'Sup

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE. 

When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.

I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

“What are you struggling with?” he asked.

I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”

Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”

I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.

I wanted to have something more substantial.

Something more profound.

But I didn’t.

So I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”

I felt like an idiot even saying it.

What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?

But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:

“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.

“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”

It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.

That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.

I felt like I had conquered a dragon.

The next day, I took a shower lying down.

A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the fuck they fit.

There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.

Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

THERE ARE NO RULES.

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!

Dennis leaving without a word. Jack finds him and they talk.

Robby doesn’t say anything when Dennis moves to night shift.

Robby doesn’t say a word when Dennis ignores his call for a hookup on a day he knows Dennis has off

Robby *cant* ignore the gossipy talk of Whitaker having a baby bump

Robby changing the schedule to get Dennis back to days so he *has* to see him.

Robby seeing Dennis after months looking beautiful with that protruding belly (not just a fucking bump)

Dennis ignoring and avoiding Robby when he gets to day shift.

Dennis smiling and showing off to all of day shift who all rub his belly and ask when he’s due, ask who the lucky father is, ask if he knows the gender

Robby who knows that’s his baby.

Robby who feels a possessive grasp on Dennis and the baby.

Robby trying to listen in to hear who Whitaker says the father is.

Dennis who only chuckles and tells everyone “you know who.” Fondly.

Robby thinking Dennis has been telling people they were together and having a baby

Robby trying to get a second alone with Dennis all day.

Dennis who successfully avoided Robby all day until lunch time when Dana told him to take a seat claiming he really needed one.

Dennis who sat at the nurses hub working on a chart with his hand over his growing tummy.

Robby going in for the kill

Jack showing up at the same time.

Robby confused as to why Jack was here so early. “Couldn’t sleep?” He asked his longtime friend.

Jack chuckling and shaking his head as he gave Robby a quick side hug cause his other hand was holding a bag. “No, promised I’d bring lunch.”

Robby confused by what he meant and about to ask more when he saw it.

Jack walking right over to Dennis *in front of everyone* and kissing him gently, hand sliding across that big belly as he placed the bag on the counter. “Mm… why don’t you go to the break room? Don’t wanna get crumbs all over the hub. I’ll sit with you.” He smiled.

Dennis who was more than happy to see his very public boyfriend who wasn’t afraid to show affection or hide their relationship.

Robby who was seeing red.

Robby who felt an almost violent rage.

Robby being forced to see his coworkers whistle and say things like “get it Whitaker!”

Robby watching Jack lead Dennis to the break room acting all domestic.

Dennis who despite it all, didn’t even look his way the whole time. He could’ve been petty but he knew the absence of attention was what really got to Robby. Not having that control over the situation.