He probably wouldâve made a comment. Maybe laughed. Maybe joined Martin in making fun of Keonho later. Instead, he was staring out the classroom window, his attention drifting somewhere beyond the teacherâs voice and the half finished notes sitting in front of him.
He wasnât thinking about anything in particular. At least, that was what he told himself. The lesson had become background noise a long time ago, blending together with the scratching of pencils, turning pages and the occasional sigh from students who had already mentally checked out for the day.
Outside, students crossed the courtyard below in small groups. Some were heading back toward the academic building after lunch while others lingered near the benches despite the fact that the break had ended nearly ten minutes ago. From up here everyone looked smaller, moving through familiar routines without much urgency. It was the sort of thing he wouldâve glanced at for a second before looking away.
Then movement caught his attention. Someone familiar stepped through the courtyard gate. Immediately, his eyes followed. Which wouldâve been fine if he hadnât recognized her from half a building away. That felt excessive.
The distance alone shouldâve made it impossible. He couldnât even properly see her face from here. Yet somehow he had known it was y/n before he consciously registered any actual details. Before he thought about it. Before he even realized he was paying attention.
She was walking beside somebody. Just some guy from their year that Seonghyeon vaguely recognized. For a moment, he found himself watching longer than necessary. Not because anything unusual was happening. The opposite, actually. They were just talking. The guy said something and y/n laughed before shaking her head slightly. Then the conversation continued as if nothing had happened.
Have they always been friends?
Worked on a project together?
Why was he even thinking about this?
Because he genuinely didnât care. He shouldnât, atleast. His eyes remained fixed on the courtyard for another moment before he finally looked away. The strange thing was that nothing about the situation actually bothered him. Y/n was allowed to talk to whoever she wanted. She was allowed to have other friends. The thought shouldnât have occupied more than two seconds of his attention.
The thought lingered for the rest of the lesson. It followed him when the bell rang, when students immediately began shoving books into bags and when Keonho somehow dropped the same pencil again while standing up.
Seonghyeon barely heard Martin laughing about it beside him. His attention had drifted elsewhere. Not toward the courtyard anymore, but toward the uncomfortable realization itself. A few months ago, he wouldnât have noticed.
A few months ago, y/n wouldâve blended into the hundreds of students moving around campus every day. Not really because there was anything forgettable about her, but because she had never given people a reason to look twice. She wasnât loud. She didnât try to draw attention to herself. Half the time she seemed perfectly content existing just outside the center of things.
The weather was unusually good, good enough that nobody wanted to spend lunch indoors. The football field, basketball court and every bench around campus were crowded with students taking advantage of the rare sunshine. Conversations echoed across the courtyard.
Seonghyeon sat on a low concrete wall near the basketball court with Martin, Keonho, James and Juhoon. Or rather, everyone else was sitting. Martin had somehow convinced himself he was the next basketball prodigy and had spent the last ten minutes repeatedly shooting the same ball at the hoop missing every time.
âYou know,â James said, watching another failed attempt, âat some point this becomes a public safety hazard.â
Martin caught the rebound.
âYou people donât understand greatness.â
âStick to football, please.â
Martin looked offended.
Beside them, Keonho was lying dramatically across the wall as if heâd just survived a life threatening event.
âIâve decided something.â
Nobody reacted.
âIâm serious.â
Still nothing.
âYou guys never support me.â
Juhoon didnât even look up from his phone. âThatâs because your ideas are usually terrible.â
âSee? Exactly what Iâm talking about.â
James sighed.
âWhat realization have you had now?â
Keonho sat up immediately.
âI should get priority in the cafeteria queue.â
ââWhy?ââ
ââBecause iâm an athlete.ââ
âââŠand so are we.ââ
ââYeaaaaah- whatever.ââ Keonho immediately leaned back again.
The bookstore had always felt different after sunset.
Because there were fewer people around, or because the street outside became quieter once the shops started closing for the evening. Whatever the reason, everything seemed softer at night. The warm yellow lights reflected against the shelves, the air smelled faintly of paper and old wood and somewhere near the front counter low music played quietly enough that it blended into the background. It was one of the reasons you came here so often. Nobody bothered you. You could spend an hour staring at the same shelf and nobody would question it.
Which was exactly what you had been doing for the last ten minutes. At least until a familiar voice drifted from somewhere deeper in the store. You didnât react immediately. At first your brain simply registered the sound as familiar. Then a second passed. Then another. And suddenly your head snapped up.
For a brief moment you genuinely convinced yourself you were imagining things. The possibility wouldâve been less embarrassing than the alternative. Slowly, you stepped around the end of a bookshelf and glanced down the next aisle. Immediately, your stomach betrayed you.
Because standing near the back of the store was Seonghyeon. Not somebody who looked like him. It was him. Seeing him here felt like spotting a teacher at the grocery store. Not wrong exactly, just unsettling enough to force your brain to restart.
He was standing beside a rolling cart filled with books, listening while the owner explained something. Every now and then he would nod before reaching over to place another book onto a shelf. Judging by how comfortably he moved around the store, this clearly wasnât his first time here. Then the owner noticed you. His face brightened instantly. âY/n.â
Oh great, Seonghyeon was turning around too. For a second, surprise crossed his face. Then he smiled. The same smile that had become increasingly dangerous for your emotional wellbeing over the past few months.
âHey.ââ
It still managed to make your heart forget how to function. The owner looked between the two of you before immediately deciding this was the most entertaining thing that had happened all week.
âYou two know each other?â
The silence that followed felt unnecessarily heavy. Technically, the answer was simple. Still, none of you spoke immediately. Eventually Seonghyeon answered first. âWe go to school together.â
The owner looked unconvinced. You understood why. Because there was something suspicious about the way Seonghyeon had smiled while saying it. As if the answer was technically true. Just not the entire truth.
The owner eventually disappeared toward the front of the store after receiving a late delivery, leaving the two of you alone with several half empty shelves and a cart stacked with books that apparently needed to be reorganized before closing. The task itself wasnât particularly difficult, but the aisle he had assigned you to was.
It was narrow enough that every time one of you moved, the other had to adjust accordingly. At first neither of you paid much attention to it. The conversation flowed naturally. It should have felt normal. In theory, it was normal. Still, somewhere between reaching for the same stack of novels and arguing over whether a book belonged in the mystery section or literary fiction, you became increasingly aware of how little space actually existed between the two of you.
You noticed gradually rather than all at once. One moment you were focused on sorting books, the next you found yourself noticing things that shouldnât have mattered. The sleeves of Seonghyeonâs hoodie were pushed up to his forearms. His hair kept falling into his eyes every few minutes. Every time it did, he would push it back before continuing whatever he was doing. It wasnât remarkable.
It wasnât even interesting. Yet for some reason, your attention kept returning to it. Across from you, Seonghyeon wasnât doing much better. He had spent the last several weeks trying very hard not to think too deeply about certain things, only to discover that being alone with you outside school made that task significantly more difficult. At school there were distractions. Friends, classes, teachers, noise. Here there was only the soft hum of the bookstore, the occasional turning page from a customer somewhere in the distance, and you.
You reached for a book resting near the top shelf at the exact same moment Seonghyeon stepped forward to place another back in its place. Neither of you noticed the timing until it was already too late. The aisle was far too narrow for both movements to happen at once. One second you were focused entirely on the shelf in front of you, the next you found yourself stopping abruptly as Seonghyeon did the same. Far too close.
You hadnât walked into him. Neither of you had. Yet somehow the distance between you had disappeared anyway. The narrow aisle had trapped both of you in the same small space and now neither of you could move without brushing past the other. Instinctively, you took a small step backward. Though, your shoulder bumped lightly against the bookshelf behind you, leaving nowhere else to go. The movement seemed to catch Seonghyeonâs attention. His eyes flickered toward you before immediately looking away again. Then back. That was worse.
Because now he was actually looking at you. Not casually. Not the way he normally did. The kind of look that lasted a second too long. The kind that made you suddenly aware of every inch separating you.
Neither of you moved. Somewhere outside, a car passed by. Somewhere inside, somebody turned a page. Neither sound felt real. Not compared to this. Not compared to the fact that Seonghyeon was standing close enough for you to notice details you never should have been able to notice. The faint scent of his cologne. The slight rise and fall of his breathing. The way his gaze kept dropping for the briefest moments before returning to your eyes again.
Seonghyeon wasnât doing much better. A normal person would have stepped away by now. That was the logical thing to do. The obvious thing. Yet for some reason, neither of them seemed capable of being the first one to move. His hand was still resting against the shelf above your shoulder. Not touching you. Close enough that it felt like it.
Close enough that every rational thought in his head had abruptly stopped functioning. He couldnât even remember what book he had been reaching for. Couldnât remember what either of you had been talking about thirty seconds ago. All he knew was that you were looking up at him and that suddenly felt like a very torturous thing. The silence stretched. Your eyes dropped briefly, then lifted again.
Mistake.
Because the second your gaze met his again, something shifted. Neither of you moved, yet the distance felt smaller than before. Small enough that for one completely irrational second, the possibility crossed both of your minds at the same time. And judging by the way Seonghyeonâs breathing faltered, he knew it too.
The sound of a stack of books being dropped somewhere near the front counter shattered the moment instantly. Both of you stepped back so fast it almost hurt.
The rest of the evening felt strangely disconnected after that.
You had left the bookstore not long after, mumbling some excuse about needing to get home before it got too late. The owner had teased you for leaving earlier than usual, but you barely remembered what you had said in response. Your brain had been somewhere else entirely.
The walk home shouldâve felt familiar. You had taken the same route hundreds of times before. The same streets. The same convenience store on the corner. The same traffic lights that always seemed determined to turn red at the worst possible moment. Yet everything felt slightly off, as if somebody had shifted the world half an inch to the left without telling you.
The problem was that your brain had apparently become incapable of behaving normally whenever he was involved. Every time you replayed the evening, you found yourself stopping at the same moment. Your thoughts kept drifting there on their own. The narrow aisle. The silence. The way neither of you had moved. The way you suddenly became aware of absurd things you never paid attention to before, like how close he was standing or how easy it wouldâve been to reach out and touch him.
Meanwhile, Seonghyeon made it approximately twelve minutes before realizing he was completely screwed.
The bookstore owner had eventually returned to find him standing in the wrong aisle holding a book he had already shelved three separate times. Seonghyeon wasnât usually the type to get distracted. If anything, one of the things people liked most about him was how calm he was under pressure. Football matches didnât stress him out, presentations didnât stress him out. Exams stressed him out a little, but not enough to make him lose sleep. One interaction with y/n had completely destroyed his ability to focus. The owner had asked him a question and Seonghyeon had stared at him for three seconds before realizing he had not heard a single word.
Every time he thought he had moved on, he would remember some tiny detail and immediately get distracted again. The way she looked up at him. The way she froze. The fact that neither of them had stepped away immediately. That part bothered him most. A normal person wouldâve moved. A normal person wouldâve laughed it off and continued shelving books. Instead, they had both just stood there staring at each other like complete idiots until somebody dropped books near the front counter and snapped them back to reality.
The days after the bookstore felt strangely normal on the surface and completely unbearable underneath. Y/n would be halfway through listening to Haejin before suddenly remembering the look on Seonghyeonâs face in that aisle and immediately losing track of the conversation. Seonghyeon wasnât doing much better. Looking for y/n had somehow become a habit. Not a conscious one. His eyes just seemed to find her automatically now, and what bothered him most wasnât seeing her. It was when he couldnât.
By Thursday afternoon, students flooded out of their classrooms as the bell rang. Conversations echoed through the hallways while people pushed toward their next lesson. Seonghyeon was walking with his friends, half listening to whatever argument Keonho was currently having, when he spotted y/n a little ahead. She was walking through the crowd. He didnât think about it. Not really. The words left his mouth before his brain had the opportunity to intervene.
ââYou coming this friday?ââ The second he said it, she turned around.
ââWhat?ââ
Seonghyeon blinked, for a moment neither spoke.
ââWhere?ââ
And suddenly every functioning thought in Seonghyeonâs head disappeared. Apparently, he had skipped an entire conversation.
ââYou know..ââ He started. No, obviously she didnât know.
ââThe game.ââ She stared. ââThe football game?ââ
ââYeah.ââ Only now did Seonghyeon realize how insane this looked. They had never actually discussed her coming. Not once. For some reason though, it had already become a possibility in his head.
ââOh.ââ The hallway suddenly felt far too crowded. ââYou donât have to.ââ The words came out faster than he intended and he immediately regretted them, because now it sounded like he didnât care. Which wasnât true. Not even remotely. ââYou could- you-ââ He paused, then looked at her. Actually looked at her. ââIâd like it if you did.ââ
Y/nâs heart had stopped functioning. There was no reason that sentence shouldâve affected her the way it did. It wasnât a confession. It wasnât even flirting. Yet standing there in the middle of a crowded hallway, it felt dangerously close to something else. And suddenly she realized he actually meant it.
He wanted her there. A smile threatened to appear, she fought it immediately and failed. ââOkay.ââ The answer came out softer than she had intended.
Something shifted in Seonghyeonâs expression. The tension in his shoulders eased and the smallest smile appeared.
By the time you arrived, most of the stadium was still empty. The match wasnât starting for another hour, leaving the school caught in that strange period between preparation and chaos. Staff moved equipment across the field, a few students wandered through the entrance gates and somewhere deeper inside the athletic building, the football team was getting ready. You honestly hadnât planned on coming this early. At least, that was what you kept telling yourself. The hallway leading toward the locker rooms was nearly deserted when you spotted him.
Seonghyeon was standing beside a row of lockers, already dressed in his uniform, one hand resting against the metal door while he searched through his bag for something. For a moment, you simply watched. It felt unfair how normal he looked. Like he hadnât spent the last few weeks slowly becoming the cause of half your problems.
Maybe he felt you staring, because a second later he looked up and smiled. Not the polite smile. Not the one he gave teachers. The real one. The one that always seemed to appear before he could stop it.
âYou know the gameâs not starting for another hour, right?â The greeting caught you off guard.
âWhat, youâre kicking me out already?â
âNo,â he said immediately, a little too quickly.
âIâm just trying to figure out why youâre here this early.â
You adjusted the strap of your bag. âMaybe I have nothing better to do.â
âThatâs depressing.â You stared at him.
âYouâre about to play an important match.â
âAnd youâre making fun of me.â
âIâm helping you stay humble.â A laugh escaped him, and for a moment neither of you said anything else. The conversation shouldâve ended there. It didnât. For some reason, Seonghyeon was still standing there. For some reason, you were too.
âYou nervous?â you asked eventually.
âAbout the game?â You nodded.
âUnless youâre secretly taking a math exam afterwards.â His smile returned.
âA little.â The answer surprised you, it sounded genuine.
âYou?â he asked. You frowned. âWhat?â
âNervous.â
âWhy would I be nervous?â Something shifted in his expression. âGood question.â The look he gave you made your stomach drop because suddenly it didnât feel like you were talking about football anymore.
The silence that followed wasnât awkward. That was the problem. It felt too easy. Too comfortable. The kind of silence that only happened when you genuinely liked being around someone. You looked away first, which immediately turned out to be a mistake because the second you did, you became aware of how close he was standing. Not close enough to be strange. Close enough to matter. When you looked back up, Seonghyeon was already looking at you.
Neither of you moved. Neither of you spoke. The hallway felt quieter than before, and you couldnât remember what you had been about to say. His gaze dropped for the briefest second before lifting again. The movement was tiny. It still made your heart nearly stop. For the first time since you had met him, Seonghyeon looked completely thrown off, like he was realizing something at the exact same time you were.
The realization hung between you. Neither of you acknowledged it. Neither of you looked away. The distance somehow felt smaller now. A lot smaller. You werenât sure whether one of you had stepped forward or if you had simply stopped paying attention to everything except him. Seonghyeon let out a quiet breath. His eyes flickered down again. This time neither of you pretended not to notice. The moment stretched. One second. Two. Three. Long enough for your pulse to start racing. Long enough for him to look like heâd completely forgotten where he was.
Long enough that if either of you moved even slightly-
âSEONGHYEON!â
The shout echoed through the hallway, making both of you jump apart so fast it was embarrassing. A teammate appeared around the corner. âCoach is looking for you.â Seonghyeon genuinely looked annoyed. Actually annoyed. Which somehow made everything worse.
âYeah.â he muttered. The teammate disappeared again, leaving the two of you standing there in the aftermath of something neither of you seemed willing to acknowledge.
Then Seonghyeon rubbed the back of his neck and let out a short laugh. âI should probably go before he benches me.â
âProbably.â
Then he looked at you properly. Not past you. Not around you. At you.
ââStay until the game finishes.ââ
You blinked.
ââWhat?ââ
ââYou came all the way here, itâd be rude to leave earlier.ââ The excuse was terrible, both of you knew it. You were smiling. You gave him a reassuring hum. His own smile softened.
The whistle blew before you were ready for it.
Almost immediately, the atmosphere shifted. The scattered conversations around the stadium disappeared beneath the sound of cheering as both teams surged forward. Whatever relaxed energy had existed before kickoff vanished entirely. Suddenly everything felt louder. Faster. More important. You tried focusing, you really did.
