Yenny Bae’s Posts

It’s was crisp winter Friday morning as you walk to work. You are a R2 at the ED of PTMC and you love it. The highs and the lows, the chaos and the calm. It’s a chilly day in spite of the sun shinning bright in the sky, you love this weather maybe it’s the juxtapose of the cold and warm feeling or you were wired like that. While blasting your ears with “Highway to Hell”, you were really giddy and thinking about your workplace. You thought it was the weather that lifted your spirits, it dawned you then it was also the fact you had your day off after pulling a few day and night shifts in your first month.

You couldn’t help but think the “Night Crawlers” were less chaotic than the day shifts who you were a part off! Though you were dark and mysterious, a good girl ready to join the dark side, you were hardly any trouble. Maybe it’s the pressure of not screwing up and the unrealistic expectations your mum laid on your shoulder made you resilient, responsible and fucking good at your job but you felt like an imposter even though you know that you loved your job and were pretty good at it.

Dr Al-Hashimi was your attending and she had become your mentor sub-consciously. You would be lying to yourself if you denied that you didn’t have a crush on that calm boss bitch. She was an ocean of knowledge, empathy and professionalism that you want to impress and soak up like a sponge.

You were quickly adopted by Dr Santos, Dr Whitaker and Dr Mel on your first shift like a big eye puppy that was lost but was somehow keeping it together. You never understood why people were scared of Santos, she’s the epitome of looks like it can kill you, but is a cinnamon roll.

Dr Langdon was your bro dude at this point which Santos didn’t seem to like but couldn’t care less as she wanted to steer far away from Langdon as much as possible and Langdon did the same. Santos would always switch her cases with you when Langdon was involved, it worked well for both of them but you didn’t know how long they could keep up with these shenanigans. Anyways he was happy to take your help and work with Mel.

Dr McKay was someone who you hadn’t interacted the most but made it a mission to assist her on cases more often, Dr Javadi was basically family(your mum and Dr Shamsi are besties, let’s unpack that later).

The nurses as usual were dope as fuck and you like them and had a good rapport.

Night shift was amazing as well, you mean this is what you could do in a month.

Your ADHD brain could only keep up with you this far as you reach your workplace, in a good mood and with radical optimism, which Dana clocked in a mile away while you walked greeting everyone on you way to the central Bay Area.

“Someone’s feisty today”, she said as she checked out your boxer braids. “Good morning Dana! You too”, you were scared but you shot your shot anyways.

“I am, Robby’s back!”, she said excitedly while checking her computer.

You were so caught up in your own world that you lowkey didn’t realize that the Chief Attending was back and you were basically working in his Pitt. He was early, like 72hrs early, I guess that was Robby.

He was even early to the shift, maybe it was because he was catching up with Gloria about how his ED worked in his absence and more departmental stuff. As you were looking at your phone and reading the overbearing and instructive texts your mum was sending you, while nodding to Dana telling, “ Kid! You haven’t meet Robby yet, so whenever he’s down at the ED meet him. He might come later as he’s busy today with Gloria in meetings and getting debriefs. I know you’re one of the best residents but try and make a good impression!”.

You understood what Dana had to tell but Robby was a myth to you. You couldn’t seem to comprehend the sheer magnitude of Robby’s presence, maybe you were new or it was the lack of IRL interaction that you were void of that made him just your chief attending Dr Michael Robby Robinavitch, whom you want to impress because he was the boss.

Dana was a mama bear through and through, she would fiercely protect you at the same time wouldn’t give 2 fucks to rip into you if you were wrong. “These Gen-Zs can’t seem to get their heads out of their phones”, she said angry and pissed while being whisked by Princess to triage. “S-sorry Dana! I heard you loud and clear! Will let you know when I meet Dr Robbinavitch”, you frantically said while you turned your phone to silent and unpacking the essentials from your bag as you prepared to head to the locker and log in.

While you were logging in, you heard a calm slurping voice over your shoulder, “ Sup! You coming or not?” You were scared the shit out and turn around to see it was Dr Shen, the nonchalant, calm and collective night shift attending that you vibed with. You could definitely learn a thing or two from the king of unbothered energy himself on how not suppressing your emotions and later express your pent up emotions in an unhealthy way like your therapist warned you. “S-shit,s-sorry you scared me there! Coming now!”, you said and Shen started laughing and walking with you. He offered you coffee and you took a sip. Damn! That man’s coffee looks strong but it was not as strong as you like it. It was way sugary for a gal that doesn’t take her coffee with sugar, but you were grateful for the offer.

