Yokoskitsune

As requested by @and-i-ll-be-singing , a proper post that isn't hidden in the comments.

He DOES miss Crepus so much, He missed the moments when Crepus would bust him out of solitary confinement and goof off for the rest of the day, when he happen to meet him when he was on patrol, with drinks on hand, somehow never getting caught, he missed especially how he'd have the perfect drinks for him every time, and felt like he could relax, and realized he didn't have to fight with paying attention like he normally did whenever they were together. Varka visits him at his grave, does some small talk, tells him about the new recruits, how everyone is doing, the mess that Seamus and Frederika were up to, how he's doing, how his sons are doing... but it isn't the same. he doesn't feel as focused as they did back then; too much, and yet too little alcohol, but his friend is here listening at least. He misses his lighthearted and warm responses, was able to effortlessly keep a conversation going through the wee hours of the morning; but now it's silence. It's a somber feeling, one that sobers him up no matter how much alcohol is consumed. There is an empty pit that alcohol just doesn't fill. He starts to think back to the last time he saw him.

After Varka had forgotten yet another thing-last time it was papers, another time his keys, poor guy would forget his head if it weren't attached; Crepus pointed out the only thing he hadn't left was his sword, which remains attached to his side at all times; he suggested leaving his coat for the night.

Confused, but not one to argue with him, does just that and asks when he can get it back. "Oh how about when you come by for a round?" He says. Crepus gets to work as soon as he leaves; he may not be the *best* at sewing, but attaching a satchel pocket isn't too difficult. Staring at it for a moment, he takes in Varka's scent from his jacket. He pauses, wandering what he was doing, it's not like Varka is interested in him anyway...he includes a leather bound journal into it; he'd give it to him tomorrow but he's more likely to leave it too, so in it goes now.

The next day, Varka comes in "hey right on time, your usual?" He asks, knowing the answer already; how could he not? Varka is very predictable in his tastes, in more ways than one (if only he'd have a bit of his observation skills towards himself) "you know it!" He joyfully exclaims "you really make the best drinks around, you know" he says with a big smile Crepus smiles back as he makes his special drink, just strong enough to calm his mind enough to not have 15 topics at one time, and slides it over

" I got your coat too, let me grab that" he says, goes to the back, and comes out with it in hand. It didn't look all that different in all honesty, and had to ask what he did to it "well, why don't you put it on and find out? Crepus says proud of himself. Varka does and immediately notices a slight weight on one side "oh hey! That's handy! Kinda heavier than normal isn't it?" Gods this dumb himbo. " Maybe try checking the pocket" he says trying not to laugh.

He does this, and to his surprise, pull out a journal; flipping through it, he sees that there's enough pages in it to last for a while, even with heavy use. He also noticed that it's latched to the pocket

"You mentioned you were having trouble remembering stuff at work and on field, well there's your solution! I can't follow you around all the time reminding you about stuff you forgot, I'd be at it all day!" Crepus explained happily, giving lighthearted jabs.

Varka on the other hand was still processing everything that was said as he stared at the journal for a bit, the alcohol not fully kicked in yet, but once it did "HAHAHA YOU'RE COMPLETELY RIGHT; GODS, YOU'RE THE BEST CREPUS" he was so easy to please, but the fact that his dear friend went out of his way to help him this much, suddenly gave him a good ol Varka-styled bear hug, practically lifting poor crepus off the ground in doing so.

"I'm *mmph* glad you're happy" he said grimacing a bit, trying to breathe, quietly imagining this but in bed. Oop better stop before he got a hard on, he taps Varka shoulder " bud you're crushing me" "hahaha whoops my bad, but seriously you're amazing I never would have thought of this! AND I can't just set it down, this is perfect! Thank you my friend!!!" He joyfully exclaims.

"For you? Anytime, and anywhere" crepus responds with a smile.

The memory ends as he looks back again at the silent grave, pulling out the journal from his pocket; years later, it was full now, but he still kept it, especially when he came to visit Crepus' grave, even if he didn't really look through it. It actually did help him out a lot, and came in handy when he started doing expeditions. flipping through old pages mindlessly, he found something unexpected: a strand of distinctly red hair had apparently gotten wedged at the base where the glue met the pages; it must've fallen in the pocket when Crepus installed it, and then gotten stuck at some point due to the high temperatures from when they moved through the sumeru desert and/or natlan.

-if Varka was a dog, he'd be a golden retriever. He has big happy energy, loves adopting people, makes friends with everyone regardless of rank, status, affiliation

-speaking of adopting, he 1000% wants kids of his own but he doesn't have someone that close at the moment (yet) it isn't that he doesn't want a life partner or to settle down (is that possible lollol) it a mix of if something happened to him or he has to be on front lines again, he doesn't want to leave them alone

-he DEFINITELY thought about asking Alice to let him have the ability to have kids at least once, but he's definitely afraid of what that would entail (especially with avid fanfic writer Nicole involved) and decided against it. Then found out Albedo created Durin and tried that method, and was shot down on account of the ingredients no longer existing

-He doesn't think he has a type and likes everyone, which is true, but he definitely has a very specific preference that involves "mischievous and suspicious goth men that also happen to have something to hide" probably his inner golden retriever wants to sniff out the secrets and love on them to show it's ok. He's the meme equivalent of if I had a nickel every time this happened I'd have 2 nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice (crepus and flins)

-he is definitely someone that would follow a suspicious person into the woods with promise of free alcohol

-if there was a blatant trap in the woods with alcohol as bait, he'd fall for it on purpose, if he comes out of it alive and with a drink, then who's REALLY winning in this situation?

-speaking of, this is less of a jab at Varka and more towards Crepus, but got to explain this one first. There's an anecdote for Varka where he's kinda off on the coast/in the middle of the woods where he was lamenting about how he didn't run into Flins so they could have a drink together; mind you this isn't anywhere near the lighthouse, nor is he very close to the favonious base, NOR did he arrange to meet in this random area, so why tf would he think he'd randomly happen upon a wild Flins? My bet, given his goldie retriever habits, it's happened before, and probably multiple times. Who else but with his og suspicious goth man, Crepus.

We know now from recent exerps, that Crepus had a rather mischievous streak (def explains diluc+kaeya) and they were besties (most likely more than that, at MINIMUM one sided pining with the other oblivious asf) so the headcanon for Crepus is that he somehow learned Varka's patrol routes, and found the best opportunity to catch him alone at what points, and how long he had before it became suspicious, would "randomly" show up, probably out in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere, alcohol in hand greeting his bestie so they could have a drink together. And Varka just..never questioned this. So now he meets NEW suspicious goth man, Flins, and thinks "ah yes, these two are similar, so I will probably see him in the woods at random also!" (Granted, it WOULD be something Flins would probably do, but he has a bit of self awareness to know that that's not a normal "human" thing to do. Probably if Varka brings it up at some point, he will definitely do that, just for him.)

-based upon how the battle with Rerir was planned, and how Jean handles him, despite being a headstrong leader that's quick to take charge, he secretly likes being dominated. Be the thing you want for yourself as they say

-he's definitely almost called Diluc "Crepus" several times, especially in recent years, to the point where Diluc thinks he just developed a verbal tick (hmm must be one too many concussions)

-he's definitely tried to adopt literally everyone, but the courts won't let him (sir you have 5 already, that's more than enough)

-he definitely has severe, untreated adhd.