For the first few minutes, your attention stayed where it was supposed to. The ball moved rapidly across the field, players weaving around each other while the crowd reacted to every near miss and interception. It was impossible not to get caught up in it. Even people who barely cared about football seemed invested tonight.
Then your thoughts wandered. Without warning, your mind dragged you back to the hallway. To the silence. To the way Seonghyeon had looked at you. A collective groan erupted from the crowd. You blinked. Apparently you missed something.
âThat wouldâve been such a good goal!ââ Haejin complained beside you.
âAre you even watching?ââ
ââI am.ââ
ââYouâre not!ââ
Before you could argue, the game resumed and your attention returned to the field. This time it stayed there for a while.The match itself was good. Really good. Both teams were evenly matched which only made the atmosphere more intense. Every attack felt intense. Every mistake earned a reaction from the crowd. By the time twenty minutes had passed, even you had stopped pretending not to care. A player from the opposing team broke through the defense. The stadium collectively held its breath. The shot missed by centimeters and the entire crowd exploded. Students jumped to their feet.
And before you realized it, you were standing too. For a moment, you just stared then slowly sat back down.
Huh. Maybe football wasnât completely boring.
The final minutes of the match passed in a blur. The score was tied. Every touch of the ball seemed to pull a reaction from the crowd, every mistake earning groans and every opportunity drawing people to the edge of their seats. Even students who barely cared about football were standing now. The atmosphere had become infectious. Somewhere beside you, Haejin had completely abandoned any attempt at acting normal. She was half standing, half leaning over the railing, reacting to every play as if her life depended on it.
The clock was running down when Seonghyeon received the ball near midfield. The crowd immediately reacted. Maybe it was because everybody trusted him. Whatever the reason, the second he moved forward thousands of eyes followed. Including yours. The play happened so quickly you barely had time to process it. A pass. A turn. Somebody shouting. Then suddenly the ball hit the back of the net. The stadium exploded, the noise that had erupted was unbelievable.
Students jumped to their feet. Teammates rushed across the field. People screamed loud enough to make your ears ring. Somewhere beside you, Haejin grabbed your shoulders and started shaking you like she had personally scored the goal herself. You laughed in surprise.
The first thing Seonghyeon did after his teammates swarmed him was lift his head and look at you. The distance between you was enormous. The field, the track, hundreds of people, yet he found you.
The final whistle blew moments later. The match was over. The celebration wasnât. Students immediately flooded toward the exits, some heading for the field while others crowded around friends and teammates. The entire stadium seemed alive with movement. You lingered for a while, letting people pass before eventually gathering your things.
You werenât entirely sure where you were going. Only that suddenly being surrounded by hundreds of people felt overwhelming. The night air was cooler outside the stadium. The noise became quieter with every step until it faded into the background completely. For the first time all evening, you were alone with your thoughts.
You had almost reached the corner of the building when you heard footsteps behind you. You turned around, it was Seonghyeon. He was still wearing his uniform, still slightly out of breath. He looked at you, the corners of Seonghyeonâs mouth lifted first.
âYou were leaving.â
You laughed softly.
âWhy does everybody keep accusing me of that?â
âBecause you keep doing it.â
âI wasnât.â
âYou were.â
Maybe you wouldâve argued. Maybe you wouldâve defended yourself. You found yourself smiling instead. The noise from the stadium felt distant now. The world seemed smaller somehow. Reduced to the stretch of pavement between the two of you and the fact that neither of you seemed interested in leaving.
A group of students passed somewhere behind Seonghyeon still loud from the match, still arguing over goals and missed opportunities and who deserved credit for the win. One of them called his name. Normally he wouldâve responded automatically. You had seen it happen a hundred times before. Yet he didnât even turn around. His attention never left you. Something about that made your stomach flip.
For months, Seonghyeon had existed in constant motion. Surrounded by teammates, friends, conversations. There was always somebody looking for him. Always somewhere else he needed to be. Now, after one of the biggest matches of the season, after scoring the winning goal, after spending two hours being pulled in every direction, he was standing here looking at you like the rest of the world had become background noise.
The smile on Seonghyeonâs face faded slightly. Your pulse sped up immediately, you knew. Not what he was thinking, not exactly. However, you knew this moment mattered.
The distance between you felt ridiculous, like it was the only thing both of you could focus on. Every second stretched longer than it should have. Your heart was beating so hard, you became painfully aware of it.
Seonghyeon took a step forward. You hated how quickly your breath caught. You hated how your eyes immediately dropped before finding his again. You hated that he noticed. You were standing close enough to notice details you never shouldâve noticed. The faint flush lingering across his cheeks from the match. The way his hair had fallen messily across his forehead. The fact that he looked just as overwhelmed as you felt.
Your hand found the sleeve of his jersey before you even realized what you were doing. The second your fingers curled around the fabric, Seonghyeonâs eyes dropped to your hand. Then back to you. Something in his expression completely softened. Then finally, after a dreadful amount of missed chances and interrupted moments and terrible timing,
Seonghyeon kissed you.
The football field, the crowd, the noise from the stadium, all of it disappeared into the background until there was nothing left except the overwhelming realization that this was actually happening. The kiss wasnât rushed, it felt like both of you had spent so long circling around this moment that neither of you quite knew what to do once you had reached it. Your grip tightened slightly against his jersey without meaning to, and something about that made his hand find yours.
You had spent weeks turning Seonghyeon into a problem inside your head. Something complicated. Something impossible to ignore. Yet standing here now, there was nothing complicated about it.
Then, your lips crashed against his. Off-center at first, your nose bumping his jaw accidentally before you corrected. You were pulling him closer. Seonghyeon had reacted immediately, his hands reached to cup your face delicately. His lips were warm and softer than you had expected for a boy who felt so intimidating and cold at first. The contrast sent something sharp down your spine.
He shifted one of his hands to your waist, the touch light at first, like he was questioning if youâd pull away. You didnât, you kissed him harder. He tilted his head, adjusting the angle, and suddenly the kiss fit differently, better, deeper. His chest was pressed against yours. Your heart was pounding, he could feel it. Or maybe it was his own heart.
His thumb was brushing along your cheekbone, tilting your face up to meet his more fully. He kissed you properly now, he matched your energy. He kissed you until his lips were numb, he kissed you with genuine love. He kissed you like he was trying to get inside your skin. He was a mess for you. He took over the pacing, guiding slowly through it.
At some point, neither of you seemed to care how long you had been standing there. When you finally pulled apart, it wasnât because either of you wanted to. It was because breathing had become somewhat important. The distance between you barely existed. Seonghyeonâs hand remained at your waist, his forehead nearly brushing yours as both of you tried to remember how to function.
You simply looked at each other. Weirdly, after months of wondering and guessing and pretending not to notice, that felt like enough. For the first time since all of this started, neither of you had to question it anymore.
Seonghyeon liked you.
You liked Seonghyeon.
And after everything it had taken to get here, It felt so good.
The next morning felt strangely normal. The school building was still crowded. Students still dragged themselves through the hallways half awake. Somewhere down the corridor, Martin was already being unnecessarily loud before first period had even started.
He was greeting everyone with the biggest smile plastered across his face, he was way too happy at 8:30 in the morning. Not as happy as you though. Your cheeks hurt, genuienly hurt reaching the main building. Everytime you remembered yesterday, another smile appeared before you could stop it. You were very warm, you just hoped it wasnât obvious externally.
ââYou look happy.ââ
You looked up, Seonghyeon was standing beside your locker. Immediately your smile got worse, a strange feeling in your stomach had come from nowhere when you looked at him.
ââHi.ââ
He smiled.
His hand found yours so naturally it almost sent shivers through your body. His fingers slipping through yours as though theyâd belonged there since forever. The action sent a completely unreasonable amount of warmth through your chest.
the two of you started walking toward your classroom. The hallway buzzed with conversation around you, people moving in every direction. A few students greeted Seonghyeon as they passed. He greeted them back automatically. Everything felt familiar. Yet every few steps your attention drifted toward your joined hands again. It was such a small thing.
âYou know,â Seonghyeon said after a moment, glancing sideways, âyou look less tired today.â You immediately narrowed your eyes. âYou said I looked tired.â
âI said you were tired.â
âNo.ââ
âI meant it differently.â
âSure.â
You tried very hard not to smile. Failed immediately. Beside you, Seonghyeon looked equally hopeless. The two of you reached your classroom far too quickly. Students were already filtering inside. The bell would ring any minute now. Neither of you seemed particularly eager to acknowledge that. Eventually, Seonghyeon stopped outside the door.
âSo.â
ââSo.ââ
A smile appeared, and a matching one answered it. Then Seonghyeon sqeezed your hand once before letting you go.
Your room was warm and quiet, lit only by the small lamp beside your bed while the rest of the apartment stayed dark and still around you. You had been half asleep for almost twenty minutes already, curled comfortably under your blanket with your phone abandoned somewhere near your pillow, your eyes barely able to stay open anymore.
Then suddenly, loud knocking echoed through the apartment.
You flinched awake immediately, heart jumping as the sound repeated again, louder this time. For a second you just stared at the ceiling in confusion before slowly pushing the blanket off yourself and getting out of bed.
Who even knocks like that this late at night?
You dragged your feet toward the door sleepily, fixing your oversized shirt a little before unlocking it.
The moment the door opened, Martin almost stumbled inside first.
âOh thank god,â he sighed dramatically.
Then you saw Seonghyeon beside him.
And immediately froze.
His hair was completely messy, falling over his eyes unevenly like someone had been running their hands through it all night, and his hoodie hung off one shoulder slightly while he stood there swaying just enough for you to notice. His cheeks were flushed pink, eyes half lidded and unfocused, and the second he looked at you, his entire expression softened instantly.
You blinked in surprise. âIs he drunk?â
âVery,â Martin answered instantly.
Seonghyeon frowned slightly beside him. âIâm not that drunk.â
âYou almost cried because they changed the music,â Martin deadpanned.
âI liked that song.â
Martin rolled his eyes before looking back at you.
âHe would not shut up about wanting to come see you.â He pointed toward Seonghyeon with complete exhaustion. âLike genuinely. Every five seconds it was your name over and over again.â
Your eyes moved back to Seonghyeon automatically and he just stared at you quietly, blinking slowly.
âHe missed you,â Martin added teasingly.
Seonghyeon immediately hid part of his face inside his sleeve and you could not help smiling a little.
Martin sighed dramatically again before carefully grabbing Seonghyeon by the shoulders and moving him toward you.
âHere. Heâs your problem now.â
The second Seonghyeon reached you, he leaned against you almost instantly, his weight warm and heavy against your shoulder.
Martin pointed at him seriously.
âDo not let him drink again because heâs either gonna ruin the party or start confessing his feelings to random furniture.â
âI was not talking to furniture,â Seonghyeon mumbled.
âYou thanked a lamp.â
âThatâs because it looked nice.â
You laughed quietly before Martin started walking backward toward the elevator again.
âGood luck,â he called out. âAnd seriously, keep him alive.â
Then he disappeared.
Leaving you alone with your extremely drunk boyfriend clinging to your shoulder.
For a moment Seonghyeon just stayed there quietly, arms loosely around your waist while his forehead rested against the side of your head.
âYou smell nice,â he murmured suddenly.
You smiled despite yourself. âThank you.â
His grip tightened slightly like he was making sure you were real.
âMissed you.â
The words came out so soft and honest that your chest hurt a little.
âYou saw me this morning,â you whispered.
âStill missed you.â
God.
You carefully guided him inside before closing the door behind you, and the second you did, he immediately followed you around the apartment like a lost puppy while you prepared things for him.
You grabbed comfortable clothes from your drawer, placing them neatly inside the bathroom before turning the shower on slightly so the water could warm up.
âYou need to shower first,â you told him gently.
Seonghyeon stood beside the sink watching you quietly, looking impossibly tired and clingy at the same time.
Then suddenly he moved closer.
Enough that you had to tilt your head up to look at him properly because of the obvious height difference between you two. Even drunk, he somehow still carried that naturally soft presence around you, except now it felt less controlled.
Needier.
His arms slid around your waist slowly before he leaned down and rested his chin on your shoulder, practically folding himself against you.
You immediately wrapped your arms around the back of his neck carefully, fingers brushing softly through the messy hair at the nape of it.
âItâs okay, babe,â you whispered. âYouâre okay.â
He made a quiet sound against your shoulder, almost like a hum.
You smiled slightly. âWas this your first time drinking?â
After a small pause, he nodded.
That made your smile grow instantly.
Of course it was.
Everything suddenly made sense now. The clinginess. The nonstop honesty.Â
You gently rubbed circles against the back of his neck while he stayed there holding you silently.
Then after a few seconds, he spoke again.
âBabe.â
âHm?â
He lifted his head slightly just enough to look at you properly, eyes heavy and unfocused but still impossibly soft.
âI love you so much.â
Your heart almost stopped.
Before you could even answer, he leaned down and kissed you.
Harder than usual.
Desperate in a way that completely caught you off guard because Seonghyeon was normally shy with affection, always hesitating before kisses, always getting embarrassed after holding your hand for too long.
But now he kissed you like he could not help himself.
Like every thought in his head had disappeared except you.
You could taste the alcohol faintly against his lips, sweet and bitter at the same time, but you barely noticed because of how tightly he held you.
One of his hands moved up your back slowly while he kissed you again, deeper this time, and your fingers tightened instinctively behind his neck as your breathing started getting uneven.
When he finally pulled back slightly for air, his forehead rested against yours for barely a second before he leaned in again immediately.
Another kiss.
Then another.
Your brain felt completely scrambled by the sudden affection.
âBabe,â you murmured breathlessly against his lips, barely managing to speak between kisses. âCalm down.â
The second the words left your mouth, he stopped immediately.
His eyes widened slightly like he just realized what he was doing.
âSorry,â he whispered instantly.
You blinked up at him, still breathless.
He looked genuinely flustered now despite being drunk, his cheeks flushed deeper pink than before.
âYou justâŠâ He swallowed softly. âYou drive me crazy.â
Your stomach flipped painfully.
A small laugh escaped you before you could stop it and you shook your head slightly, still holding onto him.
âI think youâre really drunk.â
âI know.â
But he clearly did not care.
Instead he just hugged you closer again, hiding his face against your shoulder like he suddenly got shy all over again after saying too much.
Which somehow made the whole thing even cuter.
Eventually, after a lot of convincing and helping him not trip over literally nothing, you managed to get him showered and into clean clothes.
By the time you both finally crawled into bed, the apartment had gone completely silent again.
Seonghyeon immediately moved toward you the second he laid down, arms wrapping around your waist while he pulled you close against his chest like he physically could not sleep otherwise.
His face buried itself into your neck comfortably, warm breaths brushing softly against your skin while one of his legs tangled lazily with yours under the blanket.
You smiled quietly in the darkness, fingers brushing gently through his damp hair.
âBetter?â you whispered.
He nodded sleepily against your shoulder.
Then after a few seconds, his voice came out soft and tired.
âStill love you.â
Your chest hurt again in the best way possible.
You pressed a small kiss against his forehead before cuddling closer into him, listening to his breathing slowly even out as exhaustion finally took over both of you.
ìëìì€ â garage boyband leader!đarđÍin, ââââââ preppy f! reader đ đ€.đ: +15k (17.450 and I'm not even sorry, I ate this one up!) ê° â coming of age, slice of life, attempts of rom-com, fluff, and one-sided enemies to lovers ê± â·â â°ditoral ! đ
ââââââ slow burn rivals to lovers, mutual pining (hidden under sarcasm), high school setting (South Korea in the big 2004, and i think i kinda pulled off the correct amount of good cringe), band boy x class president dynamic, emotional tension, academic pressure, family conflict (parental slap + divorces), music as love language, heartfelt confessions, teasing + banter, teenage rebellion, emotional vulnerability, light touching (no explicit sexual content), implied attraction, healing through love.
EXTRAS !: PLAY THAT BEAT (Martin's songs for you) âââââ FROM MY HEART (Your songs for Martin's) âââââ I CAN WAIT FOR US
âPrez! Over here!âÂ
Your nickname cut through the hallway, followed by the hand wave he was doing alongside a smile. Some students who were there glanced, waving less energetically than Yujinâeveryone knew you as the 2 time class president. You pulled your bag higher on your shoulder, waving through clusters of lovely outfits, mostly ignoring the flyers taped on every wall: cram school promotions, mock exam countdown, âjoin the clubâ posters already, and one for a half-torn band audition, the ink smudged like whoever put it there didnât even care.
Due to being the last first day of school, you spoke to the school headmaster to have permission to drop the uniforms and wear an outfit, which allowed you to be the only student to give a motivational speech in the gymnasium, but seeing how everyone was comfortable showing their identity through clothes, despite the already packed senior schedule that we will face ahead.
Senior year wasnât going to be kind; the past students let you all know that.
âThatâs a cute outfit.â You playfully did a princess bow, the outfit that you pulled the night before consisted of a white collared button-up shirt under your fitted, long-sleeve blue sweater, covering perfectly your exposed abdomen that your denim mini skirt showed. It was cinched in with a chunky black belt and some white socks with black shoes with a little bit of heel.Â
âThank you, Yujin. You donât look bad, either.â He spun dramatically in place, making his backpack bounce.
