Misplaced Lens Cap
todays bird
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Show & Tell

if i look back, i am lost
Noah Kahan

Origami Around


YOU ARE THE REASON

ellievsbear
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

oozey mess
ojovivo
KIROKAZE

Kiana Khansmith
will byers stan first human second
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

@theartofmadeline
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@yam-linen

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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saw a post that mentioned Kipo having freckles like a jaguar
Kipo kind of ruined me because now Iâm never going to be satisfied with queer representation if theyâre not at least as gay as Benson
like,, they could have just left it ambiguous. They could have left it at soft puppy dog eyes with Troy in the background without confirming anything beyond subtext.
but not only did they have Benson straight up say âIâm gay,â âboyfriend,â etc they went and did goofy shit like having him shoot rainbows out of his mouth while daydreaming about a pool party filled with boys. Like how fucking sick is that. This is the bare minimum now
Drop & Squish Collection by sand.tagious
I could watch this forever.

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being younger than your fave characters and then eventually becoming older than them is such a weird feeling
I think they would fight for staying if Miles hadnât come.
me in five years when i still donât have my life together:
hey guys who wants to see a christmas decoration someone in my area put up
Oh Shit itâs The Skunch
#youre a sort of unpleasant person mister skunch (via @noirandchocolate )
Iâve always been bothered by how sloppy the original version of this is and so I made a less sloppy version for my own satisfaction.
LISTEN CRUSTACEOUS cheapskate SQUIDWARDâS LIVING ATÂ my house YOUâRE NOT GONNA HIREÂ him back BECAUSE A STUPID DIME

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i wanted to draw them being comfy cozyâŚ
/ The dog is often there, but I have yet to see my neighbors /
@canis-infernalis-art
canât believe hatsune miku is brittish (driver seat right), what a dissapointment
guess what side of the road they drive on in japan
please, i donât think itâs a good time for a quiz right now, this news hit really close to home and iâll need a while to collect myself

