go on, fill your heart with gladness

can u hold still while I focus the sunlight on your head with this giant magnifying glass, please?

“do you know where you’ll be headed in 5 years?” no. but i do know about themes and motifs. and friendship. and putting garlic on everything

shawty's like a malady in my head

IF YOU NEED ME I WILL BE PUTTING OFF IMPORTANT TASKS AND LETTING THEM HAUNT ME

another reason this is the only social media site i give a fuck to actually use is because you're allowed to add links to text instead of just having to paste a url into the body of your post like some kind of caveman.

Hello my beautiful human body! I’ve invited you here today to discuss adopting non-mucus-based solutions to common challenges—

They just invented the world’s fastest sandwich. They’re calling it the autobáhn mì

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

hey man everyone loved how convenient and easily forgettable you were on earth. u were the least inconvenient person out there. my buddy told me you were super helpful and nice and didn't take up any space and just slid away from their mind as soon as they stopped looking at you. it was really impressive how little of an impression you made on anyone. sucks that it didn't save you man.