gojo satoru was nothing short of perfection.

new in his role as a well-known superhero, he made many mistakes, some career-ending but even though he was super!, alas he was just a man.

 a man who could hide behind his crooked, boyish smile and a light blush on his cheeks during a press conference and win the favor of the public again.

but behind the scenes, all you see is: a hero who doesn’t quite know how to exist in a world that expects perfection everyday.

well…visually he could he was divine perfection.

every girls wet dream and every man’s vision board for physique.

otherwise…well that’s debatable.

“and at 3pm you have a—“

“sir?..are you listening?,” you sighed as you watched the man do pushups next to his desk he was just sitting on.

“awww c’mon! you know i told you to call me satoru!”

“it’s to be professional, sir.”

“mmm i am a professional superhero! it’s time to be carefree everywhere else”, he grinned, “you’re so strict! my cute little assistant!”

“well someone has to be.,” you muttered back looking down at your notes again.

“hmmm, what was that?”

“nothing, sir—we should go over your schedule it’s of the upmost importance,” you stressed, watching him finally go back behind his desk.

he hummed watching where you stood, arms falling in defeat at your sides and you big eyes staring at him past your black frame glasses.

“you’re right. no—no you’re right,” he conceded gesturing to his desk, “take a seat and i’ll do my best to listen.”

you beamed almost jumping out your skin as you approached one of the chairs before he tuts as you and motions at his desk.

again?

you sit on his desk, legs crossed on top of one another as you looked back down at your clipboard and past it to see a tuft of white hair on the floor.

and up you went, seeing the ground get inches further from you as satoru did reps…with his desk…with you on it.

“alright, hit me!”

oh, you wished you could.

you started reciting the list of his schedule, his grunts passing in your ears as he pulled the desk back down to where it barely rest on the floor and pushing allllll the way back up.

and when you finally finished, he plopped the desk unceremoniously back on the ground, the side making a resounding crack as it landed its final blow.

“are you hurt?”

“just peachy, sir.”

“satoruuuuuu!”

you sighed, dusting off your skirt, “i’ll have maintenance bring the replacement up.”

this is how you days went.

cleaning up, chasing and trying to maintain order to the man that was gojo satoru.

and honestly you were getting paid enough, to get deal with this but your sanity was always at its tipping point.

“don’t do this, sir.”

“that’s offensive, sir.”

“you’re getting sued again, sir.”

it was truly an uphill battle to keep the man in check but now that he had an established agency to help with his superhero duties it was even worse since his shortcomings were now your shortcomings.

“i did not know he was going to do that.”

you were clutching your pearls in the room full of executives, who stared back at you like a piece of meat ready to go on the chopping block.

“you are with him everyday. and you didn’t keep notice to see him fly through a laundromat butt naked.”

“he caused severe damage.”

“i didn’t! i know something dropped on his suit so he went to get cleaner! i wasn’t aware he meant taking off the suit,” you sighed clutching your sleeves tighter in your hands, “i was working on the appeal to the criminal suit that the court filed yesterday.”

“as his assistant—“

“as my assistant, she helps me. she’s not my keeper,” the man of the hours voice called through as he slammed the door open, and pulled you out the room, back down the hall to the elevator.

“bunch of fuckin pricks”, he muttered turning slightly so he could see your face, his hand coming up to brush the tears that broke free from your armor.

“why don’t you call me when they do this stuff?”

“it’s not your responsibility, sir,” you sniffled pushing up your glasses quickly to avoid having him see you break any further, “it is my fault when things don’t go as planned and—“

“it was better when it was just us, huh?”, he pouted, hand still brushing your cheek as he pressed for the elevator.

the doors opened and he pulled you inside and pressed the door where your offices were.

“go home,” he grinned at you, “i’ll pay you for the whole day don’t worry about this.”

“i got it under control.”

you watched in shock as his head pulled back through the elevator doors just as they shut, probably to address the room full of executives again.

hopefully he doesn’t mess anything up too bad…but hope is such a fickle thing.

“you did what?,” you screeched looking in each of the rooms that now laid bare except for the maybe five employees satoru spared.

“yup”, he smiled popping the p as he spun around, “gutted the whole thing!,” he laughed watching you grab your head in horror,” just like how it used to be! just me and you.”

“satoru.”

woah, you were mad.

“i’ve only been working for you for 3 years. in that time the best decision you made was getting the investors to establish this company,” you snapped eyes fully on him over the top of your glasses, “now they’re gone.”

“exactly!”

“so is our funding satoru.”

silence passed as you watched the realization fall on his face, his mouth taking a pretty O shape as he nodded slowly in understanding, “oh right…i don’t think about that.”

