Yogurt Lady

Not Everything That Crinkles Is a Snack For You - A novel by me, about my pets

Sometimes I Open the Fridge For Me - the thrilling sequel

This is honestly a life changing outlook. Thanks for protecting me uterus

british wizards be like, “omg hogwarts is the best wizarding school in the world” oh really? well beauxbatons didn’t have lord fucking voldemort on campus every other year

can you imagine being 26 years old and in marketing and you want to settle down with a rich stupid man who’s crazy about you and you FIND a divorcee who hasn’t talked to his ex in over a decade and has a very forgiving custody arrangement that would easily enable boarding school and is willing to MARRY you after a SIX TO EIGHT WEEK SUMMER ROMANCE with NO PRENUP and then his brat kid comes back from summer camp and it turns out his ESTRANGED OTHER TWIN DAUGHTER came back from camp and they hijack your entire life and put a lizard on you and then your hot old man ditches you for his hot mess of an ex WHO DESIGNED… THE CUSTOM WEDDING DRESS YOU HAD ALREADY PAID FOR. truly. a roller coaster summer…. all that scheming WASTED

the dean from community could wash half these met gala bitches on an off day

this is just like my favorite thing

bimbos and himbos of the jury,

men like the joker because clown recognizes clown, all part of the same clown fraternity honk sigma pi

I sent this to a boy and he said it was too long and wouldnt read it

Larva