found family brainrot

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Danny is in Gotham (yes, that Gotham, different universe, long story) to finish his education before moving on with his life—or afterlife—and eventually ascending to High King status. It’s a good reveal AU. He still has his parents. He still has his friends. Clockwork just strongly suggested that if he wanted to rule the Infinite Realms one day, maybe he should get some cross-dimensional academic experience first.

So now he’s here.

The problem? Everyone is rich. Not “my dad owns a company” rich. More like “we have generational trauma and private islands” rich. Danny tries being friendly. Smiles. Makes conversation. Offers help with homework. It does absolutely nothing. These people only care about connections.

Which would be funny—if it weren’t so isolating—because they have no idea he is, objectively, the single most powerful networking opportunity in the multiverse.

So yeah. He’s a little lonely.

Enter Damian.

One of Damian’s brothers (who will not be named but absolutely thinks he’s hilarious) jokes that Damian has never had a normal civilian friendship in his life. That if he had to, he wouldn’t even know where to start. He offhandedly gestures at Danny like, there, that one looks harmless.

It’s a joke.

Unfortunately, Damian takes it as a challenge.

Not because Danny is a “target.” He isn’t. Damian just fully decides he will prove he can form a normal, healthy, civilian friendship. Out of spite.

There are misunderstandings, but somehow, despite everything, they start… getting along.

And Damian, internally victorious, decides to present Danny to his family as evidence that he can, in fact, maintain a normal friendship.

Danny is delightful.

He charms Alfred. He debates with Tim. He listens to Bruce. He somehow gets Jason to laugh. He and Dick vibe immediately. He treats Damian like an equal without even trying.

For months, the consensus is clear:

Danny is the only normal person at this table.

And then they find his admission essay.

Titled:

“Why Clowns Are Not to Be Given Human Rights.”

retrieval team for objects in the backseat

custodian of the parking garage tickets

"All clear my way"

en-route dining concierge

Dick: uh, hey, baby bat, where ya off to?

Damian: I am attending an execution

Tim, looking up from his laptop for the first time in 6 hours: what

Steph: in civvies? I get not going as robin but at least wear your assassin gear

Tim: THATS WHAT WE’RE WORRIED ABOUT?

Steph: well yeah that stuffs meant to get blood on it

Damian: it is not the execution of anything that would bleed.

Dick: explain that

Damian, sighing with all the annoyance he can muster at his curious siblings: Do you recall my partner in the school project?

Duke: uh, you mean Danny? The teen dad transfer who you said set up a Prince and Princess Club with the kids in his apartment building, and hosts tea parties where he gives them political problems about unicorns and mermaids to discuss over scones?

Damian: yes. This Thursday the issue was a stuffed giraffe who brought tribute to the council, but the tribute snacks contained nuts. Danny tells me it was originally an attempt to make them refuse the snacks as a group, as the stuffed giraffe knowingly snubbed some of their members. But then it was pointed out that if the allergic children ate the snacks, there would be great medical risk, and the scenario escalated to an assassination attempt.

Dick: …so they’re executing the stuffed giraffe.

Damian: yes. It is good to see the young trained early. Now if you will excuse me, I promised to be there. It is my duty as one trained with the sword to ensure Lord Longneck is dispatched properly for his attempts on Princess Bridget of apartment 114 and Prince Hunter of the top floor’s lives. Good day.

Tim: what the fuck

He decided he wanted to be a little bit silly with it.

Now, all across reality, occultists and demons and anyone who was in-the-know on the Infinite Realms was privy to the knowledge of the new king.

King Phantom, The Child Killer

Meaning: The Child who killed the last king, the child who can and will kill to defend his people- and his people was Everyone In Reality. He was the King of All. He will not allow anyone to come to harm, and he will not allow anyone to conduct that harm.

Danny knows very well what people will assume his title means.

He’s counting on it.

Every so often a zealous megalomaniac decides they need the Ghost King to give them power, and what would the Child Killer want?

A child to kill.

He would never be able to stop people from trying to summon him, but he could control what they tried to offer to him. He could guarantee that only those who summon him were scum.

Anyone who chose to offer a living breathing child to what they assumed was a malevolent god of destruction and murder clearly wasn’t worth the breath it would take to ask “what do you want from me?”

So whenever Danny arrives to his summonings, faced with one or more innocent terrified faces, he wordlessly wraps them safely in a blanket made of stars..

Covering their eyes as he smites everyone in the room, leaving behind scorched earth and shadows of men who really Didn’t Have Any Idea Who. They. Were. Fucking. With.

When the Justice League catches wind of a dangerous entity called The Child Killer who slaughters cultists and disappears with the child sacrifices, they decide they don’t need any more information. Digging would waste time, and time was everything when a child was missing.

What they didn’t know was that Danny was feeding the children, clothing them, healing them- of course he would like to bring them home, but they don’t have any.

Each child was trafficked out of foster care by the cultists, or was being abused by their parent who was a cultist.

Even if they had never been taken into the circle, they would have surely died.

And no “hero” would have ever known.

No. Danny would not be returning the children, not unless they asked for it. Not unless they could come up with a safe place for them to go.

I just want to catch spelling errors and accidental double spaces and repeated phrases and whenever I use the wrong too/to or affect/effect and shit. But no. They've shoved AI up the ass of every grammar checking software out there and now they all fucking suck and make the most random, obnoxious, nonsensical suggestions.

I get why people keep saying this (and other versions of it like "Use Adobe alternatives" and "Use Google product alternatives."). But here's the problem: I do not create in isolation. Even my own 100% personal projects are getting sent to other people whether it's editors or printers or beta readers and unless every single person in that train is using the same products, things can get wonky.

Libre Office and Word handle formatting differently on the back end, which can completely break documents if you move them back and forth between the two. So if I write in Libre Office but my beta readers are still using Word, when I send them a manuscript for review there's a good chance things won't look right and my beta reader will not actually be reviewing what I sent them.

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