the alleGAYtions are ongoing

how many people do you think use speech to text to write fanfiction like how many people in this world are sitting alone in their living room vividly reciting the nastiest sex scenes with perfect diction

what if your house was FLOODED and your minecraft pj pants BROKE and you got COPYRITE STRIKE from YOURSELF and your BOYFRIEND wasn’t a LAWYER and you were GAY

i just know there was a weird little girl in the middle ages out there stealing snake's eggs and putting them in her family's chicken coop in the hope of hatching a basilisk

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

Dead wife but it's a flashback to an amazing sandwich you had 3 years ago

guys I'm not a conspiracy theorist or anything but i just have a hunch that phan is real

yes!!

well, almost…

mm. well. maybe???

Is it though? Is it really?

you are all wrong

it's actually a little more complicated than that...

no. phan is not real. and all you copycats should shut up.