Touhou Brianza Party - An italian AU Touhou fanfiction
Chapter One - Brianza Chicken Massacre
Emergency meeting when you two come home, and someone’s gotta wake up Cirno before she goes to eat another one!, cried Reimu to Marisa, in a call shared with Alice.
The dollmaker interrupts:
How can you say she was the perpetrator?
I said so, said the shrinemaiden calmly, because my Rossetta is worth a bunch of euros and she’s more valuable as a shit-egg machine than Cirno. And because the smell was bad.
How can you say that?
Because the cage was open, and the pothead is asleep now, fully resting.
Ok, ok, slow down, Reimu, intervenes Marisa. Slow down and tell me—do we have eggs left in the fridge?
Reimu shuts down the call.
Blasphemous ungrateful bitch, she says under her breath.
Then she turns toward the sofa. Cirno is sleeping there in pants and a T-shirt.
Hey! Wake up, you fucker!, she shouted.
Cirno wakes like a fairy, the smell of OG Gelato erupting from her mouth.
Today… what day today?
Monday, said Reimu.
Monday today?
Reimu nods.
Monday for sleep, said Cirno calmly as she hugs the sofa.
Reimu nods, whispering, pesky little brat, and walks toward a small covered altar—pale red and white—with a small Madonna statue near the bathroom window, in the back of the hut. Cirno’s smoked piffs are lying there as an offering; Reimu promptly cleans them away.
Blasphemous pesky pothead.
Madonna with blue eyes, full of grace in her pale red scarf and white robes. More like Mary Magdalene, patron saint of all penitent shrinemaidens stranded far from a more peaceful place.
Reimu closes her eyes, whispering prayers.
Then Cirno comes, in the cold morning.
Wassup, homie?
Homie… you daughter of a whore, you just ate my precious hen, after killing her with a—
Homie?
You strangled her—
Homie?
Reimu turns to Cirno, grabbing her small neck.
Like I’m gonna do now.
Cirno crumbles, but then Marisa and Alice come home, and the door slams behind them.
Reimu! What the hell are you trying to do?!, cries Marisa.
Killing a fairy, she says calmly while holding the neck of the fainted fairy.
You’re gonna kill her! shouts Alice.
Marisa splits them apart, taking care of Cirno, fainted from the choking.
Reimu stands with crossed arms near the coop, muttering apologies in small mantras, while Alice checks on Cirno.
She’s just stoned… gonna recover fully in a few hours.
Hours?!, Reimu shouts.
Bring me hot coffee and I’m gonna resurrect her like the Son of Her, said Alice, looking at Reimu. It’s your fault for not tending the home carefully, also for never checking the coop—only collecting eggs.
The shrinemaiden walks to the kitchen silently.
Blasphemous whore of all the dolls in the damn world.
