Yikes!whathappenedhere

Player: Avel Ford (From Everything Everywhere All At Once AU), Mari's take on A Better World) is Athena in this particular song, but the idea was he's supposed to be Odysseus. And instead of trying to go home, he's trying to redeem himself for unintentionally triggering his brother to commit suicide as seen in the prequel, and then later trying to steal Canon Stan from Canon Ford (He goes through a whole Mr. Steal-Your-Stan phase), which caused dimensional instability and his Fiddleford going missing in the multiverse.

Level 1: Loser Ford (from the Loser Ford AU) as Apollo. Loser Ford is one of the few variants here who didn't lose his Stan and they were never separated as teens, so it's only natural he would be the stand-in for a God known for being a twin, meaning he embodies the Didymaeus epithet, which is an aspect meant to refer to Apollo’s close bond with his sister Artemis.

Apollo was also one of easiest gods to convince in the song, and unlike most of his alts, Loser Ford is actually nice.

Level 2: Reverse Portal Ford (from urdadsceilingfan's Reverse Portal AU) as Hephaestus. As far are lore parallels go, Hephaestus is known as a smithing/artisan/craftsman God. RP!Ford in his AU runs a museum called Anomaly Oddity's. It differs from the canon Mystery Shack because instead of making up monsters out of taxidermy and glue, RP!Ford handcrafts realistic replicas of real supernatural creatures in Gravity Falls.

Hephaestus was also one of the easiest gods to be convinced. In his case, however, it's because RP!Ford would be a hypocrite not to extend the possibility/chance of redemption to Avel Ford, because his Stan was portaled and RP!Ford did not know if he was dead or alive.

There’s also Haphestas’ line “He sacrificed his own cohort.” a closer insight to his own hypocrisy because he chose keeping their dimension safe and stable over the possibility of rescuing his brother, something he did not correct for thirty years. 

Level 3: Jerk Ford (from the Jerk Ford AU) as Aphrodite. Which may seem like a controversial choice, but hear me out. Jerk Ford, much like Loser Ford, was never separated from his twin brother until he was portaled, but unlike his kinder counterpart, he is not nice about it. Jerk Ford does have standards and typically does not use 'dead twin' as ammunition against a Pines variant, he would also be quick to point out that Avel Ford was not the only one affected by Stan's death.

“Claims to love his mother, but let her die of a broken heart.”

Aphrodite is widely considered a Goddess of Love, and there's more than one type of love. Greeks have different words for different types of love, and Jerk Ford embodies Storge, or familial love. Jerk Ford is family oriented, and even though Stan is the most important person to him, his goal in the multiverse was returning home to his FAMILY. His greatest fear was dying out there, and none of them ever knowing what happened to him. What Jerk Ford is against Avel Ford is that, presumably, Caryn died not knowing the truth behind Stan's death and Avel Ford’s own involvement in it.

(And Filbrick to a lesser degree but aint nobody give af about him)

Jerk Ford is one of the tougher nuts to crack; however, when Avel Ford gets vulnerable and pleads, Jerk Ford seems to be reconsidering, and then-

Level 4: Watchdog (from the Somebody to Call My Own AU) as Ares. Watchdog is an eerily close fit to Ares for a lot of reasons, the most obvious being that his most identifiable feature is his helmet. Ares is one of the Gods of War, closely aligning to Watchdog’s violent tendencies and aggression.

While Avel Ford fills the role of Odysseus and Athena because he’s advocating for himself, we’re going to look at his parallels with Athena. Athena, like Ares, is a God of War. And for that reason, they are often rivals who butt heads. Likewise, Watchdog and Avel Ford are a lot more alike than Watchdog would ever care to admit to. Namely, Watchdog’s Stan also committed suicide. Albeit, Watchdog wasn’t directly involved like Avel Ford, and it happened much sooner in his life, but the similarity remains; they both lost their twin brother to suicide, and that loss has haunted them ever since.

The thing you need to understand about Watchdog Ford is that if it weren’t for the fact that he dresses the part of a school shooter, he would absolutely belong in a classroom because he is a massive projector:

Watchdog’s anger and violence towards Avel Ford isn’t just in ‘justice’ for Avel Ford’s late brother, but also Watchdog’s own self-loathing. Calling him a sick coward, and later “Pathetic and weak” is a reflection of Watchdog’s self-image; no matter how strong he is, no matter how many Stan’s he saves, his own will forever be beyond his reach.

Naturally, he is the hardest one to convince.

However, Jerk Ford and Watchdog concede together; them being stand-ins for Aphrodite and Ares, who have their challenges grouped together, is a meta joke about Watchdog and Jerk Ford often being associated with each other and mentioned as a pair. So, Avel Ford would definitely make the retort “And tell your lover that a broken heart can mend.”

They are good friends who love each other, but they are not lovers; them being shipped together is a running joke made at their expense.

Level 5: Anti Ford (from the Anti Dimension, great uncle of Anti Mabel) is, much like Avel Ford, technically canon. While this is my interpretation of Anti Ford based on his vague description as a part time DJ and internet influencer, there’s no definitive version of him either so he’s a blank canvas.

He represents Hera because since he is technically canon, he’s one of the ‘strongest’ contenders here. Also, Hera’s verse is very disco inspired.That, and one of her associated animals being the peacock, fits right in with Anti Ford peacocking for internet clout.

While not the hardest to convince (that goes to Watchdog) he isn’t easy to break either, and Avel Ford has to pull something underhanded like how Athena pointed out Zeus’ cheating:

“Give me one good reason why you should prevail.”

“I hate J.K Rowling.”

“... You’re released.”

Final Boss: Megalomaniac Ford (From Euclydia Rises) as Zeus. So, MM!Ford is one of those god-level variants, either at the power level of canon Bill Cipher or close to it.

“Divine intervention, is that what you seek?”

His profile states he has the biggest ego in the multiverse and thinks he’s the best variant of Ford. And that’s why he’s the stand-in for the God-King of Olympus.

Given that he’s a cosmic war criminal, what would his beef with Avel Ford be?

“You dare to defy me?! To make me feel shame?!”

Well, honestly I think he just didn’t like being challenged, especially since he would have been so sure Avel Ford wouldn’t have been able to successfully plead his case to the others.

MM!Ford, like Avel Ford, has a dead Stan. However, his did not kill himself; because (I think, I could be wrong) MM!Ford killed him by proxy when he destroyed their dimension.

So you have Avel Ford just like: