She sat me at the bar, she lit a cigarette, and we had drinks. While we were there talking, a guy sat next to her. She gave him a big hug and kiss. I was confused but I realized this was her ex that she had a swinging relationship with and I also found out, while they were together, he was a bull to several couples. I also found out later, he was her bull in her first marriage. Anyways, we all sat there at the bar together and she was really relaxed and we have had a lot of drinks by then. She was smoking a cigarette as she turned to me and ask if I ever heard what a cuckold was. I told her that I’ve never heard of it. She chuckled as she told me she loved me very much but she would not be satisfied in a marriage with me unless I agreed to be her cuckold husband. I asked what that meant and she told me all about it.

We sat at that bar in that club for about 3 hours as she smoked and drank enlightening me about what a cuckold husband was. She also hit me up with the fact I had a very small dick and she’s never cum from sex with me. She then formally told me about her past, telling me that she invited her ex bull there for a reason and that reason was that she was getting a room with him so I could see her get fucked good for the first time. She asked if I was all in, or if I was going to run away, but either way her bull was fucking her. I said I was willing to go along with it. She finished her beer, put out her cigarette, grabbed my hand and the 3 of us went into the room.

She sat me down in the corner telling me to enjoy. That night I watched her get fucked so good and I saw her have multiple orgasms for the first time. She showed me that night what being a cuckold was. When she was done fucking and her bull dumped 3 loads inside her, she laid back in full exhaustion and lit a cigarette. She then told me to jack off while I watched the cum from a real man pour out of her pussy. So I did. I jacked off and came in my hand in about 10 seconds.

We got married shortly after that and we’ve now been married for almost 20 years.

I unterstand your predicament and while I would love to write a super encouraging message about “How to kinkify a vanilla person in 10 easy steps”, I will admit I have tried and failed at that in the past myself.

The conclusion is that some people are just not kink compatible and we can’t change them.

Maybe easing her into the concept by finding some very soft GFD porn/erotica might help, but there’s always a risk that she will (rightly) interpret it as “I seem to be unable to give you what you secretly covet” and that causing bigger issues. (I guess the problem with trying to turn a vanilla into a dominant is more difficult than into a sub and confidence plays a very central role here)

Chastity.

This is a must for us. While we don’t play 24/7, I enjoy making him wear a chastity device frequently when we’re apart. I work nights, so if I’m at work, chances are he’s locked into “The Vice”. This is a locking chastity cage, similar to others, only this one has an anti-pullout mechanism that makes it very difficult to remove without the key. Basically “The Vice”  is a plastic sheath for his dick that attaches to a ring around the base of his balls. It prevents erections and masturbation very well for the price. I don’t want my man’s dick mangled by a piercing for this game we play, and some of the other devices out there require that to be secure. The Vice keeps it secure and out of his (or anyone else’s) hands. Its so empowering to be able to restrict access to his own dick. I have the power to grant him erections and orgasms, he can’t have them without me or my approval. The length of time he wears the device really changes, but is up to me. I usually don’t keep him in it for more than a couple days, but we’ve had times that I left him in there for over 3 weeks. He really wasn’t happy about the time I had to leave town for 4 days and took the key with me, AFTER he’d been locked up for a week already.

There are a log of fun chastity games you can find online. Some fun chastity games we play:

Try to cum. I enjoy leaving the device on him, and tell him to try to have an orgasm with it on (no vibrator allowed!). Its fucking entertaining to see him hump his hand, finger his asshole, shake the cage around, pinch his own nipples, etc. I like to offer some cheering words of encouragement here for him. Usually I have him do this on the floor in the middle of the living room while I sit on the couch and watch. He hasn’t been able to cum yet, but maybe one day he’ll get there. (Another great video opportunity)

Coin flip. If he’s been locked up for several days, I’ll strap him to the bed or handcuff him to remove the device.

Then I’ll start stroking his dick until he’s very close to orgasm, right on the edge. Then I flip a coin, heads I finish him off. Tails, I immediately stop, put an ice pack on his dick and lock him back up once he’s soft again. Better luck next time honey.

Roll of the dice. If he rolls a six, he gets to cum. If not, that’s the number of days he stays locked up until he gets another chance. This went on for over 3 weeks for us at one point. He was really on edge lol.

Chastity can also play into the control aspect as well. Sometimes when we play I don’t take the cage off. For example, he doesn’t need an erection to get fucked in his ass or to use my dildo and vibrator on my pussy, so why take it off? If he starts giving me a bad attitude, I’ll simply add another day or two to his lockup time. I use this as punishment for disobedience when playing, so it gives me more control.

One of the big things you’ll notice if you start incorporating chastity into your sex life, is that he will become more and more agreeable and obedient as time goes on, if you restrict his orgasms. If we’re playing with chastity more seriously, I like to make him wait 1 to 2 weeks between orgasms. He has a high sex drive, so when I do this, he gets so horny he’ll do anything to get out of his chastity cage. Its really entertaining to see what I can get him to do. Once, after 13 days locked into the Vice, I insisted he detail my car if he wanted out of the device. He whined and complained, so I told him that he just earned himself another 3 days in the device, and I still expected the car detailed.

The MOST IMPORTANT thing when incorporating chastity into your sex life is this. SAY NO. Don’t be swayed by his begging, whining, or complaining. Firstly lets get this out of the way, no one NEEDS to have an orgasm. He wants to cum, he doesn’t need to. So lets get that little idea out of the way immediately. We have a rule, when he’s locked up, he gets to politely ask for an orgasm once per day. If I feel like it, I’ll have him earnestly beg me. This is great for extracting promises from him. But if I say no, he needs to shut the fuck up about it immediately. Occasionally I’ll say yes, but most of the time I’ll say no as I’ve already decided on how long he’s going to be locked up. Do not feel bad about this. In fact, relish your power here.

I get off on having him go down on me right after I tell him “No, you’re staying locked up.” While we both agreed to incorporate chastity devices into our sex life, the lockup duration is my decision alone. Use the device to modify his behavior to your liking. If you want something from him, sexual or not, give him the order. If he doesn’t comply, add time in the device. The power is intoxicating.

Teasing. Sometimes he wears The Vice around the house, sometimes not. But regardless I like to wear skimpy clothing, rub up against him, feel and squeeze his balls, ass cheeks, and body just to see him get a boner (or try to, hehe). I’ll take this a lot further sometimes, stroking his dick until he starts leaking precum, getting him close to orgasm, only to stop and tell him to calm down. Sometimes I even let him fuck me until I have an orgasm or two, then tell him to stop. This is delightfully frustrating for him. Other times I’ll leave him in the chastity cage and masturbate right in front of him. One of my favorite teases is to use his mouth to make me cum and send him away completely denied. Sometimes I tell him I’m going to make him cum, only to stop at the last second and tell him I changed my mind.