I Just Want To Be A Good Boy

What’s that? You want to cum again? Why of course I’ll let you cum again sweetheart. Here let me press the vibe against you a little harder and there we go.

Mmmm nothing better than your muffled screams baby as you cum and cum and cum. I love how you try to close your legs or squirm away but you can’t go anywhere. Oh baby you’re too cute for words.

Now speak up or I’ll leave the vibrator pressed against you even though you’re all sensitise, because you are. What’s that? I can’t understand what you’re saying darling. Is it “please mistress make me cum as many times as you want”?

Fellas, listen.

You don’t have to do anything sexual that you’re not interested in. Moreover, you don’t have to explain why. “No” is a complete sentence.

Not interested in getting pegged? You don’t have to. Monogamous and not into the idea of another partner? Okay. Not sure about period sex? Cool.

Azure: What’s your biggest turn-on?

Baby Blue: Have you ever had sex with someone of the same gender?

Carolina: Have you ever had sex with someone of a different gender?

Cerulean: What’s your biggest turn-off?

Cyan: What’s your sexual orientation?

Cobalt: Rough or soft?

Cornflower: Are you a virgin?

Denim: Are you naturally submissive or dominant?

Electric: Do you prefer lingerie to regular underwear?

Indigo: Do you like phone sex?

Lapis: What’s your best fantasy?

Midnight: Are you into role-play?

Oxford: Have you ever had sex with more than one person?

Periwinkle: Do you use toys often?

Persian: Would you do public sex at all?

Powder Blue: Vanilla sex or spiced up?

Prussian: Confess a kink to me?

Royal: What’s your favourite position?

Sapphire: When was the last time you had sex?

Sky: Do you read smut/watch porn?

Teal: Where was the strangest place you ever had sex?

Tiffany: Would you/do you do sex work?

Turquoise: Have you ever taken part in group sex?

True: Do you remember your first time?

Ultramarine: Do you do/enjoy oral?

My partner and I just opened our relationship and she’s been with a few people since. At first our sex life with each other was pretty exciting but things have seemed to fizzle out recently. I’m naturally anxious that she doesn’t find me so attractive anymore now that she’s been with others but I also know that probably isn’t a valid feeling. Any advice on navigating these feelings? It’s not the lack of sex that’s getting to me so much as the idea that I might not be attractive to her anymore.

You’ve done a good job identifying that these feelings are coming from your anxious tendencies, not empirical observations. Keep working on them from that perspective. Remind yourself that you are not psychic, and assumptions about the inner state of your partner’s sexual attraction may not be accurate. 

Identify what your partner does, or can do, to make you feel reassured that she is still attracted to you. Let her know that you might need some extra security around this issue and be clear about what she can do to help you feel better. 

Read up about NRE in polyamorous relationships - this is a pretty common phenomenon. An established partnership’s sex and romantic life often ‘fizzles’ into a dip when a new partner enters the picture. This is common, but can still be painful and disruptive. Being able to name and identify it often helps, though. 

Sometimes, it takes a bit more intentionality and focus to re-ignite what has 'fizzled out’ during NRE. Consider planning some date time for just the two of you or trying something new and sexy together (shop for new sex toys together, look into local sexy events, book a sexy photoshoot together, read erotica or watch porn together, take mojo upgrade together, etc.)

Learning about polyamory, hell, any nonmonogamy, is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.

It challenges me to be a better me. It deepens my respect for others and myself. It bolsters my appreciation for human connections of all kinds: monogamous or not, romantic or not.

Yeah, no, I’m cross-tagging because the lack of attention this is getting overall is pissing me off.

Ajit Pai killed Net Neutrality. You’ll start seeing the effects you were warned about on April 23rd. Oh, and he apparently got an award for Courage from the NRA gun nuts, too.

You can still help by calling your senators and representatives. We just need ONE MORE PERSON on our side to get the senate portion of Congress to overrule the FCC’s decision to kill net neutrality. The battle for the net won’t end there, but it’s a start. Go to battleforthenet to find out who your reps are and where they stand, and CONTACT THEM.

Twenty-three states are also suing the FCC for this. I haven’t looked into it yet, but I assume big businesses like Google and Amazon are as well. Nevertheless, we can’t rely on lengthy lawsuits alone. The changes to your internet start in less than two months. We don’t have a whole lot of time.