“of course. you didn’t.”

okay. okay? okay!

as disastrous as this looked, you still have a good convoy of workers who somehow were still holding the entire operation together by sheer willpower:

01. nanami :: sales — the only man alive capable of selling ice to someone in a snowstorm. he could advertise anything to anyone.

02. sukuna :: spokesperson — the face of the company. unfortunately. a handsome face, attractive enough to distract the public from the lawsuits, rude enough to create three more by the end of the interview.

03. kirara :: costume design — the sole reason satoru ever looks presentable.

04. you :: assistant / manager — more accurately the glorified babysitter, the crisis negotiator…let’s hope you can get through one good day on the job without feeling like strangling your boss.

05. hakari :: personal trainer — tasked with keeping gojo attractive (and buff) enough for the public to forgive his catastrophically stupid behavior. honestly the easiest job ever.

06. choso :: advertising / creative dpmnt — the genius behind every breathtaking billboard, cinematic teaser, and carefully curated campaign convincing the world this train wreck is still worth supporting.

07. gojo :: superman — allegedly humanity’s greatest hero. praying he doesn’t kill us all.

somehow… against every law of nature, against every blaring alarm bell, this could still work.

but alas satoru gojo isn’t satoru gojo if he doesn’t fuck something up.

like his many other powers, he had an innate superpower for turning “manageable disaster” into “national emergency.”

BREAKING NEWS

the obnoxiously cheesy theme music exploded through the conference room speakers, followed by the bright bold red headline spinning around the bottom of the screen like a taunt.

like it was mocking you, personally.

“good afternoon, everyone! i’m suguru geto, and welcome back to your afternoon spill.” the man grinned directly into the camera, “today’s top! story: our beloved superman has been caught. again.”

he paused dramatically, tapping down his note cards on the desk as he geared up to speak again.

“doing what, you ask?” his smile widened, “having sex.”

“allegedly,” his co-host cut in quickly.

“right— right, allegedly,” suguru corrected, already laughing.

“however! we do have never-before-seen footage of what appears to be superman suspended several hundred feet above the empire state building with his entire ass out while engaging in what legal experts are begging us to call slight public indecency.”

the screen immediately blurred into shaky paparazzi footage.

someone in the room whispered, “oh my god.”

“and if that wasn’t enough,” suguru continued cheerfully, “last tuesday he was allegedly seen in a male strip club performing what witnesses described as— and i quote— a ‘full helicopter rotation’ with his genitalia to the song pony by ginuwine.”

“in other news,” the co-host sighed in visible defeat, “are penis piercings making a comeback? coming to you live after the break—”

the television clicked off, plunging the conference room into a suffocating silence.

nanami exhaled slowly through his nose before tossing the remote onto the table with the kind of exhaustion unseen for usual humans…but accurate for anyone forced to work with satoru gojo.

everyone’s eyes locked onto satoru, who in the middle of the table, scrunched his eyebrows in deep concentration.

“do you have anything to say for yourself?”

satoru lifted his head immediately, nodding. “yes. absolutely,” he sighed like he made his mind up about something, “dick piercings are definitely in right now. i don’t even know why that’s being debated—”

a collective groan ripped through the room.

your palms slammed against the table before you could stop yourself.

“satoru,” you snapped, “you are fucking superman. you cannot keep waving your dick around the city like it’s a campaign poster.”

“i wasn’t waving it around,” he argued instantly, using air quotes before dropping his hands, offended. “it was a circle. a very controlled movement, actually. and they loved it.”

“please stop talking,” nanami muttered into his hands.

“i mean…” sukuna leaned back in his chair with a shrug. “he’s right about the piercings.”

you stared at him in disbelief, of all days the man could be amicable it had to be today?

“thank you,” satoru pointed dramatically. “see? sukuna gets it.”

“weren’t you literally considering that jacob’s ladder piercing i sent you last week?”

“yeah, but i’d need custom sizing,” sukuna replied seriously. “my dick’s longer than th—”

“i swear to god—,” you cut yourself off with a sigh before you gritted your teeth to address him again, “you were supposed to be doing reconnaissance…we don’t need any more bad press.”

“i don’t think people knowing i have a big dick is bad press.”

“i don’t care.”

“the approval ratings actually went up three percent,” hakari mumbled while checking his phone.

“hakari.”

“sorry.”

another heavy silence settled over the room.

then nanami stood abruptly, gathering his folders. “meeting adjourned before i develop a stress-induced aneurysm.”

one by one, everyone filtered out, hakari talking about a new protein shake, kirara suggesting to add alcohol to it, and sukuna just patted satoru on the shoulder like he’d just survived a difficult interview instead of causing an international embarrassment.

eventually, the room emptied…leaving you and a still huffing satoru.