âPlease. My mom picked this outfit. I had to wear it, otherwise she wouldnât let me go to our karaoke tradition.â He opened his backpack, pulling out strawberry milk.
âYouâre the absolute best,â you said, stabbing the straw through the foil and taking a sip without hesitation.
âSo, how was your vacation?âÂ
âIt was good. I went to the beach for a week before going to visit colleges with my mom.â he gave a dramatic sigh.
âShe is more obsessed with your future than you.â You raised your shoulders, way too used to his words.Â
âWell, sadly, I have to go along withââ
âYah, Han Yujin!â The wall made that scream bounce, creating an echo where the two of you froze. As a matter of fact, everybody there did; you saw the unforgettable figure of your friend Leeseo running to you two, and you looked to your right to see the face of pure fear on Yujinâs face.Â
âWhat have you done?â you whispered, before he could speak. Leeseo was already trying to hit him. His hands went to your shoulder, and he started using you as a shield.
âLeeseo, stop!â you gasped, trying to wriggle out of Yujinâs grip.
âOh, hi there, Y/N. Can you please move? I want to kick his ass.â It was comical how everything was going down, cameras shutting off as they captured the first banter of the duo. You decided to enter the class, and a spot near the desk and next to the window was your favorite.
âLeeseoâouch! Wait!â Both of them entered as she finally left him alone after she gave a pretty hard smack on his back. Leeseo sat next to you, and Yujin took the spot behind you two.
âYou idiot, why didn't you tell me that Martin is back?!â Her whisper made your ear raise at the name.
âI didnât spend time here; I went to the countryside to visit my grandma. How do you know?â
âBecause he was getting scolded by the teacher at the entrance.â
âNothing new, then,â you spoke before you could think. You placed your pencil case and notebook on your desk. Leeseoâs mouth fell open, her eyes wide as if what you just said was the dumbest thing ever.
âNothing new? Y/N, he was supposed to go to Canada for his senior year; he even spoke about it.â
âNow that you said that,â Yujin put his strawberry milk on his table, leaning between you two. âYesterday, when I was leaving out to do the groceries for mom, Martin and his dad were discussing it; it looked pretty heated.âÂ
âOh great, the menace is back.â You keep your eyes focused on what you were writing in your notebook, which consisted mostly of a to-do list of the day.
âWhy do you act like this news is a normal Tuesdayâs cafeteria menu?â
âBecause thatâs exactly what it is. Martin gets in trouble like he has been doing for the past couple of years, the teacher yells, and the earth spins. What else is new?â
Yujin chuckled, âCareful tho. Keep talking like that, and he might think you missed him.â
You whipped around, smacking the back of his head with enough power to bother him. âDonât even joke.â
People kept entering the classroom, some were going straight to their friend group, others to get ready, and a few simply lay on the desk to sleep for a few minutes before the usual first day announcement.Â
You grabbed your small makeup pouch so you could go to the restroom, standing in the middle sink and smiling at your polished reflection. Pulling the gloss, you painted your lips with a thin layer of gloss, the mascara was next to give volume to your eyelashes, and finally, some blush on your cheeks.Â
When you were satisfied, you left the bathroom, fixing your pouch, crashing with someone, and dropping everything inside them, you could bet your blush was broken into pieces.Â
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," you said, bowing as you rushed to at least some of the remains.Â
"I can't believe the school role model is wearing makeup, breaking the rules already?" you sighed, still picking up your stuff, your mood completely dropping.Â
"I take that back, I'm not sorry." You finally got up and looked at what was supposed to be Martin's height last year, your neck hurting slightly as you looked a little more up. Leeseo was right, he got unbelievably tall.
He was wearing a band tee with ripped jeans that looked twice his size, hanging on his hips like they were holding on for dear life. Scuffed Vans dragged slightly as he shifted his weight, the hoodie unzipped and frayed at the sleeves. His hair looked like heâd rolled out of bed on purpose, and the faint smirk tugging at his lips only made it worse.
The outfit made you know that he would be the reason for your headaches for another year.
âMartin Edwards,â you said flatly, clutching your pouch like it was armor.
âStill bowing to people in hallways. How cute,â he drawled back, his smirk spreading slowly with his hand shoved into his hoodie pocket.
âStill getting yelled at by teachers on the first day. How predictable.â You stepped sideways, but he shifted too, blocking your path with a lazy lean against the wall, watching you close your eyes, irritated.
âYou know that I canât help it if theyâve missed me.â He tilted his head. âDonât tell me you didnât.â
Your laugh came out louder than intended, calming down quickly. âPlease. The place was finally quiet without you.â
âQuietâs overrated.â You could see how his eyes flicked down, lingering on the glossy shine of your lips, making you look down briefly. âBesides, you look better with noise around.â
He leaned in slightly so you were the only one hearing. âCome on, Prez. Admit it. You missed me.â
âI miss the news of you moving to Canada.â You scoffed, you looked at his eyes, and you could see how that challenging look disappeared for a second.
âDamn.â He pressed a hand over his chest like youâd shot him. âStill ruthless with the comebacks. What happened to the sweet, polite, and lovely person?â
âSheâs still here, she just doesnât like you,â you shot back, already making your way out. He appeared next to you, the height difference even more noticeable. You stopped on your tracks, him copying you after.Â
It was your turn to step forward, your chin high, although it didnât make you look intimidating. âYouâre going to make this year miserable, arenât you?â
âDepends on how much attention you give me, pretty,â he said easily, the nickname rolling off his tongue like it was nothing, turning the tip of your ears slightly warm.
Before you could say something, the bell overhead rang, echoing through the hallway. The students started invading the hallways, brushing past the two of you with curious eyes.
You exhaled, finally brushing past him to go to your class to hide the pouch, coming back to see him waiting outside the class. âIâm making one thing clear. Give me some free time for our teachers scolding me because of you, I donât want that on my record.â
You marched your way with your class, heels softly clicking.Â
âCanât promise that, Prez!â His voice followed you down the hall.
It was official, this was going to be a long senior year.
Four months passed like a blur, and just like you predicted, everything stacked up to you. Not even a week in, and the classes and teachers nominated you to be the president of the school council. You were about to give up that opportunity for the sake of a slightly peaceful year, but when your mom heard about it, she forced you to keep it, not turning back even when your dad tried to talk her through it.Â
The school was quick to give you a list of activities you and the committee had to plan, and because of your last events as class president, students were quick to say the same sentence.
âWe are having a prom AND a school trip? Y/N, youâre the best!â
Normally, the country itself wasnât exactly used to having a prom the way other countries did, renting movies to watch on a Friday night was enough to plant the idea in every seniorâs head, even yours, not believing that you were the one supposed to make it happen. Thankfully, the first big event on the calendar wasnât promâbut the spring school trip.
With the help of Yujinâs mom, we secured a short trip of two nights in Gyeongju for the last week of October.Â
It was 7 pm, and you were walking back home with the rented DVD of 10 Things I Hate About You, ready to drown in ramen and your blankets. The reason? You were tired of council meetings, study schedules, and Martin already racking up three warnings from teachers.
âWhy are you in pajamas?â Leeseo surprised you by being in front of your house.Â
âBecause Iâm staying at homeâŠ?â Your sentence sounded more like a question than you wanted it to, especially because Leeseo was standing at your gate with her backpack.
âWrong answer,â she said, shoving past you. âYour mom thinks youâre staying at my house for a study-slash-sleepover. Iâm telling you, she almost hugged me when I told her we are even reviewing college math problems.â
âWhat? Leeseo, Iâm in pajamas. I bought snacks! Iâm committed to my bed tonight.â
âYou can change, and the snacks can wait.â She plopped the backpack on your bedroom floor before going straight to your closet, pulling out outfits that seemed fitting to fool your mom even more. âIâm not letting you waste your Friday night watching Heath Ledger for the 100th time.â
âShut up.â
She threw your pink cardigan in your face. âCome on, your mom needs to see you leave like we are going to church."
· · â ·â¶Â· â · ·
âCall me if anything happens, okay?â You nodded at your mom before she lightly hugged you. âThank you for doing this, darling. I know you will match my babyâs commitment to college.â
Leeseo bowed down while you tried to hide your face, your head by lowering it. âAnything to get that 100, I will bring her tomorrow!â
You two started walking out, feeling the gaze of your mom behind you. âWhen we turn around here, Yujin and his brother are waiting for us.â
And just like she said, Hanbin and Yujin were there, opening the car right when they saw you two. âWere you two creating a summer season collection?â
âQuiet, Yujin. Hi Hanbin,â you said. Hanbin simply smiled at you.
âWhere now, to our house?â Hanbin spoke, this time looking at Leeseo.
âYes, we need to change her clothes,â you said, looking at her, confused.
âBut why? I think itâs cute.â You looked down, a pink polo shirt layered under a pastel cable-knit sweater, khaki skirt, and pearl studs.
âDonât get me wrong, it is cute, but it looks like you will hold a mass on the dance floor.â Now you laughed, already feeling at ease when the wind touched your face. âAnd then to Martinâsâ
Once again, the mood turned down. âWaitâMartin? As in Martin Edwards?â
âYes. Keonho texted me, and he said his momâs gone, and his band has their amps set up in the garage. Apparently, half of the schoolâs going.â Yujin said, and thatâs when you looked at Leeseo, who was actively trying to avoid your face.
âOh my god! I love this song, turn it up, Hanbin!â she screamed.
The car ride to Hanbinâs house wasnât long. Yujinâs house was empty when you arrived. Leeseo didnât waste a secondâthe soft outfit was already in her backpack, so you can wear the black cropped baby tee with a rhinestone butterfly, a pleated low-rise denim skirt, and a chunky studded belt. Your makeup is slightly altered with the use of eyeliner, but since it was a style you have secretly wanted to try for a while, you enjoyed it.Â
Leeseo opened the door of Yujinâs room. The second you stepped out, both brothers gasped. You rolled your eyes with your face burning at the attention.Â
âNow that outfit is the one that will take your mom to a coma,â Yujin said. Hanbin punched him softly, and you simply laughed. Â
It took a few steps to arrive there since they were neighbors, and the bass from the garage was already rattling the pavement. Cars were parked crooked along the curb, kids were sitting on the front lawn with red cups, and some of them, who you recognized as graduates, were drunk.
âThis looks safe,â you muttered. Leeseo slipped her arm through yours.
âRelax, itâs just a party. Besides, Martinâs band is playing. It will be good.â
You rolled your eyes. âMartinâs band will probably sound like three lawnmowers in a blender.â
âThatâs kind of the point.âÂ
The smell of cheap soju mixed with hairspray lingered in the air; there were some Christmas lights strung along the ceiling, casting the whole space in a warm glow. You moved between people to grab something to drink from the table.Â
âNoona?âÂ
You turned around, half-expecting another stranger with either a can of soda or a red cup. Instead, it was Keonhoâwell, another version that was surely not the one you used to watch on council meetings.
It was almost comical the way your eyes widened at the same time, like you were looking at two entirely different people from the ones youâd last seen in pressed uniforms.
â...Keonho?â you blinked, scanning him from head to toe. âWhat are you wearing?â
Baggy jeans sagging low on his hips, showing a part of his boxers, a chain clinking against his belt loop, oversized sneaker, and a graphic tee layered under a half-zipped hoodie. His gel-free hair was messy, kinda like he came out of an MTV music video. He looked good, you had to admit.
Keonho gawked back at you with the same disbelief. âMe? Noona, look at your outfit.â
Heat rushed to your cheeks, suddenly becoming hyperaware of your fit.
You crossed your arms defensively. âAt least I donât look like I lost a fight with my closet⊠but you look good, I guess.â
He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. âFair. But still⊠wow. Didnât think you could look like that. It suits you.â
Before you could thank him, the garage speakers squealed as the music turned down. Keonhoâs grin widened instantly. âAnyways, you have to come listen. Cortis is next.â
You arched a brow. âCortis?â
âThe band I joined!â he said, a happy smile showing his pride. âJames is on drums, Juhoonâs rhythm, Seonghyeon on keys, Iâm bass.â
âOh, all of you sing?â you asked, following his steps to the garage.
âSometimes, but the main singerââ
âWhatâs up, School of Performing Arts of Seoul!â Martin's voice resonated all over the place, the crowd screaming in response.Â
âKeonho.â
âI know you donât like him at all, but listen to us for a moment, we practiced a lot.â he did a small pout, you had to nod to see him smiling, and run to his bass.Â
You scanned the group, eyes stopping on Martin, his guitar strap slung low and standing front and center.
âThanks for being here. Weâre Cortis, and we will do something old since classics never die.â
They surprised you by opening with a familiar riff of one of your favorite bands, blink-182. âAll the small thingsâ made the whole garage shake with the force of it, and you had to admit itâit didnât sound half bad. They were all completely lost in their performance and interacting with people in the crowd who were busy nodding their heads and screaming their names.
The song ended, and the five boys were sweat-slicked and breathless, quickly grabbing a can of soda to quench their thirst. Martin left for a moment, arriving soon after to connect an acoustic guitar to the amps.
You audibly gasped when the familiar melody hit your eardrums. âWonderwallâ.Â
You moved through the crowd to get a clearer view, spotting Leeseo and Yujin by the first rows, both singing along dramatically the wrong lyricsâyou didnât mean to reveal your love for rock music there, but after securing your spot next to your friends, your body moved first, soon the lyrics easily feel off your lips like youâd been waiting for that exact song all night, far away from your mother.
For the first time, you let yourself loose. They werenât perfect; the performance itself was pretty raw to the point that the energy could be felt all over the place. Martin looked up mid-chorus, eyes landing on you. You could see how his eyes opened at the view of you enjoying the chaos he was creating. It felt like the noise dimmed, even just for a second, before he went back to singing his heart out.
The night stretched on with more covers, every single one better than the one before. Eventually, the closeness got too much, making you slip through the crowd and push the back door open, stepping outside after grabbing a can of soda. The cool night air hit your face like a relief, although the sound of crickets filling the silence that the muffled music left behind wasnât exactly your cup of tea.
You exhaled, leaning against the side of the house, closing your eyes for a moment, finally feeling a little sense of peace after what was probably the longest year so far.
âYou hiding, Prez?â
You startled, spinning around to see Martin also leaning against the railing, hair damp with sweat, a crooked smile painted across his face. Even outside, he carried the same reckless kind of confidence that made people look twice.Â
âNot hiding,â you said flatly. âJust avoiding the noise pollution.â
âFunny that you say that, knowing how much you enjoyed back there.â His smile grew at the sight of you trying to play it cool.
You scoffed lightly, crossing your arms. âDonât flatter yourself. I was just⊠surprised you didnât completely butcher the songs.â
âOuch.â He chuckled, pushing off the railing to stand a little closer. âYouâre tough to impress.â
âThatâs not new information.âÂ
For a brief moment, he didnât say anything â just looked at you. âDidnât think Iâd see you at one of my shows,â he said, quieter this time.
âMe neither. I didnât think youâd still be here,â you said, the words coming out before you could even stop yourself. âWasnât Canada calling your name?â
You stood there waiting for a silly comment like he always does, just to see your irritating face. But there was nothing but silence, and you were smart enough to know you messed up.
He let out a soft laugh, a bitter one. âYeah, it was.â
Your silence was a cue for him to continue, which even made you question why you suddenly wanted to hear the rest.
âMy dad wanted me there, to finish high school there, the same high school he graduated from,â he said. âSaid itâs âset me for the future.â, but while he was setting me up, he was setting someone else up too. In another country.â
You froze, for the first time, not having an answer to talk back.
âMy mom knew,â he added. âShe knew the whole time and just⊠kept living like nothing happened. So I decided to stay with the person Iâm less angry atâwhile making him angry enough that I like music.â
"He wanted you to be something else when you graduated?"
"Electric engineer. Just like him, so I can help with his company."Â
You suddenly remember the article that the principal showed one time â Edward Industriesâ CEO invests in youth innovation â and the photo of Martinâs father shaking hands with people, smiling like his world was perfect.
âThatâs⊠a lot to live up to and process,â you said quietly.
âWell, you know Iâm not great at following instructions.â His lips twitched, but his usual smirk didnât quite form this time.
You took a sip of the last part of the soda, swallowing it. âWhy are you telling me this?â
âBecause I know you hate me enough to not care.â
Your breath caught at the way he said it, like it wasn't a joke, but that stung a part of you. You look at him and, for the first time in your eyes, he doesnât look untouchable or smug. He looked tired.
âIâm so sorry, Martin,â you said softly.
âDonât be. Iâd rather be here playing and producing music with the boys and annoying you.â
You let out a small laugh. âYouâre doing a great job at both.â
âY/N! Are you here?!âÂ
You both turned toward the sound of Yujinâs scream echoing faintly from the other side of the yard. Flashlights from someoneâs phone swung through the dark as your friends searched for you.
âYour friends are calling you,â Martin said, stating the obvious. You ran a hand through your hair and twisted it into a messy low bun. He watched the motion quietly, cheeks warming before he could stop himself.