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So You Want to Fight Against Antisemitism
This post is for everyone.Â
So, you know that antisemitism is a major problem in todayâs world. You know it is a system of oppression unlike any other. And you know you have to do something. But what?Â
Learn what Antisemitism is.Â
You canât really fight antisemitism if you donât understand itÂ
This, of course, applies to every system of power in our society, but it especially applies to antisemitism for a few reasons:Â
Antisemitism is probably one of the oldest forms of institutionalized hatred in our society (along with, like, misogyny). It is so old that its tropes are written into the foundation of our world. More than any other system of oppression, you are just as likely to accidentally say something antisemitic as you are to reference a common aphorismÂ
Antisemitism is a weird form of oppression that doesnât function like other systems of oppression. In most systems of oppression, the oppressed are portrayed as weak, deserving their lower station, and lesser than the oppressors. Jewish people are portrayed as powerful and dangerous because of that power - and so, in a sense, Jewish people are portrayed as the oppressors of everyone else, and thus antisemitism is âjustifiedâ because the Jewish people have it coming, are privileged, etc. This is poppycock, but itâs built into the framework of antisemitism and thus our society. And itâs hard to remember if itâs not in your face every. damn. day.Â
Antisemitism doesnât really fall under any oppression umbrella well - itâs not really about gender and sexuality, you could say itâs about race/ethnicity but that doesnât work completely either, and you could say itâs about religion but that doesnât work either. Itâs a whole other complicated beast, coming from a time before we tried to neatly partition our world into these boxes Â
Western Society got really fucking guilty after the Holocaust and, in an effort to assuage that guilt rather than⌠I donât know, improve? Apparently actually trying to be better is too hard for this mofos⌠most of Western Society, especially the United States began to spread this Mythos that:Â
A) Judaism and Xtianity (Christianity) share an Intimate and Tightly Knit history; that Xtianity has always respected its parent religion, and that the two can be united as âJudeo-Xtianâ to the exclusion of all else;Â
B) that antisemitism was destroyed in WWII when the camps were liberated, and everything for Jewish People is Fine now;Â Â
C) antisemitism wasnât really a problem in âgoodâ western countries before then anyway (see: more anglo-saxon-y/western-europe-y than Germany) and so the united states never had to improve to begin with, we were always completely against the nazis, go team!Â
This all means that it is so ingrained in the mindset of Americans that there Isnât a Problem Anymore and that feeds back into the whole âJews are actually privileged!â mythos I mentioned earlierÂ
And then, on top of it, people have this weird kick in the Information Era of deciding that words should mean what their etymology suggests? Like, the whole âbisexual people are ONLY attracted to two gendersâ thing when bisexual people have said âtwo or moreâ for decades but that doesnât matter; or âdinosaurs are lizards because saur means lizardâ when thatâs utter nonsense, etc. And so people think âsemite = speaker of a semitic language group = people of middle eastern descent = antisemitism is prejudice against all middle eastern groups, not just jewsâ when, no, the word has an actual history, it was just a term designed to make jew-hatred seem âreasonableâ instead of calling it, literally, jew-hatred, which is what it had been called before. it only has to do with jews.Â
Also just⌠people⌠donât understand Jewish history. At all. Which is weird, because they keep saying we have an âintimate shared pastâ with the whole judeo-xtian crapÂ
So you canât just treat Antisemitism like you do Racism, Sexism, Homophobia, etc. You canât. Itâs a whole other Thing, because of the attitude people have towards the oppressed groupÂ
Disclaimer: this does not mean itâs âworseâ than any other system of oppression. I donât play the fucking oppression olympics. We all have equally important problems and we all have to help each other, end of discussion.Â
That being said, the unique mindset of antisemitism does present unique challenges that have to be uniquely overcome (just like every system of oppression has their own unique challenges.)Â
So, what is antisemitism?Â
Antisemitism is a form of oppression in almost every modern society that targets Jewish people for being JewishÂ
Being Jewish has been defined in a lot of different ways over the years, but it is primarily an ethnoreligionÂ
This means that Judaism is the religious & cultural system for the Jewish PeopleÂ
And the Jewish People are defined by their common ancestry from a small family of sheep-hearders from the ancient middle eastÂ
So, being Jewish = someone who belongs to that group of people, either through being born into it or getting adopted into it (for the purposes of⌠everything, conversion to Judaism is literally just voluntary adult adoption.)Â
And, usually, Jewish people follow the religious traditions of Judaism, but this is not an absolute ruleÂ