“i get it!—i guess—it could be bad but—”

“after the next press interview,” you cut him off quietly, “i’m putting in my two weeks.”

the man’s smile dropped as he stiffened in his chair, “what?”

“i’m serious, satoru.” your voice was exhausted more than angry now. “i can’t keep cleaning up after you. every week it’s something worse. and honestly im getting dragged just as much if not worse than you.”

“im done. im tired.”

“woah— wait.” he sat up immediately, panic flashing across his face for the first time all day. “you’re quitting?”

his eyes searched your face for anything other the disappointed resignation about your decision and the seriousness that made your all that tired face clear as day to him.

“no, no, no, c’mon.” he stood quickly enough for the chair to screech against the floor. “don’t do that.”

“satoru—”

“i can do better.” the words came out rushed now, desperate. “seriously. i can. i’ll stop screwing around during missions, i’ll go to the interviews, i’ll listen to nanami— hell, i’ll even let kirara pick all my clothes without complaining.”

despite yourself, your serious expression twitched, just for split second quick enough the average human would’ve missed it.

but satoru wasn’t average, he noticed immediately and stepped closer.

“see? that almost made you smile.”

“this isn’t funny.”

“i know.” quieter this time. honest. “i know i make everything harder for you.”

“but i cant do this without you…i can't live without you.”

maybe it was your mind or maybe because satoru actually cared enough that he didn’t want to see you leave…

because after he brushed his hand against your cheek, and you parted away from him that fateful day in the conference room…he was on his best behavior.

well… as close to “best behavior” as satoru gojo could physically manage.

the scandals didn’t stop entirely, but they softened into something strangely endearing instead of catastrophic.

instead of drunken strip club incidents, headlines became:

SUPERMAN STOPS TRAIN DERAILMENT — THEN BUYS EVERY PASSENGER DINNER

GOJO SPENDS THREE HOURS HELPING LOST CHILD FIND HER CAT

SUPERMAN CAUGHT CARRYING ELDERLY WOMAN’S GROCERIES SIXTEEN BLOCKS

there was even an unfortunately viral video of him rescuing a kitten from a tree only to get stuck in the branches himself afterward.

it was dumb…it was cute but perfectly satoru. and it showed since the public loved it.

the changes came gradually, his apporval ratings came up, even his actual likability and he even started problem solving at meetings?!?! like an actual boss.

and worst of all… he kept looking at you after every interview like a dog waiting for praise.

“did you see that one?” he’d ask, grinning boyishly while shoving his phone toward your face. “people called me ‘surprisingly charming.’”

you’d barely glance up from your clipboard.“congratulations, sir", was all you would monotously reply back flashing him a quick tight lipped smile, turning to continue whatever it was he interupted again.

but that wasn't all, he stopped flirting with the reporters (mostly) at the interviews, eyes always catching yours like he needed to be sure you were focused , needed to be sure you were in his orbit and that your attention was on him.

and now, sitting beneath the blinding lights of another packed press conference, satoru looked almost painfully perfect.

his suit was tailored flawlessly against his broad frame, snowy hair swept neatly back from his face as cameras flashed endlessly around him. every smile he gave while answering the originally tense questions, seemed managed to make the public swoon.

unfortunately, you knew him too well now for any of it to work on you.

standing off to the side near the back wall, tablet tucked against your chest, your feet shuffling from the uncomfortable pinch in your heels, you looked exhausted…defeated.

and as much as satoru was a sweetheart, he was unknowingly manipulative. not in a bad way entirely, but once he saw he needed to change to fix something, whether if its public perception, you wanting to stay as his assistant, he would change. but ultimately he was human and would fall back into his ways.

so how long would this one last for?

but no matter how many questions the reporters asked, satoru’s attention kept drifting back toward you.

“superman!” one journalist called eagerly. “what can you tell us about the recent… uh… indecency allegations involving that model?”

a few reporters laughed nervously, eyes stuck on the man, ready to write any change in his reaction. even with the hundreds of flashing lights and large video cameras pinned on him.

satoru leaned back lazily in his chair.

“first of all,” he began smoothly, “i’d like to say the media has been incredibly judgmental toward people exploring creative forms of intimacy.”

the room erupted into laughter.

“creative intimacy?” another reporter repeated.

“what can i say?” satoru shrugged dramatically. “we were being kinky.”

another reporter stood quickly. “was anyone jealous about the situation?”

satoru snorted. “no.”

“really?” someone shouted from the back. “a girlfriend? not even your assistants? nobody got possessive?”

more laughs filled the room, before they slowly trickled off from seeing satoru's face finally drop its smile for the first time in the past 90 minutes he sat up there.

the cameras flashed violently, capturing every slight movement of his jaw, nanami murmuring next to you in confusion at his drastic change.

slowly, satoru's gaze slid across the crowded room until it landed directly on you.

then he leaned forward slightly, lowering himself closer to the microphone like he wanted to make absolutely sure every single person in the room heard him clearly.