You saw the gang with Dr Al and Dr Ellis, who you had gone out drinking with a few times now. You looked up to her, that quintessential out of fucks to give energy and the way she worked on the cases was something you wanted to master one day.

“Woah! is it me or the entire day shift woke up on the right side of the bed? Everyone’s happy! I guess we’re still waiting to meet Robby.”, As soon as Shen blurted this out every one in unison side eyed him. Mel just shouted, “YOU JINXED IT” and then slouched in dejection.

Al and Ellis stared him down, so did you and Santos. “S-Sorry!”, Shen said and we got right down to the handover.

You were finally going to assist McKay today and you both were going to start with triage. McKay hadn’t been to the triage for a while now and you were more than happy to tag along. Before you could begin, Dr Al took you to the side. “ How are we doing today? You good?”, she asked. It was Al’s way of checking in with her residents but today was your lucky day. “I’m good Dr Al, thank you for asking”, you smiled and said.

She continued, “Well I guess you didn’t get the chance to meet Dr Robinavitch yet!”, you panicked for no reason and thought you just gave the impression to you attending and your chief attending that you showed up late “N-no not yet, sorry I missed him…”

Al stopped you right there and assured you, “Hey it’s fine! He showed up early. He’s going to be slumped today. I haven’t met him yet. The night shift met him and a few day shift while coming on their way. I guess we’ll meet him in a while. I’ll call you when he comes.” You could clearly see the poker face she was putting up. Al and Robby were not on good terms since their disagreement before he left but were cordially professional. Santos was the one who spilled the tea on them, when she finally met her match in you. She had no idea looking at you that you’re the OG of spilling tea. You did it very discreetly and your incognito ways made it hard for people to think that you were the incarnation of Pheme (Greek Goddess of gossip lmao). That’s what got you both to break the ice and kinda be thick as thieves.

You didn’t want to overstep or be prejudiced against Robby by hearsay but you didn’t give a damn and asked Al, “W-will you be okay?”. Al smiled and took a sigh, “Yes! I’ll be okay!”.

“Now get going to triage”, she smirked and commanded and you sprinted to triage.

It was calm and slow, almost like the calm before a storm but you erased that thought completely as you didn’t want to jinx it. McKay was a total zen baddie! You both were seeing patients and in between striking up small conversations. “Hey, I’m glad we could finally work together!”, she smiled and said, you quickly responded “Me too!”, she continued, “so a month down, how do you feel working in the Pitt?”. You while playing with your braids replied, “it’s been great so far, both the ebbs and flows of day and night shifts.” She laughed, “Yeah I can understand, hang in there, R2 can be difficult. Do let me know if you need my help I’m all ears”. you felt nice that someone was checking in on you and not dumping their expectation and preconceived notions on you. “Yes ma’am will do and thank you for that”, you said.

While you were going to move on to your next patients, Perlah out of nowhere appeared and asked the both of you, “once you’re done with your current patient Dr Al has asked you to come to the central bay. Dr Robby wants to meet you!”, she said that while specifically pointing at you. “O-okay Perlah, will do. T-thanks”, you stuttered.

McKay sensing the panic in your voice teasingly said, “Oh yeah! You haven’t met Robby yet. You nervous?” She asked.

“Y-yeah a tad bit”, you faked your broken smile and replied.

“Robby’s chill. Can he be a jerk sometimes-100% but he’s nice, whatever I learnt, I did it from him, plus you’re Dr Al’s golden R2, everyone knows that. Just be your self and learn as much as you can from him whenever you can.” Reassuring you while she hugged you sideways and you lifted your head that was fixated on the floor and with a red face thanked her.

The time came to finally meet your chief attending, you were walking with Mackay taking big steps, as soon as you could see the Bay Area from far you slowed down and you don’t know why. Robby was slouching over Dana’s desk while she was sitting and Al standing next to her putting a hand over her hips and faking her smile, she was cordial with Robby. They soon had to work things out else it would be a problem when two attending on the day shift aren’t getting along.

Thinking about it you sighed “What a nightmare.” You were shocked at yourself for saying that and thank your counting stars that you didn’t blurt it out loud or while McKay was around. McKay was ecstatic to met Robby and she was glad he was back from his sabbatical, who wouldn’t be to meet their sort of mentor. As it was less of a crowd around Robby, you figured the remaining gang had already met him and started seeing their patients.

