My Life Is A Nighmare

im such a huge fuck up. im going to fucking be so anxous everyday i think i super fucked up. fuckc me, why tf did i do this to myse;f

man i really just wanna not exist like easy. like i just go bye bye and im not here anymore, theres no point in me anyways. i dont bring joy, i dony bring anything, im boring in personality and nobody is interesed in me. wtf is the point man. i wish it could be easy living my life, its easy but just being myself its hard.

pepsi for the soul and the big ass fucking regrets of drinking. fuck im so fucking stupid.

I dont know why the fuck i always fuck up things when i feel like everything is so good, all i wanted to do was be ok, be ok be ok. but im not, i fucked it up bad, so bad fuck. at least now i dont have to fucking do anything tomorrow so i could just fucking smoke th e fuck up and try to be ok. fuck i hate myself

oh fuck me,,, i wann get drunk. im running low on weed and i only get paid enough to pay off some shit i need to pay before i can use it for weed again lololol/.... 

I just wish i could get wasted drunk. but i know how badly violent when i start blacking out, n i always do when i get drunk cuz when im drunk i want more alcohol. thus leads me buying more blackoin out more anf startung fights more. i hate this, i wish i was a cool chill drunk, but im not. 

Man wishin i had some vodka or some weed. would really LOVE vodka though ughhh.....i hatr how bad i cant handle alcohol 

smoke da kush till my eyes blush u w u. zzz