Mas Sam

We cannot hold on to moments that are already gone.

Fluent, Like a River

The Irish poet, priest, and philosopher John O’Donohue (1956-2008) wrote,

Fluent

I would like to live

Like a river flows.

Carried by the surprise

Of its own unfolding.

I’m glad for the image of water, flowing. I’m glad for the invocation of how the river is never the same twice. It changes. As do we.

The river and its flow are as close as I can find to what we humans are in our shifting consciousness, or perhaps spirit. We too, are never the same twice. We too, are carried by an inherent unfolding.

There is something compellingly inviting to me in the invitation to notice ourselves, others, and the many scales of composite, as flowing.

The river is not the water, nor the banks.

We humans, in these many places of dwelling, are not just mind, nor are we just shells for physiology.

For when we, like the river, are seen as mystery in motion, ah, then it gets so much more interesting and alive.

Dancing Trees of Sumba, Indonesia

nowadays i am surrounded by nothing but the kindest, most loving humans on earth. friends who throw me surprise birthday parties and travel the globe just to keep me company! (things i never ever thought i would deserve!) people who visit me in the hospital and people who call me late at night just because! i am a highly successful and accomplished lesbian, and i am finding so much love and support despite the sexism and homophobia i face, and every night i go to sleep happy. i used to cry every night as a teenager, and now all i do is smile and feel so at peace. i never thought i could feel this stable. i thought i was somehow worse and doomed to always feel unstable and sad and always have panic attacks, and now its been about three years since my last one

it genuinely gets so much better. you just have to survive the hard parts, then the growing pains feel like heaven. moving 5k miles from my home, leaving bad friends, it was all so hard and all so worth it. i thank the world i got to get old every day, and i cant wait to get older :-)

to anyone struggling right now - all you have to do tonight is survive. you will flourish someday, but if all you can do tonight is live, then live. it wont be easy to change your lide, but itll feel like the best thing on earth, and the feeling you get at dinner surrounded by people who love you and you love, that will make it all worth it. its beautiful to be queer once you make it out <3

I love relationships that don’t look the way we’re conditioned that kind of relationship “has to” or “should” look.

Let people show and receive love the way they want in their relationships. And celebrate that difference in intimacy. As long as everyone feels loved, respected, and cared for, I think atypical relationships are wonderful.

Let nonbinary people love other nonbinary people in a nonbinary way. Let nblnb people not have to be gay or lesbian and just be nblnb. Hell! Let one of them be gay and the other be lesbian! Who cares?