You met his gaze again. âGood night, Martin.â
âNight, Prez.â He added, finally smiling a little bit.Â
You started to walk away, then paused mid-step to look back over your shoulder.
âI donât hate you,â you said. âI just hate that the only thing that damages my school profile is your warnings.â
You blinked, completely caught off guard, before a laugh escaped you, making his grin widen.
âHey! Donât laugh!â he said, though the lack of bite in the tone betrayed him, too focused on the happiness that you radiated outside the school.
From a distance, Yujin called your name again, his voice half-drowned by the music. You turned to glance at the noise, still smiling as you stepped back.
Martin stayed where he was, hands shoved in his pockets, watching you go, putting his hand on his chest to calm it down a bit at the sudden racing of it.
· · â ·â¶Â· â · ·
Sitting again at your desk felt like hell. The summer break had been a blur, and what you wished to do the mostârelaxing, catching up on your TV shows, and simply not thinking too much about high schoolâwas replaced by college prep books and an endless to-do list dictated by your mother. You manage to sneak out with Leeseo and Yujin only once.
Long story short, you were practically glued to your desk. So the return to school felt more like a choker pressing even tighter around your neck.
âYou guys wonât believe what I just saw!â Yujin entered the room, slamming the door closed before running to your spot.
âYujin, tone it down! Drink some.â You gave him your water, practically chugging it down to ease his thirst.
âThank you, I came here running as fast as I could.âÂ
âCouldnât tell." The sarcasm in Leeseoâs voice made him narrow his eyes at her. âSay what you saw.âÂ
Before he could, the door slid open again, and a collective gasp rippled through the classroom.
Martin.
But it was Martin wearing the school uniform properly. Key word: properly. White shirt tucked in, tie actually knotted, blazer neat. The only nods to his usual style were a thick, silver ring on his index finger and the slight, purposeful messiness of his hair that framed his face.
He dropped his backpack onto his usual seat in the back, then strolled casually toward the front to grab a new syllabus. On the way back, he caught Yujinâs eye.
âMorning, Han, Leeseo, Prez.â he nodded coolly, taking a seat on the empty spot.
âThatâs what I saw,â he whispered, wide-eyed.
Far from being discreet, Leeseo was already studying Martin, who was playing dumb and doing random poses. âI hate this. Bring back your âI hate the systemâ attitude right now. Thatâs my only entertainment in this school.â
Martin looked up, grinning. âCanât. Iâm going for the rebrand. Gotta keep the audience guessing.â
You kept your eyes fixed on your notebook, pretending to write down something important, and you were hyper-aware of the space he occupied beside you.
Then came the knock on the wood right next to your pencil case. âDo I look good, Prez?â
When you finally risked a glance at him, it was enough to have the class eyes on both of you, especially his bold yet teasing stare.Â
âYou look like a normal student. Congratulations.â
The bell rang, and everyone began shuffling to their seats. Martin kneeled in front of you and leaned near enough to whisper, âThank you, princess.âÂ
Yujin choked with the water again, and Leeseo was just there, wide-eyed and jaw on the floor. You froze, brain stuttering to find something coherent to say after that. It was well known that you hated nicknames like that, but why are you feeling your cheeks warming up so fast? The class started whispering.Â
Days passed, but something about him had shifted.
He still sat in the back (mostly because of his height), still wore that lazy smirk when teachers called his name, but between the sarcasm and the half-lidded stares out the window, you caught him writing. Even more, he divided the notebook into two, where he had both school material and lyrics alongside some guitar chords. Once, you even saw the corner of a paper titled âCORTIS - Set Ideas!!â when you were delivering lesson papers.
He wasnât slacking off anymore. He was trying.
And since he was trying, the warnings of your bad leadership were almost nonexistent. And it was weird, mostly because you didnât know how to feel about it.
By the second week, the girls' bathroom was starting to fill with rumors.
âCortis is joining the Battle of the Bands next month! Iâm going to support Juhoon.â
âKeonho and Seonghyeon are the youngest people to be there.â
âIf they go and win, they will break Hamlin's streak of three years.â
You overheard it all, pretending not to listen, but it was inevitable, the emotions for everyone there, since itâs their big âgigâ
· · â ·â¶Â· â · ·
At home, though, things stop being simple. Your mother had entered one of her âplanning phases,â consisting of color-coded schedules of times to study for the college entrance exam, college catalogs spread across your desk.
âMother, Iâm home,â you screamed. You heard the footsteps of your mother coming from the kitchen. She even has more college catalogs in her hands.
âY/N, I made a decision. You're going to apply for early admission.â You stopped, looking at her in confusion.
âI thought we agreed that I would not do that.â
âYou need to focus. You have the grades; now you need the commitment. No distractions,â she reminded you for the fourth time that week.Â
"Mother, I have all my study schedules already, and I'm on track for the mock exams. I'm literally planning the school's social calendar while keeping my GPA up. What more commitment do you need that you found the need to make that decision without consulting me?â you said, trying to keep your tone even.
âDonât raise your voice at me,â she snapped, the papers in her hands hitting the table with a dull thud. âI know whatâs best for your future. You donât. You think organizing dances and trips for your classmates is going to help you get into Seoul National?â
You clenched your fists. âItâs not about that! Itâs about the fact that you donât trust me to handle my own life!â
âYouâre seventeen, Y/N. You donât even know what youâll want in five years!â
âBecause youâve never given me the chance to figure it out!â you shot back before you could stop yourself, your voice breaking slightly.Â
âIâm going to college and not mess it up like you!â Your motherâs palm slapped sharply on your cheek.Â
âWhatâs going on here?!â Your fatherâs voice came from the hallway. You hadnât even realized heâd arrived. But you didnât care.
You pushed past him, tears already blurring your vision as you ran out the door. You could hear him calling your name, but his voice faded behind you, swallowed by the night air.
You didnât care about your mom.
You didnât care about the neighbors staring as you rushed down the street, barefoot in house slippers.
You didnât care about the way your chest tightened with every breath you took.
You just ran.
And when your legs finally gave out, you found yourself in a quiet park. The street lights flickered faintly, the world spinning around you.
Your knees hit the ground first. Then came the sobs. You pressed your palms to the dirt as your body trembled, the sound of your breathing broken and uneven. For once, you couldnât hold it in.
The pressure, the expectations, the endless need to be perfect, it all cracked open at once. You barely noticed the screams of a familiar tune until a shadow moved a few meters away.
âY/N! Are you here?!â Martinâs voice didnât even make you look up at him. The footsteps grew closer until you felt his presence. âGod, whatâs wrongââ
Your arms wrapped around him, crying even harder. The bag heâd been holding slipped from his hand, hitting the grass with a muffled thud. A few things rolled out, forgotten.Â
He froze for half a second before his arms carefully wrapped around you as well.
âHey⊠hey,â he murmured, voice low. âYouâre okay.â
You shook your head against his chest, your sobs muffled by his hoodie. âNo. Iâm not. I canâtâI canât do this anymore.â
He didnât say anything right away, just held you there as you cried, his hand moving slowly up and down your back. The only sounds were your uneven breaths and the faint rustle of leaves in the night breeze.
When you finally started to calm, he shifted slightly. Your eyes analyzed his face, the worry etched across his faceâthe kind you didnât expect from him.
âDid someone hurt you?â he asked quietly.
You swallowed hard, voice breaking slightly, âMy mother.â
His jaw tightened, eyes flicking briefly to the faint redness on your cheek. You saw the flash of anger there. âThereâs a bench there, go sit there.â
You did what he said, and when he came to sit next to you after picking up the stuff. He pulled a strawberry milk and gave it to you, thanking him.
âI saw you running,â he said. âI was leaving the supermarket, and I just followed. It looked like you were about to disappear.â
You sniffled, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. âSorry, I didnât mean to.â
âDonât.â His voice softened immediately. âYou donât have to apologize for crashing out.â
You drank up the milk, sighing after.
âIâm just so tired, Martin.â
âI know.â He glanced up at the night sky for a moment. âYou donât have to keep proving you can handle everything. Youâre allowed to fall apart sometimes.â
You gave a small laugh. âThatâs not really on my schedule.â
âThen itâs time to break it,â he said simply, his tone somewhere between teasing and kind.Â
That actually pulled a real laugh from you and a faint smile from Martin. His hand brushed the dirt off his uniform pants before doing the same with your knees. âYou donât have to talk about it if you donât want to. Iâll just sit here.â
You nodded, eyes still wet but calmer. âThanks for following me, I guess.â
âAnytime,â he said. âThough next time, please donât make me drop all my groceries.â
You two stayed there for a while; neither of you said anything. You just sat there sharing peace, a feeling none of you felt in a long time, and for different situations.
The night air had cooled a little by the time you both stood up from the bench.
âCome on,â he said, nodding toward the road. âIâll walk you home before your dad sends a search party.â
You hesitated for a moment, but then nodded. The street was almost empty as you walked side by side, your steps slow and the sound of cicadas blending with the quiet, distant buzz of traffic.
âAgain, Iâm really sorry,â you said after a couple of steps. âI must have been a burden to you today.â
Martin glanced at you, his expression unreadable in the streetlight glow. âYou needed someone to find you. Thatâs all.â
After a few more quiet steps, you sighed, kicking at a pebble on the pavement. âItâs just not my mother. Everythingâs been⊠too much. The prom planning, the trip, the mock examsâitâs like I canât breathe without having something due.â
Martin chuckled softly. âLeave it to you to get stressed about fun things.â
âTheyâre only fun when people actually help,â you said, exasperated. âEven if the committee is completely involved in those two things, the principal is bothering me. Iâve been running back and forth with the school board about budget approvals, and I swear, if one more teacher calls me responsible like itâs a compliment, Iâm going to scream.â
âThen scream. Iâll join you.â
You rolled your eyes but couldnât help the small smile tugging at your lips. âYou? Youâd probably turn it into a song.â
âMaybe I already did.â
You looked up at him, but he just shrugged. âWeâre working on something for the Battle of the Bands,â he said. âPrize money isn't bad. Thinking of donating it.â
You raised an eyebrow. âDonating? Since when are you that noble?â
âSince I found out how expensive renting a DJ, using massive decorations, and the food is,â he said, giving you a sideways glance. âKeonho is stressed with that too, and we figured if we win, weâll put some of the money toward your prom fund.â
You blinked, taken aback. âYouâd do that?â
âFor the school,â he confirmed, but the grin that followed made it impossible to believe him. âWell⊠mostly for you.â
You laughed quietly, shaking your head in disbelief. âAnd what exactly do you get out of that deal?â
He took a moment before answering, kicking at the pavement as if he were debating whether to say it. âA date.â
You stopped walking. âA what?â
âA date,â he repeated, meeting your eyes. âWith you. Just one.â
You stared at him, heart skipping in that annoying wait it always did around him lately. âYouâre joking.â
âNot this time.â His voice had softened, âIâve kinda liked you for a while, Y/N. Like, since sophomore year, a whileâ
You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. The words and the mere sight of how he rubbed the back of his neck with the faintest flush creeping into his cheeks were enough to really blow you away.
âYou probably thought I was just being annoying all the time⊠That was me trying to get your attention without, you know, getting expelled for it.â
You blinked at him. âTwo years?â
He nodded, starting to walk again. âTwo very long and humbling years.â
You looked away at the back of his figure, hiding the small smile that tugged at your lips. Once you reached him, you focused on looking straight.
âI donât know what to say,â you admitted.
âYou donât have to say anything,â he replied. âJust⊠let me win first. Then decide.â
You huffed, shaking your head. âYouâre ridiculous.â
âYeah, but Iâm a ridiculous guy with a plan,â he said, lightly swinging his hips to move your body.Â
You reached your gate a few minutes later. The house lights were still on, the silhouette of your dad faintly visible through the curtains.
When you stopped, so he did, taking a look at your place for the first time. âYou gonna be okay?â
You nodded. âI think so.â
He smiled. âGood. Donât disappear like that again, okay? I canât keep rescuing the class president from emotional breakdowns.â
You smirked faintly. âAnd here I thought you liked being the hero.â
He tilted his head, pretending to think. âMaybe I just like you.â
You froze at the words. You saw how he shoved his hands into his pockets.Â
âSee you tomorrow, Prez.â
âGoodnight, Martin.â
He started walking away. You stood there for a moment, heart beating way too fast for someone whoâd just survived a meltdown. Your feet started walking fast to where he was.
âMartin!â He stopped instantly, turning on his heel. The look on his face was equal parts concern and confusion, the grocery bag still dangling from one hand.Â
You walked up to him, stopping close enough to feel the warmth radiating off his skin. Your hand reached for his tie, pulling him down gently.Â
On your tiptoes, you pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.Â
âIâm really thankful,â you murmured.
Neither of you moved. His eyes widened slightly before that boyish grin spread across his face, causing you to smile back. You stepped back quickly, cheeks burning, and darted toward the gate before he could say anything else.
Once inside, you shut it softly behind you, leaning against the cool metal to steady your racing heartbeat and touching your lips. Curiosity got the better of you, and you peeked through the small hole in the wall that your dad refused to fix.
Martin was still there, frozen in place, and soon enough, he pulled his fist to the sky while walking away, or more like dancing away, down the sidewalk.
âLetâs go!â you heard the scream, and you bit your lip, stifling a laugh of your own.
October came fast, mostly because your parents decided on an uncontested divorce and your dad got the apartment downtown. Yujin jumped when he found out itâs five minutes away from his house. The place felt quieter; your mother had thrown herself into work, and you into whatever kept you from thinking too much: school, council duties, and, against all odds, CORTIS.
Somehow, Martin had managed to stop getting detention every other week. He still mouthed off at the teachers sometimes, wore his ring and the smirk, but he wasnât the same boy who used to skip class just to nap on the rooftop.
It was truly impressive, you saw how he actually took notes during math, how he waited for everyone after band practice instead of just storming off, how he asked the teacher questions about topics, and even delivered small notes on your desk, ones that make you happy, as if it was a normal thing to do.
Leeseo had caught all that and more, dedicating his free time to watching you watching him, whispering, âYouâre so done for,â grinning and doing a couple of mimics with Yujin.
But of course, you denied it every time.Â
Because no one needs to know that you were actually falling for him.
Still, when the last high school exam ended, everyone started spilling out of the classrooms, screaming âfreedom!â the second the bell rang for the end of the day. Everyone stood up joyfully, and from the corner of your eye, you caught sight of Martin coming your way, a bag lazily hanging on his shoulder.
âEverybody listen up!â Yujin shouted, standing on top of a chair and waving his arms dramatically. âToday, itâs the Band of Battles. Letâs all go and support our beautiful high school and CORTIS as a last act of love to this place!âÂ
The whole class erupted in cheers, the rest of the students clapping at his words like he said something revolutionary.
Yujinâs friend, Gunwook, jumped onto a chair too, holding up his hand to point at Martin. âMartin, as the leader, pick a color so we can dress up.âÂ
Martin posed theatrically, pretending to think it through before his eyes looked at you. His grin softened as soon as his fingers brushed the small red bow pinned in your hair.
âI like red today.â The whole class went wild, but his eyes simply scanned the redness that the tip of your ears caught. You tried to act unfazed, but the way he smirked at you made your stomach twist.Â
His mouth went near your ear, âYou can wear whatever you like, you look good in anything.â
By the time the noise died down, so did your heartbeat when he left the classroom, mouthing, âIâll see you thereâ. Everyone had plans and was starting to spread the word before heading home to change and go to the event.
You, on the other hand, had to stay behind, for quite a while, actually.Â
While your classmates flooded out of the building, already buzzing about the performance, you found yourself sitting across from the principal for more than an hour, finalizing the last details for the senior trip next week. Each little break, you looked up at the clock hanging on top of the wall, sighing in relief when he thanked you for your dedication, which was a nice way to say âyou work too muchâ and finally let you go. You were already late, and you at least wanted to arrive one act before the boys.
The hallways were nearly empty now, sunlight slanting through the windows in soft orange streaks. You smiled faintly when you passed a whiteboard where someone had scrawled âCORTIS = Victory!â alongside other words of encouragement.
Your chest felt a little lighter reading it, even making you pull out your camera to snap a picture so you can show it to the band through Keonho later.
You were halfway down the front steps when you saw a woman standing outside the school gates, elegantly dressed in a cream coat and hair pinned neatly back. Without losing the beat of your quick steps, you continued until you felt a presence near you and soon, a hand on your shoulder that made you jump.
âExcuse me,â she called gently, laughing awkwardly at your reaction. âAre you Y/N?â
You hesitated before nodding, âYes⊠Do I know you?â
âOh, Iâm sorry. Iâm Martinâs mom.â
You blinked before bowing down; you didnât expect his mother to look that elegant yet have such an expression that felt oddly familiar.
âNice to meet you.â
âIâm the one I should say that, darling. Iâve heard about you,â she said. âMartin speaks of you more than he probably realizes.â
You couldnât help the smile that formed on your face. âThank you so much.â
âHeâs changed lately,â she said. âHe comes home earlier, studies, and seems steadier. And I know you might have something to do with that positive change.â
You werenât sure how to respond. âWell, heâs been working hard in high school and for the band. You probably already know how much it means to him.â
Her smile faltered, just a tiny bit, before speaking again. âYes, well, thatâs what I wanted to talk to you about.â
âAbout the band?â you frowned, already thinking of what she was about to say.
