i still have no idea

OK BUT LIKE WHY DID I COME BACK HERE

If your friends don’t do this at your funeral, are they really your friends??????

And the sobbing is what KILLS me

I really just ignore phone calls. Like leave a message. I don’t check those either but like

i know resting bitch face is like a joke thing but um has anyone ever talked about how profoundly soul-destroying it is to be told you look sad or angry or like you hate everyone when you uhhh actually are…genuinely trying to be nice or gregarious or even were in quite a good mood and had literally no idea you were even coming across as aloof or unpleasant 

do u ever get those days where u actually look kinda ok and u take 400 selfies bc this day may never come again

This is the most accurate meta-commentary on the relation between social media and a corporation I’ve ever seen.

A guy walks into a bar and noticed three pieces of meat hanging off the ceiling. He asks the bartender why they are there, the bartender replies “if you can jump up and slap the meat you get free drinks for the rest of the night, however if you miss you have to pay for everyone’s drinks for the next hour. Wanna try it” the guy says “Nah the steaks are to high”

[puts water in blender by itself] [puts on highest setting for a full minute] fuck you