“i would hope not,” he said lightly, his gleaming eyes shining in mischief as they refused left yours, “she knows where she stands.”

"i know where i stand?", you chuckled rubbing a finger against the spot between your brows as you brought the glass of wine back up to your lips, "and where is that?"

satoru was silent, his haor ruffled as he stared at you, legs crossed on the adjoining couch as he manspreaded, arms strecthed out against the back. "right here, with me."

"ah, like i am now? just the helpful assistant, through and through," you sighed resting the glass on the table in front of you as your uncrossed your legs.

the man didn't say anything, his tongue lulled against the side of his mouth head falling back as a laugh ripped through his throat before he looked back at you, "what is it going to take for you to believe me?"

"to believe this," his arm lightly gestured between the two of you.

"what is there to believe?," your arms shrugged, "you are only doing this since the only person that will run themselves ragid to save you…is deciding to leave."

"is that how you think of me?"

you watched him stretch pushing off the adjoining couch before he sauntered over to you slowly, watching you fold your arms around yourself.

“that i’m just doing all this to keep you here?”, he scoffed dragging his hands down his face as he landed in front of you, “yes. yes i am is that what you want to hear?”

he shifted flopping his arms at his side, watching your face with a renowned intensity. “i want you here cause i need you—i—”

“i would do anything for you. i even scarped this bullshit ass company for you,” he leaned down his face towards yours, his arm coming next to your body, “i would dismantle the world, if they did anything to you.”

“so if i say jump…you’ll say ‘how high?’”

he huffed, the air brushing against your lips as he leaned in your space, “i’d say how far.”

you don’t know who moved first. you hands gripped at the ends of his hair, his lips greedily kissing on yours.

his hands moved down your body, gripping and holding on your hips, as his mouth kept moving against yours. he held on and he flipped you both until you were nestled on his lap, a eep! falling into his mouth as he dragged you down against his growing erection.

your nails dragged against his undercut, panting as he licked back into your mouth, slowly grinding up into your covered cunt while your skirt pushed up from your thighs.

your lips separated with a quick smack!, as you gripped on his shirt, head lulling back as he descended his kisses lower on you neck to the unbuttoned parts of your shirt.

“i wouldn’t be súper without you,” he murmured almost lovingly as he draped you down on the couch, “i wouldn’t be here without you,” his kisses continued, his hands pulling your panties down your thighs slowly as you arched up into him.

“i didn’t let you go then…why would i do it now?”

his lips crashed back into yours, his long fingers finding your clit, pressing down until you whimpered in his mouth and going in rough circles before finally slipping inside.

“satoru—”

“shhh,” he hugged his teeth pulling out your bottom lip as he watched your face scrunch up in pleasure, “just let me make you feel good…i’m holding back so hard to not leave a scratch on your pretty self.”

his second finger slipped in, pumping in and out of you rhythmically before he curled them just right against the spongy spot inside you.

“right there!—”

his fingers kept fucking into you, brushing inside you and getting sucked by your gummy walls before you gripped his shoulders, scrunching up his shirt again, your toes curling as you came.

"i need you so bad," he murmured between kisses as he opened up his pants, pulling it down enough for his cock to spring up against his belly, hard, red and angry.

he lined up against your entrance leaning down to slot his lips against yours as he popped his tip inside and slowly oushed inside, pushing your legs up to your chest in a mean mating press when he finally oushed in.

of course, satoru is superman…he isn't going to fuck gently.

he slammed inside you, pulling back until just his tip rested inside before pressing all the way in at the hilt, pressing your legs further than you ever thought they could go, feeling the stretch of his cock and the stromg burn in your legs as he bent you in half.

his balls slapped against you ass with each pound, his blue eyes wide and manic as he gazed intently at every twitch of your face, at every spasm of your hands and at the drool falling out your mouth as you babbled at him, your arms reaching to pull him closer.

your walls gripped around him, causing him to slow down with a hiss, pulling away from your messy spit filled kiss as you pulled on any part of him that you could reach.

"you ready?"

"come with me then."

you let out a wanton moan, your body clenching up as you grasped at him, feeling him lock up not too long after, his thick load into you and callopsing finally.

your chest heavied, pushing at him when he draped his full weight down,

"get off." you whined, "you're heavy."

"i just fucked you, and you're still so mean," he huffed, snuggling closer in your shirt before checking his shiny watch on his wrist.

"it's midnightttt."

"what's on the schedule today?"

yorikae