Living with Type 1

A few thoughts on diabetes and faith.

Et voila - my pizzancreas! 2 years has gone so quickly. It was my second diaversary this week, and I enjoyed making more diabetes-shaped food to celebrate! But why do I celebrate my diagnosis every April? Why would I be joyful in remembering the malfunctioning of an organ, loss of freedom and the start of daily blood tests and injections? Why do I celebrate the death of an innocent man every April? Why would I be joyful in remembering the corruption of justice, loss of life and torturous bloodshed? I celebrate because this Easter could have marked the two year anniversary of my death. But it didn't. I celebrate because this Easter could have marked the end of Jesus Christ's life. But it didn't. This Easter Sunday, I celebrated my earthly survival through insulin and my eternal life through Christ. I celebrate LIFE conquering death, the hope of resurrection and renewal. I celebrate because my pain allows me to understand the full extent of God's joy, my weakness his strength and my survival his 'life to the full'. (The pizza was delicious, by the way.) Happy Easter!

(p.s. I promise I was not paid to say all that nice stuff about DAFNE….!)

Happy World Diabetes Day (for the 14th November)! I decided to do a "day in the life of a Type 1" food diary to raise awareness of what we have to consider and calculate each mealtime. It was a bit of a yoyo day as far as bloods are concerned! So here are my pictures... Breakfast BG: 11.0mmol/L Carbs: 75g Insulin: 5 units Midday Hypo (almost) BG: 4.1mmol/L Carbs: 20g Lunch BG: 5.4mmol/L Carbs: 75g Insulin: 2 units (reduced by 50% for exercise in afternoon) Dinner BG: 10.3mmol/L (didn't do as much exercise as predicted) Carbs: 120g Insulin: 7 units This all so normal to me now, it surprises me when I realise most of my friends seeing these pictures on Facebook/Twitter don't have to consider any of this. They see a bowl of pasta, I see 70g of carbohydrate. They see a glass of healthy orange juice, I see a substance so sugary it requires an injection. Hopefully now, they will read "Type 1 Diabetes" and see from the same perspective as me.

Seeing my consultant this week... can you tell?

I’ve done it. I can’t believe I’ve actually done it. One whole year since Friday, 5th April 2013 brought me the life changing label of ‘Type 1 Diabetes’. 365 days since a relaxed Twilight movie marathon was interrupted by the doctor’s call and my first hospital visit. 1,460 injections since a non-diabetic Naomi learnt how dramatically health affects everything, and how fragile life really is. 2,190 blood glucose tests since being classed ‘disabled’, ticking ‘long term medical condition’ boxes and having ‘special arrangements’ in school. And here I am; healthy, happy and hopeful. I’m more grateful than ever for our NHS, my supportive family and my faithful saviour. By God’s grace and strength, a year has passed without resenting my condition or grieving over my lost health, but learning and growing and being shaped through the experience of living with a chronic disease. Happy 1 Year Diaversary!

This time last year, I was living with undiagnosed diabetes. Just days away from slipping into a coma, my mum recognised the symptoms. All it takes is a quick doctor's appointment; I was diagnosed in A&E a few hours later. If you, or someone you know, is experiencing any of these symptoms, please please please just get it checked out. Awareness is key!

Today is a good diabetes day. Not because my endo actually helped yesterday and my blood sugars have improved. Not because my weight is back to where it was, and I'm injecting only once a day. And definitely not because my Christmas diet showed up in my HbA1c.. Today is a good diabetes day because in scrolling through tumblr, I see inspiring stories, funny gifs, relatable pictures, real advice, and a whole world of young type 1 diabetics, reminding me that I'm not alone. So thanks to my diabetes family for making me feel I'm more than a defect. Who needs an active pancreas anyway?

I KNOW you need carbs, I KNOW I don't need to diet, I KNOW chocolate tastes good, but when faced with a choice between a salad or an injection, I KNOW most people would choose the painless option.  

Spent an incredible week on a youth mission trip to Albania, and took double my supplies and lots of snacks in preparation! We helped the homeless, ran a kids club for Roma children in poverty, volunteered in a school and church, and I had annoyingly high blood sugars throughout. More annoyingly, my next check up has been rescheduled from December to this week, meaning I have no time to clean up my glucose record before the consultant analyses it! My excuse is that I'd rather be high than low when abroad, but I know the real reason is because I'm getting lazy. 7 months (happy diaversary to me..!) and I'm getting kind of sick of it all. What if I want an extra snack? Or go to dance class without nearly collapsing mid-dance? There's too much going on and thoughts swimming around my head to worry about staying between 4 and 8. Surely as long as I'm awake and alive it's fine? And then I remember the long term implications of being careless. Amputations. Blindness. Heart Disease. Kidney Damage. And I get freaked out and angry and wish everyone else had a chronic disease to understand what it's like to have health threats like that. It angers me that I'm so used to injecting and testing while others might have to get one jab a year, or cut their finger occasionally. Still, I'm alive, and I wouldn't have been 100 years ago. And life is the greatest thing, whatever Terms & Conditions you have to tick to experience it.

UPDATE: Three years on, and I’m still living with Type 1. But that doesn’t diminish God’s power or desire to heal. I’ve experienced and learnt so much through having this diagnosis, and still firmly believe that God will heal me - whether that’s in this life or the next. 

Tired, drained, a bit shaky, yeah a lie down will cure this... Then I realise it's not normal for a 17 year old to need a nap in the middle of the day. And so the search for jelly babies and coke begins...

Yeah, God’s got it sussed.

Health is a funny thing. There's nothing else that cuts through your plans and daily routine as sharply as a sudden accident or diagnosis. I never had any health problems or broken bones or accidents, so I guess I always took my hospital-free life for granted. I liked to trust in myself- I never took paracetamol or tablets when I should have, and always believed my body could deal with illness without help. Its a little different when you have a failing organ. Relying on the NHS, routinely checking my health, depending on something that isn't me. It's not the injections that are difficult to get used to, it's the complete change of mind. Water, food, shelter, insulin. Twice yesterday I was late to inject as I completely forgot, which reminded me that I'm still a baby in the Diabetes world. A month old on Sunday, in fact! It also made me realise how easy it was to go back to trusting myself and forget my insulin dependence. Similarly, how easy it is to forget our God dependence! To go back to trusting ourselves and believing we can get through life without Him. Forgetting to listen and pray then wondering why things go pear-shaped. You're still a baby in the spiritual world too, Naomi, and you need God more than any synthetic hormone.

I’ve made a concious decision not to let Naomi = Diabetic. Yes, I have diabetes - a permanent medical label - but diabetes doesn’t have me. I control it, not the other way round.