In the past, the prejudice against Jewish people was based on them believing in Judaism. In the âmodernâ era (since the 1800s), it began to transition to be about their heritage - so even if a Jewish person converted to Xtianity, they were subjected to this new form of the hatredÂ
Still, in the modern day, it can literally be about either, both, or somehow none, because people are the worstÂ
This weird definition of what it means to be Jewish is why itâs hard to put antisemitism into a neat box, oppression-category-wiseÂ
Like, it takes some stuff from racist power structures, but also those structures designed to keep xtianity in power, etc.Â
Disclaimer: I am from the United States. As such, I can only speak about my experiences in a majority-Xtian country. While antisemitism is present in countries where the majority religion is something other than Xtianity, it is not my place to discuss it here. That is something that you have to research on your own.Â
Also, just, so many of our antisemitic tropes evolved in Christendom or whatever you want to call it, and much antisemitism found in non-xtian countries is just⌠the fault of xtian countries to begin with, so. yeah. Oof.Â
Antisemitism is, thus, built on a wide variety of tropes, prejudices, and assumptions about the Jewish people that stem all the way back to the split of Xtianity and Judaism 2000 years agoÂ
I canât list every single antisemitic stereotype because A) thereâs too many of them and B) that would be depressing as hell and I donât feel like being more depressed than I have to be
But here are some common ones (we = Jewish people):Â
We killed Jesus
Blood Libel (we are bloodthirsty in general, use the blood/flesh of Xtian children fro our food, etc.)Â
We Have Horns/Are Manifestations of the DevilÂ
We are here to âtestâ xtiansÂ
We are GreedyÂ
We are RichÂ
We secretly control the government/the media/the economy/the world/âŚanythingÂ
And that we have a secret club where we discuss controlling things Â
We arenât trustworthy/we break our oaths/ weâll stab you in the backÂ
We are lizard people who, again, control the governmentÂ
We tax and suck the money from everyone who isnât JewishÂ
We are evil, greedy capitalistsÂ
We are scary, violent communistsÂ
We smell and are uncleanÂ
We hate all goyim (non-Jewish people)Â
We destroy Xtian objectsÂ
We cause wars, revolutions, and catastrophesÂ
We caused the slave tradeÂ
We are lying about the holocaust/any other antisemitic eventÂ
We use our oppression and past to âget thingsâ (influence in the government, in the media, Israel as a country, etc.)Â
Usury stuffÂ
We are disloyal to our home countriesÂ
We are immoralÂ
We are homeless/wandering/etc.Â
yeah ok Iâm done with listing shitÂ
If you see some contradictory ones in there yes, yes you do, isnât it funÂ
But, you can see how this feeds back to the unique nature of antisemitism: almost all of these tropes are about painting Jewish people as the source of all suffering or problems for non-Jews and, thus, worth hating and rising up against. Jewish people are portrayed as powerful and, non-Jews, as the people without power who must defeat them.Â
So you can see how denying the problem of antisemitism is actually FEEDING INTO ANTISEMITISM what a world we live inÂ
How did antisemitism get started?Â
No one likes an âotherâ or an âoutgroupâÂ
And Jews are the Ultimate Outgroup
Iâm seriousÂ
Judaism was a Different Sort of Religion in the ancient world. Rather than being paganistic, it was monotheistic (at least, after a point, it was monotheistic; letâs not debate the history of the view of Gd in jewish thought today) and, as such, the gods of other cultures couldnât just be adopted into Jewish thoughtÂ
This was a common method of cultural exchange and how many empires imposed their powerÂ
So, Jewish people, by refusing to take on other gds (by and large), marked themselves out as other
Also, it didnât help that our people originated in the Levant, which is literally the bridge between Eurasia and Africa and the crossroads of the Mediterranean worldÂ
Everyone wants control of the bridgeÂ
So, we kept being conquered and then exiled or oppressed in our homeland, because we wouldnât do the Normal Thing of taking on other gds and we were on land that people really needed for Warring reasons (and trade reasons)Â
Even before Xtianity was a thing, we were an OtherÂ
And then Xtianity happenedÂ
Xtianity, at its roots, is built on the Fundamental Idea that Jesus of Nazareth was the MosiachÂ
The Messiah, or Mosiach, is a prophecy in Jewish thought of a man, descended through his father from King Solomon, would come and initate a time of complete peace on earth, when all Jewish people would be returned to the Levant and actually control our country againÂ
Jewish people rejected Jesus as the messiah almost immediately in most groups except for Jesusâ disciplesÂ
Jesus wasnât descended from Solomon through his dad (if you agree his dad is gd, then he really isnât; if his dad is Joseph, then Joseph is from a different son of David, not Solomon, etc.)Â
Jesus didnât do jack diddly squat to start an era of peace and liberate the Jewish people from the RomansÂ