-he has a stein collection, one from every nation and city he's visited

-with the knights back and no sign of the horses anywhere, Imma say he ate them. UNLESS WE SEE THEM IN SNEZHAYA, HE (and probably the troops) ATE ALL THE FUCKING HORSES INTO EXTINCTION. He didn't bring the calvary captain, Kaeya, along becauSE HE WAS GOING TO EAT THEM AND KAEYA SEEING THE GRANDMASTER EAT ALL THE DAMN HORSES WAS DEFINITELY GOING TO MAKE HIM JOIN THE ABYSS (wTF DO YOU MEAN YOU ATE WHINNYFREID, YOU FUCKING MONSTER)

-extending into silly territory with the previous headcanon, as an absolute batshit power move, he meets with the fatui army, sits down, and eats every. Single. Horse. In one sitting. They are traumatized to hell and back, rumors spread amongst the Snezhayans, telling their children of the behemoth man(?) with the mouth and stomach linked directly to the abyss devouring every horse into extinction, and he'll come for them too if they don't go to bed or behave. Some think it's silly until someone brings up something related to horses, and their grandpa goes into a thousand yard stare with imaginary raid sirens as they crumple into a rambling mess. The tsarista and harbingers have concluded that Mondstadt is too dangerous: a person non gratia, another kh'anreahn(sp), mentally unstable captains, a whole ass dragon, and a man(?) that annihilated an entire species in one sitting. They label Mondstadt as "proceed with extreme caution" and keep their presence to a minimum.

-he doesn't assign titles to knights for what they do, he assigns them based on how cool they sound. They're purely based on vibes.

-he totally loves chick flicks and romance movies, and he's a big crier at them (he will deny this though) his favorite is The Notebook.

-he also loves Disney movies, knows all the songs by heart, could reenact some of the movies, and is a total Disney adult. He very much thought Jafar, Hades, and Scar were hot

-he is a big cuddler and loves being little spoon just as much as he loves being big spoon (if only there was someone tall enough...)

-he tried to change his title from grandmaster to grand-dad/daddy master (so that people would call him dad) not only was it shut down, he was immediately given Jean's signature attack, put into solitary confinement, and then placed in a training awareness session for harassment

-he will sing in the shower/bath (not very in-key), use his shampoo bottles as a microphone, and shape his hair in fun spikes, also will do cool poses in the mirror

Edit to add more:

-his euphemism for his dck is calling it a dragon, people have to gather context clues to figure out if he got laid or if he's talking about a literal dragon (he doesn't realize there could be confusion and continues doing this; Flins will absolutely confuse the situation further if he can)

@and-i-ll-be-singing

They stayed like this for a while before Kaeya released first "ok 'Luc" he started "hold on, take off your eyepatch first, THEN you can swear by Adelinde's cooking. "Whaaaat you want to see the eye you injured, master diluc I knew you were sadistic but this is too much" kaeya said playfully acting bashful "yeah ok" he deadpanned as he whipped the eyepatch off seeing-yup it's a normal, uninjured eye. There was a light scar near where said injury was, but was otherwise fine. "Hey! Not fair" Kaeya tried to take it back, but Diluc yanked it back further "Last thing I want to hear is that you secretly looked another direction with your other eye and you try to say later that it didn't count. Also, if you don't let it be exposed to light, it can weaken and turn into a lazy eye. Then I'd have to laugh at you for doing that to yourself just to commit to a bit" Diluc jabbed. "You are so infuriating you know that?" Kaeya half smiled acting annoyed, while loving every second of this interaction "very well, I sw-" "nope, hands in the air, no fingers crossed" Diluc interrupted, sassily, but also in seriousness. Kaeya sighed with a resigned smile, raising up his hands, and then crossed all his fingers in defiance to be sassy back, to which diluc gives him a noogie, messing up his hair just as much. "Ey that hurts luc, what happened to not turning your sword on me" "these aren't swords, they're guns" "LUC THAT'S WORSE" "so are you gonna swear or do I have to tickle you" diluc demanded "you wouldn't, and I won't let you anyway, I can dodge anything you throw at me" kaeya said confidently. In response, Diluc raised his hands, and then extended his fingers outward ready to strike all tickle spots "last chance. Also it's unfortunate that you have to be coerced like this" he says."maybe I missed the cute playful side of my big brother" he goaded, daring him to continue. What occurred next was a flurry of jabs, clearly a technique learned from somewhere during his travels, as they were much faster than anticipated, kaeya dodged some, but it looks like his tickle spots were still definitely ticklish. "OK OK I GIVE, I SWEAR ON ADELINDE'S COOKING" he exclaimed between fits of laughter that hasn't been shared in years, came out from them both, tears streaming, both feeling a sense of relief, the long years of tension finally dissipating between them