âMusic has always been a phase for him. His father has great plans, engineering, university abroad, to be specific. I was hoping you could talk to him, convince him to take his future seriously again.â
Thatâs the moment you went speechless. Your mind works ten times faster to choose your words carefully. âWith all respect, Mrs. Park. I don't think it's a phase, and I wonât do that. At all.â
âIâm sorry?â she said, confusion flickering on her face.
âIâve seen him when heâs performing,â you said. âWhen heâs practicing with the band, when heâs writing lyrics on the back of his notebook, heâs not pretending; he looks alive doing that. It's not just a distraction for him; itâs who he actually is.â
You could see how the first crack in her composure showed, lips parted. âYou sound just like him.â
âMaybe thatâs because you both underestimate how much he cares about what he does,â you vented. âI get that engineering might have been his fatherâs and your dream. But music as a whole makes him happy. Whether itâs producing or singing, thatâs how he wants to live his life.â
There was a silence for a moment, so you took that moment to inhale briefly and continue.
"Martin listens to music when heâs feeling stressed. Heâs not into literature, but he writes such good lyrics that you might even think heâs becoming some kind of poet. And the way he looks when heâs playing? Thatâs him in his element.â
The woman lowered her head, sighing. âI just donât want him to throw his future away. Not after everything thatâs happened.â
âMaybe this is his future, it just doesnât look like the one you two pictured.â
 âYouâre a very smart girl, Y/N,â she finally said.
âIâm just honest,â you replied, offering a small smile.
âThatâs even rarer,â she murmured. âI can see why heââ she stopped herself, simply smiling again, âThank you for being good to him.â
An idea came to you, the backpack that was on your shoulder ended in the middle of you two, taking away the pamphlet Seonghyeon and James had given to promote, and extended to her. âHeâs a good person, Mrs. Park. And just like how you believe in him to achieve the engineering future, believe and trust him with his.â
You bowed slightly when she took the paper, walking away to catch the bus that would take you home. Thankfully, you arrived safely.
You kicked off your shoes at the entrance, calling out, âDad, Iâm home!â before leaning down to kiss his forehead as he read through a newspaper on the couch with his work clothes still on.
âHey, kiddo,â he said with a smile. âYou look busy.â
âAlways!â you shouted, darting into your room.
They were still scattered with open notebooks and the faint scent of highlighter ink, stuff youâd temporarily promised yourself to forget tonight.
After the divorce, your dad had insisted on helping you âreclaim the place.â Heâd driven you to buy new clothes, helped you hang posters, and even tolerated the sparkly beaded curtain youâd begged to put on your door. For the first time in months, the room looked like yours, not your motherâs version of perfection.Â
You took the quickest shower and got dressed in record time, the white camisole layered under a cropped denim jacket, a mini skirt with a rhinestone belt, and your sports shoes. A knock on your door made you look away from the mirror.
âCome in!â you called, picking some blush on your brush to put it onto your cheeks.
Your dad peeked in, smiling softly as he stepped inside. âAre you still getting ready?â
âAlmost done, thanks for driving me there,â you replied, setting down the brush.
He chuckled and sat on the edge of your bed, looking around and whistling. âWow, youâre really made this place your own.â
You smiled at his reflection in the mirror proudly. âYeah, I guess I did.â
âYou also seem different lately. Happier.â
âMaybe because exams are over, both of us are in a good place, and Iâm finally hanging out with my friends. Which, by the way, Iâm grateful for.â
âWell, you deserve them since youâve always worked hard,â he smiled. You felt that shift when he was done, suddenly suffocating.
He watched you for a moment, a teasing glint in his eyes. âSo⊠what do you want to ask?â you said, already suspicious.
âNow, why do you think that?â he asked, laughing when you raised an eyebrow at him, seeing him leaning forward with a grin on his face. âWhatâs his name?â
The mascara wand ended halfway to your lashes. âWhat's whose name?â
âThe boy,â he said simply. âAnd donât tell me there isnât one. Iâm not blind. Youâve been smiling more, playing music in your room, and Iâm pretty sure heâs the same boy who brought you home that night.â
You covered your face, groaning, feeling your cheeks getting warmer with each second. âDad, please.â
âSo Iâm right,â he said, amused that his dad instincts didnât betray him. âWhatâs his name?â
The small silence was broken when you sighed softly. âMartin.â
Your dad nodded slowly. âIs that the boy whoâs in that band you mentioned, right?â
âYeah,â you said, trying your best to sound casual. âHeâs their leader, and he has been studying with me since middle school. Kind of stubborn. Really annoying sometimes.â
âHuhââ you could tell by how he was clearly unconvinced. âAnd what makes him so annoying?â
You opened your mouthâready to list somethingâbut nothing came. Instead, what slipped out was, âHe doesnât quit. Even when everyone expects him to.â
Your dad hummed softly.Â
âAnd when he talks about music,â you went on, your mind planting words in a second, âhe gets this look⊠like the rest of the world just disappears, heâs in his own happy place.â
You paused, but somehow the words kept coming. âHeâs also funny,â you admitted, taking your hairclips to fix your hair with a smile tugging at your lips. âNot the kind that tries hard, itâs like, half of the time he says something and you canât even tell if itâs a joke or heâs being serious. It makes you laugh anyway.â
You stood up to pick some rings to match the outfit, continuing to speak. âHeâs kind, pretends he doesnât care, but he remembers things. He smiles with his whole face, and when thereâs something he likes, he wonât stop until he gets it.â
âI thought you were saying something about him being annoying, right?â
Heat crept up your neck immediately. âIâThatâs notâI didnât meanââ
âDarling. Itâs okay, Iâm sure you didnât.â
âOh my God, please stop talking.â You took your essentials quickly and ran to the front door, waiting in the car immediately.Â
The drive was calm, the windows cracked open, making the October air carry faint echoes of music from blocks away. The sunset was painting the sky in streaks of pink and gold.
He glanced at you as they stopped at a red light. âSounds like you really care about him. And so does he.â
âI guess I do,â you whispered before you could stop yourself.
âI would love to meet him properly sometime,â you were about to protest, but he shushed you quickly. âNo âbutsââ
âFine.â You both arrived at the youth center quite fast. The road was already lined with parked cars, students who didnât receive a ticket and decided to enjoy from outside, a handful of paparazzi, and a lot of security.
You heard your dadâs whistle under his breath. âLooks like the whole district showed up.â
âIt really does.â You clutched your bag a little tighter.
He slowed the car near the entrance, smiling as he glanced at you. âAre you nervous?â
You shook your head quickly. âMaybe a little.â
âYouâll do fine.â
âIâm not performing,â you laughed a little, confused.
He grinned, a hand on top of your shoulder. âDidnât say you were. But I have a feeling something might happen.â
You rolled your eyes, unbuckled your seatbelt, and checked one last time that you didnât forget the vip ticket Martin left on your locker.
âThanks for the ride,â you said, kissing his cheek.
âAnytime, sweetheart. Tell me if youâre going somewhere else, and tell Martin I said good luck!â
âDad!â You heard his laugh as you walked away, turning around to wave him off before stepping into the noise of the crowd after safely passing security, although you almost fell after a few of them tried to fight security.
The venue wasnât really one, more like a repurposed parking lot with a stage at one end and strings of lights hanging overhead. Students from different schools packed the space, every single one was excited, waving balloons from side to side or a flashlight.
âY/N!â Leeseo appeared right in front of you, hugging you, and Yujin arrived a little later. âYou just missed like two acts, Hanlim was even better than last year!â
âHow did your meeting go?â Yujin asked, and a smile was more than enough for them.
âThe trip is completely done, there are no problems.â
âFinally!â Yujin grinned. âWe deserve that trip; this year has been trash.â
âNot for Y/N, she finally has a crush,â she sang, Yujin and Leeseo start poking your sides. âYou know Martinâs going to show off.â
You rolled your eyes. âHe always does.â
But your pulse quickened anyway when the stage lights flickered to red and you saw the MC going to the center of the stage, gaining a scream from the crowd.
âWhat a performance from Hanlim!â she said. A roar of cheers from a group of students startled you. âLetâs keep this energy up for the next group, from SOPA⊠give it up for CORTIS!â
The boys walked to the stage, the excitement and screams from the place feeding them. James settled behind the drums, spinning a stick in one hand. Juhoon adjusted his guitar strap, Seonghyeonâs fingers danced over the keys to test it, and Keonho flashed his familiar grin from behind his bass.
Then Martin walked out.
Graphic tee with layered chains, jeans slouching low, sneakers unlaced. Stage lights caught on his chain as he leaned into the mic. âWhatâs up, Seoul!âÂ
Cheers erupted again, a few girls screaming his name and the other guys. âTonight, itâs a special night because weâre performing our self-produced song for the world to hear!â
Leeseo elbowed when you immediately started clapping and cheering.
âEnjoy yourself, love. You deserve this!â Martin started playing some guitar chords.
You remember hearing them practice bits of it during free periods when you walked by to give them some snacks and reminding Keonho about little details to fix for the trip.
Hearing it live was very different from it; all of the instruments crashed together in perfect sync, and you finally listened to all five singing together, which was uncommon for bands. Everyone was shouting along, even if they didnât know the words. In a moment, Martinâs eyes found you. For that split second, you could feel your heart trying to escape from your ribs.Â
âSome people want this, some people want that
Same here, all seventeen years of my life.â
Martin started walking around to interact with people, standing in front of you three.
âChased after love, chased after fame.
So now I want the whole world to know my name.â
He winked at you, feeling it like a spark as heat rushed to your cheeks. Yujin started laughing at your face, and Keonho smiled teasingly at you.
A couple of minutes later, the song ended with a burst of applause, Martin running a hand through his hair before grabbing the mic again.
âAlright,â he said, breathless but grinning. âWeâve got one more for you.âÂ
He paused the moment his gaze found you immediately.Â
You smiled faintly, catching the flicker of nerves in his eyes, and mouthed, âBreathe.â
He huffed out a laugh, the corner of his mouth lifting before turning his head to the band. Juhoon leaned into his mic.
âGo for it, dude.â The five boys laughed, Martin turning back to his mic.
âThis,â he started, âis one of the many songs I wrote for this girl.â His eyes never left yours. âIf it wasnât for you, I donât think Iâd have written any of them.Â
You looked at Leeseo and Yujin on your side; they were smiling already. They knew this would happen.
He stepped back slightly, adjusting the guitar strap on his shoulder, and nodded toward the rest of the band. âItâs called âIris.ââ
"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now."
The lyrics drifted through the air, and though he was looking out toward the audience, every few lines his gaze found its way back to you, long enough that it was impossible to look away.
He wasnât performing anymore. He was confessing to you for a second time.
You felt your throat tighten, fingers twisting around the hem of your jacket, your heart beating full speed, and making you clear of one thing. You were completely in love with that person whom you thought you hated.
"And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am."
The crowd swayed with the melody, arms raised, voices echoing when they learn a little piece of the song. You didnât even realize you were holding your breath until he smiled at you mid-line. The final chorus exploded, lights flashing, the crowd roaring. Martinâs voice cracked slightly on the last noteâand somehow, it made it perfect. You screamed at the very end, chanting with your friends, âCORTIS!â.
The five joined Martin, bowing down in gratitude with big smiles on their faces. Juhoon was teary-eyed, and you could tell that it moved the rest of the members as they walked out. The MC came back, impressed.
âWow! Cortis really wants the money. We will have a five-minute break so the judges can decide.â Â
Leeseo grabbed your arm, eyes wide. âY/N⊠I think you just got serenaded.â
âGo see him.â Yujin pointed at the small hallway you could go to. You looked at him, panicking.
âLike now?â
âYes!â Both of them pushed you there, moving for a couple of minutes before you reach it. You waited for the security to get distracted to enter there, closing it as fast as you opened it.
At a distance, you saw Martin laughing while watching James and Keonho jumping in happiness, James even half-yelling something about ânot missing the last chord for once.â
You slipped past the curtain, unsure whether to find him or run before someone teased you for looking like you belonged there.
âNoona!â
Too late. You turned just in time to see Seonghyeon spot you instantly.Â
His shout was loud enough to catch the attention of all five.
âPrez!â Keonho was the first to move, practically launching himself into your arms before you could even react. âWhat do you think, Prez?â
You laughed, stumbling back half a step under his weight. âI think youâre all still dangerously hyper.â
âWe totally killed it, what do you mean?â Juhoon cut in proudly, slinging an arm over Keonhoâs shoulders. James raised his drumsticks triumphantly in agreement, and Seonghyeon grinned from behind the keyboard setup, already pretending to wipe sweat off his brow dramatically.
You shook your head fondly, brushing hair from your face. âYou guys were amazing. Really.â
He was standing a few feet away, hair damp with sweat, guitar strap still hanging loose at his side. The grin he wore was boyish, tired, and radiant all at once.
âOccupational hazard,â he said with a shrug, stepping closer. âSo? Howâd we do?â
âYouâre asking the school council president for a review?â you teased.
âI trust your judgment,â he said simply.Â
âMore like his crush judgment,â Seonghyeon spoke, hissing later after Juhoon pinched him.
âCan you leave us alone for a sec?â Martin looked at James.
âYou all heard him! Step back, ladies,â you laughed at the funny view of them trying to listen.
The grin softened before becoming quiet again. âSo?â
You exhaled, letting yourself smile despite yourself. âYou were amazing, Martin. Really.â
He froze for a heartbeat, eyes lighting up. âYou mean that?â
You nodded. âEvery word.â
He ran a hand through his hair, pretending to play it cool, but the faint flush at the tips of his ears betrayed him. âGuess that means I can cash in on my deal.â
You frowned. âDeal?â
âThe one where if we win, you owe me a date.â
You scoffed, trying not to grin. âYou havenât even won yet.â
He leaned in a little, lowering his voice. âWe both know weâre not walking out of here without that trophy and cash.â
You were about to fire back something smart when the loudspeaker crackled to life outside.
âAll bands, please gather near the stage! Results will be announced!â
He looked at you and smirked. âCome on, front row like before, Prez.â
The crowd was electric again when you came back, students pressing closer to the makeshift stage, voices rising in chaotic chants. Hanlim Highâs band stood on one side, exhausted but smiling; CORTIS stood on the other. You could sense the adrenaline pulsing through their little group.
You stood with Leeseo and Yujin near the barricade, your heart weirdly hammering even though you werenât the one competing. You three held hands.
âAnd the winners of this yearâs Battle of the BandsâŠâ the announcer said, drawing it out. The entire lot went silent for a breath.
ââŠCORTIS!â
The explosion of sound was immediate.
Students screamed, threw confetti, jumped, and cheered so loud you could barely hear the bandâs name being repeated over the speakers. Keonho dropped to his knees, James banged a drum in celebration, and Juhoon lifted his guitar triumphantly in the air.
Martin just stood there for a second, blinking in disbelief as he grabbed the big cardboard check before looking toward you through the chaos.
You clapped your hands over your mouth, laughing, and he broke into the brightest smile youâd ever seen. Then, like it was instinct, he pointed right at you before turning to grab the mic.
âThis oneâs for SOPA High, and for the people who never stopped believing in us!â he shouted. âEspecially one of them.â
Leeseo smirked beside you. âIf you donât date him soon, I will.â
You didnât get a chance to reply because Martin had already jumped off the stage into the crowd, swallowed by a sea of cheering hands and students trying to high-five him. You decided not to bother the moment by moving near a corner to breathe properly with Leeseo next to you, who was almost suffocating.
Later, when the crowd started thinning, people made plans to celebrate at a nearby karaoke place. Banners were torn down, the lights dimmed, and laughter filled the streets as everyone drifted away in groups.
You were helping Yujin pick up some discarded signs when you noticed Martin slipping away from the commotion, walking towards you with a smile. Before he could reach you, he paused, looking right behind you.
Following his gaze, you saw her.
His mom.
Standing near both of you, clutching her bag, and if your vision wasnât playing, you could see her eyes wet from what sheâd just watched.
Martin froze when he saw her. For a second, he looked like a little boy again, before taking a slow step forward to be next to you.
âMom,â he said quietly.
She smiled faintly, her voice soft. âYou were incredible.â
He blinked, caught off guard. âYou⊠came?â
âI had some help,â she said, glancing to your side, and your heart skipped when you realized she meant you.
Martin turned slightly. You gave a small bow before stepping back.
âI will give you two some space,â you bowed again before walking to where Leeseo and Juhoon were standing.Â
When he looked back at his mom, her eyes were already glistening.
âI see what she meant,â she said.
He frowned slightly. âWhat did who mean?â
âY/N,â she said. âShe told me that music isnât your rebellion, itâs more like your peace.â Her voice trembled slightly, but her smile didnât waver. âShe was right. You looked⊠happy. Really happy.â
Martin swallowed hard. âMomâŠâ
âIâve been thinking about something for months,â she continued, clutching her purse tighter. âAnd after tonight, I think I've finally made up my mind.â She paused, steadying her breath. âIâm going to file for divorce.â
His eyes widened in surprise, a sudden feeling of relief occupying his whole body. âYouâre serious?â
She nodded. âI canât keep pretending everythingâs fine. And I think you, your father, and I both deserve honesty, even if it hurts.â
Martinâs throat tightened. âIâm proud of you, Mom.â
Her smile wavered, tears finally spilling over. âNo, sweetheart. Iâm proud of you.â
He didnât hesitate, just stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. This was the first time in a while he gave and felt a hug that was that tight and overdue.Â
After a while, she pulled back and brushed his hair from his forehead, her voice quiet. âYouâve grown up so much. And that girl⊠sheâs good for you.â
Martin blinked, glancing instinctively toward where you stood, half-hidden behind the fence. You were talking to Leeseo, occasionally looking at him with your smile.
âSheâs a great girl,â his mom added softly. âDonât let her slip away.â
He smiled, that same shy, crooked smile that only ever showed up when it came to you. âI wonât.â
âCortis and friends!â she screamed, not even willing to bat their eyelids. âGrab your stuff and get in the car, food is on me.â
As his mom turned to leave for the car, he looked back toward you again. You were laughing now as you watched James running at the word food, the streetlights glinting off your red bow as you tucked your hair behind your ear.
And for the first time in a long while, Martin didnât feel like the boy running away from everything. He felt like someone finally heading toward something worth staying for.
· · â ·â¶Â· â · ·
The school courtyard was anything but calm. Countless rolling suitcases, half-zipped duffel bags, and sleepy students chugging canned coffee like their lives depended on it to keep awake for at least of the way there.
After a weekend of endless messages about CORTISâ victory on Cyworld and your classmates posting grainy flip-phone photos of Martin grinning with the trophy, it felt surreal that it was finally trip day. The band made sure they cashed the prize and gave you a big amount for the prom if they got to perform again, which you obviously agreed to.
You adjusted your backpack and sighed as Leeseo ran up to you, waving a folded permission slip.
âCan you believe theyâre trusting us with three whole nights away from supervision?â she grinned.
âPlease,â you said, smiling faintly. âYou know half the teachers are going to patrol the halls like spies.â
Yujin jogged up behind her, yawning. âIâm only here for the free breakfast buffet.â
âYouâre here because you begged to be in my room,â Leeseo shot back.
âPrez!â
You turned instinctively, only for Keonho to appear out of nowhere, blocking your view with a grin too wide to be innocent. Last time he gave you that type of smile, you were in the director's office.
âMorning!â he said brightly, holding a carton of banana milk. âYou want one?â
You frowned, eyeing him. âYou hate banana milk.â
âDo I?â He glanced down, pretending to think. âMaybe Iâve changed.â
Before you could answer, Juhoon popped up behind him. âY/N! Quick question: if a band wins something again, should the prize money go into savings or celebration snacks?â
You blinked. âWhat?â
âSnacks,â James said immediately, dragging his suitcase past.
âDefinitely savings,â Seonghyeon countered.
âHold on, I didnât evenââ
âExactly!â Keonho interrupted, looping an arm through yours. âWe are the only ones who can settle it. Come on, letâs walk and talk, far away from the buses.â
You narrowed your eyes. âWhat are you guys up to?â
âNothing,â they chorused, which was, of course, the most suspicious answer possible.
By the time you reached the front of the boarding area, the CORTIS boys had somehow managed to keep you talking about everything from âthe ethics of snack budgetingâ to âwho snores the loudest during overnight tripsâ (it was apparently James).
Every time you tried to glance toward the loading buses, one of them moved strategically into your line of sight.
âOkay,â you said finally, crossing your arms. âWhatâs going on? And donât say ânothingâ again.â
Before you could press further, the teachers started calling everyone to board.
âSaved by the bell,â Seonghyeon muttered, pushing his suitcase forward.
You squinted suspiciously at all four of them. âYouâre all terrible liars.â
Keonho only winked. âWe learned from the best.â
You rolled your eyes but couldnât stop smiling as you followed them onto the bus.
· · â ·â¶Â· â · ·
The trip flew by in a blur of beach air, sightseeing, and several promposals that only happened when a hundred high school seniors were given freedom for three days straight and allowed their use of free will. You even helped out with Yujinâs promposal to Leeseo, to which she accepted happily.
You found yourself laughing more than you had in months, mostly because the CORTIS boys had taken it upon themselves to make every activity as dramatic as possible.
At lunch, James accidentally tripped and dropped an entire tray of kimbap, dramatically claiming it was âartistic sacrifice.â Juhoon tried to serenade a teacher with a guitar for bonus points on attendance. And the best for last was probably Keonho and Seonghyeon attempting to sneak extra dessert for everyone, only to get caught by the cafeteria lady, who then gave them more because she found them âcharming.â
You werenât sure when it happened, but somehow, their energy became the highlight of the trip.
Every so often, though, you caught Martin watching you from across the group, who you were impressed by how distracted he looked all this trip, exchanging some words with you now and then.
On the last night, during the ârecreation period,â the teachers announced everyone could stay in the courtyard area to watch the sunset and enjoy the small outdoor stage.Â
You and Leeseo were sitting near the front, sharing a pack of chips on a break after a small duet given by Wonbin and Liz.
âYujin, what are you moving your head like a meerkat? Youâre stressing me out.â Leeseoâs eyebrows furrowed.
âOkay, donât freak out, but I think something is happening.â
âWhat do you mean?â you asked, already getting stressed out. You might have changed a little bit, but you were still a little perfectionist.
Music started playing from the speakers, and your mind instantly recognized the familiar brass riff it had.
âYouâre just too good to be trueâŠâ
Your jaw dropped at the voice of Martin. âLeeseo, is this real?.â
âOh, yes,â Leeseo whispered, eyes sparkling. You didnât notice how she was holding a recording camera, pointing it at you.
Martin opened the curtain that worked as a background on the stage, his gaze fully on you. Martin jumped off the stage, mic in hand, grinning as he began to sing the classic with over-the-top theatrics.
âCanât take my eyes off of youâŠâ
He pointed at you on the last word, and everyone screamed.
You covered your face, but it was useless. Martin was committed. He climbed onto one of the benches, sang to the teachers (who pretended not to laugh), and even slid down on one knee in front of a startled Yujin, who dramatically clutched his heart.
The entire class was upside down as the music built. He ran up the small aisle and stopped right in front of you.
You were laughing so hard you could barely breathe. âMartinââ
He was interrupted by singing directly to you, his grin wider than ever.
âI love you, baby, and if itâs quite alrightâŠâ
You buried your face in your hands, but he gently pulled them away, still singing. The crowd clapped along to the beat, the boys behind him quickly moving. Martin spun around, giving a cue to Juhoon to give him a flower bouquet to go again in front of you, kneeling on one knee.
When the song finally ended, Martin was breathless, sweat-damp hair sticking to his forehead, but his eyes never left yours.
Behind him, James and Seonghyeon were holding a banner, the phrase: âI may not be Shakespeare, but I promise prom with me will be a sonnet.â
The entire courtyard went silent.Â
He held the mic higher, the faint tremor in his hand betraying the adrenaline rushing through him. Despite the wide grin on his face, you could see his chest rising and falling a little too fast.
âSoâŠâ he said, catching his breath. âI think itâs pretty obvious what my feelings about you are.âÂ
âYou drive me insane, make me want to be better, even when I swear I donât care about anything.â He chuckled softly, shaking his head. âBut I do. I care too much, especially when it comes to you.â
A few students in the front row let out small gasps, someone whispering, âOh my god, heâs serious.â
Martin looked down for a second, the mic brushing against his lip as if he needed that pause to steady himself. When he lifted his head again, there was no smirk this time.e
âMaybe you donât see it yet despite me saying I had this crush on you that night,â he said, voice softer now, âbut when I look at you, itâs like the noise stops. And thatâs saying something, coming from me.â The crowd laughed gently, and even you couldnât help the small smile that broke through your shock.
Then he tilted his head, eyes glinting. âSo yeah,â he said, tone dipping back into that familiar warmth, âI had to do this your way because words werenât cutting it anymore.â
The crowd burst into cheers again, clapping and whistling, chanting your name and his. You were still processing the words, your heart thudding painfully fast, when he looked straight at you again, a half-smile tugging at his lips.
âSo, Y/N,â he said, almost shyly this time, pointing at the banner behind him that was shaken by the boys, âwill you go to prom with me?â
The crowd collectively held its breath.
You blinked, stunned, then let out a shaky laugh. âYou couldâve just asked, you know.â
He grinned, his breath still uneven, voice hoarse from the singing and the nerves.
âYeah, but whereâs the fun in that?â
You looked at him, the boy whoâd spent half a year driving you crazy and the other half trying to make you smile. Your hand brushed against his as you took the bouquet. âMartin,â you said softly, eyes meeting his, âyes. Of course Iâll go with you.â
The courtyard eruptedâcheers, applause, a few whistles from the back. Juhoon and James started playing the outro riff again, and Keonho let out a triumphant, âShe said yes!â into the backup mic.
Martin blinked at you like he wasnât sure heâd heard right. âWaitâreally?â
You laughed, warmth blooming in your chest. âReally.â
For a moment, he just stared, then he exhaled, his smile breaking into something so bright it made your stomach twist. âIâmâuhâwow. Okay.â
The boys were already pushing him forward, shouting for him to say something cool, but he just chuckled helplessly, scratching the back of his head.Â
âHug each other, idiots!â Yujin screamed, and before you could react, Martinâs arms wrapped around you, lifting you clean off the ground.
Your surprised laugh got lost in the roar of the crowd. He spun you once, just enough for your shoes to leave the pavement, and when he set you down, your heart was racing far faster than it shouldâve
As the music picked up again, his hand reached out instinctively, brushing a loose strand of hair from your cheek. He looked like he wanted to say moreâso much moreâbut instead, he whispered, âSee you at night, Y/N.â
Your frowned. âWait, what?â
Before you could demand an explanation, Leeseo grabbed your wrist. âNo time for questionsâletâs go.â
âWhat are you talking about?â you asked, stumbling after her.
She only grinned. âOperation âDate Night,â obviously.â
âExcuse me, what?â
Yujin was waiting near the dorms, arms crossed like an overexcited manager. âMartinâs orders. Youâre not allowed to show up in a school jacket in a romantic setting. Leeseo, you know what to do.â
âOn it,â she said, pulling you inside.
Ten minutes later, your room looked like a battlefield of denim, perfume, and lip gloss.
Leeseo had raided your bag, holding up two outfits with the seriousness of a stylist dressing an idol.
âOkay, option one: the floral skirt and cardigan combo. Itâs cute, safe, and very student council president. Option twoâŠâ She tossed a bundle at you. âSomething thatâll make him forget his own lyrics.â
You gave her a look. âYouâre insane.â
âAnd youâre welcome.â
Leeseo was taking her sweet time; everything she was doing was slow and steady, keeping you busy with prom details and suggesting matching colors and opinions for her and Yujin for the event. Which also made you think if Martin is into matching colors.
When you finally looked in the mirror, the second Leeseo screamed in joy, you barely recognized yourself. The simple denim skirt paired with a white tank layered under a cropped cardigan, your hair loose and soft around your shoulders. A thin silver necklace rested at your collarbone.
âThank you, Leeseo.â You hugged her tightly.
âAnything to see you leaving this school with your first boyfriend and have your first kiss.â You laughed at her tease, face turning red. You left the dorm to start walking to the place, the sun had already dipped below the horizon, and you were sure that it was leaving behind streaks of rose and violet across the water.
When you reached the beach, fairy lights were strung between two wooden poles, flickering softly. A small speaker played a slow guitar riff, so it was clear he was there.
And there, sitting cross-legged on a picnic blanket with a basket on his side, was Martin.
He wasnât dressed like the usual; he decided to wear a plain white tee layered under an open gray button-up, dark jeans cuffed at the ankles, and a simple silver chain that glinted every time he moved. His sneakers were scuffed, but clean, and his hair still messy from earlier, like he hadnât bothered to fix it because he knew youâd recognize him anyway.
He looked up as soon as he heard your footsteps, that same lopsided grin tugging at his lips. âHey.â
âHey yourself,â you said, trying not to sound as breathless as you suddenly felt. âSo this was your mysterious âsee you tonightâ plan?â
He rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly. âYeah. The guys helped. Keonho almost set the lights on fire, but we made it work.â
You laughed, shaking your head as you sat beside him. âThis is⊠nice.â
âYeah?â he asked, trying not to look too eager.
âYeah,â you said softly, your gaze drifting toward the waves. âReally nice.â
He exhaled, shoulders dropping. âGood. I was worried itâd feel too much.â
âNot at all, Tin,â he laughed at the nickname.
For a while, you talked about everything and nothing while eating. The songs they were writing, the stress of exams finally being over, minus the one for college, and how Leeseo had forced you to change outfits under threat of âfashion failure.â
Martin was quieter than usual. His usual sarcasm softened into warmth, his eyes flickering between you and the sea from time to time.
âYou really didnât have to do all this,â you said at one point, voice gentle.
He shook his head. âI wanted to. I just⊠wanted you to have a night that wasnât about expectations or responsibilities. Just⊠you.â
That made you look up, startled, and for a second, neither of you said anything.
The wind tugged at your hair, and he reached forward instinctively like before, brushing it back behind your ear. His hand lingered, thumb grazing your jaw as his breath caught.
âMartinâŠâ you whispered, your voice barely audible.
He didnât move closer, but he didnât move away either. His eyes flicked to your lips, then back to your eyes, as if he were fighting himself.
âI shouldnât,â he murmured, half to himself. âNot unless youââ
Your heart stuttered. âUnless I what?â
He smiled faintly. âUnless youâd actually let me.â
You opened your mouth, but before you could speak, a loud crash echoed from behind the dunes.
âREALLY YUJIN?!â Keonhoâs voice.
You both jumped apart, laughing in disbelief.
âOh my god,â you groaned, covering your face. âThey were spying?â
Martin ran a hand through his hair, chuckling. âI told them to stay in their rooms.â
Another yell followed. âDid they kiss yet?â
You looked at each other, bursting out laughing, really laughing, until your stomach hurt and the tension melted. Martin leaned back on his hands, still smiling. âGuess they saved us from doing something weâd probably overthink later.â
You nudged his shoulder. âProbably.â
He turned to you again, that same soft look from the concert flickering across his face. âStill,â he said quietly, âyou make overthinking kind of worth it.â
Your breath caught, but you just smiled. âYouâre impossible.â
âAnd yet, here you are,â he teased.
âYeah,â you said, glancing at him through your lashes. âHere I am.â
· · â ·â¶Â· â · ·
Martin and you got closer than ever, and even though it wasnât official yet, not even your father could deny the chemistry between you two. You spent afternoons studying together, stealing glances over textbooks, and laughing about how far youâd come. The bond grew quietly, in the little things: late-night calls, going out with all of them, and the way he always walked you home after those little evenings, even when it meant taking the long route.
By the time November came around, the entrance exam was long over. The pressure had finally lifted, replaced by a sense of pride and relief. To your fortune, youâd gotten the scholarship for the career youâd always dreamed of, and everyone couldnât be prouder.Â
Graduation day was full of bittersweet smiles. You got your physical pictures, one of you and Martin, standing close with your caps tilted while he carried you, another with your best friends, not leaving behind Keonho and Seonghyeon, who came to see you all six of you graduate. All of you are holding onto that perfect moment before life pulls you in different directions.Â
âCan you please stop looking at the picture with your boyfriend and help me with my hair like you promised?â You turned your head to see Leeseo struggling to remove the hair rollers.Â
âHeâs not my boyfriend.â
âYet,â she moved her eyebrows up and down, happily seeing the look on your face.
Leeseo had barged into your room hours earlier, armed with curling irons, body glitter, and enough lip gloss to coat a car. Your bedroom floor was a battlefield of shoe boxes, safety pins, and half-zipped purses.
âThank you, now turn so I can help you,â she ordered, tugging at the straps of your satin dress. It was simple but elegant. Soft champagne color, an a-line skirt, and a ribbon that tied at the back. Your silver necklace gleamed faintly at your collarbone, the same one youâd worn at the beach.
âLeeseo, I think my ribs canât breathe,â you muttered.
âThatâs how you know it fits,â she said, completely unfazed. âNow smile. Youâre about to make a boy combust.â
âStop,â you groaned, cheeks already heating.
By the time you finished curling your hair, the doorbell rang, making you both freeze in place.
âTheyâre here,â she whispered dramatically.
Leeseo grabbed her clutch, smoothing her pastel blue dress. âYou ready?â
You exhaled slowly, heart fluttering. âAs Iâll ever be.â
When you opened your bedroom door, your father was already downstairs, peeking through the hallway mirror before unlocking it.
The door swung open to reveal Yujin and Martin. Yujin wore a pale gray suit that was clearly too tight around his shoulders, and Martin⊠Martin was in a black suit jacket over a white dress shirt, sleeves rolled casually to his elbows, and his signature silver chain glinting faintly at his collarbone. His hair was swept back loosely, enough to look polished without losing that âMartinâ edge.
