the scene: Wrigley Field, Chicago.

the players: Me, a novelist and unpaid intern for a coffee company that gives all its profit to charity.

A Nice teacher named I think Claire

An older gentleman with hate in his heart

the precise circumstance: It's the eighth inning. The Chicago Cubs are losing 17-1. For those of you who don't watch baseball, a 17-1 game is not competitive. The game is over. They only continue playing because major league baseball has not yet adopted a Mercy Rule.

the event: The nice teacher named I think Claire stops me as I am returning to my seat from having visited the restroom. She says that she is a big fan of mine, and that she really loves my books, and asks if she can have a picture. I say of course. It is a genuine delight to meet Claire at this noncompetitive baseball game mostly notable for the pounding heat of Chicago summer.

And then the older gentleman with hate in his heart leaps up and shouts, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE IN MY SIGHT LINE."

Apparently, Claire and I are blocking his view of one pitch of this blowout baseball game. I apologize to the man and explain that we're just taking a quick picture, and then he says something that I can't repeat on tumblr*, and then we take the picture and the encounter ends.

DO NOT BE LIKE THIS OLDER MAN WITH HATE IN HIS HEART. ALLOW PEOPLE TO TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS WITH UNPAID INTERNS DURING NONCOMPETITIVE MOMENTS IN NONCOMPETITIVE SPORTING EVENTS.

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

I should've cut you out! I fuckin' love you!

He said the food overall was truly exceptional. And creative. He said the talent here is undeniable. That there's a scallop dish he hasn't been able to stop thinking about and the hospitality was beautiful. He said the room felt alive without being precious or try-hard.

Queen Victoria of Sweden’s Wedding Dress

c. 1906

I made both you've got a friend in me, and I knew it I knew you since I figured once I posted one people would want the other :)