Heres My Stuff

just started watching house and I thought yall were exaggerating but no. every episode is just like three wrong diagnoses that almost kill the patient and then house is like "he has underwater skunk herpes" and they give the guy a new butthole and he's cured. and then house chugs vicodin while talking about wanting to rail wilson.

funniest moment in moby dick is when they meet another captain who lost a limb to the white whale and ahab goes like “and dost thy blood not boil, aye, and the very marrow of thy bones too, to know that the wretched creature and very devil of the sea that harmed us both still draws breath??” and the ship captain is like no i’m fine, it wasn’t the whale’s fault or anything. i mean imagine actually holding a grudge against a fish lmao that’s actually the funniest thing i’ve ever heard and ahab goes you don’t know what the FUCK you’re talking about. and stamps his foot so hard he breaks his ivory leg

Never ever ever eat raw white onion and then smoke cigarette.

The gnomes beat the shit out of you again?

The gnomes beat the shit out of me again.

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