You heard your dad talking. âAh, so these are the young men Iâve been hearing about.â
âSir,â Yujin said quickly, bowing with his usual charm. âWe promise to bring your daughter back before midnight.â
Your dad raised an eyebrow. âYou'd better. I know where the school is.â
Martin laughed under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck. âI will tell my mom that, sir.â
Then you appeared at the top of the stairs, and for a secondâjust a secondâMartin forgot how to breathe.
Heâd seen you in a thousand different ways: annoyed, serious, focused, laughing. But this was new, and it surely made his pulse stutter.
You hesitated halfway down the stairs. âHey.â
âHey,â he said quietly, eyes following you until you reached the last step.
Leeseo descended right behind you, looking stunning in her powder-blue dress, immediately elbowing you when she caught Martin staring.
âAlright, everyone,â your dad said, breaking the silence with a teasing smile, âbefore you leave, I need a photo. This is a once-in-a-lifetime occasion, you donât see this in Seoul.â
âDadââ you began, but he was already grabbing the camera from the counter.
âLine up,â he ordered.
Yujin and Leeseo posed first, grinning widely. Then he waved at you and Martin. âYour turn.â
You exchanged a helpless look with Martin before stepping closer. His hand brushed yours until your dad adjusted the frame.
âCloser,â he said. âYou two look like youâre taking an ID photo.â
Martin chuckled softly, sliding an arm around your waist. His hand rested lightly against your back, and you swore your heartbeat could be heard across the room.
Your dad smiled behind the camera. âThere we go. Perfect.â Click.
The flash went off, and you both blinked, still standing close, when he lowered the camera.
âBeautiful,â your father said warmly. âNow go, before you make me cry.â
You laughed, shaking your head. âWeâll see you later, Dad.â
âHave fun, sweetheart,â he said, then glanced at Martin with mock seriousness. âBe safe.â
âYes, sir,â Martin said, smiling.
âYou clean up well,â you said, forcing a casual smile.
âYou too. Didnât know the Prez had a gown in her closet.â
âDidnât know you owned a shirt with buttons.â
Yujin cleared his throat loudly. âOkay, thatâs enough flirting for the driveway. Mrs. Parkâs waiting!â
You turned to see Martinâs mom, sitting in the front seat of her car, waving with a proud smile. âCome on, kids!â
She looked radiant, freer than she had the last time youâd seen her. When you climbed in beside Leeseo, she glanced back at you through the mirror. âYou both look beautiful.â
âThank you,â you said, touched.
The car rolled up to the school gym, saying goodbye to his mom before going inside with your arm wrapped around Martinâs. The windows were glowing gold from the string lights inside that were giving out the theme âGolden Memories.â You could already hear the song mix the DJ was creating on the spot.
âI can believe the committee pulled this off,â You smiled proudly, thankful for the art club's offering to help out with the decorations art club did.Â
âNot bad for a bunch of overworked seniors.â
âYou guys are late!â
James started to have his arms, Keonho, Seonghyeon, and Juhoon at his sides, waving calmly near the entrance. You find it funny how Jamesâs tie was crooked, Juhoon was trying to help him fix it, and the other two were holding a notebook that you recognized as Martinâs.Â
âNice of you to dress up, boys,â Martin called, grinning.
âDress up?â Seonghyeon huffed, âItâs not even my graduation, and I look better than the three of you.â
âYou girls look great.â Keonho smiled, walking up to hug you first before going to Martinâs.
âOur leader is all grown up. Wearing a tie, bringing a date⊠next thing you know, heâll start paying taxes.â
âDonât curse me like that,â Martin laughed it off.
You looked at Yujin and Leeseo. Despite laughing it off and teasing like usual, it was no news that it was their last big night as CORTIS before graduation. And although they were really committed to the band and set a goal to go a long way, it was their last performance in high school before life pulled them in different directions.
Seonghyeon mustâve felt it too, because when he clapped Martinâs shoulder, his voice wavered slightly. âLetâs have fun today.â
âOh, we will have fun.â A song started playing, and Leeseo dropped Yujinâs arm.
âCome on, weâre not wasting a good song!â She immediately dragged you to the dance floor, feeling Martinâs gaze behind you.
Leeseoâs infectious energy made you join after a moment of hesitation; even the boys joined in after a few songs. Everyone lost count of how many songs they danced and went inside the circle, and by the time the slow songs rolled in, everyone started to pull their partners.
You were about to sit down, but you caught Martinâs eye once. He smiled at you while excusing himself to cross the floor toward you. The lights dimmed, and your teacher took the stage with a mic in hand.
âOkay, everyone. We are going to do this quickly. Letâs announce your prom king and queen. I need the president of the student council to come to hand the crowns.â
You left Martin to pick up the cushion that had both crowns and stay at the end of the stage.
âTo remind all of you, the voting was done by taking paper and writing the name of the person you thought was suitable for the title. Letâs start by naming the king.âÂ
He flipped the card, sighing at the result. He paused for effect. âMartin Edwards.â
Your jaw dropped, watching your friends go wild, shoving him forward as he was in disbelief. He walked to the stage, standing in front of you. You took the crown to neatly put it on top of his head.
âCongratulations, Tin,â he smiled, walking away to stand behind the teacher.
âNow, to our prom queenâŠâ he repeated the pause from before. âItâs my honor to say this. Y/N!â
You blinked, the spotlight turning toward you and your shocked face. Martin went to you quickly, taking your crown and putting it on top of your head. He threw the cushion away to take your hand, interwining your fingers.
âWas this planned?â you said, laughing, slightly red from embarrassment.
âI donât know. But I guess that makes you my queen tonight, huh?â he teased.
âDonât push your luck,â you smiled.
âNow, the king and the queen will slow dance. Students, the floor is yours.â The crowd began to sway, and Martin offered his hand, his usual cockiness melting.
âMay I have this dance, Your Majesty?â
You tried not to laugh as you placed your hand in his. âFine. But donât step on my dress.â
âIâll try my best,â he said, grinning.
As you both stood in the middle, his hands sat at your waist politely. Thanks to the heels, you could reach enough to wrap your arms around his neck, fingers playing with the back of his hair.
âCanât believe I came with the queen of prom.â
âSay the king himself, I think we are both lucky,â he smiled. Neither of you spoke for a moment; the song made you replay some memories you had with your friends, and soon enough, with Martin.
âYou know,â he murmured finally. âI never really liked dances, even more the ones where my mom used to force me to go for her work.â
You looked up, amused. âWhyâs that?â
âBecause I never had anyone worth dancing with.â Since you didnât know what to say, you let yourself sway with him. Your head rested lightly against his chest.
You didnât even realize that your friends and more couples joined in. You noticed when the music started to fade away. Martin cursed under his breath, looking at you.
âIs it time for your performance?â Â
âYeah, Iâll be back. I promise,â he took your hands from his neck, kissing the top of them before going to the stage. You looked to your left, seeing Yujin and Leeseo smiling at you.
âWhat are you thinking?â you sighed, lovestruck.
âOn how I will confess to him after this.â Both of them stopped their moves, the tap of the mic being tested rebounding on the gymnasium.Â
âWe still have a little more than half an hour to end this night. And before we wrap up, letâs welcome CORTIS to the stage.â
The applause was quick to come, them moving on the stage, exchanging nods between them. Martin stepped forward while everyone got their instruments ready.
âHey, everyone,â he said. âWe didnât plan to play tonight, but this is our last time together before we graduate. So⊠this is for all of you. For the friend who stuck around, the teacher who, although I knew I wasnât particularly his favorite student,â the place laughed softly. âThey still listened and advised us with warm hearts.â
He paused for a minute, looking at the boys whose eyes were probably as glossy as his. âThis is not the end, but a little break before we go all in. Keonho. Seonghyeon, hope we can play at your graduation, and thank you for trusting the band.â
They started with two of their own songs, dancing along with everyone and screaming the songs at the top of their lungs. Energy was never missed when it came to them, even more since they played like it was the last thing theyâd ever do, and maybe in a way, it was.
When the applause finally died down, Martin took a sip of water with his members, stepping back to the mic afterward.
âThankââ
âWait!â James stopped Martin, who was as confused as the rest of the place, minus the four boys. âThereâs one more song.â
Martin walked to him with the rest behind them, covering his mic with his palm. Quickly returning after some clarification.
âThis is a surprise,â he stated. âI wasnât supposed to release this song this soon. I want to thank you guys for creating the instrumental and letting me perform this, and I want to thank my muse for inspiring me to write this song. This is called âEverlongââ
The keyboards started, his voice filled the room, and after a couple of verses, Seonghyeon joined.
"And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever be this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang."
You simply stood there, digesting the lyrics while people danced to the beat. You didnât cry until the last note faded, applauding with a smile on your face. Yujin and Leeseo stood to your sides and then watched the boys on stage, officially tearing up.
You feel bad to realize how loved you were by your friends, and how much you had taken Martinâs silent warmth for granted. He was loud and proud about his feelings for you, even if the tactic at first wasnât that clear; he later never let you forget you mattered. In moments like this, you finally saw the depth beneath his jokes.Â
You went to the refreshment table after the set, drinking some soda to calm yourself down.
âThere you are,â you heard his voice. He was still a little breathless, and his jacket was on his arms, his shirt sleeves rolled higher.Â
You smiled, suddenly a wave of nerves rushing through your body at his presence. It was now or never, âI want you to come with me.â
âWhereââ
âI have to tell you something.â You grabbed his hand, he instinctively looked at it, and softly bit the smile that was threatening to show.
âShow me the way.â You led him to your table, grabbing your clutch and leaving your crown. You passed the chatter through the back doors that opened onto the empty football field. The night air was crisp, and the stars were faint, but somehow still visible and giving a nice glow to the night.
You stopped standing on one of the bleachers in the field so you could be slightly higher, letting go of his hand to turn toward him.
He smiled, a little confused. âY/N, if this is about the songââ
âItâs not,â you said, heart hammering. âOkay, maybe it is.â
âOh my God, do you feel embarrassed? I didnât mean toââ
âI know what you meant,â you interrupted softly. âAnd youâre right.â
He frowned slightly. âRight about what?â
You exhale. âThat everything feels real when itâs with you.â
You decided to step down the bleachers on time. âI didnât even realize it at first because I truly believed you were just annoying me, to throw me off and my record. But then you started showing upânot just for meâto everyone. And every time you did, I found myself noticing more.â
âLikeâŠ?â
âThe way you smile when something finally works for you, how you live your life with no regrets, and how your heart is so pure that you donât even care if the other person hates you. You are there.â
You took a shaky breath, your hand clutching your purse more. âAnd somewhere between wanting to hate you and trying not to fall for you. I did.â
âYes,â a small laugh broke through at his pure face of disbelief. âI fell for you, Martin Edwards.â
You could see his throat bob as he swallowed hard, his voice a little rough when he finally spoke.Â
âSay it again,â he said softly.
âWhat?â
âMy name. Like that.â His lips curved upward, shy and boyish at the same time. âIt sounds so pretty when you say it.â
Your cheeks warmed instantly. âYouâre unbelievable.â
He chuckled, getting closer to the bleachers, looking up at you. âYou have no idea how long Iâve been waiting to hear thatâwell, not that exactly, but close.â
âI can imagine it after you told me that night.â
âWhich, by the way, were those two years of you calling me a nuisance, giving me detention, pretending you didn't look for me at every assembly?â
You laughed, âI had to check if I was going to get called out because of you.â
âI noticed at a distance since you were the only person who actually saw me, even when you swore you couldnât stand me.â
The wind picked up, making the bleachers creak and your hair sweep across your face. Your hands went to your arms, blaming yourself for being so forgetful and not picking up your sweater from the table. He stood on the deck of the bleacher, and his jacket was quickly placed over your shoulders.
And just what you thought, he reached out and tucked your hair behind your ear again, with he difference that his hand stayed on your cheek, his thumb caressing your skin.
âI didnât mean to fall for you either,â he admitted, looking down. âBut I did. And I donât regret a second of it.â
You smiled before reaching into your clutch, hand trembling, and pulled out an envelope.
âI was supposed to wait until tomorrow when we go to Yujinâs house,â you said, âbut I canât.â
He took it, puzzled, and watched what it contained. His eyes widened the second he saw the tickets, audibly gasping.
âThereâs no wayââ
âTwo tickets to see Linkin Park in Seoul,â you smiled nervously. âConsider it a date. Come with me on Friday, and donât say âmaybeâ.â
He reached for your hands. âYou really are something else.â
âSomething good?â you teased.
He looked at the sky. âYou are something out of this world. God, youâreââ
Before he could finish, you leaned up on your tiptoes, your hand finding his tie to pull him down just like before, but this time, you didnât hesitate.
Your lips brushed his, his breath caught, and then he kissed you back, gentle at first, as if afraid to break the moment. You froze for half a second, feeling your heart pounding so hard you could almost hear it over the faint music coming from the gym.Â
Your nose bumped his, your fingers trembled against his chest, but Martin didnât care. He smiled into the kiss, pulling back only enough to whisper. âWow,â
You nodded, breathless at how his eyes were looking so fondly at you. âThat was my first.â
His eyes softened. âGood. Then Iâm glad it was me.â
You didnât even realize you were smiling until he rested his forehead against yours, both of you laughing quietly for no reason other than sheer disbelief.
âOH MY GOD!â
You jumped apart. From the edge of the field, a cluster of silhouettes waved frantically like South Korea two years ago for the World Cup. You hid your face on the curve that connected his neck and shoulder, his arms engulfing you.
âFinally!â Leeseo hissed, hugging Yujin happily while he had a smile on his face.
âPay up, Seonghyeon.â James snickered, waving a few bills.Â
âIt took you three years, love your perseverance!â Juhoon screamed, and you couldnât help but laugh from your spot.
âWorth the wait!â Yujin yelled, pretending to wipe fake tears.
You covered your face, groaning. âThey were watching?!â
Martin just laughed, âOf course they were. They were looking at us from the gym.â
He turned toward them, raising your joined hands like a victory gesture. The others erupted in cheers, chanting both your names like a ridiculous anthem.
âAlso, did I just hear âPay upâ?â Martin raised his shoulder, giving away the answer. You huffed, âCanât believe theyâve been betting on us.â
âYeah,â he murmured. âAnd for once, I donât mind losing.â
You shook your head, laughing despite yourself. âYouâre ridiculous.â
He looked back at you, his eyes were full of every emotion you were both feeling. âRidiculously in love with you.â
And before you could think twice, he leaned in again, slower this time, just enough for your lashes to brush his cheek, for you to close your eyes and let the world spin quietly around you.
You didnât even care if your friends were still watching.
Because under the silver lights of the empty field, with his jacket around your shoulders, hands on your waist, and your heart in a state of pure bliss, everything finally made sense.
And for onceâin the middle of all the noiseâyou didnât feel like you had to be perfect. You just felt real.
Just like him.
Just like everlong.
âââ A PERSON WHO YEARNS IS A PERSON WHO EARNS! I have never written something this big for anyone in a WHILE, but put some romcoms, a playlist, and I'm LOCKED IN. Also, happy cortis blr debut to me, and any grammar mistakes or stuff I missed will be fixed later. love you all and thanks for reading đ
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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(đ) synopsis: you couldn't sleep, so you called your bf to sleep over. cw: none, just insomnia. ty for reading !
âmove your assâ, he positioned himself to lie down with you.
âwow, that's the boyfriend anti-insomnia treatment you said?â
âyeah and be thankful I'm not charging you the feeâ
together in bed, he pulled the blanket over you and patted your hair, being the big spoon. a warm, affectionate feeling passed between you two. his ran his hand softly through your hair, murmuring.
you stared at the wall in the dark, thinking about how Seonghyeon had given you all the support you needed all day, staying with you and distracting you from your daydreams. you had played games, worked on college theses, watched a movie while teasing each other. an truly best friend. but there's still this thought.
sighing, you turned to him. faces meeting, him looking at your eyes. âwhat if I can never sleep again?â
he immediately laughed. âthere's no such thingâ
âcould beâ
âno, you'll still be able to sleep, it's just... a bad moment. you're just very overwhelmed, that's why I'm telling you not to worry so much about those stupid homework and projectsâ, he rolled his eyes. then saw how absorbed you were in listening to his words. âokay?â
âkâ
he leaned down and kissed your forehead, sweetly. ânow close your eyes, I'll be here... or count pharrell williams tag line until you sleepâ
SYPNOSIS : in whichâŠthe guys thought it would be funny to play a little prank on you, not knowing you hadnât completely healed from the way they used to treat you before debuting.
you had been excited the entire way back to the dorm. seeing the allday project members again after two whole months felt unreal. it had only been two months but it somehow felt longer. maybe because everything had changed so much since then. schedules had gotten busier. promotions had started. everyone was running around nonstop. there was barely enough time to sleep sometimes. so finally seeing them again felt like finally being able to breathe after holding your breath for weeks.
the second you had spotted them you practically sprinted across the room. they barely even had time to react before you launched yourself at them. everyone immediately started laughing while trying not to fall over from the force of your hug. they all wrapped their arms around you anyway. teasing you for being dramatic while simultaneously refusing to let go of you.
you spent hours talking after that. talking about training days. talking about dorm stories. talking about embarrassing moments. talking about debut preparations. talking about absolutely everything and absolutely nothing at the same time.
every time someone brought up a memory another person would interrupt with an even funnier story and somehow all of you ended up crying from laughter more than once.
by the time you left your cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
the entire ride home was spent replaying everything in your head. you couldnât wait to tell the others. they always listened whenever you got excited about something. even if they acted annoyed. even if they interrupted every five seconds. they always listened.
meanwhile back at the dorm the living room was complete chaos.
everyone was sprawled across the couches. keonho was half laying across martin. martin was loudly complaining about it. juhoon was trying to watch something on his phone while seonghyeon continuously poked his shoulder just to annoy him. james sat nearby looking exhausted as usual.
then keonho suddenly sat up. âhey what if we pranked y/n?â
the room immediately went quiet as everyone slowly looked at him.