also, Jewish people are really strict about the Gd is One thing and even thinking that Gd could have an equally Gd Son is ridiculous in Jewish thought and also not part of the messianic traditionÂ
OofÂ
Moving onÂ
But, for Xtianity to be âvalidâ in the eyes of the early church, Jesus had to be the messiahÂ
And if Jews werenât accepting Jesus as the messiah, xtians had one of two choices: either they were wrong, or jews were wrong
Honestly, i canât even blame early xtians for going with the second one, itâs just basic self-preservationÂ
And as xtians gained more power in roman society, they began to oppress Jewish people more and more, because they were literally a visible reminder that Xtianity might not be Right, which threatened the entire system of power xtianity was building for itself along the scaffold provided by the roman empireÂ
So, from the time of the end of the roman empire through the 1800s, almost all anti-Jewish thought was based around religious tropes and the idea that Jewish people, by rejecting the Messiah, were now agents of the devilÂ
Very little of it was ethnicity basedÂ
Similar things did happen in the Islamic world to a lesser extent - Muslims see Muhammad as the Final Prophet and the successor to the Jewish prophetic tradition, Jewish people see prophets as not being a thing since a little after the babylonian exile, so by rejecting Muhammad jews kind of delegitimize Islam, etc.Â
But it wasnât as devastating for the foundation of Islam as rejecting Jesus was for Xtianity, so this sort of anti-Jewish prejudice in the Islamic world at the time wasnât neaaaarly as bad - Jewish people had a lot more rights, on average, in the Islamic world than in the Xtian world during the middle agesÂ
This all laid the foundation for antisemitism to âevolveâ (devolve) during the 1800sÂ
People trying to rationalize hatred against various groups needed a reason to hate Jewish people that wasnât about religion because, something something Enlightenment Means We Reject Supernatural Explanations Aka Religion something somethingÂ
I dunno about you guys but illogical hatred seems Unenlightened to me but whateverÂ
And, so, the hatred of the Jews already present and built into Xtian society was turned into hatred of them because of their ethnicity/family ties/raceÂ
this was around the same time women were considered lesser because it was just their biological condition that they were lesser, not because of eve or whateverÂ
also the same time racism against black people started to get a lot of pseudo-science crap to âback it upâÂ
it was a fun time. a fun, fun, super fun time of people wanting to continue to be crappy and trying to bullshit reasons to do so.Â
This lead to the atrocities of the progroms and the holocaust to evolve out of enlightenment thinkingÂ
But, do not get it twisted. Antisemitism is, at its core, because Jewish people refuse to assimilate into the main culture/religion of their larger society that they live in; and people just do not like the other. Everything else that has been used to justify and/or explain antisemitism in an attempt to have it âmake senseâ is just that: justification. Pulling shit out of their asses. Trying to make their hatred seem OK.Â
Every trope of antisemitism has its own sordid history and Iâm not going to continue to get into it
Itâs up to you to educate yourself about all of them so you can âspot them in the wildâÂ
ie, if your cousin Renee says âlizard people control new york city!â just go up to her and slap her across the face because you know Lizard People = Jews nowÂ
And if your mutual tumblr user IMissThePorn89 says âgal gadot killed children!â you can be like âthis is blood libel she was a fitness instructorâ because now you know what blood libel isÂ
Educate yourself slowly, carefully, and check your own assumptions and prejudices every step along the way.Â
Evaluate your own Risk.Â
Before you start actively fighting antisemitism on the ground, ask yourself a couple of important questions:Â
Am I Jewish?Â
Am I Planning to Become Jewish?Â
Do I belong to any other Oppressed Class, especially those that could put me at risk with certain groups such as the alt-right and nazis?Â
Do I have friends and family members who could be at risk from my activism?Â
Fighting against antisemitism is dangerousÂ
Nazis donât really care about your humanity my friendÂ
You can get hurt. You can get punched, doxxed, SWATâed, attacked, or even killed, depending on how dire the situation isÂ
Never put yourself in more danger than is needed based on a situationÂ
Use your head: if picking a fight wonât endanger anyone other than you and could get a nazi to shut the fuck up, then pick the fight. If picking the fight will just put jewish people (or other oppressed people) in the crosshairs, donât pick the fightÂ
Only you know your own level of riskÂ
You know if you can afford to put yourself on the front lines against alt-righters, etc.Â
There are a lot of ways to fight antisemitism that donât involve making bonehead movesÂ
But, still, someone has to do the bonehead stuff. Punching nazis works. Just see Richard Spencer. Or, you know, Nazi GermanyÂ
And, plus, you know what youâre best at
Are you best at confrontation? Punch away!
Are you best at talking? Try to explain to the ignorant how antisemitism worksÂ
Are you somewhere in between? Handle lower-scale conflicts s
Are you a lover and not a fighter?Â
There are a lot of more peaceful ways to fight antisemitism that doesnât involve arguing and physical fightsÂ
Provide an ear for listening and a shoulder for crying for victims and survivors to seek supportÂ
Break the law to weaken their power in a variety of ways
Speak out in public, and preserve knowledge and truth in the face of âfake newsâÂ
Every little bit of resistance can help against encroaching antisemitic fascist powerÂ
Recognize the signs.Â
There are dog-whistles for antisemitism as there are with any system of oppressionÂ
Recognizing these key phrases and ideas can help to identify someone with antisemitic opinions (or just straight-up an antisemite) before a situation escalatesÂ
These dog-whistles tie into common antisemitic tropesÂ
Words such as:Â
GlobalistÂ
CabalÂ
Triple ParenthesesÂ
WorldwideÂ
Zionist [note: this word is often used to refer to any jewish person as a way to legitimize hatred against them. please, please, please donât get into Israel-related stuff on this post. Talk about derailment and feeding back into my main point]
Jew/Jewess used as a noun
Someoneâs Jewishness being pointed out when not actually relevantÂ
Coastal Elite / EliteÂ
Hollywood Liberals / LiberalsÂ
Mentioning individuals such as Soros and other powerful Jewish individuals when, again, they donât actually matter for the situationÂ
Conspiracy TheoriesÂ
Lizard peopleÂ
Tropes such as:Â
Hooked noses
Wringing handsÂ
Piles of money
Six-pointed starsÂ
These and other symbols are used to indicate âI know that the Jews are the problem, do you?â and, upon assessing that in the individual theyâre interacting with, can increase blatant antisemtism or notÂ
This is what a dog-whistle does: it helps to identify members of your hate group and then group up together to create real damageÂ
And then, these dog-whistles are ways to gently trick people into being bigots with youÂ
Itâs like a fast track to overt hatredÂ
So, if you recognize a dog whistle, call it the fuck out, even if that person is just ignorantÂ
Because itâs a short distance from ignorant to antisemiticÂ
You can very easily go from thinking globalists are the problem, to realize globalist = jew, to thinking jewish people are the problemÂ
So you call it out. every time.Â
Utilize your privilege.Â
Gentiles have a unique positions. Theyâre not affected by antisemitism, but they can fight against it if they put their mind to itÂ
Jewish people, no matter their other privileges, do not escape antisemitismÂ
Of course, white-passing Jewish people can help to fight against race/colorism related situations and prejudices more than non-white-passing Jews, etc.Â
And those kinds of prejudice often tie into antisemitism
But really this section is mostly about what gentiles can doÂ
It is always more dangerous for a Jewish person to fight against an antisemite than it is for a gentileÂ
So, in terms of fighting on the front lines, the best way for a gentile to help Jewish people is to put themselves in positions of danger over a Jewish individual doing soÂ
Like, if thereâs a choice between a group of Jews acting as security at an event that is at risk and a group of gentiles, the gentiles should step up
If a Jewish person is arguing against an antisemite, a gentile shouldÂ
Uplift that Jewâs voiceÂ
Repeat what they say
Support themÂ
Fight against the antisemite themselvesÂ
Donât drag Jewish people into fights theyâre not inÂ
If you see a nazi or other antisemite on the internet or in the meatspace, fight against them yourselfÂ
Donât drag a Jewish person into a fightÂ
This is why you have to educate yourself. So that Jewish people donât have to put themselves in danger (or emotional distress) needlesslyÂ
If you want to be a true ally for Jewish people, you need to use your privilege to do things that would be more unsafe for Jewish people to do. End of story.Â
Educate as much as possible.Â
Youâre always learning, obviously, but you need to help others learn tooÂ
Education is exhausting, especially when talking about something that personally, negatively affects you
Leaving the burden of education on Jewish people alone is problematic, even though weâre the experts on our own oppressionÂ
So like, Jewish people should educate because weâre the experts
And gentiles should educate because theyâre not personally affected (to the same extent)Â
But Jewish people shouldnât educate beyond what theyâre emotionally/physically able to do (exhaustion/spoon-wise)Â
And gentiles shouldnât educate beyond what theyâre able to in terms fo knowledgeÂ
Itâs a balancing act and we all have to contributeÂ
Education is the main barrier against hatredÂ
The more people are educated about oppression, history, and society, the less likely they are to be bigotedÂ
That doesnât mean itâs impossible - I know some really fucking well educated bigots - but education is by far the biggest tool we have (the second biggest tool is fighting)Â
Spend your time making posts explaining antisemitism, helping others learn, and discussing how antisemitism works with leaders of social justice groups (or just members thereof)Â
Antisemitism is a unique oppression. It requires unique attention and education. And you can help fight against it by bringing that education to others Â
Get your hands dirty.Â
I touched on this in the privilege section, but you gotta get out there and do thingsÂ
Even if itâs internet-based things, you have to act
Sitting and not saying anything is not doing anythingÂ
You donât have to argue. You donât have to physically fight. But you do have to do somethingÂ
And, honestly, there are other ways to really get at the root of antisemitismÂ
Because antisemitism is literally built into the DNA of western society, it is everywhereÂ
This means it is a part of our government, our institutions, our history, even if it might not be as blatantly obvious as, say, racism and transphobiaÂ
You can utilize graffiti and other forms of subversive art to spread anti-antisemitism messagesÂ
You can prep portions of your home in case Jewish people need to hide there
I cannot stress this enough
It is literally a game among Jewish childrenÂ
âWill you hide me?âÂ
Itâs how we measure trustÂ
Prepare yourself to lie to figures of authority - especially police - if things get really direÂ
Again, the police are less likely to attack a gentile than a Jew in these scenariosÂ
You can use your privilege to lie to help a Jewish person stay safeÂ
Antisemitism is dirty, and it doesnât play by the rules. Neither should you
Step outside of your comfort zone.Â
None of these things are easy, so all of this might be out of your comfort zoneÂ
But to grow as a person and as an ally/fighter, you have to do things youâre not completely comfortable withÂ
This is why itâs hardÂ
Youâve got to push yourself to make meaningful changeÂ
Itâs hard to step into it - especially if youâre a baby Jew (ie, conversion student or convert) and are new to all of this - but the more you step into it, the more youâll be able to doÂ
Remember, not fighting against antisemitism is comfortable. Itâs supposed to be, because society wants you to be antisemiticÂ
Any fighting against this (or other forms of bigotry) is, by definition, uncomfortable, because society says you should be comfortable with the hatredÂ
But youâre not. Thatâs why you want to fight. So whatâs a little more discomfort?Â
Practice radical self-care.Â
ALL OF THIS IS REALLY HARD
ESPECIALLY IF YOUâRE JEWISH OR AN ALMOST-JEWÂ
TAKE. CARE. OF. YOURSELF.Â
I canât stress this enough
You are no good to the resistance if youâre hurting yourself fighting in itÂ
Take breaks
Step back from arguments
Learn to say no
This isnât all on you.Â
If you take care of yourself, then you can get back to the fightÂ
Learn to find your own limits and your own boundariesÂ
And, learn to ask for helpÂ
So that, if you have to step back form an active situation, someone else can step inÂ
You have to know your own limitsÂ
Of course, you also have to know your own comforts and ways of careÂ
For me, itâs playing dumb video games and cuddling birds
For you, it might be going on hikes and taking bubble baths
It varies and you should learn what helps you regain your energy and get back out thereÂ
It is not a negative reflection of you if you cannot fightÂ
Either at all or in specific ways
Anxiety, depression, etc. all make actively fighting against bigotry very hardÂ
Same with other mental and physical disabilities and conditionsÂ
Because then you have other societal systems of oppression weighing you down (as well as your own body in most cases)Â
And of course there are other factors (money, education, race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, etc.)Â
Do what you can, but donât destroy yourself in the process. No one wants you to sacrifice yourself.Â
You are not alone.Â
Weâre all fighting this togetherÂ
Lean on other people for support and for helpÂ
Never take on a problem aloneÂ
If youâre Jewish, never put yourself into a dangerous situation alone
Heck that applies if youâre not tooÂ
Weâre all. in. this. together. And we are stronger together than we are apartÂ
Donât be afraid to ask for help, advice, and ideas to move forward
Donât just listen to me.Â
Iâm a tired potato crying under a pile of moving boxesÂ
Everyone has different ideas and different emphases in how they fight against this horrible, horrible thingsÂ
You want to fight against antisemitism? Listen to a wide variety of Jewish voices, not just meÂ
Diversity is what weâre fighting for. Seek it out in your own education
Past Posts: Jewish Conversion / Rosh Chodesh / Rosh Hashanah / Days of Awe / Religious Fasting / Yom Kippur / Sukkot / Shâmini Atzeret & Simchat Torah / Chanukah / Tu BâShevat / Branches of Judaism / Second Temple JudaismÂ
Your purpose in life is not to love yourself but to love being yourself.
If you goal is to love yourself, then your focus is directed inward toward yourself, and you end up constantly watching yourself from the outside, disconnected, trying to summon the âcorrectâ feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of.
If your goal is to love being yourself, then your focus is directed outward towards life, on living and making decisions based on what brings you pleasure and fulfillment.
Be the subject, not the object. It doesnât matter what you think of yourself. You are experiencing life. Life is not experiencing you.
Thank you this is the first post about self love that hasnât made me want to throw things