I just hope I make you proud." it was Kaeya's turn to remain quiet for a while before he finally said his piece "there's a lot that went unsaid would have liked to have talked with you over wine during my coming of age, maybe..I could have my troubles sorted out..I think… probably I have been hoping to join you before I would have to make a difficult choice" he glances at Diluc before continuing "I don't think I have to hope for that anymore.. dad" Diluc lightened up a bit after hearing kaeya (on his own) call crepus dad, he knows it's definitely a hard thing for him to do willingly.

@and-i-ll-be-singing

@and-i-ll-be-singing

Minus the drinking, their coping mechanisms were essentially the same, not that either will openly admit it. Kaeya takes the towel, chills it again, seeing Diluc's glowering expression, puts the towel on his head, his mischievous streak kicking in, proceeds to aggressively rub the towel on Diluc's head and take it off, making his hair stick up all over looking like a very grumpy red pomeranian; gods how he wished he had a Kamera "KAE, WHAT THE FUCK" he exclaims as he tries to at least untangle the mess of curls. Kaeya felt a jolt of shock from surprise and joy, he hadn't heard this nickname said out loud in a long time, at the same time, he was really nervous that he may have just ruined what peace they had between them. But of course, he had to play it cool regardless "you just looked so down on yourself, I just had to make sure you didn't get lost in your own thoughts" he said as if that was the most obvious thing that could have been done in the moment. "And I'll have you know…" he started as he extended his index finger like he was educating a novice, "…that I drink because alcohol is delicious, thank you very much" Diluc could only deadpan stare as he watched this overly pompous act of his trying to puff up his confidence as he used half truth to deflect again. "gods you're such a peacock" Diluc stated defeated. "And don't you forget it" Kaeya winked, pleased that this did not explode into something nasty and for getting Diluc to give up. He then poked (jabbed?) his index finger onto Diluc's head, forcing him to lay down. "I'll cool the room off while you rest, I'll just chill here and read a book or something" On top of working himself to the point of sickness, Kaeya's antics, and now no longer absolutely miserable from a fever, the second Diluc's head hit the pillow, he started dozing off. There were a few things he wanted to say in retort-cool it with the puns, thank you, whatever you say, I'm sorry for everything I did to you; but all he got out was "thanks..cool.. whatever…" And passed out from exhaustion. Not the greatest string of words, but the intent was there. "Yeesh talk about giving the cold shoulder, so ungrateful" Kaeya joked, as he cooled the room for Diluc as promised. Luckily for him, he had seen this once before when they were younger, so he knows that Diluc didn't mean his last semi-sentient words like that. He'll totally use it as blackmail next time he tries to cut Kaeya off drinks though.

