hobbies?

the gret feesh

ichigo deez nuts

You were lucky enough to get to jerk off to this in 2001.

Usually it was just gravel or ants

i lied. put your clothes back off, I do actually like sex

Ron Zertnert

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

literally thank god sex isnt real and was just invented by big fiction to emphasize greater social and psychological themes i was getting scared id have to do all that

does anyone have a link to that one post where its like a bunch of girls in a school and I think they were doing a fortune teller bit or something but a bunch of boys go up to them with their problems and everytime they just recommend something to the effect of "have you tried crossdressing?"

I feel like there's an irony joke in here somewhere

im running out of posts to make is it cool with you guys if i just post smooth argonian again

I’ve got a tiny black hole in a jar. Cute and incomprehensible isn’t it? Don’t open the lid. The last guy who did that got turbo radiation poisoning.

*opens the jar*

Wait, how come you don't have cancer?

I don’t open the jar.

To those of you saying that the black hole would blow up in less than a nanosecond, clearly not. Because it’s still in the jar.

It would not blow up because the event horizon of a black hole that weighs as much as a cat would be miniscule. No idea how you suspended it in the jar though.

I didn’t say it was suspended in the jar. It still has mass. It’s on the bottom of the jar.

I love this thank you

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Every morning, I put on my thinking cap and my smartiepants. Unfortunately, there is no shirt that properly proclaims my intellectual abilities, so I have to go tits out

same