You wanna go where it glows.

What is love? (Baby don’t hurt me?)

Slowly.

Inch by inch, I want to be seen.

Openly.

Obsessively.

I’ve been working so hard in therapy. And I’ve been feeling so much better. But this last week has been so hard. And i think it’s the separation. It’s just too much. Combine that with a jarring conversation with my Mom. That once again reminded me of the very event that my therapist says caused some PTSD. But god dammit. Why do I feel like this? I hate set backs. They feel like failure. When I thought I was on the right track. I carry things around like weights. And I don’t tell anyone until it’s too late. The panic has already settled in and made a home in my brain.

I’m just scared I didn’t find the answer. And I’m gonna have to switch meds again. This is just too mother fucking hard and I’m tired of it. It’s been over 3 years. I know there’s other factors at play. I know. But it’s almost midnight and I’m usually asleep by now. But I can’t sleep. I’m basically causing myself to be more upset than I need to be. I do this.