ImJustAFaggot:)

A Haiku// Heart

The heart is fragile

Broken with only simple words

Easy to break not fix

Fade

It's ironic how many people I've let fade away And yet I still think about them nearly every day

A Very Sad Reality, Indeed

She always watches shows to pass the time. The romantic ones to be specific, filled with tragedy and love. Her favorite ones to watch, despite what she’s told everyone else. She loves watching the scenes of pure love in its simplest form, because it’s something she won’t have. She cries after watching countless episodes; realizing truly how lonely she is. Realizing she’s only watching them to fill the void of what she’s truly missing. And most importantly realizing that she is the only one at fault for not being able to have love. Because she pushes every one away when they get too close, afraid to waste time with yet another person, and sometimes just because people don’t find her good enough. This is the sad reality of the hopeless romantic.

Simple

Keep it short and sweet People like the simple things

A “What If” Scenario.

You're in the hospital bed, unconscious. Although you can't see it, they are gathered in the room in silence, staring at you. The sound of your monitor beeping at a steady pace. These people gathered around you? Well they are your friends. The gang has gotten together plenty of times before, for numerous occasions. This occasion was different from the others. Your life is on the line and everyone is aware of it except for you. You're asleep and have been for the past day or two since the “accident.” They have all gathered in that room to visit you so you wouldn't be alone. As time ticks by they reflect on their time with you, not knowing if this will be the end. Stories of every stupid, funny or kind thing you've ever said or done around them are being exchanged across the room. Smiles, tears and laughter all radiated from the faces of these friends at different moments of each story. It is during these moments that everyone realizes the significance of each others friendship and the memories they share. And when it's least expected, as everyone gathers their things and begins to leave, your eyes slowly open. "Wait" comes out of your mouth so quietly that they almost don't hear you. You heard the things they said while you were asleep, but you were trapped within yourself and couldn't reach out. Now that you have woken from your imprisoning sleep you can show them the same gratitude they showed you. You finally realize all the times you wished for death and felt intense sadness was because you had always overlooked the immense love and good memories found with your friends. This story could have a happy ending, the sadness could stop, but it would be up to you and whether you'd be willing to always remember the amazing things you truly have in your life, whether they be big or small. So what ending will you be allowing to happen? Would you follow the road to recovery and happiness, or would you follow the same road of sadness and self-induced loneliness until you reach an imminent death?

Did You Dream?

"Did you dream?" Well my kind friend, I am always dreaming. Dreaming of the future, The what-ifs, Of all the endless possibilities within this life. Whether it be sleeping or awake, I am always dreaming.

Angry

I am angry Very, very angry. Something I should be used to I’ve only dealt with it most of my life. Reacted to it a million times Whatever, eventually I will be fine.

A Fear of Love? Maybe?

“It’s not that I believe I won’t find love again or that love isn’t real. Love is definitely real. I’m just afraid of falling in love again with someone who doesn’t actually love me back. 

Because what I received from him, that was not love. What I felt towards him, now that was love. 

And I curse that past relationship for ruining my subconscious mentality towards relationships of the future in total.”

Hopeless Romantic

     “Her head was constantly filled with daydreams. Hopes for an unrealistic happiness with an unrealistic guy who does unrealistically nice things. She was always that way; craving a romance so innocent and sweet. Yet she never acquired it, she always found herself in ordinary relationships with a sad ending. 

     She was always getting hurt by the boy, what a cliche. Building her walls up so high, and doing anything to please someone willing to give the slightest affection, no matter the cost. She was a people-pleaser, could never say no. She didn’t pay mind to how she was affected and felt, as long the other person was happy then none of it mattered. 

    But at night she’ll lay in bed alone still daydreaming and hoping for that sweet, innocent romance. The one she can never get.”

Feeling Disconnected Again...

I feel like an extra in the movie called life. 

No real significance, just passing by with the time.

This feeling is weird.

Trials and Errors

Up, down, up, down and sometimes a twist.   Life is like a roller coaster from the very beginning.   It is in the small things we see it.   The struggles of your first words,   oh how that moment of sweet success was savored.   The first time you told mom “I can do this”   and ultimately failed.   But that one mistake didn’t stop you,   because you tried again and again. Later, if you faced the blades of their words that pierced your heart you did not drop to your knees and surrender, you merely pulled the swords out and killed your enemies with kindness. It was just another trial to test your courage. Later, if you have encountered the ultimate anguish, then you did it not with the help of those around you, but with the help of your inner warrior. Yourself. The only person who could understand you, and you built yourself up, stronger than ever before. Later, when you near the end, it will still be shown in the little ways. It is in your last days that you realize, life was merely a series of trials and errors, each one building your courage for your last living moment. When death opens its arms wide, preparing to embrace you, you will be able to strut forward fearlessly, and accept its gentle grasp. All of this being possible because you overcame the series of trials and errors otherwise known as life.