When Dana stood up to check something while talking to Donnie, Robby straightened himself. Damn, that man was tall as hell, he was taller for you as you were only 5’3 while he was close to 6’1. Robby was in between buff and chiseled and you liked it which made it easy for you guessed he had been working out as he looked, well let’s put it this way shall we, “Well Defined”. He was broad too, it was like he could engulf you completely while he spooned you. Looking at his big arms you started to wonder, how it would feel to be choked by him. You weren’t into too muscular guys nor were you into too fluffy guys, he was just the kinda guy you liked.

You couldn’t stop the butterflies in your stomach and maybe the shivers chilling down your whole body.

This thought was quickly shattered and you were yanked into reality when Al waved at you and signaling you to come quick.

You half waved at her confused and embarrassed about getting turned on by your chief attending’s figure while he was turned away from you.

You were so embarrassed and shocked by you own stupidity in this situation, you just kept your head down and tried to think about something or anything other than Robby.

You came close to Al towards Robby’s left.

“Dr Robinavitch, there’s someone I would like you to meet!” Robby turned and when he did, your red face turned pale in an instant. It felt like someone had taken your soul away and you wanted to run and hide under the biggest quilt in the world you could ever find. You were holding on to your dear life, Al’s voice was almost inaudible to you, you managed to pull yourself and shake his hand, that big fucking hand and introduce yourself. It was fake it until you make it. You could fly or fight.

Robby was extremely good with his poker face as he was smiling at the same time, while masking his utter shock by looking at either Dana or Al.

“ Heard a lot about you, hope you deliver. Looking forward to working with you”, he said titling his head and with that smile that creates those cute wrinkles around his eyes, the ones that could just melt you.

“Will not disappoint you Dr Robinavitch”, you say with those dark big eyes pale skin of yours, letting go of his hand while looking into his deep eyes.

He excuses himself and walks away as he has another meeting to attend. You see him sprint away with his head down and his hand landing on his nape and just wondering to what just happened.

“Jeez kid, you look like you saw the devil”, Dana says with a laugh while looking at Robby and then at you.

“U-umm, I skipped breakfast today” you say breaking away from the trance that Robby had put you, turning to Dana while you take your long braid forward as you don’t have your loose hair to tucked behind your ear and fidget with to calm you down from the avalanche of revelation that just hit you.

“Grab a protein bar from the cafe and fetch me in 10”, Al said while she was looking at everything that took place, she couldn’t really talk to you as she was being called for an emergency.

You acknowledge it and look at Dana who smiles teasingly yet she cares for you. Princess and Perlah witness the whole thing and looking at their astounding faces that smiled at you.

“Kids!” Dana smirked and broke into a small laughter that Princess and Perlah joined in.

You couldn’t care less about what they were talking, you literally did your best sprint to the cafe, it felt like your heart would beat out of your chest into your hand. You saw Santos and Mel on your way but you just smiled and left.

Finally, after what left like eternity walking you reached the cafe, you just took water and gulped it down as fast as you can. You found the protein bar, luckily it was your favourite chocolate flavour but you couldn’t care less.

You looked like a feral wolf tearing the bar out of the packet and munching on it.

You were really spiraling, it was like feeling spaghetti-fed by a black hole. Your mind wandered to the fact that Princess and Perlah witness it all and now this might as well be witnessed by the whole ED as they like to chatter.

You tried breathing and as you did you saw that you had munched down 3 bars.

This was bad, really bad and you knew it had to stop but you couldn’t stop.

You knew that what you did a month back was totally wrong, you just jeopardised your career. You saw Santos peaking through the door and that’s when you started calming down. The presence of Santos helped you anchor yourself. It felt nice like really nice that someone whom you met just a month ago cared for you.

“Sup Casper, how you doing?”, she laughed while handing you water.

“Casper really?”, you frowned at her with that pouty face that comes naturally to you when you’re irritated, which Santos finds annoyingly cute. Both of you burst into laughter. “You fine?”, she asks with genuine concern as she knows your were spirally down with protein bars.

“Yes! Thank you for checking on me. I’m just gonna sit here for a while, if that’s fine?”, you calmly reply.

“Yeah totally, I’m doing the same Casper, I’ll just scroll for a while and then we head out to our central bay of sadness?” She asks you reassuringly.

“Y-yup sounds good to me”,you smile softly and are glad you are not alone.

As silence returns when Santos is going through quick doom scrolling sesh. You finally accept the truth while fidgeting with the protein bar wrappers.

A fleeting night that occurred a month back, which maybe just maybe was the best and most magical night that you wished lasted forever. When it finally sunk in.

Oh no! To them he was Dr Robby, but to you he was just Mike…