alright tell me about 'I don't know man' next lmao
Indeed! The basic premise is just: America convinces England to go to the Renaissance Faire with him. England roasts everything but secretly has a good time and reflects on the difference between how people view history and what it was like to live through it.
Since it is not very far along, I think the funniest thing to do would be to drop the uncensored complete text of the document:
England had only barely gotten home from a long day or pointless parliamentary debate when the call came through to his cell. Surprised that Alfred had managed to call him at a reasonable hour, he picked up.
Honestly, none of those words should qualify as English. “What is it?” He tried to not snap.
“I had an idea, you know for your visit!” Alfred said, enthusiasm slightly dulled.
“Oh?” Arthur said, removing his takeout from the bag and arranging it on the table. “What was that?”
“How familiar are you with the concept of a Ren Faire?”
“Where the humans put on costumes and pretend the 1500s were a good time?”
“Yeah, ever been to one?”
“No. It is certainly an American invention, my people have better things to do.”
“Okay, but like, we should go. You can give salty commentary. You love that sort of thing. And I’m sure you have armour or something clinking around somewhere.”
“You… want me to fly a whole set of armour through customs… so I can play dress up with you.”
Alfred laughed. “Okay, no armour then. Just bring something Medieval-ly.”
Medieval-ly. What did Alfred think? That he just kept all of his clothes from 500 years ago? Arthur rolled his eyes. Truth be told, he didn’t own a single thing that predated the 1650s, his civil war had seen to that. There was no purpose in trying to hold on to possessions when it was all he could do to hold onto his head. Although he couldn’t hold such a misjudgement against Alfred, not really. When Alfred was small England likely did have a set of armour “rattling around.”
Then again, it wasn’t like any of the other attendees were going to actually be wearing anything original to the time period. Those things should be in a museum, after all. So that left getting something new. Fortunately, there was many a dress historian and reenactor who owed him favours for answering their questions. He supposed it wasn’t too much to get something sorted.
All through the first days of the visit Alfred nagged to see the ensemble. He claimed it was a special part of the event- showing your friends your costume and helping them with the finer details. Arthur was quite content and didn’t feel he needed Alfred’s help. Okay, maybe there was also a small part of him that enjoyed making Alfred wait.
Alfred had barely welcomed England into his home before he held up various pieces of his costume for examination. A flowy linen shirt, a pauldron that covered one shoulder, a sword that was completely blunt (Alfred swore it was for safety purposes), and a leather bag seemed to be his favourite pieces of the outfit.
Things I need him to experience
Getting confused for a cast member
Silly carnival game Alfred makes him play
Alfred getting roasted by tomato guy
Alfred eating an unhealthy amount of pickles
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turnnoffyourmind