âprank her how?â james asked.
keonho shrugged. âi donât know. just prank her. all i ever see her do is glare at us. she needs a little laugh.â
that immediately sparked interest.
martin suggested hiding all your shoes.
juhoon suggested replacing your shampoo with nair.
seonghyeon suggested putting googly eyes on everything you owned.
none of those ideas lasted more than five seconds before getting shut down.
then seonghyeon spoke again. âwhat if we ignore her?â
everyone paused.
âlike completely?â
âyeah.â
the room immediately erupted with agreement but keonho looked unsure.
âi donât think thatâs gonna be funny though.â he muttered.
âitâll be funny when she realizes itâs a prank.â
âor sheâll murder us.â
âthatâs also funny.â
after several minutes of arguing they somehow settled on it.
james already looked guilty. âguys maybe we shouldnât.â
âtoo late.â
âwe already agreed.â
âi donât think sheâll like it.â
âitâs gonna last like ten minutes.â
james sighed. he had a feeling this wasnât going to end well.
almost an hour later the front door finally opened. everyone immediately grabbed their phones. their acting skills were terrible but somehow they managed to pull themselves together.
the second you walked inside you practically bounced through the doorway.
âiâm back!â your voice echoed through the dorm.
you blinked. the silence that followed was unsettling.
âhm. did they go out or somethâŠâ your sentence died immediately when you spotted all of them sitting in the living room.
âoh!â you smiled. âyouâre here! one sec, iâll go change and come tell you guys everything.â without waiting for a response you ran toward your room.
the second your door closed everyone released the breath they had been holding. âfuck.â james muttered.
âwhat?â
âthis already feels mean.â
âitâs been thirty seconds.â
âshe looked really happy.â
âjames lock in.â
âshut up, keonho.â
keonho slowly frowned. âokay maybe today she looked happy.â
for a second nobody said anything, then seonghyeon waved them off. âtoo late now.â
you changed as fast as humanly possible into a random crop top and jamesâs old grey sweatpants that had somehow become yours months ago.
you practically ran back into the living room. the smile hadnât left your face once. you immediately threw yourself onto the couch beside juhoon. âokay so what happened was the second i walked in they saw me and started yelling and then i literally ran over and hugged everyone and then tarzzan almost fell over because apparently i hit him too hard and then we started talking and apparentlyâŠâ
the words poured out of you nonstop. you were smiling, you laughing, you were gesturing wildly with your hands.
normally by now someone wouldâve interrupted you. keonho wouldâve asked twenty questions. martin wouldâve made fun of you. juhoon wouldâve pretended not to care while secretly listening. james wouldâve smiled.
someone wouldâve reacted.
but there was nothing. you slowly stopped talking.
the silence felt strange as you looked around. everyone was staring at their phones. nobody had even looked up once.
your smile weakened. ââŠand thenâŠâ
nothing. you swallowed. âuh.â
still nothing. âare you guys okay?â
silence.
you looked from face to face. nobody acknowledged you.
not even a glance. not even a hum. not even a nod.
your stomach suddenly twisted. âdid you fight or something?â
you stared at them. keonho looked annoyed. martin looked uninterested. juhoon looked focused on his phone. james wasnât even looking in your direction.
your chest suddenly felt tight because you knew this feeling. you knew it far too well.
sometimes entire conversations would happen around you without anyone involving you. youâd always sit there wondering if anyone even noticed you were there.
you hated those memories. you hated them so much and suddenly they all came rushing back at once.
your fingers curled into the fabric of your sweatpants. âokayâŠâ
your voice came out quieter than expected.
still nobody reacted.
you stood up and the knot in your stomach pulled tighter.
maybe they had argued. maybe something happened while you were gone. maybe everyone was in a bad mood.
but that didnât make sense because they had all been perfectly fine this morning.
you looked at them one last time hoping someone would finally say something, anything, but nobody did, so you slowly turned around and walked back toward your room.
the second your bedroom door closed behind you the smile youâd been carrying all day finally disappeared.
and out in the living room every single one of them immediately looked up.
martin immediately started laughing while keonho buried his face into a pillow and kicked his feet against the couch. seonghyeon looked way too proud of himself and juhoon was trying not to smile.
the only person who didnât look amused was james. âguys.â
nobody listened.
âguys seriously.â
still nobody listened. they were too busy talking over each other.
âdid you see her face.â
âshe looked so confused.â
âthis prank is working way better than i thought.â
âsheâs probably sitting in her room trying to figure out what she did.â
james immediately looked up. âexactly. thatâs the problem.â
the room quieted slightly. âwhat?â
âi donât think sheâs laughing.â
âwell obviously not yet.â
âno. i mean i genuinely donât think sheâs taking this as a joke.â
keonho waved him off. âsheâll figure it out eventually.â
james frowned. he wanted to believe that, he really did, but something about the way your smile disappeared earlier hadnât sat right with him.
still, nobody listened.
hours passed and you stayed in your room the entire time.
at first you tried distracting yourself with your phone. then with videos. then with music. then by scrolling through old pictures.
nothing worked.
every time you thought about what happened your stomach twisted again.
you kept replaying every interaction from the past few weeks. every conversation. every joke. every disagreement. every possible mistake. had you said something wrong. had you annoyed someone. had you accidentally upset them.
you couldnât figure it out and that somehow made it worse.
eventually hunger started creeping in. you hadnât eaten since before meeting the allday project members.
you were starving and fried chicken sounded perfect. the thought alone almost made you smile.
key word: almost.
you got up from your bed and headed toward the door.
even if they werenât talking to you. you should still let them know you were ordering.
maybe someone wanted something. maybe things would finally go back to normal.
you opened the door and immediately froze, listening to everyone arguing in the living room, laughing together and talking over eachother.
the exact same sounds that filled the dorm every single day.
your heart skipped. for a second relief rushed through you because they werenât upset or fighting and everything was normal.
you quickly stepped farther into the hallway and the smell of food hit you instantly. your stomach growled.
confused, you followed the noise into the kitchen and the second you stepped inside the room your heart dropped straight into your stomach.
everyone was there. all five of them, sitting around the table, eating takeout with drinks and containers everywhere.
the second they noticed you standing there every voice immediately died. everyone looked away.
your stomach twisted so hard it hurt.
no.
no no no.
please.
not this again.
for a moment nobody said anything as you stared at the table. fried chicken, rice, ramen, snacks.
they had ordered food and somehow nobody thought to tell you.
âyou guys ordered food.â your voice came out small.
the second he spoke your chest tightened, because for a brief moment he sounded exactly like he used to before your debut.
before things got better. before he became one of your closest friends.
back when he barely acknowledged your existence. back when every interaction felt like you were bothering him.
your face immediately lost color. you looked as pale as a ghost.
the room suddenly felt too hot. your hands started shaking. you couldnât stop them.
this wasnât happening. it couldnât be happening.
âdid you get me anything?â
nobody answered immediately. everyone exchanged glances. the hesitation was enough.
it was enough to make your stomach sink. it was enough to make your chest ache.
finally juhoon spoke. âwell, if you wanted something. you shouldâve said so. we canât really read your mind.â
your ears started ringing.
suddenly you werenât standing in the dorm kitchen anymore, you were back in those old practice rooms. back when you spent lunch breaks alone because nobody wanted to ask if you wanted to come.
back when entire food orders happened without anyone mentioning them to you. back when you convinced yourself you didnât care. back when you cried in bathroom stalls where nobody could hear you.
your hands trembled harder and your had gone fully numb. your heartbeat was so loud you could hear it. the knot in your chest kept growing.
you genuinely felt sick.
what had happened? what did you do? why were they acting like this?
you looked around the table and nobody met your eyes, which somehow that hurt more than if they had yelled at you, because at least if they yelled you would know what was wrong.
you swallowed hard. âdid i⊠do something?â your voice barely sounded like yours.
nobody answered.
the silence felt suffocating.
you slowly nodded, as if you understood, even though you didnât. âokay.â your voice cracked slightly. you turned around before anyone could see the tears gathering in your eyes.
back in your room you sat on the edge of your bed for almost ten minutes without moving.
you stared at the floor, your thoughts running so fast you couldnât keep up. you tried convincing yourself there had to be an explanation.
there had to be. these were your members. your family. your brothers. the people who stayed up all night helping you practice. the people who celebrated your debut. the people who held you when you cried. the people who promised they werenât going anywhere.
so why did it feel like they already had?
eventually you grabbed your towel and headed toward the bathroom. you needed to think. you needed to breathe.
you needed something. anything.
the shower lasted almost an hour. you sat under basically boiling water longer than necessary.
letting it pour over your head and letting it burn your body, hoping it would somehow wash away the horrible feeling sitting in your chest.
it didnât.
every time you closed your eyes you heard juhoonâs words again.
âif you wanted something. you shouldâve said so.â
every time you remembered the look on their faces your stomach twisted even more than the last time.
by the time you finally turned the water off your fingers were wrinkled and your eyes hurt.
you changed into your pajamas slowly, not really wanting to leave the bathroom, because eventually youâd have to see them again. eventually youâd have to figure out what was happening.
but when you stepped into the hallway everything was dark all the lights were off.
the dorm was silent which meant everyone had already gone to bed.
for a second that somehow hurt even more.
you quietly made your way toward your room, carefully opening the door.
the room was dark except for the faint glow coming through the curtains from the moon.
james and juhoon were already asleep, their breathing soft and steady, like nothing had happened today.
you stood there for a few moments, just staring at literally nothing, because a part of you kept expecting one of them to wake up and explain everything.
to tell you this was all some misunderstanding. to tell you everything was okay.
neither of them moved.
with a heavy chest, you quietly climbed into bed and pulled the blanket over yourself.
the room felt colder than usual, and despite being exhausted, despite your eyes burning, despite how badly your body wanted sleep.
you spent most of the night staring at the ceiling wondering what you had done wrong.
every time you started drifting off your brain immediately dragged you back to the same thoughts. the same questions. the same horrible feeling sitting in your chest. when your alarm finally went off the next morning you felt worse than when you had gone to bed. your eyes burned. your head hurt. and your chest still felt painfully heavy.
for a few minutes you just laid there staring at the ceiling, listening.
everyone was already awake. you could hear them talking in the living room.
they were all laughing, arguing over something stupid.
completely normal, like yesterday never happened.
you swallowed hard. part of you wanted to stay in bed. part of you wanted to hide in your room forever.
but you couldnât. eventually you forced yourself up and headed toward the bathroom.
you brushed your teeth mechanically. washed your face. stared at yourself in the mirror for longer than necessary.
you looked awful. your eyes were swollen from crying, your face looked pale.
when you finally stepped out of the bathroom your feet felt strangely heavy. the closer you got to the living room the louder their voices became.
everyone was scattered around like always. keonho was stretched across the couch, martin was sitting on the floor, seonghyeon was leaning against an armrest, juhoon was scrolling on his phone and james was sitting near the edge of the couch.
nobody noticed you at first. you just stood there, watching them.
your throat tightened and your vision started blurring. before you even realized it tears were already sliding down your face.
one after another.
you quickly wiped at them but it didnât help. a quiet sniffle escaped you, and immediately every conversation stopped.
everyone looked over. the second they saw your face their expressions changed completely.
you stood there crying, looking absolutely destroyed, and suddenly nobody looked very proud of the prank anymore.
another sob escaped you, then another.
and suddenly the words came pouring out.
âiâm sorry.â
the room stayed silent.
âiâm sorry if i did something wrong. i know i can be annoying sometimes and i know i talk too much and maybe i did something without realizing it but can somebody please just tell me what i did?â
your voice cracked so badly you barely recognized it.
nobody moved. nobody spoke.
which only made everything worse.
tears kept pouring down your face. âplease just talk to me. i donât understand whatâs happening. if youâre mad at me then just tell me. please. i can fix it if you tell me. i swear i can fix it.â
you sucked in a shaky breath. your chest hurt. everything hurt. âi donât care if youâre angry at me. i donât care if i messed up. just please stop ignoring me. please. i canât do this again.â
everyone looked horrified. you were crying so hard you could barely breathe.
âyou donât understand. i spent all day trying to figure out what i did. i kept replaying everything over and over and over again and i couldnât think of anything. i couldnât sleep. i couldnât eat. please tell me so i can fix it.â your knees suddenly gave out beneath you.
before you could hit the floor james was already moving. he practically launched himself off the couch as he wrapped his arms around you immediately, holding you up before you collapsed completely.
the second he touched you a broken sob tore from your throat.
because finally, someone was acknowledging you.
you buried your face into his chest like a child, which you literally were, crying so hard your entire body shook.
james looked sick. his arms tightened around you. ây/n.â
it was the first time any of them had spoken to you properly in almost twenty four hours.
you completely broke. james slowly lowered himself to the floor with you still clinging to him.
he held you tightly, one hand rubbing your back.
the other holding your head against his chest. he kept pressing small kisses against your hair, your forehead, the top of your head. anything he could reach.
âiâm sorry.â his voice sounded horrible. âiâm so sorry.â
you couldnât stop crying. your lungs felt like they were on fire.
âwhat did i do?â you whispered between sobs. âplease tell me what i did.â
the room fell silent again. nobody wanted to be the one to say it.
finally keonho forced himself to speak. âit was a prank.â
your crying immediately slowed. for a second you thought you heard him wrong.
ââŠhuh?â
nobody answered immediately. your heartbeat pounded in your ears.
keonho looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole. âweâre really sorry y/n. we thought it would be funny. we werenât trying to hurt you. we just thought itâd be one of those dumb pranks and we didnât realize youâd take it likeâŠâ
he couldnât even finish the sentence because suddenly you were staring at all of them completely frozen.
then you shoved yourself away from james like being near him physically disgusted you. And to be fair, at that moment he did disgust you.
you shoved him hard enough that he nearly lost his balance.
everyone flinched.
you slowly stood up, your legs felt weak and vision was blurry from the tears.
somehow you looked angrier than any of them had ever seen you. âwhat the fuck is actually wrong with you guys?â
nobody answered.
âseriously. what the fuck is wrong with you?â
james stood up slowly. ây/n.â
âdonât.â your voice shook. âjust shut up.â
the room immediately fell silent again as you stared at all of them.
âyou know exactly what happened when i first moved in.â your voice cracked. âevery single one of you knows.â
guilt immediately flooded every face in the room.
âyou know how miserable i was.â you pointed at them with a shaky hand. âyou know how hard that was for me.â tears kept falling down your face.
âhalf of you wouldnât even acknowledge me when i spoke. iâd walk into a room and nobody would look up. nobody would answer me. nobody would include me in anything. i spent months wondering what was wrong with me.â
nobody could look you in the eye anymore. âyou made me feel like i wasnât wanted here.â
silence.
âand after all that, after all the conversations weâve had, after all the times iâve told you how badly that affected me.â
your voice broke completely.
âyou thought this would be funny?â
nobody spoke. nobody defended themselves, because there wasnât anything they could say.
âdo you know how yesterday felt?â
you looked directly at keonho, then juhoon, then seonghyeon. you didnât even bother looking at james. for some reason, you were most upset with him.
âi genuinely thought we were back there again.â tears streamed down your face. âwhen you ordered food without me i thought that was it. i thought you all finally got sick of me and nobody wanted me around anymore.â
james looked like he was about to cry too. martin had his head lowered. juhoon looked absolutely miserable. seonghyeon couldnât even look in your direction. keonho looked the guiltiest of all of them. you could tell immediately he was the one who had the idea to prank you.
âi spent the entire night wondering what i did wrong, and i couldnât think of a single thing.â your breathing shook.
you wiped at your face angrily. âhave you guys even changed?â
âseriously.â your voice came out quieter this time, more hurt than angry. âhave you?â
still nothing.
you shook your head, disappointed, hurt and angry.
you looked at the people who had become your family, and somehow right now they felt like strangers.
âjesus, how can i be younger than all of you but still more mature?â
james took a small step forward. ây/n please.â
you immediately stepped back, and the look on jamesâs face shattered.
you shook your head, unable to even look at them anymore and then without another word you turned around, walked to the front door, and left.
the apartment door slammed shut behind you. for several seconds nobody moved, or spoke.
because the second that door closed every single one of them finally realized that what they thought would be a harmless joke had just reopened wounds they should have never touched in the first place.