After a bit of time passed, and Kaeya was very certain he wasn't going to wake up anytime soon, he decided to play with Diluc's hair a bit, this is a golden opportunity that doesn't come around often after all. He started thinking about the various silly styles he could do- spikes, straight up and out, microcurls, braids (but make them uneven so it looks funny later) he noticed something was off but it took him a second to figure out what it was, and it hit him: Diluc didn't get to shave today (totally not meaning discreetly burn off any facial hair throughout the day). He's very meticulous about his appearance, almost to the point of obsession, so this virtually never happens. Kaeya was lost for words as he found himself moving on his own, brushing Diluc's bangs to the sides, and moving his hair to frame his face as he remembered how He had his styled. "Oh … This is why you were doing this to yourself…heh " he darkly said. He WAS aware they looked alike mind you, but he was practically staring at a mirror image of Master Crepus when he was first brought to the Dawn Winery all those years ago. It…hurt seeing him again, he also felt conflicted, he had things he did want to say to Master Crepus, but this is not him, and just briefly thinking about using Diluc as a pseudo-fill in just felt so… wrong. Kaeya mostly took after his mom whom he didn't have any recollection of, save for his eyes. If he took after his dad like Diluc did, he imagined he'd probably spiral too. "I suppose I should count myself lucky on that part" Kaeya thought "lucky…" He repeated out loud to himself. IS it luck? Or is this some sick form of fate…? "just great, now I'M the one stuck with my own thoughts" he thought as he slumped back in the chair with his hand over his eyes. "I could use a drink." He moaned. THIS was why he hated to be left alone, why he's always pestering Diluc, why he takes on so many missions, why he drinks-he didn't have to think so much about the future that was preplanned for him, whatever the hell that entailed; Kaeya would tell himself that it's in the future, worry about the now, but how long do I have in the "now", a few days? Few more months? years? Until tomorrow? Perhaps if I die then I don't have to worry about it, but I also want to live life to the fullest.

"I wish I could have told Master Crepus about my past too…I wonder what he would have said…he always had sound advice" Kaeya mused, his hand lingering over his covered eye looking back at Diluc, taking in one final glance at Master Crepus' image, before moving his hair back to how it normally was and getting a razor to clean up Diluc's face; last thing he wanted was to see his closest friend crashing out because he looks too much like his deceased father, much less on his birthday.

@and-i-ll-be-singing

"You know, you didn't need to call him here just for this; it would be cleared by tomorrow" Diluc protested. "That is true, Master Diluc, however that's only if you take the day to rest. Instead, a certain someone has taken every chance possible to try and do anything but that, including trying to leave the manor in more dubious methods, hence I asked Master Kaeya to watch over you in my stead so I can get back to my duties" Adelinde said matter-of-factly, giving the finger wag of disappointment, shooting down any means of rebuttal, and letting her employer know that his actions have been causing everyone trouble, Diluc backed down, defeated. He was trapped. "I shall take my leave now, thank you again Master Kaeya" she said, bowing to both brothers, before promptly leaving and closing the door behind her, leaving the two brothers alone in awkward silence.

@and-i-ll-be-singing

-Mine is much more mundane in theme than yours is, but I like to think that it tickles the angst crave a bit lol been a hot minute since I've done a short (and just before I have to go in for work and after) so please forgive if it sucks -it wound up really long sorry in advance, still hope it doesn't suck.-

On this day every year, Diluc has a habit of throwing himself into his work-any work- that he can get his hands on, much to the protest of Adelinde and his other staff; they'll typically give (force) him a break with a snack, perhaps some tea, anything that prompts some form of human connection. It's obvious what they're doing and secretly he does appreciate it, but he would also like to not let his thoughts wander too long, lest he think about That Day™, this…day…"nope, back to work" he thinks.

This has been par for the course every year, but this time it seems he has overworked himself into a headcold "Damn it all" he thinks to himself. Diluc isn't prone to getting sick often on account of his higher body temperature, so this will clear up in a day, so long as he rests, but running a fever on top of having a higher body temp, he's quite miserable and sticky from sweat. Adelinde made some tea and has been attending (holding Diluc hostage in his room) and reminded him that they managed 4 years without him, they can manage 1 day so he can rest.

reblogging my Cain Nightroad quick-test, I WILL finish this (eventually); still need the wings and then realized at some point that, while absolutely badass and would make amazing pics (at home), having a literal goat skull mounted on the back at a convention is not a feasible nor smart decision, so I gotta get that 3d scanned+printed at some point

_-_